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Pinch Hitter

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The first thing Gerard did after coming off stage was get Frank off.

Despite his exhibitionist streak, Gerard actually wasn’t a huge fan of public or semi-public sex, mostly because he was always afraid someone would interrupt when he was about to come. He hated that. But by the end of a show Frank, feverish and twitchy at the best of times the last couple of weeks, was pretty much clawing at his own face in frustration, so Gerard grabbed the back of his shirt, manhandled him into the nearest space-with-a-door, and yanked his pants open.

“Yeah,” Frank sighed, immediately going all melty and grateful in Gerard’s arms. Gerard dug the emergency lube out of his pocket and slicked his hand before touching Frank. His dick was heavy and so hard and he came like three strokes in, which was fucking hot no matter how many times it happened, and if Gerard’s own dick hadn’t still been fucking sore from the time before they went on stage, and when they were on the bus, and the two times that morning, he would have been encouraging Frank to return the favor.

As it was, he just looked around for something to wipe his hand on, and when there wasn’t anything, settled for the inside of Frank’s shirt. Frank didn’t even bitch about it, which showed how far gone he was, lolling against the wall and peeking up at Gerard from under his lids. He half-smiled. “Sick of me yet?”

“Fuck off.”

Frank laughed and started buttoning himself back up.

They split up when they got backstage; Gerard wanted to hang and watch some of Linkin Park’s set. He didn’t notice Frank again until Ray nudged his elbow. “Who’s Frankie’s new friend?”

Gerard looked behind him and saw Frank chatting up some dude. Tall, dark hair. Freckles. Gorgeous. Amazing belt buckle, which Gerard only noticed because Frank had his fucking fingers tucked underneath it.

“Jesus,” Gerard moaned. “Don’t people know to come find me when Frank starts hitting on them?”

“He doesn’t seem to mind,” Ray observed. He took a swig of water and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. “I don’t recognize him.”

Gerard rolled his shoulders and tipped his head back, letting his neck stretch out until it burned. “All right,” he groaned, and went over there.

“Gee,” Frank said happily, turning towards him. He didn’t take his fingers back, though. “This is Adam.”

Gerard nodded. Adam said, “Good to meet you,” like Frank wasn’t giving him half a handjob right there and then. “Awesome show, man.”

“Thanks,” Gerard said. He looked at Frank, who pressed closer and did that thing with his eyebrows. Gerard said, “I don’t know.”

Frank made a noise and rubbed his nose under Gerard’s ear. There was no denying Adam looked like a good fucking time, and it wasn’t like they’d never taken somebody home before. But they’d never done it when Frank was like this, when he couldn’t help himself. Gerard felt like he should keep him safe from strangers, that he should protect him. He knew that made Frank want to punch him in the crotch.

Adam was watching him. “No offence taken,” he said lightly, reaching down to pull Frank’s hand free. Frank squirmed and fought him, breathing hot against Gerard’s neck.

“It’s not that,” Gerard said quickly. “It’s just that we don’t fuck fans.”

Adam smirked. “Afraid of blind items?”

Gerard rolled his eyes. “Hardly. It’s exploitative.”

Adam shrugged one shoulder. “If it makes you feel better, I’m actually here tonight because I know Matt.”

"Cortez?" It shouldn’t have made a difference. So Adam knew someone they worked with, whatever. But it did, for some reason. Besides, Gerard thought, looking him up and down in a way he knew wasn’t subtle at all, he wasn't a kid.

Adam grinned.

They had a room, at least. Gerard told Adam to meet them there, so he and Frank could hang out for a while first. Frank seemed to be doing pretty okay; Gerard only had to get him off once in the shower, and then Frank made a couple of calls, none of which Gerard had to end forcibly to avoid non-consensual phone sex happening to innocent people. Gerard kept one eye and both ears on him, though, and Frank had rolled onto the bed and started trying to wriggle in between Gerard and his laptop by the time there was a knock on the door.

Gerard opened it and Adam waited for him to step back before entering the room. Frank pretty much lit up like a fucking Christmas tree, stood up, and pulled Adam in hard, getting straight down to it.

Adam kissed dirty, bracketing Frank’s face in his hands, gripping his jaw and tipping his head back so he could slide his tongue into Frank’s open mouth, wet and slow. Frank just took it, his hands flexed on Adam’s shoulders, his mouth open, pink and shiny where Adam sucked slowly on his lower lip. When he pushed his hands into Frank’s hair (it was getting so long now, Gerard loved it) Frank groaned and opened up even further, so that Gerard could see everything, see Adam pressing his tongue against Frank’s, stroking, see Frank’s eyes roll under the closed lids, see the ripple in his throat when he breathed, heavy and damp.

Frank was starting to writhe in place, like it was getting bad again, like it was starting to hurt. Adam murmured, “I know, baby, I know,” which was annoying because he didn’t know, Gerard thought crossly. Adam met his eyes and smiled. “Do you play? Or do you just stand around looking angry and tapping your foot, because I gotta tell you, it’s super distracting.”

Frank chuckled quietly, muffled, his mouth on Adam’s throat now. His hands were already under Adam’s shirt. Gerard went over and pressed up behind him, fitting his hands around Frank’s hips and laying a firm kiss on the back of his neck before stretching up to Adam.

Gerard kissed dirty too; Adam wouldn’t give it up, though, he just kept pushing his tongue into Gerard’s mouth and his breath caught when Gerard retaliated by biting down hard on his lip. Frank was kind of murmuring to himself, watching, his hands coming back to clutch at Gerard’s hip and thigh as he rubbed himself between them.

“You’re both so pretty,” Adam said, dropping his head to lick up the side of Frank’s throat. “And little. I love it.”

“Fuck you,” said Frank, gravelly and a little slurred, but lucid. Adam blinked in surprise and Gerard laughed quietly against Frank’s hair. “Fucking freak show, what are you, like nine feet tall?”

“Short and sassy,” Adam lisped, pushing his hands between Frank and Gerard. “Even better.”

He groped Frank’s ass, squeezing; his hands were big and his knuckles pushed against Gerard’s dick through his pants. Gerard hissed; it felt good, sort of, but wearing clothes didn’t. Frank was the same, Gerard could tell: he was barely wearing clothes anyway, just this giant, soft T-shirt and a pair of blue sweatpants which were incredibly ugly but incredibly easy to get off, silver lining.

Frank was naked within like two seconds once Gerard lifted the hem of his shirt. Adam didn’t take long to follow, and Gerard looked him up and down appreciatively. Freckles all over, then, plus he was hung like a fucking horse. Gerard had no complaints about the size of his own dick, so he wasn’t jealous of the way Frank fell immediately and gleefully to his knees. Mostly he was just amused. And turned on.

It was week three of Frank’s whole weird summer thing, though, and Gerard was kind of over it by this point. There were only so many erections he could have in a day, all right, he was happy to do whatever Frank needed but mostly he tried to keep himself out of it, so to speak. He had to save himself for when nothing but getting fucked would do it for Frank. He took his clothes off because they were annoying, but then stretched out on his front on the bed, propping his chin on his folded arms to watch.

Adam had his hands in Frank’s hair and was holding – no, he was guiding Frank, easing him down onto Adam’s cock and then letting him pull back, but just a little, not all the way. He was watching Frank carefully but he wasn’t being gentle; Gerard could see how tightly Frank’s hair was wound around his fingers. Frank was clinging to his hips and moaning, sucking like he was starving for it, not fighting Adam at all. It was a little weird to watch someone else steering Frank’s head like that. It was hot though.

Gerard wondered if Adam could see it on his face – but Adam wasn’t looking at him, he was totally focused on Frank, now, working his hips in tight little circles and pulling Frank down further each time. He looked serious, frowning almost, and when Frank made a noise and went to pull back Adam said firmly, “Yes you can, come on,” and just pushed forward until Frank was all the way down on his cock, his throat working and his eyes tight shut.

Frank seemed to be enjoying himself, anyway, he was hard and he was making helpless, blissful noises around Adam’s cock.

“Back up, baby,” Adam said to Frank, then, raising an eyebrow and pulling firmly on Frank’s hair when Frank made a noise of protest. “You don’t want me to come before I fuck you, do you?”

Frank pulled off immediately, gasping, his mouth red and wet and bruised-looking. He looked up at Adam for a second, then scrambled up and wobbled over to the bed, where he pushed clumsily at Gerard until he rolled up onto his side and let Frank burrow up against him. Gerard found his mouth and kissed him for a while, nice and deep, tasting Adam on his tongue. He felt the bed dip when Adam climbed on behind Frank.

"You guys have rules?" Adam said, running his hand down Frank's side. Frank purred and pushed back against him. Adam bent his head and kissed Frank's neck.

Well, that was the question, wasn't it? The accepted joke amongst the band about Frank's secret Vulcan heritage really only registered with a very tiny percentage of the population (the best percentage, obviously) and Frank really hated all the more mundane terms for his, uh, condition. On the other hand Gerard didn't want Adam to think Gerard made a habit of slipping his boyfriend Spanish Fly, so he went with, "He might not be able to tell you to stop, so just listen to me, okay?"

"Okay," said Adam easily. He sucked on Frank's earlobe for a minute, making Frank squirm. Then he said, "I have a friend who gets like this. Every summer, right?"

Gerard blinked, because he wasn't expecting that. They'd assumed that Frank probably wasn't a complete freak of nature, and that there must be other people in the same situation, but Frank wasn't in favor of actually asking a medical professional about it, and so far Googling had just brought up a lot of porn. "Uh," he said, because Adam was still looking at him expectantly. "Yeah. Like clockwork."

Adam nodded. "I'll be careful," he said, then threw Gerard a wicked little smile. "I guess you could probably use a break, huh."

Gerard passed over the lube and condoms, hesitated, then said, "This isn't a stunt dick thing."

Adam raised an eyebrow. "Okay?"

"Okay," said Gerard. "I'm just saying. I could take care of this myself."

"I'm sure you're more than capable," said Adam in a soothing voice. "Look, if this is weirding you out, that's cool. Sometimes a guest star only seems like a good idea."

"It's a great idea!" Gerard said, and decided not to explain any further despite the fact that Adam clearly thought he was a crazy person. He ducked back down to give Frank some attention while Adam was suiting up. "You want Adam to fuck you, Frankie?" he asked, because it was always polite to make sure.

"Oh my God, one of you put your dick in me already," said Frank impatiently, and then Gerard saw Adam's arm move and Frank sucked in a breath and stuttered, "Or – or fingers work, yeah. Fuck."

Gerard pushed up on his elbow so he could see; Adam had two fingers in Frank. "That's good," Gerard said, stroking his own hand down Frank's arm. "That's good, I like to start with two."

"Oh, it's like that," said Adam, smiling, and it was, so Gerard didn't bother to correct him. Adam did seem like he'd been here before; careful fingers, fifteen fucking tons of lube, firm hand on Frank's hip so he couldn't push back too fast and hurt himself.

Frank was all too aware of it, too, clutching at Gerard's shoulders, mouth hot and wet on his throat. "Fuck," he said, his nails digging in and scratching. "Now, Gerard, tell him."

Gerard hummed and reached over Frank; he got his hand slick and wrapped around Adam's cock and stroked him a few times, watching Adam's face over Frank's shoulder. "Not yet, baby, he's too big."

"Gerard," Frank gritted out while Adam laughed behind him, breathless and a little smug.

Gerard squeezed, hard enough to make Adam's breath catch, and said, "Give him three."

Adam did, and he went deep at first but then pulled back and played a bit, which would have been fine normally, but as it was it made Frank whine sharply and writhe in place, and Gerard maybe snapped a little when he said, "Don't tease him," but whatever, Adam just raised an eyebrow and went with it.

Ten seconds later Frank lost patience with both of them and got very deliberately onto his hands and knees. Adam didn't wait for Gerard's say so, just kneeled up and grabbed Frank and shoved into him, and Frank made that noise, that desperate, grateful noise that sounded like he had to drag it all the way up from his toes, and Adam held him firmly and started fucking him.

"Oh my fucking God," Frank spat, his hands fisted in the sheets. "Jesus fucking Christ."

Gerard laughed and pushed Frank's hair out of his face. "I take it that's a good thing?"

"It better be," Adam said breathlessly, and hauled Frank up onto his knees, to lean back against Adam's body.

Frank made a noise, not a word, not even close, and Adam fucked him harder, and when he brought his hand down to Frank's cock Frank came like, right away.

"All right," said Adam, breathing hard. "Now we can relax a little."

"This was an amazing idea," said Frank, and hummed dreamily to himself while Adam got him turned around and down on his back. He pushed Frank's legs up and kneeled in between them, then lifted Frank's hips into his lap, down onto his cock. Frank said, "Oh, yeah," and stretched out his arms, one hand under the pillows, the other reaching for Gerard.

Gerard caught his hand and held on tight; he was right, it was an amazing idea. This way Gerard got to lie around and watch Frank get fucked by someone hot, which was his favorite thing about threesomes anyway, and he also didn't have to feel guilty that he wasn't tending to Frank's needs, or whatever. It was great.

He slid closer so he could press up against Frank's side and use his free hand to slide down over his chest and belly. Then lower, to feel where Adam was rocking in and out of him, easy rhythm, everything under his fingers tight and slick.

"He feels good, right?" he asked Adam.

Adam flashed him a grin. "Feels fucking amazing."

"Yeah," said Gerard, and leaned in to kiss Frank, swallowing down all those needy little noises that kept spilling out of his mouth. He trailed his hand back down, pressed Frank's cock against his belly and let it slide up against his palm. Adam was really good, rolling Frank up in these deliberate, even thrusts, barely even a catch in his breath, like he could go forever. Maybe he could.

Frank was in heaven, moaning around Gerard's tongue, all spread out on the bed. Gerard didn't need to stroke him or even really hold him tight, just let Adam's movements rock Frank up against his hand, until Frank's sounds started getting all tight in his throat again.

"He's close," Gerard said to Adam. "If you can give him three, he'll pretty much be yours forever."

"Yes sir," said Adam, and kept fucking Frank like that, steady and hard as Gerard touched him, until Frank came with a stuttered cry and a painful-looking arch of his spine. "Shit," said Adam, and pulled out, sitting back on his heels and breathing heavily.

"Don't stop, motherfucker!" said Frank, completely outraged, and then looked even more annoyed when Adam started laughing. "Gerard! Tell him!"

"Give him a second, oh my God," said Gerard, because he knew exactly what Adam was going through, how it felt to have Frank coming around you and not be able to follow him over the edge. He slipped his hand down and pushed his fingers into Frank, just to tide him over. Frank grumbled a little bit, but stopped bitching at Adam, at least, just rolled his head on the pillow and let his eyes drift shut.

"Is he going to yell at me if I try to slow it down?" said Adam, more amused than genuinely curious.

Gerard smirked at him. "It's not how fast you are, it's what you do with it that counts."

"The only people who say that," Adam said, moving some pillows around and turning Frank over on his side to face Gerard, "are dudes who aren't very fast at all."

Gerard just grinned. "I wouldn't know."

"So I can see," said Adam with a pointed glance, and then Gerard felt Adam's fingers against his own, pushing up into Frank, slick with more lube.

Frank mewled happily and writhed around a little, back and forth between them.

"Okay," said Adam, and Gerard took his fingers back. "Let's see if this works for you."

He did take it slow, really fucking slow, which Gerard was impressed by despite himself because he would have had Frank folded in two and halfway through the mattress by now. It didn't look easy either, Adam's forehead was creased deeply and he kept his eyes closed the whole time, pressing his face against the back of Frank's neck.

Frank gathered Gerard in to him so they were all tangled up, limbs and hands everywhere, and Gerard fumbled for the lube so he could get them both slick and let Frank push up against him, gentle presses rather than thrusts. Frank tangled his fingers in Gerard's hair and held him close, not that Gerard was going anywhere. He was almost – he could have been convinced, maybe, to get involved himself. Adam was really hot and Frank was so – when he was like this, Gerard felt bad for thinking it but he was so fucking irresistible, so eager and pliable and down. It seemed like it would be rude to change his mind now, though, when Adam had already been so patient.

It always took longer, the third time, and Adam was actually whimpering by the end of it, holding on so tight Gerard could practically hear his teeth grinding. Gerard said, "He's almost there, baby, just hang on," and Adam groaned, rolling his forehead against Frank's shoulder.

Frank made a hiccupping noise and his hips stalled, and he shook all over and made a hurt sound when he came, and Gerard moved back so Adam could roll Frank on to his front and fuck him hard and fast until he came with a shout and collapsed down on top of him.

"Nice work, man," said Gerard.

"Mmmmrph," said Adam.

Frank was asleep by the time Adam pulled out. He didn't even wake up when Adam brought washcloths back from the bathroom and Gerard took one and cleaned Frank up with it.

“So, Adam?" he said when he was done. "What do you do when you’re not having threesomes?”

“I’m a singer,” Adam said, and laughed when Gerard raised an eyebrow. “I’m not going to try to slip you my demo, okay. I work in musical theatre, mostly.”

“That’s so cool,” Gerard enthused. “I always wanted to be in a musical.”

“Uh huh.”

“It’s true! I rocked Peter Pan once when I was in school.”

Adam laughed and shook his head. “It is pretty awesome. I mean, I love the people, and I love the shows. But...I don’t know. I feel like there's more? Sometimes I mess around with making my own music. But I don’t really play anything.”

“Me neither,” said Gerard. Frank shifted between them, and Gerard brushed his lips against the top of his head. “I just hoodwink these guys into doing it for me.”

Adam rolled up onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. He tapped his finger right over the scorpion under Frank’s ear. “He a Scorpio?”

“Uh huh.”

“And you’re...what, Leo?”


“Holy shit,” Adam laughed. “You guys must have some epic fucking fights.”

Gerard wanted to deny it, because astrology was such total bullshit, but he also didn’t really have a reason to lie. It was true; more often than not, their fights devolved into screaming and throwing things. They blew over fast, though. “I guess.”

“And some epic make-up fucking too, I bet,” Adam said slyly, cutting his eyes sideways at Gerard. Gerard rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help smiling. Adam laughed again. “Yeah, you do.”

"Well," said Gerard. "Let's just say the first time this happened while we were together, it took a while for me to notice."

Adam whooped and held his hand out for Gerard to slap. "You're a lucky dude."

"I really am," said Gerard, and he really tried, he did, but he couldn't help looking down at Frank, and he could feel his smile go all sappy and gooey on his face.

"All right," said Adam, and he sat up and shifted Frank over a little on the bed, so there was room for Adam to climb over and lie down next to Gerard instead. He reached down and wrapped his hand around Gerard's dick, squeezing slightly, taking him from half-hard to mostly all the way there. Gerard bit his lip. Adam said, "You're sure I can't help you with this?"

"I told you-"

"I know," said Adam, leaning in to kiss him quickly. "What can I say? You're in love. It gets me hot."

He gave Gerard a firm, warm stroke, and Gerard pushed into it despite himself. "It's just that I should really save it for the morning," he said breathlessly. "He can be kind of crazed when he wakes up."

Adam kind of shrugged one shoulder and looked up at Gerard through his lashes.

"Unless," said Gerard, letting himself press a little closer, "unless you want to stay the night?"

"Sounds good to me," Adam grinned, and rolled Gerard onto his back. "Besides," he said, scooting down to kiss Gerard's throat, and then his nipple, "where's the fun in sleeping with two-fifths of My Chemical Romance if I can't say I blew the lead singer?"

Gerard tilted his head back against the pillows. "I said no groupies."

"I'm not a groupie," Adam murmured against Gerard's hip. "I'm just...appreciative."

Then he took Gerard into his mouth, and Gerard sighed happily. He really loved blowjobs, and despite Frank being even more cock-hungry than usual, they usually disappeared off the menu at times like these purely because if Gerard's dick was hard then Frank wanted to be fucked with it. Gerard didn't really mind – Frank always made up for it, in fact last year's apology had lasted a whole afternoon and meant Frank could barely move his jaw for two days afterwards, but Gerard still missed it. He reached down and sunk his hands into Adam's hair, which was satisfyingly soft and thick. "Fuck, that's good."

Adam hummed around him, which was even better, and Gerard thought that maybe he ought to wake Frank up. He didn't know the rules for when one of you passed out but the other one hadn't gotten off yet – well, he didn't know the rules for that when in a threesome situation. The rule when it was just the two of them was 'jerk off on your face and take a picture,' which Gerard had learned the hard way.

When he turned his head, though, he found that Frank had woken up again. For a second Gerard felt terribly guilty that he was using his hard-on to get a blowjob instead of using it to fuck Frank. Then he felt a moment of overwhelming terror that Frank was going to demand Adam stop, because seriously it was a really good blowjob and Frank had already had his turn, and then he felt guilty all over again – but Frank didn't look mad, just fascinated and a little surprised and a lot horny. Again.

"Frankie," said Gerard, and Frank moved in closer, pressing himself along Gerard's side and reaching down to tangle one of his hands with Gerard's, in Adam's hair.

"Is it good?" he said, trailing his mouth along Gerard's shoulder.

"Mmmhmm," Gerard managed, and then Adam started rubbing with his tongue, soft and wet and warm under the head and Gerard moaned.

Frank hummed and let go of Gerard's hand so he could settle with his head on Gerard's chest and let his fingers wander over Gerard's belly and hips, then down to tangle with Adam's where they were wrapped around his cock. He touched Adam's lips where they met his fist.

"He doesn't mind a little bit of teeth," he told Adam, and Gerard moaned again, louder this time – not just because Adam took instruction really well, but because this was what he missed, Frank being really present during sex, not so far down under the haze that he sometimes couldn't even respond to Gerard calling his name.

Frank stayed there the whole time, touching Gerard and giving Adam the occasional instruction, and after Gerard came Frank still stayed, snuggled against his side, brushing kisses against his skin. Adam lifted himself up and held his weight on his arms, bracketing both of them, bending to kiss first Frank, then Gerard, then Frank again. Gerard had a strange flash of a mother bird feeding her babies, but he kept it to himself – he'd chased off more than a few of Frank's erections by sharing the things his brain came up with at times like these.

"Mmm," said Adam, pulling back. He was hard again, Gerard could feel it against his thigh, and he smiled when Frank craned up, trying to follow Adam's mouth with his own. "I don't suppose I could interest you in another round?"

"Always," said Frank, pushing himself up.

They got Adam in between them, this time, because Gerard was all about everyone getting their turn. He propped himself up a little against the pillows and headboard; Adam lay between his legs, back to Gerard's chest, which meant Gerard could play as much as he wanted while Frank straddled him and sunk down.

"That's it," said Gerard, running his hands down Adam's long arms and folding their hands together around Frank's hips. He squeezed a little, then let go and brought his hands back to Adam's chest. "Your freckles are awesome, by the way."

"Thanks," Adam said, wriggling a little in place, getting comfy. "I pretty much hate them but everyone always says they're cute."

Cute wasn't the word Gerard would have used. They were just so interesting, random but somehow deliberate, like someone had loaded up a paintbrush and then spattered Adam all over. There were paintings like that. There were entire series of incredibly expensive, critically acclaimed paintings like that, in fact, and now Gerard was picturing Adam mounted on a plinth in a museum, naked with the room all in white.

"I'd see that show," Frank agreed when Gerard said it out loud. Adam was kind of laughing, but it was pleased rather than bashful, like he agreed, like he wanted to be a show, like he thought he was something people should want to see. Gerard knew how that was, and he nipped at Adam's throat, making him push back and tighten his fingers on Frank's hips.

Frank rode him slow and easy, fucking beautiful, his head tipped back and his throat working, shiny with sweat. When they played with someone else Gerard always wanted to ask them if they knew what they were getting, if they understood how fucking lucky they were to see Frank like this, if they deserved it. He didn't, because there was a fine line between 'intense' and 'fucking crazy weirdo boyfriend' and he did know that, even if his inner voice sometimes didn't.

Adam was earning it, anyway; he did half the work, moving his hips instead of just lying there, his body rolling up like a wave. And he didn't go for Frank's cock until they were both gasping and shaking with it, and even then he believed it when Gerard told him, "You don't have to touch him, baby, he can get there."

Frank kind of laughed at the ceiling but kept on going, rolling his hips like that, leaning back to brace his hands on Adam's knees. Adam was shuddering against Gerard, pushing back for more of Gerard's mouth on his throat, Gerard's fingers on his nipples, more of anything he could get until Frank let go and Adam did too, making a whole lot of gorgeous fucking noise.

"That do you?" Adam said afterward, but Frank had already fallen predictably back to sleep, face-first in the pillows. Adam chuckled and lay down behind Gerard, curling his long arm over both of them. "I can't believe I almost didn't come to the show today," he slurred.

"Terrible things happen to people who don't come see us play," Gerard agreed. Adam hummed and tightened his arm a little. Within minutes he was asleep too, steady breath against Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard stayed awake for a while, just enjoying the quiet.

Epilogue, 2009:

They were lying around playing video games – well, Gerard was playing a video game and Frank was critiquing Gerard’s performance, which nobody had asked him to do – when the phone rang. Gerard had absolutely no intention of getting it, so it rang and rang and rang some more until eventually Frank rolled over with a huff and picked the receiver up off the coffee table.

“Hello? Hey, man, what’s up?”

Gerard concentrated on the screen. He was so close to beating this level, he just had to not get distracted by the fucking giant ice monster thing, and he would – “Frank!”

Frank was standing up now, the remote in his hand, pointed at the TV which he had just switched to regular television in the middle of Gerard’s game. He ignored Gerard’s squawk and said into the phone, “Wait, which channel is it on?”

“You are going to pay for this,” Gerard said loudly.

Frank winked at him. “Counting on it,” he said, and then he looked back at the TV. “Mikey says there’s a guy on American Idol who looks just like you.”

“Nobody looks just like me,” Gerard said grumpily. “And we had to take Idol off our schedule after you had that sex dream about Simon Cowell.”

“Gah,” Frank shuddered. "But I thought you were still TiVoing it so you could secretly watch it without me?"

"...maybe," said Gerard.

Frank smirked, and then his mouth dropped open and he sat heavily down on the couch. “Holy shit.”

Gerard looked at the screen – for a second it was just Cowell (gah) fighting with Paula Abdul, but then it was – “Holy shit.”

“Dude,” Frank said into the phone. “Dude, we totally fucked that guy. Well, he fucked me and Gerard watched. Whatever.”

“Holy shit,” said Gerard again, still staring. Adam-on-the-screen kissed Paula Abdul’s hand.

“No, well, you wouldn’t,” Frank said to Mikey. “It was on Projekt Revolution, you weren’t there.”

“Frank,” said Gerard. “Frank, a guy we had sex with is on American Idol!”

Frank passed the phone over. Gerard took it and held it to his ear. Mikey said, "You hired a stunt dick?"

"He wasn't a stunt dick!" Gerard said, which made Frank fall back on the couch laughing. "He was really sweet, and nice, and fucking hot, I would have done him any time of year."

"Narcissism isn't sexy, Gerard," Mikey said heavily.

Gerard scowled at the wall. "It was Frank's idea! And you don't know, Mikey! You don't know what it's like when it's just me and he needs me to fuck him all the time, okay, I am only one person!"

"I still don't get why you don't just spring for one of those fucking machines," said Mikey. "They come in colors."

"It's not the same!" Frank called from the couch. "And anyway Gerard was afraid I wouldn't need him anymore if we got one."

"I was not," Gerard huffed, and then he heard Mikey relay this (false!) information to Alicia, and hung up before she could get on the phone. The phone rang again immediately; Gerard picked up and said, "He doesn't even really look like me."

"Not enough that you couldn't have just done it in front of a mirror," Alicia agreed.

"We do it in front of the mirror all the time!" Frank yelled.

"Oh my god," said Gerard, and hung up again. But he couldn't hang up on Frank, who was in the room, grinning at him from his sprawl on the couch. Gerard frowned at him, and Frank rolled his eyes, got up, and came over to shove into the big chair with Gerard.

"Stop bitching," he said when Gerard refused to move his arms, and thrashed around until Gerard had no choice but to let him cuddle up. "You were there. He gave you a blowjob that you talked about for weeks."

"But not because I think he looks like me!" Gerard insisted.

"He doesn't look like you," Frank agreed. "I thought that was the point of threesomes, that we get to have sex with someone who isn't each other."

"Ugh," said Gerard, letting his head drop back against the chair. Frank nosed around under his jaw, then pressed a kiss there. Gerard slipped his hand up the back of Frank's shirt and stroked the soft skin there for a minute. "I am discontent," he announced to the ceiling.

"Because Adam's on TV?"

"What if he wins?" Gerard realized then that he'd been too busy getting abused by his brother to even hear Adam's audition. "Was he good?"

So then they had to rewind the thingy, and watch it, and fuck yeah Adam was good, fucking amazing, of course he was, he'd told Gerard he did musical theater.

"And they don't play with that shit," he told Frank now. "Remember when we went to see Miss Saigon and that one singer almost blew our ears out?"

Frank got a dreamy look on his face. "Her tits were epic."

"Yes," said Gerard, "that's exactly what I hoped you would take from the experience."

Frank just laughed. "So it looks like we had sex with the next American Idol, anyway," he said, gesturing back at the screen. "Go us, I guess."

Gerard covered his face. "Maybe he won't win," he moaned.

"Maybe," said Frank doubtfully.

"What if he does an exposé?" Gerard worried aloud. "What if he sells a story about your summer thing? And it gets all over the media? And everyone knows?"

"Right," said Frank. "Because we're famous enough for that."

"Sex sells!" Gerard threw his hands in the air.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure everyone knows we have sex," said Frank, making a twirly gesture that Gerard guessed was meant to indicate their house and life and shit.

Which wasn't the point. "With each other," said Gerard.

"Gerard," Frank said patiently, "I'm not sure the first thing an American Idol contestant wants to do is a tell-all about some random guitarist's borked libido. I think pretty much what they want to do is talk about how singing is their lifelong dream, murder a few innocent classics, and then bite the hand off the first person who offers them a record deal. He's not gonna get up there and tell Cowell that he once worked for My Chemical Romance as a stunt dick."

"Not a stunt dick," said Gerard, and he was getting shrill but he couldn't help it. He felt very strongly that Frank was really not taking the situation seriously enough.

Frank rolled his eyes, but then pulled Gerard up out of the chair and wrapped both arms around him, hugging him firm and close. "If it makes you feel better," he said, "we can try to get in touch. Doesn't Cortez know him? Maybe we can meet up with him or something."

Gerard eyed him suspiciously. Frank looked back innocently. Gerard pointed at him. "You just want to have sex with him again!"

"Well!" said Frank, grinning. "I couldn't really appreciate it last time!"

"Ugh," said Gerard, and shoved Frank back hard enough that he went toppling back down onto the couch.

Frank just laughed and wriggled forward until he could hook his foot around the back of Gerard's knee. "He could fuck you this time," he said, tugging a little, folding his arms behind his head so his shirt rode up and Gerard could see skin at his waist. "Or maybe he'll let you fuck him."

"I didn't get the impression he was into that," Gerard said, letting himself be pulled minutely forward.

Frank grinned and unfolded one arm so he could rest his hand on his chest. "In that case," he said, trailing his fingers down over his belly and back up, bringing his shirt with him and tipping his head back, "maybe you could both just do me at the same time."

Gerard didn't like to be manipulated, but there was Frank groping himself and writhing around on the couch, talking about threesomes and occasionally giving Gerard a look from under his lids to make sure it was working, and what was he supposed to do? He was only human. "You can't take two at a time," he hedged, moving a little further forward still. "You're not a porn star."

Frank pouted. "I could be a porn star. You won't even let me try."

He slid his foot all the way up Gerard's thigh and Gerard had to suck in a breath and catch himself against the back of the sofa. "If we do try," he said, trying to keep his voice steady, "it'll be me and a toy, not me and-" he gestured at the screen, where Adam was frozen mid-charm offensive, "Dirk Diggler over there."

Frank cracked up, his stupid scratchy delighted laugh somehow making him look even sexier, and yanked on the back of Gerard's leg hard enough that Gerard went toppling over and landed on him. "Hmm," said Frank, pleased, and wiggled a hand down between them. "He was hung and all, but I think I prefer this right here."

"Well, good," said Gerard, fumbling for the remote because he couldn't do this with fucking Cowell (gah) watching. "Because that's the only one you're getting."

"I love it when you're jealous," Frank said gleefully, and Gerard rolled them both off onto the floor, and proceeded to prove his point.