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In Her Heart

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In my heart

 

The few people that had known her during her travels - the few people that had known him - tended to look at her with an annoyingly sad expression nowadays. The many people that didn’t know anything about her journey or her guardians treated her as if she just had to be the happiest, proudest human being on planet.

She had defeated Sin once and for all, ended the cycle and even surpassed the legacy of her heroic father in doing so after all. Why wasn’t she taking up her destined place in society now and lead a happy, fulfilled life?

None of that meant anything to her.

“I don’t want to see you sad,” Lulu told her softly. “He’d want you to be happy, too.”

She just smiled and didn’t say anything. Of course, he would have wanted her to be happy and she was not going to waste her life, being sad. It was just not all that easy to decide what to do now that everything was changed.

Only Rikku seemed to understand her. “So, he was a dream, yeah?”

Yuna nodded, but didn’t elaborate. She’d finally understood what had been going on, but the reality of it was still hard to grasp. Tidus had made her feel real, and more importantly he had made her understand the true worth of her own life. Would she ever have broken the cycle of death without him?

“We’ll never see him again then?” Rikku asked.

Yuna looked at her cousin sadly and admitted in a low whisper: “I don’t know.”

“But you want to...?”

“Of course.” There was no question about that. As Braka’s daughter she’d never had time to dream the dreams normal girls usually had time for. The hopes of Spira had rested on her shoulders and everything she had thought about had been learning to become a summoner like her father. Falling in love had been quite low on her list of priorities. Her own life hadn’t been a real priority either.

But all that had changed. Everything was changed now. Spira was a new and changing world. Yuna hoped it was a happier place now. Now she just had to figure out what her place in this new world was exactly.

“You should step up and help built a new Spira,” Wakka told her one evening. !A better Spira.” She knew he meant well, but she didn’t feel like spending the rest of her life living for Spira and it’s people. She had done her duty. After all she was the summoner who defeated Sin once and for all and what more could anybody ask of her. The people had to chose for themselves now. Yuna had no intention to get involved in even more political intrigue. “Factions are already building,” Wakka told her and didn't hide his worry.

“Did you hear about the spheres, they are suddenly finding them in hidden places. Recordings of the old Zanarkand?” Rikku sounded excited at the idea. Yuna immediately had to think of the sphere Seymour had shown them. A recording of Zanarkand as it had been once. A glowing city full of life and light. Tidus' Dream-Zanarkand must have been exactly like it.

“People are beginning to search for more of them. They are valuable, these ancient spheres...”

Yuna looked up at the sky. “It’s the history of Spira, recorded in small pieces...” A time before Sin. A time of Zanarkand. “Do you think...” she asked, but didn’t dare finish the thought.

Rikku understood her anyway. “You shouldn’t sit around here doing nothing, Yuni,” she urged. “Come with me. Let’s become Sphere Hunters! We will be an awesome team! Like before! There is no need for summoners any more.”

But Yuna soon found out that there were still people, who at least thought they needed summoners. She had always loved the peace and quiet of Besaid. But suddenly people started coming to Besaid like pilgrims on a holy journey, seeking her out, hoping to find guidance and maybe some advice and hope. Some of them had lost their families to Sin, some of them just felt lost without Yevon and then there were those who hoped Yuna would support them in building new religions. Wakka watched over her, but she could feel that he also thought she should make a decision about her future.

She could be a symbol for the new age, the dawn of a new Spira: The summoner who had decided to fight for her life and all of the people of Spira, to break the circle of death once and for all and go on. But had she fought for that? She wasn’t sure, but felt that she’d also fought for everybody’s freedom and now everybody - not only herself - had to chose what to do with it. She’d promised to help rebuilding, but there had to be a way that left her the freedom she had fought for, too.

Freedom, she gathered from the people, who begged for the guidance of Yevon, was something beautiful, but scary. Yuna didn’t feel scared. She only felt sad, about missed opportunities. She’d dreamed of a life with her love and now it seemed it was never to be. If he really was nothing more than a dream, had it never been real at all?

A man came to town selling spheres and Yuna saw with her own eyes what Rikku had been talking about. She remembered standing in the ruins of Zanarkand and tried to imagine how it must have been so many years ago to life there. A city full of live and technology, full of knowledge that had only survived in legends. All that knowledge lost, but pieces of it stored in these tiny spheres. Hidden, lost and forgotten, left behind by their creators, some of them so old that they told stories of the time before the war that destroyed everything and started the cycle of Sin.

Rediscovering the knowledge and the mistakes of the past? Wasn’t that the place to start rebuilding? Remembering?

Her mind was made up. “I’ll come with you, Rikku,” she told her cousin the next time she saw her. “Let’s do this together.”

“And maybe you’ll even find... You know? Him...”

Yuna smiled at her carefree cousin. “Yes, maybe he is out there somewhere waiting. I mean he’s a dream. He can’t die, right?”

“Dreams never die,” Rikku agreed with conviction. “As long as you don’t give up on your dream, it’s always there! Right?”

“Right!” Yuna nodded. And in her heart she knew it was true. Tidus would never be far away as long as he was remembered. She had defeated Sin! How hard could it be to make a dream come alive?