Jack doesn't understand.
Jack, Rose, Jackie; All Ages
This is a drabble I wrote for Lindenharp because she bid on me in the Support Stacie Auction. The prompt was “Jack, shopping,” but somehow Rose and Jackie insisted on being in it. Rated PG. Hope you like it!
“How could you do this to Jack, Mum?“
“Rosie, I don’t min-”
“What, he can wrestle monsters with you an’ himself, but-”
“You’re just angry we’re not stayin’ longer! Did it to embarrass him!”
“I’m not embarr-”
“If he thinks he’s too good to help when your mother needs-”
“I’m not too-”
“Shaddup, Jack. ‘Snot about you.”
He shrinks back when both Tyler women glare at him. He should never have done this. But Jackie’s request had seemed so harmless…
Who knew Rose would be angry just because her Mum made him come to Aldi to carry the shopping?
“Come and get me, big boy!”
This is for the consortium known as the Shadow Proclamation (Wendymr and undisclosed parties), who bid on me in the Support Stacie Auction. The prompt was “Rose comes on to Jack.”
Rose wriggles her hips. “Oh, come and get me, big boy!”
“Okay, now you’re just being cruel,“ Jack whines, pushing out his lower lip in a pout.
“Never had a man before who was almost twelve inches!” She can barely hold in the laughter.
“Not fair!” Jack stamps his foot. He looks at the Doctor for help. “Make her stop!”
“Nope. Might finally teach you to listen, this.” The Doctor grins broadly. “Tell me, lad, what was the one thing I said you had to pay attention to when we stormed the lab?”
Jack sighs morosely. “Dodge the shrink ray.”
Chapter 3: Like Animals
Rose is feeling exposed.
I wrote this as a thank-you for Wiggiemomsi for her incredible generosity in the Support Stacie Auction. Her prompt was “Rose/Jack, inappropriate nudity.” Rated PG-13 (for nudity! *g*).
Rose pushes against his chest, shivering in the evening chill. “Jack, people are staring at us!”
“Let ‘em. The Doctor’ll be here to rescue us soon enough.” He slides his warm hand up her thigh, which is covered with goose flesh. “Want to keep warm till then?” He’s leering, but his eyes are gentle.
Rose blushes furiously. “Jack! This is not the place!” But she leans into him, burrowing her face into his shoulder.
Jack grins. “Oh, really?” He points to the sign above their cage:
“The Kash’dias City Zoo proudly presents our newest acquisition: Terran homo sapiens – breeding pair.”
Chapter 4: Diversion
Aliens are known for indecent behavior.
The crowd stared and pointed. The Doctor tried to pull back.
Rose linked her hands behind his neck. "Just a bit longer," she whispered against his lips.
"That's the point!" She nipped his lower lip.
With a grunt, the Doctor put his arms around Rose and dipped her. "How much time does the idiot need?"
Rose craned back her neck as if overcome with passion. "Now. We can stop." She managed not to sound disappointed.
By the time the guards had stopped gossiping about "those wanton aliens" and thought to check Jack's cell, the TARDIS had already dematerialized.
Prompt: Rose/Nine - undercover kiss.
Chapter 5: Double-Drabble: A Sticky Situation
The Doctor warned him to stay out of trouble…
On Fontila, stopping another man from beating his wife will get you treacled and feathered.
Jack didn't know that.
He's found out.
As he approaches the TARDIS, the Doctor's warnings ring in his ears. Be back in an hour. Stay out of trouble!
Great. What he really needs today is a telling-off and being mocked for looking like a molting chicken.
He unlocks the door quietly. If he's lucky, maybe he can…
"Jack!" Rose's face is aghast. "What happened to you?"
The Doctor comes over, looks him up and down, disgust on his face. Jack can see the storm clouds gathering behind his eyes.
Strong arms pull him against a broad chest. His mumbled protests that he'll ruin the Doctor's jumper are shushed. "Well done, lad."
Jack's look of surprise is met with a rueful grin. "Had this happen, first time I was here. Thought they'd stopped by this century."
Another pair of arms hugs him from behind, equally uncaring of the muck, the stickiness, the stench. "Let's get you to a shower, eh?"
"Will be hell to get off, this. He might need help."
Jack feels his partners exchanging a grin over his shoulder.
The day is looking up.
Chapter 6: Two Out of Three
Shortly before the ninth Doctor dies, Rose asks him a question.
"Where's Jack?" Rose's eyes are wide with worry and confusion.
Mere minutes till he regenerates and she loses him, too. What can he say?
You turned him into a fact and now he's destined to suffer more than any living being ever. There's nothing I can do and I can't watch that happen to my friend. So I left him, alone with the corpses and with no idea why. I abandoned him.
He forces a wide grin. "Decided to stay behind. Help rebuild the Earth, be a hero. Think he took a shine to that Davitch bloke."
Coward, any day.
Chapter 7: Mental Acrobats
One's a Time Lord, the other's a Time Agent. Between them, there's not a lot they haven't seen.
Jack frowns. "Sure it's not a life form?"
The Doctor gestures with the screwdriver. "Copolymer of ethylene and vinyl acetate."
"But how did it just turn up on the console?"
"Dunno, do I?"
Jack prods the object with a spanner. "I think it's some kind of comb."
"Nah, looks more like a cable holder to me."
"What if it's some sort of trap?"
The Doctor nods. "Might be. Probably best to incinerate it. Hand me those tongs."
They're watching the flames engulf the strange artifact when Rose comes in, looking around. "Have either of you guys seen my toe separator?"
The artifact in question.
Prompt: Jack/Nine: mental acrobats. Hold the angst, please.
Chapter 8: Drabble: Doctor's Orders
"Come to bed."
Here's a drabble I've been owing Sahiya pretty much forever. (Sorry!)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
"Come to bed." Rose touches Jack's shoulder gently.
"I need to finish tuning the–"
The Doctor turns from the console. He looks Jack up and down. "You stupid ape, why are you still here?"
Jack bristles. He won’t be sent to bed like a child. "'scuse me for wanting to help!"
The Doctor shakes his head and Jack's shoulder. "Bed. Now." His mouth curves up. "Intend to shag you through the mattress later. Need you awake for that."
Rose laughs. Jack salutes. "Sir, yes, sir."
That's the kind of being sent to bed that he can get behind.
Prompt: OT3, exhaustion.
Chapter 9: Household Hazards
There are things Jack's parents didn't warn him about when he was little...
"What's that?" Jack asks, pointing at the red object.
Rose giggles. "That's a stapler."
"Do they have nothing normal in your century?" She grabs two of the Doctor’s post-its and staples them together. "See?"
Jack looks impressed. "That's clever!" He takes the stapler and examines it curiously.
"What're you apes up to?"
"Doctor! Rose showed me a great gadget! It's called a 'stapler' and holds paper together!" He grabs more post-its. "Like this!"
The Doctor grimaces as Jack yelps loudly. "Paper, cardboard, careless fingers..." He takes Jack's shoulder. "Medbay. An' let me tell you somethin' about running with scissors..."
Chapter 10: Available in Assorted Colors
Jack got himself in trouble.
Rose holds the Doctor's hand tightly as they enter the slave market. "Sure he's here?"
"That's what they do with off-worlders arrested for lewd conduct."
"He was only saying–" She stops and stares, mouth hanging open.
The Doctor follows her gaze and starts laughing.
It's Jack – poppy-red all over, curved horns attached to his temples, and a black-tasseled tail hanging from his... other end.
The Doctor smirks. "Should've known they'd put you with the living sculptures."
"Yep. Should have." Jack preens.
Flabbergasted, Rose stammers, "You're... a devil!"
Jack winks. "Aw, hon – I'm not bad. I'm just painted that way."
Prompt: I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
Chapter 11: I've Got Dirt on You
The dangers of phone box travel.
"Dammit, Doctor, say it already!" Jack sucked his swollen thumb. "I'm sick of the 'accidents.'"
The Doctor shook his head. "Wasn't my fault." He grabbed the banister as his foot slipped off the grating.
Jack rolled his eyes.
Rose stormed in, wrapped in a towel and dripping wet. "The sh-shower is ice c-cold!" she complained, shivering. "Doctor, you h-have to say it!" She stomped her foot.
The Doctor sighed and put his hand on the console. "Look, old girl..." He trailed off.
His companions glared.
He hunched his shoulders and continued, "I'm really sorry I landed you in a bog."
Chapter 12: Is it Bigger than a Breadbox?
A shopping trip goes a little awry.
Originally posted as a stocking stuffer for Dark_Aegis.
The tiny green alien is chattering angrily, pointing at Jack.
"He says you stole his shuttle," the Doctor translates.
"Why would I do that? My head wouldn't even fit into it!"
The Doctor renders that into the high-pitched hisses and clicks even the TARDIS translator can't manage.
"Says he saw you pick it up and walk away."
"I didn'–" Jack stops, blanching. "Ask him what it looks like."
The Doctor does. "'Bout yay long. Silver with a pink dome."
Rose emerges from the loo. "What's going on?"
Jack bites his lip. "There's a problem with that breadbox you bought earlier."
Chapter 13: The Price of Vanity
When the Doctor gets sick, what he needs most is – someone to blame.
Furiously, the Doctor brushes past Jack, rubbing his face. "Don't need your help!"
"Doctor, I'm sorry."
"'Course you are." He stumbles, almost falling.
"Please, let me–"
"Just get off me!"
"Doctor!" Rose draws herself up to her full five-feet-five. "You knock it off right bloody now!"
He stops, startled. Doesn't even protest when Jack wraps an arm around him to steady his shivering body.
"Jack an' me are gonna take you to bed now. You're gonna rest. An' no more of that blaming Jack nonsense."
Jack nods hopefully.
"Shut it!" She glares, arms akimbo. "Use that big Time Lord brain of yours an' think about if it's really Jack's fault."
Jack squeezes his hip almost shyly.
The Doctor takes a deep breath and turns to him, looking sheepish. "Rose is right. 'M sorry, lad."
Later, lying in bed, buried under a mountain of blankets and two wonderfully warm humans, the Doctor has to admit that if being sick is like this, he really has no reason to complain. Though that whole crying and shivering business is damn undignified.
Still, he shouldn't have blamed Jack. After all, the lad couldn't have known Time Lords are allergic to hair gel.
Chapter 14: You Are What You Eat
...and that's not always a good thing.
"Oi! Which one of you messed with the Allele-Osmosis Inhibitor?" The Doctor's waves the gadget accusingly. "Took me months to get that tuned!"
Rose shakes her head. "Dunno what that is, didn't touch it."
Jack raises his hand. "I did."
"Why the hell would you do that?"
"I was trying to make you breakfast."
The Doctor huffs. "Why'd you use my Allele-Osmosis Inhibitor to make bloody breakfast?" He smacks Jack's arse.
Jack bristles. "Why'd you store it in the kitchen cupboard? In a box labeled 'yoghurt maker'?"
The Doctor turns green. "Lad... where'd that banana yoghurt come from yesterday?"
Chapter 15: Valor of the Smallest
It's too late.
The Doctor screams as he hits the ground, but not from physical pain.
Jack's out cold. The tyrannosaurus is about to attack him and Rose. The Doctor's too far away.
He doesn't want to see. He can't look away.
A bright flash. The monster howls.
Rose is standing over Jack, his blaster in her outstretched hands. "Get away from my bloke!" she yells, every inch Jackie Tyler's daughter.
She fires again. The monster turns and flees.
Rose grins at the Doctor. "An' you weren't gonna let him bring his blaster!"
He smiles. "Not the only thing I was wrong about."