Chapter 1: It Never Raynes But It Pours
“I was told that purchasing costume components from here would be a delicious irony,” Sheldon commented proudly.
“Who told you that?” Leonard asked suspiciously.
“Leslie Winkel,” Sheldon offered. “Do you think she was being sarcastic? She does this smile … thing, and I don’t know how to interpret that,” he added, frowning.
“No,” Leonard soothed, “she wasn’t being sarcastic. Getting Buffy costumes from a place that uses the name of the guy who did the spell is ironic. And it was Leslie who was talking; she was just being a bitch,” he shrugged, entering.
“Oh,” Sheldon nodded as he followed.
Chapter 2: Leslie Winkel
Leslie Winkel smirked as she stalked up to the group. “Oh, my God; you actually did it.”
‘Buffy’ scowled at the new woman. “Went through with what?” she demanded. “And who are you, and why is my voice so strange?” she asked, eyes going wide.
Leslie blinked. Blond wig, mini-skirt (at least Leonard shaved) and lollipop. “Buffy?” she asked cautiously.
“Well, duh!” ‘Buffy’ scoffed. “Though, with my voice at the moment, you might not think it to listen to me.”
“Yeah,” Leslie smirked, “about that: you might want to check the mirror.”
Leslie hadn’t known Leonard to squeal like that.
Chapter 3: Cordelia
“Xander Harris?” Howard screeched, pivoting easily on his four inch heels, and swinging his long, dark wig. “Which one of you is Xander Harris, because, I swear to God, if you got me into this I am going to rip something very important off you!”
“Why is this my fault?” Penny asked nervously, fidgeting with her Hawaiian shirt.
“Because you hang around with Buffy, and obviously you get me involved with this,” Howard reasoned easily.
“I didn’t do anything, I swear!”
“And didn’t we do this already, like, last week?” ‘Cordelia’ went on. “Or, at least, you losers did, anyway.”
Chapter 4: Investigations
‘Buffy’ whimpered. “Giles? Is there a Giles in the house?”
A woman in a tweed jacket inspected her empty teacup dolefully. “Er, yes, uh … Buffy?”
‘Buffy’ gaped at the woman, aghast. “Giles?”
‘Giles’ inspected the fair-haired man in front of her. “Buffy?”
“I’m a guy!” she wailed.
“Er, yes,” Giles agreed, astounded. “And, uh, I, I appear to be a, a woman.”
‘Buffy’ stared at her Watcher’s chest. “Yep. You really are.”
‘Giles’ pulled her jacket tighter around her chest. “Uh, yes, I do appear to be in a woman’s body.”
“So what do we do now?” ‘Buffy’ demanded.
Chapter 5: Side-Bar
The short blonde strutted up to the Indian man with a long, blond wig. “So which one are you, then?” she smirked with a faux-Cockney accent.
“T-t-tara,” he said softly, ducking his head.
“Bloody hell,” ‘Spike’ snorted, “you got the stutter down perfect, anyway.”
“Wh-who are y-you?” ‘Tara’ asked, wide-eyed.
‘Spike’ glared back at her. “Who the bloody hell do you think I am?” she demanded.
“S-spike?” ‘Tara’ tried. “You know you’re a girl, don’t you?” she added.
‘Spike’ gaped at the pretend witch, then opened his duster and stared at his chest. “Bloody hell!” she cried. “I’ve got knockers!”
Chapter 6: Willow
“Oh, my God, can you believe what’s happened? We’ve turned into other people! I’m a guy! And Buffy’s a guy, and Tara, and Cordelia, and why do we have Cordelia and Tara here, because I clearly remember we are in high school, and we just had Halloween last week, and I turned into a ghost just last week, and I’ve only just gotten used to being solid again, but Tara’s also here, and she’s my college girlfriend, not my experiment with lesbianism, and I’m a guy, with … guy things, and I don’t know what to do with guy things. And the guys are girls, and Spike has boobs, and Giles is a woman, even though he has a tweed jacket, or is it she has a tweed jacket, and now I’m getting really confused with gender descriptions and I really miss my boobs, and Tara’s boobs, and Tara has really nice boobies when she’s all woman-y, and can we just forget I said that…”
Leslie wasn’t sure if it was the sight of Sheldon in full Willow-babble that was the most hilarious thing ever, or him fainting because he wasn’t used to babbling and breathing at the same time.
Chapter 7: Explanations
“So, uh, you’re Leslie, are you?” ‘Giles clarified.
Leslie smirked. This was amazing; she was going to be able to work this for years. “Yeah, I’m Leslie.”
“And you know all of us?” ‘Giles’ continued.
“Yep. Well, I know all the guys, and I kind of know you girls,” Leslie admitted.
“Right,” Giles nodded. “So I don’t suppose you happen to know how this happened, do you?”
“Well, I did happen to agree that ‘Rayne’s Emporium’ was an ironic place to get your Buffy costumes from,” Leslie smirked.
‘Giles’ stiffened then sneered. Ooh… Looks like ‘Ripper’ made it here, also.