She’s young and, believe it or not, more than a little naïve, and when her father comes home alone, her world shatters around her for the first time in her short life.
She buries herself in school work until her grades get as high as they can be, because that’s the only way she wants to remember her mother right now: proud and smiling because of something she did.
In a way, Daniel is the most difficult—as far as you can even quantify loss on a scale or in a diagram, but she’s always been rational, logical, methodical. This is no different. Except… when she breaks down, there’s nothing rational or logical about it, all she does is feel, and it changes her in ways she can’t quite understand.
She’s not prepared to have her best friend ripped out of their midst. They’ve talked about it, about how lucky they are not to have lost anyone (for good—Daniel’s return has re-filled a void unlike any other she’s known before). Until this day. Until Janet. The tears are hot against her skin, the only thing she feels for a long, long time.
There’s a peace in his eyes right before he closes them that she has never seen before—in anyone. In a strange way, she is glad this is how it happened. Usually, in their line of work, there is no warning, no time to say I love you, not even time for a goodbye. And she meant it when she said that those past four years have been the best she’s ever had with her dad. It makes it easier to keep breathing when it’s time.
She saves him once, she saves him twice, she saves him a million times. A million times but one.
The staff blast hits him straight in the chest, and she knows before he hits the ground that he won’t be recovering from this. She yells out something, but won’t remember what, while she rushes to his side, cradling his head in her hands. There’s nothing she can do to fix it, and for the first time since she joined the SGC, she feels completely helpless. This isn’t what it was supposed to be like. Of all the people in her life, he’s the one she was never supposed to lose (love). Of all the people she’s lost, he’s the one she never quite recovers from.