On any other days, Magnus would have been amused by the deer-in-the-headlights look on his boyfriend's face. However, today was not like any other day, so he walked into Alec's bedroom without a laugh; with a frown on his face instead of a smile.
"M-Magnus, hey," Alec greeted his boyfriend. He quickly sat up on his bed, his legs crossed. "Why are you here?"
Magnus had his hands crossed over his chest. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question, Alexander? You said you have archery practice today. Funny thing is, Simon told me practice was cancelled."
Shit, Alec thought. He forgot that Magnus was friends with Simon too. The excuse he gave Magnus when the final class ended was the first thing that came into his mind, before he all but ran out of the classroom. "Sorry?" he said, although it came out more like a question.
Magnus sighed, and climbed onto the bed. "Why are you avoiding me?"
Alec forced out a smile. "Who said I was?"
"We've been together for almost a year, friends for three. I know you, Alexander Lightwood."
Alec slumped back into the bed, and covered his face with a pillow. He groaned before mumbling something that Magnus couldn't make out. So, Magnus removed the pillow from his face, and asked:
"Can you repeat that?"
Alec sighed before he sat up again, this time facing Magnus. "I said that it's stupid." He bit his lip, and looked away from Magnus.
Magnus knew that biting his lip was something Alec did whenever he was nervous. So, he cupped Alec's face, and kissed him on the mouth. "Nothing you say will ever be stupid."
Alec sighed. "I thought avoiding you would make it hurt less." Magnus's eyebrows arched, confused, so Alec continued. "You're going to graduate in a few weeks, and then, you'll be leaving for Parsons at the end of summer."
Magnus snorted, and doubled over, laughing.
"What's so funny?"
"You thought I'm going to break up with you just because I'm going to college soon, didn't you?" Magnus asked, once he sobered up, although a few snickers still escaped his throat.
Alec narrowed his eyes at Magnus. "Are you making fun of me?"
"Of course not, darling," Magnus smiled. Then, he pulled Alec towards him and captured his mouth in a kiss. It was soft and passionate, and filled with love. They parted when they were both out of breath. "I'm sorry if I ever did anything to make you doubt my feelings for you. I hope that convinced you how much I love you."
Alec's eyes glazed over, and he made a sound from deep inside his throat, hands reaching for Magnus. Once again, they were locked in a kiss. This time, it was heated, needy—Alec touched Magnus everywhere he could, down Magnus's back, under his shirt. Magnus had just pinned him to the bed when the door slammed open. It was his sister, looking very smug in his doorway.
He groaned as Magnus rolled off him. "What do you want, Izzy?"
"Mom told me to remind you of the house rule," she said, with a playful glint in her eyes.
Because he had the carrier gene, the house rule, which was enforced on Isabelle, was also enforced on him. Bedroom doors must stay open if a male friend is in the room. As a male born with the carrier gene, he had all the necessary organs to carry a child. He had a fully functioning womb, and he went through a menstruation cycle every month.
Alec growled. "We weren't doing anything." When Isabelle arched one eyebrow at him, he had the decency to blush.
"Of course you weren't." Then, she added, " Mom said you're welcome to stay for dinner if you want to, Magnus." She laughed as she walked away, not bothering to close the door.
"Well, Isabelle has successfully destroy the mood, but we're good now, right?" Magnus asked.
"Yes, we are."
Magnus couldn't resist, and gave Alec a peck on the cheek. Then, he got off the bed, straightened his shirt and fixed his hair, in case he ran into Maryse, Alec's mom. They spent the rest of the day down in the family living room, cuddled on the couch as he and Max, Alec's 8 years old brother, played Mario Cart. He ended up staying for dinner.
Weeks passed, Magnus graduated, and it was finally summer holiday. The two of them spent all their free time together, not wanting to lose any time because soon enough, Magnus would be all the way in New York and he would be stuck in Idris, a town not far from Greenwich, Connecticut and an hour or so train ride away from New York.
After finishing their run at Alicante Park, they decided on having an impromptu picnic breakfast near Lake Lyn. Magnus went to buy their meal from the Taco Bus; a Chicken Chipotle Quesadilla for Alec, and a burrito with "diced steak marinated in Mexican seasonings and grilled to perfection" for himself. Alec, on the other hand, went to buy their drinks—two bottles of mineral water. They ate on a nearby bench and watched as people jogged past them.
"Are you excited about later?" Magnus asked, grinning.
Alec snorted. "You're lucky that my mom trust Tessa, and that she can be quite persuasive. A weekend trip to your beach house in Southampton without adult supervision, seriously? My mom thinks we're going to have sex all day."
"Don't joke about it, darling," Magnus said, kissing the tip of Alec's nose. After a moment, he added, "You know I'll wait until you're ready, right? You know I won't force you."
Alec smiled, cupped Magnus's face with his free hand, running his thumb lightly over his lips before kissing it. "I know." Then, he said, "Now, finish your food. I promised to spend the day with Max before we leave."
They spent another hour at the park before they had to return home. Before Magnus returned to his own house (mansion), they kissed on Alec's porch until both were out of breath. They only pulled away from one another when Jace opened the front door and gave them a sly look.
The party was in full swing by the time Magnus's friends, Ragnor and Raphael joined them. Alec watched all of them, with a cold drink in his hand, from his seat on the steps of the deck, his barefoot feet in the sand. Will and Jace were in charge of the grill, so Ragnor and Raphael made a beeline towards the Herondale cousins for food. Jem was helping Tessa bringing out the desserts from the kitchen. Simon volunteered to be their DJ that night, and Magnus, Clary and Isabelle were dancing to the beat around the bonfire, laughing. It kind of reminded him of that jungle dance scene from the old movie, George of the Jungle.
He just watched his friends and siblings, amused. He didn't realize when the songs changed, and Magnus was standing in front of him.
"Come on, you party pooper," the 18 year-old teen said. "It's our song. Let's dance."
It took Alec a moment for him to realize that the song that was currently playing was "Say A Little Prayer". Not the original version, but the soundtrack from the Julia Roberts movie, "My Best Friend's Wedding". Simon has stopped playing DJ and put on the CD mix Isabelle made instead. He smiled brightly at Magnus before he took the hand Magnus offered him. His boyfriend led him to the "dance floor", and he saw Clary and Isabelle were dancing with their respective boyfriend, and Tessa with Jem.
Alec was still smiling when Magnus placed his hands around him, and pulled him close. He leaned in for a kiss, wrapping his own hands around Magnus's neck. They were not swaying to the beat, but he didn't care. He closed his eyes, savouring the feel of Magnus's soft lips against his jugular.
"I miss you."
Alec couldn't help but laugh. "Silly Magnus," he said.
"It's my going away party, but you just sat on the sidelines, instead of dancing with me."
"Oh? And what is it that we're doing now?" Alec asked, pulling away from Magnus's chest to give his boyfriend a raised eyebrow.
"Where'd you get all the sass, darling?"
Alec chuckled before he captured Magnus's mouth with his own, and pressed his body against Magnus's. He parted his lips, letting Magnus know what he wanted. It wasn't long before Magnus's tongue entered his mouth, exploring everywhere. He could feel Magnus's hand slipping under his shirt when they heard someone clearing their throat. It was Tessa. He groaned, burying his face against Magnus's chest. He could feel his face heating up.
Magnus looked at her. Tessa and Jem both had an amused look on their face. "Yes?" he asked them.
"It was starting to become higher than PG here, so I had to intervene. Sorry." But the amused look on her face said otherwise. "Besides, I've promised Mrs. Lightwood to keep both of you under control. What you two do behind closed doors, on the other hand, is a different matter entirely."
"Oh god," Alec groaned once more, voice muffled because of Magnus's shirt.
The song had changed once again to an unfamiliar song, but Tessa seemed to recognize it. Tessa looked at him, and asked, "May I cut in?" Alec knew she wanted to dance with Magnus. They were best friends after all.
"Go ahead," Alec said.
Magnus gave Alec a peck on the cheek, before dancing away with Tessa. Now, he was standing there with Jem. Awkwardly. The older brunette rubbed at his neck, and the grinned at Alec.
"Well then," Jem said. "Shall we dance?"
Alec had to blink and took a moment to process Jem's words before taking the hand Jem, two years his senior, offered him.
"How are you holding up?"
"With Magnus moving to NYC."
"Hanging in there, I guess," Alec shrugged awkwardly. Jem was more of Magnus's friend, so he wasn't that comfortable having a personal conversation with the brunette.
"That's good. It's going to be hard. I should know. I've been there."
Alec nodded, because what else was he going to say. He knew Jem knew how it felt. Tessa was year younger than both Jem and Will, so they had to leave her behind that year when they started college.
"You might feel like you're being left behind, that perhaps Magnus has met someone better than you there, but you have to remember that Magnus loves you with all his heart, so you have nothing to worry about."
"I—" Alec was flustered.
Jem chuckled as he suddenly spun Alec around. "I'm sorry for that awkward talk. Tessa put me up to it."
The song ended, and Magnus returned to them. Jem clapped Alec on the shoulder before he and Tessa walked towards Will, asking him to dance with them. It was a slow dance now, so Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's waist, and pulled him close like earlier.
"I think Jem just gave me a pep talk."
Magnus chuckled. "Tessa did the same to me."
They danced until the final track ended, sometimes swapping partners with the others, before settling down around the bonfire. They sat there, eating roasted marshmallows and s'mores while exchanging stories. They even played Charade and Truth or Dare. Isabelle insisted. It was almost midnight by the time they packed everything up and walked back into the beach house.
Alec was sitting on his bed, mustering his courage, when Jace finally finished his shower. When the younger teen noticed him, Jace asked, "Why are you still here?"
"I- I sleep here," Alec stuttered, startled. Did Jace know?
Jace rolled his eyes. "We all know you're going to sneak out to Magnus's room later." Before Alec could open his mouth to protest, he continued, "You're wasting precious time, Alec. Just go. I won't tell mom and dad."
Alec gaped at his brother for a while before shaking his head. "Thanks," he mumbled as he stood up.
"No problem," Jace grinned. "Oh, wait! I have something for you." He went to his luggage, and pulled a box out. It was condoms. Alec's eyes widened, and a blush crept up his face when he saw what it was. "Be safe," Jace told his brother, placing the box in Alec's hand before pushing Alec out the door.
Alec spent a few minutes outside the bedroom assigned to him and Jace, blushing, as he replayed Jace's words in his head. Of course they would know. His siblings and friends weren't idiots. Tessa might have just been joking with them earlier on the beach, but he knew Isabelle and Jace, and probably even Clary—from the mischievous grin the redhead gave him—knew what he planned to do.
"Well, this is a lovely surprise," Magnus said when opened the door to his bedroom and saw his late night visitor. He grinned. "What's that you have in your hands?"
Alec blushed, but gave Magnus a playful smile. "Your farewell gift from Jace."
Magnus snorted. "And what does he expect me do with a box of condoms?"
"Well, isn't it obvious? Me. Do me, that is."
Alec rolled his eyes, knowing what Magnus was about to say. That was one of the reasons he loves Magnus. His boyfriend always made sure that he was comfortable. So, not giving his boyfriend the chance to finish his sentence, Alec grabbed Magnus by his robe, and smashed their mouth together.
It was hot, was what went through Alec's mind. When Magnus started to respond to the kiss, he shoved his tongue into Alec's mouth. Alec moaned as their tongue battled for dominance, and he could feel the heat pooling down to his groin. When the pulled away for air, Magnus, panting, said, "We should continue in my room."
Alec nodded in agreement, and immediately, Magnus pulled him into the bedroom, slamming the door behind them. Magnus pinned him to the nearest flat surface, which was the wall. His boyfriend kissed him, rough, and he moaned, inviting Magnus's tongue in by parting his lips. He liked it when Magnus used his tongue. Magnus was a great kisser. He dropped the box of condoms, but luckily it was still unopened. He felt Magnus's body pressed against his, Magnus rolling his hips, and rubbing against him. He moaned and whimpered, jerked his hips towards Magnus for more friction. Magnus's hands slipped under his shirt, roaming his chest, playing with his nipples. He was already half-hard.
"Magnus, please," he whimpered.
Magnus bit Alec's bottom lip, before he dropped to his knees and pulled down Alec's sweat pants and boxers. "You're as beautiful as always, darling," he said, touching the tip of Alec's dick. It was already leaking pre-cum.
"Why don't you do something more useful with your mouth?" Alec growled.
Magnus chuckled before he swallowed Alec whole. He couldn't stop the grin that appeared on his face hearing Alec's moans and whimpers. The sound of Alec's voice sent blood rushing to his groin. He was fully hard now.
It didn't take long before Alec tensed and came, shooting his loads in Magnus's mouth. Magnus had his hands wrapped around him, holding him through shudders and convulsion. Then, Magnus stood up to his full height, and pulled him in an embrace. Once he calmed down, he looked up at Magnus and said, "Magnus, I want us to go all the way." His eyes were still dilated. "Please, I want to feel you in me."
Magnus groaned, dropping his head on Alec's shoulder. "Darling, you can't say those things to me." He could feel his cock twitching. "You don't know what your words do to me."
"Please, Magnus," Alec said, his voice low and he rolled his hips against Magnus's.
Without replying, Magnus picked Alec up in his arms, took the dropped box of condoms from the floor, and brought Alec to his bed. He laid Alec down on his back, and helped remove Alec's shoes, and clothing's. Then, he leaned down to kiss Alec. He was confused when Alec pushed him away when he started kissing Alec's jawline.
"You're still wearing too much clothing."
Magnus laughed before removing his robe and boxers. Then, he continued his ministration on Alec's jaw, while his hands started playing with Alec's nipples. He trailed kisses down to Alec's neck, nibbling on it, biting it—marking Alec, while pinching and twisting the reddened buds with his fingers until it hardened. When he trailed kisses down to Alec's chest, he replaced his fingers with his tongue on one of Alec's nipples. His free hand, on the other hand, moved down to Alec's cock. It was already hard once more.
Alec whimpered when Magnus gave his attention to his other nipple, circling the hardened nub with his tongue. He whimpered, "Please Magnus. Enough foreplay. I want to feel you inside me."
Magnus straightened up, and shook his head. "No, you deserve the best, darling. And because it's your first time, I am going to make sure you feel thoroughly loved." He dived down again, and trailed kisses down Alec's torso. His tongue dipped into Alec's belly button before he reached Alec's cock. He licked along Alec's full length, swirling his tongue at the head, causing Alec's cock to twitch. Alec was squirming beneath him, moaning and whimpering every so often, his breathing hard.
Magnus moved aside, allowing Alec to roll over and get on his knees. Using his tongue, Magnus played with Alec's balls, before he licked from Alec's balls to the top of Alec's crack. The sound that came out of Alec's mouth encouraged him to continue. He circled Alec's rim with his tongue—over and over again—until it was loose enough for him to breach.
Alec had never felt the pleasure he felt when Magnus's tongue thrust inside him before. Sure, they had their make-out sessions, and gave each other blowjobs and handjobs, but it had never felt as pleasurable as this. He writhed and moaned, hands clutching the sheets tight as his leaking cocked bobbed in the air. He whimpered when he couldn't feel Magnus's tongue inside him anymore. He could feel Magnus reaching over towards the nightstand, and knew Magnus was grabbing the lube and a packet of condom. His cock jerked in anticipation, and he whimpered.
Alec didn't have to wait long before he felt a slick finger inside him; Magnus's finger. He heard Magnus moaned behind him.
"Fuck, you're so tight, darling."
Alec's toes curled, his breathing erratic as Magnus pumped the finger inside him, over and over again. The intrusion didn't hurt, but it felt uncomfortable. By the time Magnus added a second finger, he felt the burn as his muscles stretched. Magnus thrust his fingers in until the second knuckle, curled his fingers, and made scissoring motion to stretch him more. He felt his breath hitched when Magnus's fingers the bundle of nerves that shoots sparks of pleasure inside him. Magnus added a third finger, and kept hitting his prostate, making him see stars. He rocked back onto Magnus's fingers to make it go deeper. The pillow he was using to support his head muffled the lewd noises he made.
Alec whimpered when Magnus pulled out his fingers. "Please, please, please, Magnus. I want you inside me." His voice was laced with need.
"Patience, darling," Magnus said.
Alec heard the sound of something ripped, and he knew it was the condom. Seconds later, after Magnus put on the latex around his hard member, and slicked it with lube, Magnus nudged his legs open and positioned himself between Alec's legs. He could feel Magnus's cock brushing against his thigh.
"Shh, darling," Magnus whispered, kissing Alec's shoulder blade. "It won't be long now." He braced Alec with one hand, and positioned his cock with the other.
Alec inhaled sharply when he felt the head of Magnus's cock breached his hole. He whimpered at the uncomfortable intrusion, his knuckles white from clenching the bed sheet, as Magnus slide into him slowly. Magnus continued to kiss his shoulder blades, and across his shoulder, whispering soothing words. They both stilled, and he gasped, trying to get use to the intrusion when Magnus was finally buried to the hilt inside him. He felt like his ass was being split open by Magnus's cock. They both moaned when he unintentionally clenched against Magnus.
"Oh God, you're huge," Alec gasped. He tried to spread his knees, trying to ease the pressure. He moaned when he started clenching against Magnus again.
"Are you okay?" Magnus asked, worried. "Should we stop?"
"Hell no!" Alec cried. "I've waited so long for this." He took a deep breath, and exhaled through his nose. "You can start moving now. Please. I don't think I can last any longer. I want us to come together."
Magnus didn't need more convincing before he started moving again, slowly at first. He pulled out and pushed back in until he was in balls deep. He opened Alec up with each thrust. Alec made desperate noises at the torturous pace, and moaned when he hit Alec's pleasure spot. When he could finally slide in smoothly without resistance, he draped himself on Alec's body.
Alec rose up on his arms so that his back was pressed to Magnus's chest. "Magnus, faster," he whimpered, and Magnus picked up his pace. He moved back onto Magnus as he thrust in, biting the pillow to muffle his voice. He was thankful that everyone else chose bedrooms at the opposite wing of the house.
Alec moaned like he was in heat calling Magnus's name as Magnus wrapped one hand around his throbbing cock, and thrust in harder and deeper. The short jabs were aimed at his prostate when Magnus felt him tensed. Magnus bit down at his jugular, leaving a mark, as he exploded, screaming out Magnus's name. Magnus followed him into orgasm seconds later, pulling out of him in the process.
There were spots in Alec's eyes as he came down, trembling, throat rough for screaming. He would have fallen if Magnus weren't holding him. They stayed that way for a moment to catch their breath.
Magnus manoeuvred them away from the wet spot before he went to the bathroom. Alec could hear the sound of the shower. He returned a moment later, clean, the condom taken care of, and a wet washcloth in one hand. When he started cleaning Alec, he chuckled at the blush on Alec's face. When he was done, he tossed the cloth to a corner, and removed the soiled comforter from under them. It then joined the dirty cloth.
Alec snuggled into Magnus's chest when the latter wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He placed a kiss on Magnus's chest before he looked up at his boyfriend. "That was amazing."
Magnus chuckled, and pressed a kiss on Alec's forehead. "You were amazing."
Alec pressed his head against Magnus's chest. He could hear the other teen's heartbeat. "No, you were the one who's amazing," he whispered. "I love you."
Magnus laughed quietly when he realized that Alec had fallen asleep. He hugged Alec close, spooning his younger boyfriend. "I love you too, darling."
Seven months has passed since Magnus moved to New York City. True to his promise to Alec, he visited every chance he could, which meant most weekends and school holidays. He even spent Christmas day with Alec and his family. Not that it matters much because his mom lived in Amsterdam after the divorce, and his father was away on business, as usual.
"Alec," Isabelle said, surprised to see her brother in the kitchen early that morning. "I thought Magnus couldn't come for a visit this weekend. Why are you up so early?"
"Just felt like it."
Isabelle arched her eyebrows at her brother but didn't question him anymore. She noticed that her brother was drinking tea instead of his usual coffee or hot chocolate. "Are you having your period?"
"No!" Alec was abashed. Although he knew Isabelle went through it too, but he did not feel comfortable talking about that with his sister.
"What?!" Alec snapped.
"Are you going through PMS right now?"
Alec rolled his eyes. "That is none of your business, Izzy." He quickly finished his breakfast—his tea, because he really can't stomach anything solid at the moment—and washed his mug before saying, "I'm going out. I probably won't be home for lunch." He didn't bother listening to Isabelle's reply, and stepped out of the house.
He walked to Alicante Park, and sat on one of the empty benches. It was not even nine yet, so there were still a lot of joggers at the park. He bit his bottom lip as he subconsciously placed a hand on his lower belly, and contemplated his options. It was early March, and he didn't have his menstrual cycle last month. Granted, his was always irregular, but add in the other symptoms… He couldn't be in denial anymore.
Going to the pharmacy alone was out of the question because he wouldn't be able to muster enough courage to do so. It would be different if Catarina were in town. Since her family owned the local pharmacy in town, he could ask her to buy it for him. A little interrogation by the second year med student was better than everyone else in the small town finding out. Alas, luck wasn't on his side because Catarina decided to stay in New York City instead of coming home for the weekend.
In the end, Alec knew there really was nothing to think about. It was clear what his only choice was right now. Because both Catarina and Tessa were unavailable, his only option was Clary. Her mother probably still have some pregnancy test kit.
Alec stopped by Taki's Diner and bought Clary's favourite coffee, and breakfast food as an offering. Then, he walked towards Clary's house. It was at the other side of town, and it took him fifteen minutes to walk there. Magnus lived on that street too, in a mansion at the end of the street. He was relieved to see that Luke's truck was not parked in the driveway, so he at least had one person less he needed to worry about.
Clary was surprised when she answered the door and saw Alec. They were friends, sure, but he had never visited her without Magnus, Jace or Isabelle before. "What are you doing here?"
"Good morning," Alec greeted her. "I bought you coffee and your favourite pie from Taki's," he said, shoving the meal into Clary's hands.
"Thanks?" Clary told him, confused. "But why are you here? Not that I'm not glad to see you or anything, but you've never come to visit me on your own before."
"It's a long story. May I come inside?"
Remembering her manners, Clary replied, "Oh, yes, sure. Come on in." She opened the door wider, and Alec stepped inside. She closed the door behind him, and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. She placed her coffee and pie on the breakfast nook table, and told him to take a seat. Then, she asked, "Coffee or tea? Or juice? I think we have some OJ and apple juice."
"Uh, water is fine." Clary nodded, and went to get him a glass of water. He looked around. "Your parents aren't home?"
"Luke drove mom to Manhattan to discuss about her art exhibition preparation with some people. There's only two weeks left," Clary placed the glass of water in front of Alec before she sat on the opposite side of Alec. "So, what's going on?"
Alec didn't dare look at Clary; instead, he looked at his hands on the table. "I need a favour. Does… Does your mom still have her pregnancy test kit?" Clary gasped, and Alec squirmed in his seat. He could feel his face heating up, and his heart thumping hard. He felt nauseous again, and he knew that this time, it was because of his anxiety.
Clary touched one of his hands, and reluctantly he looked up. He was met with the redhead's worried eyes. "Do you think you're pregnant?"
Alec shrugged, trying to be nonchalant about it but he was actually blushing. "I'm nine weeks late, and I've been so tired lately. And there's also the throwing up, and the bloated feeling."
Clary stood up so suddenly that it startled Alec. "Okay, come on," she said. She told him to follow her to her room. "Leave your water. You won't be needing it." As Alec followed her up the stairs, she explained, "Mom told me before that drinking too much water right before the test could dilute your urine, and could affect the test."
Alec nodded, knowing that Clary knew what she was saying. After all, Clary had announced that her mother was pregnant just a month ago. He bet that Clary was there when Jocelyn did the test so the redhead knew the procedures.
She instructed him to wait in her bedroom while she takes the pregnancy test kit from her parents' bathroom. Alec was pacing by the time she returned with the box in her hand. She gave him a plastic cup, and he knew his face was red when he took it from her.
Clary gave the instruction to Alec so that he could read it. "You… Well, you will have to hold the pregnancy test under urine stream for a couple of minutes so… Uh, if you can't, then you can use the cup."
From the way that Clary looked everywhere else but his direction, Alec knew that Clary was as uncomfortable as he was about this whole thing. After he finished reading the instruction, he took one test with a trembling hand. Before he left for the bathroom just across the hall from Clary's room, Clary asked, "Do you want me to wait with you?"
"N-No. That's okay, you can stay here."
"Don't forget to use your timer to be more accurate," Clary called out when he stepped into the bathroom. Alec nodded before he shut the door.
That ten minutes Alec spent waiting was currently the most agonizing and terrifying moment in his life. He did everything to a T and paced in the bathroom until his timer rang. When he saw the result, he gasped and accidentally dropped the test. His legs felt weak, so he slowly dropped to the cold tile, his back against the bathtub.
'Oh God, oh God, oh God,' he thought, 'how did this happen?' He covered his face with his hands. He knew how it happened, of course he knew. If he calculated everything correctly, then that meant he conceived during the New Year's party at Magnus's house. He remembered being slightly drunk that night. Someone had spiked the punch with alcohol. But he knew they used protection. Magnus was always careful when it came to him. Did the condom break?
Alec clenched his fists. How is he going to tell his family? And Magnus. How could he tell Magnus? Magnus has a bright future ahead of him, he couldn't burden Magnus with this too.
But it is not your decision to make, a voice inside his head said.
'Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God,' Alec thought. Suddenly, he couldn't breath. He tried, but it became painful gasp. He was starting to see black spots dancing in front of his eyes when he felt cold hands on his cheeks.
"Just…just breath slowly, Alec." It was Clary. "Put…put your head between your knees." When Alec did just as she asked, she said, "Yes, just like that. Slow breath, count to three." Her voice was trembling, and she was scared but she tried not to show it. She tried to distract him, talked about funny things that Jace and Simon and Izzy. It was a slow process but after awhile, Alec finally calmed down.
"I take it the test was positive."
With his head still on his knees, Alec groaned. She ran a hand down his arm before she stood up. She grabbed a clean glass from the sink and filled it with water before giving it to Alec.
"Here, drink some water."
"Thanks," Alec said before taking a sip. When Clary sat next to him, he said, "I'm sorry if I ruined your Saturday."
"Don't worry about it. I was just going to laze around the house anyways."
"I don't know what I should do now," Alec admitted.
"Maybe tell Magnus? He loves you, Alec. He will do anything to support you."
"Which is why I can't tell him. If he wins the fashion competition, he'll win a spot for the internship at a fashion house in Paris. He won't go if he knew about this."
"Are you going to keep it?" At the horrified look Alec gave her, Clary amended her words, "I mean, after you give birth." She knew Alec does not condone abortion.
"I don't know." Suddenly, Alec felt so tired, and all he wanted to do was to curl up on his bed and ignore the world for the rest of the day. He hugged his legs, and rested his chin on his knees. "What am I going to do? I'll lose my scholarship."
As if able to sense how Alec felt, Clary rested a hand on Alec's shoulder. "Let's think about it another day, shall we? Why don't we just grab some pillows, make popcorns, and watch movies in the family room?"
Both of them got up on their feet, and Alec threw away the pregnancy test and cup in the rubbish bin under the sink before washing his hands. He followed Clary to the kitchen, and Clary told him to help himself with any drinks he wanted. He took a soda for the redhead and was about to look for something for himself when the smell of cheese hits his nose. He was hit by a bout of nausea, and quickly excused himself and made his way to bathroom in the hallway between the dining room/family living room and the second living room where they entertain guests.
By the time Alec returned, Clary had set everything up in the family room. On the coffee table, there was a bowl of popcorn, a plate of crackers and a pot of tea. The cheesy nachos Clary made earlier was nowhere in sight.
"How do you feel about Marvel movies marathon?" Clary asked as she held out three DVDs. "I just bought a collection of Marvel movies."
"Sure." Alec wasn't that interested in Marvel, but he knew quite a bit because of Max.
Two and a half movies later, Alec has fallen asleep, his head on the redhead's shoulder. Clary manoeuvred him so that he was sleeping comfortably on the couch. She paused the movie, and went to grab a blanket from Luke's home office. By the time she returned with the blanket, her mom and Luke have just entered through the kitchen door.
"Well, you've been busy it seems," Jocelyn said, eyeing the boxes of Chinese food, junk food and drinks on the coffee table.
"Well, this is a surprise," Luke added. "I've never seen you with Alec Lightwood alone before."
"We are friends, you know," Clary rolled her eyes as she draped the blanket over Alec.
Jocelyn laughed. "Just clear up your mess, and help me with dinner. Will Alec be joining us?"
Clary shrugged. "Probably."
Magnus found his way to the balcony of Will, Tessa, and Jem's apartment with a can of beer in one hand. Despite closing the door behind him, he could still hear the music coming from inside. He really wasn't in the mood to party that night. There was still a lot he needed to do before the semi-final for the fashion design competition. But Will has dragged him to the party, saying that Magnus was moping around because he couldn't visit Alec that weekend. Which was partly true.
Magnus balanced his beer on the balcony railing before he pulled out his cell phone and called Alec. It rang for quite awhile, which caused him to frown. 'Alec couldn't have gone to bed this early, could he?' He checked his wristwatch— it was only a quarter past ten. His shoulder slumped at the prospect of not being able to talk to his boyfriend. He was just about to end the call when finally Alec answered.
Magnus immediately brightened up. "Darling," he exclaimed as he leaned on the railing. "I thought you've gone to bed."
"It's only ten fifteen," Alec huffed.
Magnus laughed. "I miss you, darling."
There was a pause before Alec finally answered, "I…I miss you too."
Magnus frowned when Alec paused, but he decided not to think much about it. "So, what have you been doing all day?" He smiled when he heard Alec's laughter.
"Are you that bored?"
"I've been stuck here the whole time instead of in Idris with you. Of course I want to know how your day went." There was another pause, and now, Magnus was slightly worried. But then, he shook his head. That didn't mean anything. Alec was probably trying to reconstruct his day in his mind before saying it out loud.
"I went to Clary's house. We…hung out. I fell asleep. Jocelyn invited me for dinner. Then, I went home."
Magnus took a moment to process everything before saying, "Wow, that's really a condensed version of your day. And hey, did you just hang out with Clary alone?"
Alec huffed again. "Why is everyone so surprised at the fact that Clary and I could hang out like normal friends without you, Jace or anyone else within the vicinity?"
Magnus laughed. "I'm sorry," he apologized, although he was still amused. He started telling Alec about his own day. Granted, it was boring because he spent all day on campus, working on the final product of his design but Alec didn't once show any indication that he was bored. In fact, his boyfriend seemed to soak everything he told him like a sponge, asking questions here and there. "I wish I'm with you right now."
"Hey, hot stuff. What are you doing out here all in your lonesome? They're playing beer pong inside. Join me?"
Magnus groaned when he heard the female voice from behind him. He could hear Alec from the other line, asking:
"Magnus, who was that? Did a girl just called you hot stuff? Are you at a party?"
Magnus covered his phone with his hand before turning around, "Can you leave me please. I'm in the middle of a phone call." The girl pouted, but fortunately she left him alone. "Alexander?" he called out, placing the phone near his ear once more.
"Are you at a party?"
"Yes," Magnus admitted.
"I thought you're busy preparing for the semi-finals."
Magnus could feel Alec's tone became cold. "I was. Will dragged me to his party." Even though it was true, he knew it sounded like excuses.
"Okay. I'm tired, so I'll talk to you later. Good night."
Alec ended the call before Magnus could say anything. He knew he messed up. He buried his face in his hands, which was propped on the railing, and groaned.
Alec went to his bed, grabbed something—a stuffed duck Magnus gave him, knowing how much it bothered Jace—and threw it at the wall. At the same time the door opened.
"Wow, have you been skipping your anger management class, dear brother?" Isabelle asked, amused as she closed the door behind her.
Alec lay down and buried his face under a pillow. He thanked God that he had already turned off his laptop. All the Internet tabs he has opened were on teen pregnancy. "Why are you here?" he asked.
"I wanted to ask for a favour, but I guess right now you need my help more than I need yours."
"Go away," came Alec's muffled reply from under the pillow. "I don't need help."
"Well, brother dearest, it looks different from my point of view." Isabelle went to sit on the right side of Alec's queen-sized bed, her back against the headboard. "Now tell me what happened."
There was silence for a few minutes followed by Alec's sigh. "You're not going to leave, are you?"
Isabelle's tone was far too cheerful for this time of the night. Alec sighed. He removed the pillow from his face, and sat up, back against the headboard like Isabelle. "I was talking to Magnus. I overreacted. The end."
Isabelle arched her eyebrows at her brother. "Short, and straight to the point. Nice." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, and said, "Don't worry too much about it, Alec. I'm sure by tomorrow, Magnus would be begging you for forgiveness."
Alec couldn't help it, his lips twitched upwards. He bumped his sister's shoulder with his own. "What makes you think it was Magnus's fault?"
"Because I'm your sister, and I'm biased." Isabelle laughed. Then, she stood up. "I'll just leave you on your own to brood now."
"What did you want earlier?"
"Don't worry about it," Isabelle said, waving a hand at Alec. "I'll just ask Jace."
After Isabelle left, Alec curled up on his bed, hugging a pillow. He thought about his conversation with Magnus, and shook his head. 'I can't believe I acted that way.' He knew Magnus would never cheat on him, but he couldn't help but feel a little bit hurt. Magnus couldn't spend the weekend in Idris because of his project, but he could attend a party.
"It must be the hormones," Alec muttered to himself. He placed a hand on his belly. He knew he couldn't feel anything yet, and it would be a few more weeks before the baby bump would be noticeable, but he was still in awe. There's a tiny being growing inside him, granted at the moment it was still a blob of cells. Suddenly, he felt a lump in his throat, and his chest tightened. He surprised himself when a sob escaped his throat. The weight of everything came crashing, and overwhelmed, Alec cried silently into his pillow.
Alec didn't remember when he fell asleep, but by the time he woke up, his eyes were puffy. And there was another body pressed to his, spooning him. It was Magnus. He knew the smell of Magnus's body wash anywhere. He turned around, careful not to wake his boyfriend. He bit his bottom lip when he saw how tired Magnus was. The older teen was snoring, which he only did when he was tired. 'And he probably drove all night too, just so he could be here,' Alec thought. "I am such an idiot," he muttered to himself. But apparently it was loud enough to wake Magnus.
"Alec?" Magnus murmured, hugging him close.
"Good morning," Alec said.
"Morning," Magnus replied, slowly opening his eyes.
"When did you get here? How did you get in here?"
"I'm sorry about last night," Magnus apologized.
Alec stopped Magnus before his boyfriend could apologize even more. "You have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who overreacted."
"Okay, so we're both sorry," Magnus chuckled as he buried his head against the crook of Alec's neck. He was still sleepy. It had been awhile since he had a proper—at least six hours—sleep. This was one of the reasons why freshmen's weren't encouraged to enter the fashion competition.
Alec stroked Magnus's hair with one hand. Magnus's hair was soft, and fell down a few inches above his shoulder. He loved it when Magnus didn't spike up his hair with gel; he loved Magnus's soft hair. "Did you sneak in through my balcony again?" he asked softly.
"Hmm," Magnus replied, which Alec took as a yes.
He muttered to himself, "My mom would freak if she found us." 'Not that it matters,' he thought, 'I'm already pregnant.' He resisted the urge to place a hand on his stomach.
"Love you, Alec," Magnus mumbled. Apparently, he has fallen asleep again.
Alec bit back the sob that threatened to escape. "Love you too, Magnus," he whispered. At that moment, he knew his decision was made. But for a little while longer, he wanted to be with Magnus. Just like this.
"You broke up with him?!"
Alec sighed before he closed his locker. He turned and faced Clary. It had been almost two weeks since he went to the redhead for help. "Want to repeat that a bit louder? I don't think they heard you in China."
Clary glared at him before dragging him under the staircase, away from everyone's view. "Magnus drunk dial me last night. Why did you break up with him? Even the blind could see how much you love him."
Alec blinked, and after a beat, he said, "Well, okay." He started to walk away but Clary grabbed his arm.
"Well, Clarissa, this is none of your business." Alec regretted it as soon as the words came out of his mouth. Clary looked slightly hurt. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way."
"It's okay," Clary shrugged. "I shouldn't have pushed."
"I didn't want to make him choose."
"He will always choose you, Alec."
"And that is why I broke up with him. He's…He's so talented, Clary. It'll be unfair for him."
"And what about you? It'll be unfair for you too, if you have to raise—"
Alec immediately clamped his hand over Clary's mouth. "Not here," he said, looking around. When Clary nodded, he removed his hand.
"Sorry, I wasn't thinking." After Alec nodded, Clary asked, "But you've at least told an adult about this, right? Your parents or a doctor? Or someone?"
"Yes, I've told my Dr. Penhallow."
Clary sighed in relief. "That's good. That means you've got prenatal care."
Alec laughed. "You're a good friend, Clary Fairchild." The bell rang, indicating homeroom was about to start. "I'll see you later."
"See you," she replied, and they went their separate ways.
Time seemed to pass slowly that day, and Alec couldn't be happier when the final bell rang. He decided to skip archery practice, and went home. His morning sickness has been torturing him all day, and he couldn't ask to go to the infirmary. They would ask why, and everyone would know.
When Alec entered his car, he was glad that Jace took his bike to school that morning, and Izzy and Clary had plans so his sister would be catching a ride with Clary. He was surprised however when he arrived home, he saw his mother's car parked in the driveway. He frowned. His mother should still be at work right now. What was she doing at home?
Alec saw his mom sitting by the dining room table once he walked further into the house. But what made his heart stop were the bottles sitting on the table in front of his mother. It was his prenatal vitamins.
"Alexander," his mom said when she realized he was home.
"I can explain."
"Then explain to me why my 17 year-old son, who is close to graduating, is pregnant!"
Alec winced. He was glad that it was only him and his mom right now though. Small mercies. "I—We used protection. It broke." There was no way to get out of this, he knew. His mother could see right through his lies.
"It broke," Maryse echoed. She sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alec," she said with a sigh, which made Alec look down at his feet. He hated being the cause of his mother's disappointment. "And where is Magnus? Why isn't he taking responsibility?"
"Because I didn't tell him." He said it so softly he was surprised his mother heard him.
"I've made my decision, mom. I'm not dragging Magnus into this. He has a bright future ahead of him. He… He could go places, mom. Given the right opportunities, he could be so successful."
"And what about your future."
At that, Alec could only shrug.
Maryse surprised Alec for the second time that day when she suddenly pulled her son in a hug. "You've grown up to be a brave young man, Alec. I'm sorry if it seems like you can't tell me things. I'm so proud of you."
Alec smiled, and if tears were clouding his eyes, then no one would know. He wrapped his own arms around his mother. "Thank you."
After that, they had a heart-to-heart talk. They talked about Alec's first check-up, and he showed her his first ultrasound. She cried happy tears when she saw the picture. They stopped when Maryse's secretary called, saying she has an appointment with her client in an hour. She hugged Alec once more before saying, "I know it's hard, but please don't take so long to tell everyone. We're a family, and we want to support you."
Alec just smiled when his mom went to freshen up. But inside, inside he was anxious about how his siblings and his father would react. He knew his fears were unfounded, but he couldn't help what his brain was telling him.
Magnus had a frown on his face as he drove from New York City to Idris, with Tessa in the passenger seat. He knew he was being paranoid, but knowing his friends, he wouldn't put it pass them if they have something planned. It had been almost four months since he and Alec broke up, and not once had he return home ever since. Instead, he focused on his course work, and the fashion competition, which he won second place. The first and second place winners won a summer internship program at a well-established fashion house in Paris.
He would be leaving for Paris in a week, so Tessa and his other friends have managed to guilt trip him into visiting Idris for awhile. He let out a sigh. He hadn't really talked to Isabelle after his break up with Alec, but he still kept in touch with Clary. She was his friend first, after all. The redhead never mentioned Alec when talked though. The same goes for Tessa, Will and Jem. They knew it was a taboo subject because they knew Magnus was still not over the eldest Lightwood son.
"Are you nervous?" Tessa asked out of the blue, after an hour or so of silence, breaking him out of his though.
"And why would I be nervous?"
"It's a small town, Magnus. There's a chance that you'll meet your ex."
"I knew you guys had an ulterior motive when you forced me to return home with you."
"Asked," Tessa corrected.
"Fine, guilt tripped," Magnus conceded.
"Don't be so paranoid. We just thought that it would be good for you to visit some friends before you leave." Magnus snorted, so she added, "You can't stay away forever, Magnus."
"I wasn't staying away."
"Could've fooled me."
"He broke up with me via a phone call, Tessa. Without giving me any reasons, he broke up with me."
"So what? You're just going to ignore all your friends in Idris because you couldn't risk seeing Alec?" When Magnus didn't answer, she continued, "Besides, don't you think you owe it to yourself to find out his reasons?"
Magnus didn't answer, and Tessa didn't continue. They spent the rest of the journey home in silence. They arrived slightly later than their predicted time, which was a quarter before ten. Magnus dropped Tessa straight home. He didn't bother going inside for some tea when Tessa invited him, afraid that one of the Lightwoods might see him. Tessa lived with her foster family, the Branwells, in the same neighbourhood as the Lightwood family. When he arrived to his own house, he found out from his housekeeper that his father was out of the country for business. Well, nothing new there.
In his room, he changed and sat on his bed. His phone lay in front of him, and he stared at it. He didn't want to admit it earlier, but he knew Tessa was right. But it had only been a few months, and everything was still raw. He loved Alec, and he still does. He had been in a few relationships before Alec, but he never loved someone like he loves the younger teen. It wasn't just some high school lust. And he knew Alec hadn't move on either.
After Alec broke up with him, Magnus spent weeks stalking Alec through Facebook and Instagram since the latter wouldn't answer his calls, not that Alec updated much. In fact, Alec's Facebook relationship status was still "in a relationship". That gave Magnus hope, and he continued to stalk Alec's social medias updates until Tessa, Will, and Jem held an intervention. He wasn't allowed to obsessively refresh Alec's Instagram account page or Facebook page, with hopes that Alec posted something regarding the two of them.
Once he stopped stalking Alec's social medias, his mind started to process what happened, and his hopes wither. Then, there was only sadness and confusion, which turned to anger, and then sadness once more. He focused all of his free time on the competition. If it weren't for his friends, he would have stayed cooped up in his apartment, the studio in the fashion design building, where he worked on his designs, and classes.
He took his phone, and fiddled with it for a moment. He dialled Alec's number from memory, but his thumb hovered over the call button on his iPhone, but he hesitated for a few moments. He pressed call, but after the first ring, his swiped his finger across the screen, ending the call. He threw his phone back on the bed, and sighed. This was going to be a long one-week.
Magnus groaned at the loud voice because of the hangover he had from drinking almost the entire bottle of his father's scotch last night. He knew he shouldn't drink hard liquor—he didn't even like scotch—but they didn't have any beers and Magnus really felt like getting himself drunk last night.
"Not too loud, Clarissa, and don't open the curtains," he hissed as soon as bright light shone into the room.
Clary ignored him. "You've been here for three days, and you haven't even come over to visit me!"
"It's too early for this," Magnus said, pulling his comforter over his head.
"It's already late in the afternoon."
Magnus groaned again, and when Clary sat at the foot of his bed, he knew he had to wake up. Clary was too stubborn to budge. "Why are you here, Clary?"
"To check up on you. It wouldn't do for you to waste away in this lonely house when you're going to be leaving for Paris soon."
"You are very nosy and annoying, biscuit."
Clary laughed. "Go and take a shower. You stink. We're going out for lunch. I'm not taking no as an answer."
Magnus didn't take long in the shower, and he got ready in record time. He still spiked his hair up, but he didn't bother with makeup. Clary was surprised, but she didn't ask, and he was grateful for that. They ended up going to a diner in their neighbourhood. That way, the chances of bumping into Alec was lower.
"Jace and I are going out on a double date with Simon and Izzy later this evening, and Maryse, and Robert took Max and his friends to the beach. They won't be home until tomorrow morning."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Alec will be alone at home. That will be the perfect time for you to talk to him." She quickly added, "And don't tell me you don't want to meet him."
Magnus snorted. "It's not that simple, Clary."
"You know things aren't always so one-sided, Magnus. And you know Alec. Do you really think he will do that if he didn't have any reasons? You know how much he loves you."
Magnus narrowed his eyes at Clary. "You know something, don't you? You know why he broke up with me.
"I—" Clary didn't finish her sentence when she saw the person who had just entered the diner. "Oh god, what is he doing here?"
Curious, Magnus turned to see the person Clary was looking at. His eyes widened when he saw that it was Jace, Clary's boyfriend. Jace saw them, and the blonde smirked as he made his way towards them.
"Hey Clary." Jace's tone turned cold when he acknowledged Magnus. "Bane."
"What are you doing?" Clary hissed. "You knew I'm going to have lunch with Magnus here today, and you knew I told you specifically not to join us."
"Did you? I must have forgotten." Jace waved for at the waitress, and she came over to take his order. Unfortunately, she accidentally bumped hard into the table, and knocked over Clary's glass of cold water. The redhead grudgingly excused herself and went to the bathroom. But before that, she gave her boyfriend a glare, which told him to behave.
Jace only ordered water, and after the waitress left, he looked at Magnus with unreadable eyes. "Why did you come here, Magnus? You should've just stayed in the city."
For a few seconds, Magnus was taken aback. He knew they weren't really close friends, but the blonde has never shown him this much hostility before. "Excuse me?"
"You broke my brother's heart! With what he's going through, you have the nerve to break it off with him?!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"He must have told you, and you broke up with him; running away from your responsibilities."
"I think you've hit your head one too many times, Jace Herondale, because you clearly don't have your facts straight." Magnus was furious now. "I did not break up with Alec. He was the one who broke up with me," he hissed. "And what the hell are you talking about? What responsibilities have I ran away from?"
There was a look on Jace's face as realization dawned upon him. It would've been funny, and Magnus would've laughed if he weren't so angry and confused.
"You really didn't know?"
"I've said that."
"Shit," Jace cursed.
"What have you done?" Clary asked. She came back just in time to hear Jace curse.
"How was I supposed to know that Alec really was saying the truth, and wasn't just covering up for him," Jace gestured at Magnus's direction.
Clary did this hysterical shriek-growl thing that, again, Magnus would've laugh at if he weren't angry and confused. Clary continued, "It wasn't suppose to go like this. We were just supposed to steer him towards the right direction."
"It's not like I am in on your plans," Jace argued.
"I am right here," Magnus said, starting to get irritated.
"He was supposed to find out from Alec."
"I didn't tell him anything important."
As Magnus looked at the arguing couple, he had an epiphany moment. His eyes widened in shock, and the word 'shit' went through his mind, as well as other expletives. He stood up and his chair screeched, which caused Clary and Jace to stop arguing. "I-I have to go." He grabbed some money from his wallet, and dropped it on the table for his portion of food.
Alec was in the den room, reading. He was having a lazy summer. That, and also because it has air conditioning. They were experiencing a hot summer, too hot for Alec to leave the house in large sweaters or a coat. He felt naked going out in only shirts and shorts when his pregnant belly has finally popped. While most of the people in the small town weren't narrow-minded anymore, but there were still a few who gave him the stink eyes for being a pregnant, unmarried teenager.
He has finally reached the 27 weeks mark, although his baby bump wasn't as big as a woman's baby bump. He was a bit worried at first, but his obstetrician, Doctor Penhallow said it was normal because it was his first pregnancy, and his a male carrier, so his uterus was further back.
Alec groaned when he heard the bell ringing. He had just found a comfortable sitting position, and now he has to get up again. He had been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions since morning. The first time he felt it, he immediately called Dr. Penhallow, worried. His doctor assured him that it was normal after the 20 weeks mark. "I'm coming," he hollered when the doorbell persisted. His eyes widened when he saw the person standing in front of him.
"Alec," Magnus breathed out, his eyes wide with surprise.
"Magnus." Alec was surprised as well. He didn't know that Magnus was back in town.
Magnus was startled. Indeed he had his suspicions, back at the diner, but seeing Alec's very obvious pregnant belly with his own eyes was another matter. "You really are pregnant."
Instinctively, Alec hugged his front. He felt like hiding. "Yes." He cleared his throat. "Yes, I am."
'When?' Magnus wanted to ask but he didn't. Instead he asked the most important question to him at that time, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I—" Alec felt like slamming the door in Magnus's face, and run to his room until Magnus left. But he couldn't. Magnus has already found out, and it would be cruel of him if he didn't tell the older teen the truth now. He sighed. "Let's talk inside."
They went to the den to talk. Alec asked if Magnus wanted something to drink. Magnus declined.
"Why didn't you tell me, Alec?"
Alec bit his lower lip when he heard the hurt in Magnus's voice. "I'm sorry," he apologized.
"Why didn't you tell me you're pregnant with my child?" Magnus asked, his voice rising slightly. Alec flinched, so he apologized. "Sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice." He ran a hand over his face, before a laugh escaped his throat. "God, everything made sense now."
"Did you know, you have a very loyal brother," Magnus cut in. "I was eating lunch with Clary when he came and accused me of not taking responsibility. He didn't believe you when you told them how our relationship ended. He thought you were just covering up for me."
Magnus shook his head. "Stop apologizing. Instead, tell me… Tell me why you decided to hide this from me. Tell me why you decided to break up with me. Tell me why you decided to go through all this alone when I would've gladly be by your side, every step of the way."
"I know! I know you would be with me every step of the way. You would've dropped everything for me. I know that, which is why I couldn't tell you. How could I, when you have such a bright future ahead of you? How could I, when the opportunity to achieve your dream is right in front of your eyes? I love you too much to do that to you."
"You don't have the right to make decisions for me, Alexander!"
Alec took a deep breath, and exhaled before he looked directly at Magnus, who was sitting on the armchair across him. "I know that, Magnus Bane. But I will do it again if I—" he stopped mid-sentence because of one strong contraction, so strong that he had to bend down and hug his midsection.
Worried, Magnus immediately knelt in front of Alec. "Alexander, are you okay?"
"Just…Braxton Hicks," Alec answered between groan. Then, there was another awfully strong contraction. His felt his stomach tightening, then the pain in his back before it spread from the top of his stomach, and moved down. "Oh God," Alec shut his eyes, hands clenched into fists.
"I'm taking you to the hospital," Magnus decided.
"No, it's okay. It'll pass."
"I don't care, Alec. I'm taking you to the hospital."
Alec knew there was no room for arguments when he heard the firm tone in Magnus's voice, so he agreed.
Half an hour has passed after Magnus and Alec arrived at the hospital. After filling in some forms, and had a basic check up and his blood taken for some test by a nurse, he and Magnus was finally taken into an examination room. Not long after that, Alec's obstetrician, Jia Penhallow, entered.
"Well," Dr. Penhallow, said, with her finger in Alec's cervix as she checked for dilation. "You're definitely 2 cm dilated. Fortunately, your water has not broken, and your contractions have stopped, but from now on, you'll be under complete bed rest. And I'm going to keep you here tonight for observation, just in case." She looked at Magnus, then back at Alec. "I see both of you made up."
Dr. Penhallow laughed at the look on both Magnus and Alec's face. "The Lightwood and Penhallow family are old friends and we do live in the same neighbourhood, so Maryse and I talked."
Still flustered, Alec said, "I hope you didn't tell my mother confidential information."
Dr. Penhallow snorted. "What kind of doctor do you think I am?" Then, all of a sudden, she became serious once more. "Since you're here now, why don't we do another ultrasound?" After Alec nodded, she asked, "Would you like Magnus to be present?"
Alec turned to Magnus, and Magnus knew then that the ball was in his court now. "I…" Magnus cleared his throat, "I would love to."
After everything was set up, and Alec was prepped up, Magnus was in awe when he heard the steady and strong heartbeat, and saw the image on the machine. "It's a girl." He felt a lump in his throat, and tears welled up in his eyes. If he hadn't been so stupid, he thought. If he had return to Idris sooner, he would've had the chance to see their child grow inside Alec earlier. "Oh god, Alec. It's a girl." He was holding on to one of Alec's hands. Magnus was determined not to lose any more of these moments.
Alec gave Magnus a small smile. "Yes, it is."
"I'll give you two some time alone for a few minutes."
Magnus looked at the image on the screen for a few minutes longer before diverting his attention to Alec. "Alec, I— Right now, I'm not sure where we stand." There was a short pause before he continued, "But I still love you. I will always be in love with you, and I don't think I can stop. So please…I want to be in your life again, and in our baby's life. I want to be with you for the remainder of your pregnancy. Please."
Alec bit his lower lip, and he felt a lump forming in his throat. It was easier when Magnus didn't know. That way, he could make all the decisions, and no one could talk him out of it. But now that Magnus knew… He didn't know how to tell him.
"I'm sorry," Alec said, so softly that Magnus almost couldn't hear it. "Could you call Isabelle and tell her where I am? They'll be worried."
Magnus knew he was brushed off, although he didn't know why. Alec didn't seem angry with him, but Alec didn't seem happy either. In fact, he looked a little sad, as if he was the bearer of sad news. Magnus hesitated for a moment. "Are you…"
"I'm not going anywhere, Magnus."
"That's not what I was going to ask."
"Just… Please call Izzy for me?"
Dr. Penhallow chose that moment to re-enter the room. "That's a good idea. Besides, there are things that I need to discuss with Alec privately."
Magnus gave Alec a look before he sighed, and nodded at Dr. Penhallow. He knew when he was not wanted. Alec sighed in relief once Magnus left the room.
"Trouble in paradise?"
Alec shook his head. "We haven't officially got back together yet. I didn't know he came back for the summer. I—We haven't really talk about all this."
"Well, whatever you decide, please remember that you need to keep your stress level down," Dr. Penhallow said sternly.
"I know. I'll make sure to keep my stress level down."
By the time Alec returned to his room, his siblings were already there, and they brought Clary and Simon with them too. The nurse, who wheeled him into the room, helped him onto the bed and attached the drip to his arm. Isabelle kept fussing over him, and Jace was glaring at Magnus.
He sighed. Right now, he was having some mixed feelings. One part of him wanted to be alone with Magnus so that they could talk. At that moment, he felt so tired for keeping all the secrets to himself, and he just felt like telling Magnus everything. But another part of him, the cowardly part of him, was glad that his siblings were present in the room. He knew that Magnus wouldn't try to talk to him about the baby and what it meant for their relationship with his siblings around. He knew Magnus was most probably still angry and hurt about being in the dark regarding the pregnancy. He didn't want to think how Magnus would react once the older teen found out about his decision after the birth of the baby.
"Hey," Jace said, snapping Alec out of his thought. The nurse was no longer in the room, and at the other end of the room, an angry Isabelle was giving Magnus the third degree, while Clary and Simon tried to calm his sister down.
"Should we save Magnus from Isabelle?"
"Nah." A few seconds passed before Jace turned to look at Alec, a guilty expression on his face.
"It was my fault that Magnus found out you're pregnant. I'm sorry."
"I think he would've found out regardless," Alec told his adopted brother, although his insides felt like it was tied in knots. "There's no way I could hide this from him when we're in the same town. Besides, people in this town gossip."
"Still," Jace shrugged, "I'm sorry."
Alec didn't say anything; instead he reached for his brother's hand, and squeezed it. It's not your fault was the silent message.
"We should return to your house, and pack Alec's stuff," Clary said, her voice loud and clear. "And let Magnus and Alec talk."
"What?" Alec immediately turned his attention to the redhead. Clary gave him a look, and somehow, he knew the redhead had something planned. His friends were really meddlesome. "What are you up to, Clary?"
Clary ignored Alec's question. Instead, she went to his bedside, and gave him a peck on his cheek. "Please talk to him. He really loves you, Alec, and you deserve to be happy," she whispered before pulling away. She pulled Jace towards the doorway despite her boyfriend's protest.
"We'll be back with your stuff soon, brothermine," Isabelle said, as she followed Clary out. The redhead was glad that Isabelle wasn't being as difficult as Jace.
Simon waved at Alec and Magnus before following the others out.
"So…" Magnus cleared his throat. "Clary wasn't being as subtle as she thought she was."
Alec snorted. "That's an understatement." The silence between them made his dread returned. He opened his mouth to say something, but Magnus beat him to it.
"Uh, just to clarify, you're almost seven months pregnant, aren't you?"
Alec nodded. "Yes."
"So it was at the party then," Magnus said, mostly to himself. After a short pause, he asked, "What is going to happen now, Alec?" Magnus wrung his hands together. "I don't know what else to say to convince you that I'm not going anywhere; that I won't ruin my future even if I choose you. "
Alec decided to rip off the metaphorical band-aid quickly, because at least it would hurt less that way. Or so people said. "I'm not going to keep this baby after she's born, Magnus." Alec curled up on the bed, his back towards Magnus so that he didn't have to see the look on Magnus's face as the older teen registered what he just said. He waited for Magnus's reaction, feeling his heart thumping hard in his chest.
"I… I think I need to get some air."
Alec didn't realize he was holding his breath until he heard the click when the door closed. He also didn't realize he was crying until he felt his cheeks wet with tears, and the ugly sob escaped his throat. Suddenly, everything was so painful, and the hurt he thought he has kept locked away was unleashed.
Magnus sat in his car, forehead pressed on the steering wheel. He shouldn't have left, he knew that, not after he told Alec he won't be going anyway; but he couldn't stay—he didn't know what to say if he stayed. How could Alec come to that decision? The baby was their flesh and blood; she was theirs. Both their family were very well off, they have the money. How could he decide to give her away?
'He's still so young,' his brain supplied, 'you both are.'
He banged his head against the steering wheel once, twice…before muttering, "Damn it!" He needed to clear his head, so he decided to go to a person who was not involved in this whole situation.
By the time he arrived at the Downworlder, the tavern owned by his 22 year-old childhood friend, Ragnor Fell, it was only a quarter to seven. It was still so early, there were only two patrons there, sitting at the bar. Helen Blackthorn was their bartender. Raphael Santiago, another friend of theirs who also worked with Raphael, was setting up the stage. It was Jazz night. Ragnor was at the bar, cleaning some of the glassware.
Magnus went to the bar and sat in front of Ragnor. The older man took one look at him, raised an eyebrow and said, "Well, you look like shit."
"I feel like shit too."
"Ah," Ragnor said, now understanding Magnus's troubles.
"You knew he was pregnant, didn't you?" There was no accusation in his voice, just resignation.
Ragnor nodded. "Of course I did. I think everyone who knew Alec knew. Idris is not really a big town. People gossip." He took a bottle of beer from the shelf behind him and pushed it in front of Magnus. "Here, have some. It's on the house."
"Thanks," Magnus muttered, drinking a quarter of the beer in one gulp. The burn in his throat cleared his head albeit a little. "Alec is going to give the baby away for adoption."
"It is hisdecision."
"But I'm the father. Don't I have a say in all this?" He took another swig of his beer.
"Then fight for it."
"If you came here to whine, Magnus Bane, then you've come to the wrong place. The way I see it, you have two choices. One, fight for your right, and convince Alexander that the three of you can have a future together. Or two, sign away your parental rights, and allow your child to be adopted."
Magnus glared at his childhood friend, and Ragnor glared back. It lasted for a few seconds before he broke contact and took a large swig of his beer. He knew that what Ragnor said was right. Besides, wasn't this the reason why he went to Ragnor in the first place? Ragnor, with his no-bullshit tone and no nonsense-attitude, always saw things objectively.
Magnus ran a hand down his face. "It's not that simple."
"Of course it isn't."
"You're not helpful."
"If that's what you want, you would've gone to Tessa, or Catarina," Ragnor said, while cleaning the glassware in front of him. "You came to me because you knew you need someone to open your eyes. Go and talk to him like an adult, Bane. Because if you can't, then Alec's decision to give the baby up for adoption might be the right decision after all." Then, for a few seconds, he gave Magnus a sympathetic look. "Just remember, Magnus, that both of you are still so young."
Magnus didn't say anything. He knew Ragnor was right, that everything he said was true. But it didn't make him feel better, because that wasn't what he wanted to hear.
Magnus finished his beer, and maybe he set the empty beer bottle down on the wooden counter top a little too hard but he didn't particularly care right now. "Thanks for the beer," he said as he stood up. As he walked out the door, he gave Raphael a nod when the Mexican gave him a pointed look.
Magnus just drove and drove aimlessly, and after an hour, he realized that he has arrived at Greenwich. He was aware that he has received a few missed calls from Clary, and even one from Isabelle, but he ignored it. He stopped at a diner for dinner, and there he contemplated everything.
Alec was surprised to see that it was his parents that came to pick him up from the hospital that morning. His mother met him in his room while his dad dealt with the discharge form. His mother gave him a hug before sitting down next to him on the bed.
"Izzy told me that Magnus is back in town."
"Izzy has a big mouth."
"Jia said Magnus brought you to the hospital."
Alec groaned, "Mom."
Maryse chuckled. "Sorry." After she sobered up, she placed a hand on Alec's. "I was so worried when Izzy told me you were in the hospital."
"Sorry for worrying you."
"I've never seen your father drove so fast. I think, if the children weren't in the car with us, he would've speed off, not caring about breaking traffic lights and speed limits."
Alec laughed, but stopped and his eyes widened when he saw the look on his mother's face; she wasn't joking. After a short pause, he asked, "Do you think I made the right decision, not telling Magnus that I'm pregnant with his child?"
Maryse sighed. She wrapped her arm around Alec's shoulder. "In this case, I think it's not about right or wrong, but doing what's best for yourself, your partner, and the baby." She kissed the crown of his head, and stood up when the nurse came in with the wheelchair.
The drive home was silent. He was glad that his parents didn't ask anything about him and Magnus. Upon arriving to their home, he was mortified when his father asked if he needed to be carried inside. His mother rolled his eyes and told Robert that just because Alec's under complete bed rest, didn't mean he was not allowed to walk the short distance into the house.
He was relieved to find out that Jace and Isabelle went out on a breakfast date with Clary and Simon respectively. That meant he won't be "interrogated" yet. Max was in the den, playing video games, so he joined his younger brother after taking a bath to soothe his aching back.
He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until his mother shook him awake. "Alec, there's some trouble at the office, so I have to go in after all. Will you be okay with Max?"
"Sure," Alec said, sitting up properly on the couch.
"Thank you." Maryse pecked him on the forehead before saying, "Max has already eaten lunch. Yours is in the oven, just reheat it for a few minutes whenever you feel like eating. I made lasagne."
"Don't worry, mom. I know what to do."
Maryse nodded at him before walking out of the room. He heard her saying goodbye to Max, who was in the kitchen, before he heard the sound of the front door closing. Not long after that, Max came in holding a glass of orange juice and a bottle of mineral water.
"I thought you might be thirsty." Max placed the drinks on the coffee table in front of the couch.
"Thanks." Alec patted the empty seat beside him. "Want to watch some movies together?"
Eagerly, Max nodded and carefully sat down next to Alec. The older Lightwood wrapped a hand around his brother as he turned on the television. They cuddled together as they watched reruns of some Mission Impossible movies. It was almost two in the afternoon when they heard the doorbell ringing.
"I'll get it," Max said before Alec could even move.
Alec nodded. "Make sure to ask who it was first."
He heard the door opened and closed, and then nothing. After a few minutes, he called out, "Max, who is it? Are you okay?" When there was no reply from his brother, he was about to go and check it. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Magnus standing at the doorway of the den. He slumped back into his seat. "Magnus…"
"Max went to the kitchen to give us some privacy."
"What are you doing here?"
Magnus hesitated at first before taking one step into the room. "I'm sorry for running out on you last night."
"No," Magnus cut in. "Let me speak." After Alec nodded, Magnus let out a shaky breath. "I've thought about things last night, and I realized how unfair I was. I was so upset at the thought that other people will raise our child, and I forgot… I forgot that we are barely an adult." Then, another step forward. "I still want to be by your side, until the end, if you will still have me."
A few seconds passed in silence before Alec nodded and said softly, "Come here."
That was all Magnus needed before he knelt in front of Alec, his head on Alec's lap. "I'm so sorry," his voice breaking slightly because of the lump in his throat.
"I'm the one who should apologize," Alec told Magnus. He stroke Magnus's hair with one hand, and he could feel the tears stinging his eyes. "I took you choices from you, and that was unfair. Because of that, you've missed out on a lot of things."
Magnus raised his head. "I'm here now."
"Yes, you are," Alec smiled. "And I still love you too, Magnus." He leaned down and pressed a kiss on Magnus's mouth. "I won't—I'm not going to change my mind about the adoption. The baby deserves the best, and I don't think we can give her the attention she deserves when we will both be so busy with college. But still, I want to get back together if you still want me too."
Magnus answered Alec with a long, passionate kiss. When Alec pulled back with a wince, his face morphed from happy to worried. "What's wrong?"
Alec managed a smile and shook his head. Then, he took Magnus's hand and guided it to the side of his stomach. There was nothing at first, and then, a kick.
Magnus's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. He turned to look at Alec. "This… This is—"
Alec laughed, and nodded. "Yes, that's our baby."
They stayed that way for a few minutes, before Magnus moved and sat on the couch with Alec. He took Alec in his embrace, and they sat there with Alec's back pressed against his chest. At one point, Max reappeared and informed Alec that he would be reading comics in his room. Alec knew that his brother wanted to give him and Magnus a chance to talk without interruption or worries that they would be overheard. His younger brother was too smart for his age.
Magnus sat at the edge of Alec's bed, his arms around his boyfriend as Alec held their newborn daughter. Alec was tired, his hair plastered to his head because of sweat, but Magnus had never seen Alec so beautiful. The younger teen was looking at their baby with a smile; his right pinkie finger was gripped in the baby's fist.
It has been nine weeks since Magnus found out about Alec's pregnancy and got back together with Alec. He decided not to do his internship that year, but the person in charge of the internship at the fashion house assured him that he would be able to do the internship in winter, which appeased Alec slightly. True to his words, he spent the whole summer by Alec's side, only leaving his boyfriend when his friends dragged him away.
Alec went into labour again in his 36 weeks, and this time, they couldn't stop it because his water has broken. It was the longest ten hours in Magnus's life, but in the end, both Alec and the baby were healthy, even if the baby was slightly smaller than average.
"She's so beautiful," Alec breathed out, eyes never leaving the baby. "Is it—Is it selfish of me for having cold feet right now?" His voice broke.
"Alec," Magnus hugged his boyfriend closer carefully. "I want to keep her too," he whispered softly. "But you were right, back then… You were right. She deserves better. We can give her all the love we have—I know we will never lack those. But we can't give her the attention and time she deserves unless one of us sacrificed a year off college, but I can't do that and I can't ask you to do that."
Alec's shoulder shook, and Magnus knew that his boyfriend was crying. He tried his best to soothe Alec. A few minutes later, a nurse came in to take the baby to the incubator in the NICU. When she asked what they'd name the baby, they froze and Magnus answered that it was still undecided. The truth was that they had decided to leave naming the baby to the couple that would be adopting her. That way, they wouldn't be so attached, not that it really mattered. They were already attached from the moment they saw her.
When Alec had fallen asleep from exhaustion, Clary and Tessa managed to convince him to return home for a few hours; take a shower, eat and rest. He had been at the hospital for more than ten hours, never leaving Alec's side throughout the whole ordeal. Knowing he couldn't win when Clary and Tessa joint forces, he agreed with a sigh. Will was the one who gave him a lift home since he was heading out anyways.
Magnus bumped into the Cartwright couple in the evening, when he went to visit Alec and their baby. He was just outside the NICU when he saw them inside, holding the baby in their arms. Something inside him clenched, but he knew this was necessary. He wanted to walk away, but the couple saw him. He didn't have a choice but to meet them inside.
Mrs. Cartwright immediately gushed about the baby upon seeing him; about how beautiful she was, about how thankful they were to be able to adopt her, about how they would love her and give her all the attention she deserved. Magnus felt something ugly inside him stirred. He wasn't sure if it was annoyance or jealousy, or maybe a bit of both. But Mr. Cartwright probably noticed, and he placed a hand on his wife's shoulder, promptly shutting her up.
"We heard from Alec that both of you decided not to name her," Mr. Cartwright said. They went to visit Alec before going to the NICU.
"Yeah," Magnus replied, trying to push away the negative feeling inside of him.
Mrs. Cartwright looked up at her husband, nodded, and turned her gaze to Magnus. "We've decided to name her Alexandra."
Magnus was surprised. "You… Why?"
"So that she will have a link to her biological parents," Mrs. Cartwright answered. "We want her to grow up knowing who her biological parents are. We knew the only reason both of you gave her up is because both of you believe that it was the best for her, and not because of the lack of love. Being able to adopt her was a blessing to us, and we will forever be grateful to both of you."
Magnus was silent for a few seconds, processing every word that was said. For the last few hours since Alec went into labour, he tried to be strong…tried to keep it together for Alec. Now, overwhelmed with emotions, he could feel his mask broke, and he cried.
Mr. Cartwright, who was in his late-thirties, walked towards Magnus, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. The couple knew that there were no words they could say to comfort the teen. So they stood there with him until he calmed down.
The night before Alec was discharged from the hospital, he went to the NICU. Magnus had been sleeping at the NICU every night just so he could have more time with their baby, and Alec would be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit envious. He took the opportunity when Magnus went out to have dinner to talk to their baby alone. The baby would also be discharged from the hospital tomorrow, after two nights in the NICU, and she would be leaving with Mr. and Mrs. Cartwright.
Alec carefully scooped up the baby into his arms. Alexandra, they had named her. "That's a handful, isn't it, baby? I'm going to call you Lexi… my little Lexi," he whispered. She was wide-awake and was looking straight at him, waving her arms around. He swallowed, but the lump that formed in his throat on his was to the NICU would not disappear. He said he wouldn't cry but he couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his face. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep you, but I hope you'll understand when you're older."
Alec sat on the couch by the wall as he nursed her. Some people born with the carrier gene could produce milk, and some couldn't. At first, Alec didn't want to nurse Lexi, afraid that she wouldn't want to drink formula milk when the Cartwright couple took her home. But Dr. Penhallow told him that it would be better to feed her breast milk, at least for a few days, because for a preemie, breast milk would be more beneficial since it was richer with proteins.
Alec hummed for Lexi as he thought back about earlier that evening. After the Cartwright couple visited Lexi, they went to see how he was doing. They made small talks for a few minutes before Mrs. Cartwright said:
"You and Magnus can come down to Atlanta anytime for a visit. We wouldn't mind if you want an active role in her life."
Alec shook his head. "I—I don't know… I don't think it's a good idea." It would be too hard, Alec thought, to see Lexi and then leave without her, again.
Mrs. Cartwright placed hand on his hand. "Just think about it, okay?"
Alec could only nod, although he probably wouldn't take the couple up on that offer.
It was almost two hours later when Magnus finally joined him. He sat on the empty seat next to his boyfriend. "I couldn't find you in your room, but the nurse said you've been here since a quarter past seven."
"I just want to spend every second with her." It had been an hour since Lexi fell asleep. Alec looked at her with a small smile on his face, his index finger in her grip. "I don't want tomorrow to come," he admitted.
Magnus wrapped his arm around Alec. "I don't want tomorrow to come either. I don't think I'm ready for them to take her away."
Alec's breath hitched, and he leaned in against Magnus's chest. "I tried… I tried not to get attached, but I love her so much already."
"We'll see her again," Magnus whispered. "Someday."
The couple sat there together, with Lexi still in Alec's arms. They sat there for a few more hours, not wanting to loose what little time they have left with her. Tomorrow, they would watch her leave with the Cartwright couple. Tomorrow, she would legally be Mr. and Mrs. Cartwright's daughter. But for now, she was theirs.