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Ge ge teaches you everything. Well, okay. Not all at once of course, but eventually. Everything you know and everything you're sure of, you learn from him. And not just at the gym.
One of the first things you notice about him is the way he treats your mother. Always with respect, always polite and gentle. You don't hear him ever refer to her (the way your father referred to her, the way jerks on the street refer to her, the things she ignores and walks past with her own quiet dignity) in a rude way. You wonder, sometimes, if he's in love with her, but he never makes a move to date her. She just keeps making him Cajun food, and he keeps smiling and thanking her. But the only time she goes out with him is when you're there too. It's a strange sort of family, but it works.
The way he treats her begins to rub off on you, and things are a lot more peaceful in the house. Your mother smiles more.
He's more than a brother but he's definitely not a father, not that you know what that word should ideally mean. But you know what 'brother' means and you're sure he's the best one there could be. Even so, the first few months are hard, because having no self-esteem is not something you work through overnight. You still get beaten up a few times before ge ge gives you a pair of shades.
“Your eyes give too much away. Wear these, and never take them off except at school, because you need to respect your teachers. Keep your face expressionless, so you never tell people things without speaking.”
You find, once you perfect your poker face, that people aren't so sure of you anymore, that they don't know what to make of you, that they're uncertain of what you'll do and leave you alone more often. It's easier to feel good about yourself when you're not constantly recovering from injuries.
The first thing he starts you learning is tai chi and you wonder sometimes how this is going to help you learn to fight. He comments approvingly on your speed, helps you get faster. You lose some fat because you're finally eating properly, and then he helps you build up. You are tall for your age, but now not only are you tall, but in just under a year, you're built, too, and your shades are ridiculous but they only serve to make you the most intimidating twelve-year old in the neighborhood.
You begin to notice that no one else in the neighborhood moves like you, especially after you've started kendo and kung fu. You notice that you have grace and strength that they don't have and that adds to your confidence. You've learned that you don't need to unleash hell to defend yourself. As your confidence grows, so too does your vocabulary, and you don't care about sounding dumb anymore because you don't.
After winning a few fights, no one bothers you anymore, but you keep studying and learning, because you've also learned that when you stop learning, you stop thinking, and when you stop thinking you do stupid things. And you don't want to be stupid.
Your father sometimes still tries to contact you, and sometimes you even talk to him on the phone if he calls, but usually it's just to say that you're doing fine, school is good, mom is good, and she could really use a bit more money to help raise you, after which the phone call is usually over. You don't care anymore, because you have learned that you don't need him.
(Although it still hurts, deep in that uncertain part of you at your core. You still feel odd, like an alien, but you're beginning to learn that isn't such a bad thing.)
Your favorite times are when you aren't at the gym, when Ge ge just comes over and spends time with you. Sometimes, he helps you with your homework. Sometimes, he just watches TV with you, with his arm slung part way around your shoulder.
Late at night, after you're in bed, you sometimes listen to him talk to your mother. It's just talk. Sometimes it's serious talk. You like the sounds of their voices together, even if you don't quite hear what they're saying: your mother's high and drawling her Louisiana accent, Ge ge's deep Southern rumble. You discover, eventually, why he's not dating her, you discover why she would like to, but also discover why she won't date him either.
It's weird that the reason is because they love each other. And they both love you.
You think, sometimes, that love doesn't make any sense.