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Small Pebbles, Big Waves

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From the Desk of Dawn Summers

Hi Nicki,

Do you like the new stationery? I think Mom got it for me to make up for having to move to Crappydale because of my sister the Psycho Beast.

We've only been here two weeks and I already hate it. It's SO boring. Nothing happens here. And I hate my school, too. Half the kids at Elementary have brothers and sisters at the High School, so they've all heard about MY sister, the Freak, and none of them will talk to me.

Of course SHE already has friends. There's Willow, who's really nice. And Xander, who's just a dreamboat. He's totally cuter than Leo di Caprio. It sucks that he is so into Buffy, but of course she doesn't see it. All those tight tops are cutting off the oxygen to her brain.

There's also this weird librarian guy at her school that she's always hanging out with. This one girl at school was like 'Oh your sister's getting with the book guy' and I was 'No way', cuz my sister may be a nut case slut bomb, but this guy's like a hundred. Gross.

Tell everyone I said Hi. I miss you guys. I miss LA.

D.

This is the PRIVATE Journal of Dawn Summers. NO SNOOPING.
BUFFY - that means YOU.

**********************************

Willow's got a boyfriend! His name is OZ, and he is totally cool. He's a musician and he plays guitar. And he dyes his hair all kinds of funky colours. He's not as cute as Xander, but I really like him. He doesn't treat me like a kid, not like Buffy. And he makes me laugh. He's just got this look that he does, and it makes me giggle every time.

Willow invited him to Buffy's surprise party and it was SO cool cuz Buffy burst in fighting this guy and then she stabbed him and he went to dust! And Willow says 'Vampires are real.' and Oz was just like 'That makes sense.'! I was totally doing what he was doing, too. Well, once I got done with the screaming anyway.

I can't believe that my sister is the one who has to go out there and kill all these vampires and stuff. I mean, Xander would be so much a better choice. Or me. That would rock, cuz my name is 'Dawn' and sunlight kills vampires. I mean, 'Buffy, the Vampire Slayer'? What kind of moron came up with that!

AND she made me promise not to tell Mom. That bites.
**********************************
Oz was showing me how to play the guitar today. That was really cool, though it hurt my fingers a bit to reach all the strings. He said that I played better than he did, though. He's so funny.

I know he's doing it to try and keep me from asking about Angel, but at least he doesn't treat me like a kid when he does it. All Buffy will tell me is to run away if I see him, and Xander's too busy sucking face with Cordelia to say anything.

Xander only even likes her because she has big boobs. Oz isn't like that.

**********************************
Mom's really upset because Buffy is still gone. She won't let me leave the house, almost. Typical Buffy. Even when she isn't here she still stuffs things up.

I miss her.

**********************************
Buffy came back today.

I haven't been writing in here much, I guess. Only four times in three months. I haven't really felt like it. Summer's not the same without a sister to fight with, though everyone has been trying really hard to make me feel better. Last week, Oz was telling me about this fight they had with a vampire. He's so funny, the way he tells them is totally different to anyone else. Xander or Willow tell good stories too, with lots of growly noises and play-acting, but Oz always does something different. This time he told it as a 'Haiku', which he said is a type of Japanese poem. I wrote it down so I would remember it:

The vampire rises

It flees, beset by hunters

A thrown stake flies wide

That is so cool. I think it is great how brainy Oz is, but he doesn't make a big deal of it.

Can you tell I don't want to write about Buffy? Things have been really weird at home since she got back. Not 'weird' Vampire Slayer weird, just 'weird' intense. Mom's watching her like a hawk, frightened she'll run off again, I guess. And I feel all spacey, like I can't quite get that she's back yet.

It's weird having to wait to use the bathroom again.

**********************************
They totally had sex.

Mom and Giles, that is. Buffy hasn't worked it out yet. She's so dumb. Or maybe she was just too busy sneaking off to notice anything else. I wish I could follow her and see what she was up to, but Mom would ground me forever if I went out at night. Ever since she found out about vampires she's become the Curfew Lady, which totally sucks.

Except last night, that is. Last night Mom said I could go anywhere I liked, as long as I got out of her hair. I was upset at first, but then I realised something weird was going on, because all the adults were acting totally stupid. Buffy told me later that they all ate this magic candy that made them act like teenagers. Really dumb teenagers, if you ask me.

And for the record - Mom as a teenager? Totally a tramp. Now I know where Buffy gets her taste in clothes. Eww.

**********************************
I was at Willow's house last night in an attempt to get away from Buffy and her 'Battle to be Homecoming Queen'. Well, that and Xander was going to be there to try on his tux. No way I was missing that!

Of course, I didn't get to see anything, because he kept hiding behind this screen to get changed, but I had a really good time. They were giggling and telling stories about when they were five. Plus Xander kept messing up his bow tie. I had to help him with it eventually.

Willow's dress was great. Xander just said it was 'nice', but we all know about his dress sense! Oz will really like it. I bet he even smiles.

**********************************
Spike came back to town! He has such cool hair.

Anyway, he came in the house and was all going to bite Mom but then Buffy came in and kicked his butt! And Angel was there which was really weird because I thought he was dead. But at least it explains why Buffy was sneaking off all the time. They've probably been sucking face every day since she got back.

Then Spike said he had Willow and Buffy had to help him or she would die. So Buffy did. If I was her, I would have just beat it out of him. For a Vampire Slayer, she can be really dumb.

**********************************
Buffy's been acting even weirder than usual.

First she wouldn't stop talking about Faith. I didn't even think she liked her, and then suddenly they were all best friends and stuff.

But the last couple of days she has been totally freaky; jumpy all the time. And then these cops came over and asked her about some guy getting killed. Buffy only kills vampires!

I hope things are OK. I might have been sick of hearing Faith's name (though she is pretty cool), but things actually seemed pretty good there for a little while. Not the usual sob-fest that is Buffy's life; I don't think she even mentioned Angel's name for a whole week!

**********************************
Oz came over today to give me another guitar lesson. I pretty much suck at guitar (though Oz doesn't say that of course), but I really like spending time with him because he doesn't treat me like a kid. He treats me ... well, pretty much the same way he treats everyone else. 'Strange, but nice.' That's how Buffy described it.

Of course, the whole point of the lesson was to distract me from Buffy. This demon had infected her so she could hear everyone's thoughts and it was driving her crazy. I don't know why they picked Oz to 'babysit' (I hate that word!). Maybe it was just because he was the only one who wasn't acting all weird about Buffy's mind-reading thing.

Strange, but nice. And totally cool!

**********************************
Wow. I had such a busy summer that I barely wrote in here at all. Time to play 'catch up' on all the news.

Angel left after Buffy blew up the school (I wish she would blow up mine). Good riddance, I say. Buffy moped, of course, but I'm glad he's gone: having him around just made her cry.

Cordelia left, too. She's gone to LA to be an actress. Xander's there too. I got a letter from him the other day. Well, OK, 'we' got a letter, since he sent it to 'The Summers Gals'. When Xander was on his way back from his road trip he stopped off there to see her. That was four weeks ago. I guess he isn't coming back now.

It's probably for the best. I'm sure I would have outgrown him.

**********************************

Oz snuck me into one of his gigs. That was SO cool. And even cooler, he gave me a 'Dingoes Ate My Baby' t-shirt. And Mom, if you are reading this (you know you shouldn't!), he was totally careful to make sure that someone was looking after me the whole time.

Now Buffy and Willow and Oz are at college, and Mom and I have the house to ourselves! Which is really good, now that we know where Buffy is, instead of worrying about her and if she is OK. Well, I think Mom worries, but not in a way that makes her lock me in the house all the time, like she did last summer.

**********************************
Oz is gone.

Willow can't stop crying, and every time I see her, I want to cry, too. I don't know why he is gone, and no-one will tell me (as always!), but I think it had something to do with him being a werewolf.

Just one of the ways that Oz was cool: he was a werewolf, but he never made a big deal of it.

Before he went, he gave me one of his guitar picks. I made him promise to come back and get it, one day. He said he would.

I hope he is OK, and that Willow will be able to stop crying, soon.