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Andrej Pejic and the Cavernous Butthole

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ONCE UPON A TIME IN A MAGICAL KINGDOM THAT FLOATED IN THE CAVERNS OF SOMEONE'S CAVERNOUS BUTTHOLE THERE LIVED A PRETTYPRETTY BUTTPRINCESS NAMED ANDREJ PEJIC

ONE DAY BUTTPRINCESSJIC WAS TWIRLING AROUND IN HIS STRANGELY WRINKLY AND PINK ROOM NOT QUESTIONING A DAMN THING ABOUT HIS LIFE 'CAUSE HE'S A FUCKIN MONG

AND THEN SUDDENLY

SUDDENLY

A BUTTUNICORN FLEW INSIDE! ON IT WAS A LARGE FURRY GIANT WHO WAS NOT A BUTTGIANT OR A DONG. HE WAS SCOTTISH OR SOMETHING. HE WAS LIKE, YER A BUTTWIZARD ANDREJ

AND BUTTPRINCESS ANDREJ WAS LIKE aren't wizards typically male

AND SCOTTISHGIANT WAS LIKE WELL THAT REALLY DEPENDS ON WHAT PANTHEON... SO ANYWAY THEN SCOTTISHGIANT WAS LIKE YOU WANNA COME AWAY WITH ME TO WIZARDSCHOOL

AND BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC WAS LIKE HOLY FUCK REALLY CAN I HANG ON MY GOD JUST LEMME DO MY HURR

AND SCOTTISHGIANT WAS LIKE...REALLY. YOUR HAIR. DO YOU SEE ME I HAVE ENOUGH HAIR ON MY DONG FOR BOTH OF US

AND BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC WAS LIKE DONG? I HAVE NEVER SEEN A DONG

AND SCOTTISHGIANT WAS LIKE WELL I THINK YOU ARE A BIT UNDERAGE BUT YOU ARE A WIZARD NO EITHER WAY DO YOUR HURR BUTTPRINCESS AND COME WITH ME

SO BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC DID HIS HURR

AND THEN HIS MAKEUP

AND THEN HE POLISHED HIS BUTTHOLE AS WAS CUSTOM. USING FLOORCLEANER. APPARENTLY THEY HAVE REALLY STRONG BUTTS AND I GUESS THAT'S WHY BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC IS SO FUCKING RETARDED BECAUSE OF ALL THE CLEANING FLUIDS HE ABSORBS IN HIS BUM

ANYWAY SO THEN THEY FLEW AWAY! ON THE BUTTICORN

BUT SUDDENLY

ahaha i said but

anyway.

BUT SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A BIG FUCKIN. LIKE. FUCKIN THING. IN THE SKY. AS THEY NARROWLY ESCAPED THE NOT NARROW BUTTHOLE BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC LIVED IN. IT WAS A FLYING VAGINA. SWEAR TO GOD. I WAS THERE, I SEENT IT

SCOTTISHGIANT WAS LIKE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NO

AND BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC WAS LIKE OH NO WHATEVER SHALL WE DO OH MY GOODNESS WHAT IS THAT DISGUSTING MONSTROSITY

AND SCOTTISHGIANT WEPT LIKE A FUCKIN LITTLE BITCH AND CRIED OUR ONLY HOPE IS TO...REALLY TRY AND FLY PAST IT ACTUALLY.

BUT THEY COULDN'T! IT ENVELOPED THEM!

LUCKILY, THE DISGUSTINGLY LARGE QUANTITY OF FUCKING *AFRO* ON SCOTTISHGIANT'S DONG WAS LIKE THE HAIR ON THAT ONE SPIDER. YOU KNOW, THAT ONE SPIDER THAT SHOOTS ITS HAIR AT PEOPLE AS A DEFENSE ...GOLIATH BIRD EATIN' SPIDER YEAH THAT. ew.

ANYWAY SO THEN.

SCOTTISHGIANT STABBED HIS TARANTULA DONG THROUGH THE GIANT VAGINA CREATING A MASSIVE BLEEDING HOLE THAT WAS GOING TO KILL IT AND ALSO BE REALLY HARD TO EXPLAIN TO THE NURSES AT THE ER AND THEY FLEW OUT IN A SEA OF...VAGINAL BLOOD...

WHICH WAS REALLY NOTHING BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC HADN'T EXPERIENCED BEFORE.

AND AS THE VAGINA FELL TO THE FAR BELOW GROUND SCREAMING IN AGONY, BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC WAS LIKE SCOTTISHGIANT! IS THAT A DONG? I THINK YOU SHOULD PUT IT IN MY BUTTHOLE! I JUST POLISHED IT!

AND SCOTTISHGIANT WAS LIKE ...IT HAS TARANTULA HAIR.

AND BUTTPRINCESS WAS LIKE WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK I AM INTO TARANTULAS. I DESIRE TO FUCK A TARANTULA.

AND SO SCOTTISHGIANT STUCK HIS GIANT TARANTULADONG INTO BUTTPRINCESS PEJIC'S POLISHED BUTTHOLE

AND THEY FLEW HAPPILY OFF TO WIZARDSCHOOL, COVERED IN VAGINAL BLOOD, SENTIENT SEMEN, AND FLOOR POLISH, AND IT DIDN'T BOTHER PEJIC FOR NINETEEN YEARS AND ALL WAS WELL

THE END.