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The Queen T-shirt

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Adam was getting frustrated.
He had to catch the interview with Queen which was in less than fifteen minutes, and yet he had found nothing to wear.
Not that there weren’t decent clothes to wear, but he wanted to wear something special. He really, really wanted to go on a tour with Queen, and he wasn’t going to let this chance slip through his fingers like a fucking gold fish. So why couldn’t he find that bloody rotten Queen T-shirt?
“Holly crap,” he mumbled to himself as he ran a hand through his messy hair, staring at the whole mess he had made in his room. Clothes everywhere, boots thrown on the bed, make up on the floor.
“THAT’S IT!” He yelled in frustration. Okay then, if he couldn’t find that fucking Queen T-shirt, he was going to wear something else.
Quickly, he rushed to his closet to grab his black leather jacket, along with a random pair of boots. Standing in front of the mirror, he desperately tried to make his hair look like he hadn’t been shagging anyone. Finally done, he tried to smile at his reflection, believing it would bring him luck.
But his smile looked so fake that he gave up at the first attempt.
Funny, he used to have the most beautiful smile ever seen, so beautiful that paparazzi gave him the nickname “Killer of Smile”. His bright blue eyes would shine like fireworks, his white teeth would be a total show-off between his red freckled lips and the corner of his eyes would twitch sometimes, if he was so delighted.
But no one, not even his closest friend, his bandmates, and not even his own mother had seen him smile like that after THAT.
‘That’ , meant breaking up with a certain lovely fin four years ago.
Adam sighed to himself. No point in regretting what had been done one more than a year ago. No point in regretting what was his own fault. He remembered coming back home, exploding angrily on Sauli, telling him they couldn’t be together any longer. Why?
Because Sauli had talked back to a glambert who hated Saulbert, telling the girl it was “Fucking none of your business.”
It honestly wasn’t something to make you break up with your boyfriend, but Adam, being the edgy person that he was, just kind of blamed all the imperfections of their relationship on Sauli. Poor blonde was so confused at the first ten minutes from Adam’s yelling that he couldn’t even bring himself to say hello to his boyfriend.
He remembered how he had yelled hurtful, painful comments at the blonde, he remembered how Sauli’s blue eyes had started to shine with tears, how he was staring dumbly at Adam, silently begging him to stop.
He also remembered how Sauli’s eyes suddenly shined with something foreign and darkened, and glared coldly at Adam, clenching his jaw. “Fine,” he had said. “So this is it? We’re done?” Adam hadn’t mean to say yes, but he did. He remembered how Sauli’s lower lip had trembled, but he didn’t cry in front of Adam. Funny, once Adam was the only one allowed to see Sauli break down, but Sauli seemed to suddenly hate him so much that didn’t even want to shed a tear in front of him. Sauli had walked past his to their room and closed the door. Ten minutes later, he was standing at the doorway with two suitcases and a backpack, making his way to the door of the big house without saying a word.
Adam had meant to do something-anything to make him stay, but it seemed like his pride wasn’t allowing him to do so. By the time Sauli had reached the door, he had turned his head and looked at Adam with puffy eyes, still looking hurt beyond words, but silently yearning for Adam to make him stay. Seeing how Adam looked like he didn’t give a flying fuck, he swallowed his lump and opened the door, and disappeared from Adam’s life forever.
Adam remembered how he decided to act like it didn’t matter to him. he had gotten drunk and went to a club, partying like mad, and not even bothering to call Sauli and ask him where he would be staying at night, or where he would go from there, how he would go to Finland. Deep down inside, he knew what he was doing to Sauli was cruel, but he was so drunk he couldn’t even think straight.
He remembered how he had woken up the next morning, calling out for Sauli to join him in the shower, and then remembering that they were no longer together. He had cried so much in the shower that he had fallen asleep on the floor. He wanted to call Sauli, but once again, his damn pride stopped him.
Even now, more than a year later, the thought of that memory wetted his eyes.
Shaking his head and cursing himself for remembering such thing on the day of the interview with Queen, he grabbed the key of his car and left his house.
How sad, that there was no longer a Sauli who would clean Adam’s room without complaining, and wait on the bed for Adam to come back, putting on his best smile so he could make Adam smile, too. A real smile.
Adam sighed. Fake or not, he needed that smile.

“OH MY GOD, THEY LOOK AMAZING!” Demi yelled as she browsed the pictures. “Someday Sauli, I promise I’m gonna marry you, you fucking sexy piece of shit!”
“Well if you try to work on your manners a bit, I might even propose to you someday soon.” Sauli yelled back from the dressing room, and he got a loud giggle from his giggling photographer.
It had been one of those long days of work, trying a hundred different poses in front of the camera for different magazines, photo shoots and advertisements. Demi would never admit it to Sauli, but she knew Sauli was the most talented model she had ever photographed in her life. ‘Only if he wasn’t gay’ she thought. ‘He would’ve been dating half of the girls of the modeling agency.’
She loved Sauli dearly as a best friend, but seriously, no one could actually blame her. The boy was just so attractive that she had fired her previous model just to hire Sauli. And so far, she hadn’t regretted it the slightest.
They had immediately become best friends. Demi was the only one Sauli would hang out with openly, besides another blonde boy.
Niko.
Demi personally liked Niko just a little. He would pick Sauli up from the studio every day, take him out to dinner sometimes and stuff like that. The boy obviously loved Sauli secretly but there was just ‘something’ about him that made Demi keep an eye on him; she believed if she wouldn’t do so, Niko would break Sauli’s heart one day. If they got together of course.
And that was almost impossible. After the relationship Sauli had with a certain American pop star, he had never laid an eye on anyone.
Ever.
Demi shook her head, trying to forget the memories of the day she had found Sauli crying in the bathroom of the modeling agency. She had begged Sauli to tell her what was wrong, but Sauli wouldn’t tell her. Until she had hugged Sauli tightly, and the young boy lost it. Telling her how he had loved an American, but was sadly rejected from him. Telling her how he hated the boy for doing this to him, kicking him out, acting like he was a piece of trash. Telling her how he didn’t even have the time to tell the guy how much he hated him.
‘Him’ being Adam Mitchel Lambert.
After Sauli’s whole break down, he had looked into Demi’s eyes and sworn that he would never, EVER cry for Lambert-as he called him since then-again. He promised Demi he would move on with his life and forget that there was ever anyone in his life.
And he did. In the best way possible. Demi was so proud.
But he still wouldn’t date anyone, telling her he would no longer ‘waste his time with love like teenage schoolgirls’.
“HEY DEMI!” Sauli yelled from the dressing room.
“Yeah?” Demi turned her head away from the computer.
“Um, do you happen to know where my clothes are? The ones I was wearing this morning?”
“Yeah, in the dressing room?” Demi mocked.
“Haha, so funny, but have you noticed that I AM IN THE DRESSING ROOM and THEY’RE NOT HERE?”
Demi sighed. “Do you have to be such a messy person, oh gods, help me with this one.”
“Alright alright! Stop acting like a nagging granny and give me something to wear! I can’t go out in porn clothes, can I?”
Demi gasped. “Fine, I’m coming!”
She walked around the studio and found a pair of old jeans, but she didn’t find a shirt. She then looked a bit more, and final found a loose T-shirt from under the bed in her room of the studio. Picking it up with two fingers, she held in front of the door of the dressing room. “Here, sorry, it was the only option.”
Sauli opened the door to grab it, and with one look at the T-shirt, he froze.
And paled.
And swallowed.
And stared.
“Hey,” Demi said. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
Sauli just stared at the T-shirt.
“What is it?” Demi asked frustrated.
“W-where…” Sauli’s voice trembled. “Where did you g-get that?” he was literally shuddering by that time.
“Oh, it was just under the bed.” Demi cocked her head. “Sauli… are you alright?”
Sauli stared for a few more seconds, then reached out and grabbed the T-shirt, ignoring Demi’s puzzled look.
Fuck.
Fuck it all to the seventh floor of hell.
Where did that fucking T-shirt come from?
Wasn’t it supposed to be buried deeply inside that fucking trunk that he hadn’t touched?
Sauli’s eyes suddenly were full of tears, but he didn’t want Demi to see him like that.
But what could he do?
What could he do when the T-shirt still smelled like him?
What could he do when he still remembered the first time HE HIMSELF had borrowed it from the American, and it was too loose on him that they had both started laughing?
What could he do when the stupid piece of cloth had suddenly brought back so many memories?
Sauli tensed and held his head down, and ran out of the studio with a T-shirt in his hand without a single glance back.
And left a confused Demi behind, who was trying to find out why Sauli had reacted like that to a simple loose Queen T-shirt.

Sauli sobbed.
He sobbed so hard that he was actually amazed that his eyes weren’t bleeding. He was sitting on a bench in a nearby park, hugging his knees to his chest, still shirtless. He was shivering, but he didn’t care.
He just hugged the T-shirt tighter to his chest.
Why?
Why did he break down like that? He thought he had gotten over it!
So why?
He hated Adam.
He hated him for breaking his heart.
He hated him for being so cruel.
He knew it. He was sure.
So why did he miss the feeling he had when he was dating the American?
Why did he miss being loved by Adam?
“Get a grip, you idiot,” he mumbled to himself. “He never loved you, stop being such a fool…”
Shaking his head, he stood up and since he had nothing to wear, he wore the T-shirt.
“OH SAULI, THERE YOU ARE!”
His head snapped up at Niko’s voice, who was towering over him, a look of concern in his eyes.
“Hi,” Sauli said weakly.
“Hi boo… what’s wrong?” Niko asked worriedly and took Sauli’s wet face between his warm palms. “Why were you crying?” and then he grabbed Sauli and hugged him tightly.
Sauli smiled weakly and slowly wrapped his arms around Niko’s waist. It’s good to know that your friends have your back. Such as Demi and Niko.
He loved them both dearly, and they loved him back too…
But maybe Niko loved him a bit more than a friend.
It was obvious and everyone, even Sauli himself knew. He didn’t want to date Niko, he loved him as a friend.
But he didn’t want to break his heart too.
Ugh. His life was just so messed up.
After taking a deep breath, he let go of Niko and looked up at his concerned blue eyes that were examining Sauli.
Niko was perfect. He was beautiful, charming and hot. He was smart, and really funny. And the best part; he loved Sauli with everything he had.
So why couldn’t he just love Niko back?
“I’m okay, Niko, don’t worry.”
“Um, Sauli… I was…” Niko blushed. “I was just wondering…eh… if you could… ifyoucouldcomeoutonadatewithmetonight?
“What?”
Niko closed his eyes. “I was wondering if you could come out on a date with me tonight.”
Sauli smiled sweetly. “Aww, of course.” Niko opened his eyes and blinked rapidly.
“YOU WILL?”
“Yeah, I mean I have nothing to do, and I’m bored, and not up to cooking… so who’s gonna stop you if you’re getting me free food?” Sauli smirked.
“OH MY GOD!” Niko picked Sauli up in bridal style and went to his car, never feeling happier in his life.

“FINLAND?” Adam screamed.
“Whoa man, calm down!”
“Yes, Adam, Finland.” Brian May replied sternly. “I’ve organized our hotel rooms and everything. We leave tonight. Sorry, I know we should’ve told you sooner, but we weren’t sure either. Sorry.”
Adam gasped. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU! FIRST YOU SAY WE START THE TOUR FROM FINLAND, AND NOW YOU SAY WE LEAVE TONIGHT? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”
“Take a deep breath, go back to your house and pack everything. You can kill us later if you want, right now we need to hurry THE FUCK UP!” Roger replied.
Adam blinked. “You guys are unbelievable.”
Brian smirked. “Oh, believe me, we know that.”
Adam sighed and nodded, then left and headed to his car.
Oh, how he wished it just wasn’t Finland.

Adam was so stressed. In fact, he was so stressed that he thought he would probably vomit in the middle of the concert.
Good god, why Finland?
It was really cold that night, and since they had entered the airport, Adam couldn’t help but look around to find familiar faces.
Or face.
Brian kept telling him to relax and concentrate, but he couldn’t.
That’s why he decided to go to a club.
Rufus Taylor, his new band mate and Roger’s son, said that he would go with him.
Oh well, of course he would. He wouldn’t miss going out to a gay club with Adam Lambert, his crush. Poor Adam had no idea. Brian and Roger had decided to stay back at hotel, so Adam thought it wouldn’t be wrong to have a little fun.
But why the fuck was he in front of Jenny Woo?
“Oh come on then!” Rufus whined as he pulled Adam’s arm toward the gay club. “What are you waiting for?”
Adam swallowed. “Um… Rufus… we… we shouldn’t be here…”
“Ugh! Why not?”
Adam tried. “Because… because it’s a gay club?”
“So what? I’m bi, you know that right?”
Adam blinked. “Wha-what?”
“Oh, for god’s sake, let’s just go in there, okay?”
Adam paled. “No, please don’t-”
But Rufus had already pushed him through the doors.

Sauli couldn’t breathe, he was so angry that he thought he could bite Niko.
“What does this mean?” he hissed.
Niko paled. “I-I told you I was gonna take you out on a date!”
Sauli clenched his fists. “You said you would take me out to dinner!”
“I never said anything about dinner!”
“Why then, why did you bring me to Jenny Woo? Couldn’t you find another club?”
“Why are you so against here anyway? I’m gonna make you have fun!”
“Niko-” Sauli’s voice was muffled by Niko’s chest as Niko took him on the dance floor.
Sauli was sweating and panting harshly, hating every moment of it. It was exactly the place where his life had turned upside down almost four years ago. When he had met the man whom was the reason that Sauli was never the same anymore, he looks lost, like something was missing. The reason that he wasn’t that happy soul anymore and he was dull.
And here he was, on a date, in the same fucking place.
Sauli took several deep breaths and brought Niko’s head closer. “At least you could’ve dropped me home so I could wear something decent!” he whispered into Niko’s ear.
“What’s wrong with this Queen T-shirt anyway?”
Sauli suddenly snorted. Only if Niko knew.
“It doesn’t fucking matter Sauli, you know why? Because you’re fucking beautiful in anything! I don’t care what you’re wearing, you’re perfect.” Niko whispered back in Sauli’s ear, biting his earlobe before letting go.
Sauli closed his eyes at the contact, and didn’t protest when Niko spoon him around for the dance.

“So you’re just gonna sit here and stare? Let’s dance!”
“Stop whining Rufus!” Adam said. “I’m not really-”
“Oh god, you are no fun Lambert. Your fans should really know that.”
Adam snorted. “They love me anyway.”
“Oh yeah, even when their idol goes to a gay club and just seats there like reallyyy lame and doesn’t even move his ass to dance?” Rufus yelled in the crowd, trying to have Adam hear him.
Adam smirked. “Yep. You don’t know the glamberts Rufus, or better said, the Real Glamberts. Even if it turned out that I was dating your father, they would still love me nonetheless.”
“EWWW!” Rufus screamed like a schoolgirl and covered his eyes with his hands. “MY POOR, POOR EARS!”
Adam smirked again. Freaking Rufus out when he was being annoying was fun.
“Anyway,” Rufus let out a shuddery breath. “Do you wanna dance or not? I promise, just one song! Please? Pretty please?”
Adam shook his head as he stood up, drink in his hand. “Just one song? Fine.” He walked towards Rufus and the headed to the dance floor.
That’s when he heard it.
It was muffled, considering the club was extremely crowded and the music was very loud, but Adam would recognize that voice anywhere, anytime. He used to wake up with that voice once, he used to fall asleep with it, and he used to try so hard to be a dork just to hear it.
Sauli’s laugh.
Adam turned around, and as soon as his eyes laid on HIS Queen T-shirt on a familiar blonde, who was being roughly kissed by a tall boy, his heart stopped.
Adam found himself staring at two beautiful blue orbs that were darkened with shock, and suddenly he couldn’t take it. He felt sick and paled, his breath hitched and all of a sudden, he felt numb.
The glass fell from his hand and shattered, and everything went black.

Sauli moaned.
It wasn’t exactly a moan of pleasure, he was actually shocked when Niko suddenly spoon him around and attacked his lips hungrily.
Opening his eyes, he softly pushed Niko back by his chest. Niko raised an eyebrow at him, but Sauli didn’t see it, he was looking across Niko’s shoulder.
Sauli’s breath hitched as he saw blue.
Not any blue. THAT blue.
What.the.fuck.
Sauli gasped as he saw Adam stare at him, but he froze when he saw Adam’s eyes roll back as he fell. Even between all the noises, two voices of breaking were clearly heard.
One, the sound of the glass in Adam’s hand,
And two, the sound of Adam’s heart, shattering into a million pieces.

Rufus was shaking with worry.
He was standing outside a hospital room, waiting for the doctor to come out of the damn room and tell him how Adam was. He was so goddamn worried he couldn’t even sit.
Oh, Brian and his father would murder him.
The fans.
Holy crap, the concert!
Why the fuck did he even faint In the first place? Adam looked stressed, but he couldn’t have been that worried to faint, now could he? Why? They weren’t even-
His thoughts were ripped when he saw the doctor leave the room.
“SIR!” he screamed and ran to the doctor, almost hitting him.
“Easy man!” the doctor smiled. Rufus opened his mouth but the doctor was the first to talk.
“Before you say anything, just know that your patient is fine. He’s awake right now and is allowed to leave after like, thirty minutes. You know, after the second check? Yeah. Nothing is wrong with him, he had been just a bit stressed out. However, that was very unlikely of Mr. Lambert to faint-”
“THANKS!” Rufus crushed the doctor in a tight hug and then ran into Adam’s room.
“Adam?” he carefully called as he entered the room. He was definitely not expecting to find Adam hugging his knees to his chest and shaking with silent sobs. I mean, Adam? Crying? That was so uncalled for.
Adam’s head shot up at his voice, trying to hide he was crying but it was useless.
Rufus sighed and out his hand on Adam’s back, slowly rubbing circles, trying to sooth the crying boy. “I… I’m sorry.” He said weakly. “I should’ve listened to you when you… I mean… I had no idea that-“
“That what?” Adam suddenly asked, alarmed.
Rufus bit his lip. “When you kinda...fainted… a fan of yours helped me get you out of the club, and she kept crying and rambling nonsense… I asked her what she was saying and she kinda… kinda told me what the place meant to you… that it was where you met… Oh Adam, I really am sorry!” Rufus broke out in tears, his shoulders shaking with soundless sobs.
“It’s alright Ruf, stop crying,” Adam said, amazed by how friendly and considering Rufus could be. “It’s not like it’s your fault, besides,” Adam swallowed his lump. “He’s moved on.”
Rufus looked up at him with tearful eyes. “How do you know that?”
Adam sighed, ready to answer when suddenly noises caught both of their attentions.
It looked like someone was in the hallway, yelling at someone in Finnish, but the voice was muffled as the nurses tried to calm down the person.
Funny thing was, the voices kept getting closer to the room he and Rufus were in.
As the voices kept getting closer, Rufus got up, alarmed, and went to the door to see what was wrong.
It all happened so quickly.
Just when Rufus had reached the doorway, someone bumped into him, and they both fell harshly on the ground. Rufus swore under his breath, moaning on the ground and holding his forehead.
But the other person didn’t. Instead, he got up quickly, almost falling down again because of dizziness, and just when Adam was wondering who the person was, he brought his head up.
Adam gasped.
There, standing with a bloody forehead, sweating and panting, stood a flushed Sauli with messy hair and wide eyes, staring at Adam.
Everything seemed to stop at that moment. All that could be heard was the sound of Sauli’s panting, as he stared at Adam…
And he looked way too concerned.
Adam was speechless as Sauli stepped forward, without even looking at him, and suddenly stopped when a young doctor burst into the room. She was panting harshly as she stood, taking a deep breath, and then lifting her green eyes to glare at Sauli.
“I told you he was alright!” she snapped. “You didn’t have to run away when I was talking to you! Look at what you’ve done! All the patients are awake! You had no right to…”
“I’m sorry, alright!” Sauli said, frustrated.
Adam shivered. It had been almost four years, four fucking years since he had heard that voice.
“Sorry? Sorry my ass, Mr. Koskinen! Do you have any idea about how hard it is, to handle a whole hospital on your own at such a young age? No you don’t! You’re just a freaking model who-“
“What are you doing here?” everyone quieted down as Adam finally spoke, feeling brave enough to look at his ex.
Sauli turned to face him, but instead of an insecure or concerned look that Adam expected, Sauli looked back with an icy look, expressionless. “I wanted to see if you were alright, I thought that much was obvious.” He snorted.
Well, that hurt. But Adam ignored it for that moment. “Why?” he said weakly. “Does it matter? Did it ever matter? You’ve ignored me COMPLETELY for FOUR YEARS, why does it matter now?
Sauli didn’t like that. Adam needed to know what he was playing at, needed to know what he had made of Sauli.
“No, actually,” Sauli answered, ignoring Adam’s single tear on his cheek as soon as he had said that. But he wasn’t going to stop, Adam had done much worse to him, and he had to pay for it. “The point, Mr. Lambert, is that I’m actually a lot more different than you. I get concerned for the guy I used to know, but you, on the other hand, kick the person you claimed to love out without regretting it the slightest. Correct me if I’m wrong.” He finished with a glare.
No one noticed to gasps that came from Rufus and the doctor.
“What is it, Lambert, too speechless to even move, huh? Well, sorry to disturb you then, I’m glad you’re alright. And welcome to Finland, hope my birthplace will pay you back just as you deserve it.” Sauli looked at Adam for one last time, feeling his own heart shatter as he saw how lost and broken the American looked. He turned around and ran, quick enough to have no one notice his tears.
“WAIT!” Sauli stopped dead in his tracks as an unfamiliar voice called his name.
Rufus ran to Sauli and stated talking, not even letting Sauli open his mouth. “You’re Sauli.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” Sauli snorted. Rufus shook his head rapidly.
“No, I mean, I know what was between you and Adam-“
“So?” Sauli said, annoyed. “My boyfriend is waiting outside, if you don’t mind-“
“He’s not your boyfriend.” Rufus said bluntly. “You haven’t even moved on-“
“I don’t see how it’s any of your business! I don’t even know you!”
“But I do know you! Look,” he grabbed Sauli’s arm harshly. “We really, REALLY need to talk. About something as grey as his Queen T-shirt that you’re wearing.”
Sauli didn’t even have time to protest.

“I’m alright, I’m fine, just fine… yeah…” Adam whispered to himself just before getting on stage. The crowd was cheering loudly and Adam felt sick from the stress.
“Relax man, it’s gonna be just fine.” Brian said, trying to lighten the mood. Roger nodded quickly after, but Rufus didn’t even smile at him. Adam was wondering if he was hiding anything from him, Rufus had been acting so weird.
“HELLO Helsinki!” Adam shouted as he stepped on stage, not even looking at the crowd, too scared to find a familiar face among them.
There was none though.
Adam couldn’t deny how disappointed he was though. He could barely concentrate on the concert, maye that was why Roger kept glaring at him.
“Dad,” Rufus called as soon as Who Wants To Live Forever was finished. “How about I take Adam backstage for a couple of minutes? You know, help him a bit to focus on this?”
Roger huffed, while trying to smile at the audience. “Alright, but be quick. And don’t let him faint this time, in the middle of the concert, right?”
Rufus rolled his eyes, grabbed Adam’s hand and dragged him backstage.
“What are you -“ Adam protested, but was cut off by Rufus pushing him to one of the dressing rooms. “Shush! Just listen, we don’t have much time! look,” he closed his eyes. “You’re probably gonna hate me for this, but I know this is right, so be it. Just… try not to ruin the concert, yeah?”
“WHAT?”
But Rufus had practically ran from the dressing room at that moment.
Confused, Adam shook his head, ready to leave but he suddenly stopped, dead in his tracks.
“Adam.”
Man, what the actual fuck.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
Adam turned, panicking, facing the sight of Sauli who was calmly sitting on the only couch of the room, head bent down and looking at Adam from under eyelashes.
Adam swallowed tickly, praying his voice wouldn’t break. “What are-how did you-…”
“Oh, Rufus,” Sauli said, shaking his head. “He brought me here. That’s why he skipped the rehearsal yesterday, he was… um… talking me into a few things. But that can be discussed later. For now, I’m fulfilling one of his requests, he kept insisting on it, so yeah.” Sauli bent his head down and slowly stood up, walking towards Adam.
Adam watched, as Sauli got closer to him, then looked up at him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, looking straight at his shocked blue eyes.
Adam paled, looking down at Sauli with widened eyes. What the fuck was Sauli doing?
Before Adam could even ask, Sauli stood on his tip toes, closed his eyes and leaned in, and pressed his lips on Adam’s for like two or three seconds.
An electric shock ran through Adam’s body as his mind violently raced on his feelings, not able to take it and let out a moan of surprise, and pushed Sauli back by his hands.
Adam stood, his mouth hanging open, his eyes shut, looking just like a goldfish out of water. They both stood there for a few minutes, neither of them even bothering to make a further move
Adam shivered, not daring to look at Sauli because he knew just how hurt Sauli would look because of being rejected. He knew he had to get back on the stage, thousands of fans were waiting, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do anything.
It had to be a mental block.
“A-Adam,” Adam’s head shot up at Sauli’s weak voice, his heart skipping a beat. “You-I-look I-I’m sorry but-but you need to go back on the stage. We’ll-we’ll sort this out, if you promise to-to bring that damn band mate with you-okay?”
Adam’s chest tightened from the insecurity of Sauli’s voice. He didn’t know how it happened, why Rufus had set them up, and why Sauli had accepted to do it, AND WHY THE FREAKING FUCK HE KISSED HIM, but he did know one thing for sure. He couldn’t just leave Sauli there like that. He hesitantly walked a bit closer, hurt to see how the other boy closed his eyes and looked scared. He slowly brought his head closer as Sauli’s breaths got quicker.
“I love you,” he whispered in the boy’s ear. Sauli gasped and opened his eyes, but Adam was gone, he could already hear him singing on the stage.
Not sure how to take in all the recent events, Sauli slumped down on the couch and immediately fell asleep, enjoying the oblivion.

Adam’s lips were still tingling from the kiss, even after the concert.
He had mumbled quick ‘Thank You’ s after the concert was finished, he could no longer wait to go backstage and sort out his fucked up love life. And oh, he was taking his DEAR FRIEND Rufus with him.
Rufus had refused to interfere, believing it was something they needed to do themselves, but his mind had changed when he and Adam entered the dressing room.
He sighed. How could Adam break up with such an apple pie?
Sauli, face still wet with tears, hair a mess, curled up to a ball on the couch and snoring softly was enough to bring tears to both of their eyes.
The sight made Rufus sure that he had gotten halfway over his crush on Adam. And even if he hadn’t, he certainly would never let those two be apart EVER AGAIN, he promised that to himself.
“He-he wasn’t crying when I left… I–I’m sure, really…” Adam stated weakly.
“Well then, wake him up.” Rufus managed to say without sobbing about how concerned Adam looked.
Adam shook Sauli slowly, and the pair of blue eyes suddenly opened. He quickly sat up, alarmed.
“It’s alright, it’s just me…”Adam whispered reassuringly.
Sauli blushed. He opened his mouth but was rudely interrupted by Rufus.
“OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! JUST-JUST DO SOMETHING, YOU TWO!”
Sauli uncontrollably jumped in Adam’s arms, scared from Rufus’ voice. He blushed when realization hit him and tried to pull back, but Adam wrapped his arms around him tighter. “Rufus, leave the pair of us, just for a minute. Please.”
“What? But-“
“Please,” Adam insisted. Rufus huffed, but walked out.
“You two’d better be kissing when you leave, or else-“
“RUFUS!”
“Fine, I’m gone!”
As soon as the door was shut, Sauli turned to Adam. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Adam asked, frowning.
“For the kiss, I shouldn’t have-“
“Fuck, I’m glad you did it,”
But Adam’s voice broke at the last sentence, and he burst into tears on Sauli’s chest. “-I’m s-sorry… S-Saul-li p-please…f-forgive m-me… that night…”
Adam let it all out, and all the while, Sauli was listening.
“I won’t ever forgive myself for that one,” Adam said after he was finished crying. “I… I know I’m asking a bit too much but… but can we at least be friends? I… please just… at least let me know I’m forgiven… I-I miss you and I know you probably hate me, hell, I don’t even know how you can stand me and-”
“Hey,” Sauli stopped Adam’s rambling. “I know all of that, and that’s not the reason why I’m here.” He spoke quietly. “Rufus… followed me out of the hospital that day, and he insisted-he honestly begged me to let him talk. In less than an hour, I was in tears and convinced that ‘we’…” he flinched t the word. “We are worth a second chance.”
Adam’s throat tightened. “Wh-whataya mea-”
“I mean I want you back.” Sauli looked at Adam from under his eyelashes. “After I take a nap of course.”
Adam giggled. “Nap?”
“Yep, I haven’t slept since that night I saw you in the hospital. Crying all night, you know… we’ll talk this through later. Right now, I just want you toknow that if you agree, I’m… I’m willing to try again…”
Adam was close to passing out. “I-I DO!” he shouted.
“Well then, quiet down, I’m gonna sleep…” Sauli yawned and purred like a kitten, then made himself comfortable on Adam’s lap.
Adam frowned. “What?”
No response.
“Hey… wake up! We’re in the fucking dressing room, we need to get back to the hotel, wake up!”
Still no response.
Not really annoyed, Adam sighed and picked Sauli on his arms, and suddenly he broke into tears when he realized how long he’d been waiting to hold Sauli again. He couldn’t take it. He was over-fucking-whelmed.
He held Sauli closer as he kicked the door open, almost dropping him when he saw Rufus standing there with tears.
“Adam I’m-I’m so happy for you-I just-I’ll see you later okay?” Not even waiting for a response, Rufus turned and ran to the Limo waiting outside. He had set them up together because he was essentially a good person, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt from having to lose Adam to Sauli. He just hoped there would be someone out there to love him just as much as Adam loved the blonde.

3 months later

“I DON’T FUCKING GET THIS!” Adam yelled in annoyance.
Sauli giggled. “Temper Adam, temper!”
“WHY DID I HAVE TO RUIN THE PANCAKES? WHY?”
“Because you’re an awful cook.”
“But still better that you!”
“Huh, funny one, Lambert. At least I don’t burn breakfasts like, EVERY-FUCKING-DAY!”
“You’re so mean.”
“But you love me.”
Adam smiled, forgetting all about the mess he’d made. “You’re right, I do.” He then slapped Sauli’s butt. “Now, make me some breakfast, woman!”
“Ow!”
“Seriously Sauli, if you don’t hurry the fuck up we’re gonna miss spying on Niko’s and Rufus’ first date!”
Sauli sighed romantically, and Adam knew exactly what would come next.
Fangirling.
“Some perfect match they are, honestly.” Sauli said. “Even better than us.”
Adam growled. “You did not just say that, Mr. koskinen!”
Sauli smirked. “Yes I did.”
“Right then, face the consequences!” Adam picked Sauli and took him to their bed, dropped Sauli and started tickling him.
“STOP!” Sauli screamed.
“Beg for it.” Adam smirked as he continued.
“NEVER!”
“Then suffer, darling.”
“ALRIGHT!” Sauli panted after a few minutes. “ALRIGHT, I BEG YOU, PLEASE STOP!”
Adam stopped, smiling in victory when Sauli fell back on the bed, numb and panting.
But his smile faded away as soon as Sauli jumped on him and rolled them over, smirking down at him.
“Forty minutes,” Sauli hissed, knowing it would turn Adam on. “Forty minutes until Niko picks Rufus up and takes him to the restaurant where we’re already waiting for them, without them knowing it. That, gives me enough time to make you pay, and just so you know, you’re definitely NOT TOPPING!”
Adam swallowed. Maybe tickling Sauli was wrong, yeah?
Well it defiantly was.
Because he was so sore that night that he could barely walk. He remembered how Sauli would smile proudly at his state. Fucking tease.
But nothing mattered anymore, as long as they were together.
And it was funny how his happiness was back, just by the help of a certain, lovely grey Queen T-shirt.