"Okay, that‘s it. Stop!“ Rodney ordered as he freed himself from John‘s clingy hands and slid off him, rolling to his side next to his lover.
John groaned, clearly displeased. "Come on, McKay. I‘m horny as hell after that spectacular blowjob and your rutting against me.“
As much as Rodney loved it when John started to talk dirty, he had to keep his thoughts together to remember why exactly he didn‘t want to get on with the program. After all, if it hadn't been for John's lack of brains at times, the situation never would have headed south. "I knew it was a bad idea when you started it,“ he grumbled, looking next to him where a still very turned on Sheppard was sprawled on his back. Dear God, who was he to think that he could possibly resist the hottest man in two galaxies? Groaning, he willed his eyes closed and threw an arm over them. Just to make sure.
"Aw, Rodney, but at first you liked it,“ John drawled. "You went all wild on me and couldn‘t get enough of licking and nibbling and biting and fucking me long and hard.“
Rodney had to forcefully pinch himself so that he didn‘t just throw his resistance overboard and his treacherous body back on John.
"Mh, you were so hot shoving your cock deep inside me and plunging in and out of my tight hole until you filled me with your come.“ John‘s voice was hoarse and filled with lust. "Come on, Rodney, I won‘t need much preparation tonight. Just slick your cock and fuck me.“
It took all of Rodney‘s will to stay put and to not do what John was begging him to do. John, that little bastard, who couldn‘t stop teasing him and knew just how much he longed to fuck him into next week right now. Rodney tried to concentrate on breathing in and out, and in and out, slowly, reciting pi in his head. He hated to cave in and he intended not to do so in this case.
Until he heard it.
Due (thanks) to his lack of vision, his sense of hearing was heightened so that he couldn't not hear it.
A sliding sound. Slick and wet. Rhythmical. Accompanied by gasps.
That was it. There was just so much that a man could take, and he was only a man after all, genius notwithstanding.
Jerking upright and staring at the ceiling, he snapped, "How could you have engaged in that stupid bet in the first place, I wonder? Obviously, your ridiculous hair doesn‘t only grow outside your head.“
And then he made the biggest mistake one could make in this situation. He turned his gaze back on the man that was currently driving him nuts, no pun intended, and was confronted with a sight that made his dick twitch with anticipation.
John was holding his gorgeous cock in his right hand, jacking off lazily, while his left hand roamed across his sweaty chest, half-lidded eyes watching him. "I thought I‘d win,“ he whispered barely audibly.
"Then you‘re even dumber than you look,“ Rodney retorted, working himself up into a nice little rant. "You would have never, not in a million years, beaten Ronon in an eating contest. That guy just has way more space than you for all those hamburger-like thingies you shovelled in you.“
A sly grin spread on John‘s face. "Yeah, probably, but just imagine what Ronon‘s stake was and what he would have looked like if he had lost. I couldn‘t pass on that.“
Ronon‘s stake had been to go to planet Kindergarten, as Rodney called M7G-677 in his head, the planet they had visited in their first year where he had been saddled with those two grubby little brats. He remembered very well what Zelenka had looked like after he had been there and could picture vividly what the rugrats would have done to Ronon. Yeah, well, he wouldn‘t have been able to say no to the bet himself, childish or not.
But Sheppard must not know that. Ever.
Hiding the smile that crept on his face, he cleared his throat and flailed his arms as if to push away this way too diverting picture. "Anyway, your wager wasn‘t exactly any less. You could have at least proposed a different stake. Or wormed your way out of that one. Or... or pretended to eat more burgers but instead slid them into your sleeve.“
John‘s hands stilled and his eyes grew piercing. "Are you saying that I should have cheated on Ronon?“ If possible, his gaze became even more stabbing. "I don‘t cheat, Rodney. For anything. On anyone.“
Rodney sighed, defeated. "I know.“ He scratched his chest absent-mindedly and hissed when it burned. Immediately, his petulance was back with full force. "But look at my chest! Look at what you‘ve done to it! It‘s all red and sore and so are my fingers. Hello, scientist working with delicate machinery here! I need my fingers fully functional!“
One of John‘s eyebrows climbed up as he drawled, "Exaggerating much?“
"No,“ Rodney grumbled with crossed arms. And if that made him look like a stubborn child, he didn‘t give a damn. "Just pissed that your smooth and scratchy chest hair is gone in favor of that prickly stubble.“
Now, the other eyebrow rose as well, leaving John looking rather irritated. "My chest hair can‘t be smooth and scratchy at the same time, Rodney. You have to decide.“
Rodney waved one hand. "Whatever. It was better before you shaved it off. I want your chest hair back!“
John sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay. It‘ll grow back. Now, can we please get on with fucking?“
"No, we cannot, Colonel,“ Rodney replied indignantly. "I‘ve just explained to you that I don‘t want any more stubble burn. So no sex until your chest‘s all hairy again.“
Wide eyes stared at him with horror. "You‘ve got to be kidding me, McKay!“
"No, I‘m deadly serious.“ Rodney pointedly didn‘t look at his lover. Otherwise, he probably wouldn‘t have had the power to turn him down.
He could hear John sit up straight behind him and feel his tentative touch on his shoulders a second later. "Please, Rodney, I want you! There's gotta be some way I could make you have sex with me right now. Maybe some Ancient gizmo that lets hair grow?“
Rodney snorted at that. "Don‘t you think I wouldn‘t have used it on my hair first thing?“
"No, I don‘t,“ John, the little crawler, said and stroked through his hair.
After a couple more strokes, Rodney felt himself starting to relax and grow weaker against John‘s attempts at persuasion. However, he did have pride. He couldn‘t be that easy. "Still no sex,“ he announced more calmly.
"Please, Rodney,“ John begged, sounding desperate and extending his petting to Rodney‘s shoulders and upper arms.
"There might be a way“, he conceded reluctantly, but couldn‘t bring himself to say or do more than to close his eyes and lean into the caresses.
"What is it, Rodney? Tell me. I‘d do anything,“ John whispered into his ear and licked it teasingly.
A shudder went through Rodney‘s body and his breath hitched in his throat. He had to clear it before he was able to say, "Put on a shirt.“
Behind him he could feel John stir and then become still, hands resting on his arms. Rodney was beginning to feel foolish for his suggestion, when John finally sank his forehead against his nape, laughing softly. "Rodney, you really are a genius.“ A second later, he was up and about looking where they‘d tossed his shirt earlier.
Rodney couldn‘t help but grin smugly. "Ever had a doubt?“
Pulling his shirt over his head, John replied, "Nah, never,“ before he eagerly pushed Rodney on his back and straddled him. He leaned down to kiss him but just before their lips touched, he breathed, "By the way, I‘m so gonna tease you for loving my body hair that much for, oh say, the rest of your life.“
Then Rodney was being kissed thoroughly, not caring if the smile on John‘s lips was on the spiteful or the loving side. It might have been a bit of both.