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You're not sure when you started noticing boys, but once you started you couldn't switch it off. You didn't want to examine it too closely, so you pushed these thoughts to the back of your head during school hours. It wasn't until you had slung your backpack off one shoulder, cleared the stairs two at a time, and slammed your bedroom door that you felt hidden enough to let your mind wander.

You had denied it as long as you could, laughing it up as you played along whenever Dave would bro-flirt with you ironically. But it wasn't irony for you anymore. Whether or not you had an actual crush on your best friend for life you couldn't begin to wrap your head around, but you knew you grinned like an idiot whenever you shared one set of earbuds, you knew you flooded with warmth whenever your thighs pressed together on the bus ride to school, and you knew you were finding increasingly lame excuses to touch him all the time.

Okay, so this definitely cannot happen. Falling for your best friend may be a time-honored tradition in your favorite terrible romantic comedies, but in real life you know(in the general knowledge sort of way)that it always ruins everything. And also you have a three-day weekend ironic sleepover pajama party starting tomorrow, and realizing you want to make out more than you want to play video games is going to make thing at least 300% more awkward. You wonder if Colonel Sassacre would know the precise index of elevated awkwardness.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice that your pesterchum window is already flashing, but your stomach does a silly sort of flip and and you shuffle things around in your room to avoid seeing who is pestering you. You kick a few comic books and pairs of pants under your bed as an excuse for cleaning, and take time to lovingly re-tape the corner of one of your many Matthew Mcconaughey posters that was starting to peel away from the wall. You don't care what Dave says, Mcconaughey is clearly one of the great actors of our time.

Finally there's nothing left for your short attention span to latch onto, and you've reasoned with yourself that if you can't even handle a chat on pesterchum, there's no way you're gonna survive this weekend. You flop down into your computer chair and breathe a sigh of relief to see Rose's window blinking at you.


-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:08 --
TT: So
TT: Are you all ready for the glorious three days of male bonding I keep hearing so much about?
TT: Really, John. You'd think a trip to the Strider household was a visit to Disney Land, the way you've been going on.
TT: If only the differences in our anatomy didn't render my joining your sleepover socially taboo. I could tag along to keep you out of trouble.
EB: what?
EB: oh, haha! yeah, it's going to be pretty much even more awesome than you can imagine.
EB: we are going to get up to all sorts of shenanigans. it will be no place for a lady of your
EB: uhm
EB: stature
TT: I don't think that word means what you think it means.
EB: haha, probably not!
TT: All joking aside, do try to keep your wits about you this weekend, John.
TT: I don't exactly know how to broach the subject, but I've been noticing a change in your behavior lately of which I don't think you yourself are entirely aware.
EB: uh
TT: I don't mean to pry.
EB: but you will!
TT: So you do know what I'm talking about?
EB: i never do!! but uhm my dad is calling me from downstairs. he's probably baked something horrible he wants to pawn off on the first unsuspecting victim he can come across
EB: ie ME!!!
TT: Wait
EB: talk you after this weekend! bye!!
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:18 --


You quickly log off pesterchum and stare at the aborted conversation, nibbling your bottom lip with your oversized front teeth. This is seriously bad. If Rose was about to mention what you think she was about to mention, that means other people might have cottoned on. Other coolkid people. But then again Rose is always analyzing everyone and their "behavior patterns" so chances are you're still in the clear. You've got to snap out of this fast before it becomes even more of an issue. The problem is... how?