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What's It Gonna Take

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“So, what it’s gonna take to get you to actually sign up for classes?” Finn asks Puck, who’s slouched on the sofa, messing with something on his laptop.

“Hmmm?” Puck looks up, raising his eyebrows. “Is it registration time for you?”

“You can register any time, you know,” Finn says.

“But why should I? What’s it going to give me that I don’t already have?” Puck asks.

“Uh, a college degree, for starters,” Finn says. “Anyway, you need something to do all day besides working on your screenplay and bothering Jake.”

“I bother you, too,” Puck says, grinning at Finn.

“Yeah, but you’ve been doing that since first grade, so I’m kind of used to it now.”

Puck shrugs. “But aside from the degree, why should I?”

“Learning stuff is cool?” Finn offers.

“Try something bigger,” Puck says, pointing both index fingers at Finn for a second and shaking his head.

“Eventually they’ll figure out you don’t actually go here and they’ll kick you out of the dorm,” Finn says. “Or try to stick a new roommate in here.”

Puck makes a face. “We’d run him out within a few days.”

“Still,” Finn says. He sits down on the sofa next to Puck.

“Might not take that long, even,” Puck says, a little too casually, and as soon as Finn sits down, he shuts his laptop and puts it on the table beside the lamp.

“What’s it gonna take, then?” Finn asks.

“What’re you offering?”

“I’ll buy your lunch,” Finn says. “I’ll buy it all week, even.”

“A week? Hours of homework, and just seven lunches?” Puck shakes his head. “No deal.”

“Breakfast, too.”

“That’s only fourteen meals, dude,” Puck says, still shaking his head.

“All month, then,” Finn says. “I’m just thinking about your future, dude. Don’t you want a future?”

“I’m working on my screenplay. And it’d be my luck I’d have to take some kind of geography course again,” Puck says.

“Which I’d help you with again. C’mon, you know I’d help you study for any of your classes,” Finn says.

“Yeah, I know, I know,” Puck says, shrugging a little. “But some food and some study help? I know you’ve got something better to sweeten the pot with.”

Finn sighs and props his feet up on his laundry bag, which is kind of overflowing at this point. “I could, uh.” He looks down at his feet. “Do your laundry! I’ll take over your laundry for the whole month if you’ll actually enroll.”

“We both suck at doing laundry. It wouldn’t get cleaner any faster.”

“Yeah, but I could suck at it for you,” Finn says, wincing a little when he realizes what that sounds like out loud. “Less work for you, at least, right?”

Puck starts laughing and gestures towards his crotch. “Yeah, you could suck at it!”

“Dude!” Finn says, shaking his head. “Seriously?”

“Hey, you offered,” Puck says, still laughing.

“I offered laundry,” Finn says, though he starts laughing too, still shaking his head at Puck.

“Now there is a thing that would make me register,” Puck says.

“Oh, so you won’t take classes for, like, jobs and a future and stuff, but you’ll do it for blowjobs?” Finn asks.

“Clearly you’ve not had any really good blowjobs,” Puck says with a shrug. “Otherwise you’d understand.”

“I’m not saying blowjobs aren’t awesome. I’m just saying I’m not sure that’s really the deal you’re looking for here, is all.”

“Oh, I get it.” Puck nods his head, looking exaggeratedly sad. “You’re bad at blowjobs.”

“Well, yeah, probably, since I haven’t ever— that’s not my point!” Finn says.

Puck laughs. “Uh-huh, I bet you are! Are you bad at handjobs, too? Making out?”

“Oh my god, Puck, that’s not what I’m even talking about right now!” Finn says, standing up. “I’m just talking about college!”

“And you asked what it would take me to register. I answered.” Puck keeps grinning and shrugs.

“Dude,” Finn says.

Puck sighs. “Clearly you aren’t really committed to my future prospects.”

“Oh my god, I am not giving you a blowjob to make you go to school!”

“Okay, so we’ve established your limit there.” Puck leans back against the arm of the sofa and looks at Finn. “Oh, hey, you left handjobs on the table, though.”

Finn huffs and walks over to his bed, sitting down there. “Yeah, that was definitely the one detail to get out of this whole conversation, dude.”

“This way I’ll forget to tell anyone else you’re bad at blowjobs,” Puck says. “Win-win.”

“I’m not giving you a handjob, either.”

Puck actually looks disappointed for a second, then shrugs. “At least not to make me go to class, anyway,” he says, almost smirking. “So now we’re down to making out.”

“Seriously. If I make out with you, you’d sign up for classes?” Finn asks.

“Well, not for just once, that could be a real rip-off!”

“How do you know?” Finn says. “Maybe I’m the best at making out!”

“Which would be another reason it’d be a rip-off. All that homework for just once?”

“Well, how many times does it take to not be a rip-off, then?”

Puck looks like he’s actually thinking about that question, not just pretending to think about it, and then he looks back at Finn. “Once a week?”

“For how many weeks?” Finn asks.

“Uh, when I register and then during the semester?”

“Wait, for the whole semester?” Finn asks. “For real?”

“Okay, okay, if you start seriously dating someone, you can get out of it,” Puck says, acting like he’s doing Finn a favor.

“Oh, gee, thanks,” Finn says. He sighs and shakes his head. “Okay.”

“C’mere, loverboy,” Puck says, smirking at Finn.

“You’d better make some damn good grades,” Finn says, standing up and walking back to the sofa, where he sits.

“Yeah? You’d make out with me longer if I got an A?”

“Or not at all if you make a C or lower,” Finn says. “You’re smart enough to talk me into this, so that means you’re smart enough to get Bs.”

Puck snorts, but doesn’t argue with Finn, and he starts to lean in. Finn closes his eyes and leans towards Puck, too. Before anything else happens, Puck’s hand lands on Finn’s shoulder, stopping him.

“Okay, one thing before this,” Puck says, sounding sheepish.

Finn opens his eyes. “What?” he asks.

“I… already am registered,” Puck says. “And I am in classes.”

“What?” Finn repeats, a little more sharply this time.

“I didn't say anything in case I flunked,” Puck says. “It was pretty easy to schedule all my classes at the same time as yours, but in different buildings.”

“Dude! You tried to get me to blow you!”

“I would have told you before you blew me!” Puck protests. “Just like I did just now.”

“You still tried!” Finn says.

“Would it really have been that bad?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have actually done it!”

“Hey!” Puck looks offended. “Are you going to try to get out of making out with me now?”

“But I don’t have to make out with you!” Finn says. “The whole point was to get you to enroll, but you already did!”

Puck pouts as he half-heartedly glares at Finn. “So you are trying to get out of it!” Puck slides down the back of the sofa slightly, clearly sulking.

Finn frowns. “Now I’m just confused.”

“If you were willing to before, you should be willing to now,” Puck says. “And anyway, you were right.”

“Huh? What was I right about?”

“The grades thing,” Puck says, looking more sheepish about that than he did about being enrolled in classes.

“Wha—oh, that you need help to study?” Finn asks.

“Hey, I’m not taking geography. Or anything involving maps,” Puck says, pouting again.

“But you still want me to make out with you?” Finn asks, not feeling any less confused.

“Not if you’re totally horrified by the idea, but obviously you weren’t,” Puck says. “I mean, you didn’t think of it as quickly as you did buying lunch, but still, you were willing.”

“Don’t you think it would be a little weird?”

“Weird how?” Puck asks.

Finn shrugs. “Like, weird. Making out with me.”

“No, like weird ’cause we’ve been friends for so long weird, or weird ’cause you don’t like just making out with random people weird, or what?”

“Both, a little,” Finn says. “Also the, you know. Dude aspect.”

“Done that,” Puck says, waving his hand dismissively. “And maybe a little on the first one. Maybe. Maybe not. Could make it better.”

“So, the random people thing? Not weird?”

Puck doesn’t answer for a few seconds, not quite looking at Finn. “Guess it depends on how random it is,” he says eventually.

“I guess… I guess I could try it, if you could,” Finn says. He looks down at his hands instead of at Puck.

“Yeah. I could,” Puck says, then nudges at Finn’s hands with the back of one of his. Finn looks up at Puck, managing a little smile.

“Not so sure this is the best idea in the world,” Finn says. “But I guess I’m game if you are.”

“It’s definitely not the worst,” Puck says, and he leans toward Finn again, his eyes closing. Finn closes his eyes, too, leaning towards Puck and feeling their lips touch in a light, dry kiss. After a few seconds pass, Puck’s right hand slides into Finn’s hair and around to the back of Finn’s head, almost cradling it as Puck starts to part his lips.

Finn can feel Puck’s breath warm against his face as he leans into the kiss with a little more pressure. Puck’s chin is a little rough with stubble, and it scrapes a little against Finn’s face, but it’s not bad, just different. Puck’s mouth opens wider, and Puck’s tongue pokes at Finn’s lips. Finn actually laughs a little as he parts his lips, and Puck slides his tongue into Finn’s mouth, putting a lot more pressure on Finn’s lips at the same time.

Finn reaches out, feeling for Puck’s hand. When he finally grabs it, he squeezes it, kissing Puck back harder. Puck weaves their fingers together before squeezing back, and as they kiss, Puck leans back against the sofa, pulling Finn with him. Finn startles a little, but he recovers fast enough to prop himself up with one arm so he doesn’t crush Puck to death or anything while they kiss.

Puck doesn’t seem to think about that, pulling at that arm with the hand that was on the back of Finn’s neck. He keeps kissing Finn just as hard, and Finn tries to keep Puck from pulling him down, but Puck’s got more leverage, plus the kissing’s pretty distracting, so finally he just lets all his weight drop.

Puck grunts a little into the kiss, but doesn’t pause. His hand goes back on Finn’s head, and after a moment, one foot starts moving up and down Finn’s calf. Finn realizes Puck’s dick is pressed against him, and it’s hard, and he makes a surprised noise, but he doesn’t try to move away.

As they keep kissing, Puck starts to move a little, first from side to side a few times before he’s actually moving up and down, pushing up against Finn before relaxing against the sofa again. If Puck being hard was surprising, it’s even more surprising when Finn realizes he is hard, too, pressing himself down against Puck without meaning to. Puck seems to like that, squeaking a little as they kiss harder and pushing against Finn another time.

They keep at it like that for probably another ten minutes, before Finn pulls away and stares down at Puck. “What?” Puck asks. “What is it?”

“Just so you know, if you don’t pass this semester, I’m taking this back,” Finn says.

“And if I do pass?”

“I guess I’ll have to think of something.”

Puck grins. “Maybe I can get a little more out of you?”

Finn grins back and shakes his head. “Yeah, let’s just see how the semester goes first.”