Chapter 1: Silences and unspoken glances.
There was a soft knock on the door before the principle walked in to the classroom followed by two police officers, I sunk down in to my chair a little thinking that I had been caught for my last criminal damage act I had done on the town buildings.
My eyes followed as the principle walked over to the teacher who was stood in front of the board where he had been trying to explain the diagram on the board, they exchanged quiet whisperers, eyes darting around to the class before they looked towards the officers stood near the door again.
‘’Mr. Lambert, would you please gather your things and come with us,’’ the teacher asked and all eyes turned to Adam who was sat near the back of the room, his own eyes darting between the teacher and the principle and then the officers before he started to pick his things up.
‘’Mr. Bell, I would appreciate it if you came along too’’ The teacher spoke out and eyes turned to Brad now who looked just as worried and nodded before he quickly gathered his things from where they were sat next to each other and they slow footsteps started to head towards the front of the class.
Whispers started up about how that they were in trouble for being gay and for going out a few years ago but I knew that they were all stupid. My eyes followed the tall dark haired boy who had moved to the school a couple of years back just before we all came back for summer. He never fitted in with anyone, of course everyone soon picked up that he was gay once he started to hang around with Brad more and came to school with a dark mark on his neck.
From that moment the gang started to pick on him, I had pushed him around a few times but I knew that It wasn’t who I was and that if the gang found out I was in to guys too, I knew they would do the same to me.
The principle opened the door of the classroom again as the officers stepped outside and then Adam and Brad went, I could see them in them all stood in the hall as the teacher went on to teach his lesson but I could see the principle talking to Adam before he nodded to the officers who started to speak, from where I was sat I could see the color drain from Adam’s face before he dropped the books he had in his hand and started to slide down the wall before Brad had grabbed him and pulled him In to his arms, from what ever he had just been told I could tell that it had upset him, hurt him enough to make him cry.
My eyes was still on them as I heard a few people laugh and I turned around to see them looking out at Adam before the teacher called the class back to attention and turned the projector off, I glanced back to see the officers pick Adam’s things up before Brad was helping him to walk along the hall, his arms still wrapped around his shoulders despite the height difference.
‘’Hey, hey quiet everyone now…I said NOW’’ The teacher yelled out and the room fell silent before I turned back to see him stood near the front, a small sigh passed his lips as he looked around the room, ‘’For all those who are laughing because of what they have just seen with Adam, I would be very honored to see you take the news which he has just been given’’ He stated out and I frowned a little, trying to work out what was going on.
‘’He’s got aids’’ One kid laughed out, making most of the class laugh loudly again before the teacher called for silence, the look on his face showed that it was no laughing matter.
‘’Mr. Lambert has just received the news that his parents have been killed in an accident’’ The teacher told the class, which fell silent pretty quickly, ‘’And that his younger brother is in a very bad way fighting for his life’’ He spoke again and I could feel my heart fall in my chest as he went on to explain everything happening.
Before I knew what I was doing, my things was all in my bag and I was walking towards the door of the classroom, whispers going around as the teacher called for me to come back but I couldn’t stop myself as I pushed the door open and started to walk down the hall way, turning the corner, I stopped as I saw Brad pacing the hall a little and Adam sat on the floor against the lockers with his head in his hands and tears down his face.
‘’Lambert’’ I called out to him before I took a few steps towards them both, Brad’s pacing stopped as he looked towards me, Adam glancing up a little as he tried to wipe the tears away before looking back down again just for more to fall from his eyes.
‘’Cant you just leave the kid alone for once instead of trying to bully him like you and your gang always do?’’ Brad’s voice came out as I walked over , closer to Adam before I crouched down beside him,
‘’Hey’’ I whispered to him and he stared down at his boots still as a tear rolled down his cheek and dripped down on to the floor, leaving a dark line from where his make up was smudging. ‘’Adam,’’ I whispered to him softly again and I softly placed my hand on his shoulder for him to flinch under my touch and I looked down as I swallowed and breathed out lightly, ‘’Look, I just want to say sorry and …’’ I told him softly before I felt hands grab me from behind and pull me away before pushing me against the lockers again, a hand closing around my throat.
‘’You even dare try to do anything to him Ratliff… I will personally make sure that you would be eating your own dick and crying like a baby back to your mother’’ A voice growled out to me and I looked down before I felt the hand leave and I crumbled to the floor, bring my hand up I rubbed my neck and looked up to see Sutan walking over to Adam before he grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet and in to his hands.
‘’Shh baby, things are going to be okay’’ He told Adam who in turn just broke down in to more sobs as he held on to him,
‘’Well baby I have been here before
I’ve seen this room, and I’ve walked this floor,’’
I knew people was watching as I got to my feet and grabbed my bag before I fled the hallway, eyes on my back as I skidded towards the exit, tripping a little and dropping my bag, as I got to my feet again I could feel new eyes on me which was telling me to look back, but I couldn’t. Walking towards the doors, I paused as I started to push one open, my thoughts in over time as I glanced back over my shoulder to see Adam’s red eyes on mine before I turned again and pushed my way out in to the rain filled streets as I fled from the school.
I was scared of the feelings I was currently feeling I didn’t understand them let alone want to know why I was having them, but I was…And I needed to forget them quickly before they got me in trouble.
My palms was sweating as I let my hands bunch up in to fists, why was I so nervous as I made my way through the school hallway with the others, some of the younger students moving away for the others in front of me, most people was scared of the gang…I was too but I couldn’t tell my cousin that.
My eyes moved around the crowded hallway as I watched people just walking by, I didn’t need to get anything from my locker yet I went to it anyway and just shoved all my things in before turning around and lent against the open thing.
At first I didn’t notice him but then I caught those blue eyes from under the dark hair and under the hood which was pulled up tightly. He looked just as beautiful yet he looked like hell, I hadn’t seen him in school for almost a month now and truth was, I was starting to get worried because he stopped turning up, rumors was going around saying that he had killed himself or he ran of to another state but I believed in him enough for him not to do anything like that.
He walked closer, his eyes on the ground as he passed people in the hall, being knocked in to he took no notice as he made his way closer but stopped just before he got to where I was stood, his own locked just a few down from mine as he slowly reached out with sleeved covered hands and slowly spun the dial on his locker, the small metal clicking loudly before he pulled it open and started to place his books inside. When I looked closer, I could see that he wasn’t wearing any make up or glitter like he normally would, his hoody was baggy and his jeans weren’t tight. It was like it was a new Adam, I felt sorry for him knowing that he had lost his parents and is nearly loosing his brother. I had managed to over her a conversation between his friends talking about how his brother was slowly loosing the fight and I swore that I felt my heart break again.
‘’Tommy’’ Someone yelled my name out and Adam looked up at the sound, his sad blue eyes meeting mine quickly before I turned to see my best friend walking towards me with a soft smile, she was the only person who I could really talk to who wasn’t in the gang and who knew everything about me, but this time I was hiding something, even from her.
‘’Hey Mia’’ I tell her as I softly wrapped my arms around her and gave her a tight squeeze before she pulled away to go to her locker which was next to mine,
‘’Are you okay?’’ She asked me as she paused to look at me as I nodded with a smile before I grabbed my bag again and shut my locker, my eyes glancing down towards Adam’s to see that he was gone.
‘’Hey Mia, I think I want to go to music and theater again today’’ I told her and she raised her eyebrow at me.
‘’Are you sure your okay Tommy, I thought you hated that class but you’ve been going to every lesson for near a month now’’ she told me before she smirked a little, ‘’you fancy the teacher don’t you?’’ She teased as we started to walk down the hall.
‘’WH…no’’ I laughed back as I shook my head, ‘’I’ve just been enjoying myself and it gets me away from the gang’’ I tell her quietly as I moved my arm over her shoulders and lent against her. Truth was, I had only started going again because I wanted to see Adam, and it was scaring me of how much I was starting to care.
Chapter 2: Confessions.
I wasn’t the only one to notice Adam’s return to school, the halls was filled with whispers as I headed to class after saying goodbye to Mia, walking towards English, I tried to ignore things people were saying about him before I reached the door way, walking inside the buzz was still loud as I turned and started to walk towards my seat when I noticed him sat in the back with his hood over his head still, both head and arms resting on the desk, passing my seat, I headed up and took the desk two away from his before sitting down.
As I pulled my note book out from my bag, I couldn’t help but hear a slight sniff as if someone was trying to stop themselves from crying, I glanced through my hair towards him as he rubbed his eyes and breathed out deeply before he traced his finger around the desk. I quickly looked back down as I heard voice approaching us, of course it was Sutan.
‘’Hey baby’’ I heard him whisper before I glanced over to see him hugging Adam again before slipping in to the desk between us, his body facing towards Adam as he held his hand and lent close as they spoke.
‘’Why are you here Adam, you know that the school has told you that you can take as much time off as you need’’ He whispered again, my hands playing around with my pen, I tried to stay looking like I was bored and not listening but I wanted to know what was going on.
‘’How’s Neil?’’ Sutan asked, his voice low and I risked a glance over to see Adam looking at him, tears in his eyes again before I turned away,
‘’They say that they want to take him down to surgery again to try and fix it again but they say that it would be a risk because of how weak he is’’ Adam’s voice sounded so quiet and rough like he hadn’t stopped crying for a long time or spoken in a while, ‘’He could die on the table’’ He told Sutan again and I clutched my fists slightly before I looked up as the door opened and closed before the teacher walked in and looked around the room, his eyes stopping on Adam before he walked over to his desk and started to talk.
Most of the lesson went by with Adam just laying on his desk sleeping while everyone else worked, standing up, I grabbed my sheet and headed down to the teachers desk to ask for some help on the question I was stuck on.
‘’What don’t you understand Tommy?’’ He asked again and I sighed a little before I ran my hand through my hair, tugging lightly before I let go again,
‘’Its not that I don’t understand, I just don’t know how to explain the emotions that he is going through at that time in the book’’ I tell him and he nodded before he went on about how the events leading up and afterwards could help me, I nodded and left again, understanding a little more as I walked back to the desk, I glanced over towards Adam before I looked away again, but not before they caught Sutan’s, his eyebrow raising as I looked down to the floor and quietly slipped back in to my seat and carried on working, my arm resting on the desk as I faced away from them both.
I could feel eyes on me as I worked before I sighed and pushed my work away and rubbed my hands over my face slightly and sat back in my seat with my head hanged before I brought it forward again an glanced over towards Adam just to find Sutan staring at me, at having been caught I turned away and lent down to my bag and started to go through it as if I was looking for something before a bit of paper was pushed on to my desk by perfectly painted fingernails.
~ If you really care, you would do something about it.
I looked back over at Sutan but he was watching Adam as he woke up before he lent forward and whispered something to him, his sad blue eyes looking up towards me before I turned and grabbed my bag, the bell ringing at the same time as I stood and quickly made my way out of class and towards the court where I knew Mia would be waiting for me.
you show your emotion
and silence speaks louder than words’’
The first half of the day seemed to go past so quickly as my heart pounded as I walked down the hall towards my locker, my eyes just ahead to where Adam was stood lent in to his friends chest with a few of them around them, a soft smile tugged the corners of my lips up a little to see how much his friends were like family to him, they were there for him when he needed someone to look after him. Monte’s eyes caught mine and the look on his face wasn’t a good one as he went to start walking towards me before Sutan’s hand caught his arm stopping him, he glanced back at him before to me, the smile faded now as I looked at the ground before I went to my locker and pushed my books inside.
Sutan’s words were still running through my mind as I made my way towards the hall, Mia next to me as we walked, her voice going on about different things which I failed to take in before we stood in line to get something to eat.
‘’Tommy, I give up, your not even listening to me or even trying to pretend you are’’ She told me and I looked down and gave her a small smile,
‘’Sorry’’ I tell her before she looked at me sadly and hugged her arms around my waist as I wrapped mine around her shoulders, ‘’I’m just not all there today’’ I tell her softly as she let go and gave me a once over before nodding.
By the time we had gathered our food and paid for it, we were sat at a corner table in the hall on our own, a table away from where Adam was sat with everyone else again,
‘’Tommy, I want to know what’s going on in your mind baby’’ She spoke out to me and I looked up from where I was playing around with my food and I shrugged a little before I looked back down again, her hand coming out to tilt my chin back up and she gave me a knowing look before I sighed and put my fork down, my hands pushing my tray away not hungry anymore.
‘’Tommy?’’ Her voice was soft and I looked up at her with sad eyes as I breathed out and lent on the table, ‘’Please tell me everything’’ She pleaded and I nodded softly as I glanced towards the other table before around a little to see if anyone was watching us, happy with that no one was, I turned back to her and took a deep breath.
‘’When I was eleven, my father came home drunk like he normally did, but that night was different, I wasn’t sure why or what actually happened but I do remember my mom running up the stairs and telling me to hide under my bed and to not make a sound before she left again and quickly locked my door from the outside before sliding the key under it again, I remember grabbing it and moving under my bed before I heard a scream from the stairs and then bangs as something went down them’’ I tell her quietly as I pulled the end of my sleeve down over my arms and started to play with the ends of them.
‘’ I kept waiting for the screams and shouts to stop, I can’t remember how long the attack went on for, but the neighbors must of heard or something as cops was running through the house and I could hear my father yelling at them before there was banging on my door, his slurred voice was shouting my name, shouting threats about how he was going to strangle my neck if he got his hands on me.’’ I breathed out deeply and ran my hands over each other as I glanced up at Mia, her own hands pressed over her mouth before I looked back down again.
‘’There was bangs and more yells before it went silent and I thought everything was over, I had started to get out from under the bed before my bedroom door was busted open and I panicked, finding the first thing in reach I picked it up and swung it around hitting the officer in the face before I dropped the bat and curled up against my bed on the floor as I cried. I was fucking eleven when I was walked through my house, there was blood everywhere and then I saw a big white cloth over a lump on the floor of the living room, red was staining it and I looked around before I knew that it was my mom’’ I told her quietly, tears straining my eyes as I took a deep breath. ‘’He had pushed her down the stairs before beating her up so much that she was knocked out before that bastard raped her and then kept hitting her until he fucking killed her.‘’ I was nearly in tears myself now as I brought my hand up and rubbed my jaw, I was telling her something I had never told anyone before, I looked up at her to see tears in her own eyes as she stood and walked around pulling me in to a hug.
‘’Tommy…I...I’m sorry baby,’’ She whispered to me before I nodded and pulled away a little so she could sit back down again.
‘’My father was arrested for murder and thrown in jail, he tried to contact me but I always sent his letters back and they stopped coming at all when I turned fourteen. I was happy again, living with my moms parents before we got the news that he had escaped and it was like my life was thrown back in to the darkness again. It didn’t take him long to find me one day, I was on the way home from a friends when he drove past, I heard the car before I felt the impact, but I couldn’t move when I turned and saw it coming for me. It was like I was frozen’’ I carried on telling her, her hands reaching out and grabbing mine softly. ‘’He tried to kill me by running me over but he only managed to cause me a few cuts and bruises and a fractured ankle, but he crashed in to wall which I was walking next too and he caused too much damage to fix and he ended up dying because of the injuries, I should’ve been happy really that my father was dead and that I was safe but it seemed to cast a long shadow over me for the next few years and I done things which I wish I never done’’ I told her quietly with a small shrug.
‘’What things Tommy? Was the drugs and drink because of what you just said?’’ She asked and I nodded before breathing out a little, letting her hands go I toyed with my sleeve before pushing it up a little and started to move some of the bracelets I wore so she could see the few long white scars on my wrist before I pushed everything back again.
‘’It drove me to suicide but every time I ran the blades over my wrists, something stopped me and I would just cut but not deep enough to kill me’’ I whispered to her as I looked up… my eyes went wide slightly as I saw Sutan stood behind her, my whole body seemed to scream at me to turn and run but I couldn’t before he nodded to me to follow him and I looked at Mia who looked back confused before nodding for me to go, she kissed my cheek softly as I slowly got up and pulled my bag over my shoulder and started to follow him past his table and towards the doors leading outside.
‘’How much, did you hear?’’ I asked him once we had finally stopped far enough from anyone to over hear us, his eyes looked me over before he put his hands on his hips and sighed,
‘’Enough to know why you wont let anyone get close enough to you’’ He tells me and I groaned a little and let my bag drop before I started to pace a little, only stopping once I felt Sutan grab my wrist gently and pulled me closer to him, his own arms wrapping around me, surprising me.
‘’Look I know we don’t get on because of the bullying but I know you’re a good kid and from the way you have been looking at Adam today and the way I have seen you searching the classroom when you walk in and the halls when you go to your locker, I can tell that you care about my boy’’ He whispered to me before letting me go, his hands staying on my shoulders as he watched my face.
I went to talk but his hand came up covering my mouth as he pouted slightly, ‘’No words, just listen okay’’ he told me and I nodded to him that I understood.
‘’I don’t even know why I’m even telling you this, but… Adam is in a very shaky place right now, and I don’t want you to hurt him’’
‘’Bu-..’’ I started and he shook his head.
‘’What did I say, I’m talking. ‘’ He scolded me and I looked down before back up again, ‘’as I was saying, I don’t want you hurting him because I promise I will hurt you so bad if you did. He has no one left in this world apart from me and his friends, we are his only family now because we all know his brother isn’t going to make it much longer, Adam knows it too but he’s trying to hold on to that last little bit of hope but it’s the truth’’ He told me and I nodded softly.
‘’The way you look at him, I know that, deep down inside your heart that you really care about him and that your not doing anything because of your stupid gang who’s made his life hell from the moment he moved here’’ I swallowed a little and blushed as he spoke, knowing it was the truth.
‘’Just try to be his friend and talk to him now and again’’ Sutan told me before he turned and walked away, leaving me to stand there dumbfounded and staring after him as I tried to piece everything together in my mind from what I had just been told.
Chapter 3: New Start.
‘’I’m sorry Tommy, your late with the rent again, I cant keep letting you off’’ My friend told me as I got home a few days after the talk with Sutan, throwing my bag down on the ground in frustration, I walked in to my room and slammed the door only to come out again seconds later to grab my bag before I walked back in and slammed the door again.
The past few days I tried my best to stop watching Adam, to not pay attention to him or the looks from Sutan, I even tried picking a fight with Monte and a few other people just to try and get some of my frustration and angry out but none of them worked and now being kicked out was added to the growing list inside my mind as I flopped down on to my bed and stared up at the white ceiling. I had to find somewhere new to live and fast.
It wasn’t long before I had gotten up and walked out the flat and towards the nearest shop to buy the paper, the first place I thought about looking for somewhere else to live, when I got home again, I ignored Mike as I walked through and back to my room, laying out on my stomach and on my bed I started to go through the adds until I came to the tenets page and grabbed a red marker pen, drawing circles around the cheapest and best places I could afford to rent out with if I kept up.
Going through the ad’s I had circled, I lent back against the wall and started to dial the next number, biting my lip softly as I let my eyes close, I listened to the tone before a female’s voice picked up,
‘’Uh, hi… Im calling about the ad yo-‘’ I started before she cut me off.
‘’Sorry the place has already taken’’ She told me before hanging up, leaving me to stare at my phone in disbelief at the way she spoken and then just hung up on me.
‘’Well that’s that then’’ I muttered out and chucked it on the bed where it landed on top of the newspaper.
I sighed out deeply as I stood up and crossed my room to where my guitar and bass was laid against the walls in their cases, crouching down I picked my guitar case up and ran my fingers over it before I stood with it in my hands and crossed towards my bed where I grabbed the paper and my phone again before I turned, picking my keys up on the way out of my room, I walked towards the front door and headed out before I started to walk towards the club I went too often.
‘’Tommy boy, haven’t seen you around in a while’’ A voice spoke out to me and I turned to find the voice speaking to me as entered the club.
‘’Just needed an escape from reality’’ I told Jake with a small shrug as I walked towards him where he was perched at the end of the bar, resting the case against it I sat on the free stool beside him before laying my phone and the paper down again and sighed.
‘’Tough day, son’’ He asked and I simply nodded before he moved back behind the bar, just to return moments later with a beer in his hand which he pushed towards me.The music playing was light and I glanced towards the far back corner where the small stage was, a girl was trying to sing a song I wasn’t sure off, she wasn’t too bad but also not the greatest before I turned back I sighed again and brought the beer bottle to my lips.
‘’Is there any slots tonight?’’ I asked Jake as he seated himself back down beside me, I could feel his eyes glance over me as I fiddled around the label of the beer bottle with my fingertips,‘’Cause I could really do with the money’’ I told him in a low voice before I looked up at him, his expression a worried one before he slowly shook his head.
‘’Just filled the last slot with this singer,’’ He told me and I nodded a little before I looked down. ‘’I can always cancel him for you to fill Tommy’’ He questioned me and I shook my head softly as I took a slow drink from my beer,
‘’No let the singer have their moment’’ I told him as I placed the bottle down on the beer surface before I moved it again as my eyes fell over an ad which I had missed to see, pulling the paper closer to me, I looked down at it.
The price was just a few dollars more then I could afford but with some of the money I had saved, I would be able to afford it and a small smile tilted my lip edges.
‘’Hey Jake, could I borrow the bar phone?’’ I asked him and he laughed before reaching over to grab it for me,‘’Thanks’’ I tell him as I picked the receiver up and placed it between my ear and shoulder.
‘’Don’t take too long Tom’’ He told me before walking off towards the back as I punched the number in to the phone.
The voice which answered was a quiet one, a young male from what I could tell and his voice was a little horse. ‘’Hell...lo?’’ HE stuttered out a little before I bit my lip.
‘’Hi, umm, I was wondering if the ad you had placed in the paper for a room mate was still open or not? ‘’I asked him softly before I picked my beer up and took another small sip as I waited for his response.
‘’Oh, I forgot about that’’ He told me quietly and I tightened my fingers around the neck of the bottle. There was a soft sigh from the other end before a few moments passed in silence, I could hear his light breath still, telling me that he was still on the other end of the line before I glanced around the bar to see Jake tapping his wrist and I nodded a little towards him.
‘’If it’s a bad time, I could always call back some other time’’ I told him quietly as I traced my finger around the bar surface.
‘’No, no…’’He sighed,‘’It’s still free, I suppose I have to face human contact sometime’’ He spoke out, not sure if he was really talking to me or himself. ‘’Your free to have the room if you like, but the rent has to be paid half and half, as I cant pay it all on my own, that’s why I placed the ad’’ He told me and I nodded to myself with a small smile,
‘’That’s fine, ‘’ I told him softly as I sat up a little straighter again,
‘’Great, uh, I will have a spare set of keys made up for you today, is there any where I can drop them off too?’’ He asked me and I thought about it before I looked up towards Jake as he walked towards me again.
‘’Yeah, there’s a place on 6th street, a club, McKinley’s you can hand them to the barmen Jake if you like, I will be there later’’ I tell the guy before I heard the sound of a pen or pencil against something else.
‘’Yeah I know the place, I often go there, uh, Im not here tomorrow but you can move in when ever’’ He told me and I smiled brightly.
‘’Thank you so much for this’’ I tell him in a soft voice.
‘’Tommy you look like the cat who’s just got the cream of the milk’’ Jake told me as I pushed the phone back over towards him and I laughed as I shook my head softly.
‘’Im moving out of Mike’s, well he’s kicking me out because Im late with the rent again but I have a new place now… Oh and that reminds me, the guy’s going to be coming in later to drop of a spare set of keys to the place for me, I told him he could give to you’’ I tell him with a sheepish grin, ‘’I hope that’s alright?’’ I asked as I Stood and he sighed be nodding.
Chapter 4: Seeing you in a new light.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
By the time I had gotten back to McKinley’s that night, the air inside the club was thick with the scent of booze and sweat from people being packed in, in all, it was another normal night for the pub. Slowly I worked my way towards the end of the bar where I could see Jake talking to a girl, my eyes dated towards the back of the place where the stage was as I heard a small squeal of a microphone being held too close to a speaker before being pulled away quickly again by a dark haired guy.
In the light I could see that he was quite tall, but his back was too me and it was hard to see anything else before I turned my attention back to walking through the crowd towards Jake who glanced up and smiled brightly before grabbing me by the collar and dragged me behind the bar.
‘’You need money right, so your working a few hours behind the bar to help me out tonight’’ He told me and I laughed before I started to shrug my jacket off and hanged it up, my sleeves being pushed up to show my pale arms decorated in a few dark tattoos before I walked along and towards a guy who was trying to signal for someone to serve him, tonight was going to be busy.
As the night started to go on a little more, I glanced around trying to find Jake before I spotted him near the stage at the back talking to someone just out of view before they laughed and Jake started to walk away, all through out the night the music had been different from singers to players to just people having a laugh while being drunk.
I never really took much notice of them until a song came on which I knew quite well, moving around behind the bar I listened as the person started to sing, my actions pausing as I slowly looked up and towards the stage, the lights were still dim and I found myself biting my lip, wanting to know who was singing the song I loved so much.
‘’Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only song
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it will help you some sunny day.’’
The guy’s voice was low, but it hit the right notes and it sounded perfect for the song he had chosen to sing along with the bar’s band in the back ground.
‘’Hey Tommy, catch’’ I heard Jake’s voice call out as I turned and saw something flying towards me, catching them in my hands, I looked down at the keys before I felt a shiver running down my spine as the guy kept singing.
‘’Thanks Jake’’ I called back before I bit my lip, ‘’Hey Im going to take my break now’’ I called out to him as I grabbed a beer and walked out from behind the bar and started to walk towards the stage to get a closer look.
‘’Oh, take your time, don’t live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
you’ll find a woman and you’ll find love
and don’t forget, son, there is someone up above.
"And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can"
I stood towards the side in the shadows, my beer just touching my lower lip as I stared at the guy on stage in shock and in surprise. Out of everyone I never would’ve thought about that it would be him.
‘’Baby, be a simple, really simple man
Oh, be something you love and understand’’
I watched as he finished the song after a few minutes still in shock as I stared up at Adam, I knew that he could sing from the few classes in school but I never knew how much of a good singer he was, but I couldn’t help but feel sadness nip at my heart again as I saw the pain and hurt showing in his eyes as the music started to slowly fade out and people started to clap as a few cheered out to him.
He had given a weak smile before standing from the stool he was sat upon and started to walk of the other side of the stage where he picked a bottle up and raised it to his lips before I tore my eyes away and started to walk back towards the bar where I finished my beer and slipped back behind it and started to help serve again.
Resting my head against the bar when it started to quiet down a little, I yawned to myself before I stood again and started to slowly walk towards the back room to see what the time was, I just wanted to head home now and do a little packing before crashing under the covers of my bed before I started to move in to my new place tomorrow.
‘’ Hey Tommy’’ I heard a voice say behind me and I covered my mouth with my hand as I yawned again and turned to see Adam sat at the end of the bar, his hands wrapped around a dark brown bottle, his sparkling blue eyes on my dull brown ones.
‘’Adam, hey’’ I spoke back to him as I turned around and quickly forgot about going to the back room as I walked the few extra steps towards the end of the bar where he was sat still, leaning against the pillar, I watched as he softly looked at me and then back down to his drink again.
‘’I've seen your act
and I know all the facts
I'm still in love with who I wish you were’’
‘’How long, have you been here for?’’ I asked him as I skimmed my eyes over him quickly and then down to his drink to see that it was nearly gone, I wanted to as him how he was but I knew everyone was probably doing that all the time and I knew from when my parents died each time, that question started to do my head in more and more.
Reaching down under the bar to the small fridge, I grabbed another beer before I opened it and pushed it towards his hands. ‘’On me’’ I told him lightly, a small sad smile tugging the corner of his lips up before they fell just as quick.
‘’Thanks’’ He told me with a soft sigh as he took a long sip and placed it down again. ‘’And I’ve been here most of the night, I had to drop some keys off for a guy moving in some point’’ He told me and I felt my body go cold as I swallowed quietly, my hand moving down to reach in to my back pocket and pulled them out before placing them on top of the bar in front of him.
I watched as his eyes was confused a little before they glanced up at me again and he nodded to himself, ‘’I should’ve recognized your voice on the phone’’ He mumbled out quietly and I felt a stabbing feeling within my stomach.
‘’Look, I have to go, I’ll see you around’’ He told me before standing up, before I could think about what I was doing, I was reaching out and softly grabbing his wrist to pull him back, my small frame hanging over the bar a little as I did.
‘’Stay, please’’ I whispered to him with pleading eyes as he turned back, emotion ran through his eyes a little before he softly nodded and sat back down again, my hand softly letting his wrist go as I picked the keys back up and slipped them in to my pocket again. ‘’I want to say sorry for everything I’ve done to you over the few years’’ I told him as I rubbed my hands together and glanced through the open back door and towards the clock.
‘’Look, Im finished the shift now, so how about I get us in some more drinks and we go sit over the back there’’ I asked him as I pointed towards a set of small stairs leading up to a seating area above the main club floor.
‘’Sure, it would be nice for the company’’ He told me and I nodded before I started to turn away, ‘’And Tommy, thank you’’ He told me once I glanced back, I smiled at him again before I headed out to find Jake.
Just wanted to say a quick thank you to the people who have been reading this so far :) And to also say that any comments are welcome whether they are bad or good, its good to get feedback sometimes :)
Chapter 5: Unknown Grounds.
‘’Alright Adam’’ I laughed out as I moved my arm out and handed the taxi driver some money to pay for the cab ride back to Adam’s as he laughed out and went on talking about anything he could think off, the space between where I had seen him singing on the stage and where I had brought us some drinks, he had drank more than I knew and now I was semi tipsy myself and I was trying to get a drunk Adam to walk straight enough for me to get up towards the door.
‘’You know Tommy, you’re a good guy’’ Adam slurred out to me as he swung his hands around, just missing my face by inches as I dug around his pockets for his keys, finding them I pulled them out and unlocked the apartment door before pushing it open with my foot and started to help inside.
‘’I know that you know that…’’ He giggled out again, a smile forming on my lips as I footed the door close behind us and started to look around for a light switch, flicking it on once I found it, I glanced around before I started to walk him towards the stairs.
‘’Tommy…listen to me’’ He hiccupped out to me again and I shook my head with a grin,
‘’I am Adam, but your drunk and Im trying to get you up to your room so you can sleep’’ I tell him as we started to head up the stairs painfully slow.
‘’You’re adorable Tommy’’ He giggled out again and I shook my head as I peered in to different rooms until I found what I was guessing was his own bedroom, it was a little messy and it took us a few minutes to cross over to his bed where I carefully lowered him down until he rolled over himself and on to his back.
Standing back, I ran my hand through my hair and softly tugged on it lightly as I looked down at him with a small sigh, he was a big mess now, he wasn’t the carefree bubbly guy I knew from school who used to smile all the time and just cheer anyone up if they looked sad. Yet here I was, one of the guys who often bullied him in school over the past few years with the others in the gang and just set out to make his life hell but I didn’t want that anymore… and once again I was starting to get scared from my emotions.
Flicking the light on from beside his bed, I glanced over at him to see that he was already asleep and I smiled before I looked around his room, clothes were thrown all over the floor and there was a few photo albums on the floor open and faced down, sighing, I thought about it before I started to quietly move around his room, softly picking up his clothes before folding them and putting them away.
Spending about half an hour doing this, I walked over to where the photos were and picked them up before placing them on his desk carefully before I walked back over and started to undo the boots he were wearing. Pulling them off one by one, I kept glancing up at him as I slowly put them on the floor and moved up to sit on the bed beside him.
‘’Adam’’ I whispered to him as I reached out and lightly brushed the few strands of his dark hair out his eyes as he stirred, his breathing heavy. ‘’Adam, come on, wake up and get undressed or your going to feel stiff in the morning’’ I whispered out to him as he slowly blinked open his sparkling blue eyes and mumbled out something. ‘’What was that?’’ I asked as I lowered down a little so I could hear him better.
‘’I miss them’’ He murmured out to me and I sighed a little before I nodded and moved away a little, my hands finding his as I helped him to sit up.
‘’I know Adam, but we need to get you undressed now’’ I tell him softly as I started to take his jacket off and then started to slowly lift his shirt up for him. ‘’Now you pants Adam, I trust you can do that’’ I tell him as I stood up and placed his clothes over in his wash basket which was in the corner of his room. Turning back, I bit my lower lip as he fumbled with his jeans and started to try an tug them down, seeing him going to fall I quickly moved back over and grabbed hold of his arms softly to steady him.
‘’Go careful Adam’’ I whispered to him as I sat him back down again and crouched down to help him take his jeans of the rest of the way before folding them on the floor and helped him to get in under the covers.
‘’Tommy’’ He mumbled out to me before I felt him grab my arm and pull me down on to the bed where he continued to wrap his arms around my small frame.
‘’Adam’’ I whispered out to him as I tried to get out of his hold which I found was tighter than I thought, sighing I looked up at his face, his eyes closed and dark hair brushed over his forehead, lips covered in freckles which ran over the rest of his face lightly, almost like someone had dusted them on to his pale skin. Sighing, I tried once again to get out of his hold, which just like the first turned out to be a failure.
‘’Oh Adam’’ I whispered to myself with a small sigh as I ran my fingers down his cheek again before they lightly brushed over his soft lips, my eyes following before I slid them back up to his closed eyes. I wanted to kiss him so badly but I knew that it wasn’t the right time nor would it be the best if I had woken him up by doing it.
I sighed to myself softly again as I let my body lean against his a little as I listened to his soft breathing, it wasn’t long before I felt myself starting to fall asleep against him, his body given out enough warmth to keep me warm as I slowly fell deeper and deeper in to sleep.
‘’What is he doing here? And what the hell are you doing sleeping in the same bed as that….that fucker?’’ I heard horsed voices from the distance and I stirred a little before I turned over and pulled the covers around me tighter as I took a deep breath.
‘’We had a few drinks together last night, he was doing something which none of you were doing’’ I heard another voice call out to the first a little rougher, it was only then that I realized and remember everything from the night before, sitting up slowly I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room before seeing the bedroom door ajar and shadows in the hallway.
‘’Adam, he’s spent most of your school life giving you hell’’ They spoke again before Adam laughed,
‘’If anything, in the past month and bit Tommy has been the only person to talk to me about things other than my parents, not once did he ask how I was doing or if I was coping okay knowing that my little brother is slowly slipping away in the hospital…Not once and you know what, it felt amazing’’ Adam yelled at them and I breathed out before I lightly bit my lip trying to work out who he was talking too.
‘’And you want to know another thing, he looked after me when no one else was around to do so, and if I hadn’t pulled him down on to my bed last night, that one little piece of hope for me would’ve left but no, I held on to him tightly so he wouldn’t leave. I faked being asleep just to have that feeling of falling asleep next to someone again, every time I thought he had fallen asleep, he would move and each time I just wanted to open my eyes and look at him, to say something, to say thank you. But waking up beside Tommy, and to see him still asleep so peacefully actually brought a smile to my face, made me forget everything which has happened to me, he made me feel like everything was just how it should be.’’ Adam called out to them and I felt my heart skip a few beats before a hand cam down on my shoulder, making me jump and spin around to see Sutan knelt on the bed beside me, a small smile on his face.
‘’When I said to do something if you really cared, I didn’t mean to go out and get Adam drunk’’ He whispered to me and I shook my head before I opened my mouth.
‘’I didn’t, I swear, I promise. ‘’ I whispered back to him as I heard footsteps moving away from the door, ‘’I just asked if he wanted a few drinks and just to hang out, I swear I was trying to make him feel better to forget about everything by talking about other things’’ I told him quietly still.
He laughed and put his fingers over my mouth to stop me talking,
‘’Look Tommy, from what I heard, it was Adam who pulled you down and stopped you from leaving’’ He aid to me and I nodded softly before he smiled, ‘’Just as much as you care for him, he cares about you. I know that you won’t hurt him because you would have me to deal with that’’ I nodded to him before I looked down slightly and then back up again.
‘’Please don’t let him know I over heard what he said’’ I whispered to him and he watched me before thinking for a while before we both heard footsteps coming back and he nodded.
‘’Lay back down and make it look like your still asleep, or even try to go back to sleep again and I will sort Adam out after that talk with Brad and Monte’’ He told me and I smiled at him thankfully before he got up and walked out the room as I laid down and pulled the covers back over me, curling up where Adam had laid the night before I breathed his scent in before I let my eyes close and I started to fall asleep again.
Chapter 6: Let me know you Tommy.
Im not really proud of this chapter, I dont really like it myself.
‘’Adam no, just let him sleep okay, he’s tired’’ Sutan’s voice rang out as I heard a soft thud of someone being pushed in to the couch, ‘’you have to give him a chance baby, Tommy is a good guy, he just needs someone to help him get himself sorted out and him moving in here with you is the best thing to ever happen to either of you’’ His voice carried on as I pressed myself against the wall and let myself silently slide down it until I was sat down.
‘’I don’t want to scare him, I know that everyone knows im gay and that he over heard what had been said this morning’’ Adam’s voice came out with a soft sigh as I turned a little towards the open door, ‘’I just don’t want to scare him off’’ He whispered out before a laugh rang out brightly.
‘’Adam, the way that boy stares at you, he is not straight hunny, he cares about you enough to help you home and put you to bed and eve tidy up for you’’
‘’But Sutan, he wouldn’t lik…’’Adam started before I heard a small yelp,
‘’Listen Lambert, I can see a crush when there is one, all the time you wasn’t in school, his eyes would roam down to your locker, the hallways, and in class he would be watching that classroom door before he would look down at his desk when he knew you weren’t going to show up’’ I breathed out deeply as I slowly pushed myself up and quietly headed back up to the stop of the stairs before I started to walk back down them again, my footsteps echoing lightly in the almost empty hallway. I heard the voices hush up quickly as I lightly tugged on my hair a little as Adam and Sutan came walking out the living room as I reached the bottom.
‘’Uh...’’ I started before Sutan walked over and grabbed my shoulder and pushed me towards the kitchen, my eyes going wide as he did, the sudden movement shocking me before he pushed me down on to one of the kitchen chairs and walked towards a coffee machine in the corner and started to make coffee.
‘’WH…what are you doing?’’ I asked lightly as I watched him move about, my fingers finding the surface of my jeans on my thigh and lightly tugging at it before I felt eyes on me from behind, swallowing a little I glanced back to see Adam staring before I turned back again as something was placed down.
‘’Simple, making you both a cup of coffee because I know that you’re wanting it after last night’’ He replied with a grin as he brought his hand up and motioned for Adam to walk in to the room, looking down at the table and the cup he had placed in front of me, I moved my hands out and wrapped my fingers around it before I pulled it closer to me and looked down at the steam coming off, the smell filling my nose and clearing my mind a little.
‘’Sutan, will you go find my phone please?’’ Adam asked and I looked up a little to see him smile weakly at him before Sutan walked out the room and headed upstairs, ‘’I wouldn’t drink it’’ He told me as I started to lift the cup to my lips, my eyes moving up to his.
‘’Why not, it smells fine’’ I tell him as he smiled again and walked towards the sink, pouring half of his cup down it before he turned back and looked up at me as he lent against the counter.
‘’Because if anyone could murder coffee its Sutan’’ He told me, a smile tilting the edge of his lips up. I nodded a little before going to say something as footsteps came closer and he came pouncing in, phone in hand as he walked over to Adam.
I looked back down as they started to talk quietly to each other, my eyes watching the brown liquid in the white cup before I raised it to my lips and took a sip.
Coughing, I placed the cup back down and covered my mouth as I looked back up at them,
‘’Sorry’’ I told them and Sutan smiled and nodded before I saw Adam almost smirk as if he was saying I told you so to me.
‘’Anyway baby, I have to go, you two have fun now’’ He told Adam before kissing his cheek and smiled at me, watching as he left, I chewed the inside of my lip a little as I toyed around with the cup in my hands just for it to be removed by Adam moments later and thrown down the drain like his was.
‘’Come on, starbucks, my treat’’ He smiled at me, my own smile playing his back as I stood and followed him out towards the door where he grabbed a jacket and his keys.
Slowly I followed him out the door and let it close behind me before I paused and bit my lip a little as I breathed out and started down the steps slowly after him.
‘’So…’’ Adam started before he stopped again and looked down at the box in his hands before he placed some more of my jeans in to it, my eyes looking towards him,
‘’So what?’’ I asked him with a small grin as I glanced over my shoulder at him before I turned back and carried on packing my desk contents in to the box which was laid on the floor, after our coffee this afternoon, Adam made me agree to let him help me back and take some of my things back to his place so I didn’t have a lot to do on my own.
‘’So…’’ He started again before he walked over and started to open my drawers for the rest of my clothes, ‘’Let me get this right… You started going to McKinley’s because you needed a break from the real world and you became friends with Jake’’ He told me and I nodded.
‘’and you lied about how old you were to him just so you could get served beer’’ He asked again and I nodded.
‘’But he caught you leaving school once’’
‘’that’s true, and that’s when everything came out, I went around that night because I needed a drink and he dragged me in to the back room’’ I laughed out as I closed my box and grabbed the tap and pulled it over to seal it.
I heard Adam laugh and I looked over at him to see him wiping his eyes a little, a frame in his hands. I went wide eyed a little and ran over, stealing it away and stepped towards the bed as I glanced down and pressed the photo against my chest.
‘’You so did not see that’’ I tell him quickly as he turned and stepped closer to me,
‘’See what?’’ He asked and I breathed out slightly, ‘’All I saw was a younger Tommy dressed up I a skirt and corset while kissing a guys cheek’’ He grinned out and I felt my cheeks redden as I turned and started to walk towards one of my boxes. I felt hands grab my waist, pulling me back before they moved around trying to get the frame.
‘’No, leave it alone’’ I laughed out as I struggled against Adam, a grin stuck on my face as I heard him laugh before he managed to pull it away from me, pouting a little I turned around to see him pulling his phone out and I went wide eyed again.
‘’don’t you dare Lambert’’ I say to him as I pointed at his phone, a smirk on his lips as he held it out my reach as I went to grab it, before I knew it the sound of a camera went off and I stood there staring at him. ‘’Please don’t tell me you saved a picture of it’’ I whined out before I took the photo back and put it in a box.
‘’Why not, it’s cute’’ He tells me before he shrugged and walked back over to my drawers.
‘’Its… not…cute’’ I tell him, I could feel my cheeks get warm again as I tried to busy myself in to packing again, ‘’It’s embarrassing’’ I mumbled out which Adam must of caught as I heard him laugh.
For a while there was silence again apart from the sound of things being packed in to boxes and the sound of tape sealing them up.
‘’Hey Tommy who are these people in this photo with you’’ I heard Adam ask and I turned around to see him with a photo album in his hands. I knew from the rich red color of the cover that he had found some photos of my parents. I had forgotten all about it, being buried in the back of my wardrobe from where I had hid it a while back.
Walking over I took it from him and looked down at the photos, the angry from what my father did starting to build up slightly inside as I closed the book and threw it in to one of the boxes,
‘’No one’’ I muttered out to him as I turned and stated to walk away, feeling him grab my wrist I sighed before looking up at him.
‘’Tommy’’ He whispered out to me, his bright blue eyes shining in to mine, I hadn’t seen that glow in them since before he found out about his parents. Sighing, I moved and sat on my bed as he let my wrist go, leaning over I grabbed the album again and pulled it in to my lap before I opened it and found the photo he looked at before I pulled it out and turned it around.
‘’That’s my mom’’ I told him quietly as I pointed to the women who had her arms around my neck as we both laughed, he smiled softly at me as he looked from the photo up to me again, a small line creasing across his forehead.
‘’Who’s that?’’ He asked as he pointed to my father who had stood near the edge, I sighed and slipped the photo back in to the slot and looked down,
‘’I guess you could call him my dad but he wasn’t a father to me’’ I told him as I placed the album back in the box again and stood back up before I sealed the box and placed it with the others.
‘’Where are they now?’’ He asked in a soft voice and I looked up at him, his face held sort of held a look of wonder and I couldn’t help but sigh lightly as I looked down to carry on with what I was doing. ‘’Sorry, I shouldn’t of asked Tommy’’ He told me and I shook my head softly.
‘’Its fine, ‘’ I told him softly as I looked back up at him and gave him a small smile, ‘’They are both dead’’ I told him with a small shrug, his face falling a little, ‘’I was 11 when my mom died and 14 when my dad died’’ I told him as I let my eyes scan around the empty room and then the few things which was left to pack.
‘’What … what happened to them, only if you don’t mind me asking?’’ Adam’s voice was soft and I knew that he was just trying to get to know me as the person I was and not how I acted towards him in school. Walking over to the window, I stood looking out of it, watching the wind blowing a tree about as I breathed out lightly.
‘’I was 11 when my mom died, she was killed by my own father’’ I told him quietly and I could hear him stop moving about as I told him that fact about myself. I let a small laugh out to myself as I crossed my arms, ‘’you would’ve loved to of met my mom, she was the most amazing women ever, always knew what to say to you and when to say it’’ I told him with a smile as I watched a leave in caught in the gutter just below the window. ‘’She wasn’t only my mom. She was my best friend and guidance councilor all at the same time. She told me the things I needed to know to help me get through life but that changed once she was gone I guess, I didn’t have that safety for me, I didn’t have anyone to turn to when I just needed to talk and let out all the things I was feeling so I bottled them up and as I grew older, I started to hate my father even more. ‘’ I tell him quietly before I sighed and turned around, sitting on the window sill, I glanced up towards him to see him watching me, his lower lip caught between his teeth.
‘’They arrested my father, but he got out of jail when I was 14, I didn’t know this and I was leaving a friends to come home when I felt like something was going to happen, it wasn’t for another five minutes that I felt like I was being followed.’’ I tell him, my hands moving beside me and on to the window sill. It felt strange talking about it, I had only ever spoken to a councilor before hand and then Mia in school, but now I was telling someone I hardly knew again about it. ‘’He stepped on the gas and he aimed his truck right for me, trying to run me over, I had managed to just get out of the way in time before he hit me fully, but he carried on going, I don’t know if the gas had got stuck or if he kept his foot on it, but he crashed in to a wall which killed him’’ I told him with a small shrug, ‘’you see, with my father, I always grew up not knowing what was going to happen day to day. Some days he was the perfect dad, teaching me how to fix a car or playing catch with me and then there was others when he was like a stranger, came home drunk and beat me and mom until he passed out’’ I told him as I kept my eyes on the ground.
There was a few second silence before I felt hands on my shoulders, pulling me up and then against his chest as his arms came to fold around me tightly,
‘’Im so sorry Tommy’’ He whispered in to my ear softly and I felt a chill run down my spine as I slowly let my arms fold around his waist. ‘’Your mom sounded like a wonderful lady’’ He told me and I let a small laugh out before I nodded against his chest.
‘’She was’’ I whispered to him.
He pulled away from me before walking over and picking his jacket up, ‘’Come on, we are going to go out for a drink’’ He told me as he slipped his arms in and smiled at me, the feeling warming my heart up slightly before I laughed and nodded.
‘’Alright then, but im not helping you home this time, Im planning on getting drunk’’ I told him with a smirk as I grabbed my jacket and slipped it on as we started to leave Mike’s apartment and headed towards McKinley’s.
‘’Ad…am’’ I chocked out to him with laughter as we both fell through the front door of his place, feeling him help me to my feet I laughed again and kept hold of his arm as the door shut behind us and the sound of the lock filled the air as I watched him as he placed his keys down on the table before turning to look at me with a smile. We were both just as drunk as each other and somehow managed to get a cab back home, whether it was with help from Jake I couldn’t remember as I smiled back at him.
After laughing together for a while, we both hand another drink from his fridge before we started to stagger towards the stairs, using each other as balance before we crawled up the stairs and in to Adam’s room where he jumped on his bed and I walked over to the chair he had in there and sat down, my head hanging back a little as I finished the beer off.
‘’Tommy’’ Adam murmured out to me as he moved closer to me and I looked up at him, my eyes meeting his as he took the empty bottle from me and placed it on the desk just behind me before his hands came to rest on the chair either side of my head. ‘’Tommy…’’ He murmured to me again as he moved his body closer , his legs leaning against mine as his forehead came to lean on mine. ‘’Let me know you…’’ His words came out slurred, the scent of him being so close and the feeling of his breath on my face causing my mind to turn in to mush.
‘’How’’ I murmured back to him as I moved my eyes up to see his closed before the fell to his lips which were close to my face.
‘’I like you’’ He whispered out to me, my eyes watching his lips form every word before I looked back up to see him staring at me now before he lent down, his lips touching against mine lightly as if he was testing the waters, slowly my eyes fell shut as I reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down on to my body as I started to move my lips against his softly.
‘’Move’’ He mumbled against my lips as he got off me and started to pull me up, letting his shirt go, I pushed up off the chair as I returned my lips to his again and we staggered over on to his bed where I landed under him, the weight of his body pressing down over me as my hands started to run south before I pushed them up under his shirt and on to his warm skin. ‘’Tommy’’ He murmured out again as he pulled his lips away from mine and started to kiss down my jaw before he touched them against my neck lightly, my eyes slid closed again as my lips parted enough to let a soft groan out as I felt him suck on my skin.
Running my hands further up his chest until my fingers curled over his shoulders, I pulled him down closer to me and brought one of my knees up against his side as he pressed his body against mine tightly, his lips roaming over my neck, dragging lower until he couldn’t go any further before they returned to mine deeply.
After another few minutes of kissing and touching Adam rolled off me and laid on the bed beside before he pulled me in against his chest tightly and kissed my head softly, ‘’Not like this’’ He muttered out to me as I breathed out deeply.
‘’I like you too Adam’’ I whispered out in to his chest as I curled tighter to him and let my arm move around his waist as I breathed out, I could feel myself starting to fall asleep and I loved the feeling of being in his arms so tightly, his warmth warming me though out.
Chapter 7: Shattered smiles.
The day we woke up still tangled up next to each other was still a little awkward for us before I had quickly ran from his room, something I always did so I didn’t have to face my problems, but now two days later and I was stood in front of the mirror in my own room, everything had been brought over to Adam’s and I had just finished unpacking when I noticed the mark on my neck still, I sighed and ran my fingers over it before I looked down and grabbed my keys and jacket as I walked out and started to get head towards the door to leave for school.
‘’Tommy’’ I heard Adam’s voice and I spun around to see him walking out the kitchen with a coffee cup in each hand. ‘’I knew that you were running late so I brought you a coffee’’ He told me as he walked closer and held one out towards me, watching him for a few seconds, I smiled softly before nodding,
‘’Thanks’’ I tell him as I slipped my jacket on and then took it from him, my eyes darting towards the clock now knowing that I had a few extra minutes before school started thanks to Adam. As I looked back to him, I could see that he was staring at my neck and at the mark which he left there, breathing out a little, I looked back down and brought my hand up, rubbing over it softly before I brought the collar of my jacket closer over it before glancing back up at him to see him now staring at his coffee cup.
I breathed out deeply before letting the breath out again and walked closer to him before he looked up at me slowly, ‘’Look, what happened the other night happened okay’’ I whispered to him, his eyes lowered again and he nodded. ‘’But…it don’t mean that I didn’t regret kissing you’’ I told him lightly and he snapped back up to look at me confused, which made me laugh softly before he blushed. ‘’Just…just don’t go moping about’’ I told him with a smile as I placed my hand against his chest softly and lent up kissing his cheek lightly before I turned and walked towards the door.
‘’Hey Tommy’’ I turned and looked at him as he smiled, ‘’Im glad that you have changed around me, and I understand if your made to bully me in school again okay’’ He told me and I bit my lip a little before I looked down.
‘’I really don’t like doing that’’ I admitted to him and he smiled before nodding to me,
‘’I know but I don’t mind because I know the person you are inside and you’re a good guy Ratliff’’ He told me and I laughed before I shook my head and headed out of the front door and started to walk towards school.
All morning seemed to be pretty quiet and every so often I would find Adam staring at me before he would give a small smile and then look away again, a small smirk playing on my lips as I went back to do whatever I was doing. I was glad that Sutan wasn’t in class this morning to catch us grinning at each other.
‘’Tommy’’ I jumped as I heard Mia squeal my name out before she came running over and jumped on me before her hands found my collar and she dragged it away from my neck so she could see the mark on it as she grinned and clapped her hands together. ‘’Who is she…tell me tell me’’ She squealed out again and I laughed before I shook my head and turned around to finish putting everything in my locker and slammed it shut before we started to walk towards the lunch hall.
‘’Im not telling you anything’’ I tell her as we got in line and I grabbed a tray, walking along, Mia kept nagging me to tell her which lucky girl I had now and I couldn’t help but smirk a little as I grabbed some chips and a bottle of pop before I walked towards the till and paid for my lunch.
‘’Tommy Joe Ratliff, don’t make me go snooping around again, I already had to find out about that filthy mark on your neck by peoples whispers in class today’’ She told me in a motherly tone which made me start laughing as I walked. Nearly walking in to someone I looked up to see Brad as he passed us before he headed towards the back table.
‘’What was that look all about?’’ Mia asked a little quieter now as I shrugged and started to walk towards our normal table.
‘’No idea, and don’t really care if im honest babe’’ I tell her as she glanced over towards them before back again as she sat down across from me, pulling my jacket off, I placed it with my bag on the chair next to me before I lent forward and started to eat a little, my eyes scanning the room before they fell upon Adam and Sutan walking in to the hall and towards the lunch line.
‘’Tommy – Joe Ratliff, would you please report to History room 102 please’’ The loud speaker rang out and I glanced towards Mia who was staring at me and I shrugged slightly before I pulled my jacket on and grabbed my pop bottle and bag.
‘’See you later’’ I tell her and kissed her head before I started to head towards the doors, my eyes catching Adam as he made his way pass me with Sutan, a small smirk forming on my lips before I looked away again and pulled my bag up over my head so it rested against my side as I walked along the hall, my eyes on the ground up ahead of me as I walked.
‘’I need what?’’ I asked the History teacher as I paced the floor a little, ‘’I thought I was doing fine in History, so why am I here?’’ I asked him confused, I knew that I wasn’t failing but I thought I was doing fine in History.
‘’Mr. Ratliff, plea-‘’
‘’Never call me that!’’ I told the teacher angrily, cutting him off as he tried speaking. Grabbing my bag I pushed past the teacher before heading out in to the hallway, my temper on breaking edge as I rounded the corner and I felt myself being pushed back before being hit in the jaw as I flew to the ground.
‘’What the fuck’’ I yelled out as I grabbed my jaw and looked up to see Brad stood above me, I watched as he lent down and grabbed the front of my shirt before pulling me to my feet, his knee coming up and hitting my stomach,
‘’That’s from Adam’’ He growled out to me before letting me go and he started to walk away.
Clutching at my body, I breathed out a little before grabbing my bag again as I started to head back down the hall again, my mood pushed right over now. I heard laughing come towards me as I pushed my hands in to my pockets of my jacket, glancing up I saw Adam and his group of friends before I looked back down again and kept walking, pushing my way through them.
‘’Tommy, hey what’s wrong?’’ I heard Adam’s voice ring out and I stopped a little before I turned to look towards him, his eyes widening a little as he saw the mark on my jaw, but I also saw the care for me in his eyes, the way he looked at me like he actually wanted to get to know me but I didn’t know anymore, what happened if what Brad said was true and those punches was really from him.
‘’Fuck you Lambert’’ I spat at him before I really thought about what I was saying, turning I walked away, leaving him stood there stunned at my sudden harsh words I had spat out to him.
At first my feet started to take me towards the lunch hall before I changed my mind and turned and started to head down towards where my locker was, eyes on the ground I walked over and angry spun my locker code in before I yanked my things out and slammed it shut again. Walking away I paused quickly as I looked up to see Sutan staring at me and Adam curled in to his body.
‘And now I miss everything about you
I can’t believe I still want you
After all the things we’ve been through.
I miss everything about you.’
‘’I want to talk to you’’ Sutan spoke out to me and I let a small laugh out,
‘’Forget it, ‘’ I called out to him as I started to pass, heading down the hall a little I paused again and turned back, ‘’And next time you want to hit someone Adam, do it yourself and don’t get one of your friends to do it for you’’ I told him before I carried on walking until I found myself walking along the street and towards Jake’s club.
Chapter 8: Its 4:03 and I cant sleep without you next to me.
Again, I dont really like this chapter, but its been in my mind all day and to be honest since yesterday when I started to write it.
Also, it starts to get a little hot between them in this chapter and maybe in the next one or two, so just a warning about that and a quick sorry for letting you down if it isnt what you expect it to be :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I knew that I was just trying to drink every thought away that night as I sat at the end of the bar in the darkest corner I could find, Jake’s eyes flicking over to me every now and again to check on me. Picking up my countless number beer again I downed a large mouth full before slamming the empty bottle back down on to the bar surface and started to get up before I felt myself fall off the stool.
‘’Fuckk’’ I slurred out as I started to stagger back to my feet again, hands gripping out to everything and anything before I felt firm hands on my shoulders pulling me up and then slammed back down on to the stool.
‘’Christ Tommy, what the hell has gotten in to you tonight’’ Jakes voice rang clear through my ears and I couldn’t help but laugh a little, ‘’You need to start pulling yourself together Tommy, this isn’t a good look for me to have you hanging around drunk here all the time, ‘’ He tells me angrily before I laughed softly to myself as I suddenly found an interest in my hair a little which had fallen over my eyes. I heard Jake sigh before pushing me back in to the seat before he grabbed the empty bottles off the bar surface and shook his head.
‘’Go home Tommy, your drunk. Just…I don’t know. Just get out of here now’’ He scolds me before walking away, leaving me on my own again, running my hand through my hair I pushed it out my face and over to the left again before I got to my feet slowly, swaying a little before I felt hands grab me before they stated to drag me. Struggling against their grip, I muttered out slightly before they started to drag me towards the door of the bar.
‘’Get off me’’ I slurred out to him as I tried to get out of their hold again and I heard a laugh,
‘’Im taking you home Tommy and then you need to make up some good excuse for the way you treated Adam today in school’’ The voice told me as they pulled me out in to the cool night air.
I couldn’t remember much between drinking at the bar before being pushed in to a car and driven back home again and pulled in to a brightly lit kitchen.
‘’Tommy, ‘’ I heard someone sigh and I looked up to see Adam sat at the table with a book in front of him and glasses perched on the tip of his nose as if he had been sat up reading for a long time. I couldn’t help but giggle slightly.
‘’Your cute’’ I grinned out to him and he sighed again and shook his head before getting up, his hands reached out for his book which still laid on the table before I went to grab his hand.
‘’Your drunk Tommy’’ He told me and I giggled again before I felt a hot cup being pushed in to my hands,
‘’Here drink this ‘’ A girls voice told me again and I was surprised a little before I looked around to see Sutan stood against the counter and then Mia in front of me and I grinned and put the cup down and threw my arms around her neck as I fell to the floor and laughed.
‘’Mia, Mia, Mia ‘’ I laughed out to her before kissing her cheek before letting her go and stretched out on the floor before I turned on to my side and curled up tightly.
‘I see your blue eyes every time I close mine,
You make it hard to see
Where I belong too when I’m not around you
Its like im not with me.’
‘’Just get him in to bed’’ A distant voice called out before I felt an arm wrap around my side and then another under my knees, breathing out deeply I turned in to their chest and snuggled in more as my arm came up around their neck gently.
I felt at ease being against their chest, the scent coming off was all familiar and I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at the Ebony blue haired boy carrying me, his soft lips parted lightly with a dusting of freckles before I closed my eyes again and curled in to him more.
‘’Adam’’ I murmured against his chest as I felt his hands shift a little to hold me closer.
By the time I had woken up, I was alone and laid in my bed in a pair of sweat pants, rolling over slightly I could feel my head hurting a little and I knew that I had drank too much before the night was even started, glancing up at the clock I saw that it read 3:48am and I groaned a little before rolling back over and pulled the covers up over me as I shifted around until I was comfortable, letting my eyes close again I pulled the covers up under my chin.
Images of blue eyes crossed over my mind and I knew that they belonged to Adam before I opened my own eyes again and stared up in to the darkness of my room, I felt guilty and I felt like a jerk for the way I acted towards him in school and I should’ve known better then to believe what Brad had said about him. Adam would never hurt anyone.
I rolled over again after a few moments of trying to sleep with a sigh as my eyes found the bright clock face on the bedside unit beside me, 4:03am. I couldn’t sleep and all I wanted to do was curl up in to Adam again, to tell him that I was sorry for the way I had behaved towards him.
Laying awake for another ten minutes or so, I slowly pulled myself out of bed and ran my hand through my messy hair before I rubbed my eyes and made my way towards the bedroom door before I pulled it open and stumbled out in to the brightly lit hall way, the light hurting my eyes as I quickly covered them with my hand.
‘’Shit, Tommy Im sorry I didn’t know you was awake’’ Came Adam’s voice from the side of me and I slowly pulled my hand away as he clicked the lights off.
‘’Its fine, I was actually just about to come and see if you were awake’’ I admitted to him quietly as there was a shuffle and then a sound of something being placed down, china against wood I was guessing. ‘’I wanted to tell you that I was sorry for how I spoke to you today or yesterday in school’’ I told him and rubbed my hand up over my arm as I breathed out in the silence.
‘’Its okay’’ He told me and I looked up towards his dark figure wide eyed that he had just accepted it as easy as that.
‘’It…It is?’’ I asked, still surprised and it must of come across in my tone as I heard him laugh quietly to himself.
‘’Yeah, I thought about what you had said about getting one of my friends and It didn’t take me long to figure out what you had meant and Brad soon admitted that he hit you a few times’’ He whispered out to me before I felt a cool touch against the side of my jaw lightly.
‘’Oh…’’ Was all I could find to say as my mind started to go blank from his light touch already, another soft chuckle escaped his lips and I felt his breath against my cheek slightly.
‘’How is your jaw now anyway?’’ He asked before I felt him move,
‘’Uh...my...my jaw...Oh yeah, it’s…uh...fin-… Adam…’’ I whispered out to him, ‘’Wha…what are you doing?’’ I managed to ask out to him quietly as I felt his breath tickling the back of my neck before the feeling of his hands ran down the top of my arms.
‘’Ad…Adam’’ I whispered out to him again after a few moments of silence again, I breathed out a little before I turned around and moved my hands up before I felt his chest and lightly placed them against it as I felt his hands move to my waist and slowly pull me closer to him.
‘Next to the crowd
you hold on tighter
and my fear disappears.’
Adam was still keeping quiet as I breathed out, my heart racing against my chest as I listened to the soft sounds of him breathing, he softly reached out and took my wrist in to his hand before he started to move and I let myself follow him until the click of a door shut behind us and I felt myself being guided back until I felt a object behind my knees. I swallowed a little before I slowly sat down, Adam’s finger tips trailing up over my bare arms, leaving small trails of fire along my skin before I felt them tilt my head up, the faint moon light coming in to the room, shining off his eyes as I looked up at him.
I swallowed quickly before I let my lips part a little, my throat suddenly feeling dry as I watched him lower down until he was knelt in front of me, his hands laying on my thighs before I felt his fingers start to lightly stroke through them and against my skin.
Before I could think about saying anything, I felt him lean up and lightly press his lips against mine as my hands quickly found his shoulders and slid around until one knotted in to his hair and my other laid flat out against his back, with small movements, Adam, picked me up softly again before he moved me further up the bed and slowly lowered his body down over mine as our lips stayed together in a kiss which we both knew we meant, this time none of us was drunk...I was just hung over from the booze and now I was getting high from the kisses and the smell of Adam.
Again, Feed back would be great :) It lets me know if I need to make any improvements or not, :) Thank you for reading and I will post more chapters soon.
Chapter 9: Your touch is driving me crazy.
Letting my fingers slide through his soft hair, I breathed out deeply as I arched up in to his touch, our lips pressed against each other hard before I felt his teeth nip at my lower lip before I slowly parted my own, his tongue tasting along my lower lip before it slipped past and let the tip brush over mine. I slipped my hand down his arm before moving it around on to his chest as I gripped at his shirt, tugging him closer to me as I moved my leg up a little as he fell closer against me.
‘’Adam’’ I breathed out to him as I felt his lips leave mine quickly for the both of us to breath and get some air, his breath hot against my cheek as his lips brushed over it, my eyes fallen shut again as I took a deep breath against him.
‘’I like you Tommy, I really do’’ He whispered out to me and I felt my heart skip a few beats before I nodded through the darkness and ran my hands down his chest to his stomach slowly. ‘’I know with everything in school and with all the bullying, I always liked you’’ He admitted to me before he shifted a little and I bit my lip as I felt him drag across my thigh a little, a soft sharp breath leaving my battered lips.
‘’Say something’’ He whispered to me, his breath tickling my cheek as I opened my eyes and turned a little, my lips finding his in the darkness again as I pushed my body up against his.
Kissing him deeply I ran my hands back up on to his chest again as I pushed him away and on to the bed beside me before I moved and straddled his waist, my hands gripping the front of his shirt again as I felt his on my hips.
‘’I...I…uh think...I might…just love you’’ I breathed out to him before I swallowed a little and waited for his reply in the darkness, my heart beaten against my chest as I felt his hands leave my body before he shifted so he was sat up, my legs either side of his waist as I ran my hands up around his neck softly. I felt like I had ruined everything by saying it too him but I didn’t want to lie to him anymore, letting a soft breath out, I felt a soft touch against my jaw, lifting my head slightly as I looked at him though the darkness before he moved and flicked his bedside lamp on, the light blinding me slightly before they got used to it and I looked back at him to find him staring at me still with a small smile on his lips.
I blushed deeply and lowered my eyes again as I felt Adam slip his hand along my jaw again and down on to my neck before his other hand moved around my waist and pulled me closer to him, my eyes snapping back up to his face as he rested his forehead against mine, he just sat there smiling at me before he moved and crashed his lips back against mine again as his hand slipped up in to my hair and gently tugged on it as he kissed me harder, lips parting under his weight and against the feeling of his tongue.
Slowly Adam’s hands started to move around my body, just touching and feeling over every little curve of my chest and stomach as they slipped over my skin, goose bumps being left in their wake before they settled against my body, one on my chest and the other against my stomach as he started to slowly pull away from my lips and let his eyes move over me slowly before returning to my face as he lent forward again and pressed light kisses against my shoulder, working his way towards my neck.
Letting my eyes close under the feeling of Adam’s lips, I tilted my head slightly so he had more room against my neck, a soft groan escaping my lips as I felt his teeth graze against my skin which in turn caused him to softly chuckle against my skin, making me blush deeply. ‘’Your adorable Tommy’’ Adam whispered out to me against my skin, I wanted to say something back to him but my mind seemed to go blank as I felt him bite down on to my skin and softly suck against it before I let a soft moan out.
At some point between the soft moan escaping my lips to him pressing his lips back against mine, he had managed to turn the light off again and had me laid back on the bed again, his body slotted between my legs as I ran my hands down his back and pulled him closer before I curled my legs around his a little, a soft blush moving over my cheeks.
The feeling of Adam’s body against mine was amazing and I knew that in the back of my mind that this was going to be something which we would have to talk about or even hide from other people but at the moment I only cared for the boy who had me currently pin under his own body and in his bed. The small amount of skin I could feel was soft on the back of his neck and I wanted to feel more of it, I didn’t want just his neck and arms, I wanted his whole chest and whole body against me, slowly I started to pull his shirt up from his back until he got the idea and pulled away from me just long enough to tug it up over his head and let it fall away in to the darkness of the floor before his lips came back against mine and my hands travelled down over his now bare back.
Running my hands over his back, I slowly dragged my hands up over his shoulders before trailing them down his chest slowly and lightly, I felt his body shiver against my touch and I parted my lips a little before I ran my tongue over his lip before I felt him open his mouth and let me have entrance, for a few seconds we both battled for leadership before he won and I let myself fall under his lead again as I gripped his hips softly in my hands.
Tilting my head back against the pillows, I let my eyes close and body arch up in to Adam’s as he started kiss down my neck again and slowly down on to my chest, his lips leaving burning sensations over every inch of skin he moved his lips over. Breathing out deeply I ran my hand up in to his hair again and tugged lightly as I felt him nip at my soft skin, opening my eyes I looked down at him in the darkness a little as I parted my lips and breathed out deeply as he kept kissing lower and lower until he reached the waist band of the sweat pants which I was wearing before he started to very slowly kiss down over, my lip catching between my teeth again as I leaned my head back.
He was starting to drive me crazy with ever touch he made over me, my breathing started to pick up a little more as a deeper blush was filling out over my cheeks at the thought of him touching me so closely with only two layers of fabric keeping his lips apart from my growing hardness. His lips parted over my growing length under my pants and I threw my head back in to the pillows again as a low groan rumbled through my throat and my hand tightened in his hair slightly. Seconds later I felt his breath against my stomach again as his finger tips curled around my pants and started to slowly draw them down, breathing out deeply I lifted my hips slightly as I felt them slip down before I lowered my body back down on to the comfort of Adam’s bed again before I felt his lips trail down along my inner thigh slowly. Running my fingers through his hair slowly I let my hand fall away before I moved my arms up over my head slightly and gripped on to the pillows as his warm mouth move over my skin slowly and teasingly.
Taking a sharp breath in, Adam’s lips slowly trailed up over my hardened length my hand reaching down and tangling in to his hair again, tongue running over my throbbing member and dragging another moan from my lips as I arched up, one of his large hands moving up and pressing my hips down in to the bed to stop me from moving as he started to work his mouth over me slowly before he started to work over me a little faster.
Moaning out his name I tugged on his hair hard as I felt myself pulse and then release in to his hot mouth, eyes shut hard and lip caught between my teeth again as I breathed out deeply and slowly let my hand fall away from his hair.
‘’Tommy…’’ Adam breathed out in to my ear, his body pressed against mine even before I felt him move away from where he was, he nudged my cheek softly with his nose before pressing his lips softly against mine where I greedily kissed him back, my arms wrapping up around his neck as I pulled him closer to me. Slowly I started to pull away from the kiss to breathe out and look up at him in the darkness slightly, which little light we had shone brightly off his eyes as I traced his jaw line with my finger tips.
There was a silence over us for a while as my breathing started to get back to normal, his face buried against the crook of my neck where he was lightly kissing my skin, ‘’I want you’’ He whispered out in to my ear and I felt my body freeze up slightly at his words as he kept kissing up to my ear, his teeth lightly tugging on the little silver hoops which lined it. ‘’Only if you let me’’ He whispered out to me and I ran my finger tips down his chest before I lightly licked my dry lips as I thought about it.
‘’I want you too’’ I spoke back to him lightly, my voice low from being quiet for so long before I felt him move over me slightly and the sound of a drawer being opened before he searched around for something, it wasn’t long before he was pulling me down the bed a little more again and I heard and felt him shuffle around trying to get out of his pants before he was kneeling between my knees again, his lips pressed softly against my stomach sucking a little as the sound of a cap was opened and the soft squelch of the lube being poured on to his fingers.
A soft hand ran down my leg gently before he moved it out a little, his lips pressing back against mine as I let my fingers tangle back in to his hair again, feeling the coldness press against me, I flinched a little before I willed myself to relax again knowing that it would hurt more if I didn’t, nipping softly at his lip a I let a soft groan out against his lips as Adam started to slowly and lightly press his finger past my tight ring.
‘’Stop me if I hurt you’’ Adam’s voice rang out to me quietly as his lips pulled away from mine and I nodded softly as I ran my hand through his hair softly and laid it on the back of his neck.
‘’Im sorry for ever hurting you’’ I breathed out to him with a small groan again before I arched my body up in to his as I felt his finger push further in before he stopped and then started to slowly move it in and out at a gentle pace, he chuckled softly above me.
It was a few moments later before I felt his body move away from mine, his fingers slowly sliding out of my hole as I breathed out deeply, my own hands running up over my chest before running through my hair as the sound of a packet being opened echoed in the silence, a few deep breaths later from the both off us I felt his hands press down on the bed either side of my waist as I Adam’s head press against me, my legs softly wrapping around his waist as he slowly pressed in to me, my body arching to his touch as his lips came to press against my shoulder.
‘’Adam’’ I breathed out to him deeply as I gripped at his body at the sudden feeling of being filled as he pushed his way in to me until his hips rested against my skin, my breath shaky as I tried to find my mind at first. Softly Adam nuzzled his lips and nose against the skin of my neck, softly nipping and licking over as he started to slowly pull out before pushing back in again, his own breathing starting to get heavy in my left ear.
Chapter 10: Aftermath and bad news – Adam
This chapter is from Adam's point of view, decided to do it this way as I could write more detail about it all.
Please dont hate me for this chapter either, I hope you all like.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I could feel the sun starting to heat the room up as I stirred softly in my bed, the covers gliding over my naked body as I turned and slowly opened my eyes up to stare across at the figure laid next to me on his stomach., hair messed up and laying across his cheek from what I could see, I couldn’t help but smile at the memory of last night before I lightly bit my lip.
The room was silent apart from Tommy’s soft breathing, the covers was drawn up just over his ass, I couldn’t stop myself as I reached out and lightly trailed my fingertips from his shoulder down his spine slowly before I let them trace the small curve of his lower back with a gently smile, he still looked beautiful and he looked beautiful last night, breathing out I glanced out over the clock to see it was still early a little, shaking my head, I turned back and moved closer before wrapping my arm around his waist as I moved one of my legs back through his so my body was half on top of him before I felt him stir a little and turn over which caused the sheets to slip dangoursly low before his hand seemed to reach out and stop them.
Looking down at him, his eyes closed and lips slightly pouted as he turned in to my body and settled down again, I smiled lazily at him before I placed my hand against his chest and laid back next to him again as I let a gently breath out just watching him sleep for a while before I slowly slipped out of bed and pulled my boxers on again as I headed towards the bedroom door. Pausing I glanced back at the blonde sleeping boy in my bed before I walked out and ran a hand through my hair as I walked towards the stairs and slowly stepped down each step and towards the kitchen where a crash rang out and I jumped before quickly moving quicker towards it and pushed the door open to see Sutan stood in a mess of flour and eggs with an Brad equally covered in flour staring at each other before laughing and started to throw flour at each other, I cleared my voice slightly and they both turned and stared at me wide eyed before trying to look innocent.
‘So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears...
I need you, need you’
‘’Adam...I…Uhh thought you were still sleeping, we were going to bring you breakfast in bed’’ Brad tells me and I raised and eyebrow slightly before glancing over at Sutan who had his own eyebrow raised and was looking at my chest. I looked down at it to see a few scratches and I brought my hand up, running my palm over it as I looked back up.
‘’Well im awake now and I will have breakfast down here’’ I told them, still eyeing them before I grinned a little and turned around to walk back out.
‘’Happy birthday by the way Adam’’ I heard Brad call out and I laughed slightly before letting it fade and looked down, I had forgotten my own birthday with everything which had gone on, shaking my head I walked back up the stairs and towards the bathroom where I turned the shower on and walked back to my room to check on Tommy, glad that I had woken up now, this would not have gone down well with Brad. Seeing him still asleep, I smiled softly before walking over and crawled up the bed a little until I was laid above him with my knees either side his waist
‘’Tommy’’ I whispered out to him as he breathed out deeper and stirred a little under the touch of my hand against his cheek, I laughed softly before I ran my fingertips down his neck slowly before sitting back and watched as they started to slowly slide down his chest.
‘’Mhmm’’ He muttered out before shifting a little, my balance knocked of a little but I quickly found it again as I pressed my hands down in to the pillows either side of his head, my own lowered until I pressed my lips against his softly, a few seconds went by before I felt his own lips start to move back with mine before hands touched against my bare skin on my waist. Smiling I pulled away and looked down in to his warm brown eyes.
‘’Hey’’ I whispered with a smile as I reached up and brushed his hair out his eyes as he smiled sleepily,
‘’Hi’’ He whispered back to me as his arms moved around my waist more and he pulled me closer down to him, a soft laugh escaping my lips as I nuzzled my nose against his softly, lips pecking lightly at each others before I pulled away again and started to climb off him, ignoring the small groan coming from Tommy at the loss of contact.
‘’Im going for a shower, and you should get back to your own room before Brad walks in here or Sutan finds you missing, he already suspects something with you scratching my chest like you did last night’’ I tell him as I grabbed some clothes and looked back at him to see him sitting up now with a soft blush over his face.
‘’Sorry’’ He mumbled out to me and I couldn’t help but grin slightly, he was so adorable when he blushed.
‘’Don’t be’’ I tell him with a small smirk as I walked towards my door again, clothes in hand, ‘’Just make sure you get back to your room before your found in here’’ I tell him softly as he nodded and started to move around slightly, walking out my room, I pulled my door close behind me and walked towards the bathroom and inside before I stripped and got in to the shower.
‘’Ah come on guy’s, give it a rest’’ I laughed out as Brad and Sutan started to move everything out my reach, I shook my head with a grin as I picked my coffee up again before they could steal that and brought it to my lips and took a mouthful and sat back in my chair as the kitchen door was pushed open again and Tommy walked in, all our eyes turning to look at him before I felt a kick under the table and I winched before turning to look at Sutan as he raised his eyebrow again
‘’I was thinking we could all go out for a drink tonight’’ He told me and I shrugged a little before looking towards Brad as he turned his eyes away from Tommy who had now crossed the kitchen and was making himself a coffee, his eyes down on what his hands was doing.
‘’Sounds good’’ Brad answered before Sutan turned back to me and I sighed a little before nodding,
‘’Good, what about you Tommy? Are you, going to come along?’’ He asked and Brad stared at Sutan before I looked towards Tommy to see him looking up at Sutan surprised that he was invited along with us,
‘’Uh, sure’’ He breathed out carefully before he looked up and blushed a little to see me staring at him, turning away again, I looked back down at my book which was now back in front of me and skimmed a few pages before I closed it and stood up and walked over to where Tommy was and placed my own cup down again and started to make myself another coffee, my hands brushing over his slightly as I reached out for the milk.
‘’Sorry’’ I tell him with a small smile before he nodded and picked his drink up, carrying on with mine I breathed out and put the spoon in to the sink.
‘’What was Tommy doing here?’’I heard Brad’s voice ask out and I turned to see us alone in the kitchen and I shrugged a little as I lent against the counter.
‘’He lives here, he found the add in the paper and rang up about it a few days ago, I had forgotten all about it’’ I told him simply and he stared at me, I knew that he wasn’t happy about it, he had the same look in his eye from when he found us cuddling in my bed the first night Tommy had brought me home drunk again.
‘’Fine what ever dude, Im out of here’’ He tells me before getting up and threw his arms around me in a quick hug before he left and I breathed out a little before I turned and quickly headed out the kitchen and started to look for Sutan, which didn’t take long.
‘’Ow, no Sutan, stop it hurts…please’’ I heard Tommy’s voice shout out and I ran up the stairs and towards my room where his voice was coming from,
‘’Aww baby come on, it will hurt if you keep moving while im trying to put it in’’ Came Sutan’s voice and I stopped slightly, my heart crashing against my chest before I pushed my door open quickly and stepped inside to see them near my table. I glanced towards Tommy to see a few tears on his cheeks before I turned to look at Sutan who had a grin on his face.
‘’Oh honey, the look on your face is priceless’’ He told me before I relaxed a little and breathed out and ran my hand through my hair.
‘’What are you doing?’’ I asked once I finally found my voice and I glanced back towards Tommy who was pushing one of my drawers shut and then wiping his eyes.
‘’Nothing…we were doing nothing, right Tommy?’’ Sutan asked and Tommy quickly nodded before running out the room with a blush on his face. I raised an eyebrow and looked back to Sutan who was starting to walk towards the door before I grabbed his arm and pushed him back towards my desk and on to the seat.
‘’Spill’’ I told him and he grinned a little.
Five minutes later I knew everything which had happened and I couldn’t help but laugh softly before blushing once I knew that Sutan knew what went on between me and Tommy, turned out he had come in to see if I was awake or not and he saw our clothes over the floor before the two of us in my bed together.
‘’But anyway, get yourself sorted, your going to the hospital today whether you like it or not, you need to see your brother’’ Sutan told me and I breathed out deeply, it had been nearly a week since I last went and sat with him. Soon I was left alone in my room and I placed my empty cup down before I sat down on the end of my bed and held my head in my hands slightly.
‘’Adam’’ Came a whispered voice and I looked up slightly to see Tommy stood near the door, his hands on the handle lightly as he looked at me with a worried look, ‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked me and I lowered my eyes slightly before shaking my head no. Quickly I heard footsteps cross the room before Tommy’s arms came around my body as I felt the first few tears start to slide down my cheek. Leaning in to his hug, I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly before he stroked my back lightly.
‘’Sutan wants me to go see my brother today’’ I whispered out to him as I tried to wipe the tears away from my eyes but Tommy’s fingers got their first as I slowly looked up at him.
‘’Then go Adam, I know that your scared to be around him because of what happened but I know that your strong inside and you can get through this’’ Tommy told me as I sniffed a little and looked down at the floor. ‘’Just like I know you were strong enough to push everything between us behind and in to the past just so you could get to know me and to end up where we are now’’ He whispered to me and I let a tiny laugh out before I nodded slightly and smiled a little at him, ‘’Well that’s if you want to be something more’’ He asked and I smiled at him before leaning up a little and lightly pressed my lips against his as I moved my hand up on to his jaw, slowly I pulled away and smiled at him before taking his hand softly in mine.
‘’I want us to be more’’ I whispered to him as my eyes met his chocolate brown ones which seemed to shine a little at my words before he smiled and nodded to me.
‘’If we leave now for the hospital we can visit for a little bit before going back to school for the rest of the day’’ Tommy told me again and I breathed out again before looking down, ‘’I will come with you if you want me to Adam’’ He whispered and I nodded a little before looking up at his face again.
‘’Will you’’ I asked and he smiled before nodding, I breathed out and wiped my eyes again before I stood and held my hand out to him.
‘’Adam, it’s nice to see you again’’ The nurse told me and I nodded a little as squeezed Tommy’s hand lightly,
‘’How is he?’’ I asked her, my voice quiet as she looked at me with soft eyes before taking a small breath before she smiled sadly.
‘’Im afraid its not good news’’ She started and I looked down a little before back up again as she guided us towards another room away from people, sitting down, I watched as Tommy closed the door before sitting down next to me as the nurse sat across from us.
‘’While you were away, Neil had to go back down to surgery to try and fix some more injures which we didn’t know existed’’ She told us and I nodded a little and kept my eyes fixed on the floor in front of me. ‘’Things were looking better but he took a turn for the worse two nights again, we have been trying to get a hold of you but we haven’t been able too’’ She tells us and I nodded a little knowing that I had my phone turned off. ‘’It may not be long now Adam, im glad you came today to see him’’ She told me quietly and I nodded a little, Tommy’s hand coming to mine and squeezing softly. ‘’I’ll give you both a few minutes’’ The nurse told us before leaving.
‘’Adam, come on, you have to go in sooner or later’’ Tommy’s voice whispered out to me from the chair and I sighed deeply before slowly looking up at him, I really couldn’t think of anyone better to be with at the moment than him, because he knew what I was going through and what it was like to loose family.
‘’I know’’ I tell him softly before I stood and smiled at him, ‘’Thank you for coming with me Tommy’’ I tell him as he smiled and we both walked out the room and I started to lead him towards Neil’s room.
I glanced through the window slightly before I felt Tommy squeeze my hand and I looked up at him as he nodded towards the door, I smiled and kissed his cheek before he let my hand go and softly pushed me towards the room.
‘’I will let you have your time with him’’ He told me and I wanted to object but the look in his eyes made me nod and I slowly walked closer before opening the door and carefully stepped inside the quiet room, I glanced back to see Tommy running his hand through his hair before leaning against a wall with his eyes down before I turned back to look at the pale figure on the bed hooked up to wires and tubes, once again my heart sank a little.
‘’Hey Neil’’ I spoke out to him a little before I pulled the chair closer to his bed and sat down on it, a noise form outside the door pulled my attention to the open door still before I breathed out and turned back to my brother as I looked at him, my hand reached out and took his gently, ‘’Sorry I haven’t been to visit you lately, I just haven’t felt strong enough, sorry to fail you as your big brother’’ I tell him softly as I ran my thumb over the back of his hand with a small sigh as I looked up and over his body a little, there was still some cuts and bruises all over it but some had healed a little while others still looked brand new. I couldn’t help but shake my head slightly as I looked to his face and down to his hand again.
‘’You remember Tommy don’t you?’’ I asked him with a small smile, ‘’Well he’s moved in with me in the apartment mom and dad got me, I had placed and ad in the newspaper because I could afford the rent on my own and he found it’’ I tell him again softly before I sighed and lent on the bed slightly. ‘’We’ve kinder …well, you could say started to see each other, ‘’ I grinned out to him, ‘’I will ask him to be my boyfriend when the time comes but for now, im happy with what we have’’ I smiled again as I rested my chin in my free hand, ‘’He told me that he loved me Neil, of all the people ever to tell me that they love me, its Tommy’’ I whispered out to him happily, ‘’I never thought it would happen, I mean, all through school him and his group of friends would bully me, well they still do but its not as bad anymore, Neil he’s amazing, I mean really amazing, Tommy actually makes me smile and makes me happy’’ I tell him excitly.
I laughed softly to myself and I ran my and through my hair before moving my chin back to my hand again. Tilting my head slightly I looked up at him with a small sad smile, ‘’I wish you and mom and dad was still here, maybe we could’ve all gone out for dinner for my birthday and I could’ve invited Tommy to show you guys how kind and caring he really is’’ I sighed and looked down again before back up again. ‘’Wait, I want you to meet him Neil, really, Tommy is the nicest guy around and he understands me, he’s gone through the same thing, I know its not a nice thing to go through but he cares so much and he was the first person to talk to me after the accident and not actually ask how I was, he actually asked if I wanted to have a drink’’ I laughed and sniffed a little before wiping my eyes and let his hand go.
‘’Adam?’’ I turned slightly and looked towards the door to see Tommy stood there with a soft blush over his cheeks and I blushed myself,
‘’How much did you hear?’’ I asked him embarrassed slightly as I let my brother’s hand go and rubbed my eyes clear again.
‘’Enough to know that it’s your birthday’’ He told me a smile, and I laughed softly before nodding a little before I stood and walked over to him, taking his hand gently I pulled him over to the bed and pushed him in to the chair I was just sat in before I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands holding Tommy’s and Neil’s gently.
‘’Tommy, this is Neil, and Neil this is Tommy’’ I told them both with a smile as I looked up at Tommy with a smile which he returned before looking down at my brother.
‘’Hey Neil’’ He whispered out and I bit my lip softly before smiling and softly squeezed his hand, his eyes coming up to meet mine with a gently smile. ‘’You should’ve told me that it was your birthday today’’ Tommy told me and I shrugged a little before looking down at Neil again,
‘’I didn’t because, it don’t matter’’ I tell him with a sigh as I turned back to look at him with a shrug and he shook his head before standing up and lent over kissing me softly before he pulled away,
‘’We are going to celebrate it whether its today or tomorrow or even next week, its your birthday Adam’’ He tells me and I nodded a little with a smile. I watched as he lent down and kissed Neil’s cheek, ‘’It was nice meeting you Neil, Im sure you’re a good guy’’ He tells him before he pulled away again and smiled at me, ‘’Come on, we have to get going or we will be late for class’’ Tommy tells me and I smiled softly.
‘’I’ll be right out’’ I tell him,
‘’Alright, I will be outside’’ He whispered and kissed my cheek again before walking out, watching him go I breathed out softly before turning back to look at Neil again,
‘’See he isn’t that bad is he?’’ I asked him quietly before I stroked my thumb over his hand lightly, ‘’Well I have to get going now baby brother, still have to go to school’’ I tell him with a light laugh as I lent down, kissing his cheek softly before I pulled away, ‘’I promise to come back soon again’’ I tell him before I stood up and squeezed his hand lightly again before laying it back down beside him. Breathing out I turned and headed out his room before over to Tommy who wrapped his arms around me tightly.
‘’You did good Adam, you did real well today’’ He whispered to me and I looked up at him with a smile,
‘’only because I had you to help me Tommy’’ I tell him back as he blushed slightly and lowered his head, his hair fallen over to hide his face from me.
‘’I need Tommy’’ I cried out slightly as I felt the tears start to form more in my eyes as arms came to wrap around me, trying to sooth me.
‘’Adam baby, calm down please’’ Sutan tried to tell me as he rubbed his hand over my back, I shook my head before pushing him away and wiping my tears away before I started to run through the hallway, my bag hitting against my side as I fought though people and kept searching before I found Tommy in the food hall with everyone else in his gang, I knew that they would start saying something but I didn’t care at the moment.
As I entered, a few people looked at me as I ran my hands across my eyes again and took a deep breath before I started to walk further in to the room, up ahead I saw Tommy throw his head back in laughter slightly before he looked back again, his eyes glancing over me before back to his friends quickly before they returned, worry in them. I watched as he stood up quickly, his friends saying something to him and trying to hold him back before climbed over the tables and came running over to me, the two of us meeting in the middle before I fell in to his arms as they wrapped around me, my face buried in his neck.
‘’Adam, what’s wrong baby?’’ He whispered in to my ear as I gripped at the back of his shirt as my tears started to fall more.
‘’He’s gone…he’s gone and he’s never coming back, none of them are ever coming back’’ I sobbed out against his neck as he held me tighter, I knew a lot of people was staring, probably in shock and confusion at why I was hugging one of the guy’s who normally bullied me, most of all I knew that his friends were watching and trying to work it out too.
‘’Who’s gone baby?’’ He asked softly and I tried to stop my sobs before I found my voice again,
‘’Neil’’ I whispered out to him and I felt his arms tighten around me even more before he breathed out deeply,
‘’Everything will be alright Adam, I promise you that, it will be all right’’ He whispered to me and I nodded a little in to his neck as I stepped away a little to look up at him,
‘’I don’t want to stay here’’ I whispered to him and he nodded before reaching up and wiped the tears off from under my eyes with a small smile before he let me go, wrapping my arms around me a little, I bit my lip as I watched him walk back towards his friends before he ignored them and grabbed his bag and turned around and walked back to me, his arm coming around my waist before we turned around and started to walk back towards the doors.
As we walked down the hallway, I turned in to him more still trying to take no notice of the people staring at us as we walked together.
‘’We can go to Jake’s, he will let us have a few drinks and be alone’’ Tommy told me and I nodded, I didn’t really care where we went too, I just didn’t want to be in school. I still couldn’t believe that we had been to see him that morning and now he was gone. We paused at Tommy’s locker and I stayed lent against his side softly, my face buried in to his neck softly as I breathed out.
‘’I love you Tommy’’ I whispered out against his skin as I kept my eyes closed, his movement stopped slightly before his arm tightened around me and I felt his warm breath against my ear.
‘’I love you too Adam’’ He whispered out to me and I felt safe against him, breathing out, I looked up at him to see him looking down at me with a gentle smile.
A few hours later, we were both sat in the corner of Jake’s bar with my side lent in to Tommy’s softly, his arm around my body as I lifted another beer to my lips and started to drink it down fast before he pulled it away from me softly and placed it on the table.
‘’That’s enough Adam’’ He whispered to me and I breathed out before nodding, knowing that he was right. Turning slightly, I moved and climbed on to his lap before pressing my lips against his as his arms wrapped around my waist softly before he pulled away. ‘’You should go home Adam’’ Tommy told me and I sighed as I lent my forehead against his shoulder gently,
‘’but I don’t want to’’ I mumbled out to him and he chuckled softly before stroking my back, ‘’I want to stay with you, you make me forget everything’’ I told him as I started to lightly kiss his neck.
‘’Adam, I have to do a shift here tonight or I wont be able to pay my rent’’ He told me and I groaned against him softly before pulling away and stared in to his eyes.
‘’Fine’’ I muttered out to him before lightly pressing my lips back against his again and gripped the front of his shirt in my hands before pushing away softly and climbed off him before sitting down beside him again.
‘’I will call Sutan to come and get you baby’’ Tommy told me and I nodded a little before I watched him get up before walking across the bar floor to where Jake was before disappearing out of my sight as I lent my head back and closed my eyes.
Feed back is always good, and I hope your enjoying it so far and thank you for being patient with me :)
Chapter 11: Adam matters to me.
Sorry for being so long with this chapter, I had the idea in my head but I wasnt too sure how to write it all out so it flowed but I tried my best, so enjoy.
Oh and Merry Christmas, think of this chapter my early present to you wonderful readers :)
‘I’m so sick of living for other people
Took meeting you to realize
I don’t wanna lose ya, I wanna keep ya’
The moment I took to look up from laughing so hard and to glance around the semi packed lunch room made me stop and think about everything I was hiding away from myself and from the people around me, I looked around their laughing faces as we talked and joked around, it wasn’t me, I was being a person who hurt others and made other people feel so low, I got that now. Someone said something again before I felt a punch to my arm which brought me back to reality and I looked down.
‘’Tommy, are you even with us or are you too fixed up in your own little world?’’ One of the guys asked me, I still wasn’t sure of his name and I laughed a little and shook my head,
‘’Sorry, just thinking about things’’ I tell him as I tried my best to listen to what was going on, laughing softly again, I let my eyes scan around the room before I saw Adam half walking, half running in to the room, his head turning as if he was searching for someone before his eyes landed on mine and I could see the tears.
‘’Tommy?’’ My friends asked as I started to get up without thinking, before I knew it they were yelling at me to come back as I moved quickly towards Adam and wrapped my arms around him tightly, I could feel his tear stained face against my neck as I held him to my body.
‘’Adam, what’s wrong baby?’’ I found myself whispering to him as his hands came to clutch at the back of my shirt, my heart crashing against my chest a little as I could hear people whispering around us, and I couldn’t blame them, I mean the image of me holding Adam would be something no one would ever expect to happen in school.
‘’He’s gone…he’s gone and he’s never coming back, none of them are ever coming back’’ he cried out to me and I shut my eyes for a few seconds as I held him tighter and asked who, I knew in the back of my mind who he was talking about but part of me wish and hoped that it wouldn’t be true and that it was a friend of his or someone else, not his brother.
The next few moments seemed to pass by me in a blur as I told him that things were going to be okay and when I had returned to grab my bag, my so called friends asking me questions and trying to stop me from returning to him but I pushed them away and just ignored them before I had returned to Adam’s side and my arm had wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to my body as we started to walk through the halls.
I suggested about going to Jake’s bar and having a few drinks to be alone, I knew that it was a stupid idea and place to go but I couldn’t think of anything else.
It had been a few hours and I still couldn’t let it sink in to my mind that Adam’s brother was really gone and that it was only him now, it hurt me more knowing that it was his birthday and that all thoughts of celebrating it was gone out the window but I knew that I had to stay strong for Adam.
‘’Hey, Sutan its Tommy, can you come and get Adam and take him home?’’ I asked him before there was a short spell of silence and a deep sigh before he replied.
‘’He likes you a lot Tommy, just don’t screw him around’’ Was the last thing to be said to me before the line went dead and I put the phone down and rested my forehead against the cold wall of the back room.
‘’Tommy,’’ Came a soft voice and I opened my eyes before tilting my head slightly to see Jake stood in the doorway watching me with a worried expression on his face, ’’You okay?’’ He asked and I breathed out deeply and nodded to him before pushing away from the wall.
‘’I will start my shift as soon as I know Adam is safe and sound with his friend and on the way home’’ I tell him and he nodded in understandment.
‘’Go and just be with him tonight’’ Jake told me and I shook my head as I pulled my hoody off and held it in my hands slightly, just looking down at it.
‘’I met his brother for the first time this morning, the first time I had seen him and not got a glare from across the hall from him, just over hearing the things which Adam said to Neil about me actually broke me a little, softened me even more you could say and I was actually hoping like hell for Neil to get better, to fight through all this shit and be strong like I know the Lambert brothers are but when I saw Adam in that lunch room today…’’ I started saying before I trailed off and looked up at Jake, ‘’It was like I was a whole new person, I felt like I had wasted most of my life in trying to make others feel bad about themselves when in fact I was the one who was feeling bad about himself and hiding the truth’’ I tell him before I let a soft smile curl the edge of my lips, ‘’Adam even told me he loved me today, it shocked me because I didn’t think he felt the same way, I told him that I thought I might of loved him last night when…well yeah just leave it at last night’’ I told him with a soft laugh before I shook my head and sighed softly. ‘’I should get back out to him’’ I told Jake who nodded with a smile, walking past him, I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him.
‘’I can see your in love with him Tommy just by the way you have been looking at him tonight’’ He told me and I smiled before walking back over to where Adam was half laid on the bench with his eyes closed.
‘’Baby’’ I whispered to him as I gently shook his shoulder and he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at me, a soft smile forming on my lips as I lent down and brushed a kiss across his before I lifted him up until he was standing. ‘’Put this on, I know it might be a little tight because im smaller than you but it will keep you warm’’ I tell him as I held my hoody out and he stared at me before the piece of clothing in my hand, his own slowly reaching out for it before he struggled a little and with my help a few moments later he had it on over his own sweater and I had my arm around him and leading him towards the doors so we could wait for Sutan outside.
‘I, I just love you. I don't know why; I just do...
When are you comin' home?"
I'm comin' home soon; and I just love you too’
‘’Your wonderful Tommy-Joe’’ Adam whispered in to my ear as I held him up straight and his arms wrapped around my neck, I smiled at him before nodding a little.
‘’So are you Adam, your wonderful and strong and beautiful’’ I found myself saying back to him as I looked up in to his blue eyes which was filled with sorrow and love and other emotions, slowly he leaned down until his lips was pressed against mine and I kissed him slowly before a car horn broke us apart and I looked over to see Sutan looking up at us from where he stood half out the car, giving him a sheepish smile I turned back to Adam who was softly swaying on his feet. I let a soft laugh out before I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to the car before opening the door and helped him inside, before strapping him in and shut the door again.
‘’Take care of him will you?’’ I asked Sutan and he raised an eyebrow slightly at me before he nodded,
‘’don’t you worry Tommy, I’ve dealt with an drunk Adam before’’ He tells me before getting inside, breathing out I lent on the door and looked in at Adam with a soft sigh before I lent forward and kissed his cheek lightly before pulling away,
‘’Get some sleep Adam’’ I whispered to him as he smiled up at me and nodded himself, stepping away from the car, I watched them drive off until I couldn’t see them anymore and ran a hand though my hair as I breathed out deeply, turning I walked back inside the bar and looked around for Jake before sliding myself in behind the bar before I started to serve people.
It had been a few hours since Adam had been taken home and I was lent on the bar before I heard my phone ring, pulling it out my pocket I looked around the half empty and quiet bar before I answered and held it to my ear.
‘’Hello?’’ I asked quietly in to the phone as I yawned and rubbed my hand over my eyes a little.
‘’I miss you’’ Came a reply and I knew straight away that it was Adam, a small smile formed my lips softly.
‘’Adam baby why aren’t you asleep?’’ I spoke in to the phone quietly with a small smile as I lent against the bar again and let my eyes glance around before they fell back down to the surface of the bar as my fingertips played around with the edge of the beer mat.
‘’I wanted to tell you something Tommy’’ His voice was low and rough as if he had only just woken up from the few hours of sleep he had already gotten. ‘’Will you listen?’’ He asked and I smiled softly.
‘’Of course I will baby,’’ I tell him back as I shifted and walked towards the end of the bar where I grabbed myself a beer and walked around and headed towards the seats before I softly sat down and lent back. On the other end I could hear him take a deep breath before there was movement as he moved around,
‘’I… I just love you. I don’t know why, I just do’’ He told me and I smiled softly as I took a sip from my beer and placed it back down on the table in front of me again,
‘’I love you too’’ I whispered back to him and I heard a soft laugh on the other end before the sound of bed covers being moved around. Hearing the door of the pub open and people laugh out, I lifted my eyes and looked towards to see some of my so called friends walking in and I breathed out a little as I looked back down.
‘’When are you coming home baby?’’ Adam’s voice asked me and I smiled softly again as I sat back and just listened to the soft breath’s coming from the other end of the phone.
‘’Im coming home soon’’ I tell him gently as I brought my beer back to my lips again and looked up to see them walking towards me, ‘’Baby, I have to go, im still on my shift and my break’s nearly over’’ I tell him before a soft groan came from the other end.
‘’Hurry back soon Tommy’’ He breathed out to me deeply and I swallowed a little and grinned,
‘’I will, now you go back to sleep and I will be there when you wake again’’ I tell him before he mumbled something and the phone went dead.
‘’Hey Ratliff’’ His words came out slurred as I pulled my beer back to my lips and looked up at the leader of the gang and the guy who bullied Adam and others the most.
‘’Mike’’ I tell him with a slight nod as I stood and pushed my phone in to my pocket and started to walk around the table and back towards the bar,
‘’Come back here when im talking to you Ratliff’’ His voice slurred out louder to me and I paused slightly before turned to face him.
‘’If you don’t mind, I have a job I need to finish before going home to sleep’’ I told him before he laughed and stumbled a little towards me.
‘’Are you a queer like that Lambert loser?’’ He laughed out as he poked his slightly chubby finger in to my chest, knocking me back a step a little as I breathed out deeply.
‘’So what if I am, what are you going to do about it?’’ I questioned him, I could read it in his face a little that I had stunned him with my reply, something which he wasn’t ready for just yet.
‘’Faggot’’ He breathed out to me as I turned and walked towards the bar again, I shook my head and put the bottle down before looking up to see Jake staring at me with worried eyes.
‘’Why do you care so much about a loser anyway Tommy? I thought you hated the guy’’ Mike slurred out loudly to me and I turned to stay back at him before I took a few steps closer and pushed my hand in to his chest, pushing him back slightly.
‘’Adam is his name and he matters to me because I love him and because I know the shit he is going through, he lost his parents not long ago and now he has just lost his brother on his fucking birthday’’ I sneered out to him, each moment I stepped closer to him and he backed away from me, ‘’I thought I hated him but then I took the time to get to know him, watched him in classes and hallways, the shit you have put him through and other people fucks with their mind’s and emotions, you really don’t know how many people your hurting with your fucking bullshit Mike’’ I yelled at him, his eyes wide as he looked back at me. ‘’So before you even open that fucking mouth of yours, think because your picking a fight with the wrong fucking guy’’ I yelled at him again before he stumbled over a stool and fell backwards in to his other friends.
Turning around, I breathed out and unclenched my hands as I slipped back in behind the bar and grabbed my beer bottle again and took a swig as I walked towards Jake, his hand settling on my shoulder as I looked at him.
‘’Thank you for not throwing any punches like you would normally do Tommy’’ He whispered to me and I couldn’t help but let a soft laugh out and a nod as I walked in to the back room and started to find the paper work for the stock take.
‘’Are you sure that you don’t want a lift home Tommy?’’ Jake asked as he pulled the door closed behind him and started to lock everything up as I turned a little and looked towards him as I fixed my scarf around my neck a little more to keep the cold out.
‘’No, it’s fine, I wanna walk and clear my head a little with everything which has gone on today’’ I tell him and he smiled at me before nodding.
‘’Just go careful alright boy’’ Jake told me and I laughed slightly before nodding, saying out goodbyes, I watched him drive off in his truck before I turned and started to walk down the empty street, the coldness nipping at any exposed skin which was showing.
Breathing out deeply, I turned the corner of the main street and pulled my phone out as a car past, glancing up I quickly looked down again as I started to dial the Adam’s number.
‘’Hello’’ I frowned slightly as another voice came from the other side which wasn’t Adam’s,
‘’Sutan?’’ I asked, slightly unsure before a soft laugh came from his side.
‘’Yeah, Adam’s asleep, he left his phone on the kitchen table, is everything okay Tommy you sound pretty worried’’ He asked and I breathed out a little as I looked around the dark street.
‘’Oh right, that’s good then, nah im fine just walking home, I guess the dark is just freaking the fuck out of me a little’’ I breathed out to him as I jumped as a car passed me.
‘’Do you want me to come meet you anywhere?’’ He asked and I laughed again
‘’Thanks but I will be fi-…’’ I started to say before I felt myself fallen towards the ground, my phone sliding across the tarmac a few feet from me as I let a groan out.
‘’What the fuck’’ I groaned out as I grabbed the back of my head and rolled over on to my back, the throbbing appearing instantly as I breathed out and opened my eyes just to close them again from the brightness.
‘’Queers aren’t needed around here’’ A voice came out muffled before I felt an impact against my side causing me to double over slightly. I let a loud noise escape my mouth again as hits kept coming from all sides,
‘’Please just leave me the fuck alone’’ I managed to yell out as a slight choke, tears starting to form in my eyes as I tried to curl up as small as I could to stop the impacts from hurting.
‘’Hell no, we are only just getting started’’ The muffled voice came again before I started to feel myself feel black out slightly. ‘’Aww, the little faggot isn’t even trying to put up a fight, maybe he doesn’t want to be gay’’ the voice sounded further away this time and I had no idea of how long I had been laid on the ground being hit and kicked before a numbness rushed over me and I felt everything fade away from me.
‘’Tommy, wake up baby, please wake up’’ Came a murmured voice as I felt a cold hand press against my cheek before their fingers moving up to brush my hair away from my face and eyes, ‘’Tommy’’ Came the voice again but louder this time as I moved a little before crying out in pain as I clutched at my sides and tried to curl up slightly. ‘’Shit, shit, shit… I should’ve told you to stay by the bar and I would’ve picked you up’’ Came the voice again and I recognized it to be Sutan’s.
‘’Sutan’’ I whispered out slightly before I felt a hand move down over mine and heard a few grumbled remarks.
‘’Yeah it’s me Tommy, come on you have to help me here too boy’’ He told me before I felt him move my arm around his neck before he started to lift me, pushing up from the ground, I whimpered a little until I was stood and he helped me over to the car and inside before he crouched down beside the open door and looked up at me. ‘’What happened? I mean you were talking and then all I heard was a bang and a few crashes before voices and I panicked and just grabbed the keys and came looking for you’’ He told me and I curled my arm around my waist before nodding.
‘’They…I … I got jumped’’ I breathed out to him as I lent my head back against the car seat and closed my eyes, ‘’the joys of being gay’’ I breathed out again before he sighed and the door came to a soft shut.
Before long, the car was moving again and it wasn’t long before we were parked up outside the apartment again.
‘’You know, Adam will want to know who done this to you Tommy don’t you?’’ He asked as he helped me out the car and I sighed softly before nodding,
‘’I know, but just let him sleep for now, he don’t need my trouble on top of his loss’’ I whispered softly as I pushed the door open and walked inside quietly. Watching as Sutan headed towards the kitchen I shook my head slightly knowing that he was starting to gather a few things to clean me up with as I headed towards the stairs and slipped in to my own room where I started to slowly and carefully undress until I was in just my boxers and laid out on my bed.
‘’You so owe me everything for this’’ Sutan told me once he had come in and shut the door behind him so we wouldn’t wake Adam up from the sleep which he really needed.
‘’I know, im just grateful that you are being so friendly to me after everything I had put you guys and Adam through in the past in school and places’’ I told him quietly as he sat on the edge of my bed and smiled at me as he ran a damp cloth over my cheek a little before my lower lip.
‘’Well Adam is like a brother to me and if you make him happy, then im happy because that’s all I want for him darling’’ He told me and I laughed softly before winching and moved my hand up over my side a little to hold.
‘’We have to do something for his birthday, I know that he’s not going to want to because of loosing his brother on it but we cant let him miss out, maybe we could throw him a little party with a few friends here or something?’’ I suggested to Sutan as he worked the cloth over my body slowly to remove all the dirt and dry blood before pressing an ice pack against my ribs.
‘’I think that sounds like a wonderful idea Tommy, but for now, just get some sleep and try not to strain or get in to any more trouble’’ He told me and I grinned a little before slipping myself down my bed a little more and pulled the covers over me tightly.
‘’Night Sutan’’ I whispered out to him as I watched him slip out my room, quietly closing the door behind him and left me in darkness to my thoughts.
Chapter 12: In the middle of September, we still played out in the rain… Adam.
Again, this chapter is from Adam point of view, I thought it would make it seem a little more better again with what's going on in this chapter.
‘’Who done it?’’I yelled out at Sutan as he sat calmly at the other side of coffee table on the chair, a cup of coffee nestled in to his hands softly as he looked up at me and sighed.
‘’Adam for the fifth time, I don’t know how hurt him, trust me if I did I would’ve done something about it’’ He told me as I paced and held my throbbing head in my hands a little before I flopped down on couch and lent backwards, with a soft groan.
‘’I cant believe he got hurt, its my fault, I know it…Tommy got hurt because of me’’ I muttered out before I opened my eyes and looked towards Sutan who looked back at me with a small smile before he stood up and walked over next to me.
‘’Adam, just take a deep breath and relax, Its not your fault and Im sure he knew what he was getting himself in to yesterday when you went running to him, he basically outted himself in front of everyone who’s been his whole school life just to be there for you when you needed him the most.’’ He told me softly, his hand coming to rest on my thigh friendly. ‘’He was with all his friends and he could’ve just ignored you and pretended that you weren’t there but he didn’t babe, he saw you and he moved right away and held you while you cried in to his neck’’ Sutan told me and I sighed a little before looking down. ‘’So none of this is your fault, Tommy knew what he was doing but he done it anyway because he loves you Adam’’ I nodded a little and looked down at my hands before I looked back up at him gain.
‘’I really do care about him and I keep finding myself falling in love more and more with him each time he smiles at me’’ I told him with a soft laugh before a soft curse made us both turn towards the door, standing up I walked over and opened the door to see Tommy sat on the second step up from the bottom, his slender fingers picking up the few bits of bread which I was guessing was on the plate which sat on his lap before he looked up to see me stood watching him.
‘’Hey’’ I watched as he blushed slightly and looked away again before he finished picking the food up before started to slowly stand, stepping over quickly, I held my hands out to him and smiled sadly at him before he blushed deeper and took them to help stand.
‘’Hi’’ He whispered back to me and I smiled before pulling him in to my body and held him softly, his arm slowly wrapping around me before he pulled away and looked up. ‘’Sorry if I disturbed you’’ His voice was soft and I couldn’t help but grin and shake my head.
‘’You didn’t, look go and sit down and I will clear this lot up and get you a hot chocolate and a blanket, you can pick the film’’ I told him and he nodded with a smile.
‘’I think you just made a mistake for letting me do that’’ Tommy told me before leaning up and kissed my jaw softly before he turned and walked in to the living room, the small smile on my lips still as I looked back down at the plate I had taken from him and headed in to the kitchen.
‘’Oh my god, how can you watch this?’’ I shrieked out slightly as another splash of blood moved across the other seemingly clean white wall in the film, which caused a soft laugh to escape his lips as his body shifted and he glanced up from where his head laid in my lap.
‘’We don’t have to watch any more if it’s making you feel ill or anything’’ He told me in a soft voice as I looked down at him and ran my fingers gently through his hair, a smile forming on my lips instantly just at the sight of his.
‘’I will live though it cause I have you by my side’’ I told him back in a light whisper which caused him to blush lightly and grin before he turned his head back towards the screen, leaving my own eyes to stare down at the blonde boy who was using my lap as a pillow, perfect black tipped nails running through his hair as I gently sighed happily and looked up to the tv screen.
‘’What if I told you
that’s its just a front
to hide the insecurities I have
What if I told you
that im not as strong?
As I like to make believe I am?’’
I wasn’t sure how long it had been since I felt Tommy move in my lap but I didn’t mind, my own body was comfortable with the way we were together on the couch, my fingers still combing though his hair as we watched the rest of the film in silence, my eyes slowly getting heavy and hand moving slower as I shifted again and woke myself up.
‘’Hey,’’ I looked down to see Tommy staring up at me with a soft smile which I returned to him before leaning down and lightly brushed a kiss across his lips before I sat back up again.
‘’The film finished’’ He whispered to me and I looked back up to see the credits rolling up the screen and I shook my head slightly before nodding.
‘’Alright, I will take the DVD out’’ I told him before we both shifted and Tommy sat up for me to stand and walk across the room to where the tv sat, changing DVDs over to one of mine, I stood back up and stretched a little before I lent back down and pressed play before returning to the couch and laid down on it, it wasn’t long before Tommy moved and pulled my arm up and shuffled closer in to my side and laid his head on my chest as my other arm pulled the covers up around us more as I held him close with my other.
I could feel the soft touch of Tommy’s finger tips as they slowly moved over my chest in small patterns which felt relaxing, turning my head slightly to look down at him, I ran my fingers over his side lightly for a while before he looked up at me with wide brown eyes as he realized that I had been watching him for the past few minutes as he drew over my chest with his touch.
‘’Your so beautiful’’ I whispered to him as a soft shade of pink flushed over his pale skin, creeping up over his perfectly shaped jaw and cheek bones before it faded away and his chocolate brown eyes stared up at me like he were hanging on to every word I said to him, the words imprinting in to his mind, being locked away for a day when I wasn’t there to tell him it.
Moving gently against him and the old couch, I moved until I was laying face to face with him, my hands moving to his as I let my eyes follow my fingers as I slowly moved them between Tommy’s and held his hands tightly before I looked back up in to his eyes, as I stared at him I knew that this was always what I had wanted, I had always wanted to be in love with someone who understood me and who knew me for all my little flaws and imperfections like Tommy did.
I knew that it had taken a lot of courage to do what he had done in the school food hall and it made me fall deeper in love with the blonde haired boy who’s own eyes was slowly trailing over our laced hands before they moved up to join mine in a soft stare, the new film which I had put on being lost in the background as we laid together in the soft silence which was only broken by the soft music coming from the tv screen across the room and our soft breaths as I leant forward and softly rested my forehead against his and smiled, a smile which was reflected back at me by his own lips as his thumb came to rub soft circles on to the back of my hand.
And thoughts which my body had about sleeping seemed to have disappeared quickly and now all my mind was wanting to think about was Tommy Joe Ratliff, the boy who held so many mysteries to me and who had bullied me most of my high school life yet at the same time he was the boy who had held my heart so tenderly inside his own body and it took a tragedy for the emotions and feelings to be let go and for us both to follow what our hearts truly wanted and I knew deep down inside that he was a good person and that he truly never meant to cause me so much harm and hate.
Letting a deep breath escape my lips I slowly moved away from him and let one of his hands go, just to trail my fingers over the top of it and slowly along his arm before I rested it on his shoulder briefly before I started to slowly trace it down over his chest and thin top before I slipped them down over his stomach until I reached the hem of his shirt and my eyes flickered back up to his as I slowly moved up and he moved with me before I carefully helped to pull his shirt up and over his head where I discarded it down on to the floor behind me before we laid back on our sides and I let my fingers moved back to his shoulder again where I started to slowly trace a path down over to his neck before slowly down over his collar bone until I reached the start of one of the bruises which lined his pale body. I took in the soft shudder of his body as I lightly traced the tip of my finger further along the edge of the dark colored patch before I lightly brushed over it with my fingers before I moved forward and pressed a soft kiss to it, for a few minutes I took my time to slowly trace each bruise on his small frame with my fingers before I followed them with my lips, there was nothing sexual between us as I finally settled back in front of him and I pressed my hand firmly against his chest as I looked back in to his eyes, which was filled with an new emotion which I had never seen before.
‘’I love you’’ Came from Tommy softly and I smiled as I lent closer and lightly brushed my lips over his again before I pulled him in to a gently hug and closed my eyes as I buried my cheek against his hair gently, his own arm moving around my waist.
‘’Adam come on, its pouring it down with rain and you have a show to get too in ten minutes or your going to be late’’ Brad had shouted from the car as I stood in the rain, my eyes trained across the empty parking lot where I had been standing, I could see the brown eyes staring back at me from the gap between the wall from where the gang had ran quickly when Brad had pulled up with the car, yet I still held Tommy’s glaze before someone shouted and he quickly turned and vanished just like each drop of rain which fell on the ground.
‘’Adam’’ Came Brad’s voice again and I turned to look at him in the car before looking back across the lot. I sighed and turned quickly, my body pulling the car door open before I slipped in to the warmth and I ran my sleeves over my eyes trying to stop the tears which had mixed with the rain.
‘’What happened?’’ Brad asked as he started to pull away and I looked over at him before I shook my head and lent against the car window, watching as the late September rain fell down heavily.
‘’Nothing’’ I managed to whisper out to him as I curled my arm around my waist and brought a boot covered heel up on to the seat a little, ignoring the roaring pain which was running through my torso from the harsh beating the gang had thrown to me, but all the time I could see Tommy stood away from the group a little, his eyes staring at the ground before quickly flicking up each time a cry came from my mouth. I was thank full for Brad showing up, I wasn’t sure what would’ve happened if his car headlights hadn’t scared them off but I knew that they would just pick up where they left the next day in school, to leave more bruises covering my body.
I sighed deeply at the memory, of how many times I was left with similar bruises which covered my body like they were now covering Tommy’s.
‘’I love you too’’ I whispered back to him as I ran my fingers through his hair and rested my hand on the back of his neck as his shallow breath told me that he had quickly fallen asleep. Softly petting the back of his neck with my finger tips, I glanced down at the mass of blonde hair which covered my chest and smiled at the feeling of his warm breath against my clothed body, trailing my hand lightly over his arm, I carefully moved him off me and laid him down before I got up and pulled the covers over his body softly and stared down at him before I crouched and placed a light kiss against his forehead before I left and wondered in to the kitchen bare footed and started to look through the cupboards and fridge for something for lunch.
‘I’ve practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I’ve got it all down
And as I’m singing louder, I love how it sounds
‘Cause I’m not taking the easy way out
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn’t have to give a reason why’
I looked down at the mess I had left on the front of my shirt before I tucked my hands under the hem and pulled it up and over my boy before I put it in for wash and started to head out towards the stairs when the front door open and Sutan came walking in with Brad and Monte, my heart skipping a few beats as I looked up with a panic look and stepped forward a couple more steps before I pulled the living room door shut fully and looked back towards them.
‘’Sorry, is he sleeping?’’ Sutan asked and I nodded lightly before I saw Monte look towards Brad and than back to me,
‘’who’s in there Adam?’’He asked and I shook my head slightly as I carried on walking towards the stairs and up them, footsteps following me in to my room as I crossed over and pulled my drawers open for a new shirt and pulled it on.
‘’Will you just talk to me Adam and tell me who the hell is sleeping in the living room down there?’’ Monte asked me again as I looked towards him,
‘’Why should it matter to you? This is my apartment, I should be allowed to have who ever I want living here and sleeping in my living room if he wants too’’ I snapped back at him, his face seemed a little taken back at my sudden out bust before he breathed deeply and eyed my room a little, his eyes landing on something which was laid on my floor and I let my eyes follow his look to see one of Tommy’s shirts on the floor.
‘’Who’s is that?’’ He asked again and I groaned in frustration as I lent down and picked it up,
‘’If you really must know, its my boyfriend’s, if that’s okay with you, I mean if im not allowed one I will tell him that I cant be with him because one of my friends don’t want me to be happy’’ I snapped at him again as I pushed past and out in to the hall before I walked over to Tommy’s room and opened his door, walking in, I tripped slightly over one of his guitars, leaning down I picked it up and walked over to where the stands where and placed it back on before I put his top down on top of his dresser and turned again to see Monte and Brad stood in the doorway of the room looking at everything.
‘’Yes?’’ I asked as I pushed them out and shut the door behind me again and made my way back down the stairs to see Sutan coming out the living room with a soft smile,
‘’He woke up and called out for you, just told him that you were changing and he nodded before went back to sleep’’ He told me and I smiled at him before heading towards the kitchen again.
‘’How come Sutan knows and we don’t?’’ Monte’s voice came out to me and I groaned before slapping my hands down on the table and looked up at them.
‘’Because it’s my business who I want to know and who I don’t want to know about my relationships okay’’ I yelled at them.
A soft hand came to rest on my upper arm before Sutan softly pushed me down in to one of the chairs and handed me a can of coke from the fridge, a soft sigh coming from my lips as I looked down at the table.
‘’Im sorry Adam, I didn’t mean to upset you or anything’’ Monte told me as he sat down and I nodded a little, my eyes glancing up slightly to see his hands resting on the table top, his knuckles bruised and a few cuts on them as if he had hit something, at first my mind told me to forget about it and that it was nothing but I couldn’t help but stare at his hands. ‘’Hey, Adam, are you okay?’’ Monte asked and I shook out of my trance and looked up at his face.
‘’what happened, to your knuckles, Monte?’’ I asked him as he looked down quickly and moved his hands off the table before he looked up at me.
‘’Nothing…just nothing’’ He breathed out before glancing towards Brad quickly and back again, probably hoping that I didn’t see. Looking towards him, I raised and eyebrow slightly,
‘’Show me your hands Brad’’ I told him as I looked at Monte and then turned slowly to look at Brad who looked worried a little.
‘’But…But why do you want to see them?’’ He asked and I placed the can back on the table.
‘’Show me your hands now’’ I told him stronger again before he glanced towards Monte and Sutan before he slowly lifted them and held them palm up towards me and I shook my head slightly, ‘’Turn them over’’ I told him and he wavered for a while before slowly turning them over to revel the same sort of bruising and cuts on his knuckles like Monte had and I shook my head slightly and stood up.
I paced the kitchen floor slightly before throwing myself back in to the chair and looked between the two who looked like they had been caught doing a crime, both sweating a little and looking at each other in small glances.
‘’We didn’t hit him’’ Brad said and Monte’s eyes snapped over at him along with mine and Sutan’s as Brad froze and realized what he had said, ‘’What, Monte, it’s the truth kinder’’ He shrugged and Monte groaned before looking away and I just shook my head.
‘’Out’’ I whispered to them and they both looked at me,
‘’Adam?’’ Brad asked as he stood and walked closer to me, my legs moving me to stand as I pushed him away,
‘’Out’’ I said again but a little louder this time as I breathed out deeply, both Monte and Brad stood and looked at each other before me again.
‘’Just listen to us Adam, he had it coming for all the time he hurt you’’ Monte tried telling me and I shook my head and pointed towards the door again.
‘’I said, get out of my place now’’ I yelled at them before walking closer and shoved them a little, ‘’I never asked you to do it and I never would’ve, I love Tommy and he loves me and that’s all I care for and your just making things worse, I don’t want to know any of you anymore’’ I yelled at them again, tears threaten my eyes as I kept shoving them towards the door until they pulled it open and walked out and slammed the door behind them, breathing out deeply I felt a soft hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Sutan stood there and I fell in to his arms softly as he rubbed my back and whispered softly to me.
I took a deep breath and pulled away from him with a small smile before I nodded towards the living room and we both walked in, glancing over at Tommy who was still sleeping despite all the yelling, I found myself staring at him and just smiling before Sutan’s soft chuckle pulled me out of my stare and I blushed slightly as I walked over and put a new film in before walking back over to the couch and laid down carefully next to Tommy again before he stirred a little and moved until half of his body was covering mine, a leg hooked in under mine and I smiled before wrapping my arm around him softly and breathed out.
‘’Did you really mean what you said out in the hallway to them?’’ Sutan asked me softly and I looked up from where I had been watching my fingers trail over Tommy’s arm and up across the room at him before I softly nodded.
‘’I do, I mean I just love him… I never thought that with everything which has every happened that I would be looking out for him and wanting to look at him when he need’s someone like now,’’ I tell Sutan with a small smile before I looked back down at Tommy again, ‘’I mean … I … just words cant really describe the way I feel about him, I mean, the way he fits against my body is so perfect and the way he makes me feel when he just smiles at me, its hard to find words deep enough and loving enough to describe that feeling he gives me’’ I tell Sutan and he chuckled softly.
‘’I know, I kinder feel bad now for the way I threatened to cut his dick off and make him eat it before I sent him home crying to his mom now’’ He told me with a soft laugh and I looked up startled a little,
‘’that’s not funny Sut’’ I tell him and he sighed before nodding softly,
‘’I know, I wouldn’t of said it but it was before I found out about his parents, I had over heard him talking to his friend Mia and everything’’ He told me and I nodded a little before I looked back down at Tommy again and started to trail my fingers back over his skin. Looking down at him, I couldn’t help but start thinking about the day he told me about his parents, the way he just stared out his window as he talked and his hands dug in to the sill a little and I wondered if he had noticed it or not. I sighed quietly to myself before I lent down and kissed the top of his head lightly before I turned back to the tv and let my eyes follow the images which flickered across the screen and let the room fall to a comfortable silence between us all.
A few films later I felt myself yawn a little before I shifted and curled myself in and around Tommy the best I could on the couch before I felt someone pulled the covers up further around us and I glanced up a little to see Sutan smiling down at us.
‘’Im going to head out, got some things to do’’ He told me before he lent down and kissed the top of my head softly,
‘’See you later’’ I whispered out to him before he waved a little and quietly left, breathing out softly I turned back in to Tommy again and wrapped my arms around him a little tighter before I felt him shift in to me, a smile falling across my lips as I watched him sleeping, my own eyes starting to get heavy as I fought with myself to stay away, it wasn’t long before I lost the battle and I fell in to a soft sleep against Tommy’s warm body.
When I woke up a few hours later, I was alone on the couch and the covers had been tucked around me tightly, I breathed out deeply as I stretched and couldn’t help but feel sad a little that I didn’t have Tommy laid next to me when I woke up but I couldn’t help but smile at the feelings I had for the blonde haired boy of mine.
‘The miles are getting longer, it seems, the closer I get to you
I’ve not always been the best man or friend for you
But your love, it makes true and I don’t know why
you always seem to give me another try’
I softly pushed the covers away from my legs before I stood and stretched slightly, my top rising up my stomach before I pushed it back down and made my way towards the door and softly pulled it open before I walked in to the kitchen, my eyes searching around for any sign of Tommy being there, sighing when he wasn’t, I shivered a little with the coldness before I walked over and put the kettle on and started to make some drinks while it boiled.
My eyes lazily followed the surface of the counter as I looked over the countless piles of letters and envelopes which had cluttered up over the past few weeks and months, most of them being cards saying sorry for my loss, letting a sigh out I started to open a few before I placed them back down to finish making two cups of coffee. Picking them up I started out of the kitchen and walked slowly along the hallway before I turned towards the living room and checked it quickly in case Tommy had came back, seeing that he hadn’t, I turned back towards the stairs again and looked over them before I slowly made my way up and towards my bedroom first before moving on towards his own where I softly used my foot to push his door open.
Staring across at him, I smiled and lent against the doorframe a little after placing the drinks down on to the side near the door and folded my arms over my chest as I watched his fingers move over the strings of his guitar, his eyes closed and head softly nodding along to the tune he was playing. I wondered what he was playing as the room was silent apart from the dull pings of his strings as he played, the real sound being carried to his ears by his headphones which was plugged in to the amp near him, I stood there for a few moments just watching him before his eyes opened and he looked up, a soft blush covering his cheeks as he smiled towards me, pushing away I shut his door behind me before I crossed over and softly sat on the bed behind him and lifted the headphones off his ears as I lent forward and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek before I slipped the headphones down over my ears a little as he played.
Chapter 13: Whole world wide in a moment comes undone
It was only then I realized how fucked I was…I truly was in love with Adam and I had thrown everything I had ever built up to protect myself away in seconds but I knew that it was worth every beating I would get, just as long as it meant that I had Adam by my side.
Okay, so I had this whole chapter planned out in my head and everything and it sounded perfect but then trying to write it out, it hasnt turned out the way I thought it was going to so I have mixed feelings about this chapter but enjoy guys :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Waking up next to Adam on the couch was one of the best feelings which I had in a long time and for a while I just laid there watching him sleep so soundly just like the first time I had watched him, when I thought that he was sleeping, I couldn’t help but blush softly at the thought as I laid my head back on his chest again and sighed deeply as I pulled the covers back up over us as I settled down again and just listened to the sound of his heart beaten under my ear and the soft sound of his breathing before I got up carefully and tucked the covers back up and around him again.
Creeping out the living room I made my way upstairs and in to the bathroom where I had started the shower up and pulled my pants off which left me in some boxers, waiting for the water to warm up I stood in front of the mirror and sighed quietly to myself as I ran my fingers over the marks on my body, winching slightly as I pressed a little bit too hard over one mark before I turned and walked over, pushing my hand under the water to test it, I smiled to myself once it was warm enough and pulled the remaining clothing off before I slipped in under the spray of warm water and shivered as the water moved freely over my body and started to sooth out all the sores and tight muscles in my body.
Sitting on the end of the bed, I plugged my guitar in to the amp and then my headphones in to it again so I didn’t disturb Adam downstairs before I started to play a few songs I knew on it, breathing out softly I let my head start to softly nod as I played, my eyes closed as I let myself fall in to the world of music which I had loved so much. Looking up to see Adam stood watching me a while later, I blushed slightly as I kept playing and kept my eyes on him as he walked over and sat on the bed behind me before I felt him lift the headphones off my head and I watched him place them on his own head, a soft smile on his lips as he listened to me play, changing the song I was playing to one I knew the tune off but couldn’t remember the words to it, I looked down at the strings with a smile as he started to sing along quietly.
‘’You never know when you’re gonna meet someone
and your whole wide world in a moment comes undone
you’re just walking around then suddenly
everything that you thought that you knew about love is gone
you find out it’s all been wrong.
All my scars, don’t seem to matter anymore
Co they lead me here to you
I know its gonna take some time
But I’ve got to admit
That the thought has crossed my mind
This might end up like it should
I’m gonna say what I need to say
And hope to god that it don’t scare you away.
Don’t want to be misunderstood
but I’m starting to believe that
this could be the start of something good.
Everyone knows life has its ups and downs
One day you’re on top of the world
and one day you’re the clown.
Well I’ve been both enough to know
that you don’t wanna get in the way when it’s working out
the way that it is right now
you see my heart, I wear it on my sleeve
Coz I just can’t hide it anymore
I know it’s gonna take some time
But I’ve got to admit
That the thought has crossed my mind
This might end up like it should
I’m gonna say what I need to say
And hope to god that it don’t scare you away
Don’t want to be misunderstood
But I’m starting to believe that
this could be the start
coz I don’t know where its goin’
There’s a part of me that loves not knowin’
Just don’t let it end before we begin
You never know when you’re gonna meet someone
Don’t wanna be misunderstood
But I’m starting to believe that this could be the start
Coz I don’t know where its going’
There’s a part of me that loves not knowin’
Just don’t let it end before we begin
You never know when you’re gonna meet someone
And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone
I know it’s gonna take some time
But I’ve got to admit that the thought has crossed my mind
This might end up like it should
I’m gonna say what I need to say
and hope to god that it don’t scare you away
Don’t want to be misunderstood
But im starting to believe that
This could be the start of something good.’’
Watching him as he sang, neither of us really took any notice that I had stopped playing and that I was just sat there listening to him sing the song which turned out that he knew too, smiling, I put my guitar down before twisting on the bed and moved closer to him as I reached up and pulled the headphones off his ears and placed them down on the floor and turned back to see him watching me now.
‘’You sing beautifully’’ I tell him in a soft whisper and he smiled at me with a soft blush, before he reached up and moved my hair out my eyes before sighing quietly, ‘’That night in the club, I didn’t know it was you singing until I took my break and moved near the stage, you sang so good then too Adam, ‘’ I told him softly with a smile as I brought my hands up and let my fingers slide through his.
‘’You’re just saying that Tommy’’ He whispered to me and I shook my head quickly,
‘’No baby, I mean it, I really do, I love it when you sing’’ I whispered to him and he smiled softly to me, leaning in to him, I softly pressed my lips to his before letting his hands go and wrapped my arms around his neck as I felt him pull me closer gently.
‘’Adam’’ I whispered against his lips before pulling away a little and looked up in to his eyes, smiling softly, I climbed in to his lap more and breathed out deeply before resting my forehead against his, ‘’Everything is going to change now isn’t it?’’ I asked him quietly and he replied with a soft nod.
‘’But everything is going to be fine because I have you by my side and im not going to let you go Tommy, you have shown me so much that despite all the bad things which could happen in the world, there are still plenty of good things to happen to me and your just one of them’’ He whispered to me and I blushed deeply before Adam softly laughed. ‘’I brought coffee up’’ He whispered and I grinned before getting up and looked around until I spotted the cups on the dresser, picking them up I handed one over to Adam before I walked over and turned the tv on in my room and grabbed the controller and walked back over to the bed where Adam was now laid out on, his back against my pillows and wall before I joined him and leaned in to his side a little with my hands wrapped around my cup.
His hands started to play with the ends of my hair softly before slowly running through every so often, Adam’s touch was relaxing and I couldn’t help but lean in to him more as I wrapped my arm around his waist once I put my cup down on the night stand beside my bed, breathing out deeply I tilted my head a little and looked up at him.
‘’I love you’’ I told him honestly before he looked down at me with his bright blue eyes and smiled at me, his hand running through my hair again before resting on the back of my neck.
‘’I love you too Tommy’’ He told me and I couldn’t help but grin at him.
Leaning up I slowly I pressed my lips against his softly before I shifted a little on the bed and let my knees slip either side of his waist before his hands rested on my thighs and slowly slid along them until they rested against my hips softly.
‘’mhmff’’ I mumbled against his lips as he nipped my lower lip and pulled me closer to his body, running my hands down his chest slowly I could feel his smile against my lips as I shifted back against him until our hips lined up perfectly before I started to slowly rock against him a little. Tearing my lips away from his slowly, I let them start to leave a trail down his jaw and slowly on to his neck where I lightly licked over the place I could feel his pulse before I gently bit down, a small groan escaped his lips as his hands tightened on my hips, smirking slightly I flicked my tongue over the same spot before I started to slowly kiss a trail down his chest until I kneed his legs apart and laid down on the bed, my lips softly skimming over his stomach, his hand softly coming up to tangle in my hair as I ghosted my palm up over his member and through his jeans.
‘’Tommy…baby’’ Adam’s voice came out slightly strangled as I pressed my palm a little harder over him again, glancing up I could see his eyes half closed and head thrown back, smirking a little I let my fingertips hook in to the tope of his pants before I started to slowly pull them down, his hips slightly moving away from the bed for them to come down before I placed my lips over his small treasure trail, slowly and teasingly moving lower until I reached the very tip of his member which was starting to grow hard under my touch, soon his boxers were away and on the floor with his jeans as I glanced up at him to see his eyes closed and arm draped over his forehead slightly.
Slowly circling my hand around his base, I lightly stroked him a few times before I lowered my mouth over his head and lightly swirled my tongue around him before slowly taking him deeper as his hand came to tangle softly in my hair.
‘’Tommy’’ He groaned out again as I started to bob my head a little, the feeling of him getting harder in my mouth, making my own groan wrap around him as I flicked my tongue around his head again and softly sucked before taking him back deeply until his head brushed against the back of my throat and he moaned freely. Cupping my hand around the base of his member, I let the heel of my palm rub slightly against his balls as I started to lightly hum around him, his breathing getting heavier as I glanced up at him, to see his lips parted as his chest raised and fell quickly before I let my eyes fall shut and turned my attention back to what I was doing and tried to ignore the small throbbing pain which was starting to appear in my side. A small cry escaped Adam’s lips as I felt his body tense slightly under me and then his member throb in my hand and mouth before he reached his climax and released.
Slowly trailing my tongue around his head, I pulled back a little and flicked my tongue over his tip again before I looked up, his eyes meeting mine as I quickly moved and crawled back up his body to press my lips against his softly as my hand gently pressed against his chest before I pulled away and looked at him softly with a smile.
‘’Your going to be the death of me one day’’ He breathed out to me and I laughed softly before his lips were against mine again.
‘’You love it’’ I whispered back with a soft grin as I moved away and hissed slightly as a sharp pain ran through my side quickly which caused me to double over, Adam’s hands quickly moving t my shoulders before he gently pushed me back on the bed and moved away again, breathing out deeply, I opened my eyes to see him pulling his boxers back on again before he was back to my side, a gentle hand on my side rubbing it soothingly.
‘’Baby, you shouldn’t of done what you did for me,’’ he told me and I shook my head slightly,
‘’I wanted to though’’ I told him back as he laughed softly and I placed my hands on my bed slightly and moved a little, another shot of pain running through my side as I breathed out deeply and laid back again.
‘’Right, you stay here, Im going to get some ice and call the doctor’’ Adam told me and I rolled my eyes a little before nodding. Smiling as he kissed the top of my head, I watched him leave the room and I stared up at the ceiling with a small sigh.
It was only then I realized how fucked I was…I truly was in love with Adam and I had thrown everything I had ever built up to protect myself away in seconds but I knew that it was worth every beating I would get, just as long as it meant that I had Adam by my side.
‘’Baby…come on, wake up’’ Came a soft voice as I slowly opened my eyes and looked up to see Adam sat beside me again, rubbing my eyes a little I looked around before I sighed and rested my head back, in the few moments Adam had been gone I had fallen asleep. ‘’Here, hold this against your side softly, it will help for a while’’ He told me, handing over a towel which was wrapped around something, pressing it to my side I breathed out before looking up at him with a small smile.
‘’The doctor will be here in a few hours’’ He told me and I nodded a little before carefully moving over so he had room beside me again.
‘’I don’t know what I would do with out you Adam’’ I whispered to him before softly kissing his shoulder as it was the only part of his body I could reach without moving too much and hurting myself again.
‘’I know baby, Im the same, but you just go back to sleep again okay, everything will be fine’’ He whispered to the top of my head as he kissed it, snuggling in to his side again, I felt his hand move over mine which was holding the ice to my side and I breathed out deeply before quickly falling asleep again against his warm body.
‘’So just spend the rest of today in bed and then tomorrow you have to wear the strap to keep your ribs in place, from what I felt you have badly bruised your ribs but nothing is broken so your okay’’ The doctor told me and I nodded a little and smiled as Adam walked back in to my room as the doctor finished talking. ‘’I’ll show myself out, hope you get better soon Tommy’’ He told me and I nodded slightly before I watched him leave.
‘’Im happy about that, just bruised nothing broken’’ I grinned up at Adam as he sat on the edge of the bed and lent over me slightly, laying my hand flat on his arm softly I couldn’t help but smile at him.
‘’Have I told you how amazing you are?’’ Adam asked and I blushed slightly as he lowered himself down and pecked my lips gently. ‘’Hungry?’’ He asked pulling away and I nodded a little,
‘’Starved actually’’ I told him and he laughed before standing.
‘’Be back soon with food then’’ I smiled and watched him leave before I settled myself back on to my pillows and picked up the controller for the tv again and started to skip through stations until I found a film and I let it play.
‘’Do you think im starting to rely on you too much?’’ I asked Adam as he came back in to the room with a tray in his hands, his eyebrow quirked up slightly as he looked towards me and placed the tray on the dresser before helping me to sit up enough without it hurting.
‘’Why would you ask that baby?’’ He asked as he turned to pick the tray up again and brought it over and placed it on my lap, my eyes looking down to see what he had brought me as I shrugged.
‘’I don’t know, I just feel like Im asking you for too much, I mean I ask about this place and moving in, then I pretty much out myself in front of the whole school and get beaten up and im leaving you to look after me, I swear im making myself in to one of thes-‘’ Adam stopped me talking by placing a finger over my mouth and smiled to me as he sat down on the bed again.
‘’Tommy, you’re not relying on me too much, you had every right to ring up and ask, it was in the paper and you needed somewhere to live. ‘’ He told me and I nodded a little and picked up my fork, ‘’Second, you only done that because I came running to you upset and you done what your heart told you too do so that isn’t your fault and now im looking after you like you looked after me when I needed someone there for me’’ He told me with a gentle smile and I nodded a little.
‘’Yet you still bring me healthy food’’ I smirked at him which came with a soft slap to the thigh as he stood up and walked towards my tv and put a DVD in before coming back and moved on to the bed next to me as I Started to eat.
* Song is Daughtry - Start of something good.
Chapter 14: Everybody's watching us.
‘’Thief’’ I mumbled out to him before I felt his other arm move around me before his lips brush against my ear.
‘’Says the one wearing my shirt’’ He whispered in to my ear, his teeth brushing the lobe as he lent forward and stole some more fries again.
‘’Are you sure you want to do this?’’ Adam asked me as I slowly pulled my shirt up and over my head before flattering it out against my chest, a small amount still in my ribs from the beating I had received two weeks before hand. It was Monday and the first day back after the break which gave me enough time to get myself better to go back to that hell.
‘’I want too Adam, we need to go to school and I love you, I don’t care what people are going to say or what they try to do okay, you’re my boyfriend and that’s how its going to stay’’ I told him as I walked over and wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him with a soft smile.
‘’Okay’’ He replied and I grinned a little before leaning up and kissed him softly before it started to slowly get harder and I could feel Adam start pushing me back towards his bed again before a loud crash from the door made us jump back to reality and we turned to see Sutan stood there, a cup on the floor before he laughed and covered his eyes.
‘’Give it up Sutan, what do you want, I was just about to hopefully get some in before school with my boyfriend’’ Adam told him and I looked up at him surprised a little before laughing softly and shook my head and looked back towards Sutan in the doorway still.
‘’Well darling, im afraid you don’t have time, if you don’t leave now your going to be late for our first class’’ Adam groaned a little before looking down and back to me,
‘’You go on, I will meet you in class’’ He told me before softly kissing me again and I grinned before nodding, pecking his lips once more, I grabbed my bag and hurried after Sutan and out the door to the car.
‘’Adam’s going to meet us in class’’ I told him with a wink before sliding in to the side of his car and pushed my back down on to the floor between my feet before buckling myself in.
Half way through the class I glanced towards the door before towards Sutan who was looking at me before he shrugged and I sighed a little wondering were Adam had gotten too, leaning on the desk I tried to follow the teacher as he droned on about the rates of percentages of something in the math’s class before I felt a buzz against my leg and I jumped and slammed my hands down on the desk a little.
‘’Sorry’’ I mumbled out to the teacher as he looked towards me before carrying on again, glancing over to Sutan he looked at me and shrugged again before I pulled my phone out and kept it hidden as I read the message from Adam.
Sorry, running late, ended ^ grabbing a cold shower nd got have way 2 sch b4 remembering theater work so had 2 go bk nd grab it. I promise I will see you at lunch xxx A<3
I couldn’t help but grin slightly at his message before I quickly typed one back.
Don’t short hand its annoying and okay baby, miss you xx T<3
Sending it I pushed my phone back in to my pocket with a small grin on my face still as I lent on my desk again and started to fall asleep as the teacher carried on reading from the book he had in his hands while trying to explain how to sort the problems out quicker.
Passing through the hall way and towards music I couldn’t help but grin a little at the thought of getting my hands on a guitar again for a hour, it was one of the main classes that I really ever took notice in and I think the teachers knew that because I never seemed to get disturbed once I had shut myself in to one of the sound booths which lined one side of the music room.
‘’Tommy….wait up’’ I heard someone shout and I turned to see Mia running towards me with a grin before throwing her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly before she quickly let go as I let a sharp hiss out through my teeth at the pain in my ribs.
‘’Baby im sorry, what’s wrong/’’ She asked quickly as I rested my hand on her shoulder and wrapped the other around my body, holding my side a little as I breathed out deeply and looked at her with a soft smile.
‘’Its fine, and I just got jumped before the school break but im mending’’ I laughed softly as I slipped my arm around her neck and we started to walk down the hall again, this was the one of the classes we had together which I loved.
‘’So are you going to play for me to sing again this lesson?’’ Mia asked as we walked in to the class room and I started to move towards the corner where my guitar was still currently sat in its case, a small smirk on the corner of my lips as I unlocked the case and pulled my baby out and turned back to her before raising an eyebrow and nodded towards the largest sound booth. Laughing as she grinned and ran off I shook my head before leaning back for my case again, my bottom lip caught between my teeth as a small shot ran through my body, my ribs throbbing slightly before I made my way towards the booth and slipped in as the teacher walked in. clicking the door shut I set my case down before sitting on the chair and grabbed the wires and started to plug the guitar in to the amp before I turned back and waited for Mia to get herself sorted and to show me what music she wanted me to play for her.
‘’This’’ I looked up from my thoughts as papers were shoved in to my hands and I let my eyes quickly move over them before I placed them on the stand and pulled my guitar closer to me and found the right cords before I started to strum slowly, getting used to the new music before I nodded a little and turned to look at her with a grin,
‘’Alright, I think I got the basic’s down, you ready to start?’’ I asked her and she beamed before nodding and moved to the other side of the small room and grabbed her own paper, no doubt the words closer to her and placed them on the table in front before pulling her jacket off as soft words started to fall of her tongue and out her lips as my fingers started to move over the guitar.
Half an hour later, my fingers felt like they were going to drop off any moment from the continues playing for Mia, breathing out deeply I pulled my hand away and let the last cord echo in the room a little before it faded as I rubbed my hands softly and glanced over at my best friend.
‘’At least let me have a break Mia, my hands are hurting like a bitch and the throbbing is getting worse in my side from sitting in the same way for so long’’ I told her as I placed my guitar down and stood a little, a hand instantly moving to my side and slipping inside my jacket to rub over the wrap which was still around my ribs which Adam had made me wear still. Grinning a little I lent back against the wall before I felt a paper ball hit against my chest and I looked up with a grin still to find Mia laughing at me.
‘’Wow you are so in love, I know that look Thomas Joe Ratliff so don’t even try to deny it boy’’ She huffed out to me and I laughed as I bit my lip and winked at her.
‘’I think I am’’ I told her and I laughed at her sudden shocked look, I wasn’t the type of person to admit my feelings or emotions so freely like I did just then so I knew that I had caught her off guard.
‘’Are you really okay Tommy because I swear you just basically told me that you were in love’’ She asked and I smiled across at her before nodding.
‘’Im fine, and its true, I really do think im in love with Adam’’ I whispered out to her before I turned a little and looked towards the door to see it still firmly shut from when I walked in before I turned back to look at Mia. ‘’He…’’ I sighed a little and smiled at her again, ‘’He just makes me feel like the person I want to be, before everything what happen with his family I hated it, I hated the way the others used to pick on him and made me do it, Im not that type of guy Mia, you know that’’ I told her and she nodded before placing her papers back in her bag and walked over and sat on the floor as I sat back down on the chair again. ‘’I mean, sure once we got told what had happened to his parents, I felt something stir inside my heart, I knew what how he felt and what he was going through because of my own family, I know that I hated my father for what he done to my mom but he was still my dad at the end of the day and on the days which we were a perfect family I loved it’’ I told her softly as she listened.
‘’So you think you’ve had a crush on him for a longer time than you realized?’’She asked and I nodded to her with a gentle sigh.
‘’But I have no idea when it turned to love, I didn’t even see any of the signs but it was clear as hell, when he didn’t come to school for that month I kept finding myself searching the halls for him and staring at the classroom doors wishing that he would just walk through it with his bright smile like he used to do all the time. When we went to the hospital, it was the day he lost his brother, on his birthday’’ I told her quietly and she reached out, resting her hand on my knee gently.
‘’I over heard what he had said to his brother about me being a good guy and that he would’ve loved to introduce me to him and his parents, it broke my heart to see him so sad, I know that he’s happier now but some nights when im not in his room I can hear him trying to cry as quiet as he can. I’ve even gone to his room but stopped when I saw him holding the pillow to his face to hide the sounds so he didn’t disturb me, Adam’s strong but he’s not as strong as people think and I …. I know this sounds vain but when Adam’s around me and when im around Adam, I feel like I make him feel stronger than ever and I feel like nothing could hurt me or him when im with him.’’ I tell her and she smiled at me.
‘’That doesn’t sound vain Tommy, I can see that you both care about each other deeply’’ She told me and I smiled to her, ‘’And im happy for both of you I really am, if anything Im jealous of how you got such a good looking guy’’ She teased and I laughed before shoving her hand off and looked towards the clock to see that it was still only half way through the lesson.
‘’Are you going to sit with us?’’ I asked Mia as we walked towards the lunch room before heading over to join the queue with a tray in hand,
‘’Sure, why not’’ She smiled at me before I nodded and turned to grab a bowl of fries and a bottle of water before heading over to pay for my food. Waiting for Mia, I nodded over towards the table where I could see Sutan sat before I started to walk towards it, a few stares around already before they turned again.
‘’Hey, Tommy come here for a second will you’’ I turned to see my cousin stood near the table I normally sat at and I glanced at her before handing her my things before I walked over to him and the table.
‘’What do you want?’’ I asked slightly annoyed as I rubbed my ribs a little again and stared at him.
‘’Whoa, was just going to ask if you wanted to come to this party tonight?’’ He asked and I shook my head slightly.
‘’No thanks, not in the mood for partying’’ I tell him before turning to walk away before I felt his strong grip on my arm as he tugged me back.
‘’No your too busy with that fag to spend with your cousin aren’t you’’ He sneered in to my ear and I glared a little before pulling out his hold and spun around so I was up and close in his face.
‘’First, that fag has a name and its Adam, and Adam is my boyfriend whether you like it or not’’ I hissed out at him, ‘’So yeah im busy with him’’ I muttered out before pushing him back a little and turned back around glad that no one really heard the words spoken between us.
By the time I had walked back over to where Sutan was sat, every one else had turned up and was sat down, walking around towards Adam I sat down beside him before pulling my stuff towards me after Mia held them out.
‘’Thanks’’ I muttered out to her before I felt a slight touch against my arm and I turned to look up at Adam,
‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked, a worried look in his eyes and I smiled softly before moving his arm and moved to sit in his lap before wrapping his arm around my waist, his body tensing a little behind mine before relaxing as I nodded.
‘’I am now, but ribs are hurting a little still’’ I told him as he nodded and lent down and dug around his bag before pulling out a small bottle of painkillers and quickly two out and handed them to me as he placed the bottle back in his bag. ‘’You really think of everything don’t you?’’I asked him with a grin as I placed them on my tongue and opened my water before taking a mouthful and swallowed both down.
‘’I’ll defend this fairytale
for me it’s true till the end
something more than real
with you I cant pretend.’’
Adam’s arm felt warm against my waist as I lent back in to him and started to eat a few of my fries before he stole one and I mocked glared up at him before sticking my tongue out.
‘’Thief’’ I mumbled out to him before I felt his other arm move around me before his lips brush against my ear.
‘’Says the one wearing my shirt’’ He whispered in to my ear, his teeth brushing the lobe as he lent forward and stole some more fries again.
‘’Hey… That’s not fair’’ I cried out to him, a few of the others laughing at us as I turned and pouted at Adam again. ‘’They are my fries’’ I tell him.
‘’That’s my shirt’’ He challenged back to me and I felt my eyes widen slightly before I tugged the zip of my hoody up further,
‘’Jerk’’ I murmured out to him as I lent back against his chest again before leaning up and kissed the underside of his jaw lightly before he looked down at me. He laughed softly above me and I glanced at the others who were looking at us with different expressions before I rolled my eyes. ‘’He left it in my room’’ I shrugged simply before I felt Adam’s arm tighten around me a little.
‘’Adam, what’s wrong?’’ I asked him softly as I looked up at him, his eyes moving down to me before down to the table top as he turned his head towards me a little.
‘’Everybody’s watching us’’ He whispered in to my ear and I glanced around quickly to see people were watching us and whispering before looking away again and I sighed and turned back to him.
‘’Do you want me to get off you?’’ I whispered back just as quietly to him before he shook his head and smiled at me lightly.
‘’No, I…I like this’’ He admitted with a soft blush and I grinned a little and lent in to him more.
‘’Then why don’t we give them all something to really stare at and talk about’’ I murmured in to his ear before I moved a hand up to his jaw and turned his face to mine more before pressing my lips against his softly, his hands tightening their hold around me a little before his lips started to move back against mine just as softly before I felt the tip of his tongue run over the seal of my lips as I parted them and let my tongue slip out and tentively brush against the tip of his as my hand slipped down on to his neck and softly curled around the back of his neck as he held me in his arms. Everything seemed to slip away from me as we kissed, as if reality suddenly got sucked down in to the deepest, darkest joint of earth, it was just me and Adam together, alone.
‘’Okay guys, break it off now…’’ Sutan’s voice broke through the misty air around us, as if Adam was thinking the same thing, his lips stayed against mine as we continued to kiss deeply.
‘’Guuys…’’ His voice rang out again… ‘’Fucking hell, stop sucking face will you’’ He breathed out slightly flushed as we slowly broke away with a small grin as we stared at each other, Adam’s bright blue eyes locked on mine as I stroked my thumb against the back of his neck lightly, seeing him dip back down again, my lips came with in inches of his again before we both jumped as something was chucked at us and we turned to look towards Sutan who held a fry in his hand.
I grinned at him sheepishly while Adam blushed and I looked down to see some fries on my lap and I laughed a little as I picked them up and placed them on the tray again as I lent back in to Adam’s chest, his hand moving around to lace his fingers through with mine before his thumb stroked over the back of my hand. Looking up, a few people was still staring before I flipped them off and turned back and listened to Adam’s friends talking about different things but I couldn’t help but let myself slip in to my own thoughts as I rested back against Adam’s chest which moved violently every so often as he laughed, his arms tightening around my waist in soft hugs as he rested his chin on my shoulder.
But I couldn’t help but think of how I am when I was around Adam, he was everything I could’ve asked for and then he was even more again, he was amazing with everything and he is always willing to listen, I sighed softly and felt his lips press a soft kiss to my jaw before smiling at me and going back to the conversation with his friends as I watched them, I couldn’t pretend with Adam.
He brought the true me out of my deep dark shell and I just couldn’t find myself building any walls up to stop him from digging deeper in to my soul and finding more about me, apart from Mia, Adam was the only person to ever get so deep and he even went deeper than Mia ever did but I loved him for it. I loved him because he made me see the real person I was and not the guy I wore like a Halloween costume every day for most of our school lives.
‘’I love you’’ A small smile itched the corner of my lips up slightly as his voice whispered in to my ear, warm breath on the back of my neck as I looked around to see no one at the table looking at us before I turned a little.
‘’I love you too’’ I spoke to him softly but I couldn’t help but see the small smile which Sutan had on his lips from the corner of my eyes as he looked over at us quickly before away again as he carried on talking to Mia.
Sooner than I wanted it too, the school bell rang for the end of lunch and I sighed deeply before slowly crawling of Adam’s lap and grabbed my bag and moved it over my shoulders as I stretched as much as I could with the wrap on before I turned and waited for Mia to finish putting her things away before she came bouncing back over to us with a smile.
‘’History’’ She beamed and I groaned a little before I felt a hand slide in to mine and I looked down to see Adam’s perfectly painted fingernails resting against my hand before I glanced up at him with a grin.
Walking out the lunch room and moved through the hall, people kept looking towards us and whispering again but I really didn’t care what people thought any more and I could tell Adam was the same as we stopped at my locker and I let his hand go to spin my code in before pulling my locker open.
‘’Sutan wants to go out for some drinks tonight, told him that I was going to ask you what you wanted to do first’’ Adam told me as I swapped my books over and he stood lent against the lockers beside me, my eyes darting over to him with a soft smile as I pushed my unwanted text books back in to my locker and the ones I needed in to my bag.
‘’Sounds like it will be fun, plus I’ve never seen him drink before’’ I winked at Adam which caused him to laugh gently.
‘’So I can tell him that he can expect us then?’’ He asked as I closed my locker and I nodded.
‘’Sure can’’ I muttered out as I turned and curled my fingers around the front of his shirt softly and pulled him down against my lips which responded quickly as hands wrapped around my waist pulling me closer before he slowly pulled away and smiled at me.
‘’See you at home baby’’ He told me before kissing me once more and pulled away again.
‘’Yeah, at home’’ I whispered out to him with a small wink as he blushed and I pecked his lips before we parted and walked down the hall again together before he turned and walked towards the stage doors and I walked towards the stairs.
Slipping in to class just before the bell, I walked towards the back and ducked down in to my seat with a small grin on my lips as I pulled my books out and placed them on the desk as the teacher walked in.
I really couldn’t wait for tonight to begin, and I no longer cared what people thought about me or the gorgeous boy I now had to myself.
Chapter 15: Let the drinking games begin. - Adam.
Again, a chapter from Adam's point of view, but also thrown in a small pov from Sutan aswell :) I hope you guys enjoy.
‘’After three okay, no chickening out on this’’ Sutan laughed out as he pushed shots in front of us all and I glanced towards Tommy to see him smirking a little. I knew that he had been waiting all day for this.
‘’One’’ I lent forward and grabbed the glass.
‘’Two’’ I looked at the faces of Sutan and Tommy staring at each other with a smug look.
‘’Three’’ I through the liquid back my throat as fast s I could before slamming the empty shot glass back on to the table and coughed slightly at the strong liquid burning my throat.
‘’Shit Sutan, what was in that?’’ Tommy asked as he lent across the table and grabbed the pot which held the rest of the mixture in and poured some more out and pushed them around again,
‘’Tommy I don’t think I can drink any more of that’’ I told him and he looked up at me with a grin,
‘’Awa baby, come on just one more for me?’’ He asked giving me large puppy eyes and a pout. Glaring at him slightly I laughed and shook my head before taking the glass from him and wrapped my arm around his waist tightly and pulled him on to my lap as I kissed his cheek gently.
‘’Are you trying to get me drunk Mr. Tommy Joe?’’ I asked before he smirked a little and took his own shot.
‘’I need my own boyfriend’’ Sutan whined out and I looked over at him before laughing and backing the shot down before slamming the glass back down on the table again at the same time as Tommy.
Feeling Tommy snuggle back in to my chest more, I couldn’t help but smile as he nuzzled his nose in to my ear and I could feel his breath ghost over my ear.
‘’I cant pretend around you’’ He whispered to me and I frowned a little before looking down at him, but my thoughts were cut short as his lips pressed up against mine and his hand trailed along my neck in to the back of my hair as I tightened my arm around his waist and pulled him closer to me. all to soon he pulled away and I groaned a little to see him smirking at me as he climbed off my lap and walked towards the bar, leaning back in the booth, I stared across the club and towards the bar where I watched Tommy lean against it, his small ass sticking out a little as I let my tongue flick out over my lower lip to moisten it slightly as I mentally started to undress him.
‘’Adam, stop mind fucking your boyfriend and come drink more’’ A voice broke through and I turned back to Sutan and laughed slightly before accepting the shot glass which had been refilled and now pushed in to my hand before I quickly brought it to my lips and tilted my head back, letting the strong and vile, burning liquid slide down my throat again. About five more shots later and half a dozen stupid jokes and laughs later, Tommy came back sliding in to the booth with a tray of other drinks and I quickly reached over for the bright blue drink and pulled it closer to me and took a long sip before almost chocking on the strongness of it.
‘’Hell, what did you do, put a whole bottle of vodka in here Tommy?’’ I asked him and he laughed with a small shrug,
‘’Pretty much, I told the bar tender to just make them as strong as he is allowed to do’’ He grinned as I shook my head and took a smaller sip again, rolling it around my tongue a little, I swallowed and slowly started to get used to the strong and bitter taste of the drink before I placed it on the table again and looked around Tommy and Sutan who was fighting over something and laughing.
Everything was perfect, I was loving the feeling I got when I was around the two of them and I knew that I had made the right choice of ever letting Tommy have a second chance with everything and for Sutan for making me realize what I really needed in my life, true friends and someone I could love and who would love me for myself.
‘’CAM’’ Sutan’s loud voice suddenly made me jump quickly and squeak a little before I slapped a hand over my mouth, glancing at Tommy I could see him trying to hold his laughter and I kicked him under the table a little and glanced down at the table as I picked my drink up and took a long sip from it again,
‘’Come dance with me’’ Tommy’s voice was low in my ear and I looked up at him a little to see his eyes a little darker as I nodded and put my drink down as he took my hand and started to pull me out from our seats were Cam’s and Sutan’s eyes followed before going back to whispering to each other.
Tommy’s hands were low on my waist as he pulled me closer to him in the small space we had managed to find on the packed dancefloor, wrapping my arms around his neck, I let one hang loose over his shoulder while the over warmly wrapped around the back of his neck, my thumb drawing small circles in to his skin as we started to move our bodies to the beat of the current song, legs stuck together and stomachs touching as we moved, our eyes stuck on each others.
‘’Fuck your beautiful’’ I spoke out to him as I lowered my head a little and placed it against his with a smile as we danced, his cheeks warming up slightly at the comment and at the heat coming from both of us and the people dancing around us and the clubs lights. ‘’How in the hell did I ever get so lucky for a guy like you to love me’’ I spoke out to him again as we started to dance a lot closer and started to press our hips and bodies closer and tighter against each other.
‘’Luck…looks…and for just being you’’ He breathed out to me before Tommy crashed his lips to mine, our tongues fighting for the lead as our teeth clashed a little and lips were biting in a hot mess, either of us not really caring as we let ourselves get carried away with the moment and in the mist of music and booze.
‘’CAM’’ I yelled out the moment I saw her getting closer to the table, jumping up I ignored the squeak which came from Adam and then the sound of someone yelping as I greeted her in a massive hugged and pulled her closer to the table. ‘’Im glad you could make it tonight’’ I told her with a large grin as I let her go and reached down for my shots and poured two out before handing her one as Tommy led Adam out of the booth and towards the dancefloor.
‘’Of course’’ She told me with a grin before she turned and watched the two boys walk off in to the crowd, hand in hand. ‘’Wait was that Tommy Ratliff from school, the one bulling Adam?’’ She asked and I nodded before laughing a little.
‘’Girl you have a lot to catch up on’’ I tell her with a wink before knocking our glasses together and poured them back our throats before sliding in to the booth where I started to explain everything which had gone on in the past month.
Having a few more drinks together I looked at the time before turning back to Cam again and smiled.
‘’So how has the work been going lately?’’ I asked her with a grin as I rested my elbow on the table and my chin in my hand as I watched her.
‘’Fantastic, I mean im doing everything I want and then even more again.’’ She exclaimed and I laughed and nodded a little.
‘’That sounds good to me, Im still trying to make it in to the make up business, still no luck’’ I told her with a small sigh before she beamed and rested her hand on my shoulder,
‘’You know, I have a shoot next week and I can really do with a make up artist’’ She told me and I grinned before leaning up and hugged her the best I could over the table before we sat back and started to talk about other things.
‘’Sutan’’ I breathed out a little and looked up from the table when I felt someone shaking me and smiled at Cam before she laughed and tapped her wrist. ‘’We should get going, it’s nearly 4:30am’’ She tells me and I jumped up slightly before grabbed my things and pushing them in to my pockets.
‘’We are so lucky to have free lessons in the morning’’ I told her with a grin as I looked around for Tommy and Adam. ‘’Shit, where have they gone too’’ I asked as looked over the dancefloor before letting a soft sigh out as I saw them near the edge of the floor, Tommy pressed against a wall with Adam against him, lips locked, rolling my eyes a little I grabbed their things before we both stood and started to make our way over to them.
‘’Adam, Tommy, time to go guys’’ I told them and rolled my eyes as I got no response. Watching them, I grew wide eyed slightly as I saw Adam’s hand slip lower on Tommy’s jeans before I grabbed him and pulled him away a little. ‘’There’s a time and place to do that and right here isn’t one, now come on, its half 4 and we have school tomorrow so we need some sleep to keep us going’’ I told them and Adam stared at me before groaning and looked back at Tommy again.
I wasn’t sure when or how we had moved, but all I did know was that I now had Tommy pressed against a wall with my hands up his shirt and against warm skin as his hands tugged on my hair a little before sliding down my arms as voice grew near us.
‘’So hot’’ Tommy groaned out against my lips a little as I felt him pull me closer and his hips brush up against mine as I grinned against his lips a little and started to slide my hand down his stomach again, slowly I started to teasingly slip it down over the front of his jeans before cupping him lightly in my hand before I felt myself being pulled away and turned to face a rather red faced Sutan and Cam, a small stupid grin appearing on my face as he spoke before I frowned and groaned a little and turned back to Tommy.
Taking my jacket from him I managed to get it on before I slipped my arm around Tommy’s waist and pulled him closer to me as we started to head towards the exit of the club.
‘’Stay in my room tonight’’ I muttered out to Tommy as I kissed the top of his head a little as his arms wrapped around my waist tightly and we both helped each other walk once we hit the fresh air outside.
‘’Of course, your sexy so why wouldn’t I?’’ He slurred out a little with a small giggle before he lent up and pressed his lips to mine again, my hand starting to snake up to his neck as I heard Sutan clear his throat and we both pulled away and grinned at him.
‘’Spoil sport’’ I whispered in to Tommy’s ear so Sutan wouldn’t hear, the words causing him to laugh and for Sutan to stare at us,
‘’Oh my god, your both worse than a pair of five year olds hyped on sugar, its like we have to watch you every second of the day’’ He growled out before grabbing Tommy’s hand and pulled him away, leaving me to stagger a little before Cam grabbed hold of me and I grinned a little again.
‘’You can both stay away from each other until we get home and then you can do what ever you want’’ He breathed out as he held Tommy still and hailed down a taxi.
Once inside, I looked towards Cam who was sat in the front and told the driver the address before looking around and grinned at Tommy a little who was on the other side of Sutan.
‘’Im never letting either of you ever drink again’’ He muttered out and I laughed slightly before leaning down and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before resting my head on his shoulder.
‘’You love us, Sutan, of course you will because you like us happy and Tommy makes me happy and horny most of the time’’ I grinned out to him, a slight slur to my voice showing that I had had one too many drinks during the night.
‘’Uhh, too much information Adam, seriously, just keep it in your pants until we get home okay’’ He told me and I nodded and turned back out the window as we drove, before long I started to lightly sing along with the tune on the radio and there was a few laughs before I turned to see Tommy trying to get his phone to turn on but ended up just rolling it around in his hands before his eyes met mine with a bright shine in them.
‘’I can’t find the on button, I think it ran away from me Adam.’’ He grinned out almost child like to me.
Chapter 16: I think im dying but you bring me back to life.
Your face reminds me of a flower
Kind of like you’re underwater
Hair’s too long and in your eyes
your lips – a perfect suck me size.’
‘’Morning sunshine’’ I cursed slightly as a loud voice came bouncing in to my room and I buried myself further under my covers and pillows as I shut my eyes tightly to try and stop the throbbing in my head which wasn’t going to go away any time soon.
‘’Fuck off’’ I muttered out as loud as I could let myself without it hurting before I felt someone jump on the bed and I groaned out again.
‘’Thomas Joe Ratliff, I am ashamed of you for that kind of language towards your friend.’’ Sutan’s voice was loud and I brought a hand up and out from the warmth of the covers in attempt to swat at him but found that my hand never met anything but thin air.
‘’Come on get up and I will get you some coffee’’ He told me as he softly rubbed at my back and I let a soft sound out which sounded almost like a purr before he was gone again, despite Sutan making the worst coffee ever, I felt like I would be able to drink anything after last night. Rolling over in bed I stretched a little and slowly opened my eyes to protect myself from the harsh light which was filling in through my open window and I muttered a few more curses towards Sutan before I grabbed a pair of jeans and tugged them on and up over my thighs before doing them up and padded barefoot and chested down the hall before heading down the stairs and in to the kitchen where the smell of coffee and beacon filled my noise and I found my mouth starting to water already.
‘’Ohh the zombie has joined us at last’’ I looked towards the table to see Adam sat there with a cup of tea in his hands a plate of fruit in front of him and I raised my eyebrow slightly at him before flipping him off and walked over to the table, sitting down I rested my head on the cold surface before I felt fingers running through my hair.
‘’That’s nice’’ I murmured out in almost a purr again as I moved closer to Adam as he chuckled and kept running his fingers through my hair softly before leaning down and kissed my cheek gently .
‘’Fuck, I forgot we had school today’’ I mumbled out before Sutan laughed and walked over, placing a cup of coffee down in front of me which my hands quickly wrapped around and brought it to my lips.
‘’No we don’t, school got a busted water pipe and it flooded a few classrooms and the locker rooms, so the school’s given us the week off’’ Adam whispers to me and I smiled a little before nodding and sipped at the coffee.
‘’Wait...how come your ....not so hung over?’’ I asked Adam as he laughed softly and nodded towards the clock, turning I let my mouth open slightly before I closed it again. It was gone three in the afternoon.
‘’We did try to come and wake you up sooner baby, but you were out of it and I don’t blame you, we did drink quite a lot last night and it didn’t help having our drinks mixed by someone’’ Adam told me before he rolled his eyes at Sutan who laughed loudly and I groaned a little before resting my head back on the table again.
‘’I feel like im dying’’ I muttered out against the glass top before Adam’s fingers came back to run through my hair gently.
‘’Im sure its not that bad baby, I know Sutan was mixing some hard things last night, but you got plenty of sleep, he made sure of that too’’ Adam told me, a slight swale to his voice as I looked up to see him glaring towards Sutan as he cooked.
‘’Would’ve been better if I was in your room with you’’ I muttered out as I stood and walked over to Adam before crawling to his lap and lent against his chest as he laughed softly and rubbed my back.
‘’Trust me, I tried to fight him but he’s scary when he teams up with Cam’’ Adams voice whispered in to my ear as I grinned and wrapped my arms around his neck before looking up at him as he spoke towards Sutan.
He truly was beautiful and I was madly, deeply and totally in love with him breathing out a little, I let my eyes follow the curve of his jaw along to his lips as they moved with each word he said before I smiled and buried myself against his chest, a hand sliding down to rest against his stomach which was covered by a shirt sadly before his arms tightened around my waist and he kissed the top of my head before leaning down.
‘’Seen something you like baby?’’ He whispered in to my ear hotly before I blushed slightly and nodded against him, my hand on his stomach slowly trailing further down before I slipped it up under his shirt and rested it against hot skin. Glancing up as Sutan walked over with two plates in his hands, he placed them down on the table in front of us and side by side as he grinned slightly,
‘’No point of putting yours where you were sat, I doubt you will be leaving Adam’s lap any time soon’’ He teased and I blushed slightly before hiding behind my hair and lent against the warmth which was Adam’s body.
‘Open up baby’’ I glanced up at Adam as he spoke to me softly and smiled before I grinned and opened my mouth just for him to slide a small fork of eggs in to my mouth, my lips wrapping around it tightly as he pulled it back out again and I winked at Adam as I turned slightly on his lap and pressed my body down in to his hips where I could already feel his length starting to get heavy and hot against me. ‘’Your going to kill me one day’’ he breathed out heavily in to my ear as he lent forward and picked up some of his own food and ate it, my eyes darting towards Sutan who was staring at us with a smile and I couldn’t help but laugh a little before I quickly stopped with a groan as my head pounded again.
‘’Why are you staring at us like that?’’ I asked him as I rubbed my temple slightly and looked back up at him as he shrugged and picked his drink up to take a sip and placed them down again.
‘’Its like watching my boys grow up and fall in love and be so happy’’ He laughed out with a grin as I shook my head slightly and pressed a kiss to the skin just under Adam’s jaw.
‘’You’ve said that about every boyfriend I’ve ever had and then you go and threaten to chop body parts off and it normally ends’’ Adam tells him and I muffled a small laugh as I curled in to his chest and laid my cheek against his shoulder.
‘’Well yeah... but I like Tommy and I know he wouldn’t hurt you like the others did’’ Sutan spoke out and I glanced up at him quickly.
‘’Do you really mean that?, I mean even with all the shit which went on in the past between me and Adam, do you really mean that’’ I asked him surprised before he smiled and nodded to me,
‘’Of course I do baby, your part of Adam’s life, at first I wasn’t too sure but I saw what you were like with him, how you cared when other’s defferently didn’t.’’ He told us and I felt myself smiling as Adam’s hand ran up my bare back a little, a small shiver running through my body at his touch.
‘’If I remember rightly, I think... at some point you said that once we got home we could do what ever we wanted, so how come I woke up alone in my bed with boxers on still?’’ I asked Sutan who seemed to choke on his drink a little before glancing towards Adam who had suddenly gone rather red.
‘’That’s my fault baby, we got back here and I headed up stairs with you and well we were trying to undress each other before I decided to come back down with nothing on, just my hands covering me apparently before I passed out on the couch’’ Adam whispered with a blush as I laughed and quickly covered my mouth.
‘’Oh Adam, why are you ...I don’t even know’’ I laughed as I lent up and pressed my lips to his cheek softly before I climbed of his lap and walked over to the fridge with a slight wiggle before I grabbed some water from it and started to search through the cupboards until I found some painkillers, shaking a few on to my hand I placed them back in until I was left with two and put the bottle back before placing the pills on my tongue and swallowed them back with a mouthful of water as I walked back over and sat back down on Adam’s lap again.
‘’I really am sorry, you don’t know how much I wanted to grab you and push you down in to the mattress last night’’ Adam murmured lowly in to my ear, my eyes glancing up to look towards Sutan who was busy eating and looking through a magazine to listen to his low words.
‘’Mhmm, make it up to me’’ I whispered back to him as I pushed my ass down in to his lap a little and he lent down nipping my neck harshly before I laughed and got up again and walked towards the kitchen door. ‘’Going for a shower’’ I told them before winking at Adam and headed up the stairs.
Running my hand through my hair lightly I turned in to the bathroom and turned the shower on before closing the door again before heading towards my room where I started to get some clean clothes out and held them in my arms as I made my way towards Adam’s room and inside where I laid my jeans and boxers out on his bed before I walked over to his drawers and started to look through them for a shirt to go with everything.
Smirking at the clothes a little I turned and headed in to the bathroom again where the steam from the hot water had started to mist everything up and I smiled before pulling my boxers off and climbed in to the shower before closing the door behind me lightly again as I moved forward and let the hot water soak over my skin. Breathing out deeply I let my head roll forward a little before I braced a hand against the wall and ran the other through my hair to push it out my face as I kept my eyes closed and let the water just wash away last nights events.
‘’Fucking gorgeous’’ I muttered out to myself as I reached out for the body wash and pulled it in to my hands as I stood up straighter.
‘’You have that right’’ A voice whispered heavy in to my ear as strong arms came sliding around my waist and I grinned slightly before leaning back in to Adam,
‘’So you think this is your way of making it up to me?’’ I asked out to him as I turned my head a little and kissed along his jaw before I put the wash back on the shelve again and turned in his arms before wrapping my arms around his neck tightly.
‘’Well one of the ways’’ He whispered out to me before leaning closer and let his lips press against my neck as he pushed me backwards and I stumbled back against the wall with a small slap of skin against wet tiles.
Letting my head lean back against the wall as Adam sucked his way down on to my weak spot, I let a soft groan out and pulled him closer to me before forcing his lips away from my neck and back to mine again as I slipped a hand up in to the back of his hair.
‘’Su...Sutan_’’ I mumbled out around a groan as Adam bit down on the side of my neck and softly sucked the skin between his lips before pulling away and looked down at me as I breathed out deeply and looked back in to his dark colored eyes.
‘’Gone to do some shopping, moaning about how you eat everything’’ He told me with a small smirk before his hands trailed up from my waist, ‘’so im getting myself some afternoon delight’’ He murmured lowly and sexily in to me ear.
‘’Shit Adam’’ I purred out as I moved my hands back to his hair and tugged him down closer to me, our lips crashing together in a mass of tongue and teeth, nipping at each others lower lips and tongues lightly and teasingly before I felt him suck on my bottom lip.
Letting a soft moan out, I pushed him away and breathed out deeply before I raked my fingers down his chest as I pushed away from the wall with a small smirk.
‘’Trying to shower here baby’’ I winked at him as I pushed his legs away from my waist and laughed softly at the look on his face. Grabbing the shower gel, I poured some in to my hands before I turned around and started to rub it over my chest before I felt Adam’s body behind mine again, hands slipping over my wet and soapy skin before curling around my hardness as his other moved around my chest and his lips pressed against the soft curve of my neck again, his hardness pressing against my back and ass.
‘’Your such a tease baby’’ He murmured in to my ear as his fingers slowly wrapped around my base tighter, a groan lodged in my throat as he pulled me back tighter against his body.
‘’Ada...Adam’’ I moaned out to him as I laid my head back on his shoulder and let my eyes close to the feeling of Adam’s hand softly stroking over me and the spray of the water on my face slightly as we stood just out from under it.
‘’Can you feel that?’’ He whispered against my ear again as he slowly rocked his hips against me, drawing another groan from my lips. ‘’Its all for you, Tommy Joe, every single inch, You really don’t know what you do to me baby’’ He whispered huskily before I felt his teeth tug on my earlobe lightly as I bit my lip hard.
‘’Shit baby im sorry’’ I groaned out to him as I rocked my body back against his and let my hands grip at his arm around my chest before I pushed my hips in to his hand looking for friction.
‘’Relax baby’’ Adam cooed to me as he let my hardness go and I felt his hand slide back around as he dropped his other arm and moved it around my waist before I felt his hand softly squeeze at my ass. ‘’Relax for me Tommy, just let yourself feel me’’ He whispered as I felt his finger slowly drawing small circles over my opening before lightly and teasingly pressing against me.
Pressing back against him, I threw my hands forward until they pressed against the titled wall to support myself as I pushed myself back against Adam’s hand, a soft hiss falling from my lips as I felt the pressure before it died down as he started to move his finger against me, soft lips pressing against my curved spine to comfort me as he started to slowly add another finger, feeling him curl them slightly and hit against a rough patch, I let a loud moan out and arched a little under his touch before I felt a large hand grip my hip holding me still.
‘’Fuck Adam....please’’ I groaned out as his hand pull away from me and his lips trail up towards my neck before his breath warm on my ear.
‘’Tell me what you want Tommy Joe’’ His voice was low and dripping with lust as my fingers pressed in to the grooves of the wall between the tiles.
‘’I want you Adam, I god damn want you’’ I yelled out at him, my body aching for his touch again and my hardness throbbing to be to be sorted out.
Strong hands gripped my hips again before I felt Adam push against me, a loud gasp leaving my lips as I his pressed against my shoulder blade. For a few seconds there were no movement, no sounds apart from our heavy breathing and the sound of the water beating down against our bodies and the tiles of the wall and floor.
‘’You okay baby?’’ Adam’s voice asked concerned and I couldn’t help but laugh slightly and nodded as I breathed out deeply.
‘’You ask if im okay, sexy Adam...real sexy’’ I breathed out to him before lightly pulling away a little from him and pushed back, a low groan coming from his lips as his fingers tightened on my hips.
‘’I know, Im sorry, I just don’t want to hurt you Tommy’’ He breathed out to me and I smirked a little and glanced back over my shoulder at him.
‘’Baby, if your going to have your ‘afternoon delight’ have it already before Sutan gets home’’ I growled out to him slightly before rolling my hips against his again, a curl on my lips as I watched Adam throw his head back a little before I looked back around and let my head drop slightly as I felt him start to move against me, his thrusts slow and long as a hand slipped of my waist and curled around on to my lower back as he pulled almost the whole way out and then snapped his hips back against mine quickly and hard,
‘’Fuck’’ I heard him groan out as his hand clamped down on my shoulder. Biting my lip as I rocked back on his every thrust, I let a low groan out before leaning my head against my arm on the wall.
Pushing back against Adam hard, I let my free arm move down and wrap around my hardness, a moan escaping as his hard thrust pushed me forward between my fingers as.
‘’Shit baby’’ I groaned out and tilted my head up again as I felt fingers tangle in my hair before tightening, a moan escaping my lips again as I parted my lips, twisting my wrist around slightly as I kept stroking myself I breathed out deeply and rocked back roughly against Adam again, his moans going louder before I felt fingernails digging in to my skin,
‘’Oh god Tommy’’ He groaned out before I felt his hardness throb inside me before the hotness spread through my body as he reached his climax and released, my own climax hitting at the same time.
Breathing out deeply, I felt Adam slowly pull out of me, a small hiss leaving my lips at the slight soreness before his body came to press back against mine, arms softly moving around my waist as I lent back in to him with heavy breaths.
Letting my head rest back against his shoulder, I brought a hand up and curled it around his neck slightly with a soft laugh before I pressed a light kiss to his jaw.
‘’Well that was different’’ I breathed out to him as he turned a little and smiled, his nose nudging against my cheek before I turned in his arms and laid against his chest again.
‘’I love you Adam’’ I whispered out to him as I lightly traced my fingers over his wet and sweaty skin.
‘’I know baby, I love you too, ‘’ Adam whispered back to me and I grinned before leaning up and pressed my lips back to his softly.
Pulling away I smiled at him before turning again and grabbed the shower gel and poured some more on to my hands before I turned back around and started to rub my hands over Adam’s chest with a smile before I slipped my hands down to his stomach before moving them back up to his shoulders and slipped them down his arms until my fingers slipped through his.
‘’I say your forgiven for last night’’ I whispered out to him with a grin as he laughed, hearing a door slam we both looked towards the bathroom door before laughing again knowing that Sutan was home.
‘’Okay, you finish up in here and I will be downstairs with a bowl of popcorn and a blanket on the couch with a film’’ Adam whispered to me as he moved us around and washed the soap of his body before pressing a short kiss to my lips again,
‘’Miss you already’’ I whispered out against his lips before I watched him climb out and wrapped a towel around his waist. ‘’Oh, I have my clothes laid out on your bed’’ I told him as I stuck my head around the curtain and he nodded with a smile before leaving the bathroom, A knowing smile on his lips.
Washing my body quickly, I climbed out of the shower and grabbed another towel before wrapping it tightly around my waist and started to walk towards Adam’s room again when I heard a crash from downstairs.
‘’Is everything alright down there?’’ I called out as I stood near the top of the stairs, a rather flushed Sutan soon appeared and looked up with a smile as he blushed,
‘’Its alright, Adam just surprised me that’s all’’ He told me and I smirked a little before nodding, turning away I walked back to Adam’s room again and over to my clothes which were still laid out on his bed.
Chapter 17: I need you now, please don’t leave
This chapter is set a few weeks later after the last chapter, I thought it was needed as I started out with the death of his parents, so I didnt want to leave a loose tie hanging around and thought that I should take a chapter for this.
‘I’ll leave the door on the latch
If you ever come back, if you ever come back
There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat
If you ever come back
There’ll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
There’ll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat.’
I watched as Adam paced along the living room floor, his long legs coated in slightly tight dress pants, feet caught up in shin high boots.
‘’Baby, sit down please’’ I whispered out to him before he paused and looked up at me his hands sliding out of their death grips around each other just to slide in to his pockets as he started to pace again, his lean torso held a crisp white shirt and a place tie, the jacket laid untouched on the back of the door before I sighed and stood up, my own clothing pretty much the same as I walked over to him and rested my hands against his chest to stop him, his blue eyes meeting mine sadly before he encased his arms around my body and pulled me against his chest tightly as he breathed out shakily.
‘’Its going to be alright Adam, you have me and Sutan and Mia beside you all the way okay baby’’ I whispered to him as I raised my chin up to rest against his chest as I looked up to his water filled eyes as he nodded.
‘’I...I just never thought I would be saying goodbye to them for the last time’’ He whispered to me and I nodded softly knowing what he meant.
‘’But you knew this day would come soon’’ I whispered as I reached up and wiped away a lone tear which slowly found itself slipping down his cheek. ‘’But your strong baby and your going to get through today just fine, its okay to cry if you want too, you don’t need to try and act strong in front of people’’ I whispered to him softly, his face turning in to my touch gently before I stood up on my toes and pressed a light kiss to the side of his mouth. ‘’You’re not going to through this on your own, we are all here to look after you so let us baby’’ I whispered to him again as footsteps came down the stairs and Mia walked in followed by Sutan.
Letting him go, I walked over towards the door and pulled his jacket off before dusting the shoulders off a little as I walked back over and held it out for him to slip his arms in to before he turned back around and I started to do the buttons up as Adam shakily reached out to fix my tie before I moved my hands up and stopped him, my fingers sliding through his before I brought them up and softly kissed his knuckles with a soft smile.
‘’You both look good’’ I told the others as I moved our hands down and looked over at them, Mia was dressed in a softly grey dress which came down to her knees with a small pair of boots on, her bright hair tied back with a black ribbon as she smiled at us and walked over hugging her small arms around Adam’s waist, turning to look at Sutan he smiled and held his arms out, for once he looked like a real gentlemen dressed in long black jeans with a black shirt and white tie, apart from the small cropped grey jacket and the pair of black heels he looked perfect as I walked over and in to his arms where he lent down to my ear.
‘’You’re too good for him, but im glad your both together because he needs someone like you today’’ He whispered to me and I blushed a little before nodding to him and smiled at him.
‘’But he wouldn’t be anywhere without you Sutan, your his best friend’’ I reminded him with a soft laugh before there was a knock at the door and I stifferened slightly to see Adam doing the same in Mia’s arms still, feeling Sutan’s soft hand pressed against my lower back, I walked back over towards them before Mia let him go and both her and Sutan walked out the room to answer the door and make they way towards the waiting cars outside to take us to the cemetery.
‘’Baby’’ I whispered to him as Adam buried his face in to my neck and held me tightly,
‘’I can’t do it Tommy, I can’t go and say goodbye’’ He sobbed out to me and I rubbed his back gently soothing him before I sighed.
‘’Yes you can Adam, come on, you will regret it if you don’t’’ I whispered to him before taking his hand softly and started to walk towards the doorway before he stopped me and I turned to face him with worry again as he looked at me. Watching as he stepped forward I turned fully back to face him again before I felt his hand on my jaw and his lips against mine deeply before pulling away and shut his eyes tightly.
‘’Thank you Tommy’’ He whispered, ‘’Forever thing, and I want you to have this’’ He whispered out to me again before letting my hand go to reach in to the pocket of his pants before he pulled out a long golden chain with an symbol at the end of it. ‘’It was Neil’s’’ He told me quietly as he unclasped it and started to move his hands up towards my neck before I stook a step back and stared at him.
‘’Adam, baby I can’t take it, it was your brothers, you should keep it’’ I tell him and he shook his head.
‘’Neil would’ve wanted to give it to you if he gotten to know the person you are Tommy’’ Adam whispered out to me as I watched his face, ‘’And I wanted you to wear it because you’re part of this all, my family, my boyfriend, if my parents and brother was alive they would’ve welcomed you with open arms too’’ He told me and I breathed out slightly before nodding and letting him move it around my neck before fastening the clip again and softly laid it over my clothes, his hand laying on my chest, over the symbol softly before he smiled at me.
‘’We were going to get matching tattoos when he was old enough’’ Adam told me sadly and I moved my hands back to his again and held them gently between mine before a soft voice was cleared behind me.
‘’We need to leave’’ Mia told us quietly and I nodded before telling her that we will be right there before I turned back to see the panic in Adam’s eyes before I held his hands tightly.
‘’You can still get them baby, I will get it for Neil’’ I told him and he smiled softly before nodding.
‘’That would be nice, but you don’t have too’’ He told me and I laughed softly before leaning up and kissed his cheek gently.
‘’I want to, but we have to go now baby’’ I told him and he nodded slightly before letting me lead him out, pausing slightly to lock the door, I pushed the keys in to my pocket before I held his hand tightly and walked towards the car before watching Adam as he slipped in to the back seats and I slowly climbed in behind him.
The car ride was quiet as I kept hold of Adam’s hand tightly, fingers entwined and laid on the seats between us as our eyes roamed outside the windows as the car moved along the streets and towards the church and cemetery, I knew it was going to be hard on Adam because he wanted to burry his parents and his brother on the same day so he didn’t have to go through all the pain over again and I didn’t blame him for wanting that. I would’ve been the same if I was him.
‘’Tommy’’ Adam’s voice was soft but loud enough for me to hear as I slowly turned my head and looked over at him as he sadly looked at me, ‘’I love you so much’’ He whispered and I smiled at him softly before nodding.
‘’I know you do baby’’ I told him back before he shook his head and I frowned slightly.
‘’I mean it, I love you. And I want you to always know that, I don’t want to wake up one day to find that your not there by my side without me telling you that I love you’’ I listened to his words before blushing slightly.
‘’I love you too Adam and im always going to be here with you’’ I told him before leaning over and gently kissed his cheek before undoing my seatbelt and slipped over closer to him, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as he rested his head on my own shoulder. ‘’Im never going to leave you’’ I whispered in to his hair. Before either of us knew it, the car came to a stop outside the church and I felt Adam tense slightly before I gently kissed the top of his head.
‘’Go and wait with Sutan, I will make sure everything is ready inside for us’’ I whispered before we climbed out the car. Kissing him softly I smiled before starting to walk towards the church and through the small arch before my boots made a crunching sound under foot as I made my way towards the open doors where a few people was standing, nodding in greeting I past them and walked inside and slowly, trying to quieting my footsteps as I headed further in to the church to see a lot of people already sat waiting, a few turning to see me before turning back to whisper and I knew that it was because of who I was, they all knew me for the guy who made Adam’s life living hell, seeing the vicar, he nodded to me before I turned and quickly left again, the mutters fallen behind me as I made my way back to the cars and to where everyone else was, passing Mia, I hugged her quickly and kissed her cheek before I made my way over to Sutan and Adam. My height for once was the same as them due to my boots as I took Adam’s hand again and walked towards the funeral cars with them both.
Watching as Sutan and a few other people who I didn’t really know stood behind the first car, I watched with Adam as they carefully pulled the coffin out the back before moving it up on to their shoulders and made their way towards the church, Adam’s hand tightening around mine as we stood together watching his friends and family take his parents inside the church, leaving us with two other people.
‘’Are you ready?’’ I asked him and he turned to look at me with tears in his eyes already before he nodded and we walked to the last car and took our places before carefully pulling the last coffin out, moving it up on to our shoulders, I reached over and braced my arm over his shoulder as he done the same with me, waiting for the other two to rest the coffin softly on their shoulders, soft whispers of ready reached out to our ears before we started to move towards the church.
Holding one hand to the cold wood which lightly pressed against my cheek, I could feel Adam trembling slightly under my other hand as we slowly walked in to the church, low murmurs stopping before a few started up again at my presence before his arm moved from mine and I felt fingers around my arm trying to tug it off his shoulders, moving it I let my fingers slide down his arm until they wrapped around his, my eyes low on the ground as we walked before reaching the front and his hand left mine and we settled the coffin down on the stand.
Watching Adam carefully as he stood there, I could see a tear sliding down his cheek before I walked around and wrapped my arm around his waist and led him towards the pew before carefully sitting him down and settled myself down next to him, my hand in his tightly as he held Sutan’s with his other hand.
‘’I do believe that Adam wanted to say a few words’’ The vicar started to speak a little before he turned towards Adam and nodded a little before moving out the way, squeezing Adam’s hand softly I smiled at him before I let it go and watched as he slowly stood and walked over to where the vicar had been standing. I felt an arm around me and I looked up to see that Sutan had scooted over and pulled me against him with a soft smile before I turned back to Adam, his hands shaking as he pulled a crumpled page out his pocket.
‘’The day of the accident was so normal, I never once thought about the principle and officers who came to the classroom was going to be for me, nor did I ever think that I would get pulled out half way through class and be told that my parents had...had been in an accident and died, I didn’t want to believe them nor did I want to believe that my baby brother was fighting for his life as I found myself breaking down in the middle of a school hall way. ‘’ Adam’s voice was shaky as he spoke and I bit my lip softly and lowered my head a little as Sutan squeezed my shoulder gently. ‘’That day felt like nothing before and I soon found myself sitting beside Neil’s bed every day for nearly a month, just talking to him....talking about how he would’ve found the nurses tending to him cute’’ A strangled laugh escaped his lips as a few people laughed, ‘’Because that was Neil, always looking for the pretty girls, teasing me about how I was missing out by going after all the pretty boys instead. But I told him everything, told him secrets about how when we were younger that, it was me who used to hide his small action figures and then watch as he searched high and low, annoying dad by digging holes in to the garden and making mom screaming by digging up her roses.’’ The smile faded from his lips a little and I felt my heart skip a few beats as he closed his eyes and let a tear slip down before he opened them again and took a deep breath.
‘’Of course I always gave them back to him, saying that I had found them under his bed where he had last left them after he played, and stupid Neil always believed me. Sitting beside Neil’s bed for that month made me think about a lot...about the past....our parents. Growing up, our parents always...told us...that...that...’’ I felt Sutan nudge me slightly and I looked up at him before he nodded to Adam and I nodded slightly before I stood and walked over to the beautiful boy I called mine and wrapped my arm around his waist softly before I took the page from him, his body turning in to mine as tears fell more freely now.
‘’Growing up, our parents always told us that, if we didn’t believe in something enough, that it wouldn’t come true and I used to think that they only said it to make Neil happy until that day.’’ I spoke out softly as I read Adam’s words, the church silent apart from deep breaths and a few sobs as I soothed my hand over his side softly.
‘’I never believed that in a million years that one person would be able to change the way you felt by a single touch and a few words but it happened and it scared me as I took in all the words our parents ever told us about love and friendships. To keep your enemies closer were safer than keeping your friends closer, ‘’ I breathed out slightly as I felt my own tears start to prick at my eyes as I held Adam closer and tighter to me as I started to read again.
‘’Then one day changed and I just wanted everything to end, I had the letter written out and the method planned down to the very last minute, but I got a phone call asking about the spare room I had advertised and forgotten about, a kind voice was on the other end which made me think and stop. In a…’’ I chocked out slightly as I looked at the words my eyes briefly looking up at Adam still curled in to my chest before I breathed deeply and turned back,
‘’In a way, Tommy made my life hell for years but he was the one who saved my life that night. He spoke to me like a normal person and didn’t ask how I was coping or if I wanted to talk about it. Instead we just spent time together and when I got myself drunk, Tommy helped me home and took care of me like anyone would’ve carried for someone, he took care of me like Sutan would’ve done if he came across someone in need of a fashion sense badly’’ A few laughs broke out again and I looked up at him as he held his hands to his face slightly to hide his blush. ‘’The days which followed that night was special, not only did I find a new person as a friend, but I also found a solid foundation to keep me strong. Then Tommy told me about his own parents and how they had died when he was younger and it broke my heart to hear how his father who should’ve been there to protect his son and wife from the horrors was the one to be the horrors’’ I felt a cold tear roll down my own cheek and I turned slightly and kissed the top of Adams head as he shifted and held me tightly, his face still buried in to my neck, his tears making it wet.
‘’But I saw how Tommy had over come his fears and how he taught himself to be strong and not to let anything hurt him, and I had always believed that Tommy wasn’t the bully he was made out to be and I was right, he wasn’t. Recently I found out some news which hurt me a lot and hurt Tommy physically when he was beating up on the way home, just because he outted himself to the whole school when I found out about Neil passing, he held me in front of everyone and comforted me, let me cry in to his shoulders, to let my pain out. Tommy was there when I needed him, he’s been there when I just needed someone to tell me that it would be okay, to tell me to be strong.’’ I spoke out, my voice shaking as I read the words, not believing that he had writing this about me.
‘’So when my parents told me to believe for what I believed in and to fight for what I wanted, I did and now I have friends who I can trust and a…a wonderful boyfriend who holds me together when I feel like breaking apart. Without Tommy coming in to my life, I would probably be here right now but beside my brother and parents in the wooden boxes as someone else stands here to say some words.’’ I finished reading his words before reaching up and wiped my own eyes before I turned more and hugged in to Adam more before I kissed his cheek softly and made him look up at me before I wiped his eyes clear and took his hand in mine and walked back over to our seats, my arms still around him, holding him close as I rested my head against his shoulder, eyes closed as his words sunk in deeper in to my mind. As the vicar stood and started to say a few other things.
Before we knew it, we were standing side by side again with his brothers coffin balanced on our shoulders, arms linked as we walked out behind the vicar as he led out to the cemetery, people whispering as we past, others touching our shoulders softly with soft eyes before I let mine lower to the floor again and I held Adam’s shoulder a little tighter as we walked, soft music playing the background as we walked back out in to the sunshine of the afternoon.
Holding on to Adam tightly as we all stood silently around the graves as the coffins were lowered, I let my hand rub gentle circles in to his lower back and rested my head against his shoulder, his against my head.
‘’Adam, I truly am sorry for your loss, your aunt and me will always have our doors open for you’’ Came a male’s voice and I felt him look up as I kept my eyes on the ground as people started to walked away once the service was over.
‘’And Tommy, thank you’’ I looked up surprised slightly when they spoke to me, ‘’I can see how much you mean to each other and I hope that lasts, your parents would’ve been proud of you’’ He tells me and I smiled softly before nodding a little.
‘’Thank you sir’’ I whispered out quietly to him as he smiled and patted Adam’s shoulder gently before leaving.
‘’Baby, we should get going’’ I whispered to Adam once everyone had left and it was just us left standing there by the open graves still,
‘’I miss them’’ He whispered and I nodded before pressing a kiss to his clothed shoulder and shut my eyes a little,
‘’I know baby, I know’’ I told him before opening them again and looked up at his tear stained but makeup free face, his freckles shining softly under the sun light as I reached up and gently brushed my hand over his cheek, his eyes fluttering down to mine before he lent down and kissed me softly his arms circling around my waist as he pulled away and hugged me tightly.
‘’I meant every word I wrote’’ He whispered in to my ear and I found myself just nodding as tears came to my eyes again.
‘’Come on, lets go home’’ I whispered before pulling away and took his hand softly as we turned and started to walk towards the cars again.
‘’Tommy’’ Adam whispered and I glanced up at him with a smile before he returned it softly.
‘’I know baby, I love you too’’ I whispered.
Chapter 18: Distance - Adam
‘’Tommy, are you awake?’’ I whispered in to his dark bedroom, a small groan told me that he was awake but on the verge of fallen asleep, walking in, I closed the door silently behind me and crept over to where his bed laid before I slipped in, my arms moving out to wrap around his small frame when he turned over and laid facing away from me, a harsh silence falling over us before his breathing faded out lighter. Tommy was asleep.
Laying awake for a while I thought about everything which had happened in the past month and bit, my parents and Neil’s funerals and then they way Tommy had seemed to change in the week which had just past, his moods changing quickly from each other, the way seemed to stay away more, come home drunk more often, locking himself away in his room or hiding away on the computer. I sighed softly and turned over to face him, my fingers lightly tracing over the back of his arms before I shifted closer and wrapped my arm around his waist, my face softly burying in to his shoulder as I sighed.
Another night of him sleeping in his own bed,
Another night of me sneaking in to lay with him,
Another night of him turning away from me,
Another day, another night of not kissing him like I wanted too,
Another night where Tommy wasn’t mine…
‘’Adam, come on wake up, we said 9:30, not 10:45’’ Sutan’s voice called out through the house as I started to stir slightly in the bed, my eyes blinking open slowly to a bright room before I glanced over to see an empty bed beside me, a frown falling over my face as I untangled myself from the bed sheets and Tommy’s smell as I pushed myself to my feet before I left Tommy’s room and walked over in to mine where I got dressed in a loose fitting white shirt and a pair of dark jeans before I slipped my feet in to a pair of socks and boots as I picked my jacket up and walked downstairs to where Sutan was stood waiting against the wall for me.
‘’Oh good, your up at last’’ Sutan winked out at me as I nodded slightly and picked my keys and wallet up of the side table,
‘’Have you seen Tommy yet?’’ I asked him hopefully as I let my eyes scan along the hallway to the kitchen where the door was stood wide open, sunlight filling in to the empty room and fell in to the hallway.
‘’Not sure, he wasn’t down here when I got in at 9 this morning, I thought that he was still in bed’’ Sutan told me before he sighed and walked over to me, his arms wrapping around me tightly as he rested his head on my shoulder, ‘’ Is he still being distant?’’ He asked and I nodded slightly before turning in to him,
‘’Yeah, its been a week now’’ I shrugged out to him, ‘’He isn’t my Tommy anymore’’ I sighed before I pushed away and shoved my keys in to my pocket along with my wallet and phone as I turned back and smiled softly at Sutan, ‘’Come on, I could do with the distraction today’’ I told him as he beamed and jumped for the front door and was out of it before I could even notice.
Together we left the house and I locked the door behind us as Sutan carried on to the car, following him I walked over and pulled the door open before getting inside as he started it up already, waiting for me before we pulled out of the drive and he drove towards the main city, for once the Saturday morning traffic was pretty clear as we talked, laughed and sang along with the radio together, my mind not thinking about Tommy for once since this morning as Sutan found a space somewhere close to the shops and pulled up, the car being turned off before we both climbed out.
‘’First thing first, you need to get some root touch up before your hair shoes any more roots of yours and people start to notice, im not letting my friend walk around two toned’’ Sutan told me as he grabbed my hand and started to pull me down the street, a laugh bubbling from my lips as I quickly caught up and started to walk beside him, getting to the store, I walked around slowly glancing at the different colors as Sutan searched for the ‘best’,
‘’Hey I was thinking, maybe that we should go to Jake’s for lunch and maybe a drink after we’ve done a bit of shopping?’’ I asked him as I turned and walked over to where Sutan was looking at two different boxes.
‘’Sounds good enough for me, just as long as you’re paying baby’’ He winked out as he placed one box back and walked around me, his foots leading him towards the cashiers as I shook my head with a grin and followed him over.
‘’Adam, they look fine on you’’ Sutan told me as I turned around in front of the full length mirror once again, my eyes scanning over the jeans which I was trying on before I looked over my shoulder at him,
‘’Are you sure? They look a little tight’’ I told him and he placed his hand over his eyes for a while before sighing and stood, walking over to me, he pressed a perfect finger nail in to my chest before raising an eyebrow
‘’They…Are…Fine’’ Sutan pointed out with each word, ‘’Now stop moaning and buy them already, Christ I swear by now you would’ve normally of brought half the store by now’’ He laughed and placed his hands against my shoulders as he turned me and pushed me back in to the small fitting room before heading back over to the chair which he was sitting on while waiting for me. Pulling the curtain shut again, I undone the buttons on the jeans before slipping them off and pulled my own clothing back on again and picked my boots up as I walked out of the fitting room and over towards Sutan where I sat down next to him and handed him the jeans while I done my boots back up again around my ankles and moved my jeans down over the top.
‘’Are you ready to go to lunch now?’’ Sutan asked as we paid for the clothes and left the store, the bright sunlight warming us instantly as I nodded with a smile, ‘’But first we are dumping these bags in the car’’ Sutan laughed out as he motioned to the bags in both of our hands and I laughed softly,
‘’I so agree for once’’ I tell him as we started to walk back down and crossed the street towards the car, bags by the back as Sutan opened the trunk and started to put them away and I leant against the side of the car, my eyes on the ground just ahead of me while my fingers traced over the outline of my phone in my pocket, slowly I pulled it out and unlocked it to see nothing new flashing across the screen.
No sign that Tommy existed in my life other than the photo of us together, curled on the couch and holding a bowl of popcorn between us as we laughed at the film.
Pushing it back in to the safety of my pocket again I turned and picked the last bag up before handing it to Sutan with a smile who placed it away and pushed the trunk closed, locking it quickly as he brushed his hands together and grinned, ‘’To Jake’s then’’ He smiled and I nodded as our feet fell in to place together and we made our way down the side walk and towards the bar.
Cold air greeted us as we pushed the door open and stepped inside the quiet bar, a few people was scatted around here and there, some having lunch, others just talking while others just sat alone. Taking a seat at the far end of the bar with Sutan, I looked around again before I turned back as Jake started to walk towards us.
‘’Hey Jake’’ I greeted him kindly as I reached over for the menu and pulled it closer to me,
‘’Hey Adam, Sutan, what can I get you guys today?’’ He asked as I quickly scanned the menu before handing it over to Sutan as I looked up and smiled at him,
‘’I’ll just have your chicken sandwich and a beer’’ I told him, his head nodding slightly as he wrote it down on the small pad in his hands before he looked up at Sutan as he spoke and ordered the same thing.
‘’It won’t be long’’ He tells us and I nod softly before watching him walk away and in to the kitchen as I glanced around the bar, my eyes taking in everything slowly before I turned back and noticed Jake walking back towards us again, two beers in his hands as I pulled my phone and wallet out on the surface, my fingers pressing down on my screen to highlight it to see nothing still, sighing, I placed it back down again and took a few bucks out and left them on top of the bar in front of me.
‘’Still nothing from Tommy’’ Sutan asked and I shook my head as I picked the beer up which Jake had laid out before us, the cold bottle being pressed to my lips as I glanced down at the bar.
‘’Tommy was here not that long ago’’ Jake told us as both I and Sutan snapped our eyes up to him as he spoke.
‘’He was? When did he leave’’ Sutan asked, Jake crossed his arms and leant against the other side of the bar as he glanced over at the clock and then back to us again,
‘’I would say about 15 minutes ago, so just before you guys came in actually’’ Jake said with a nod, ‘’God knows why he was he so early, hell he was even here all opened up before I turned up at 8 this morning’’ Jake muttered out to us before he nodded and walked off to serve someone who had walked up to the bar on the other side.
My eyes were back on the bar surface again as I breathed out slightly and raised the beer bottle back to my lips,
‘’That means he left even before it was fully light outside’’ Sutan mumbled out, my fingers itching to check my phone again for Tommy, although I knew that I wouldn’t of had anything from him come through since the last time I had checked. ‘’Adam’’ Sutan’s voice softly called my name out and I slowly looked up at him from my thoughts, ‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked and I forced a smile out as I sat up a little and placed my drink back down as I nodded to him.
‘’Im fine, just thinking’’ I told him as he rubbed my arm softly as one of the kitchen help walked over with our lunches in her hands. For a while we ate silently, not really taking notice of anything around us before I pushed my plate away full and finished the rest of my beer off before I balanced it on top of the empty plate, ‘’I want to go get some new flowers, the ones on their graves would’ve started to wilt and die by now’’ I told Sutan randomly as he looked over, caught off guard with my words before he nodded and smiled, knowing that there would be no point in trying to fight me about it.
‘’Want me to come with you again baby?’’ Sutan asked and I looked at him before slowly shaking my head no with a small smile,
‘’I think I will be alright on my own this time, but could you drop me off there?’’ I asked him and he grinned,
‘’of course Adam’’ He told me and I nodded softly before letting it fall in to a comfortable silence as Sutan finished his lunch off.
Ten minutes later, I found myself and Sutan walking in to a flower shop, our eyes scanning over each and every different color flower there as we talked quietly trying to work out what to get before a beaded curtain at the back of the shop moved and a middle aged women came walking out, wiping her hands on the apron which was tied around her neck and waist.
‘’Adam, these would be perfect for your parents’’ Sutan told me as I turned to see him walking over with a mixture of red, white and pink roses in his hands. At the same time the lady walked over with a bright smile,
‘’Good afternoon,’’ She greeted us as I smiled back, ‘’is everything alright or do you need any help?’’ She asked and I thought about it for a while as I looked over at Sutan and then back to the women again,
‘’I was looking for something which speaks out, ‘you annoyed the living hell out of me’ but I still really miss you’’ I told her with a small grin, the words making her think slightly before she turned and started to gather different flowers together.
‘’Would this work?’’ She asked as she walked back over and took in the assortment of different colored flowers in her hands before I laughed softly and nodded,
‘’They are perfect, Neil would’ve laughed so hard at these is he could see them’’ I spoke out as Sutan grinned over at me, ‘’I’ll take them and the roses’’ I told her as we walked over to the till and she started to wrap them up in a plastic wrapping, her smile still on her face as she worked and didn’t question the tense which I had spoke in.
A couple of moments later, we walked back out the shop with a bunch of flowers in each of our arms we made our way back towards the car again, waiting for Sutan to unlock it, I pulled the back car seat door open and crouched inside slightly as I laid the flowers on the soft seats and stood back up right again and turned to take the roses off from Sutan and laid them down before closing the door and walked around to the passenger’s side door, opening it, I slid back inside and pulled it closed as I buckled myself in and sat back.
‘’Do you think that Neil would like them?’’ I asked Sutan once he had gotten in and started the car up, buckling himself up he started the smiled,
‘’Like you said, he would laugh at them if he saw them darling’’ He told me with a soft smile as he reached over and placed a soft hand on my leg, ‘’He would know that you miss him, they all would Adam’’ I nodded softly to his words and smiled lightly which Sutan returned again as he took his hand off my leg and moved it to the steering wheel of the car as he carefully pulled out of the parking space which we were using and out on to the main road.
As we drove silently, I couldn’t help but sink in to my thoughts as I watched out the window as the world whizzed by quickly, why would Tommy leave home so early for and open up at the bar, for Jake O I knew that he had a set of spare keys for the place for when Jake was away or for when he couldn’t open up for any reason.
‘’Adam, you’re mumblering to yourself’’ Sutan’s words pulled my eyes away from the window and over to him where he glanced towards me with worried eyes,
‘’Sorry’’ I told him quietly as I toyed with the outline of my phone in my pocket again before I pulled it out and unlocked it, my thumb sliding across the screen until I came to a stop on Tommy’s name and pressed the call button as I held my phone up to my ear, almost instantly his voicemail came on and I sighed a little, ‘’Tommy..just…just talk to me baby please, I miss you, your smile everything’;’ I spoke quietly in to the phone as I left an message for him, ‘’I just want to know what’s going on…I love you’’ I sighed out before hanging up and pushed my phone back in to my pocket again as I ignored the glance from Sutan.
I could feel Sutan’s eyes glance over at me every so often as I leant against the car door, my head resting against the cool glass, eyes closed to the world as I tried to forget about everything which was going on today and in the past week between Tommy and me.
‘’Babe, are you sure that you want to do this alone?’’ Sutan asked once the car had come to a standstill outside the church gates and I sat staring up at them before I turned and looked at him,
‘’No, I need to do this, I mean there’s going to come a time when I want to come visit them and no one is going to be around or going to be free to come with me’’ I tell him as he nodded.
‘’Okay, at least let me help you with the flowers so I can say a quick hello and then I will come back here and wait for you’’ Sutan told me and I smiled softly,
‘’Thank you but you don’t need to worry about waiting, I want to spend a little while with them before walking home again’’ I told him as I pushed the door open and got out, Sutan following quickly as I took the flowers out the back seat and handed some to him as I picked the others up and closed the door again behind me.
The walk was quiet apart from out boots crunching on the stony pathway as we made our way past the church quickly and through another set of large gates as headstones started to scatter around us on either side before they slowly grew to more and more, turning down a slightly more worn path, I let my eyes scan across the grassy areas and headstones before they rested over two black ones and I walked over towards them, the flowers there already wilting and dying as I looked up at Sutan with a smile.
‘’Good to see you again Mama and papa Lambert’’ Sutan spoke out as h softly as we stepped in front of the stones, ‘’don’t you worry about your boy, Im looking after Adam real good’’ He told one of the stones as he laid the flowers down in front of them, ‘’And don’t think I haven’t forgotten about you mister’’ Sutan said as he turned to look at Neil’s grave, ‘’I still have plenty of things to embarrass you with’’ Hearing his words, I couldn’t help but laugh softly which caused him to turn and step over to me with a smile as he took the flowers from my arms and laid them down before turning back to wrap his arms around me tightly, his lips pressed softly against my cheek as he pulled away again, ‘’Call me if you need anything okay’’ He told me and I nodded softly, ‘’Alright, I will see you later’’ He told me as he stepped away and turned back to the graves, ‘’And I will come visit you guys again soon, but your boy wants time’’ Sutan told the headstones as he blew them both a kiss.
‘’Bye Sutan, and thanks’’ I called out to him softly as he started to walk way, a smile on his lips as he went.
Putting the flowers to the side, I moved around and picked up the pots which held the old flowers and walked over to the nearby bins to empty them and throw the flowers away before refilling the small pots with fresh water again from the tap before I carefully started to walk back over again, placing them down in front of each grave, I gently kneeled down in front of my parents grave and pulled the roses back to me again as I started to undo the plastic wrapping and arrange them in to the pot neatly before doing the same again with Neil’s, silently standing up, I took the rubbish over to the bins and threw it away again before walking back over and sat down between the two graves, my chin resting in my hand as I sat quietly, just thinking about all the memories which I still had locked away.
‘’You know, school has planted some sort of tree for you Neil, a lot of people are still leaving things around it for you’’ I told my brother as I let my eyes run over the flowers, ‘’They still me how much they miss you and your stupid little jokes’’ I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, ‘’I miss your cooking mom and how you would check up on me even after Sutan has’’ I laughed out to myself, ‘’I still expect to come home sometimes and see you all there in the apartment, Neil sat out in front of the tv being his annoying self and then you either cooking or cleaning in the kitchen and dad sat at the table reading something which has been left out or his newspaper’’ I whispered out as I breathed out deeply and smiled sadly, my hands reaching up to wipe away the few tears which had gathered there, ‘’Wow, if you were here still, you would be calling me crazy for talking to you like would reply to me’’ I laughed out softly again.
‘’Your not crazy son’’ A voice spoke out from behind me, making me jump as I turned around to see an old man standing smiling at me, ‘’I still talk to my wife’’ He told me and I smiled softly before standing, wiping my jeans off, I turned to face him fully. ‘’Come walk with me’’ He told me and I glanced at the graves before turning back and nodded slightly and started to walk further up the path towards the slightly older part of the cemetery.
‘’Im William, or Billy as I used to be called ’’ the old man told me and I smiled softly,
‘’Adam’’ I told him with a small nod as I pushed my hands in to my pockets.
‘’Well it’s nice to meet you Adam’’ William spoke out to me as we reached a bench and sat down on it, ‘’and this here is my darling Mary’’ He told me, his stick pointing across to a faded stone which he was smiling at fondly
‘’How long were you both married for?’’ I asked him as I turned to look back towards him again,
‘’Fifty-two years, childhood sweethearts’’ He smiled out, ‘’The love of my life, weren’t you Mary, I looked after you and you looked after me’’ Williams words were warm and made me smile as he spoke to her like I was doing with my own family, the love still clear in his voice.
Looking at her headstone again, I slowly noticed that she didn’t have any flowers and that there was a few weeds around the base of it, I frowned slightly before I turned to see William watching me with a sad smile,
‘’I haven’t been able to bend down to lay anything or clean in a long time Adam, it’s a price to pay with the old age’’ He told me before I had an idea and smiled at him.
‘’Stay right here, I will be back as soon as I can’’ I told him as I stood and quickly jogged my way back down the path until I reached my parents grave again and I smiled at them before knelling and picked out two roses, one red and the other white.. ‘’I hope you don’t mind guys, that you understand’’ I whispered to them with a smile as I started to walk back to where William was still sat talking to Mary before he turned to look at me as I crossed over to her grave, ‘’I hope Mary will like them’’ I told him as I crouched down and cleared the pot out before refilling it and placed the two roses in before moving it back in front of the grave again and walked back over to the bench where I sat back down again.
‘’Thank you Adam, as kind as it was, you didn’t have to do that for us’’ He told me and I shook my head softly,
‘’I wanted too and my parents would understand’’ I told him with a smile, ‘’If you don’t mind me asking sir, when did Mary pass away?’’ I asked softly as I looked back to him.
‘’It will be 15 years now’’ He told me and I looked down a little, ‘’I’ve been coming here three days every week for the past 15 years to talk to her’’ William smiled out to me and I nodded softly, I couldn’t ever think about my family being gone for that long, it seemed to hard.
‘’How did you cope… with her being gone all of a sudden’’ I asked, my eyes on my jeans as I ran my fingers over the fabric, ‘’I mean, its been nearly two months now since my parents was killed in a accident and about a month since my little brother passed away’’ I told William as he listened silently, ‘’And this is the first time I’ve come here and stayed on my own without my best friend or boyfriend being with me’’’ I told him sadly.
‘’It does take time Adam, it might take you a month, it might take you nearly a year to get other their deaths’’ William told me, ‘’My Mary was my love, she was my whole existence and when she died, I didn’t have anyone to talk too, all our children was grown up and with their own families’’ William paused and looked towards Mary, ‘’ I still often think about the summer times when we were young, my Mary would look so beautiful in the sunshine’’ He smiled before reaching in to his jacket and pulled out his wallet before opening it and handed me an old black and white photograph.
‘’She is beautiful’’ I told him with a smile as he nodded and I handed the photo back, watching as he carefully put it back inside and put his wallet away again.
‘’All I have now are memories and photographs, but I like coming here just to talk to Mary, I still feel her around us some days when I do, so never feel crazy for talking to them son, just because they are no longer with us, doesn’t mean that they don’t hear us’’ William smiled at me which I returned before he reached out and tapped my chest just about my heart, ‘’They are always in here when you need them the most Adam’’ I watched as he stood up and walked closer to the headstone, ‘’You be good now Mary, you hear me, I will be back in a few days my love’’ William whispered out to her and I smiled softly to myself as he started to walk away, I stood quickly and faced towards him.
‘’William’’ I called out to him softly and waited until he had turned to look at me before I carried on talking, ‘’would you mind if I came back to visit Mary sometimes? Bring her flowers and talk to her aswell when I come to visit my own family?’’ I asked him shyly, my boots being shifted slightly in the dirt as he smiled.
‘’We would like that Adam, thank you’’ William smiled, a gentle nod later and he was walking back down the path again as I turned back to Mary and smiled, walking across to her I knelt down as my hands started to tidy up the ground around her stone a little.
‘’I have to go now Mary, but I promise to come visit you again soon’’ I told her with a smile and soft hand on top of her stone, ‘’It was nice meeting you and William today’’ I told her before I started to walk away again, looking around as I walked, I took in all the stones before my eyes fell on a figure crouch down on one knew in front of a grave, blonde hair waving slightly in the light wind as he reached up and wiped at his eyes as he stood and turned towards someone. Taking a few steps forward I could see Tommy clearly as a girl walked up to him and encased him in a hug which he returned quickly before they pulled away and Tommy said something to her to make the girl laugh as she reached up and wiped at his face.
I could feel my heart skipping slightly as she smiled and ran her hand through Tommy’s hair, it couldn’t be what I was thinking because Tommy loved me, and I knew he did…Didn’t he? I watched as the girl looked up and her eyes landed on me before her lips were moving in speech to Tommy before he turned and I watched as his eyes widened, breathing out, I quickly turned away and started to head down the path and towards the exit when I felt the tears start to form in my eyes again.
‘’Adam, wait please’’ I hears Tommy’s voice call out to me before footsteps slowly down near me, ‘’Please baby, I can explain’’ his voice breathed out to me again before I turned to look at him,
‘’Explain what, explain that you have acted like a complete stranger towards me this past week?’’ I asked, ‘’Explain why you wont even talk to me or why you left the house before I was even awake without saying anything, so that I’ve spent most of the day worried about you?’’ My voice breaking slightly as a few tears fell and Tommy looked down before stepping closer and laid his hand on my neck softly.
‘’I love you so much Adam’’ Tommy whispered to me as he leant up to kiss me, turning my head away, I felt another tear fall.
‘’don’t touch me after her’’ I breathed out to him as I stepped away, his hand fallen away from me, ‘’I should’ve known that this was the reason’’ I whispered out to him, a frown appearing over his face before his eyes went wide again.
‘’Baby no’’ He whispered out to me and I held my hands up to stop him coming closer as I shook my head.
‘’Just…just don’t come tonight’’ I tell him before turning and started to walk away again.
Away from Tommy calling my name…
Before I felt hands wrapping around me, pushing him away, I watched as he fell backwards on to the ground and I swallowed slightly, wanting to help him up again, ‘’Just leave me alone for a while Tommy, please’’ I tell him as I stared at the ground and refused to look in to his tear stained eyes before I turned and walked away from him for the second time, my eyes slowly filling with tears as I pulled my phone out and dialed Sutan’s number.
‘’Can you please come pick me up’’ I breathed out, ‘’I think I just broke up with Tommy’’ I whispered out as a tear slowly fell down over my cheek, quickly being followed by more as I told him where to get me.
Chapter 19: Roses
‘’I don’t want to live without you’’ He whispered in to my ear as he lifted his head slightly and a shiver ran through my body and I softly closed my eyes, my hands sprawled out over his shoulders and finger softly curled over them, clutching at his top.
‘’You don’t have too’’ I whispered back to him, eyes still closed as I felt his breath ghost over my cheek before it was followed by a light brush of his lips, my own parting slightly before I slowly opened my eyes to look up at him.
Again this chapter would not of happened if I didn't have my inspiration to help me out, all this came from the idea of one song she told me about and a little idea of hers and before I knew it, everything was slotting in to place together <3
And this chapter is for her as today is her birthday <3 So happy birthday again baby :)
‘’I guess it’s been a long time
Since I let you in
I know there is so much to say
Where to begin’’
Fingering the rose between my hands, I walked slowly before my eyes found the headstone I hadn’t seen in nearly five years, crouching down in front of it slowly, I reached out and brushed the tips of my fingers over the small photo which was attached to the rock and I smiled a little before I looked down ashamed for how long it had really been, after moms funeral, I had visited only once with my grandparents for her birthday and now here I was again, five years later, all because of one letter.
A gust of wind blew across me and my hair moved in it gently before falling over my eyes slightly as I looked back up at the small photo on the old stone, it was faded from the sunlight and there was water damage from the rain over the years but moms smiling face was still staring back out at me from behind the glass, breathing out deeply, I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I closed my eyes against the quietness.
‘’Tommy’’ A soft voice called out and I quickly reached up and wiped my tears away before I stood and looked towards the girl who was walking towards me, stepping forward, I smiled slightly at her before she quickly moved closer and wrapped her arms around me in a hug which I returned tightly as I felt another tear fall down over my cheeks.
‘’After everything and all the places on earth, I finally get to meet you in a cemetery’’ I told her, ‘’Morbid or what’’ I muttered and she pulled away laughing softly before she moved a hand up and wiped away the tears which had fallen.
‘’You look so much like here’’ She whispered to me before running her hand through my hair gently, her eyes moving over my appearance and I looked down slightly with a blush on my cheeks as her hands rested on my shoulders. ‘’He’s hot but its kinder creepy with how he is watching us’’ She whispered to me and I looked up at her confused before she nodded over my shoulder slightly, turning, I let my eyes wonder before they fell on someone stood near the path, realizing that it was Adam, I froze slightly as he turned and started to walk away,
‘’One second’’ I told her as I turned and started to jog after him, his long legs taking long strides as I started to move faster, ‘’Adam, wait please’’ I called out to him when I was closer and I slowed down slightly, my breathing heavy from running, ‘’Please baby, I can explain’’ I told him before he quickly turned to look at me,
‘’Explain what, explain that you have acted like a complete stranger towards me this past week?’’ He asked me and I swallowed slightly, ‘’Explain why you won’t even talk to me or why you left the house before I was even awake without saying anything so that I’ve spent most of the day worried about you?’’ I watched Adam speak, his voice breaking. Seeing a tear fall down his cheek, I looked down and took a deep breath as I stepped closer and looked back up at him, my hand reaching up to lay against his neck softly,
‘’I love you so much Adam’’ I whispered to him, trying to make him know that I did as I leant up to kiss him, seeing him turn his head away and a tear fall, I felt my heart tighten slightly in my chest.
‘’don’t touch me after her’’ Adam said quietly, my hand fallen back down to my side as he stepped away, ‘’I should’ve known that this was the reason for everything this week’’ He whispered to me and I frowned slightly, confused with what he meant as I thought about it before it came to me, he thought that I was cheating on him..
‘’Baby, no.’’ I breathed out, going to take a step forward, I watched as he held his hands up to stop me from getting near him as he took another step back,
‘’Just…Just don’t come home tonight’’ He told me and I felt my heart break slightly as he turned and started to walk away from me again, my senses slow as I watched him,
‘’Adam wait’’ I called out to him, ‘’Adam’’ I shouted to him before I ran after him, my hands wrapping around his wrists before he turned and pushed me away, my eyes full of tears as I stumbled back and lost my footing on the loose gravel path, falling to the ground, I felt my arm scarp against it sharply as I stared up at Adam, shocked slightly that he had gotten physical with me.
‘’Just leave me alone for a while Tommy, please’’ Adam begged me, his eyes stuck on the ground as if he was refusing to look at me.
There is a diamond in this coal
I just can’t see it anymore
Seen so much heartache
struggle hit so deep
Seen this reality
Slip beneath the dreams so
Take me where
Take me where
The midnight sun
Don’t lead me astray
If you would care to take me there
Well I would care to stay’’
Watching him walk away from me again, I slowly sat up and cradled my arm against my chest with my other as I felt my tears fall again, ‘’Fuck’’ I breathed out as I raised my hand and wiped my at my face angrily, trying to get rid of the tears before I started to slowly push myself up on to shaky legs, going to step forward to chase after Adam again, I felt a hand grabbing mine to stop me.
‘’Don’t be stupid Tommy’’ She told me as I scrubbed at my eyes again before she tugged me in to her body and hugged me tightly as I felt fresh tears start to form in my eyes again.
Slowly, soft fingers moved to my arm and turned it slowly, ‘’Tommy, im no nurse, but I can see that you’re going to have to go to the doctors or something to get this cleaned up and maybe a few stitches’’ Lisa told me as I sniffed a little and nodded to her softly, ‘’And I would so press charges against that guy’’ She muttered out,
‘’No’’ I told her sharply as I pushed away and wiped my eyes again, my arms starting to sting.
‘’Why not Tommy, the guy attacked you’’ She tried fighting back as I shook my head,
‘’It was my fault and he didn’t attack me, he pushed me and im not pressing charges against my boyfriend’’ I told her as I felt another tear slide down over my cheek as she stood there staring at me shocked.
‘’That guy was your boyfriend?’’ She asked and I nodded slightly,
‘’Yeah he is, was, I don’t know anymore’’ I sobbed out to her slightly, Lisa’s arms moving back around me again as she held me closer, I really didn’t know what to do or think anymore, was Adam and I still even together or was it over between us?
‘’If he is your boyfriend, why did he push you’’ Lisa finally asked after I had calmed down slightly and had stopped crying in to her shoulder,
‘’He was upset with me because we been distant since I got your letter last week and then he saw us hugging and now Adam thinks that im cheating on him’’ I breathed out to her quietly as I looked at the ground,
‘’He doesn’t know who I am?’’ She asked and I shook my head slightly, ‘’Oh Tommy, why didn’t you just tell him?’’ She whispered to me and I glanced around before back to the ground again,
‘’I didn’t want to hurt him’’ I told her and she nodded to me ‘’But I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to go to Jake’s, he has had first aid training, so he can sort my arm out for me’’ I told her and she sighed before nodding,
‘’Okay but you will have to talk about it sometime’’ Lisa told me before I nodded and we started to walk back towards the main road after leaving the church and headed for her car.
‘’It’s a bar’’ Lisa said as she pulled up outside and I laughed slightly but started to get out of the car as she turned the engine off,
‘’Yeah I woke for Jake sometimes’’ I tell her as I closed the door and she got out, waiting for her to lock the car, I walked in to the bar with her, my eyes moving around trying to find where Jake was before I nodded towards the bar and walked over slowly, every so often glancing over my should to make sure that Lisa was still there following me.
‘’Tommy, just the guy, you can do a shift’’ He told me and I shook my head slightly,
‘’Cant, came over to see if you could help me out’’ I told him as I carefully pulled my sleeve back again so he could see the graze running along my arm,
‘’What the hell have you done Tommy, get out back now’’ He told me before I nodded and grabbed Lisa’s hand and dragged her along behind me as I headed out back after Jake.
‘’Are you going to tell me how this happened’’ He asked once I was sat down and he was carefully pulling out the tiny stones with some tweezers,
‘’He got in to a fight with his boyfriend’’ Lisa said before I had chance.
‘’Lisa but out will you’’ I sneered at her before I yelped and turned to glare at Jake,
‘’With Adam hey, he was in today with Sutan for lunch, asked about you actually, he seemed pretty out of it’’ Jake said and I frowned slightly before biting my lip hard as I felt Jake pull another stone out, ‘’But he done this?’’ He asked and I sighed a little,
‘’I tried grabbing him to stop him from leaving, but he pushed me away as he turned and I lost my footing on the path’’ I told him quietly, watching as Jake nodded, I let myself fall quiet as he carried on cleaning the raze with the stuff he had in the first aid kit.
‘’You’re lucky, it’s not as deep as it looked, a few strip stitches to hold the skin closer will sort it out’’ Jake told me and I nodded slightly before watching him look through the box until he pulled a small white box out and opened it, taking some of the butterfly stitches out, I watched as he undone a couple and pinched my skin slightly before laying it over.
‘’I should say really that you’re lucky that its this arm and not your other because I know how much you would hate it if it scared and ruined your tattoos’’ Jake smirked out as he started to wrap a bandaged around my arm to keep any dirt and infection out of it.
‘’Thanks’’ I told him lightly as he let my arm go and started to pack everything up again, rubbing my hand over the bandages softly I sighed and looked over at Lisa who smiled sadly at me.
‘’Look, you need to go and sort out things with him, explain everything. I will be at the hotel and you have my number if you need anything’’ Lisa told me and I looked up at her before nodding slightly, not wanting her to know that Adam had told me not to go home tonight. Standing up, I hugged her back before we turned and headed out of the back room and in to the bar again, heading outside I turned to her and hugged her tightly as I took a deep breath.
‘’Im glad you got in touch’’ I whispered out to her before pulling and smiled,
‘’me too Tommy, I’ve missed out on your life too much already, but I want to be part of it now’’ She told me and I laughed softly before nodding. Smiling as she kissed my cheek I looked down before back up again as I walked over to her car with her, ‘’Umm, friend of yours?’’ She asked as she nodded and I turned to see Sutan walking over looking pissed off.
‘’Oh shit’’ I muttered out before he reached us and I felt his hand slap me across the cheek,
‘’That is for breaking Adams heart and cheating on him with her’’ Sutan spat out to me as I held my cheek and looked at him to see him glaring at Lisa,
‘’Sutan, im not cheating on him, ‘’ I breathed out quickly as I felt my eyes fill with tears,
‘’Sure your not Tommy, I saw you hugging each other and her kissing your cheek all friendly’’ he hissed again and I moved slightly before pushing Lisa away a little as she stepped forward, ‘’That’s it defend her’’ Sutan laughed out before I turned back,
‘’Sutan, im not cheating on Adam, I love him okay, I would never hurt him like that’’ I yelled out to him, trying my best not to break down again, ‘’Lisa is my sister okay’’ I told him slightly quieter as Sutan looked between us ,
‘’How do I believe you?’’ He asked and I pulled my hand away from my cheek before pulling my jacket open and grabbed the letter which was in there and shoved it out to him. I stood there watching him as he pulled it out of the envelope and started to read it, his eyes skimming over the words before his hand moved up and covered over his mouth as he looked back up at us,
‘’Tommy…’’ He trailed off as he held the letter back out to me and I took it slowly before putting it back in to my pocket.
‘’It’s why I’ve been distant, I got it last week and it freaked me out because I knew I had an elder sister but I didn’t know who she was or where she was’’ I told him, ‘’And I left early this morning because I was nervous about meeting her for the first time and I didn’t want Adam to see that’’ I swallowed out before he stepped forward and pulled me in to his arms.
‘’Baby im sorry’’ He whispered tom me as I wrapped my arms around him tightly. ‘’But why didn’t you tell any of us, why didn’t you tell Adam? That boy’s been so worried about you’’ Sutan told me and I nodded slightly before he let me go,
‘’I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to upset him, I knew I had a sister but I never thought that Lisa would get in touch and then she did and I panicked because of Neil and I just didn’t want to bring that all back again because he’s only just getting over it all’’ I told him with fresh tears in my eyes again,
‘’Who’s Neil?’’Lisa asked and I wiped my eyes away,
‘’Neil was Adam’s brother, him and his parents died in an accident just over a month and half ago’’ Sutan told her and she gasped slightly.
‘’That’s why I didn’t want to tell him, I didn’t want to make him upset because he had lost his family and I had suddenly always had family after mom and dad died’’ I told them both on the verge of tears again and I felt both of their arms come around me,
‘’Sorry for the things I said’’ I heard Sutan say to Lisa and she laughed softly,
‘’Its fine, everyone makes mistakes sometimes’’ She laughed out, ‘’Tommy, Its getting dark and im going to head back to the hotel and get some rest, I will call you tomorrow or something’’ She told me and I nodded softly before looking up at her and hugged my arms around her tightly. ‘’See you later baby brother’’ She whispered against my ear before letting me go and got in to the car.
‘’Tommy are you okay?’’ Sutan asked me, turning slightly I looked at him and nodded slightly before I ran my hand through my hair,
‘’Where’s Adam too?’’ I asked him lightly, my eyes fallen back to the ground again as I moved and sat on the curb’s edge, my hand rubbing over my bandaged arm again.
‘’He’s at mine, sleeping still hopefully’’ Sutan told me softly before he moved and sat next to me, ‘’Tommy, what’s wrong’’ He asked again as I sighed, my eyes watching the traffic before I lowered them again,
‘’I don’t know what to do, he told me to leave him alone and…’’ I trailed off slightly as I rubbed my eyes,
‘’and what honey?’’ He asked, a gentle hand rubbing my back,
‘’and he told me not to come home tonight’’ I whispered out before curling in to Sutan as he tightened his arm around me, ‘’I just don’t know what’s going on, I can’t lose him’’ I whispered, tears filling my eyes again before slowly falling. ‘’He hates me’’ I sobbed out in to his chest as I curled my fingers against his shirt.
‘’Oh Tommy, he don’t hate you, Adam’s just upset that’s all darling’’ Sutan cooed out to me as he rubbed my back softly, ‘’Just be yourself and be at home waiting for him and show him how much you love him’’
‘’But how? He won’t believe me’’ I whispered,
‘’Cook him dinner, cuddle up with romantic films, give him flowers do anything you want but mainly just talk to him’’ Sutan told me and I nodded slightly before breathing out deeply, ‘’Look, I will keep Adam at mine for tonight and for tomorrow but I will send him home tomorrow night’’ I nodded against his chest before slowly moving away from him and rubbed my eyes slightly.
‘Now I’m here to say I’m sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
Now I’m here to say I’m sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had’
Coming home to a quiet home was strange, it was even stranger knowing that it was empty and I was alone in the apartment. Locking the door behind me I slowly made my way in to the kitchen, nothing being moved since I had left this morning. Swallowing slightly I turned the light back off again and walked back through the hall before slowly walking up the stairs, passing my room I quietly opened Adam’s door and stepped in to the dark room before walking across to where I could just make out the shape of his bed, toeing my boots off I shrugged my jacket off and crawled up his bed from the bottom before moving the covers over me, Adam’s scent all around me as I held the covers close to me and hugged in to his pillows, sleep quickly taking over me.
Morning came with sunlight streaming in to the room and falling across my face as I buried myself deeper in to Adams covers and rolled over, not wanting to wake up and to face the reality that I was alone still. ‘’Tommy get your ass up and out of this bed now’’ I mumbled out to myself, a sigh leaving my lips as I took no notice of myself and pulled Adam’s covers closer to me, just smelling his scent on them, I felt safe in his bed, felt like nothing was wrong in the world and I didn’t want to lose that, I knew that the moment I got out of his bed, everything from yesterday would come crashing down on me and I would feel like shit again.
Finally I managed to get myself out of Adam’s bed and down to the kitchen around noon time before a coffee was in my hands and I was sat staring at the kitchen table again, the silence of the apartment around me, hearing a knock at the door, I jumped and turned to look along the hallway. Slowly getting to my feet, I made my way along the hall and too the door before another knock sounded out, a little louder.
‘’Tommy, answer the door will you’’ Sutan’s voice called out loudly and I breathed out a little and quickly unlocked it and pulled it open for him, his eyes taking in my appearance with a sigh before he walked in.
‘’Where Adam? I thought you were going to stay with him today?’’ I asked him as I shut the door and followed him back down and in to the kitchen.
‘’He is, he thinks I’ve gone to the shops, but I think I came to the right place, have you even changed since yesterday honey?’’ Sutan asked as he stopped to look at me again, my nose scrunching up slightly as I shook my head and started to make some more coffee for us. ‘’Go change and shower, I will finish up here’’ Sutan told me and I sighed before nodding and let my feet led me up the stairs to my room, grabbing some clothes I wondered in to the bathroom before starting the water up and undressed before stepping in to the hot spray.
Soap foamed over my body as I let the small sponge which Adam often use scrunch up in my hand as I washed it out and hung it back on the small hook and stepped back under the warm water, droplets sliding down my neck before running over my shoulders, taking the soap with it before I stepped out and turned the water off, a towel wrapping tightly around my waist as I walked over to the mirror and swiped my hand across to stare at my reflection.
‘’Tommy baby are you okay?’’ Sutan’s voice called out through the door and I jumped slightly before looking towards it,
‘’Yeah im fine, will be down in a second’’ I told him before quiet fell and footsteps faded away and headed down the stairs before I moved and started to fully dry off, slipping in to a pair of boxers and loose fitting sweat pants, I ran the towel over my hair before hanging it back up and pulled the door open, my bare feet sticking to the cold floor slightly as I headed back down to the kitchen again.
‘’Eat’’ Sutan told me as I walked in and nodded towards the table where there was a bowl steaming with what looked like soup and I smiled slightly before walking over and sat down, my hand reaching out and picking the spoon up before I played with it a little, my mind on Adam and on ways which I could make it better. ‘’Tommy, stop thinking honey and just eat’’ Sutan told me and I glanced up at him before I sighed softly,
‘’I can’t stop thinking about Adam’’ I whispered out to him and he looked at me softly before slipping in to the chair beside me, ‘’I feel so guilty for hurting him, I never meant for it to happen’’ I told him and he smiled lightly before reaching over and laid a hand on my arm softly,
‘’Honey, stop putting yourself down okay, I will personally bring Adam home tonight, just be here’’ He told me and I nodded slightly before looking back down to the food which was in front of me when I thought of something.
‘’Hey Sutan, do you think you could get some roses delivered here? Like quite a lot, I have an idea I want to do’’ I told him as I looked back up and he grinned before nodding,
‘’what colors?’’ He asked and I thought about it slightly,
‘’Red…just red’’ I told him and he nodded, ‘’My cards are in my wallet, I don’t care how much it costs or puts me in debt, I want to do this’’ I told him and he nodded softly,
‘’Don’t worry about the cost, I will pay for it all, I have some cash which needs to be spent’’ He winked at me and I laughed softly before nodding, ‘’I’ll go do that now and get them here as soon as’’ He told me before standing, ‘’I should go aswell before Adam wakes up and wonders where I am’’ I nodded and smiled as he kissed my cheek.
‘’Thank you for not hating me’’ I told him softly and Sutan laughed before shaking his head,
‘’We all make mistakes baby, your’s was just not telling Adam that your sister got in touch’’ He told me and I nodded with a small smile before he turned and walked along the hall way, watching the front door close with a soft thud, I turned back and started eating as I started to think about where everything was around the apartment for my plan to be put in motion.
An hour later I stood in front of the kitchen table staying at the different sized candles which scatted the top of it, all in deep reds and purples with a few dark blues and some blacks aswell as a couple of white ones, smiling to myself, I grabbed the box and started to pack them in before carrying them in to the living room and placed them on the table top, moving around, I pushed a few of the chairs backwards to create a large space on the floor, a smile on my lips as I moved quickly and started to place the candles around in different places and areas before my phone rang and I hurried back in to the kitchen and grabbed it,
‘’Hello?’’ I breathed out deeply in to it as I ran a hand through my hair and bit my lip slightly,
‘’Hey Tommy, it’s Sutan, just thought I would let you know, the flowers should be there in about another hour or two,’’ He told me through the phone as a smile grew on my face,
‘’Thank you so much, and make sure Adam is here when its gets dark or my plan won’t work’’ I told him and I heard a slight pause before Adam’s voice was muffled slightly, my heart skipping slightly from the roughness of it and I knew that he had been crying a lot.
‘’Hey honey, that’s fine and don’t forget the blue eye shadow would be the best for your green eyes’’ Sutan spoke out and I laughed softly, knowing that Adam was still near him.
‘’Great, and Sutan, thank you again for everything’’ I told him before we hung up and I placed my phone down on to the table top and pushed away from the table again.
Everything so far was working great and I just hoped that when Adam came home that he would listen to me and hopefully forgive me, jumping at the doorbell, I walked towards it and pulled it open expecting it to be the flowers.
‘’Uh, it’s you’’ I looked at Brad before nodding slightly,
‘’Yeah it’s me, and what do you want? I thought Adam told you that he didn’t want you around here anymore’’ I asked him as he shuffled slightly and nodded a little,
‘’I know but I just wanted to talk to him’’ he told me and I eyed him a little before shrugging,
‘’Well he isn’t here, he’s at Sutan’s but leave it for a few days please, because ..’’ I sighed a little, ‘’Because I fucked up and im trying to make it up to him’’ I admitted to him and he looked up before nodding again,
‘’Oh right, okay’’ Brad mumbled out and I stood there slightly before he looked away again, ‘’I should, go’’ He told me before I nodded and watched as he walked away quickly and I sighed before pushing the door shut and walked back in to the living room again. Looking around I couldn’t help smile knowing that he would like this and once the flowers where here it would look even better. I wanted to make it up to Adam, to tell him that I was sorry and to show him that I loved him with all my heart and that I would never cheat on him like he had thought I did. I was always going to be here for Adam whether he knew that or not, I would show him.
I just wanted to cradle him in love and just be his for the taken.
‘’Two dozen red roses without the thorns, a large tub of rose petals and a single white rose for one Mr. Ratliff’’ The guy told me as I answered and I grinned widely as I nodded and signed for them, taking them off him, I closed the door with my foot before I laughed and shook my he head slightly,
‘’Thank you Sutan’’ I spoke out loudly to myself as I took the flowers in to the living room and laid them on the table before kneeling and started to undo the wrappings and placed them the few vases I had found before moving them around the room until I was happy, the rubbish safely thrown away in the bins before I checked the time to see that it was nearing five.
Ordering some food which I knew Adam loved, I headed back upstairs to change in to a pair of black jeans and a black shirt before sorting my hair out and headed back downstairs as the door was knocked on, paying for the food I took it out in to the kitchen and dished it up on to plates before putting them in the oven and turned it on slightly to keep them warm.
Everything was ready nearly and I could feel my heart picking up against my chest as I picked my sisters letter up and slipped it in to my front pocket and picked up a spare lighter which was kept in the drawer for the candles, walking in to the darker living room, I walked around and started to slowly light all the candles as my phone went off in my pocket,
‘’Hello?’’ I asked as I placed it between my ear and shoulder as I carried on lighting each candle,
‘’Hey, we are leaving now so will be there in less than 20 minutes’’ Sutan’s voice came through and I breathed out a little and smiled,
‘’Thank you’’ I told him before the line went dead and I turned my phone off, placing it on the book shelf I finished lighting the candles before picking up the tub which held the rose petals in, smiling to myself, I started to lay them out over the floor until it looked like there was a bed of roses, a smile on my face as I used the last few of the petals to make a trail towards the front door, my stomach tightening and heart racing as I heard a car pull up outside, panicking slightly I ran in to the kitchen and put the tub in the bin before moving back to the living room and over to the stereo where I found some soft music of Adam’s and put it on Just as a key started to turn in the lock.
‘’Are you sure you don’t want to come in?’’ Adam’s voice ran out as I picked the white rose up and held it gently in my hands, my bare feet soft against the petals on the floor,
‘’No, no im fine darling, I have a few things to do’’ Sutan’s reply cam and I smiled softly before letting my eyes fall to the floor as they said goodbye and the door was closed. I heard the soft thud of shoes being taken off and laid out on the floor near the door before footsteps turned and then pause before they led them to the half closed living room door, swallowing slightly, I let myself look up as the door was pushed open slowly and Adam stepped in, his eyes looking over everything before falling over me.
‘’Tommy…Wha…what are you doing here?’’ He asked, his voice still slightly rough from his night and I glanced down again as I breathed out before looking back to him and softly started to walk closer until I was in front of him, his eyes watching me carefully before skipping around the room every so often.
‘’I was a fool, stupid even.’’ I told him softly, ‘’I pushed you away when in reality I should’ve been telling you everything and letting you in’’ I whispered as I slowly reached out and took hold of his hand, heart racing against my chest when he didn’t pull away from me, slowly I stepped backwards and pulled him gently with me until we were in the middle of the room. ‘’But I was scared of how you was going to react, so I kept it from you, I thought that I was doing the right thing but then yesterday I knew that it was a stupid mistake of not letting you in and when Sutan slapped me for breaking your heart, I knew that I had to tell you everything’’ I said softly, my eyes down casted before I felt a soft touch against my cheek and I looked up at Adam, his hand was warm against my skin and I felt myself leaning in to it slightly.
‘’Sutan slapped you?’’ He asked and I nodded softly before looking down, letting his hand go, I moved the rose over before I pulled the now crumpled letter out my pocket and started to slowly take it out the envelope with shaking hands.
‘’I don’t understand’’ Adam whispered to me and I looked back up to see tears in his eyes and I breathed out slightly, knowing that my own tears was filling my eyes,
‘’Last week I got this letter, I was shocked by it myself and I didn’t know how to feel about it but I knew that I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to hate me’’ I told him as I un folded the letter and held it out for him, watching him take it and frown I swallowed slightly and let my eyes fall shut before I opened them again. ‘’The girl you saw me with, I wasn’t cheating on you. She’s called Lisa and she’s my sister’’ I whispered out to him, his eyes moving away from the letter and to me again.
‘’Why didn’t you just tell me Tommy’’ He asked lightly,
‘’I was scared that you would hate me after everything which had happened because you lost your family and I told you that I had lost mine too, but I’ve always known that I’ve had a sister but I didn’t know who she was because my mom gave her away when she was born’’ I told him as I let my fingers run over the rose softly, ‘’I left early, before you woke up because I knew that I was meeting her and I was so nervous and I knew that if you had woken up and saw me like that, that you would’ve asked questions, which I wasn’t ready to answer’’ My voice was soft as I looked back up at Adam to see a tear had slipped over his cheek, reaching up I softly ran my thumb along the trail before under his eye to get rid of them. ‘’And this is my way of telling you that im sorry and that I love you with all my heart’’ I breathed out slightly and blinked back a few tears, ‘’I would never cheat on you Adam, I would hate myself too much to hurt you like that’’ I whispered out as his hand moved up and curled around my arm softly, a soft whimper leaving my lips as his fingers closed around the graze on my arm,
‘’Baby what’s wrong?’’ Adam asked concerned and I smiled softly at him before shaking my head,
‘’Don’t worry about me, I only hurt my arm slightly when I fell’’ I whispered to him as I took the letter away again and placed it on the table which was pushed off to the side, turning back to look at him, I could see him watching me with worry as I smiled and stepped back over, my arms reaching up to wrap around his neck softly.
‘’I always worry about you’’ Adam whispered out to me and I felt a soft blush creep on to my cheeks slightly as I glanced down and bit my lip, ‘’Did you really do all this just for me?’’ He asked and I looked up to see him looking around the room at the candles and flowers and then down at the rose petals on the floor beneath our feet.
‘’I wanted to say that I was sorry for hiding things from you, that I love you’’ I whispered to him before he turned to look back at me softly.
‘’Im the one who should be saying sorry Tommy, sorry for not believing in you’’ He whispered and I shook my head as I felt his hands lay on my hips softly,
‘’You don’t need to be sorry baby’’ I told him, ‘’You were scared and I understand that’’ I told him and he nodded slightly before he pulled me closer and buried his face in to my neck, his warm breath ghosting over my skin, warming it and sending the same jolts through my spine like he had always done.
‘’I don’t want to live without you’’ He whispered in to my ear as he lifted his head slightly and a shiver ran through my body and I softly closed my eyes, my hands sprawled out over his shoulders and finger softly curled over them, clutching at his top.
‘’You don’t have too’’ I whispered back to him, eyes still closed as I felt his breath ghost over my cheek before it was followed by a light brush of his lips, my own parting slightly before I slowly opened my eyes to look up at him.
He looked beautiful in the candle light, the way the light danced across his cheeks and in his eyes, I knew that he meant every word he said, I knew Tommy wasn’t a romantic person like this but he done everything to tell me that he loved me and I believed him.
Leaning down softly, I let my arms wrap around him tightly as I held him against my body and softly let my lips press against his in a loving kiss which I had missed, I knew now that my life was Tommy and I would do everything to keep him in it, I missed holding him in my arms as I fell asleep, the way he looked when I woke up in the morning and he was still sleeping, his body curled in to mine or flat out on his stomach and arms under the pillows.
Softly lifting my hands away from his sides, I ran them up to his neck as I pulled away and softly rested my forehead against his, a thumb stroking along his jaw as I smiled softly, ‘’I love you’’ I whispered to him and he smiled and I could see the light dancing in his eyes more before I pressed my lips back against his again. His hands were light against my shoulders before they slipped down over my chest and rested against my stomach gently before fingertips started to play with the edge of my shirt ever so softly.
‘’I want to touch you’’ I whispered against his lips, my own hands running down the front of his body before trailing around on to his lower back where I let them slowly slip up under the back until my fingers brushed against soft skin, warm to the touch before I felt him arch slightly in to my body, a reaction I greeted as I lightly flicked my tongue across his lower lip, parting before his own tongue moved back against mine and I pulled him even closer to me again, my hands sliding further up his back before I moved an arm down and wrapped it just under his ass, lifting him up, I felt his legs wrap around my waist before I turned slightly lowering us e edge of the couch before carefully lowering us until I was sat on the floor with Tommy safe in my lap. Deep loving, brown eyes stared back in to mine as I ran a hand through his hair lightly; I knew that this was where I belonged, here with Tommy. Through thick and thin I knew that we would be able to get through anything if we were together. Seeing him smile brought a skip to my heart as I softly trailed my fingers down the side of his neck and on to his shoulder before sliding them down on to his chest, my other arm tightening around his body as I shifted softly and started to play him back until his whole body was on the floor, my hands moving to his shirt again as I started to slowly undo the buttons until the two halves of fabric fell to either side of his body, bracing my hands either side of him, I lowered my body down over him until I could brush my lips back over his again, his own hands moving up and shifting his shirt out from under his own body as he kissed me back deeply.
Pulling away, I leant back on my knees and stared down at him, his skin pale against the deep colors of the rose petals and candle light which produced small shadows to dance lightly over his skin, running my fingers over his skin lightly, I kept my eyes on his as he stared back at me, a soft smile on his lips as his hands met mine and our fingers laced together. ‘’You’re so beautiful Tommy’’ I whispered to him as I brought his hands up and kissed the back of his knuckles softly, a blush moving across his pale skin.
‘’Adam’’ Tommy whispered and I tore my eyes away from his perfect body to look at him before I nodded softly and let his hands go, slowly pulling my own shirt off, I dropped it down away from us before I moved back over him and lowered down until my body was resting against his, lips pressed tightly to the skin of his shoulder as I started to slowly kiss up towards his neck, a soft whimpered moan leaving his parted lips greeted me as I roughly sucked over his pulse at the base of his neck, hands gripping the sides of my jeans before hips rocked up in to mine lightly.
Softly nudging his head to the side, I lightly trailed my tongue up to his ear, my breath ghosting over the same trail, making him shiver before I felt a hand creep up to the back of my hair, gripping it before guiding my lips back to his as I kissed him deeply again, his tongue flicking out to taste along my lower lip before I parted them and fought with him for the control before he slowly feel pliant under my touch. Trailing finger tips down his sides until they reached his jeans, I lightly curled them around the belt loops and held him closer to me before I slowly slipped one down lower until my palm was pressed against him lightly, Tommy’s hips bucking up in to my touch before I felt him smirk through the kiss, his own hands sliding down my chest and to my jeans.
‘’I love you’’ I whispered out to him as my fingers started to slowly undo his jeans and my lips left his, a small protest leaving Tommy’s lips before he groaned quietly as I started to kiss down his chest.
Chapter 20: Afterglow
Im pretty proud with myself on this chapter, I finished this in less than 24 hours and I didnt even rush it, but im afraid that theres just one more chapter left before it ends and this has been amazing writing and even more amazing for the people who stick around long enough to read my work.
Sunlight was pouring in through the small gap in the curtains by the time I had woken up groggy, turning I looked over at Adam, his head braced on the crook of his arm, hair swept over his closed eyes and I felt myself grinning as I softly turned over the arm which was thrown over my hip loosely to face him. He was perfect, everything I had ever wanted and I knew that no matter what happened between us that we would get through it together, strong.
‘’You’re staring’’ Adam mumbled out softly as he curled his arm around my hip more and pulled me against his chest again, his body warm compared to the floor beneath us and the rose petals which we were still laid on, the thin throw from the couch the only thing covering us as I traced my fingers over his chest lightly, earning a sleepy smile.
‘’I can’t help it’’ I whispered back to him as I tucked my head in under his jaw and wrapped my arm around him tightly as an soft kiss was pressed to the top of my head. ‘’I love you Adam’’ I whispered again and I felt him breath out deeply.
‘’Love you too baby’’ He muttered out half asleep and I knew that it wouldn’t be long till he was asleep again and it made me smile as I felt his breath over the back of my neck and bare shoulders slightly. The thin rays of sunlight creating a soft glow over everything, almost made me feel like I was floating on cloud nine while being wrapped up in the warmth and safety of Adam’s strong arms, basking in the afterglow of last night still as I started to fall asleep myself against his chest once again.
‘You might be crazy
have I told you lately that I love you?
You’re the only reason that im not afraid to fly
and its crazy that someone could change me
Now no matter what it s I have to do, Im not afraid to try
and you need to know that you’re the reason why.’
A loud bleep pulled me out of sleep again and I turned over, expecting Adam to be beside me still, seeing he wasn’t, I sat up and rubbed at my eyes gently, my arm keeping the throw around my waist as I stood and softly padded out of the living room and in to the kitchen to see Adam fighting with the coffee machine in the corner and I couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sound causing him to spin around surprised before his face dropped slightly.
‘’You’re awake’’ He spoke out and I frowned slightly at the sad tone which hinted through as he spoke and I walked towards him,
‘’what’s wrong with that?’’ I asked softly as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders softly and pressed another kiss to my temple before he looked down at me.
‘’I was going to wake you up with breakfast but I couldn’t get the damn coffee thing to work and now you’re awake and my whole breakfast in bed type thing is ruined’’ He stressed out and I pressed a hand against his chest softly and looked up with a soft smile.
‘’Baby, it’s fine okay, I love the sound of you doing that but don’t worry about it, we can still have breakfast together, whether its in bed or on the damn rose petals, its still your thought which counts’’ I told him and he sighed before nodding slightly with a smile, arms tightening around my waist as I laughed softly and wrapped my arm around his neck softly while my other held the throw around my waist still.
‘’Why are you so god damn amazing for Tommy?’’ Adam asked and I felt a blush creep over my cheeks softly. ‘’You always know what to say or do to make me feel better, such a softie at heart’’ He whispered before laughing softly and kissed the top of my head again before letting me go and turned back to clean up the small amount of water which had been wasted on the side when I scared him.
‘’Im going to go get dressed, its kinder cold in here’’ I told him before kissing the back of his shoulder and headed out the kitchen and up to my room, pulling some boxers on, I grabbed a pair of jeans and tugged them on before picking up one of Adam’s hoody’s which was laying on my bed with a smile as I held it in my hands and smoothed my thumbs over it before I slipped it down over my head and walked back downstairs again, fingers combing through my hair as I walked back in to the kitchen.
Leaning against the doorframe, I watched as Adam swayed a little to the radio playing, hands full with different things as he moved back and forth from the stove to the cupboards before plates were placed on the counter and he moved back to the stove to check on the food before he spun himself around a little, eyes widening as he saw me watching before I clapped softly and he laughed a little, taken a mock bow before he crooked his finger at me to bring me close. Walking to him, I slipped my hands in to his as he started to move me around with him to the music and I laughed before pulling him closer and reached up on my toes to press a kiss to his lips softly.
Arms curled around my waist, pulling my body flush to his again as I moved mine around his neck and parted as I felt his tongue trace my lower lip again like it had done many times before, the same shiver running down my spine appearing before Adam slowly pulled away with a smile and pressed another chaste kiss to my lips as he let me go and went back to cooking.
Walking out the room, I headed back in to the living room again and over to the curtains to pull them back, the room suddenly being lit brightly as I winched and turned my back to the window as I looked around with a small smile as I bit my lip and thought about everything which happened last night, laughing softly to myself, I picked up one of the rose petals and held it between my fingers, feeling their softness still against the tiny amount of crisp to it from where they were starting to wilt. Looking around slightly, I noticed a jar on the shelf filled with a bit of paper before I let the petal drop to the floor again and I reached up for it, unscrewing the lid, I pulled the paper out and placed it back before I turned and dropped down to a knee before I started to put some of the petals in to the jar until it was filed and then screwed the lid back up again with a smile as I placed it on the table and started to gather all the others as I listened to Adam start to sing along to one of the songs playing on the radio in the kitchen. Making a small pile, I moved them to the side of the room as I walked back out in to the kitchen and let myself sit down at the table as I watched Adam moving around again, my mind thinking about everything which had happened over the past few years and how Adam had changed me to see the better person I was, the person I was scared of being because of the gang in school.
Smiling to myself, I rested my chin in my hand and sighed happily as I turned and looked out the window at the sun shining, I wasn’t afraid of trying to do things now because I knew that I had Adam there by my side helping me along with what ever I wanted to do just like I had Mia and Sutan aswell. In a way, Adam had worked his way in to my heart and got me to talk to him, to open up more than I had ever done and in a strange sort of way, I thought that he knew me better than I knew myself and I liked that feeling. I liked knowing that I had someone to talk too if I needed them and Adam was the same.
‘’Baby’’ I looked up to see Adam staring at me and I smiled softly as I sat back and he placed a plate down in front of me and I smiled up at him as he sat down himself. ‘’What were you thinking about?’’ He asked and I looked up and smiled.
‘’You’’ I told him and I saw the slight flush to his cheeks and I smiled, ‘’And how you’ve changed me for the good and how you managed to worm your way deep in to my heart where I cant get you out, not that I ever want to do that.’’ I told him and he smiled with a soft nod. ‘’I like the feeling of you being there, the love I feel for you and how I love waking up every day knowing that I get to spend it with a person so wonderful and kind, it…it’s a feeling I haven’t felt since I lost my mom’’ I told him happily as I reached across and let my fingers slide through his gently.
‘’I love you too Tommy, more than words can explain’’ He told me and I grinned brightly before standing and leant over the table to press a soft kiss to his cheek before I sat back again and we both smiled at each other before we started to eat breakfast in a comfortable silence which was only being filled with the radio which was still playing.
‘’Can I meet her?’’ Adam asked once we were finished and I was clearing the plates up, ‘’Your sister I mean, I kinder feel like I should say sorry to her too in a way for the way I treated her baby brother’’ I smiled softly as I pushed the plates in to the water and turned slightly to look at him before nodding,
‘’I think she would like to meet you and Adam, you don’t need to say sorry okay, she will understand for the reason you acted like you did, I explained it after Sutan slapping me’’ I told him as he stood and walked over, his hand pressing softly against my cheek before he lent down kissing it softly.
‘’I still cant believe he done that’’ He whispered as he looked in to my eyes and I rested my hands against his side,
‘’I deserved it though Adam, for not telling you and for letting you get hurt by thinking the wrong things about me…about us and I promise you that im never going to keep anything from you ever again, unless its something for you and then that would be a surprise’’ I laughed out softly to him before I leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. ‘’Im going to go ring her and see if she wants to come around today and I will get Sutan to pick her up’’ I told him as he nodded. Letting him go, I quickly left the kitchen and wondered in to the living room where I searched for my phone, finding it I sat down on the couch before turning it on and found her number before pressing dial and held it to my ear.
‘’Hello?’’ Came a voice from the other end, tired slightly and I let a soft laugh out,
‘’Hey Lisa, its Tommy, I…I was wondering…are you free today?’’ I asked as I reached up and softly chewed on my thumb nail slightly as I waited for her answer.
‘’Yeah I am, what did you want to do?’’ She asked as I heard the sound of things being moved around,
‘’umm…actually, Adam wanted to meet you and I want you to be able to get along with him without thinking of him badly’’ I told her and I heard her laugh and I bit down on my thumb again, confused slightly.
‘’Oh Tommy, of course I will come and meet him, but don’t be so worried I can hear it in your voice and I don’t think of him badly, I think of you badly for not telling him about me’’ She scolded me and I let a soft breath out before laughing softly.
‘’Thank you Lisa, Im going to get Sutan to come pick you up, if you remember he’s the one who slapped me and you wouldn’t miss him anyway’’ I told her before we chatted about a few different things before hanging up and I phoned Sutan, asking him to if he could pick her up before telling him where and when. Hanging up with a smile, I placed my phone back on the table again before getting up and started to walk out of the room before I felt myself collide in to something and stumble before hands gripped my arms and I looked up to see Adam laughing softly, a smile forming over my lips as I moved my hands up to his arms before sliding them down to his hands and linked our fingers together.
‘’They will be here in about an hour’’ I told him and he nodded softly before he leant down and kissed me quickly.
‘’Im going to go shower and dress then baby’’ He told me before winking and I laughed brightly before playfully swatting at his ass.
‘’Im not joining you if that’s what you want because then we would never be ready in time when they get here and I don’t really fancy my sister walking in on me having sex with my boyfriend no matter how good looking he is’’ I called out to him as he walked upstairs laughing.
‘Let me be your rose in December
And I’ll be standing here, until spring comes and the snow melts away
Let me be your rose in December
I’ll stand here forever, loving you, as a rose In December.’
Looking up, I smiled towards Adam as he walked in and over to me, his arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders as I buried my face in to his neck and breathed out deeply.
‘’Im so nervous and I have no fucking clue why’’ I whispered out to him with a soft laugh which he returned before pulling away a little and moved a hand to my cheek, stroking it gently before he smiled.
‘’I love you so much Tommy, I honestly don’t know where I would be if you never came in to my life like you did, Im glad I forgot about that ad in the paper and im glad it was you who found it’’ He whispered and I smiled softly rubbed my hands over his side softly.
‘’That’s good because im not going anywhere unless you slap me across the face and tell me to leave’’ I told him, earning a soft laugh before he leaned down and captured my lips in a soft kiss, a warm hand pressed against my neck and I let myself go pliant in to his touch slightly as I leaned back against the counter and held on to Adam’s sides tightly.
‘’Oh…we aren’t intruding are we, but I was sure you said 11’’ Came a voice by the door and we both jumped before turning around to see Sutan and my sister looking towards us, a laugh escaped Adam’s lips as a groan escaped mine and I buried my face in to his chest, willing the blush to leave my cheeks.
‘’You must be Lisa’’ Adam spoke out as his arm came around my waist and squeezed me softly before he let go and walked towards her.
‘’And you must be Adam’’ She replied and he nodded slightly before holding his hand out and she laughed slightly before taking it and pulling him in to a hug before winking at me behind his back.
‘’I don’t even have to ask if you both made up, with the way you were both sucking face, im sure you wont be fighting again in a long time’’ Sutan called out in a sing song type of voice as he moved around the kitchen and started to make some drinks and I shot a glare towards him before it softened in to a smile.
Watching as Adam walked over again, I smiled softly as he pressed a kiss to my cheek before he walked over to where Sutan was and started to help him make the drinks, sighing softly I glanced over at Lisa to see her staring at Adam and I raised an eyebrow slightly before walking over and hugged my arms around her waist as she hugged me back.
‘’You’re staring at my boyfriend…why?’’ I asked her quietly and she grinned before winking at me again before hugging me tightly, her mouth against my ear.
‘’Just making sure that he is the right person for my baby brother and that he’s going to treat you fine’’ She whispered and I felt another blush creep up on to my face as I pulled away and glanced over at Adam who at the same time looked over and smiled, smiling back, I turned back to Lisa and nodded slightly.
‘’I love him’’ I told her quietly and she rolled her eyes slightly before messing my hand up and I laughed.
‘’Of course you do you dork, you can see it in your eyes that you do’’ She said quietly and I grinned.
‘’Are we going to stand around all day or are we going to sit down and drink tea and coffee and talk like mothers do at meetings’’ Sutan called out as he walked over to the table with a tray of drinks and I laughed softly before we both walked over and sat down.
‘’So Adam, what do you actually see in my little brother cause all I can see is a pain in the ass who’s going to make up for all the years he missed of annoying me’’ Lisa laughed out and I just stared at her shocked as Adam’s laugh filled the air aswell.
‘’Tommy is just amazing’’ Adam told her before I saw him turn and look at me, a bright smile on his lips before he turned back to my sister, ‘’Yeah he was a dick who made school hell but then the day I found about my family, it was like he changed for the better and to tell you the truth I was scared that he was just playing to make things worse but it wasn’t’’ I looked down at my cup slightly as I held it in my hands, a soft blush over my cheeks. ‘’He made me feel free again and helped me find the light in the darkness when I needed it the most and it made me fall in love with him even more and it helped me find my true friends’’ He told her and I glanced up to see Lisa nodding with a smile before I blushed bright and stood up.
‘’Im going to finish tiding the living room’’ I mumbled out embarrassed slightly before shuffling out and closed the kitchen door behind me, going to step away I paused slightly as I heard a soft laugh and then Adam’s voice again,
‘’How did it make me feel?’’ He asked and I frowned slightly, Lisa must of asked him something as I walked out, ‘’I felt so empty, that maybe Tommy didn’t love me anymore or he had enough of pretending and I would’ve let him go no matter how much I love him, if he wanted to leave me because he found someone else, I would let him go because I wouldn’t want him to be unhappy.’’ I bit my lip slightly and leant against the wall as I listened.
‘’When he told me about what happened, I was shocked and I thought that he was stupid for not telling you’’ Lisa’s voice rang out and I swallowed slightly.
‘’Yeah, he explained why didn’t tell me about you, he was scared that I would hate him for having part of his family still when I lost my brother and parents, but he’s my rock and I know that we are going to be okay, that we are going to talk about things now instead of hiding them so things like this don’t happen again’’ Adam’s voice followed and I smiled softly as I raised my cup to my mouth and took a sip. ‘’And you…I can’t believe you slapped my boyfriend’’ I almost choked when I heard Adam’s voice again and then Sutan’s laugh.
‘’Well what else was I to do when my best friend calls me in tears asking me to come pick him up and you tell me that Tommy was with a girl, I was just as confused’’ Sutan fought back in defense and I bit my lips slightly to stop myself from laughing as I pushed away from the wall and walked towards the living room again.
Standing in the middle of the room, I looked around to make sure everything was picked up, a window open, letting a soft breeze run through the room as I breathed out softly, my eyes on the jar of petals which was sitting on the table still.
‘’Whatya thinking ‘bout baby’’ A voice whispered in to my ear as a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and I melted back in to Adam’s warmth.
‘’Thinking about how much I love you’’ I told him as I folded my arms over his as I felt his smile against the side of my neck. ‘’What you doing in here anyway’’ I asked as I turned my head slightly to look at him,
‘’I got kicked out the kitchen’’ He told me and I laughed before raising an eyebrow as he shrugged, ‘’Sutan said he wanted to talk to Lisa about something and that I wasn’t allowed to hear, I tried standing at the door after I left but Sutan caught me’’ Adam said quietly as a blush formed over his cheeks and I smiled before turning around in his arms and curled in to his chest. ‘’I love you too by the way’’ He whispered in to my hair and I smiled as we stayed standing together in the middle of the room, sunlight pouring around us as we basked in it’s warmth and each others, we both knew at that moment that everything was going to be fine and that we were going to get through everything together, no matter what life threw at us because we had each other.
Chapter 21: Epilogue - Adam
I knew that everything was going to alright, I had Adam and Adam had me, and together we could get through anything, we had already gotten through so much together, and whatever life was going to chuck our way, we had each other to battle it out.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
¤ 14 months later¤
‘’Why do I feel so nervous for, I mean it’s only a dance’’ I complained to Sutan and he laughed softly before shaking his head.
‘’Darling, it will be fine, no stop moaning and hold still so I can do your hair and make up, I still need to go back to mine to do Tommy’s and clean up what ever disaster of a mess which he will most probably leave behind when he gets there’’ He laughed and I felt my nerves leave slightly before I nodded with a smile.
‘’Why where is he?’’ I asked and Sutan shrugged slightly before grabbing the eyeliner.
‘’Eyes closed baby’’ He told me before I closed them and let him start applying it, ‘’I don’t know, he told me to come do you first and then go to mine where he will meet me, said that he had something to do first but wouldn’t tell me what’’ I heard him say and I sighed slightly before I stared quietly, wondering what Tommy was up too.
‘’Do you think that he’s keeping something from me again?’’ I asked as I slowly opened my eyes to see Sutan staring at me, his eyebrow raised.
‘’Darling, that boy loves you to death, after nearly loosing you last time, I don’t think he will’’ He tells me and I nodded softly before looking down, my fingers slowly stroking over the tattoo which was on my wrist, something I got for my birthday a few months ago.
‘’I hope so’’ I whispered out with a smile as I looked back up and Sutan laughed slightly,
‘’You have something planned Lambert and I want to know’’ I grinned and shook my head slightly before I stood and walked over to my bed where my tux was and started to pull the shirt on before buttoning it up,
‘’Sorry but Tommy has to be the first to know then you can know’’ I tell him and he huffed slightly before packing his things up quickly,
‘’Fine, but im going to find your boy and make him up all pretty and then myself and we will meet you at prom’’ He told me before kissing my cheek softly and I smiled.
Watching him leave, I stood in the doorway for a moment or two before turning back inside and smiled to myself as I walked back to our bedroom and sat on the bed, my hand moving towards the draw before I pulled it open and breathed out slightly, picking everything I needed to take with me up, I slipped them in to my pockets and turned when I heard a whistle from the doorway.
‘’Hey you ready to go?’’ I asked Mia as she nodded and held her hand out to me,
‘’If you weren’t with Tommy and you were straight, I would so go for you, you’re looking hot Lambert’’ She laughed out and I grinned slightly as we headed downstairs and out to where the car was waiting for us.
‘’Sorry babe’’ I laughed out before I quickly locked the front door and walked down to the car with her, opening the door she smiled before getting in, her red dress looked beautiful and I knew that her date was going to fall at her feet once he saw her. She looked amazing, climbing in to the car after; I pulled the door shut as I breathed out a little.
‘’I cant believe that this is it, after this we have a week left and then we go off to college’’ I breathed out and looked over at Mia with a grin, ‘’I cant believe that me and Tommy has been together for so long’’ I laughed, a smile spreading over her face.
‘’I know, these past months have been amazing, I still cant get over the look on Tommy’s face when Lisa told him that she was pregnant.’’ She laughed and I nodded softly as I sat back against the seat remembering that day.
‘’It was a shock to us all, I mean Tommy mostly but smile is the best thing I’ve ever seen.’’ I told her before slipping my hand in to my pocket and bit my lip slightly.
‘’What are you thinking about?’’ I turned and looked towards Mia as she spoke and I laughed slightly before I shook my head an turned to look out the window.
‘’Just thinking about how, if it wasn’t for Tommy, I wouldn’t be here anymore’’ I told her as I looked over and she nodded before reaching over and wrapping her arms around me in a hug,
‘’Well Im thankful that he got his ass out of his head and done something because you are a wonderful person Adam, and it would be a shame not to have you around’’ She tells me and I laughed slightly before I pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.
‘’Thank you’’ I tell her before she nodded and turned and said something to the person who were driving us.
‘’I’m gonna mind what my momma once told me
Don’t fall in love if you cant fall all the way
She said, go find yourself a dream boy* give her every part of your word
Just hold on tight and never let him* slip away
And when I saw you that rainy night in Cleveland
You lit me up like the sun lights up the moon
And that feeling I felt then
Everyday it comes again
Yeah it feels my heart completely
You mean everything to me.’’
Walking in to the large hotel where the prom was being held, my eyes widened at the sight of the blacks and gold’s, balloons were wrapped around the doors while ribbons flowed from the walls and to the ceilings where the low lights were fitted in to cast a soft glow over the main hall where the tables and dancefloor was. Everything looked beautiful as Mia moved her arm around mine and we slowly walked inside, my eyes darting around the room, looking for any signs of Sutan or Tommy.
‘’Don’t worry, he will be here’’ I heard Mia whisper to me and I looked down at her before smiling softly, ‘’But im going to find my date’’ She told me and I nodded before kissing her cheek softly.
‘’Have a good time’’ I told her before I watched her walk away and through the crowd a little.
Letting myself walk a little further in, I moved towards where they had a table full of cups and a large punch bowl, picking up one of the glass cups, I carefully filled it before raising to my lips and took a small sip, a slight smile curling the corner of my lips as I realized that it hadn’t been spiked yet.
‘’Adam’’ A voice rang out from behind me and I turned to see Brad and Monte stood together, and I breathed out a little,
‘’what do you want?’’ I asked them, still not really forgiven them for everything they had done to Tommy over the months before they had beaten him up when he left work.
‘’We just want to talk…to say sorry’’ Monte spoke out and I took another sip of my drink as I looked between the two of them, ‘’we were just trying to look out for you Adam’’ I laughed slightly before shaking my head at his words.
‘’If you were both really trying to look out for me back then, you would’ve seen how Tommy made me happy,’’ I told them and the looked at each other before away again with a small nod to their heads.
‘’I know, and we can see that now, we really are sorry Adam, we just thought that he was bad for you because of everything which had happen between the gang and you, Tommy was always part of that bullying’’ Brad spoke up and I shook my head slightly as I finished my drink and placed the glass back on the table again before turning around, over his shoulder I could see Tommy and Sutan walking in and I forgot my words slightly before I looked down at them.
‘’Tommy never was part of it, he never once hit or kicked me while I was down, and he stood back watching, afraid because he was scared of getting the same treatment, he was the one who changed everything around and treated me like a person when I needed people to be there for me, you guys weren’t and you were both meant to be my friends.’’ I told them slightly before I let a small laugh out, ‘’Now if you mind, im going to go to my boyfriend, im going to ask him to dance at some point and im going to enjoy my night, im not going to let you ruin my prom’’ I told them before walking around and towards where I saw Sutan was.
‘’Baby’’ Sutan cried out and I laughed before accepting his hug, ‘’Oh…I know that look, what’s happened’’ he asked and I laughed before putting my hand on his shoulder gently.
‘’It’s nothing which hasn’t been sorted, but where’s Tommy gone?’’ I asked him and he shrugged slightly before looking around him,
‘’I don’t know, he was here a minute ago’’ He told me and I nodded a little before turning to look around slowly, before I knew it my eyes laid on a tuft of blonde hair by Mia who was leaning close, whispering something In to their ear before he moved back laughing and I smiled a little, I always loved seeing him smile or laugh before I caught Mia’s eyes and she smiled before turning to say something to Tommy, his body turning and I felt myself breathe out slightly, he looked amazing. Smiling at me I watched as he turned and started to walk closer until he was in front of me.
‘’You look….’’ I trailed off slightly as I moved my hands up and lightly ran them down his arms until I found my fingers moving between his. ‘’Incredible’’ I whispered out as he blushed softly.
‘’So do you Adam’’ He told me quietly and I smiled before pulling him closer and wrapped my arms around him. ‘’Spending a night and day away from you sucks so much’’ I heard him mutter in to my chest and I laughed softly as I pulled away and looked at him, my hand going to his jaw softly as I ran my thumb over his cheek.
‘’I agree with you so much on that, and I could still kill Sutan and your sister for making us do that’’ I told him and he smiled before nodding.
‘’You can both ogle at each other later, come on’’ We both turned as Sutan spoke loudly and grabbed our hands, pulling us further towards the tables and we started to watch him as he looked for our names, quickly stopping as he found mine and then moved around the table.
‘’Aww man, we aren’t even next to each other’’ Tommy complained as he found his name across the table from me and I shrugged slightly before Sutan walked around and slung his arm around his shoulder,
‘’Well at least it means other people get a chance to talk to you both’’ He spoke out and I laughed slightly before nodding a little.
‘’He has a point baby’’ I told Tommy as I walked around and took hold of his hand in mine and kissed the shaved side of his hair with a smile.
‘’Before you I was so blind
I didn’t know which path to choose
you poured all of this love in my heart
and now there’s no way that I can lose.
And when I have no faith in myself
You’re the one who makes me strong
I wouldn’t have a story to tell
Or an ending to my song.’’
Watching Tommy from across the table during dinner, I couldn’t help but smile every time he did or he laughed, everything about him was captivating and I found myself not being able to look away from him for too long, pushing my hand in to my pocket, I looked towards Tommy again as he looked my way and smiled widely before turning back to finish his conversation.
‘’You have it bad for him, don’t you’’ I turned my head slightly and looked at Sutan with a smile before I nodded.
‘’I do, he makes me whole and he makes me believe in myself again’’ I tell him as he smiled and looked towards him.
‘’I believe that myself, I’ve never seen you as happy with someone as you are with Tommy, but enough of that, come dance with me’’ Sutan told me and I nodded a little before we started to stand up. ‘’Oh darling don’t worry, im just stealing your boy to dance with’’ I looked up to see Sutan looking at Tommy who in turn was watching us with slightly nervous but wide eyes before they softened and he smiled. Walking out to the dancefloor with him, I smiled before softly placing my hands on his sides as his went around my neck as we started to slowly dance to the slow music which was playing. ‘’What are you planning Adam?’’ He asked me and I looked at him before glancing back towards the table again before back again,
‘’Nothing, Im just enjoying the last dance of our school lives, for once truly happy’’ I lied to him and he watched me with a raised eyebrow before smiling.
‘’Fine… Im going to drop it’’ He told me and I laughed slightly.
‘’Thank you’’ I told him with a smile.
‘’But Im not going to drop the fact, that you are running for prom king’’ Sutan laughed out and I joined him before shaking my head slightly.
‘’I shouldn’t be, me and Tommy was messing around and he put my name down on the slip and put it in the box before I could stop him’’ I told Sutan who nodded with a grin.
‘’Oh good, I weren’t the only one then’’ He replied and I stared at him before he laughed, ‘’Oh honey, calm down, it’s only a title’’ He told me and I breathed out before nodding slightly.
‘’I guess so’’ I told him and he smiled before silence fell over us as we finished dancing to the song and made our way back to the table again.
‘’Adam’’ Tommy yelped out before running around and sat on my lap, his arms wrapping around my neck as he laughed brightly, ‘’Save me from her please’’ He grinned out as Mia walked around and sat down in one of the empty chairs with a grin.
‘’Awe come on Tommy, I only wanted a look’’ She laughed out and he stuck his tongue out at her before reaching up to do the top buttons of his shirt back up again, black lines just visible before they vanished under his shit as he done his tie again.
‘’I said no one is seeing yet’’ Tommy spoke out and I looked between them confused slightly before I let it slide and hugged my arms around his waist.
‘’I haven’t danced with you yet’’ I whispered in to Tommy’s neck softly although I had already known that Tommy didn’t like dancing and he laughed softly.
‘’I don’t dance’’ He told me back and I looked up at him with a smile before the music cut out and I looked over to see one of the teachers walking towards the stand on the stage.
‘’Come with me, I want to ask you something’’ I told him as I set him to his feet and grabbed his hand, the sound of the teachers voice filled the hall as he asked for the candidates of the prom king and queens to come up to the stage.
‘’Baby, you need to go up’’ Tommy tried telling me as he tried to stop me from walking and I turned and looked at him slightly before I smiled.
‘’I don’t care baby, this is more important then some stupid crown’’ I told him and he looked worried slightly before nodding and I let us out of one of the double doors which led on to the patio. Walking away from the doors slightly, I moved around until I was facing him and softly took his hands in mine as he stared at me,
‘’Adam…’’ He trailed off slightly and I smiled at him as I stepped closer and gently moved one of my hands to his neck.
‘’I…I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for you’’ I told him quietly and I could see his eyes moving over my face as he tried to understand what was going on, ‘’I honestly didn’t know what to do and then you came along and treated me like a real person when everyone else walked on eggshells around me, everything you do just makes me smile and it makes me feel alive again’’ I whispered to him and he smiled softly at me. ‘’I never expected that I would fall in love with someone like you, but I did and it’s one of the best things ever to happen in my life, you make me feel whole and it makes me fall in love with you even more because of that’’ Tommy nodded slightly, but I could still see that he was confused and I smiled softly before I let his hands go and took a step back, a step which Tommy tried to follow before I put my hand up to stop him.
‘’Adam… what’’ He started saying and I shook my head slightly again.
‘’Just…just let me finish first’’ I told him and he nodded a little as I took a deep breath and look down at the ground slightly before back up again. ‘’That day I found out about my family, it felt like my world had come to an ending right then and there, I didn’t think I could have anything else happen but then you appeared, trying to tell me that you were sorry before the others pushed you away…but I knew that there was something different about you when you looked back at me, I knew that you were the guy I wanted to be with no matter what had happened between us in the years gone by.’’ I paused slightly as I swallowed.
‘’Guy’s they are waiting for you’’ I turned to see someone at the door and I blinked tears back slightly before I nodded.
‘’Tell them to carry on’’ Tommy said and I looked over at him with a smile before the guy nodded and walked back inside again and I turned back to him,
‘’Thanks’’ I tell him with a smile as I took a deep breath again. ‘’I guess what Im trying to tell you is, that I love you with my whole heart and I never want to loose that, I don’t ever want to loose you’’ I tell him and he smiled before laughing softly.
‘’Adam, you’re not going to ever loose me’’ He whispered out and I nodded slightly with a smile.
‘’I know, but I want to know that you will always be there, even with your words and mine, I just want to prove my love to you, to make our whole relationship a whole circle’’ I told him as I pushed my hand in to my pocket and took a small step closer to him. ‘’What im trying to say and ask is, that…’’ I paused slightly as I knelt, ‘’Thomas Joe Ratliff, would you promise to love me and stand by my side forever but as my husband?’’ I asked as I pulled the small box out, opening it so he could see the small silver ring inside.
For a while he just stared at the ring before he slowly moved his eyes to me and I stood up to face him better as I noticed the tears in his eyes, ‘’I know that it’s pretty soon and that we have only been together for just over a year, but I know deep down in my heart that I don’t want to be with anyone but you’’ I whispered to him as he stepped closer.
‘’I…I…yes’’ He stuttered out before smiling up at me, ‘’I would love to’’ He whispered and I grinned brightly before pulling the ring out the box and pushed it back in to my pocket and slipped the ring on to his wedding finger softly. ‘’I love you so much Adam’’ He whispered to me before his arms were around my neck and his lips were pressed to mine.
Kissing him back, I moved my arms around his waist tightly as I held him closer to me before I slowly pulled away and rested my forehead against his softly, a smile on my lips and eyes still closed before I remember what Tommy and Mia was on about.
‘’What are you hiding anyway?’’ I asked him quietly as I opened my eyes and looked down at him, a blush moving to his cheeks.
‘’I got a tattoo, that’s why I told Sutan to come to you first because I knew I would still be busy at the time he wanted to do my hair and make up’’ He told me and I raised and eyebrow slightly.
‘’What did you get, I know its on your chest because you done the buttons up and I caught a glimpse of black lines’’ I told him and he blushed deeply again before he reached up to loosen his tie and then started to undo the buttons of his shirt before he pulled it away for me to see.
At first I noticed that he was still wearing my brother’s necklace I had given to him on the day of the funeral but it was now joined with the same symbol on the side of his chest, the same eye of Horus which matched the one of my wrist.
‘’Baby’’ I whispered out to him with tears in my eyes slightly as I looked up at him, ‘’Why’’ I asked and he laughed softly.
‘’I told you when you gave me this’’ He whispered out as he touched the necklace, ‘’That I would get it done for your brother, because you said about how you were going to get matching tattoos together when he was old enough for one, and then you got yours for your birthday and I was going to wait till tonight to tell you’’ He whispered and I grinned softly, my hands moving up to rebutton his shirt as I pressed my lips against his softly.
‘’Its perfect baby’’ I whispered before a cough sounded out and we jumped and turned to see Mia stood in the doorway with a grin.
‘’Umm, your wanted Adam, turned out that you won and the queen is inside waiting for you to be crowned so you can dance’’ She said rolling her eyes before I sighed and looked at Tommy again.
‘’’Go baby, I’ll dance with you after ‘’ He laughed and kissed me quickly.
‘’You better Tommy-Joe’’ I grinned at him before I started to walk away, reaching Mia, I smiled and kissed her cheek before jogging inside and over to the stage.
‘’Sorry’’ I quickly whispered to the teacher as they put the crown on and I sighed a little before moving towards the girl who smiled softly at me and I moved my arms around her waist as hers went to my shoulders and we started to dance to the music slightly.
‘’You and Tommy make a cute couple’’ She whispered to me and I grinned slightly with a nod,
‘’Thank you’’ I told her, ‘’in all honestly, he’s not my boyfriend any more, he just agreed to marry me, that’s why I was late’’ I whispered to her and she laughed before nodding.
‘’I don’t mind, it’s a perfect reason to be late, and in honestly, Im glad you were crowned king and not some of the other guys’’ She laughed and I joined her before more and more people started to move on to the dancefloor.
Glancing up, I looked towards Tommy to see him staring at his hand before he looked up and grinned towards me, returning the smile, I watched as he turned and waved to someone before walking towards them and I looked back down at the girl who had turned to smile at me again.
‘’Excuse me, do you mind if I cut in’’ I looked up to see him stood there and the girl smiled,
‘’Of course not, and congratulations’’ She told Tommy before kissing his cheek before she walked away and I turned to look at him.
‘’I must say, you do look rather dashing with that crown on darling’’ Tommy spoke out to me in a fake accent and I couldn’t help but laugh at him and pull him closer to me as he wrapped his arms around my neck. ‘’Of course, it will look better on the bedroom floor with your clothes and mine’’ He whispered in to my ear and I laughed softly as we danced.
‘’I love you Tommy’’ I whispered to him as I pulled back a little to look at him, a soft blush over his cheeks.
‘’I love you too’’ He told me back with a smile as I moved my hands on to his lower back and pulled him closer to me softly, my eyes holding his as we danced slowly for a while.
I tried to pretend it didn’t matter
If I was alone
But deep down I know
If you were gone
For even a day, I wouldn’t know which way to turn
Cause Im lost without you.’’
‘’Adam…Tommy…come on’’ We turned to see Sutan and Mia before we laughed and started to walk towards them, fingers laced together and the cool metal of Tommy’s ring pressing in to my skin softly as we stopped in front of them. ‘’Some of us was going to head off and have our own little party, Sutan booked a few hotel rooms so we could all drink’’ Mia told us before I glanced at Tommy who grinned and nodded.
Following them out the hall, I smoothed my thumb over Tommy’s hand before he let go and curled in to my side, my arm moving around his shoulders as I kissed the top of his head and smiled down at him softly as we paused outside the elevators. Stepping inside once one arrived I pressed myself back against the wall, Tommy against my chest softly as the others climbed in and I looked down at him with a smile before he leant up, capturing my lips with his as my arms moved around his waist.
‘’Oh come on guys, give it a rest’’ I slowly pulled back from Tommy’s lips and looked up at Mia who was pouting at us slightly before she started to giggle and turn in to her dates chest and I laughed softly before looking down at Tommy who were blushing slightly, hugging my arms around him, I kissed the top of his ear softly.
‘’I’ll make it up to you later’’ I whispered in to his ear as I lightly nibbled on his lobe, his breath hitching slightly before he moved and tucked himself to my side more, one hand moving down to slip in to the back pocket of my pants as I grinned slightly.
The room Sutan let us in to was massive and I laughed along with Mia as Tommy practically ran in and jumped on one of the bigger couches, his body spreading out, claiming it from anyone else and I shook my head a little as I pulled the crown off my head and looked down at it before I walked over to him and knelt down in front of him again, his eyes watching me before he smiled and I moved and put it on his head.
‘’For my prince’’ I whispered to him as I lent forward and kissed him lightly before pulling away again and turned to walk towards where the others were heading towards the small kitchen. Glancing back over to him, I could see him fiddling with the ring on his finger, a smile on his face before I turned back and grabbed two beer bottles from Sutan who quickly opened them.
Heading over to Tommy, I handed him one and smiled as he took it from me and pressed it to his lips, drinking some down as I done the same and walked back over towards Sutan where he was at the stereo with Mia’s date,
‘’Adam…help us out here with the music’’ Mia’s date asked and I nodded slightly as I walked over and took the cd’s from their hands and placed my bottle down on the side before I started to go through them,
‘’Oh, no, why would you even bring that’’ I laughed out as I handed one of the cd’s to Mia’s date again before looking through the rest, ‘’Ahh perfect’’ I laughed out as I held up a Depeche Mode cd and handed it towards him before he took it and turned to put it on.
´’’Oh my god Tommy’’ Both Sutan and I jumped as we heard Mia scream out a little and we turned to see her jumping on Tommy as he laughed and tucked his hands under his arms before she tried pulling his hands out, laughing myself I bit my lip slightly as Tommy’s eyes caught mine.
‘’You can if you want baby, I mean it doesn’t have to be a secret to anyone’’ I told him and he smiled before giving up and letting her have his hands.
‘’Okay, you so did not have that on before you and Adam vanished together’’ She beamed out before turning to look at me, watching as she got up and walked over to me, I swallowed a little as she crossed her arms and stood in front of me. ‘’Well, that was something you kept quiet from us all’’ She grinned.
‘’What was kept quiet’’ Sutan asked as he stepped closer and I looked up at Tommy as he got up and walked over and leaned in to my side.
‘’That me and Adam are engaged’’ Tommy told him and his eyes widened before looking down at where Tommy had placed his hand against my stomach and he laughed softly at their reactions.
‘’Congratulations babies’’ Sutan called out before pulling us both in to a hug which we returned and grinned a little as Tommy let me go and moved back to where the couch was, his body laying out on it again before I moved my eyes away.
‘’Let get this party started’’ Mia yelled out and we laughed before I walked towards Tommy and sat on the floor, leaning back against the couch, his hand resting softly on my shoulder as I dank some of my drink down and watched as the others started to drink and dance to the music.
‘’Sea of Sin
My Second skin
My home from home
When im in doubt
My hands reach out
And Im never alone
It gets wetter and wetter
As it gets better and better.’’
¤ Tommy ¤
The music was loud enough but still quiet enough not for us to get in to trouble, beer was flowing and laughter filled the room as a couple more people turned up, most peoples eyes was on Mia and Adam dancing in the middle of the room and I couldn’t help but smile towards them.
Adam’s jacket had been flung over the back of the couch I was laid on, hair slightly messy from his hands and mine running through it and shit slightly undone as he threw his head back in laughter again, arm wrapped around Mia’s waist as they danced dirtily to the music before the song finished and Mia playfully pushed him back before he stepped forward again and kissed her cheek softly. I knew we were all a little drunk as I turned a little and grabbed my beer bottle from the back of the couch and swallowed a few mouthfuls down again as Adam stumbled over to me and sat on the couch, moving my legs over his lap he smiled towards me, his eyes locking on mine as I slowly drank. Finishing it, I turned and placed the bottle on the floor before I sat up a little and moved so one of my legs were tucked in behind Adam’s back as I grabbed at his open shirt and started to pull him closer to me until our lips touched.
Leaning back slowly, I pulled him with me until I felt Adam’s body pressed against mine fully, his hands spread over my hip while his other held himself up slightly on the couch as I smirked against his lips.
‘’We’re engaged’’ I whispered against them as I pulled back slightly to look up at him, a smile over both of our lips as his eyes clouded slightly and he nodded,
‘’Forever’’ Adam muttered out and I knew he was drunk, we all were but it didn’t stop us from crashing our lips back together again as he pressed his body down in to mine and I moved up to meet him half way as I felt him lick in to my mouth, lips parting before I fought back to try and take the lead.
Going pliant under his touch, I arched a little against him as I felt his hand slip up under my shirt and on to my side before he pulled away and started to kiss along my jaw, softly nipping at my skin as I breathed out a little.
I heard someone cough and I froze slightly before pushing Adam away as we both turned to see people leaving and then Sutan winking at us.
‘’Sorry to but in, but I thought that we would move the party to my room and let you too celebrate your engagement in your own way… Im going to leave the key on the table near the door’’ He told us before laughing and quickly left the room. Hearing the door click shut, I let a small groan out as I felt Adam rock his hips down in to mine at the same time as his lips against my neck.
‘’Fuck…Adam…move’’ I breathed out as he rolled his hips down in to mine again, my eyes closed and head tilted back slightly as his lips moved down over my throat, nipping and sucking lightly every so often. ‘’Adam…bed’’ I groaned out slightly again before I pushed him up and he smirked down at me slightly, grabbing his hands, I let him pull me to my feet before we both stumbled across the room and in to the bedroom before I felt myself being pushed down on to the bed.
Looking up at him, I slowly watched as he stripped out of his shirt and undone his pants before he slowly crawled up over me, lips pressing back against mine deeply as I wrapped my arms around his neck and slowly laid back again, lips locked and soft touches as Adam slowly pulled back and stared down at me.
‘’So beautiful Tommy’’ He whispered to me with a smile as his hands softly ran over my sides before moving to my shirt as he started to undo it. Eyes locked on my skin as it came in to view.
Soft touches, light nips, heated skin…
Everything felt on fire…
‘’Hollywood baby’’ Adam whispered in to my ear as he moved back over my body with his own, the afterglow still a high from the wonders of his mouth as he gently sucked on my lobe.
‘’Hollywood…’’ I repeated slightly dazed as he moved over and laid next to me, both of our breaths harsh as I turned to look at him.
‘’We are going to make it baby, I promise you that, im going to give you everything you want and more, its going to be amazing, we are going to be amazing Tommy…’’ Adam grinned out, his words still slightly slurred from drinking, ‘’everyone is going to know our names, Adam and Tommy’’ He laughed softly and rolled over to face me. ‘’All of ours dreams will come true and I know they will because I have you by my side forever’’ He whispered, a hand sliding down to my bare hip to pull me closer to him, a smile on my own lips as I moved my arms around his neck softly.
‘’Here’s to us and Hollywood’’ I whispered back to him.
I knew that everything was going to alright, I had Adam and Adam had me, and together we could get through anything, we had already gotten through so much together, and whatever life was going to chuck our way, we had each other to battle it out.
So this is the end... I gotta say that this has been a battle in itself, I mean there was so many times I just wanted to give up because I couldnt think of a single idea to write, but hopefully I didnt leave any loose ends flying around and if I have...please do tell me...
I hope as readers that you enjoyed following this fic from the beginning and I hope that I have kept you entertained through out. Any comments are welcomed whether its good or bad Im open to all kinds of feedback.