The Inspector Bowls
The DARSIT plummeted through space and time, spinning wildly under the control of the Blogons. The Inspector called across the DARSIT to his associate, Angie Lake, to help him try to regain control of it.
“ANGIE! PULL THE FIZZGIG DINGLE!”
“Inspector! You’re smooshed up against me. You don’t have to yell! And I can’t pull the fizzgig dingle because you’ve got my arm wedged up against the DARSIT wall and I can’t feel my hand anymore!”
“Well, this is no good. James! Can you reach the fizzgig dingle? You have to reach it! Do you know who I am? I’m the Inspector! The upcoming thunder! James? Can you hear me?”
Captain James Haggard, whose crotch was pressed up against the backside of The Sergeant was having a massive gay freak out because he had a massive boner and The Inspector knew he would be no good to pull the fizzgig dingle.
The Inspector elbowed Angie in the face as he reached into his pocket for his Sonic Crowbar.
He pulled it out with a triumphant, “¡Arriba!” and shot a sonic beam across to the fizzgig dingle.
“Rory! Can you reach the plop-plop fibble toot? Rory? Rory?”
But Rory was dead, having been hit by a stray sonic crowbar beam.
No one could untangle their limbs long enough to reach the plop-plop fibble toot and the Blogons captured the DARSIT and almost eradicated them all until Rory magically came back to life and killed the Blogons with love and saved the DARSIT’s crew’s asses and James finally got the courage to admit he was gay and kiss Gwaednerth Smith and the Inspector put on a new trench coat and made everyone wonder if he was the real Inspector, ensuring another three seasons of mindfuckery and publicity, and then he fired all his associates from the DARSIT and picked Greg Dolans and baby Goremageddon to be his new associates and they all lived happily ever after until the Digifleet’s owners reminded him of his contractual obligations to fight them once a season.