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A Collection of Tumblr-related Drabbles

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Y’know, I’m a normal guy. Normal guy. Normal life. Y’know the drill. So what if I’m a little jumpy? You’d be plenty jump yourself if you had to deal with what I’ve had to deal with. So don’t go looking at me like I’m some kinda weird freak

I think I’m justified. And I think anyone would agree with me.

Anyway, I was just minding my own business when it happened. Some kid puked in kiddie daycare and guess who they dispatched to clean it up? That’s right, your ol’ pal Ash. Let’s just say I took my time ambling out there. Anyway, by the time I got my trusty mop clean it was almost quitting time. I started walking south toward the lounge, all ready to check out, head home and pop open a brewskie.

That’s when HE showed up.

His white face hideous and ghoulish, his bright paint making him look like the blood’d been drained from his body. His mouth hung open in an ‘o’ and he kept making these weird, jerky gestures with his hands. I knew all the signs by heart – that freak was goin’ down.

That was when I wacked him right in the mush with an olive loaf.

And that’s why they’re docking my pay for the next two weeks. And they won’t let me into the Convention Center when the mime convention is in town.