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Goofy Brother

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Tavros clumsily swirled his finger around in the sopor slime, licking it off with an ill expression inching over his face.

“Gamzee, this tastes really kind of bad.” he mumbled. “I'm, of course, not saying that what you like is bad, I just don't think I like this very much.”

The troll beside him simply smiled airily and shoveled a cupped-handful of the goo into his face. It smeared across his mouth and dripped slowly, trailing down his chin- which he didn't seem to pay any mind to, anyway.

“Come on, my goofy brother,” Gamzee began, tracing, dazed, a finger around the leftovers in the tin. “I like what I like, you like what you like. You like me, I like you. It's the motherfuckin' infinity of harmonious shit, you see?”

Thoughtfully, Tavros nodded his head, feeling his collapsing and expanding bladder based aquatic vascular system thumping quite rapidly in his chest as he began to speak:

“It's the circle of eternal, uhh, friendship.”

“No no, you're all up and hearing me wrong, man. I like you and shit.”

“I like you too, Gamzee. You're my best fri-”

“I'm sayin' I got legit red feelings for you.”


Throwing his hands in front of his face with flat palms, Tavros began to wish his confused little thinkpan raw. He screwed his eyes shut and hoped that the floor below him would shoot up and suck him in whole so he wouldn't have to deal with anything that overwhelming ever again.

“Woah, chill my flustered bro, I'm just all up and putting that shit out in the motherfuckin' open. No need to send those sparkly lookstubs on a one-way trip to Cry Town.” Gamzee said comfortingly, his sopor smile never leaving his green-crusted lips. “If your chest thumper isn't on the same track as mine, that's totally fine in my book of miracles.”

“No, no it is, I think. Really, maybe not really- I'm not sure, but I am sure of, uhh, this very thing being that I may possibly have the exact red feelings for you, I believe.”

“Then let this motherfucker kiss you and we can straighten this shit out.”

Gamzee held tight onto the trembling troll's shoulders and slowly inched forward, letting his drooping eyelids fall down even further. However, Tavros couldn't bear to close his eyes. That couldn''t possibly happen. Not a chance. He was clearly just imagining things! This situation had no chance of actually playing out in real life. Clearly.

Of course it was happening.

Their lips met rather briefly and quite awkwardly before Gamzee pulled back.
“So, are you gettin' your red on with this shit?” he asked, staring at Tavros vacantly.


“I can kiss your shit again, man just le-”

“Please kiss me again, and I may come to a conclusion that is, uhh, most acceptable and less unsure.” Tavros murmured, his gaze slowly trailing its way up to Gamzee's at the slowest slimebeast's pace. “I would really enjoy it, I think.”

With a slow, sure nod, Gamzee leaned in close again. Their lips brushed against one another softly at first, before coming together in a kiss- a real, somewhat gooey kiss. Tavros noted the sour taste of sopor slime on his breath and in his skin, as if it was seeping through his pores just to make him feel ill again- unless this was a much different kind of sickness. He could almost hear his thumporgan pounding in his ears and his blood rushing to his face, tinting his lips and cheeks a pale shade of brown.

He finally mustered up the courage to pull away.

“I think, uhh, I am most definitely red for you.” he whispered, his eyes shifting off to the side demurely to stare at absolutely nothing. It elicited a good 'ol fashioned mohawk ruffle from Gamzee.

“I'm motherfuckin' happy, bro. So motherfuckin' happy.”