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"You will copulate--or die," the Melagian informed them.

Spock and McCoy clenched their fists simultaneously. The walls of the cage that held them appeared to be made from a type of plexiglass, but much, much stronger. They'd already tried to break their way out while the white haired, purple skinned, humanoid aliens spent a liberal amount of time discussing their fate.

"Copulate?" McCoy shrieked at them--rather hysterically--Spock noted. "Come on! Us? Together? Forget it! Why don't you just kill us now?"

"Doctor." Spock tapped McCoy in the side with a finger. McCoy glared back at him. It was bound to happen to them eventually. Jim Kirk had experienced this scenario plenty of times. It seemed that every other planet's government wanted to study the captain copulating-- sometimes with one lucky volunteer of their own, but usually the planetary government wanted to watch the captain engage in sexual intercourse with a member of his crew to study human mating habits. The count was up to seven crew members so far: Sulu, Scotty, Rand, Chapel, Connors, Leslie and Lemli.

So, Spock and McCoy had counted themselves extremely fortunate, till now. They were scientists not gigolos. They had beamed down to Melagius III, a world independent of the Federation, in an unpopulated area on what was supposed to be a routine science away mission. The captain had forbidden them to come into contact with the natives as of yet and had remained aboard ship to await his officer's return.

They had been kidnapped while McCoy had been in the middle of the task of taking random soil samples and Spock had been engrossed in scanning native plants with his tri-corder. Both had been caught with their britches down so to speak. Actually McCoy was literally caught with his britches down as he had been urinating in the bushes. At any rate, Spock's elevated hearing hadn't even alerted them to the alien's sudden appearance. Their communicators and weapons and the tri-corders were all in the hands of their captors and so here they were, in this…thing that they couldn't be beamed out of. Oh, Joy.

"We grow tired of your insolence." The Melagian pressed a button. McCoy doubled over in searing agony, screaming and gasping--a horrific sound that Spock had never heard from him. The doctor collapsed to the floor, writhing in pain, perspiration pouring down his face.

"Please," Spock found himself begging the alien. "Please, you must stop! Please cease."

"Will you comply?"

Neither Spock nor McCoy would answer and the torture continued.

"We will quite readily terminate Dr. McCoy's life if you do not comply. Then we shall beam down another member of your crew to fulfill our demands. You cannot resist us."

"Stop this!" Spock shouted. "Stop!"

"Comply."

More tense, long, agonizing moments went by. McCoy's mouth formed an anguished 'no' but Spock knelt down next to the physician and spoke to the aliens finally and with authority. "We will comply."

McCoy was released from the hold as quickly as he had been taken. He recovered as he lay on the floor of the cell, breathing heavily. Spock lay a hand on the man's shivering back as McCoy ground out: "Don't...touch me...asshole...do...you realize what they want us...to do?"

"I know," Spock said quietly, his voice grave. "I cannot allow you to be harmed or killed."

"I'm alright, Spock...I'm alright. Goddamned fallacy of false choice... is what this is…who the hell do they think they are?" Spock stood up to allow McCoy some breathing room. Eventually the CMO also clambered to his feet. "So," he said to the alien, "What exactly do you want from us? What is it do you want us to do?"

"We have decided we shall like one of you to penetrate the other, resulting in your mutual orgasm."

"What about penetrating the mouth?" McCoy volleyed back. Spock threw McCoy a quizzical glance and McCoy whispered: "I'm trying to see if we can get away with a blow-job."

Spock raised an eyebrow. Some sort of sexual act, no doubt.

The Melagian council--yes, there now appeared to be a whole throng looking on--consulted each other then turned back to them. "Oral stimulation is allowed for foreplay but the final result must be anal penetration."

"Well, that's just great. You better have some damned good lube!"

"All comforts will be provided for," the council said. Spock and McCoy felt themselves become immobile and began to disappear in a transporter beam. Hopefully it was their own.

*

They had not materialized back aboard ship, the beam proving to be merely local.

Spock found himself in a small sterile antechamber. An attendant forced him to remove his uniform and underwear then submit to a complete physical. Rather than being handed back his clothing he was made to don a satin--yes, a satin--red robe that fell to his mid thigh. He was nude underneath. McCoy was not present. The physician's absence was disturbing due to the aliens lack of hesitation to severely injure him and the human's tendency to be quick to verbalize his anger.

Spock was then escorted via gunpoint down a corridor to a red door. The door opened, he was pushed inside and the door shut behind him.

He was in a rather large, luxuriously appointed bedroom, with dusky pink and silver wall-paper and a pink "shag" style carpeting. In the center of the room was a sumptuous bed, more than adequate to accommodate two persons, of course. Along one wall was a picture window with a red curtain. Along another wall was a heart shaped, red velvet couch. Fascinating. Spock immediately began searching for any way out, any possible escape route. There was none. He gave up, parted the curtain at the window and looked out onto the darkness and stars. The Enterprise was most certainly in the atmosphere in tight orbit but could not help them, not now.

Spock turned as Dr. McCoy was shoved unceremoniously into the chamber. The man staggered through and landed heavily onto the bed, his hands taking most of the fall. Spock thought of going to him, to assist him, but thought better of it. McCoy got up, composed himself and joined him looking out the window. McCoy was now clad in a satin robe much like Spock's, but in an azure coloring that matched his eyes. It made them appear to glow.

"I hope blue's your favorite color," McCoy said softly, almost too resignedly, but still in that typical sarcastic manner in times of difficulty. "They gave me a choice on which color robe I wanted, isn't that insane?" McCoy glanced around at the lush surroundings. "What the hell is this? Look at this 'Pepto Bismol' colored carpet. Makes a man want to puke."

"Pepto Bismol?"

McCoy's eyes finally rested on the velvet couch. "This is a nightmare. A swanky honeymoon suite in hell." McCoy walked around the room searching for something, checking drawers in a bedside cabinet. He pulled out a tube of lubricant and slapped it down onto the end table. "They supplied lube but no booze. That's just great. Torture me even more," he complained, sinking down heavily on the couch. McCoy's hands stroked the fabric but his eyes darted back and forth as he did so. He seemed especially skittish. "Not even any Champagne? Ya think we could call room service, Mr. Spock?"

Spock sat down next to him but McCoy stood up and scurried over to the window. "Did the Melagians injure you further?" he called back to the man.

"I'm fine, Spock. Why are you so worried about me?"

"They seem overly obsessed with causing your discomfort."

"Oh," McCoy said, almost with relief. "Yeah." McCoy remained standing at the window, avoiding Spock's gaze, instead staring out at the stars. "Celieus Major system," he announced quite unnecessarily.

Spock stood from the couch and came up close behind the doctor. "Indeed."

The doctor's breathing was uneven. Spock could hear him gulp as he whispered: "Apparently we only have to 'copulate' once. Before dawn. They're watching us. We stay the night here and in the morning they'll let us out to go back to the ship. We hope."

"Yes, they informed me of the same conditions. We only know what they are capable of if we do not obey their wishes."

"You ever done this before? Been with another male?"

"I have not engaged in coitus with another male."

"What about with a woman?"

"A woman, yes."

"Was it that girl, on that planet," McCoy turned to face him. He sounded odd as he stammered: "y'know, with those plants?"

"If you are referring to Leila Kalomi," Spock said. "It was."

"I thought so," McCoy replied. Spock raised an eyebrow and shrugged at the same time. "Wasn't consensual, was it."

"I was under the influence of a powerful drug."

"Then, the answer is 'no'."

Spock cleared his throat and changed the subject. "What about you, Doctor?"

McCoy coughed then moved away from him and once again sat ramrod straight on the sofa. "Well, I'm no Jim Kirk. You'd probably be better off in this situation with him. I don't usually like to discuss my personal history."

Spock came to sit down on the couch next to McCoy once again. McCoy was about to stand, when Spock clamped a hand on his shoulder. "I know this is uncomfortable. However, this is unavoidable."

McCoy rolled his eyes at that. "I had one girlfriend in college, named Emony, she was my first." At Spock's silence, he hissed: "First sexual experience. Age nineteen, alright? Then I got married to someone else: Jocelyn, we had a kid, then we divorced and then I've been in one serious relationship since the divorce--and that was with a woman, and uh… then there was maybe… some experience with female prostitutes on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet since then."

McCoy turned crimson at the admission. It appeared he was ashamed of the prostitutes so Spock did not comment on them. "Ah. Nancy Crater."

"Wasn't really her when you met her, was it?" McCoy looked down at his bare feet. "Listen, uh, I've watched some gay porn so that's about the extent of any personal male on male sexual education…uh…outside of medical research….uh…I mean I've studied the logistics on many different types of sex and I've given plenty of manual prostate exams and received some. It was required in med school--"

Spock cut off the doctor's rambling. "I understand. You have never experienced sexual intercourse with a male."

"Well, how different can fucking a walking computer be, right?"

Spock narrowed his eyes at the dig. Evidently it was McCoy's way of bringing shipboard familiarity into this surreal situation. "It is no different to 'fucking' a highly emotional, illogical, physically unappealing, frankly irritating, sexually inept Chief Medical Officer."

"Sexually inept? Who've you been talking to? At least I've had more partners than you've had!"

"Quantity and quality are not synonymous, Dr. McCoy."

McCoy seemed to want to come back with a retort but suddenly broke down in hysterical laughter.

"What is it, Doctor?"

"Say 'fuck' again. Please."

Spock rolled his eyes in much the same way Dr. McCoy usually did, but obliged him. "Fuck? The word itself has no meaning to me, but I am aware that it is a vulgar--" He broke off at the doctor's childish giggle. "Doctor?"

McCoy again tittered strangely as he fidgeted with the tie of his robe. "I don't know why, but that's turning me on a little bit."

Spock glanced over but could discern no telltale erection on the doctor. "Then we should commence. Perhaps we should 'go to bed', as they say."

"Might as well get it over with," McCoy agreed. Spock nodded then moved from the sofa to sit on the bed. McCoy followed him closely but halted as he reached the foot of it. McCoy slowly began to untie his robe, in almost a teasing manner. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours!" He shook his head and let the robe drop onto the floor, leaving a pool of satin blue at the man's feet. It did appear that the doctor was using humor in an attempt to offset the humiliation of this violation of privacy. McCoy met Spock's eyes. "What do you think?"

"About what?"

"My physique?" McCoy's demeanor had become bizarrely coy or more precisely termed: 'kittenish', an attitude that Spock had never witnessed from the man before. More importantly, he'd never seen McCoy nude before so took the rare opportunity to thoroughly visually study the man's body. The human had never even appeared in front of him shirtless before, much less completely unclothed. The man was slim like himself and had good muscle tone. The doctor's penis and testicles also looked nearly identical to his own, save for a skin covering much of the glans and an unusual pink hue. Now, as for the doctor's body--

"Fascinating." At that, McCoy brightened till Spock noted: "You are quite hirsute."

McCoy bristled and came nearer as if to attack, his blue eyes flashing. "Hirsute?! I'm no hairier than you are, Mr. Spock. You have quite a bit of body hair. And, oh yes, I've seen you naked before, lots of times. Too many times. More times than I can count. Every goddamned time you manage to land yourself in my sickbay, I peel off your shredded uniform and I have to see you naked--emphasis on the 'have to'!"

"I would think my body would be a sight one would look forward to."

McCoy scowled for some moments then his expression changed to something bordering on mischievousness. "We'll see about that. Take your robe off."

Spock knew completely disrobing in this way-- in an intimate fashion--would have to happen eventually, but as it got down to it, it seemed more logical to stall, so he hesitated.

"Lights to ten percent," McCoy called out helpfully. They dimmed as ordered. "The Melagians can still watch us--those sick fucks-- so the lights won't go out all the way." He came to stand near Spock's legs and motioned at him. Spock finally did remove his robe. He folded it precisely and placed it carefully on the nightstand. McCoy raised an amused eyebrow. "Did you learn that in Basic Training?"

"Pardon?"

"Never mind, Mr. Spock." McCoy knelt down, landing his hands on Spock's thighs then caressing them awkwardly. Still the contact was pleasurable and Spock closed his eyes at the sensations. However, McCoy's nervousness and reluctance to touch Spock in this manner was broadcasting quite loudly. McCoy suddenly jerked his hands away as if burned. Spock felt a thud on the bed and he opened his eyes to find McCoy sitting close by, huddled over, hands on knees. Spock found himself reaching over… to perhaps soothe the man. The doctor arched his back at the touch, squirming away.

Spock removed the offending hand. "Are you alright?"

McCoy looked back at him in undisguised anguish. "I don't even know...what you would like--what would pleas--I mean--Goddammit." McCoy was red faced, flustered, embarrassed, angry, concerned; every emotion ghosting across the honest blue eyes.

"I engage in sex in a similar fashion to how a human male presumably would. I encourage you to concentrate on pleasuring yourself, not me."

"You can feel pleasure this way, right?"

"Of course."

McCoy appeared to calm slightly. "What do you want to do?"

"As I have little experience in sexual activity, I do not know."

"Well, I don't know, either." McCoy chewed on his thumb. Again the man was perspiring profusely, even in the cold air of the room. He wiped the moisture from his eye. "At any rate, the first time probably won't feel that good, anyway. Not at first." He motioned helplessly in the air. "The penetrating, I'm saying. I mean, both of us are pretty hung."

"I do not understand your phraseology."

"The circumference of our respective penile organs are rather girthy, so either way…it has to go through a tight sphincter muscle to reach the rectum." McCoy demonstrated with his hands. "You get me?"

"It is logical to assume that an orifice that has not been stretched in that way, will be the source of some discomfort."

"The medical term is anodyspareunia, Mr. Spock."

"Ah."

McCoy hesitated, then asked: "So, which one of us is sacrificing their virgin ass for this mission?"

Spock contemplated this for a moment. "I do not know."

"You're the commander!" McCoy snapped. "Make the decision!"

"Certainly. I will be the one penetrated."

McCoy's face twitched. "Why you?"

"If there is as much pain as you claim there is, I can control it much more efficiently than you could."

McCoy bit his lip. "No, no. It should be me."

"I have already made the decision, Doctor."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Affirmative."

"Either way, neither one of us knows what the hell we're doing."

"Correct. Our current combined knowledge is purely theoretical. As you yourself have indicated, I am also reluctant to proceed. However, as there is no other way out, I do accept our fate."

"Why, thank you." A reluctant smirk erupted on the physician's face.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"You kinda think I'm sexy." McCoy was seized by some type of courage and pushed Spock down on the bed.

Spock allowed himself to fall back, hitting the pillow. "I did not say that."

"I caught the subtext."

"There was none intended." Spock's eyes narrowed when he saw McCoy moving stealthily. "What are you doing?"

"Lie back, and shut up. We're trying to discuss this naked and that's ridiculous."

"I do not find it so."

"Well, it is," McCoy insisted. "Look at you. You're not even aroused."

Spock got up on one elbow. "Neither are you."

McCoy's face got closer to Spock's genitals, he was so close in fact that Spock could feel the doctor's warm breath on his penis. "We'll have to remedy that."

"How?"

"Know what a blow job is?"

"A 'blow-job'?" Spock wondered.

McCoy chuckled. "There you go again, talking filthy. I've never done this before, so…save the reviews till a subsequent attempt." McCoy stuck his tongue out and laughed loudly at some strange secret joke perhaps but Spock had no idea what the man found so amusing. The doctor's hands were on him again, caressing his chest, his thighs. Most interestingly there was a hand exploring his still soft organ, pumping it to really no discernible effect. McCoy frowned. "Does this thing even work?"

Spock raised an unappreciative eyebrow and lay back again. He closed his eyes and willed himself to concentrate on pleasure and submitted to this contact, this tactile inspection, reluctantly…that is until he felt McCoy's warm mouth envelop his organ. The sensations forced open his eyes. It felt…surprisingly good. The doctor's tongue slowly but firmly teased the glans, then slid down his shaft. That seemed to do the trick, he lost that part of his control and immediately reached full aching hardness, leaking fluid as the organ was designed to do.

McCoy appeared triumphant before he dove down and took Spock in his mouth to the hilt. Spock could not help but let out a soft "ahh". He reached for and grabbed onto McCoy's hand, caressing the other's fingers with his own. His fingers slid over McCoy's pinky ring, warm with his body heat. Spock's other hand cupped the scruff of the doctor's neck. If McCoy had been timid to attempt this at first, he was now gaining an erotic confidence in his ministrations. Spock pulled the doctor's left hand up to his mouth, licked then sucked on the other's fingers as eagerly as McCoy sucked on his penis. McCoy moaned and Spock could feel the sound reverberating around himself… but he could sense something was off…

McCoy stopped and sat up when he noticed Spock staring at him. "What's the matter?"

Spock indicated McCoy's genitalia. "You are still flaccid."

"Huh?" McCoy seemed dazed for a moment, then looked down. He looked back up, scowling. "It's a halfie. I'm gettin' there."

"Your penis appears to be entirely non functional."

"Non functional?! Blast it! I'll get hard when I'm good and ready! It's not easy knowing they're watching. Why don't you suck on MY dick and we'll see how functional I get, and you'd better do a damned good job like I'm doing--"

Spock broke in. "This is terribly inefficient. Time is of the utmost importance. A different course of action is required."

"What?!" the doctor sputtered as Spock moved quickly, capturing McCoy in his grasp, flipping the human over onto his stomach, pinning him by the small of his back. "What the hell are you doing you goddamned… Vulcan?!"

Spock busied himself with caressing the doctor's firm buttocks, since the smooth skin was indeed pleasing to the fingers and touching them appeared to annoy the man so. "I am the one with the erection, ergo I shall be the penetrator."

"I need more time!" McCoy seethed. "Logic doesn't work like that, you--"

Spock continued to hold down the struggling human. "Lubricant, Doctor. It is within your easy reach."

"The hell it is," McCoy snapped back, but grabbed the lube and handed it over. "You're gonna hurt me. You don't know what you're doing."

Spock continued his exploration of the other's mounds, exploring the cleft, then down to the perineum and further down to the soft testicular skin. "I am confident you shall talk me through the act. Please endeavor to relax."

McCoy squirmed. "I am relaxed!"

"You are as coiled up as a Th'rungen'ie before one attacks." He moved to stroke the doctor's lower back, then down again to the smooth buttocks. Fascinating, McCoy's buttocks were completely hairless, unlike much of the front of the body. He spread the cheeks apart, exposing the area of interest.

"What the devil is a Th'rungen'ie?" McCoy muttered into the pillow. "Hey! Lube your finger before inserting it and be careful."

"Of course."

"Just one finger, mind you. Secundus Manus. Wait till I tell you I'm ready for a second."

"Certainly." Spock circled the entry with his index finger.

"Hurry up, or else we're gonna be here all--Oooh!" Spock halted at the first knuckle, waited but only a moment then slid it a fraction deeper. The doctor let out a strangled: "Uhhh." Spock removed it with an audible sigh. "What now?"

"You are extremely tense."

"Why, thank you, Commander Obvious. I'm human! I can't help it."

"Trust me."

"I do trust you," McCoy insisted. Spock, having enough of this 'bullshit' as McCoy would say, grabbed him by the slender hips, pulling him up on all fours. "Wait! You can't fuck me yet, I'm not reaaady--" A low noise started in McCoy's throat, increasing into a Le'Matya style howl as Spock leaned down and tongued the delicate pucker. "Ohhhhhh….What the hell are you--Dammit that feels good."

"Shhhh." Spock dove down once again, performing the act of anilingus as precisely as he had seen it demonstrated in an educational vid he had viewed in a sexual health seminar, long ago, required for all cadets at the academy. He went further by inserting his tongue as deeply as he could into the rectum. McCoy relaxed quite satisfactorily now, as the stream of profanity and moans, the arch of the back, the tumescence, the sudden wave of arousal coming off the man indicated. Things were able to proceed rather swiftly from here. He slid his finger all the way in.

"Find my prostate gland..." McCoy gasped out. "Approximately 8.9 centimeters deep…no…on the same side as the penis...okay now press on it...ohhhh...Mother of God!"

Spock massaged the prostate for as long as the doctor could stand it then eased off and added another finger. Then, at McCoy's urging, another. He worked at stretching the anus and rectum to McCoy's constant soundtrack of comments, direction, moans, cries, heavy breathing, ad infinitum… and of course the barrage of emotions emitting from the skin to skin contact.

Spock took the next step: Readying himself for penetration.

He withdrew his fingers. It was quiet as he spread copious amounts of the lubricant on his fully engorged penis.

"Use a ton," came the command from in front.

"I am aware." He lined his penis up to the entrance, steadying himself with his other hand on the man's hip.

The human tensed up again. "Go easy."

Spock rubbed a hand up and down McCoy's sweaty back. "I will be careful."

They emitted a combined sharp gasp when he gently pushed in.

It did hurt McCoy, but only briefly. Spock waited patiently giving the man plenty of time to adjust to this invasion.

McCoy finally nodded for Spock to begin inching in deeper. Spock slowly sank all the way in to the hilt. He paused again, giving…Leonard… another few moments, waiting till the man began to writhe underneath him. McCoy was warm, tight and inviting. This act of coitus was proving extremely pleasurable. As Spock rocked within him, McCoy creeped a hand over to masturbate himself. Spock thrust deeper and harder, encouraged by the sounds McCoy was making. They fell into a rhythm which became frantic for a few seconds until McCoy emitted a sharp cry out, his body clamping tightly around Spock. The added friction and sensations was enough to push Spock over the edge and with a groan he ejaculated deep inside the human's body.

For a few moments they remained as they were, panting.

Spock gently pulled out of McCoy and the human sank down onto the bed. Spock moved away from him, to the edge. McCoy immediately rose and headed into the attached bathroom, seemingly walking with a slight limp, shutting the door behind him.

After a few moments, Spock could hear water running from the shower. McCoy remained in the bathroom for approximately 35.07 minutes, before the door reopened and he emerged with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Shower's nice, at least," McCoy informed him flatly. Spock nodded and headed over to clean himself up.

Spock returned to find McCoy already in bed, on the left hand side, far from the centre, staring up the ceiling. "Lucky for us, I managed not to make a mess of the sheets."

Spock joined him on the bed, on the right hand side, as far from center as he could go, as well. "Fortuitous."

The Melagian's apparently were satisfied at what had transpired between them. The dim lights illuminating the room suddenly faded to darkness. "Goodnight, sweetheart," McCoy said with profound sarcasm.

Spock waited in the dark till he could hear McCoy's snores, then eventually fell asleep.

*
It was cold. As richly appointed as this bedroom was, it was still a cell that contained them and cells were always cold. That must be it--the only logical conclusion. Spock was genetically predisposed to seek out warmth. He blinked himself awake, it was still early and therefore dark.

To Spock's utter amazement he found himself completely wrapped around McCoy. They had been on opposite sides of the bed to begin with and now they were so entangled. The doctor's head rested on his chest. Spock's fingers combed through McCoy's soft head of hair, McCoy in turn was stroked the hair on Spock's chest, apparently in his sleep, as they both lay in the dead center of the bed.

The warmth of the slumbering body next to Spock must have been why he did not push the doctor away…Leonard… Why did he not mind when McCoy was suddenly on him and seeking out his mouth, or was it he himself who had initiated the oral contact? Whoever had initiated it, it was pleasing and he did not want to end it, nor did he and soon their tongues and fingers were as intertwined as their bodies. Odd, they hadn't even thought to kiss the first time.

They turned into each other. Both were achingly aroused and moved against one another, fitting together perfectly.

It felt pleasurable and warm. Neither stopped what they were doing till it reached it's natural conclusion.

*

James T. Kirk paced nervously in Transporter room C as Scotty calmly manned the controls. There'd been no contact from either one of his officers for a full twenty-four hours. They'd simply disappeared from all comm contact, then off of the planetary scans. Then at hour twenty-five, Spock's austere voice had rung out: "Two to beam up" and now here they were, materializing on the platform. No explanation from Mr. Spock as to where in the hell they had been, what had happened to them in the space of that time, nothing.

Kirk stood there tapping his foot as Spock and Bones finally solidified. "Well?"

They looked healthy enough. Uninjured. Bones was scowling, but that wasn't anything unusual. However they appeared…distant. Their eyes were glazed. "Captain," Spock replied stiffly (even more so than usual).

"Anytime you're ready to tell me what happened down there, Gentlemen."

"We'll give you a detailed report, Jim," McCoy snapped. Spock turned sharply towards the doctor but said nothing.

"I thought I told you to have no contact with the natives?"

"You sure did, didn't ya, Jim," McCoy replied. "Well, I'm sorry to say, we did."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"They contacted the ship, told me they enjoyed your company, and they want to join the Federation, and get this…the planet is loaded with di-lithium," Kirk informed them incredulously.

"Fascinating," Spock said.

"That's wonderful, Jim," McCoy said glumly. "Now kindly let me and your first officer get to sickbay for our routine post-planetary check-up."

"Bones," Jim replied. "Bones!" The CMO did not bother answering his captain and strode out of the transporter room with Mr. Spock in tow.

*

Dr. McCoy remained utterly professional as usual during the routine examination. "You're 'four-oh' and dismissed from my sickbay, Mr. Spock. Get some rest. And eat something. You're too damned thin."

Spock met McCoy's eyes. "As are you, Leonard."

McCoy scrunched his face in an odd way and walked off, muttering under his breath.

*

TWO WEEKS LATER

Kirk found McCoy late one evening in the CMO's office, hunched over a double bourbon on the rocks. He sat down at the desk, across from the physician who was quite obviously three sheets to the wind. "I'll have what you're having."

Bones eyed him. "I don't recall inviting you to this party."

"Your pity party?"

Bones pulled out a glass, slammed it down and poured one for Kirk. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about."

"Your report was interesting. Four days late, but interesting."

"I'm off duty, Captain sir. Why don't you go play chess with your pointy eared first officer?"

"Nope." Kirk took a sip of his drink. "He's just as warm and friendly as you are."

"Hmph. Not my problem."

"No?"

"Nope."

"The report said: They took you captive, kept you both sequestered overnight in a luxurious, honeymoon style accommodation, observing you for a while, fed you breakfast and then let you go. Just like that."

"Uh, huh," Bones agreed. "Then they contacted you, offered to join the Federation and give us unlimited access to their di-lithium. Just like I said, Jim."

"Right," Jim said. He took another sip. "Y'know, it's funny. Spock wrote his report in exactly the same verbiage as you did."

"So? We're both scientists, we're bound to use--"

"And furthermore, you have been avoiding each other like the plague for two weeks. Two weeks! No arguments, no fights, no discussions, no nothing. Do you realize how quiet the bridge has been?"

"Don't know what you mean. I am extremely busy down here doing my job. In sickbay where I belong, thank you very much."

"You know what I think? I think that you and Mr. Spock both are the Grand Poobahs of bullshit artists."

"What?"

Kirk took another sip, emptying the glass. Bones was drinking the good stuff. He motioned for another. Bones frowned and poured. "Bones, your report has enough holes in it to fly a shuttlecraft through. Why don't you try telling me what really happened down there?"

Bones hesitated. "Spock tell you anything?"

"What do you think?"

"Oh." Bones itched the scruff on his face.

"Bones, do you know why I didn't want you and Spock to have any contact with the Melagians? Because, their reputation precedes them. They're an extremely voyeuristic people. That's their thing. They love to watch people, especially other cultures, having sex."

"Is that right?" Bones drawled.

"Bones." Kirk hoped there was enough warning in his voice to force out a confession.

Bones buried his face in his hands. "Fine. They made us do it or they said they'd kill us, or actually me, but I'm sure they would have killed Spock too."

"Do what?" Jim was nervous for a moment, maybe Spock and Bones had been forced to do something else--

Bones glared at his captain. "Fuck, Jim. They made us fuck."

"They made you fuck or they said they'd kill you? But, that's…that's…"

"Yeah, Jim. Most definitely."

"And they watched you?"

"They weren't in the room with us, but yeah, they were watching."

"Oh, Jesus."

"Yeah," Bones replied, letting out a breath. "The first time was awkward as hell--"

"Wait, how many times did you--"

"We only had to do it once. That was the agreement, then we could just…go to sleep till morning. But…here's the thing, I think they drugged us."

"Did they?"

"Nothing showed up on the exam in sickbay…but you never know, do you?"

"No, I suppose not." Jim cleared his throat. "I can't believe you actually fucked Spock."

"Well," Bones said. "He fucked me, to be precise. And…by the third time he was getting pretty damned good at it."

"The third time? But you said you only had to do it once."

"Yeah, we did it once, fell asleep, then woke up in the middle of night, did it again. Then in the morning we did it once more, in the shower. We'd have probably done it again but it was time to beam back aboard."

"And that's because they drugged you."

"Well, I don't know for certain if they did or not."

"Did it feel as though you were drugged?"

"No."

"So…the second and third time," Kirk reasoned. "That might have been…consensual?"

"I don't know. It's Spock, Jim!" Bones threw his hands up. "Spock!"

"Yeah? So?"

Bones smacked his hands down onto the desk. "You just said you couldn't believe it. I can't believe it either. He's not the type of guy who has sexual relations unless he absolutely has to, Jim. But, I don't understand it. He was…really into it. Really seemed like he enjoyed it."

"Maybe he did."

"No, no."

"Did you ask him if he enjoyed it?"

"Yeah."

This was like pulling teeth. "And what did he say?" Jim asked patiently.

"He said: 'I enjoyed it immensely, with you'."

Kirk sighed. "Well then, maybe he did."

"Oh, pffft," Bones replied.

"Maybe he's attracted to you," Jim suggested.

"Oh, no." Bones again buried his head in his arms on the desk. "No."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Except that, I think I'm attracted to him." Bones began to sob, but he was drunk off of his ass, so that was to be expected.

"Well you, Doctor, are going to have to sort it out with the science officer. Sober up and go talk to him. Tonight. That's an order. And don't fall into bed together. Just talk. Think you can handle that?"

Jim abruptly exited and McCoy hunted desperately for something to throw at the doors. He settled for the nearby stylus.

*

Spock was fully engrossed in tuning his Vulcan harp, when he heard the buzzer. "Come," he called out.

McCoy entered. "Hi."

"Hello."

"What'cha doin?"

Spock looked at his harp, then back at the doctor. "I would think that blatantly obvious."

"Right," McCoy said. "Anyway, just…uh…came by to see how things were going."

Spock stood up and began to set the harp back on it's resting place.

"Oh. You don't have to do that on my account," McCoy told him.

Spock halted. "Do you wish me to play for you?"

"Please do," McCoy replied and seated himself. Spock played him an enchanting tune. McCoy appeared absolutely enraptured. The tune ended and the man beamed. "That was wonderful."

Spock laid the harp carefully on his desk. "That is an ancient Vulcan mating tune."

McCoy coughed and sputtered. He balled a fist to his chest in an attempt to counteract it.

"Would you like some water?" Spock asked.

"Yeah...uh...got anything stronger?"

"I do not." Spock fetched a glass of water and handed it to him. Their fingers brushed slightly and McCoy jolted as if shocked with an ancient cattle prod. The glass shot out of his hand and landed onto the deck, shattering.

"Oh, Christ. I'm sorry...here, let me." McCoy knelt down to pick up the shards.

"Doctor these are my quarters, you must allow me." Spock knelt down as well, however neither one of them actually cleaned up any mess. They simply stared at one another.

"Jim says we need to deal with the elephant in the room," McCoy blurted out.

Spock glanced around the cabin, there was no Earth pachyderm present, why would--ah and suddenly McCoy was kissing him.

McCoy abruptly pulled away. "You don't want this?"

"I--" Spock was at a loss for words. He did want this. As to why he did not know. All he knew was that he had not been able to cease thoughts of their encounter two weeks ago. Dirty…filthy…illogical thoughts.

"We should do it once more," McCoy said, breathlessly. "Get it out of our system. That way, we know for sure, if it was us wanting it or was it merely them drugging us."

Spock considered this. "Logical."

*

They fucked three times that night just to be certain. The last time was again, in the shower and McCoy gasping: "Uhhhhh" as Spock drilled into him, their hands desperately clinging together.

Spock spilled his seed into Leonard, deeper and deeper each time.

*

TWO DAYS LATER

"I think maybe this time I should fuck you. That way we know. For sure," McCoy informed him upon entering his quarters.

"Perhaps that action might be well advised."

"Indeed," McCoy whispered.

They leaned over and oh so slowly met lips, simultaneously grabbing hands.

*

ONE WEEK LATER

Jim Kirk was happy. Shipboard morale was running smoothly. Whatever talk Spock and McCoy had had, it had been a success. Everything had reverted back to normal. Bones appeared happy and content. Arguments between the Chief Medical Officer and the Chief Science Officer had returned to full gloriousness, each discussion more viciously cutting than the last. Bones countered each of Spock's points with marked glee. Sometimes even conceding the point.

Wait a minute, things weren't normal. Bones appeared too damned happy and content. 'Like a goddamned pig in shit' he would say.

Come to think of it, even Spock had a spring to his step.

Jim smacked his palm to his forehead.
___________

fin, thanks for reading!!