As it turned out, there were a lot of rumors about Captain America by the time that Steve woke up to the 21st century. To be more specific and to the point, there were a lot of rumors about Captain America's sex life and who he may or may not have been intimate with during the war.
Steve knew this primarily because during the Avengers' first week as a team, Tony Stark brought a ten year old journal article titled "Captain America: Was America's WWII Poster Boy For Patriotism Queer?" into the mansion's kitchen and dropped it next to Steve's omelet.
What Stark had asked wasn't proper to repeat in any lady's company, and the questions that Clint had asked ... well, those weren't proper to repeat in anyone's company.
Steve hadn't given them the dignity of an answer, of course. But apparently they'd gotten answer enough, because the male Avengers declared open season on trying to get into Steve's bed from that moment on.
"I do not understand you, Captain," Thor said, at another such breakfast, one week later. Thor's tower of pancakes put Steve's omelet to shame and Steve couldn't help but remember all the times he and Bucky had gone hungry.
"I'm not that complicated, Thor. Still just a kid from Brooklyn."
"Did they not have sex in this Brooklyn of yours?"
Steve could feel himself starting to flush. "Yes... of course they did."
Thor tilted his head curiously. "Did they only engage in intercourse with unattractive mates? "
"What? No, of course not. I mean, I – I wouldn't know a lot about that, but - "
Thor interrupted him with a heavy clasp on the shoulder. "Then our friend Black Widow is correct, and you still are in possession of your virginity!" Thor boomed loudly, and Thor's version of loud could be heard in Brooklyn, Steve was sure.
"That's not ... ah, really something we discussed in my time, Thor."
"You are ashamed of your virginity, Captain? If that is true, why do you not cure yourself of the affliction? There are multitudes who would be willing to have intercourse with you. Many of your own teammates would gladly volunteer, and it has been my experience that no better lovers can be found than those who would follow you into battle."
"It's not that easy, Thor," Steve managed to say, though in truth, he wanted nothing more than to run far away from this conversation.
It was lucky that neither Bucky nor Peggy were around to hear this exchange. Steve would never hear the end of it, if they had been.
"You have willing partners and a body fit for the task!" Thor proclaimed. "What else do you need?"
"A partner I can't hurt?" Steve answered, before he thought better of it.
And that was how Steve found himself being carried over Thor's shoulder on route to Thor's bedchamber.
"Thor, put me down," Steve said firmly. Reasonably. Though he was beginning to believe that "reasonably" rarely worked with his teammates. And by rarely, Steve actually meant to say ever, but a good leader always strove for diplomacy.
"You have a problem, Steven Rogers. You are a virgin and you are embarrassed by this state. As any man of your age and health would be." Thor paused to wave hello to Pepper Potts, and Steve contemplated whether kicking an god in the face would do any good. Especially once he saw Pepper's expression as they continued down the hall. "I am handsome. My body is more than fit to withstand what you can deliver. Who better to solve your problem?"
"This is really not how they negotiated things in my day, Thor."
"Perhaps not." Steve sighed as Thor swung open the door to his bedchamber and carefully swung it back. "But many years have passed since your time. Human innovation in all things should be embraced, including in the areas of sex, which your people have spent much time and energy on improving."
And with that, Thor removed his pants.
Steve could have left then. Maybe he should have. This was really not the way he'd ever imagined this happening.
But two tiny voices in the back of his mind urged him to stay. One was Peggy's, whispering softly, "My, he's very ... tall, isn't he, Captain?"
The other voice belonged to Bucky, who said simply, "You're an idiot if you turn that down."
As was usually the case, Steve couldn't argue with either of them.
"You will find lubrication in the first drawer on the left," Thor said cheerfully as he laid down on the bed. "I do not require it, of course, as I m a god. But your people usually do."
Steve opened the drawer and removed the lubricant and considered the condoms.
"I do not feel the condoms are necessary, Captain. Loki is not here, and your chances of impregnating me have dramatically decreased," Thor said, equally cheerfully.
That really wasn't a line of thought that you even attempted to question if you were a sane man, so Steve instead concentrated on removing his pants.
"Ah, Steven. I feel great pity for all the ladies and men you have not shared a bed with," Thor said, as Steve awkwardly folded his pants and placed them on a chair that looked like it cost five times the price of the orphanage he and Bucky had grown up in together. "Your girth is one to be celebrated and shared with many men and women!"
"Ah... uh, thanks, Thor." That was a compliment, wasn't it?
Steve decided not to dwell too long on that consideration before he moved onto the lube.
He might have been a virgin, but he had heard stories from Bucky – many, many stories – and he knew that the product in his hand was a vast improvement over gun oil. So he covered himself gratefully, if awkwardly.
"Do you need help finding the entrance, Steven Rogers?"
"Ah, no, Thor. I think I got it."
"There is no shame in admitting that you do not know what you are doing. You are a virgin and I am not. I can use my exploits to help you and I would be happy to do so."
Well, Steve could have let him continue, but the tiny Bucky on Steve's shoulder was greatly offended, and really, there was only one way to shut him up – to shut either of them up.
And so, Steve took Thor's legs, pushed them open gently ("You do not need to be gentle with me, Captain!") and thrust himself inside of his teammate.
Thor let out a deep, contented groan – the kind that was definitely echoed somewhere in Steve's groin. In fact, that first thrust felt so good that Steve could have been tempted just to stay there, with himself buried inside of Thor, appreciating both the spectacular view (so very far away from Brooklyn now) and the even more spectacular feel of being buried within those muscles.
But then Thor moved.
The Commandos had once told Steve that sex was a lot like battle, in that a lot of your movements were just automatic responses to what the other person was doing, and that you rarely took time to actually think about what you were doing before you did it.
At the time, Steve had thought that sounded silly. At the present, Steve believed he owed them all an apology for doubting their advice.
As it turned out, Steve was finding that advice very apt, because the minute Thor moved, Steve found himself automatically digging his fingers into the wide muscles of Thor's legs. More importantly, his desire to continue the warmth spreading over his groin caused by Thor's movement made Steve begin to thrust down in response.
"Your girth continues to be impressive, Captain! But you will have to be much more forceful in order for either of us to fully appreciate the size of your manhood!" Thor proclaimed - no, shouted would be a better word, and Steve really, really hoped that everyone had left the mansion.
But the man beneath him was a god, Steve reminded himself, just like all those fantasy stories he'd loved so much as a kid. Except this one was real, as real as the special serum that had made Steve who he was. Surely an actual god could take anything that the serum had done to Steve's body.
As Steve began to increase his thrusts, Thor let out a much more enthusiastic moan. "That is a much better usage of your girth, Captain," he boomed and Steve used his embarrassment as incentive to continue to increase the forcefulness of his thrusts.
"You have many years of built up tension," Thor announced, in a fashion that would have seemed out of the blue, had it not come from a man who had carried Steve out of the kitchen with the intent to deflower him and therefore ruined any applicable use of the phrase "out of the blue."
"You could say that," Steve agreed, quietly. His thrusts increased again, and Steve wondered if he would have been spent by now, had he still been a normal man. Like Tony or Clint or Buc-
"You may think of another, if you need to," Thor suggested, and his voice was gentle enough when he did so that it interrupted Steve's rhythm. The thought must have been important to Thor, because he did not continue to squirm as impatiently on the other end of Steve as he had before.
"I could," Steve agreed. "But if all I wanted to do was close my eyes and think of someone else ... well, my hands got me through many years of tension, Thor."
"In that case, Captain, might I suggest you apply those hands a bit more liberally to the parts of me which you have so far neglected?"
"Of course, Thor." Steve shifted slightly, leaning forward so that his hands could trace the incredible outline of muscles that performed feats that no serum could ever grant Steve.
His fingers itched as they drew over those muscles, itching to draw, itching to touch more.
He was so drawn into what his hands were doing that he was caught somewhat off guard as Thor reached for him and pulled him close. A mouth-crushing kiss that left Steve's lips numb resulted.
It was an oddly pleasurable way to be kissed, Steve thought, and he shifted his weight again so that he could lean down and kiss Thor with equal fervor. As he did so, Thor's cock brushed up against Steve's stomach and Steve was rewarded with an entirely delightful shudder from the god beneath him.
Steve grinned widely into that next kiss.
"Happy, Captain?" Thor asked between kisses.
It felt strange to talk with numb lips, but Steve nodded his head. "Very."
"With our combined stamina, I suspect we can continue to be happy for a good long time yet."
Truthfulness with your teammates was always important, in Steve's view, even when you were having sex with them. Maybe especially then, actually.
"That, Thor, sounds like a wonderful idea."
"Then I suggest you not hold back, Captain."
For the first time, Steve had absolutely no intention of doing so.