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The Marvey Chronicles

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It all started in the Pearson-Hardman ladies’ lounge when Rachel told Norma how Mike had saved her job by figuring out that Jimmy was the culprit. Norma knew what Mike looked like and was aware of how her boss, Louis, had eyes on him as his future pony, but she had had no direct contact with him.

“So he helps out friends at work? That’s noble, given how this is an extremely competitive firm. No offense to you or him, but he probably helped because you’re not one of his rivals.” Norma sipped her tea, enjoying her lunch break.

“Nah, Mike’s not like that. He’s a total sweetheart.” Donna put in her two cents.

“But he’s a lawyer.” Norma had seen more than enough lawyers to know what it took to be a lawyer.

“He’s different. He cares about people.” Rachel defended her friend and told the story about how Mike had even helped Kyle and Seth who pulled a prank on him whenever they got a chance.

“Then why aren’t you jumping him already? Is he seeing someone? Get rid of her then!” Norma scolded the paralegal.

Rachel wondered if it was all right to tell Norma about Mike’s sexual orientation.

“He’s gay.” Donna made it easy for her.

“I knew it!” Norma threw her hands in the air. “If he’s that cute, that brilliant, and even helps other people, he’s the perfect package. You know what they say! A good-looking man has a beautiful woman on his arm whereas a perfect man has a beautiful man on his arm.”

“Amen.” Donna laughed.

“Who said such a thing?” Rachel asked.

“I don’t know. God?” Norma shrugged.

“I do wish Mikey gets himself a boyfriend though. Someone who would treat him well, someone who’s not like Trevor.” Rachel frowned at the memories of Mike’s ex-boyfriend.

“Who’s Trevor?” Norma asked.

Rachel and Donna filled her in, throwing in words that shouldn’t be coming out of a lady’s mouth. Norma now felt as if she knew Mike herself. Apparently Harvey Specter’s puppy was a very admirable and an adorable human being.

“Why do you think he’s single? Unrequited love?” She was curious.

“I think he’s just too busy with all the work. He simply doesn’t have time to go out there and find someone.” Rachel answered, finishing her coffee.

“Ah, too bad I don’t know anyone worthy of his attention to hook him up with.” Norma was frustrated. There were very few great guys left in the world, and Mike seemed to be one of them. She wanted him to find happiness and hear the angels sing in his ears.

“I guess he’s not interested in anyone at work.” Donna shared her colleague’s bitterness. She would like to see the puppy wag its tail with sheer joy, being loved by the right person.

“What type of guy is he looking for?” Norma asked, willing to keep in mind what Mike was looking for in case she came across someone that met the qualifications.

“Well, he once told me that he likes a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to do anything and everything in his power to get it.” Rachel remembered the exact words because Mike had answered her silly question very seriously.

“I guess he was talking about someone with a goal and passion, but unfortunately that kind of description fits someone like Trevor too.” Rachel got up to get more coffee and added, “Oh, he also mentioned someone who has the resources to take care of his grandmother in case anything happens to him. He’s sweet like that.”

“Any preferences regarding age, race, and religion?” Norma liked to be thorough.

Rachel had to think a little before answering, “I think he said he didn’t like someone younger or similar to his age. Since he’s a genius, he’s probably going to enjoy the company of someone who can challenge him intellectually.”

“So the guy will have to be older than him and as smart as him, if not smarter.” Norma filed that information in her mental cabinet.

“That almost sounds like you’re describing Harvey.” Donna let out a light chuckle.

There was a brief pause before all three women became wide-eyed and yelled out at the same time. “Oh my god!!”

They had just found the perfect match for Mike.

*****

The next day, Harvey felt as if Norma was watching him like a hawk. When he had walked out of the elevator, she had been standing in Donna’s area, saying ‘Good morning, Mr. Specter’ in the tone of a school teacher scolding her student for being five minutes late. When he had walked into the partners’ kitchen, she had asked him how much coffee he drank per day and if he preferred decaf. Then they had crossed paths in front of the hotdog stand where she had asked him about his diet and workout pattern.

At first, he thought that she was interested in him. It was certainly not the first time that someone in the firm had fallen for him. But it soon became clear that her interest was more of a scrutinizing nature. Harvey caught her more than once sizing him up and down with a very serious expression.

“Good afternoon, Norma.”

Harvey greeted her as cheerfully as he could as he walked past her into Louis’ office. Whatever she had in mind, Harvey felt as if he should pass her test. She had clearly been discussing something with Donna in the morning, and he knew better than to mess with the people that Donna talked to.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Specter.” Norma greeted him with a smile that made Harvey want to shudder a little.

“What’s with your secretary, Louis? She’s been watching me all day as if she’s thinking about selling me on the black market or something.” Harvey sat down on the couch.

“I’d give her the raise of her life if she manages to do that.”

“So you have no idea what our secretaries have been discussing?”

Louis looked up from his desk. “Harvey, I do not want to know what those women say behind our backs. It can’t be anything good.”

“What about your wife then? Do you want to know what she says about you behind your back? I can tell you if you want.” Harvey smirked.

“For the last time, Harvey, I don’t have a wife and your jokes are lame. Besides, don’t you have work to do? Oh right, I forgot you had the golden goose that can read thousand pages a day.” Louis mocked.

“He’s not a goose. He’s a puppy.” Harvey corrected him.

“Whatever. If you keep abusing him like that, he’ll soon be my pony anyway.”

Harvey laughed. “That was funny, Louis. That was the funniest thing you’ve said since I’ve known you.”

“You know I’ll make a better mentor for him, Harvey.”

“And, you’ll teach him what? How to get on Donna’s bad sides? Or how to play tennis while looking like a complete idiot?”

“I play solid tennis!”

“I’m sure you do, Louis. Just like how you practice law.”

Louis narrowed his eyes and started to shoot laser out of them, and Harvey took it as his cue to stop teasing the miserable lawyer and get back to work.

*****

An hour later, the three women were gathered in the ladies’ lounge. They were taking a snack break while the partners were in a conference room with Jessica.

“So? Did Harvey pass your test?” Rachel asked, dying to hear about the result.

“Of course he did. I trained him well.” Donna looked all smug.

Norma nodded. “I think he’s okay. He does seem to drink a little too much coffee and has a bad habit of irritating Louis, but Mike can train him himself once he gets him.”

“How is irritating Louis a bad habit?” Donna asked incredulously.

“Woman, who do you think he lashes out at when he’s irritated?” Norma destroyed the end of the straw with her teeth.

“Point taken.” Donna took a sip of coffee as Rachel listened in silence. She admired and feared both women.

“So, fill me in on the current status. What do we have so far?” Norma urged.

“Do you want to hear it from the very beginning?” Donna smiled, remembering the day when she had first met Mike.

“Sure. Get on with it, woman. Our break ends in five minutes.”

Donna pretty much rapped about how Mike had been late for his interview because he had taken a cab for once instead of his bicycle (she knew that she couldn’t tell them the real version of the story without putting Harvey and Mike at risk) -he hadn’t wanted to be all sweaty after biking. She also told them how shiny Harvey’s eyes had been as he told her that he had found what he had been looking for.

“Awww! That’s so cute!” Rachel couldn’t help but squee.

“And now?” Norma checked the clock. Donna would have to skip right to the end of the story.

“Now Mike admires Harvey as if he’s the God of Law, and Harvey has finally dropped the puppy analogy on him and has started to mentor him.”

“And, in your opinion, neither of them has developed any personal feelings towards each other?” Norma trusted Donna’s instincts.

Donna took a moment before firmly shaking her head. The boys had started to establish a good rapport, but it didn’t seem to be anything personal.

“It’s okay. No need to worry.” Norma patted Rachel on the shoulder.

“You know what my nickname was in high school and college?” Norma asked as she got up from the couch. “Matchmaking Queen.”

“Really?” Rachel found some hope again.

“Yes. To this day, twenty-seven couples have tied the knot under my watch. Not one of them has divorced, and the total baby count is currently at fifty two.”

“Are you serious?” Rachel’s jaw dropped.

“Then what are you doing here working for Louis? You’re wasting your talent!” Donna couldn’t believe what she had just heard.

Norma shushed the audience of two. “What would that poor man do without me? I can run my matchmaking business once he screws up something really bad and gets disbarred. Until then, this is my way of giving back to the society.”

Rachel gaped at Norma in awe. She now understood why Donna had been speaking so highly of her.

“Oh, one last matter to deal with before we part.” Norma paused to get the girls’ attention. “I took the liberty of getting Harvey and Mike a name as a couple. If you ask me, a couple name is the cornerstone of every solid relationship.”

“What is it?” Rachel felt light-headed with excitement.

“Marvey.” Norma answered with pride. She thought that the name was classy and sounded similar to ‘marvelous’.

“That’s marvelous!” Donna said, and that was when Norma became certain that Harvey and Mike would be her twenty-eighth couple.

*****

Step 1: Physical attraction (Project ‘Birthday suit’)

Harvey was on his way to the partners’ kitchen for a cup of coffee. There was a new coffee machine on the floor and he wanted to try it out. He was just turning the corner when Norma ran into him.

Splash.

“Oh my god, Mr. Specter! I’m so sorry!”

Harvey looked down at his suits. The woman had managed to hit a triple combo; coffee had reached his jacket, vest and shirt.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

He knew that it was an honest mistake. Donna had told him that people had been getting coffee from the new machine and that they were running around like bunnies with excitement. Apparently the new machine made decent coffee.

“I should pay for the dry cleaning.” Norma offered.

“It’s okay, Norma.” Harvey was a gentleman. Unless Louis was going to pay for it, he didn’t want the secretary to worry about dry cleaning payment when she probably didn’t earn much.

“But I insist! I know a really good place! It’s this big and…”

That’s when she spilled the rest of the coffee on Harvey’s crotch while trying to describe this amazing dry cleaning place with her hands.

“Oops! I’m so sorry! I really am!”

Norma could tell that Harvey was a very nice person. He just gave her a nod and headed to the men’s room. If she had done the same to Louis, he would have probably fired her on the spot.

“How did it go?” Donna asked as soon as her comrade approached her area.

“The poor man is in the men’s room, trying to get it off with water. I’ve spilled almost all of my coffee, so he’ll have to change everything he’s wearing. And, don’t worry. His crotch is safe. I made sure the coffee wasn’t hot.” Norma winked and heard footsteps behind her.

“Mr. Specter, I’m really sorry again. I’ll be more careful.” Norma acted like an Oscar star, looking ashamed.

“It’s all right.” Harvey’s face was dark but he didn’t sound murderous.

Norma fled the scene before Harvey could change his mind. Now it was time for Donna to play her part. As soon as Harvey stepped into his office and pulled down the blinds, she called up Mike.

It took Mike only a minute or so to arrive in front of Harvey’s office.

“Uh, Donna? Is it all right to step inside?” Mike asked with a file in his hands.

“Sure. He told me to get you.” Donna smiled reassuringly.

“But the blinds are down.”

“It’s just a mechanical failure. Go inside already.”

Mike nodded even though he wasn’t too sure. He didn’t want Harvey to get upset because he didn’t deliver the file pronto so he knocked on the door but didn’t wait for an answer.

“Harvey, here’s the…”

Mike swallowed his words as he realized that Harvey was naked. The man was pulling out a fresh shirt from his mini-closet, his back facing the door. Mike could see the perfect muscles on Harvey’s back and on his…

“I’m sorry, Harvey! I knew the blinds were down, but Donna… I asked her and… she said it was a failure and I didn’t…”

He shut his mouth instantly. He was a reflection of Harvey, and Harvey wouldn’t want a reflection of his to stutter.

“It’s fine. Louis’ useless secretary spilled coffee all over my suits.” Harvey spoke as he put on his shirt and started to button it up.

“Oh…”

“No wonder he wants to throw her out the window.”

“Mmhmm…”

Mike’s eyes instinctively swept his boss from head to toe. There was no part of the body that was short of absolute masculine beauty. It’s not like he had a crush on his boss but he couldn’t deny that Harvey had a very attractive body.

“Did you bring the file?” Harvey asked as he picked up his tie.

“Yes, I did. It’s right here.”

Mike put the file on the desk as he tried to avert his eyes from his boss’ buttocks. Who put on a shirt first anyway? Doesn’t any normal person put on underwear first?

“Good. Now stop staring at me and get back to work.” Harvey said as he put on his boxers.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I wasn’t staring at you.” Mike stuck out his tongue and left the office.

‘Hmm, perhaps I should sign up for the gym next month. If I’m a reflection of him, shouldn’t I try to look like him a bit more?’

Mike shrugged. He wasn’t jealous of Harvey’s body or anything. He was just a good associate, paying attention to his boss’ words.

*****

Since Norma couldn’t have Mike sued for sexual harassment, the attraction had to be both ways. Hence the ‘Project Yoga’ was born. Donna talked to Jessica about how male employees could benefit by relaxing through yoga. She explained that Rachel was willing to teach for free, so Jessica had let her have a trial session with the male associates. Even a few partners showed interest in relaxing with a pretty paralegal, and Mike was the only one who wasn’t happy about it.

“But Rach…” Mike whined, slumped in her office.

“You’re my friend, aren’t you? You’re supposed to show me some support.”

“But I’m as stiff as a wood! I was a wrestler in high school! You know that! I’m not cut out for yoga!”

“You can keep whining about it, Mike, but it’s mandatory for all male associates. Haven’t you read the memo?”

Mike sank deeper into the chair. “I read the memo. It said, tomorrow at 2pm, conference room 109. Bring comfortable clothes. The mats will be provided. All male associates are expected on time.”

“Exactly.”

Mike groaned. “I’ll be there on time.”

But the next day, Mike realized that it was impossible to get there on time. Not aware that it was Donna’s doing, Mike finished proofreading the last file and gave it to Donna before rushing to the yoga class in sweatpants and a ragged T-shirt.

When he had made it to the conference room, Norma was smiling gently, offering him a mat. He saw that the class had already started, and since he was late, he got the space in the very back.

‘Great! Now everyone who walks by will get to see how I completely suck at yoga.’ Mike groaned and got down on his mat.

Meanwhile, Harvey was in his office, looking for a particular file. He was just about to press the intercom when he realized that his secretary wasn’t in her area. He got of the office and checked Donna’s desk. The file wasn’t there. So he headed over to the nearly empty associates’ cubicles and tried to locate the file on Mike’s desk, but it wasn’t there either.

“Norma, have you seen Donna?” Harvey eventually walked all the way to Louis’ office, wondering where everyone was.

“Conference room 109, Mr. Specter. She’s helping Rachel with her yoga class. It’s mandatory for all male associates.”

“Thanks, Norma.”

Harvey needed that file before the client called him, so he took the elevator and headed to the conference room.

‘I guess Jessica’s working on the employees’ benefits lately. First a decent coffee machine, and now yoga.’

Harvey wondered if his own associate was in the conference room too. He couldn’t picture Mike doing any kind of sports.

‘It should be fun to watch.’

It didn’t take long for Harvey to spot his associate. Mike had the closest mat to the glass door.

“Okay, now let’s do a variation of the cat pose.” Rachel announced as she spotted Harvey.

Donna was helping the struggling associates get into position when Harvey knocked and gestured at her to come out.

‘Coming.’ She mouthed as she walked to the door, pushing Mike’s back further down.

“I’m sorry, Harvey. You came for this file, right?”

“Yes. No problem.”

As Donna handed him the file, all Harvey could see was his associate’s ass high up in the air.

“Oh god… This is going to be the end of me.” Mike moaned.

“Hi, down there.” Harvey poked his head and greeted his associate.

Mike turned his head to address his boss. “Oh, Harvey, you have no idea how lucky you are to be a partner. Rachel’s treating us like guinea pigs. Such impossible positions.”

Now Mike was forced to lie on his back with his legs spread in the air. Donna watched Harvey take a good look at Mike’s writhing form.

“Don’t torture him too much. I need him to function till eight.”

“You got it, boss.” Donna smiled.

Harvey noticed that Mike had long, lean legs as he closed the door and walked away from the Land of Pain.

*****

“Did you see Harvey’s face?” Rachel giggled.

“Oh, that was fun.” Donna laughed into her coffee.

The three girls were once again gathered in the ladies’ lounge when two other girls walked up to their table.

“Hey, what are you girls talking about?” The first woman, Linda, asked with a smile on her face.

“We didn’t mean to eavesdrop but we heard you were talking about Mr. Specter.” The second woman, Stacey, said. Donna could tell that she had a huge crush on her boss.

“Yes, we were.” Norma confirmed.

“It seemed like a funny episode.” Stacey was curious.

Norma looked at Donna and Rachel, wondering if it would be necessary to have more people on board.

Donna shrugged. “It can’t hurt to have more allies in the firm. There’s only so much we can control.”

“I agree. Besides, Harvey and Mike are super smart. We could use all the help we can get.” Rachel voiced her opinion.

“Wait a second. Whatever this is about, it involves Mike Ross too?” Stacey squeed.

“He’s so cute and so nice! I’ve never seen a lawyer like him.” Linda fanned herself. “I often want to put him in my pocket and keep him safe from all things evil.”

Donna laughed while Rachel was slightly crept out. Norma figured that the two women could be a valuable asset to the group and filled them in on what they were trying to achieve.

“Oh! So you guys are like a fan club? A Marvey fan club?” Linda asked.

“Well, we haven’t really identified ourselves as a fan club.” Rachel answered.

“But there are a lot of girls who would love to join the club! I know a few Harvey fans in accounting and a few Mike fans downstairs.” Stacey mentioned her comrades. They would be so excited to hear about the fan club.

“I wasn’t aware that Puppy had so many fans.” Donna was pleased at Mike’s popularity but displeased at the fact that she hadn’t known about it sooner.

“Who wouldn’t want to be a fan of his? His puppy eyes kill me all the time! He once asked for my help in the copy room, and after I helped him, he said ‘Thanks, Linda’ with those perfectly moist puppy eyes.” Linda put her hands on her heart that beat for Mike.

“I think Mike would be perfect for Mr. Specter. But I thought the firm had an anti-fraternization policy when it came to partners and associates.” Stacey was worried.

“Oh, don’t worry about that. We’ll take it to Jessica once we see some results.” Donna waved off her concern.

“You think she’ll make an exception?” Linda asked.

“No, she’ll change the bylaws.” Norma answered.

“Why would she do that?” Stacey was doubtful.

“Because if her best closer is happy, the clients will be happy, then she will be happy.” Donna explained.

Linda and Stacey thought that her logic was flawless.

The news of a Marvey fan club spread faster than when Louis had come to work with his hair standing up. Many fans of Harvey or Mike or both came out of the closet, happy to have found numerous comrades so close. Whether she joined the club or not, every employee with two X chromosomes heard the word ‘Marvey’ in under an hour. By six o’clock, Norma found herself creating a Facebook page under the name ‘The Marveyed.’ She added the words ‘You’ve been Marveyed!’ in the profile and smiled with satisfaction.