Chapter 1: Kanaya <> Rose
The two were often confused for lovers; it didn't surprise them. They were closer to one another than they had ever felt to another person before; so perfectly alike and so dissimilar at the same time. It was as if fate predestined their shining white and pale peach fingers entwining with one another in the moonlight.
"There is no doubt in my mind that I'll never meet someone quite like you," the troll said, and the human stroked the back of her hand with a long index finger.
"Nor I you, my dear," she said, gazing up into the moon.
Chapter 2: Gamzee <3 Vriska
She had always scared him, yes, but it was honestly far more than mere fear for the sake of his life. The clown faced boy was hideously, hopelessly in love with the spider girl. He feared rejection. He feared what Tavros may say.
It was so much easier just to indulge in his slime and let the world drift by in a cloud of dreams. It would be some sort of miracle if she would feel flushed back for him, but that wasn't going to happen.
But hey, no sense getting down over it.
Just slam a Faygo and dream.
Chapter 3: Equius <3 Gamzee
Gamzee had the the terrible habit of...well, he had many terrible habits, but this was the worst. He simply was never strict enough in his orders. Equius longed for nothing more than to serve his indigo blooded master, and yet Gamzee always wanted the blue blood to just chill and have fun.
Didn't he know that it did no harm to order him about? If anything, Gamzee's attitude of not wanting to squash another's enjoyment did exactly that.
Was it too much to ask, next time they were alone, he'd be commanded to give the highblood a kiss?
Chapter 4: Eridan <3 Eridan
The strangely familiar girl stroked his face, and Eridan looked at her with a mix of interest and horror.
“Come on, honey, don’t giwe me that scared look,” she cooed from lips that looked just like his own. The same zigzag horns, the same purple streak, the same cool grey skin and fluttering face fins. How the hell was she real.
And why was she on him?
Not that he particularly minded. She was really adorable and…ah, that was so wrong, wasn’t it.
As if reading his thoughts, she leaned in and gave him a kiss.
“No, it's so right.”
Chapter 5: Tavros <3 John
There were some who called the two innocent. Children, they said, little more than over-sized children. That’s what made them perfect for one another.
Bright, pure hearts like theirs were meant to find one another, and no one could deny the obvious love they shared. Their heads bumping together, giggling over awkward horns and glasses as they exchanged quick chaste kisses, it was impossible to think they were not made for each other.
Their silly, goofy smiles really did say it all. The troll and the human were so awkwardly perfect for one another, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Chapter 6: Equius <3< Rose
Rose tugged the man’s hair violently.
“For the last time, no,” she snarled at the sweaty beast. There were a lot of lines she was willing to cross with the man; he was smart and proper, even if he left a terrible taste in her mouth whenever they interacted. She thought maybe she could learn to love the loathing she felt congealing in her chest when she saw him.
But some things were just. Far. Too. Much.
“There is absolutely no way in hell I will allow you to make my Maplehoof into a life sized My Little Pony doll.”
Chapter 7: Kanaya <> Eridan
Kanaya and Eridan had taken to lying together in the wand pile from time to time. It was a pokey, uncomfortable thing, and yet somehow it was just so peaceful and calm for them to lounge together. Somehow it seemed the two could always manage to get the best feeling jams rolling.
Such was the friendship between the broken hearted.
“Sometimes I just don’t knoww, Kan. Wwhy the fuck wwould Fef leawe me for him?
“Oh darling,” Kanaya said, petting his hair and looking to the ceiling wistfully, “we all wonder that sort of question more than you could imagine.”
Chapter 8: Terezi <3 Gamzee
“Shit, motherfucker, aren’t the rainbows beautiful?”
The two trolls sat staring at Gamzee’s open sylladex, watching the colours flash all kinds of miracles around the room.
“Yeah, and delicious!”
“Fuck, are they now? Damn, wish I could taste the motherfucking colours.”
“Yeah! There’s delicious candy red and pineapple yellow and the blue raspberries and the—”
“So tell me sister, what does indigo taste like?” Gamzee asked, pulling the girl into a kiss. A few happy sounds emerged from their throats before the two of them parted lips, the blind girl grinning manically and giggling.
“Plums. With marshmallow makeup topping.”
Chapter 9: Dave <> Tavros
Being dead was hella boring.
But while his bubblemate originally just made the afterlife all the more tedious, when the two of them started to spin sick remixes and write the flyest raps, he found himself growing closer and closer to the weird grey bastard.
Hell, he was a pretty good friend. Certainly the best he’d hope to get in this afterlife. Rankin’ pretty good pre-death even.
His flow was hot and his beats were cool and damn, there were far worse ways a guy could spend his afterlife than with this somehow badass little dorkwad.
Far, far worse ways.
Chapter 10: Aradia <3< Karkat
Aradia grinned at the bright red droplets dripping down her hand. Such a rich, vibrant hue… and, somehow, even lower on the caste system than her own.
She really did spend too much time with Equius.
No matter; the matter at hand was the…lowblood at her feet. It was strange to think of it that way; something deep inside her cherished that feeling, the fact that somehow she was made to rank higher than someone else. She never thought she would care about such things, but… she was… ok with this.
“Karkat, what a bright, terrible secret,” she said, smiling.
Chapter 11: Sollux <3< Feferi
“So you couldn’t accept my flushed feelings?” Feferi asked, her laugh filling the room as she stared into Sollux’s face, sitting on his chest and holding his hands above his head. “You couldn’t feel the love and pity for me that I felt for you?”
Her smile grew, broad and full of razor-sharp teeth.
“That’s ok. I can always make you hate me instead, Sollux. I don’t mind!” She squeezed her eyes shut and giggled. “We’ll make the most adorable hate-couple in existence!”
“It’s so fitting…” she said, her voice dropping lower. “You’re my little Psiioniic, dear Sollux.”
Chapter 12: Eridan <3 Jade
The two of them truly surprised one another in just how good a match they were for each other.
Eridan had never thought he would find another love to be his princess, but the bubbly, sweet girl was everything he had ever dreamed of.
Jade, too, found that under the hard surface of the troll boy, a noble, protective soul dwelled, wanting simply to dote upon her and treat her as a queen.
And so it was that the human maiden softened the heart of the alien prince, weaving magic in the form of her mischievous smile and lilting laughter.
Chapter 13: Tavros <3 Vriska
Vriska sat on Tavros’ lap, cackling as she fussed with his mohawk.
“Your hair really is so stuuuuuuuupid, Pupa,” she said, grinning at him. She laughed again at the shy smile on the boy’s face. So silly—
Suddenly, his lips were on hers. She pulled away quickly, looking at him with mild disgust. Where the hell had that come from?
Still, she was proud he had finally pulled together the courage to lock lips with her. She pulled him back to her, kissing him deeply before pushing him away and tugging his hair.
“Took you long enough to fly, kid.”
Chapter 14: Kanaya <3 Jade
The stupid puns their friends made about Jade being in Kanaya’s blood were maddening enough that the two girls finally decided to try out their “fated match.”
As it turned out, the two wound up becoming a great pair. Love bloomed as richly as the colours of the flowers in their garden, full of laughter and kisses exchanged between snippets of happy conversation on every topic under the sun.
Oh, and how the sun shines down upon them. Bright, beautiful, making them overflow with love and happiness to be in one another’s company.
It was really, truly beautiful, they thought.
Chapter 15: Jade <3 Nepeta
Pounce. Nip. Scratch. Laugh. Yip. Meow. Lick. Kiss.
That’s how it worked for the cat and the dog. The two were full of boundless playful energy, and were always ready to run and jump and giggle like mad.
There wasn’t a moment that they didn’t want to sit together, nuzzling and communicating with their strange, contented, animalistic little sounds. They were constantly scratching each other’s ears, giggling at the purrs and waggling “tails.”
The group received them with various attitudes of thinking they were adorable or sickeningly sweet, but the two were happy regardless. It was total puppy/kitty love.
Chapter 16: Sollux <> Equius
It was actually through a robotics project that the two wound up developing their strange, slightly strained friendship--the development of highly-advanced AI required a comp-sci touch that the engineer of a blueblood couldn't quite provide.
They grew to somewhat enjoy the braintrust that was formed when they worked on their strange technological projects. They hated to admit the fact that they actually started to enjoy seeing one another's faces; it just seemed wrong.
Nonetheless, a flicker of a smile seemed to always appear when they happened share a glance, the brilliant creations of their work sparkling in their minds.
Chapter 17: Jade <> Karkat
It was some time before the games and riddles that had based their communications in the game had developed into the basis of a relationship.
He had to admit sometimes that the witch could still grate on his every nerve, and she still found his irate nature to be more than a little irritating. Somehow, though, it just led to driving the two closer together.
Somehow they could be open with each other, could offer each other the best advice. Practicality morphed into smiles and conversations and laughter, and within time they couldn't imagine life before being infected with friendship.
Chapter 18: Gamzee <3 Eridan
Eridan was shocked when he found the clown wrapping his arms around his own waist. He had expected the boy to react to his come-ons the same way most did—distaste, pushing away. Instead, he was smiling that goofy stoned smile, pulling him in as he leaned lazily against the wall.
“Are you fuckin serious?” he asked nervously, and was met by lips pressing sloppily against his, smearing greasepaint across his face. Eridan melted.
“Yeah, motherfucker,” Gamzee said with a grin. “Gotta just go with what you're all up and feeling, and I'm motherfucking feeling you, brother.”
Chapter 19: Eridan <3< Aradia
The seadweller glared daggers at the low-blooded intruder to his dreambubble from across the room. Couldn't a man be entitled to an afterlife without landdwelling idiots filling it with their stench? Her little red smirk irritated him more than that damned yellow blood who switched from her to his precious Feferi ever did.
Which is probably why he angrily reciprocated when her grey tongue was invading his mouth.
Sometimes, when one finds themselves with the ex of their ex-lover's lover, there is nothing more satisfying than hating the hell out of them...and hating with makeouts is the best hate.
Chapter 20: Equius <3< Vriska
That spider-witch was a terrible, hideous neighbor.
He'd seen the wretched things she had done: feeding countless young lives to that gargantuan lusus of hers, collaborating with finny seadwellers, tricking his lowblooded acquaintances into countless misfortunes.
It was a darn good thing he had managed to keep his moirail from her venomous jaws. He should have turned his back on her entirely.
And yet he always seemed to be helping her, lending his skills in the art of robotics. To some extent he hated himself for helping the who-rible troll girl.
Fiddlesticks. Nearly slipped.
Mostly, though...he hated her.
Chapter 21: Gamzee <> Rose
“So them little guys with the ratbeasts on their faces can make motherfucking miracles pop all out of them sticks of theirs?” Gamzee asked, looking at the picture of the wizard that Rose showed him. Her black lips curled into an amused grin.
“I would have thought that peculiar pescian boy would have introduced you to such concepts.”
“Eridan? He's all into that science and shit that be ruining my good vibrations.” He unscrewed two purple bottles of Faygo and handed one to her. “To miracles, my soul sister.”
“To the magic of friendship indeed.”
Chapter 22: Gamzee <> Dave
When horrorcore removed itself from the topic of conversation, the coolkid and the slimebrother found themselves getting along like two spheres in a viridian vegetation parcel.
It was more than just sick beats as well; the troll's typical relaxed demeanor had a certain appeal to the boy. There were no masks, no irony...and yet he managed to have such an air of chill, of cool. It was so flawless, effortless.
And damn if Dave didn't want to be like that. Maybe, if they hung together long enough, some of that chill would rub off.
Either way, twas damn fun.
Chapter 23: Dave <> Nepeta
When Dave was young, he had always wanted a kitten. But between their lease and its liklihood to go diving off the apartment roof after a crow, having one was an impossibility with him.
Nepeta was horrified when she found this out. For someone to be deprived of a sweet, warm, fuzzy friend was just awful!
It was then that she decided that she would be the boy's kitten herself. She'd wrap herself around his legs, purring and mewing happily.
Upon occasion, if she looked up at the right moment while he patted her head, she'd even see him smile.
Chapter 24: Tavros <> Equius
Equius wouldn't admit it openly, but Tavros was his favourite experiment.
Whenever he got the chance, he'd call the other boy away to test out various interesting manners of legs he had built for him. Tavros, in turn, was thrilled with the range of fantastical machinery he was hooked up to.
The blueblood couldn't help but smile whenever he saw Tavros running around like a newborn colt in the new bodies he had been granted, smiling like he hadn't a care in the world. It was a delight to them both, their strange sessions of scientific, creative, and imaginative exploration.
Chapter 25: Karkat <3 Vriska
“Vaaaaaaaantas,” Vriska said, draping her arms over the shoulders of a very annoyed boy, “how's everyone's favourite loser leader doing?”
“Vriska I don't fucking need you looming over me right no--” Karkat stopped suddenly when she kissed him and cackled.
“Oh come on, kid,” she said with a smirk, “you can't be too busy to talk to meeeeeeee.”
Karkat stared at her as she wiggled her eyebrows. Finally he sighed and rolled his eyes, pulling her into a hug.
“Fine, you win, bitch.”
“Aww, and you love me for it!”
Chapter 26: Aradia <3< Sollux
“Jeguth Aradia, you had to go hooking up with that thweaty douthebag of all people?”
“Look who's talking! Who went running off with the princess the moment she batted her eyelashes, despite the fact his girlfriend just came back to life?”
“Oh don't go bringing Feferi into thith...”
“Then don't you dare mention Equius!”
They snarled, immediately pouncing on each other, all teeth and claws and sharp glares. Skin broke and they bled as they scratched each other, and they couldn't help but feel utterly alive at the hate running through and pouring out their veins.
Chapter 27: Terezi <3< Jade
“So you're the pretty thing trying to take my cherry boy from me?” Terezi giggled, tugging at Jade's hair sharply. “Think you could ever beat an exotic beauty like me?”
“I'm twice the woman you'd ever be, you big jerk!” Jade huffed, pulling close to Terezi and nipping her jaw. “Don't you forget that!”
“Fiesty girl! Can see why he likes you! But I can't have any of that, now can I?”
She dug her nails into the other girl's face and pulled her into a kiss.
Chapter 28: Eridan <3< Dave
The seadweller looked the boy up and down and scoffed.
“An' they call me a hipster,” he snorted, shaking his head. Dave raised an eyebrow above his sunglasses.
“Excuse me, poindexter?”
“Seriously, Mister Irony, you don't think eweryone can see your ridiculous facade?”
“Now, them's fighting words, partner.”
“I'd like to see you try, human.”
Within seconds, Eridan was at his throat, and Dave was at his...microphone?
“Wwhat the fuck.”
“Rap battle, motherfucker.”
Eridan stared at him long and hard.
“You idiots don't knoww howw to be kismesis at all.”
Chapter 29: Rose <> Tavros
As the miniature monstrous squidbeast proceeded to suck on the skull of the other squawking diminutive monster, the tinny sound of 8-bit victory fanfare could be heard.
“Come back, Squiddlepus,” the dark-lipped girl said with a smile.
“It seems you're, uh, really getting a hang of this!” the troll said, petting and comforting his little Fiduspawn, who hissed at the monster curled in Rose's lap. She chuckled.
“It is an interesting game of equations and calculations of power, I must give you that,” she said. “But mostly, I just love how cute these hideous things are.”
Chapter 30: Equius <> Feferi
Equius would prefer no other fate better than to serve as a loyal peon to those above him in the hemospectrum, and when the young empress elect started paying him heed, he was possibly the happiest the blue blood ever could have been.
It was a simple enough life, keeping the girl entertained for the most part, alleviating some of the stresses from her social status as the tyrian, and offering the promise of protection should such a thing ever be needed. Equius could imagine no better job, adoring every moment of his beautiful service at the smiling princess' side.
Chapter 31: Eridan <3 Nepeta
Nepeta still didn't know why she agreed to Eridan's advances. Cats ate fish, for goodness sakes; they didn't date the scaly little things!
And yet, Nepeta found herself really enjoying her time with the seadweller. His rants about hemospectrum had decreased below her meowrail's level. He had taken to being a far more peaceful, kind person once he started to have the greenblood curled in his lap, purring as he pet her. She was his cute little kitten after all.
He may have been a silly fishy, but he was a pretty, sweet silly fishy now, and Nepeta liked that.