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You've Got Time

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You’ve Got Time

Taking steps is easy/standing still is hard

Regina Spektor, “You’ve Got Time”

 

As they pulled into the drive at Leena’s B&B, Helena felt her hand squeezed by Myka, who had taken possession of it the moment they folded themselves into the back seat of Artie’s car after the almost anticlimactic defeat of Walter Sykes.  Almost.  Really, it was uncanny how Artie knew not only where Sykes’ bomb was, but also how to defuse it.  Helena would have to give that some more thought and investigation once she had recovered from the roller coaster that had been the past few hours.

Sykes’ dying after the use of Gandhi’s dhoti certainly tied up that potential loose end.  Helena felt some measure of sympathy for the man, knowing what it was like to be driven to rectify a terrible wrong.  And to then want to rectify one’s attempt at that rectification, though poor Mr. Sykes never got a chance to implement the change in himself he may have desired after the use of the peace-initiating artifact.  Helena really had been willing to terminate her own existence that afternoon, if it would have prevented Myka and the others from being harmed.

Ah, Myka.  How amazing it was to see her in the flesh again, to be able to touch her and not have her hand go right through.  It was all worth it, just for that – for those few moments.  And now it seemed there would be more than just those moments.  Artie’s demeanor towards her had changed drastically for the better, though it remained to be seen if this was simply his reaction to the recent drama they had survived.  Perhaps she would be able to resume her life as a Warehouse agent – Wells and Bering – no, Bering and Wells – solving puzzles and saving the day.

From the way Myka was clinging to her hand and from their multiple almost-kisses throughout the day, it seemed they might finally have an opportunity to explore what they had put off for so long.  Perhaps soon they would talk about the feelings they had been avoiding discussing for what really was years now.

Helena found out just how soon that exploration might occur when she found herself pulled through the B&B and up the stairs without so much as a “hello” to Claudia, Leena, and Mrs. Frederick.  Myka had only let go of her hand to exit the vehicle and then grabbed it again to assist Helena in standing up as well.  She looked into Helena’s eyes for just a moment and then rushed towards the B&B, dragging a surprised Helena behind her.

Now they were in Myka’s room, Myka shutting the door behind them and then – oh my – Myka’s lips were on hers and she was being kissed like there was no tomorrow.  Before Helena could even think about responding, Myka’s arms were around her, one hand in her hair, the other on the small of her back, pulling her in closer even as she was pressed against the door.

Helena managed to mirror Myka’s position, tangling one hand in Myka’s ever-unruly curls and finally kissing her back with as much gusto as she could manage whilst practically being devoured.  Really, it seemed Myka wanted to literally consume her.

Before she could speak, slow things down a bit, she found herself spun around and veritably tossed onto the bed now behind her.  Myka pounced, covering Helena’s body completely with her own and resuming her voracious kisses.  Helena managed to pull her mouth away for a moment, Myka only replacing Helena’s lips with her neck, her cheek – oh yes – her earlobe.  Helena almost forgot why she thought she needed her mouth free in the first place.

Right.  “Myka, darling, are you certain about this?  We can talk for a – mmpfh.”

Myka’s mouth covered hers again for a moment, then she pulled back slightly.  “No more talking.”

Ever the master multi-tasker, Myka continued occupying Helena’s mouth while working to remove Helena’s shirt.  Once she had completed this task – albeit a bit clumsily – she reared back for the few seconds it took to remove her own shirt, and then she was back.

Succumbing to what seemed inevitable – on so many levels – Helena finally became an active participant, deftly unhooking Myka’s bra and beginning to work on her pants.  She tried to be a little less frantic than Myka, to nonverbally get her to slow the pace.

Myka would have none of it.  Growling in frustration, she stood up and shucked off her pants and underwear in one motion.  Before Helena had a chance to appreciate what she was seeing in the evening light filtering through the curtains, Myka was leaning over her again, undoing her pants and jerkily pulling them off of her.  Helena managed to wiggle out of her underwear and remove her bra before Myka was on her again.

For just one moment, Myka paused.  The sensation of skin-on-skin must have been as overwhelming to her as it was to Helena.  But it was only for a moment – then Myka was descending to explore Helena’s breast with her mouth.  Helena tried to think clearly, but it had been so long and it felt so good.  She allowed the licking, the sucking, the – yes darling – biting to continue until Myka made a move to descend lower.

Helena deftly flipped them over, now settling atop Myka with one leg deliciously between hers.  She didn’t speak – she did know how to follow instructions – but she held Myka’s eyes as she slid her hand between them and began to stroke gently.

Myka soon broke eye contact, looking somewhere beyond Helena’s right shoulder as she thrust frantically against her.  Long minutes went by, but Myka seemed no closer to her goal.  She let out a cry of frustrated anguish.

Helena paused, rolling off of Myka slightly and moving her hand to Myka’s thigh to caress in what she hoped was a soothing manner.

“Darling, relax – take your time.  We have all night to enjoy each other.  And then tomorrow morning, and the day after that –“

Myka let out a sob.  “No” was all Helena could make out.

Was this interlude just a way of dealing with a day that would sorely test the most stable of persons?  Did Myka not share the feelings she thought had been building since the day they met?  Was this a one-time thing Myka already regretted?

Myka finally calmed down enough to speak.  “There’s no time,” she gasped.  “There’s never time.”  Taking a deep breath, she continued, finally looking Helena in the eyes.  “You and I have missed every chance we’ve had to be together, and I can’t risk that the regents won’t be here in minutes to take you away from me again.  There is only now, and I can’t waste a moment.”

Helena pulled Myka to her, settling Myka’s head on her chest and stroking Myka’s hair.  “Oh, darling, I’m so sorry – for us both.  We’ve been through so much, had so much taken from us that we can’t imagine a world in which we get to be happy.”

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  “I can’t promise you time – only that we’ll make the most of what we have.  But, dearest, there’s a difference between relishing what we have and not taking it for granted and living as though this truly is the last moment we’ll have together.  I can’t deny ours is a life of risk, of danger – neither of us can change that.  I’m not sure either of us would.  But we can’t always be looking over our shoulders, fearing what may happen, holding on so tightly to what we have that we destroy it.”

Helena kissed Myka’s forehead.  “Having lived so long in the past, I want to live now for the present.  Not for a hypothetical future that neither of us can control – just this very moment.  But Myka, let’s trust that this moment will extend past nine o’clock tomorrow morning and spend tonight savoring each other, learning things about each other we’ve always wanted to know, luxuriating in the wonder that is the first time.”

She tilted Myka’s head back and kissed her lips gently.  “I, for one, have imagined this so many times, and I want to fully experience the reality.”

Myka gave a shaky smile.  “You’ve imagined it, have you?”

“Oh, and you haven’t?”  Helena’s eyebrow raised.

Myka snuggled closer, trailing her fingers from Helena’s knees to her neck and back down again.  “Of course I have.  Practically from the day we met.”  She sighed.  “I never imagined it would be like this – usually there were candles and I was much more seductive.”

“You’re plenty seductive, darling.  Just breathe, let go.  Let this happen, now, finally.  It’s just you and me and these four walls for as long as you’d like.”

“How about forever?” Myka smiled up at her.

“Well, we’d probably get hungry after a few hours.  At least, you will if I have my way with you.”

Myka gave her a playful smack on the arm.  “That’s not what I meant!”

Helena’s expression became serious.  “I know.  I’m still taking in this wonderful turn of events.  Only yesterday my consciousness was trapped in a coin and my body was teaching high school with a terrible American accent, if Pete is to be believed.  I thought my only chance to be with you was as a holographic image, never able to touch you.  And here you are, in my arms.  Naked, no less.”  She leered playfully at Myka.  “You’re already exceeding my imagination.”

“You imagined me uglier?”  Myka feigned insult.

Helena wanted to kiss away the hurt, even if it was pretend.  She quickly realized she now could.  So she did.

“Mm, I could get used to this,” Myka shared as they pulled apart.

“Please do.  If I’d known all it took for us to finally give in to the sexual tension that’s been building all these years was to prevent a cataclysmic event, I’d have –  ” Helena stopped short, an expression of horror replacing her smirk.

“What?  Tried to end the world yourself?  Been there, done that.”  Myka didn’t seem as put off by Helena’s gaffe as expected.

“Helena, don’t beat yourself up.  About what you just said and what you did at Yellowstone.  I knew you loved me that day.  In your terribly damaged way and despite, I’m sure, your efforts not to, you loved me.  Do I wish you had realized it sooner?  Of course.  But you didn’t end the world.  And if I’d have had the chance, we’d have done this then.  But the regents took you away.  Today was our first opportunity since then and I’ll be damned if I let it go by like I did all those other chances we had when you were an agent.  If I’d have stopped flirting and just acted – ” Myka sighed, “But I thought we had time.”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, Myka.  But for once, I’m going to choose to have hope.  That you and I will get a chance to be happy – together.  And, for the record, I do love you.  I did then, and I do now.  I don’t know what would have happened if you had ‘acted,’ as you say, but it’s possible I would have rebuffed you and this B&B would be underneath a glacier now.  So let’s take full advantage of this second chance.”

“Full advantage, you say?”  Myka waggled her eyebrows endearingly.

“Full advantage,” Helena confirmed with a smile.

Helena leaned over Myka again, bringing their lips together softly.  The kiss deepened, but Helena kept the pace slow.  She cupped Myka’s cheek, then mapped her body with her hand, trying to touch every available inch.  This time Myka reciprocated, her hand tracing patterns from the backs of Helena’s thighs to her shoulder blades.  

This time, as they came together, it was softer and slower, the urgency replaced by exploration.  And when they awoke the next morning, limbs tangled together, both better rested than they could remember, they stayed right there in each others’ arms.