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Special Touch - The Confession

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It wasn’t long after my birthday that I fucked it all up. I had this amazing thing going on in my life and somehow I managed to screw it all up. I think I am still in a fog over how I got here, to this moment. Tears streaming down my face, my flesh hurting, my heart…. I don’t even know what to say about my heart. Let me just lay here and sort it all out, try to figure out how I got so far from that path of perfection.

We had gotten back from New York City on Sunday night after a crowded flight and a busy airport. I didn’t mind the crowd of fans or the way he lost me for a few minutes, we had just spent another adventurous weekend together that still had me buzzing on a sex high. You know, it’s not always like that. It’s not always crazy hot sex in public places or strangers getting us off. It’s not always threesomes and out of control. Most of the time we are too tired to do much more than hold hands as we fall asleep or a quicky before work, vanilla sex that doesn’t seem so vanilla when you are sweetly making love. I only ever seem to tell you about the hot moments that weave through our relationship, but the reality of it is, Norman is really fucking busy and so am I. We can go days without seeing each other even when he isn’t on the road. Between his filming and my job, his press events and my aging parents, it is hard to keep it all together.

No, I am not complaining. I could never imagine being happier with anyone in my life. And having a career for myself makes me excited. I am working in a job that brings me much joy and I know that Norman is in a point in his life that makes him feel the same. Most days I think that we are both in a very good place in our lives and we are blessed to be able to share that together. We had gotten home that Sunday night and snuggled into bed. Norman played with my hair telling me how proud he was of me for being so adventurous with him. It always warmed me inside when I did things that made him proud. I thanked him for taking me to places I would have never known without him. This Georgia Peach can honestly say I would have never found myself turned on by the thought of my lover with another man or secretly hoping I’d get to all out and out have sex in front of Paul someday if it hadn’t been for Norman. Even though I still have moments of hesitation and self-doubt about it all, I know that this sexual exploration is a gift that I am grateful for.

When I woke Monday morning Norman was still sleeping, he didn’t need to be up for a while and I tip toed out of bed and went to work having set up his precious espresso machine and left a note behind, “You looked too perfect to wake. Call me later. Yours.” I had an early morning with Jason, he was there already waiting to hit my massage table. He came in dressed in a tailored suite, he often did. Jason owns a large construction company between here and Atlanta and it seems to be doing very well. We were getting down to one day a week for sessions, he was doing so much better, between keeping up on his physical therapy exercises and simply healing past his accident.

As I came back into the room I was excited thinking about the fact that I would gain one more morning back with Norman after today’s session. Jason was face down on the table his back exposed down to the base of his tattoo. He had an abstract design that ran down just the left side of his back, it was progressive for a southern man. No flag or a pick-up truck, no memorial to a passed relative, just this heavy lined, geometric design that I sometimes wanted to trace with my fingers. It was beautifully done and he told me he had gotten it when he lived in Germany years ago. He had a similar design down his right hip. Sometimes I wished that I could take pictures of my clients on the table. Some of them had interesting art work. He had asked once if I was ‘inked’ and I told him that I had a ‘special piece in an intimate place’.

“MMM. Discreet women with special tattoos.” He had said to me that day. Almost as if he was trying to figure out what it might be and where it was placed.

I worked down the long muscles in his back and he slowly melted into the table. He was chatty today, he asked about my weekend, which I quickly glossed over. “It was my birthday, I went to dinner and a movie with my boyfriend.” Well, some of that was true.

He wished me a happy belated birthday, “Hope he took you somewhere nice Holly.” I was almost positive that he had no idea who I was dating. A few people at the gym knew, but I didn’t get the impression he chatted with many people around here. We never talked for long when he was on the table and I liked that, especially with these early morning appointments.

Norman had texted while I was working. “Miss you. busy week…will see you before I go.” He had to go out of town this week coming up, it was the official premier of the next season of his TV show. They were in the home stretch of filming season five and had just been signed for a sixth. There would be tons of press, interviews, panels and hordes of fans. He was going to leave town tomorrow for California then he had to go to a convention in Austin where I was going to catch up with him.

‘Check the calendar’ I texted back. I had doubled checked his schedule and reworked mine a little so that we could have lunch together Tuesday afternoon.

Shortly thereafter he texted, ‘The best!!!!’.

I had gone to see my folks for dinner Monday night and I have to say, I almost felt badly for how easily I was able to lie when my dad asked about the art exhibit Norman had supposedly taken me to in New York. I left it at ‘vintage art that I didn’t fully understand’. My dad is no art connoisseur, I knew the questions would die there.

The days rolled quickly and by the time Norman had gotten home late Tuesday afternoon, lunch had been long forgotten and I was just finishing up a load of laundry so he would have everything he needed to take to California. He had been calling and texting about how his day had gotten screwed up and how he was barely going to be able to catch his flight. Even with all the press events he had coming up, he still just packed in his backpack. The suit he would wear for the preemie would be delivered to his hotel, just as the shirts and tie I had laid on the bed would be pressed in California. He’d be gone five days in a backpack. I was going to meet him for two of those day and I still needed a rolling suitcase. It always made me laugh.

I heard his bike pull into the drive and the back door opened quickly slamming behind him. We met in the hallway and he looked frazzled. “Still gotta print my boarding passes, pack and make some calls. So far behind today.” I blocked the hallway and he stopped short of bumping into me. He looked up from the cell phone and stopped. He took in the sight of me standing in just his white long sleeved shirt and ankle socks and smiled. “Hi.” He was instantly in the moment.

The smirk on my face made him laugh. He dropped the pack off his shoulder and slipped his phone into his back pocket. “Hi.” He said it again, this time a little shy as if he had never seen me pantless before.

“I have everything packed for you, unless you were planning to wear this this shirt.” He took a step toward me and wrapped his hand at my hip. “I printed your boarding pass and the schedule the network sent over.” Norman pulled me in close by my hip almost knocking me off balance, his pelvis hitting my stomach as he looked down at my disheveled hair.

He used both hands to cradle my face up to him as he kissed me deeply. Sweet at first then deeper as I wrapped my arms around his. “Come to the airport with me?” It hadn’t been part of the plan earlier but it was now that his schedule had changed so much it would be our only time together. I nodded.

We were both instantly off and running, myself to change into actual clothing that could be worn in public, him making sure everything was packed. There was a car waiting for us in the driveway within a few minutes as I pulled some lunch out of the refrigerator for Norman to eat on the drive to the airport. Once we were settled in the back seat he ate while we talked. “So you’re going to meet me in Austin on Saturday sometime.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I still have to book a flight but I figure I will be there before lunch.” I was getting pretty good at not over planning. There would always be seats on the airplane, even if I needed to book first class to make it happen, which I hardly ever did. He liked that I was getting more comfortable with these types of things. We settled into the back seat, he held me close as we synched up our breathing and just enjoyed our quiet time together. If this had been New York and if Paul had been driving, this may have ended up much differently but here in Georgia, we never seemed to push that envelope.

“Don’t worry if you are too busy to call Norman, I saw your schedule.” He hardly had a free moment in the next three days.

Norman kissed my hair, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He squeezed my hand. “Wish you were coming to California. I know Sean would love to see you.” He winked at me. Norman and Sean had a meeting booked with the writer / director of his movie franchise and they were going to hang out for the night catching up and talking business. With those three together, mayhem was certainly going to happen, I smiled.

We said our goodbyes in the car and I watched as he made his way past the handful of paparazzi and into the airport. He took one final look over his shoulder and then he was gone. It was only going to be a few days but I was sad to see him leaving. Even though I had a busy few days and the time would go by quickly, I felt like I was going to miss him more than usual. Hell, I think it had to do with the fact that I was horny as all get out. I had been hoping we’d have time for a little afternoon delight, but that didn’t pan out.

I had gotten back to the house and put his shirt back on, crawled into our bed with my vibrator and found a little relief by myself. I loved the smell of our sheets, the way his shirt felt wrapped around me. I thought about the little things that got me off most about Norman. His uninhibited drive for sex, his strong arms and chest, that tattoo in the inside of his bicep, that way he used his hands on me during sex and the timber in his voice when he was worked up and wanted to fuck. I came hard and wished I had still had enough energy to come again, but I feel asleep instead. Curled up on Norman’s side of the bed as I dozed off on his pillow.

I can’t say that I dreamt about us or Norman, but I woke a while later feeling as if I had spent an hour or more having the sexiest dream I had had in a long time. I was aching all over as if I hadn’t just cum with the assistance of my favorite toy. Yes, it was going to be a long few days and I had fantasized about arriving and Austin, pulling Norman into a side room and screwing his brains out before sending him back to his fans. Not that I would ever do that, be the fantasy was entertaining.

By Thursday my plans had taken a dramatic change. A mid-day text message told me that I needed to call my mother and that it was an emergency. I had also missed her two earlier calls. She answered from the hospital. My dad had been up on a ladder and fallen while he was trying to repair a gutter. He had landed mostly flat and had some bruises to his ribs and hip but he had also broken an ankle. I told mom that I was available for the rest of the day and that I would be right over. She informed me that they were just finishing up and I should meet them at the house, she would need a little help getting him inside and settled.

I had lied to her, my afternoon had been pretty solidly booked but I called my last four appointments and explained that I needed to cancel. I was on my way to their house when Norman called.

He was between events and we hadn’t talked since lunch yesterday, we had seemed to keep missing each other.

“Hi Baby.” There was a little bit of background noise where he was but I was pretty sure he was on a lunch break. He finally sounded like he was catching his breath.

I couldn’t talk, I was trying not to speed, trying to stay focused on the fact that this was not an end of the world situation; it was just an ailing parent.

His voice went from casual to concern instantly. “Holly, what’s wrong.”

Finally I took a breath. “It’s fine Norm, everything is fine.” Really it was, I just seemed to be an emotional wreck for some reason. “My dad took a fall and had to go to the hospital.”

“Ah shit, is he okay?” Norman was concerned but not flipping out, which was good, because I was already doing enough of that myself.

The tears started and I couldn’t stop them, “He’s fine…. He broke… ankle… fine.”

“SSsshhh…. Baby stop. Stop crying. It’s ok.” It sounded like he had moved to somewhere more private but I couldn’t be sure over my own blubbering. “Are you driving?” I nodded my head not thinking about the fact that he couldn’t see that. “Holly. Pull over. Where ever you are just pull over.” He was commanding and I needed that.

I pulled the truck over to the shoulder of the side road I was on. I was still a few miles from my parents place and I put the truck in park. We talked, well he talked, calming me down. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was crying so much, this was silly. My dad is a relatively fit guy who simply took a fall, be it a dramatic fall. It is never easy when you have to think about your parents getting old like this. Norman was empathic, he had lost his dad to illness at a young age and he understood my concern for them. He never offered to come home from California but he did proposed to skip out on Austin if I needed him to. It was a sweet offer that he knew I would never take him up on, I would never ask him to disappoint so many people so that I could sit and hold his hand while we visited with my parents.

“Look Holly, you stay home this weekend. Spend time with you parents.” He knew me too well. I was almost crying again but I kept it together. “I’ll still pester you all weekend, you’ll hardly even miss me.” He was being sweet, I knew he’d be busy till the plane took off Sunday night. I was so glad he had called when he did, it was exactly what I needed at that moment.

Mom and I got dad into the house and he looked pretty worse for wear, but he was feeling good considering all the pain meds they had given him. “The Doctor said it would take a while to heal and maybe some physical therapy.” I gave my dad a hug and reminded him that I was a massage therapist and that his treatments would be free. It was too late to start dinner so we ordered pizza and got dad set up to sleep in the living for a few nights. He was too tired and sore to try and make it down to the bedroom at the end of the hall. It was heartwarming to watch my parents together, mom doting over dad in that way that only 40 years of marriage could do for you.

Norman had texted between interviews checking in on dad, asking if there was anything he could do from far away.

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By the time I had settled both my parents into bed the office had told me that they were able to chance all of my Friday appointments so that I could come back and see my family again tomorrow. I drove home exhausted but glad that things had turned out as well as they had today. Even from a million miles away it felt good to know that Norman cared so much about me and my family.

He called just before midnight, “Did I wake you?”

“MMM, yeah. But I’m glad you did. I miss you.” I was snuggled on the sofa with his kitty sitting by my head. “You know Eye is actually being nice tonight.” Usually he ignored me.

Norman laughed, “He can be nice when he wants to be.” He really was a big fluffy ball of love, he just didn’t normally cuddle with me.

“Tell me all about your day.” I wanted to get lost in the fantasy world that was Norman’s work day and in his voice.

He went on about interviews and conversations; he filled me in on his meeting with Sean and Duffy. The movie was pretty much a go and he was just as excited about that as he was about his TV show. I was getting sleepy but I didn’t want to hang up.

“Did you want me to talk dirty while you rubbed one out?” His voice was full of mischief.

“Norman!” I couldn’t believe he said that. “And what are you gonna do while I’m getting off?”

“I was going to call Andy and see if he wanted to blow me.” The visual of it all was intoxicating. I hadn’t actually been horny till that very moment and the thought of them going at it. The image of Norman’s big dick filling Andy’s mouth, it was extraordinary. And I didn’t have to imagine it, I simply had to remember. “Oh come on Holly, I’m joking.” He must have thought my quiet was an indication I was mad.

I laughed. “Just getting the visual in my head.” I could never be mad over that thought.

We skipped the dirty talk and simply chatted as I began to fall asleep. He reminded me to plug in my cell phone for charging, told me to call him in the morning and wished me a good night’s sleep. I moved off the couch and was asleep in our bed before too long.

My dream was scattered, clips and bits of things all strung together. Me and Norman holding hand while we made love, his chiseled body over me as he pushed deep inside me. My leg was hooked at his hip but when I looked down it wasn’t his hip. Sean’s maybe, or Andy’s. But that wasn’t right either, I didn’t know whose it was. It didn’t matter, I felt wonderful. Norman’s voice in my ear, ‘so beautiful Holly, such a good girl.’ Then it was Norman in that tailored suit I had seen him in on TV this week, it made his ass look incredible. I was naked and he was in that suit. This interwoven with memories of he and Andy together and then something else. Someone else, I couldn’t pin point it. When I woke I was in need of another orgasm.

I opted for a shower and a cup of tea and by 7am my text messages were blowing up. Norman checking in nand my mom telling me that dad slept well through the night and that they were doing ‘just fine’. Then Melly from the gym texted wondering how things were going and Mandy asking how ‘mom and dad’ were doing.

Mandy was my first call back, she had insisted on coming over yesterday but I convinced her it wasn’t necessary. Today she offered to make a few meals and bring them over to my parents’ house, I thought that was a great idea and I knew mom would appreciate the food and the company. We planned drive over at supper time tonight.

I called into work simply to thank Melly for the thoughtfulness and help yesterday, but again, that didn’t end as planned. Jason had called yesterday afternoon trying to get in to see me today but I was off the schedule and the other therapist was over book. “Give me Jason’s number. I’ll call him and see what we can work out.” He was surprised to hear from me, Melly had told him that I had taken off for a family emergency. He asked about my emergency, trying not to pry.

“It’s fine. Thanks for asking. I have a few hours this morning if you can sneak out of work.” I didn’t want to bother my parents this morning, I was certain my overly efficient mother had it all under control. Jason thanked me profusely and said he could meet me at 10:30. This worked out well for me.

I called Norman hoping not to wake him and he answered after a few rings. “Sorry, just getting out of the shower. Now I’m dripping all over the floor.” He painted quite the visual.

“And I thought you just couldn’t push Andy off you fast enough.” I was much more relaxed than the last night.

“I wish.” He was being funny now. “How ya doin’ baby?” It was great to hear his voice.

I filled him in on a few things and told him that I was going to go into work for a little while then spend the day with my parents. I was sure mom wouldn’t mind the help with laundry and groceries while I kept my dad close by. I wished him a good day and told him to share and extra-long hug with Andy for me. He seemed to appreciate that.

I poured myself a second cup of tea and finally called my mom. We talked for almost an hour while she let my dad rest. He thought we were making too much of a fuss over a fall but we didn’t agree, it had been one hell of a fall. She was happy that I was coming over at lunch time and she finally got off the phone to take a shower.

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I snuck in through the employee door in the back, I didn’t want any of my regulars who had been pushed off to someone else to see me in here. When Jason came into the waiting area I could tell he was hurting. But moreover, something suddenly struck me odd with him and I couldn’t figure it out. He was wearing jeans and button up, not his usual suit, he was on the construction site today and not at the office.

“You really didn’t have to come in Holly, I know you had some family stuff.” He was thoughtful as he limped into the massage room with me.

“My dad took a fall, everything is fine. I’m going to see him at lunch. Why don’t you lay face down and I’ll see what I can do for you.” He nodded as I walked back out of the room. I went into the lounge when it hit me, what has seemed so off just a few moments earlier. I had dreamt of him last night. Tangled into that mix of Norman’s sweet touch was that body I didn’t recognize. That hip I couldn’t identify. It was Jason’s. The untattooed side of his body. I had seen it a dozen times from his hips to his feet. I had dreamt about having sex with Jason.

The thought made me blush. I didn’t know where the inkling had spawned from. He wasn’t my type. Built more like a football player than I preferred and even though he was in pretty good shape, he had never really caught my attention. Too blond for me and too Southern. He had that slow Southern way about him that I no longer found appealing since I had gotten used to Norman’s fast pace and intensity. I closed my eyes and I was back in that dream, my leg hooked around that thigh as I could practically feel him pushing into to. It wasn’t Norman’s touch, that was for sure.

The whole thought shook me and I stood up, almost in a cold sweat. I needed to shake this before I went back to work on him. I went into the ladies room and splashed my face with cold water. I gave myself a stern talking to and reminded myself that I was too professional for this. It took a few minutes longer to get back into my massage room but when I reached for the handle I was ready.

Jason was lying face up on the table. “My back hurt too much to be face down.” I had been relying on the knowledge that I wouldn’t have to look him in the eye for a while.

I smiled, “Not a problem. Let’s get you stretched out and see what’s going on.” I turned down the lights and I started at his legs. His problems were in his low back, I knew stretching his hamstrings would be a good place to start. We talked a bit, more than normal. He told me that he had strained his back yesterday on the job site. He couldn’t seem to resist helping out and getting his hands dirty. He asked about my dad, trying not to intrude. After a while we got quiet and his body was finally beginning to relax. I have to admit, sometimes when I am massaging someone I let my mind wander, far away from the work I am doing. My hands know the route and my brain registers the work that needs to be done, but I don’t always have to be fully present to get it done. Today my brain was a mess, not only was it jumping from thought to thought, but those thoughts were of enjoying Jason’s naked flesh. The tattoo on his leg wrapped mostly around the back of it, but some of it inched around his hip and I studied the patterns today. He had another on his shin, I could tell that it wasn’t by the same artist, but it was still an interesting piece. When I worked at his shoulders I couldn’t help but fix on them. More broad than Norman but not defined in the same way. I tried to close my eyes and stop my mind from thinking about all of this, but it seemed impossible.

Sometimes it seemed inevitable, once a guy got comfortable and his brain started to drift, his penis would react to being rubbed, even if it wasn’t so gently today for the work that needed to be done. As professionally as possible I ignored his half-staff-flag that was begging for attention. And he finally suggested turning over, which I think was best for both of us.

Jason was dressed and at the counter for payment thanking me for coming in on my time off. We booked another appointment for Monday and all I could think was how much I didn’t want to think about him again before then. He was gone and I was out the back door and into my truck.

“Hi Mom, I’m just going to grab a tea and then head over your way. Do you need me to pick up anything on my way?” She told me she was putting together a shopping list, like I insisted she do, so there was nothing for me to get just yet.

I had driven a few miles to the coffee shop that actually made decent tea in town. I walked inside and there stood Jason in line ahead of me. My body froze, I debated walking back out the door but that was silly. It was one dream about a client. And considering how much of my clients I actually saw, it was a wonder that I didn’t dream about them more often.

Jason turned around and once he recognized me he smiled. We chit chatted in line and when he got to the front his insisted on buying me a cup. “Are you in a rush?” His southern drawl was inviting, he was inviting. I shook my head. I really wasn’t in a rush. Mom told me to take my time getting to her, though I am certain she didn’t mean to take a diversion like this.

He motioned to a table and we sat. I asked where his job site was and he told me that it was outside of town a ways. I wasn’t surprised, there wasn’t much large construction being done in our town these days.

“Work must be keeping you busy, your shoulders were pretty stressed today too.” He didn’t often carry stress in his upper back, and I could tell that it was from more than just the heavy lifting that was causing it.

Jason smiled and shook his head as he sipped on his Chickaree coffee. “That would be my break up.” He rolled his eyes. “Diane’s been a real bitch.” He spoke frankly about a topic we had never broached before. I knew he wasn’t married, but I didn’t know anything about his relationship status. “She ended it and now she’s just tormenting me.”

I raised an eye at him, I couldn’t imagine the torment he was refereeing to.

“It’s taken her weeks to get her stuff out of my place, she didn’t have anywhere to go.” I guess she didn’t have a Mandy in her life to rely on. “When she finally found a place, she started nagging about things she wanted to take with her. I told her to take anything she wanted and it all just got worse from there.” He put down his cup and ran his fingers through his hair. “Sorry, you don’t need to hear all this.”

I smiled, “It’s okay. Break up’s are never easy.” Somewhere deep inside me I dreaded the day it would happen to me and Norman. Mandy and my parents had be ready to visit me in an asylum.

“Yeah, but I should be better at this, I’ve had plenty of them.” He traced his finger up and down the side of his coffee cup as I drank my tea.

I was curious, “So what do you miss the most about her?”

He paused and blinked, “Well, it won’t be her cooking.” We both laughed. My guess would be it was more about the sex, just from the way he had paused and smirked. I wondered why they had broken up, was he a workaholic, did he leave his dirty socks on the floor, was he bad in bed. I was pretty certain he wasn’t bad in bed, and suddenly my body agreed, I could feel the heat between my legs.

His cell phone chirped and he apologized for looking at it, “That’s work.” He looked like he needed to leave but he was being polite.

“It’s fine. I should go, I have to get over to see my parents.” We both picked up our cups and headed for the door. He opened it and let me walk through then walked me to the front of my truck. “Thank you for the tea.” I smiled as I fished my keys out of my pocket.

“Thanks for the company. I’ll see you on Monday.” He paused and waited for me to get into my truck then he turned and walked the other way to his pick-up. He really was a southern gentleman, I couldn’t figure out why Diane had broken up with him.

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Dad was reading the paper in the living room with his leg elevated and a cup of coffee. I sat in the chair next to him while mom puttered around the house. I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want to disturb his reading.

“You know you gotta keep this one Holly.” My dad never looked up from his paper.

“Which one?” I was confused.

He folded down one side of his paper and looked at me. “Norman. He’s a keeper.”

I smiled, a little surprised that my father had said any of this, it wasn’t his style to comment on my love life, he usually talked to my mom who then talked to me. “I was planning on it dad. But what makes you think it’s a good idea?”

“He called this morning.” He flipped his paper back up and went back to his reading.

I looked over to my mom.

She put down her dishtowel. “Yeah, he called a while ago. Asked if we needed anything, asked if he could help. Told your dad that he would be over on Monday to take care of anything, sooner if we needed him.”

I just smiled shaking my head. I knew he had my mom’s cell phone number and that they had talked around my birthday, but I never thought he would call and check in on my folks. He really was the sweetest man ever. It just gave me one more thing to add to my very long list of reasons I loved him so much.

After I went grocery shopping and helped with the laundry, mom and I made dinner and then she helped get dad washed up. This cast on his leg was challenging, but the hospital had given him a few bags that were designed to go over and keep his cast dry. Mom rigged a step stool in the shower and I told her I’d get her a medical chair that would be more stable. I knew there was a medical supply shop about an hour away, I’d get it tomorrow. Dad hobbled with a crutch which I knew was not going to be good for his strained back, but he insisted and I wasn’t going to fight him on this right now. We got him tucked in to bed early, he was exhausted.

“When is Norman coming home?” Mom sat at the kitchen table with me and two cups of tea.

I opened a package of cookies for us. “He gets in Sunday night.” He hadn’t been gone long but I was missing him so much this time. “He offered to skip his fan thing and come home early but I told him to stay on the road.”

“Still can’t believe my little girl is dating a celebrity.” I couldn’t believe it either. “He just don’t seem like a famous person sometimes.”

I laughed, she was right. He didn’t remind me of the images I had of celebrities most days. “Maybe because he comes home from work looking like a serial killer most of the time.” He was always coming home dirty and disheveled.

“Maybe because he calls his girlfriend’s parents and offers to pay for a nurse to come in every day.” She looked up at me.

I just smiled. “That’s my Norman. Always making sure everyone else is taken care of.” I wasn’t surprised by the gesture. He knew my folks were pretty simple people who didn’t ask for much help and wouldn’t pay for it either.

By the time I got home I was exhausted. It had been a long day and I was ready to crawl into bed. Norman had texted earlier checking on me and told me he was going out with some of his killed off cast mates for drinks. I texted back, ‘thanks for taking care of my folks. Love you. Have fun, talk tomorrow.’ He texted by a string of X’s and O’s.

Eye and I curled up in bed, he slept in Norman’s spot and I was asleep before he started snoring.

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The smell of massage oil filled the air, candles lit all around and instead of my massage table there was a large comfy bed in the middle of the room. Jason was lying face down. I knew it was Jason, his tattoos were telling but so was he really cute ass. Not that I had ever seen it before, but I was certain that this is what he would look like fully naked. He rested his cheek on his arm and waited for me to join in. I crawled up on the bed in my work pants and shirt, a bottle of oil in my hand. I straddled his body, just below his butt and I let the oil drizzle out of the bottle and on to his back. I began to trace the dark lines of his tattoo and they were emphasized when the oil slicked along his skin. I rubbed deep into his muscles and he moaned out, not a moan of relaxing muscles, this was a sexy moan.

I pulled my shirt up over my head and now I was straddling him topless, my breasts hanging free and my nipples hard. I leaned forward and rubbed my breasts on his skin, used my body to massage his and he encouraged it, pushed up into me and his flesh felt good against mine. “Lower.” His southern drawl begging me to work my tits lower down his body. I did, massaging down his lower back then to his cute ass. I let my hands draw along him, feeling him in ways I never had before. The smooth jazz music filled my ears as I explored this body beneath me. Finally I got off of him and told him to turn over.

As he rolled to one side I stepped out of my pants, now we were both naked and he crooked his finger, summoning me to him and I moved back on to the bed. The kiss was electric, he tongue in my mouth as I wrapped my arms around his body. He pulled me close and I felt heat flood every inch of me. I laid on top of him, his cock pressed against my stomach. I needed more, I rubbed against him, practically humping him. He smiled, his stare locked on to me than we kissed has he rolled us, he was on top of me now and he spread my legs wide. I hooked my leg over his thigh and let him find his way inside of me. He filled me, pushing slowly in that way that Jason had of doing things slowly. I held back from pushing up onto him, the anticipation of being entirely filled was its own excitement. He finally buried himself as deep as he could and my body shook.

Jason fucked me hard and I gripped him tight has he brought me closer and closer to an orgasm that eventually ripped through me. I felt like I was hanging on for my life as he pounded me into the bed. It was satisfying and when he was done he half rolled off me before he collapsed.

I woke in a sweat.

My body shaking, my pussy throbbing. It had felt so real, the dream had been vivid, living color kind of vivid. And as I lie awake trying to shake the image out of my head I realized that I had actually cum in my sleep. The dream had caused me to orgasm.

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I hadn’t slept much after that, I was almost afraid to close my eye and find Jason there again. What the hell was wrong with me? I was crying, uncontrollably at one point. I had felt like I had cheated on Norman. Cheated on us. I was talking to myself, words out loud telling me that it was just a dream, that I hadn’t done anything wrong. But I felt guilty. I wanted to call Norman and apologize but there was nothing to apologize for and it was the middle of the night. He was asleep in Texas while I was wide awake in Georgia.

When the sun came up I was feeling better. I had busy day ahead of me, Mandy and I were going to pick up a shower chair for my dad then visit with my folks, she hadn’t seen them in a while and I was sure mom was going to spoil her with her favorite foods.

‘Over slept running late. Call later??’ I nodded at Norman’s text. He must have had a good time with the guys last night. I was sure Clark was banging on his hotel room door to get him down to his crowd of waiting fans. I texted back and let him know that I’d be around whenever he wanted to talk.

I got ready for my day out and Mandy showed up just a few minutes late, which for her was on time. “You look like crap.” She was right, I hadn’t gotten much sleep after the dream. We were off and running and she was filling me in on her and her beau. It was nice to hear about something that didn’t have to do with me and by lunch time, I felt like I had shaken off the whole dream and was back to my old self.

On the ride home Mandy finally ask, “So what’s going on, you’ve been off all day?” She was right, I wasn’t really focused at my parents’ house or after I talked with Norman this afternoon. “Is everything okay?”

I wasn’t sure what to tell her, “There’s nothing… wrong. I’m just.” I was at a loss for words.

“Is everything alright with you and Norman?” She was genuinely concerned.

I nodded. “Oh yeah, it’s fine. I just, I had this dream last night about one of my clients.” I didn’t say anything else, and I wasn’t going to tell her about our little coffee break. “It was weird is all.”

“What kind of dream. Like a sex dream?” Now she was on the edge of her seat.

I tried not to laugh, it sounded so funny coming out of her mouth. “Yeah. It was really, graphic.” To say the least.

She was quiet for a minute then spoke, “Is it one of the hot ones? It was a guy right?”

Mandy had no idea of how my sex life had changed since I met Norman. Now a days my fantasies could easily consists of me, Norman, another woman or a man, sex in public and on an airplane. “He’s not bad looking.” I didn’t say anything else.

“Well no big deal, it’s just a dream. Right?” She sounded a little concerned.

She was right, it really wasn’t a big deal, but for some reason it was bothering me. “No, big deal. It’s just weird is all.” It felt better to tell someone.

Chapter Text

Norman got home Sunday evening, a little past dinner but I had kept it warm for him. He told me not to bother meeting him at the airport since he’d most likely sleep all the way home. I had made pot roast. It was one of those nice fall days where I had just wanted to stay in and cook. Mom and dad were doing well and I had gotten a few things done around the house now that it felt like things had settled down.

He told me all about his week, I had caught some of the TV press things he had done but not all of them and he told me what a great time he had on both of his big talk show events. After all this time he still appreciated every bit of it. He had brought home a handful of gifts that fans had given him in Austin and we added the drawings to the art pile. I was always impressed at how much talent folk had and how much they really did love him and his character. We talked about my parents but he was tired, really tied. I could tell he was ready to go to bed early.

I dragged him down the hallway and into the bedroom. “Come one baby. You need some sleep.” He flicked off lights along the way.

Norman pouted like a little kid, “I’m not tired.” He was lying to both of us. He pulled me close and kissed me. “I wanna make love to you.” We had been apart for too many days and I was on fire for him. We stood kissing while he started to undress me. He fumbled with my bra which told me he really was tired, but I could appreciate him pushing through the exhaustion for sex.

“How about you lay down and I ride you for a while.” I pushed his shirt over his head and kissed his chest. From the indent at his collar bone to the tattoo on his chest. I licked and kissed savoring the taste of his flesh that I had miss so much. He was nodding, he like that idea. “You just get naked for me,” I started at his pants. “And I will make you feel good. I’ll do all the work.” I felt like I owed him that after the dream I had.

We both got naked and he climbed into bed, “Come here baby, sit right here.” He was stroking himself. “Make us both feel good.” I watched him stroke for a while, he tried to put on a little show, tried to make jerking off look sexy but he was exhausted. I finally climbed onto the bed and my mouth took over the stroking. He felt good in my mouth and though it had been less than a week since we had done this, it felt like longer. He started with his fingers wrapped in my hair, exhaling as he enjoyed it, then he let go and leaned deeper into the bed, letting his body melt. I loved making him feel this way. When he was good and hard and I couldn’t take it any longer, I moved to straddle his body and I slid myself onto him. He helped guide me and once I was fully seated I leaned forward and we kissed. It had felt like too long since we had been together like this.

I made love to him as he fought his exhaustion. “MMmm, baby, just let me do it all, let me make you feel so good.” He laced his fingers in mine with one hand and gripped my hip with the other. His thumb digging into my “N” tattoo as he held me tight and helped move me up and down on him. It was slow and deep, all of it. He let me do all the work which I enjoyed immensely and I worked to please him. He seemed mesmerized by the sway of my breasts which I played with on occasion because he seemed to enjoy it but mostly because it felt good. I wanted to hear him moan, and when he did, I wanted to hear more of it. I came first, which didn’t surprise me considering how worked up I had been these past days. Orgasms came quickly for me when I was this consistently turned on. I didn’t know what had me so fired up lately but I was ecstatic for the release. I rode him hard through my orgasm and he came during my aftershocks.

I can’t explain what came over me but I was suddenly in tears when we were done.

Norman’s exhaustion seemed to disappear as my tears began to flow, he went from tired and satisfied to scared and concerned. He never liked it when I cried and it completely freaked him out if it happened during sex. “What’s wrong Holly?” He pulled me to him, wrapping his body around me while he was still buried deep. Kissing my hair he asked again waiting for me to calm or answer.

I sniffed and worked to slow my tears. “I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure that was true. “It’s just been a rough week.” I didn’t want him to feel badly about being gone these past days. It would have been a difficult week even if he had been around. I nuzzled my nose to his neck and he put up with the fact that I was dangerously close to snotting on him. “It just…. that….”

“You said your dad’s fine.” We had talked over dinner.

I nodded.

“Work? Your mom? Me being gone?” He was listing off things that might have triggered this but it wasn’t any of that. He was stroking his hand down my back. “What’s wrong baby?” His voice was sad. He hated not knowing how to help and fix things.

I tried to stifle my tears and compose myself as I lay in his arms and felt him hold me close. I knew that all he had wanted to do was come home, get laid and pass out. I had screwed that up for him. My stomach was in knots and my brain was spinning out of control. I tried to pin point what was really causing this flood of emotion. When it hit me, it took my breath away and once I caught my breath it all spilled from me.

“I love you so much Norman…. I love you and I had coffee with someone. I’m sorry…” I was gasping for breath as he held me. It was better this way, I couldn’t look at him. I felt terrible and guilty. “It just happened… and… god I love you so much.” I think it was the love making tonight that triggered this reaction, I had felt so connected even though he had been tired. “I’m…so sorry.”

We were quiet. His hand had stopped rubbing my back and I held back more tears as I listened to the silence that seemed to be so loud it echoed in my ears.

For a moment I thought maybe he had fallen asleep but that wasn’t the case. He cleared his throat, “Like a date?” His tone was flat.

NO! I wanted to scream it but the word was stuck in my throat. I shook my head against him, he was still holding me tight. I took a breath. “No. I just… I ran into him at the coffee shop and he bought me a tea. We sat and … talked.” My voice was finally calmer. “It wasn’t a date.” The word ‘date’ just felt dirty in my mouth.

Again he was still and quiet. It was unusual for him, for both of us. Norman kissed my hair and then slid his hand off my back and began to roll me off of him. I finally looked at his face in the dim moon lit room, my eyes fixed on his. I hated when I couldn’t read his expressions and this was one of those times.

He looked at me as he pulled the blanket onto both of us. “So you had tea with someone you ran into that you know. Right?”

I nodded.

“And it wasn’t a date.”

I nodded again, trying to take a deep breath but still finding it a little hard to breathe.

Norman was fact finding, “Ex boyfriend?”

I shook my head. “No. A client. My early guy.” I wasn’t sure if I had ever told Norman his name.

Norman half smiled as he touched his beard then my cheek. His voice was firm but soothing in some way. “D’I have anything to worry about Holly?” The question threw me, this was Norman-fucking-Reedus, he could have any woman he wanted at any time, but he chose to be with me. I was the one who worried about our relationship. It never occurred to me that he would think this way.

I touched his hand, “No Norman, no. I just. It felt wrong not tellin’ you.” That was true. It had been looming over me, how Jason and I had chatted. Thought I felt nothing for him, it had just felt wrong.

Norman nodded, he was thinking and I wasn’t sure what was going through his head. “Ok. Let’s get some sleep.” He looked tired. His titanium eye hid his exhaustion on one side but the rest of his face was tired. “I love you Holly.” He kissed me quickly. I felt like there was more to be said, I knew I had more I wanted to say even though I wasn’t completely sure what that was. But I agreed. Maybe sleep was what we both needed.

He got up and got us both a bottle of water while I used the ladies room and then we both crawled back into bed. It was good to be here with him, it never felt right sleeping in the bed alone. He pulled me close, wrapped around me, I could feel every muscle in his chest against my back. He kissed my shoulder, “Mine.” I was almost in tears again. Norman fell asleep faster than I did, I listened to him as his breathing evened and his body finally calmed.

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When I woke his side of the bed was empty. I had slept late, the bottle of water from last night was still next to the bed and I drank it down, I was dehydrated.

I got up and pulled on a t-shirt and boxers which ended up being a good thing as Norman was on his lap top Skyping with his son when I walked into the kitchen. I said hello and Norman took my hand just for a moment then I started to make myself a cup of tea and I stopped. Something was off. The tea just put me back in that coffee shop with Jason, I skipped the tea and grabbed some water. I sat in the living room as the guys chatted. It was Monday morning and I needed to get ready for work. I needed to get ready to ready to go and give Jason a massage.

Norman was laughing pretty hard over something they were talking about and I looked over, I loved to see him laugh. I suddenly felt like I was trying to memorize details because they might not be around much longer. Yes, my brain suddenly felt like things were ending. My stomach knotted and I wanted to cry again.

I was staring in his direction when he looked up at me then pointed to the clock. It was getting late and I needed to get ready for work. I smiled and headed to the bathroom. I turned on the water and started to undress when Norman knocked. I opened the door and he joined me. We didn’t speak, there wasn’t anything to say. He finished undressing me and turned me to step in the shower. I washed my hair and put in conditioner then used the fluffy scrubby thing on my skin. When my hair was finally rinsed I turned off the water and opened the shower curtain. Norman was still standing in the bathroom, dressed for the day with his feet bare and his hair a mess. It was so sexy and I drank in the sight as he handed me a towel for my hair and held one open for my body. Wrapping my hair seemed to take more focus than I had then I stepped into him and his towel as he hugged it around me.

“He’s your morning appointment, right?” It was the first thing he had said to me all day.

I looked straight at him, “Yeah.”

I could see Norman’s backside in the mirror as I stood on my tip toes to put my chin on his shoulder. We were hugging.

“Gonna see him today?” He was still hugging me and I was glad.

I was staring at myself is the mirror. I nodded, “Is that okay?”

Norman let go of me and I grabbed the towel so I could wrap it around myself tighter. “Yeah. Of course. You didn’t do anything and even if you did, not my place to tell you what to do.” He shifted so he could lean on the edge of the sink. “You said I don’t have anything to worry about. End of story.” He played with his fingers and cracked his neck. If it had been anyone else it would have seemed like a gesture of nervousness or lying but with him, it was a sign that he was comfortable.

I kissed him. Pressed myself to him and put my mouth to him kissing him deep. “I’m yours. That simple. And yes, you do have a say in this. If you don’t want me to work…. rub this practically naked man for an hour. You have every right to say that.” He kissed me this time.

Norman pulled the towel off my head and wrapped his fingers in my wet hair. “Mine.” He looked deep into my eyes when he said it and it made me feel owned. I nodded.

I got dressed for work while he did a few things on line and he met me at the back door to say goodbye. “I’ll be home before you, I’ll make dinner.” I smiled at him as he spoke. I wasn’t sure if he’d actually cook or order in, but I didn’t care. I turned to hug him as he handed me my keys and he did it again, kissed me, gripping into my hair then gritted out the word “Mine.” This time when he said it he held me by my hip, our tattoo. I felt possessed and it felt good.

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Jason was face down on my table when I walked in, he was in much less pain today which was great and I could tell he was feeling better all around. I adjusted the lighting and the meditation music as I walked around the table and finally stood next to him. I dropped the blanket down his back and began to work oil into his flesh. I did love the way his back tattoo popped in color as I massaged him. I enjoyed working on Jason very much, he wasn’t overly chatty, he didn’t fuss on the table and he was pleasing to the eye. But that was it. I forced my brain to think about it. Evaluate Jason and the dreams I had about him in the past few days. I felt nothing for him, I didn’t let myself twist my thoughts, I just looked honestly at the way I felt about him and knew without a doubt that I felt nothing for this good looking naked man on my table. This realization brought me to a better place. I focused on my job and worked to make him feel even better.

Then it came time for him to flip on the table and I held up the sheet for him to maneuver. Once he was laying on his back it hit me. I had dreamt about him again last night. Not as graphic as the first time but still, there was something that struck me as he rolled over and I knew that he had crept in my brain again. It was a little disheartening.

He asked about my dad and we chatted a little now that he was face up. Diane had finally recovered the end of her belongings over the weekend and he was officially an eligible bachelor again. Though he seemed to think his very southern mama had another agenda for him, she had set him up with two dates already. I didn’t think he’d be on the market for long.

My day was busy, I was able to run over and see my folks for a while mid day between appointments and my dad was feeling much better. He was still going to be hobbling around for a while but mom and I both felt better about things over all.

By the time I got home Norman’s bike was in the driveway, the back door was open and I could smell food. He had decided to cook. It looked like he something in the oven, it was off and staying warm. There were steaks ready for the grill. He had set the table with the colorful dishes and even put a candle out. He pulled out a bottle of red wine, something we normally didn’t drink but enjoyed on occasion. I was suddenly feeling underdressed in my yoga pants and a t-shirt. I headed down the hall and found Norman in the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed with the cat and a script. “Hey, didn’t hear you come in.” He smiled up at me. Everything felt better. “How’s your dad?”

I leaned on the door frame. “He’s good.”

Norman looked delicious. I wanted to run to him, push him down and devour him. I just leaned instead.

“And how’s your friend?” He made air quotes when he said the word friend. I could tell he was curious but mostly just being funny.

Guilt hit me again, I hadn’t been completely honest about things with Norman last night and we had left things unfinished. “Babe. Can we talk?” I pushed the desire to devour him aside.

Norman closed his script and nodded and I joined him sitting on the bed. “You really do like him don’t you?” He didn’t sound angry which I think I could understand, he had Andy.

I grabbed his hands as he was cracking his knuckles. “No. I really don’t.” I was resolved to that fact, with no doubt in my mind. “I’m not into him at all.” I tried to reassure him but I knew my next sentence wasn’t going to help. “But I have been dreaming about him.” That was the part that bothered me the most. Even in the midst of my tear filled confession last night, it was the dreams that upset me the most. “Twice now, no, three times. I’m sorry.”

Norman looked down at our hands then back up at me. “So he’s in your head.” It wasn’t a question, that was a fact and he knew it. “I can’t help what’s in your head Holly.” His tone was getting soft, his voice low. It was almost scary to see the change from when I had walked into the room. “But you’re not into him?” I was still holding his hand and I could him tensing up.

I watched his face as he watched our hands. “No, I’m not into him. I’m yours Norman. Yours.” I felt like I needed to reassure him, but all I did was flip the switch.

He looked up and his eyes had gone dark, he took my face in his hand, “Mine.” He was serious, staking his claim in a way. “Right?” I nodded. My god he was scary and sexy in this moment. I wanted to push him down and fuck him, but not as much as I wanted him to do that to me. “Mine.” This time it was a mumble. He slid his hand into my hair and pulled me close, nose to nose he looked into my eyes. “Mine.” He kissed me, rough and hard, pulling my hair as he did it. I gripped his shirt and waited for him to consume me. I needed it, I needed to be claimed by him, marked as his from the inside out.

Norman pulled me up as he stood, script flying as they cat jumped off the bed. We were standing and kissing, gripping at clothing as we tore them off each other. He pushed down my pants and ripped my panties at the seams, it was animal and hot. I had gotten his shirt off him but he had me naked and bent over the bed before I could get to his pants. “Knees.” It was a command and I obeyed, I knelt on the bed pushing my face to the bedding and sticking my ass up. It’s really all he wanted at that moment and I knew it. He smacked my ass then slid his hand between my legs. If he was checking to see if I was wet, he wouldn’t be disappointed. He slid three fingers in instantly and leaned over me, I felt his belt buckle against my ass as he graveled in my ear. “This is mine.”

“All yours.” I needed him to prove to me that he still wanted to own it. After all the bullshit I had put him through in the twelve hours, I wanted him to claim my body as his property. “You own it.” We had never gone there before, but it was how I felt. I belong to Norman, inside and out, on every level.

He smacked my ass again with his free hand as he fingered me and I cried out. “More.” Something in the sting of his hand on my ass felt right in that moment. He smacked me again, harder his time. The sting made me moan, made me feel something I hadn’t felt before. I was probably playing a dangerous game at this moment, asking for Norman to spank me when he was out of control like this. He could fuck pretty hard when he was this way, get lost in himself without much regard for me. But I needed this, I had never been spanked in my life, but I needed to be at this moment. “Again.” It was breathy but he heard me.

Norman pulled his fingers out of me and grabbed me by my hips, pulling me off the bed. He dragged me over to the chair in the corner of the room, knocking the bag off that was on it and he sat. I stood naked in front of him and he looked at me. “You need me to spank those dreams out of you?” Oh Jesus, even in this out of control place he was in, we were in sync. I nodded. He leaned back and waited for me to lay across his lap.

I had never done this before, I didn’t know what I was doing. I rested my body across his lap and he pulled me into place. He held me with one hand and rubbed my ass with the other. I had no idea what was coming but I braced for the smack. He wasn’t there yet, he was waiting and I didn’t know why. I couldn’t see his face, which may have been for the best. Just as my body relaxed a little I felt his hand come off my ass and back down with a smack. It stung like a bitch but it was good. He did it again, spanking me over and over, one cheek to the other, in the center of my flesh, down to my thighs. His left arm held me in place as he spanked me. It was an experience like no other, I forced myself to think about why we were doing this. I needed Norman to reclaim me, I may have not had interest in Jason, but he had crept into my mind in ways I didn’t want. I knew I needed my body and brain to work together to eradicate the dreams.

I never counted, isn’t that what women did when they were being spanked? I simply tried to keep from falling off him as he caused my skin to burn and my eyes to water again. It wasn’t the pain that did it to me, it was the emotions I was feeling. Tears streaming down my face, my flesh hurting. My heart, the complete surrender of heart that I felt and it was wonderful. He didn’t stop when they tears began, he wasn’t afraid of my crying this time. I didn’t know how we had gotten here, as if our relationship had run off the rails for a while but now it was all coming back together. This act of him lashing out in a sexual way, the pain he was inflicting on me that felt too good to tell him to stop. It all seemed to be fixing what I had fucked up over these past days.

He stopped when his dick was too hard to keep contained. Norman graveled in my ear, “back on your knees Holly, not done.” I nodded and worked off of his body. I didn’t look at him, I didn’t want him to see the tears and change his plan. I stood up and went back to the bed. I got on my knees again and rested my tear stained cheek on the blanket.

Norman unbuckled his belt and let his pants fall to the floor, he stepped his way out of them and came up behind me. He ran his hand on my hot flesh, massaging as he went. He forced my stance wider and he smacked me once more before lining up his cock and rubbing it against my wetness. He was ready and so I was. I moaned out and pushed back against him he was edging in but never penetrating. Finally he pushed more than the tip inside of me and we both groaned out in pleasure. From there it was hard fucking and animal sex. He pounded into me, gripping my hips and keeping me right where he wanted. He used my body and it made me happy.

The word ‘mine’ flashed in my brain, over and over. I knew that no other man could own my heart they way Norman did and no other man belonged in my dreams either. I knew it would be one of those nights where my pleasure didn’t factor in, it was all about his orgasm. If I wanted one, I would have to take care of that myself, but tonight I didn’t care. Just being with him this way was satisfying, being marked by him. I was sure my ass was swollen and red.

Suddenly I felt Norman’s weight on me, gripping my hair and he was talking in my ear. “Cum with me.” He reach around, his muscular forearm holding me close and he tweaked my nipple then moved down to my clit, he started to play. “Do it, I said cum with me.” He fucked deep and I felt him orgasm, which tipped me over the edge. I did as he told me to do, I came with him. I screamed out and writhed in his hold. We collapsed together with him still inside me, sweat covered and panting, I wanted to stay like that forever.

His gripping turned to playing with my hair and he slowly pulled out me. My body felt lost without him, but I hadn’t felt this connected to him in a very long time.

“Mine.” He spoke the word clearly.

I was exhausted, “Yes Norman. Yours.” Every part of me belonged to him. We laid there a while till he finally dozed off and I let myself do the same.

I don’t know how long we were asleep but he woke full of energy. He jumped a three minute shower after he cleaned me up, then he went out to grill dinner while I washed up myself. I met him in the kitchen as he was pulling potatoes and veggies out of the warmish oven. He walked over and hugged me. “You okay?”

It was hard to tell if the question was directed to the physical or the emotional side of me but that was fine, I nodded.

He kissed my hair. “I don’t think I ever want to do that again.” He looked me in the eyes when he said it. The action of spanking me bothered him. It had been so far out of his nature, even in his out of control state.

“Ok.” I wasn’t sure I wanted it again either, but I know that I needed it when it had happened and I was sorry about it.

He turned and went out the grill with an empty plate to get dinner. I filled our wine glasses and sat at the table waiting for him to come back. Though my butt was sore I was fine. We talked about a few things, his work, my family and upcoming season premiere in a week. We talked as if nothing in the past twelve hours had happened and that was fine with me. I finally felt settled again.

We went to bed early cuddled together and we were both asleep quickly. When I woke the next morning, there was no doubt in my mind that the only person I had dreams about were Norman.