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Thor Ships It

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Tony couldn’t help but find this meeting a bit odd. For one Thor was the one to call it. It’s not that Thor wasn’t a big part of the team with all the rights to call in a meeting. But it was Thor.

The guy could barely use his Avenger card, and Tony knew for a fact Thor would rather rush into a battle first and call his troops for help later. He wasn’t the type of guy to hold a meeting first discussing all the details.

Another strange thing was that on his way to the meeting room Tony didn't meet any of the other Avengers.

Normally Steve would have waited for him near the kitchen, and they would have made their way down to the meeting room together. Instead he was all alone.

When Tony reached the Big Room, as Clint had started to call it, he found it to be completely empty, with all of the lights turned off.

“What the hell?” Tony only got the chance to walk two steps inside when someone used a taser on him, electrifying all the cells in his body in a single second.

He couldn’t be very sure, but Tony could swear he had heard a muttered “sorry” as he collapsed on the floor like a broken robot.


When Tony woke up he found himself inside a darkened room, lying on an empty bed.

Even though the lights were turned off he could still make the shapes of the furniture around him: a wooden desk, an empty chair, a nightstand, some paintings and a window. It only took him a couple of minutes to realize he was inside one of the many empty guest rooms in the Avengers’ mansion.

Well whoever kidnapped me this time didn’t really put on much of an effort.

He tried to get up but his body still felt numb from the electrical shock, and all of his efforts only sufficed in the creation a mild headache.

“Tony? Are you awake?”

A voice came from the shadows, a very distinctive male voice that Tony could recognize even in the darkest day of his life, Steve.

"Yes Steve. Did they take you too?” Everything suddenly felt a lot better and a lot more confusing. Having Steve there with him was a comforting, thought it rose up a whole new batch of questions alongside the old ones.

Who had kidnapped them? Why would they want them both? Were they after all of the Avengers? Kidnapping them one by one? Or maybe they just want to use Steve’s blood and Tony’s potential genius?

And most importantly, why the hell were they in the Avengers Mansion?

“Yeah. What did you do to Thor Tony?” Steve had moved from the shadows now, sitting on the chair in front of the desk and facing Tony’s general direction.

Tony couldn’t be very sure on where exactly Steve was looking at due to the lack of light in the bedroom.

He hadn’t tried flipping the switch on yet, but he calculated whoever had took them had broken it otherwise Steve would have turned the light on my now, right?

“Thor? What does Thor have to do with us getting kidnapped? What’s going on Steve?”

“Well he was the one that dragged me here, said there were important things for us to discuss and that you were <just sleeping>.” Tony was surprised to find Steve doing air quotes as he talked, he had no way Steve even knew what air quotes were. Steve also sounded very tired as he talked, as if this was all some stupid joke between kids and he was the mother left to fix up the mess.

“I didn’t do anything! Thor called in a meeting but when I got to the room someone tased me and then I woke up here.” His voice sounded harsh, probably harsher than it should sound like since he was just talking to Steve, who didn’t deserve any of Tony’s yelling.  But this whole story didn’t make any sense, and as each second passed he only got more and more frustrated.

“So…. You didn’t do anything to Thor?” Asked Steve who suddenly looked very lost on what to do. It was almost hilarious how you could throw Captain America into a war, and he would fit into it just peachy,  but if you throw him into the middle of a fight between his friends that isn’t actually a real fight, he’ll just get confused and start looking like a lost puppy.

A very cute lost puppy.

No wait, a normal puppy. Not cute, dammit Tony really needed to stop thinking of his teammate as anything but a non-attractive friend. Steve was from the 40’s for heaven’s sake; he was an honest-to-God American soldier who fought in WWII! He was not, nor will he ever be, gay.

A shame really.

“No. Did you?” Tony knew Steve hadn’t done anything to Thor, Steve never does anything to upset any of his friends, but he felt like asking anyway. Just so things were even between them both.

“No.” His reply was quick and Steve spoke as he looked down on the ground, making him look even more like a lost puppy. It was impressive really, for a man that size to convey such a look of pure adorableness.

In the next few minutes the two men simply stared at random places in the room. Trying to make some sense of what was going on.

So far Tony had only gotten that they had both been kidnapped, Thor was somehow involved, Steve looked cute when he didn’t know what to do and they were inside his Mansion. Quite odd.

In the middle of all the empty staring, Tony decided he mind swell look around in the bedroom and search for some clues as to what was going on.

He searched beneath the bed, inside the drawers in the nightstand, behind the paintings... Meanwhile Steve just looked at him.

Tony knew Steve had probably searched the room before he woke up but if he did, he didn’t say anything about it so Tony just continued to search.

Inside of his pockets Tony had nothing that he could use as a make-shift key for the door. Also whoever had kidnapped them had probably put some kind reinforcement on it, so that brute strength couldn’t smash it down.

Nevertheless he tried to turn the knob; maybe it could help him find out some way to open it. The door opened.

Just like that.

Tony quietly opened it all the way out, not quite believing what his eyes were showing him. Outside of the guest bedroom was one of the many corridors on the Avengers Mansion, and Tony couldn’t be one hundred percent sure but he would guess they were in 1C.

He slowly turned around, looking at Steve squarely in the face as the new light of the corridor illuminated the whole room.

“Steve, did you try to open the door?” He spoke calmly, as if talking to a small child.

“… Not really, since it was Thor that put us here I didn’t think it was necessary.” His gaze shifted to the other side of the bedroom, pointedly avoiding looking at Tony.

After that Tony tried to switch on the light switch. It worked.

The bright light filled the room, though it didn’t make much of a difference since the corridor was already doing that job.

Steve and Tony stood there for a couple of seconds. Well, Tony stood on the doorway, Steve was still sitting by the chair on the desk. Everything still felt very confusing to Tony.

On a normal kidnapping, when the door for your release is opened you usually try to make a break for it. This wasn’t a normal situation though, and for once in his life Tony really didn’t know what he should do. Everything just felt confusing, a bit scary, but mostly confusing.

Tony had a feeling that Steve secretly knew what was going on, and that the other man was either too embarrassed to tell Tony the truth or even though he did know what was going on, he didn’t know what to make of it. Whatever the possibility, Tony knew the chances of Steve telling him were very slim by the way the other man was still looking at the floor.

Tony tentatively took a step outside the bedroom. Nothing happened.

And that was when he heard the giggles coming from the next door.