Darcy lied when she told Jane that Norse gods were not in her job description. Well, sort of lied. In her defense, she had just found out that she tazed Thor, God of Thunder. She had every right to be a bit rattled about it. She didn't think to mention that she was taking a class on mythology. They had already covered Greek and Roman myths (talk about dull--it's not like any of that stuff actually happened anyway.) Her class was just starting Norse mythology. Which would be awesome if it weren't for the jerk sitting two rows in front of her to her right. He had a popped collar—who even did that anymore?--and designer sunglasses tucked into his front pocket.
"What did you say?" Darcy asked calmly. She was spitting mad, but Loki had told her the merits of appearing coolly indifferent in the face of adversity. She has no idea how Loki does it. It's really friggin' hard, especially after the bastard turned to face her and smirked.
"I said, that this Loki guy is pathetic," he said self-righteously. "I mean, look at the other guys he's surrounded with. Thor could smash him to a pulp without even trying. Odin could probably step on him like a bug. Loki's a weak, two-faced coward."
"You don't know anything, do you? Trickery gets more stuff done than any lumbering idiot with a weapon. Loki could run circles around them all! And afterwards Loki could still own your ass," Darcy hissed angrily. Okay, so maybe Loki's lesson in level-headedness didn't stick. The guy gave her a pitying look.
“I’m sorry to break it to you, sweetheart, but Loki’s not real.”
Darcy was out of her seat before her mind could catch up with her body. Before she could land a punch (and she really hoped Loki wasn’t checking on her because she’s pretty sure this is not what he meant when he said she must maintain composure in order to keep the upper hand in any given situation), the professor hastily intervened, exclaiming how exciting it was to see his students so enraptured by the beauty of mythology.
Darcy huffed as she slumped into her seat. This was not on.
Loki was in Darcy’s apartment when she returned from her third class of the day.
“How were your classes?” he asked innocently, eyes wide and guileless. Darcy cringed.
“…they were good.”
“Anything interesting happen?” Loki asked, resting his chin in his palms.
“…no?” Darcy tried. Loki gave her a look that clearly said You’ve not been practicing your lying like I told you to and you expect that shoddy excuse for an untruth to fool me, the Father of Lies?
Darcy pouted. “Fine, I failed, okay? I couldn’t be all cool and aloof, but if you’d have met the douchebag you’d totally understand why!”
“Oh, I’ve met him. In fact, when I saw him, he was frantically calling his physician to set up an ‘emergency appointment’ and trying start his bright red sports car.”
The implied What did you do, Darcy? did not go unnoticed, but Darcy was too caught up in a wave of utter euphoria to answer it.
“Ohmygod, it worked?
“I can’t believe it worked!”
“Darcy,” Loki bit out. Darcy snapped to attention. “What did you do to him? I will not have your carelessness get me caught by Thor and his entourage.”
The euphoria left and all Darcy felt was a squirmy mass of nervous guilt. “I might have…shortened a certain aspect of his anatomy. And maybe I cursed his car to be impervious to repair work.”
Loki blinked. “How? The books I gave you were not advanced texts.”
“Well, once I figured out the ciphers—thanks for making at least one of the books English, by the way; I don’t think I could’ve figured it out otherwise. Anyway, um, I sort of took pieces from the self-transfiguration spell—at least the words dealing with body parts—and combined it with parts of the vanishing spell for the…well, you know. And for the car, I just flipped the ‘impervious to harm’ spell—is there a better translation for that? because the title’s kind of a mouthful—inside out and backwards. I couldn’t figure out how to make it permanent, though. It’ll probably wear off by next week.”
She searched around her book-bag and found the scrap of paper she had written on in class. She handed it to Loki, who quickly inspected all the symbols on it. When he next looked at Darcy, it was a more analytical, closed off look which very nearly gave her a mini-panic attack.
“A mean streak and ingenuity,” Loki said approvingly, making Darcy beam with pride. “You’ll be ready for fieldwork sooner than I expected.”
Darcy squealed and grappled an unsuspecting Loki into a hug. Darcy noted that Loki’s staff appeared in his hand the minute she moved towards him. After a moment, Loki stiffly, awkwardly, patted her head with his free hand as the staff vanished once again. Maintaining her façade of oblivious glee, Darcy wondered if Loki had received many hugs growing up or if anyone ever reacted so happily for being with him.
“I’ll have to bump up your lessons in verbal skills, I suppose. I can’t have you writing out spells during a trick, after all. It takes too much time,” Loki stated, subtly trying to pull away.
Darcy gave him a squeeze before disentangling from him. “I won’t let you down, Boss!” she saluted.
“Keep practicing your spoken lies. And remember to—how do you Midgardians say it?—‘keep your cool.’” With that, he turned on his heel and vanished as he took a step forward.
Darcy dashed to her computer and updated her Facebook status. “Got a commendation from my new boss. Life is good.”
She clicked open a new tab. “I just impressed Master Loki with my Mad Magic Skillz. Look out world, Loki’s protégé is coming to a theater near you very soon.”
Darcy chewed on her lip, staring at the ‘Post’ button. She ended up clicking the ‘Save as Draft’ option just as she did with all the posts she’d been making since she became Loki’s apprentice. She logged off the computer and sighed.
“I have to remember to ask Loki how he feels about Tumblr next time he drops by.”