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“Hello?”
“Casey?”
“Zeke?”
“Yeah. Uh, can you do me a favor?”
“Sure.”
“Get Stokely and come over here. We’ve got a… problem.”
“A problem?” Casey swallowed slowly. “Like, an aliens-taking-over-the-world problem?”
“Worse,” Zeke groaned. “Much worse.”
“We’ll be right there.”
~~~~~~~
As soon as Zeke opened the door, Stokely burst out laughing. Casey’s jaw dropped halfway to the floor.
“Uh, Zeke? Are those…”
“Wings,” he said bitterly. “Freaking wings. I’ve got feathers growing out of my back.”
Casey winced. “And your hair’s kind of… pink.”
“What?” Zeke skittered into the side hallway. Casey noted that Zeke’s feet weren’t totally touching the ground. It was strangely disturbing.
“Fuck! My hair’s pink!”
Stokely still hadn’t stopped laughing.
~~~~~~
“Here.”
Zeke looked down at the pen of scat Casey was holding out. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
Casey shook his head solemnly. “Not taking any chances.”
~~~~~~
“Achoo!” Casey stubbornly wiped at his nose and glared at Zeke. “Could you fucking stop with the fairy dust?”
Zeke grinned back at him and shook his head furiously back and forth, sending huge clouds of sparkling purple dust all over the room. “Nope.”
Casey sneezed again.
“You have no one to blame but yourself,” Stokely said mildly. “You’re the one who gave the fairy scat and got him flying a little too high.”
“I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t aliens!”
“He’s a fairy, not an alien!”
“Well – ”
There was a loud crashing noise and their argument was abruptly cut off.
“Zeke? What are you doing in there?”
“Guys! Come give me some fucking help here!”
Stokely and Casey ran from the living room to the dining room. Stokely abruptly burst into giggles again.
“Sure, sure,” Zeke said sourly. “Laugh at the poor fairy who’s stuck in the chandelier.”
~~~~~~~
An hour later, when they had found a ladder and disentangled Zeke’s wings from the offensive light fixture, they sat him down on the couch with a couple of books in his lap to keep him from floating off again.
“So, um, what are we going to do?” Casey finally asked.
Stokely shrugged. “How should I know? Aliens, remember? Not fairies.”
“Well, we have to do something!” Zeke screeched. “I have wings, my hair is pink, and I’m fucking flying!”
“Should we call an exorcist?”
“Maybe.” Stokely reached over and pulled on one of Zeke’s feathers.
“Hey!”
“Damn. Definitely attached.”
~~~~~~
“Well, what fairies are there?”
“Pinocchio. Peter Pan…”
“Maybe if we keep saying “There’s no such thing as fairies”? Casey suggested.
Zeke squeaked. “That made them drop dead, Casey!”
“Oh. Right.”
~~~~~~
“Zeke, are you getting shorter?”
Casey was looking down at Zeke. Looking down at him.
“Oh fuck.”
~~~~~~
“Stokely…”
“Yeah?”
“If I get a strange compulsion to wear tights, stop me.”
Stokely shuddered. “Oh, believe me, I will.”
~~~~~~
“Maybe you’ll just have to live your life out as a fairy.”
“How about no?”
~~~~~~
“Zeke, you’re only like… three feet tall.”
“And my hair is pink, and I’m flying,” he snapped. “Now help me turn the fuck back!”
~~~~~~
“Maybe you need your true love to kiss you.”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, it worked for Snow White, and the Beast, and the Little Mermaid, and Rapunzel…”
“Okay, I get it.”
“It worked for the frog prince too.”
“I said I get it!” Zeke hovered over the couch, sulking.
Stokely and Casey rolled their eyes. “Look, Zeke…” Stokely started.
Swooping down in yet another cloud of purple dust, Zeke placed one sparkly nailed hand on either side of Casey’s face, and kissed him.
There was a loud crashing sound, a puff of smoke, and Zeke was lying down in the middle of the living room. Normal height, no pink hair, and no more wings.
“Oh thank God,” he breathed.
Casey was still sitting on the couch, completely shocked, when Stokely burst out laughing.
“Zeke was a fairy fairy!”
“Shut up!”