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Sometimes Love Can Save Our Souls

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"Please, Dean I'm begging you, just tell her," Sam pleaded with his older brother.

"She's happy, Sammy I can't tell her that I lied to her, it would break her heart and I couldn't stand doing that to her, I love her too much. I can't even believe that I looked her in the eyes as she hugged me and I told her point blank that I didn't sell my soul," Dean said, "I can't do it, I want you to take care of her when I'm gone though, I know you'll check in on here everyday maybe call."

"Dean, you know I will, but did you write the letter?"

"Yeah, I put it in the Impala so when I don't come back take her to it," he said.

"I will, I just wish you'd let Ruby help us, I have the power just let me use it to save you don't be so damned stubborn Dean."

"No, this isn't her fight this is ours, just take care of my kids and help them deal with my absence," Dean said as he tried not to break down, though the thought of not being able to see his children made him want to go back and rethink the deal.

Bobby stood outside the house waiting on them. He knew that Dean was lying to Cassie and he'd about killed him for it, but he understood in a strange way why Dean had done what he did. He was all about family safety no matter what the price.

Dean waited till it was half hour before the sun rose to wake Cassie up, "Cas, we need to talk," he said.

"Dean what's wrong?" she asked with concern in her voice as she sat up then wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I want us watch the sun come up with you, baby."

"Dean what the hell is wrong? You've been acting weird since you got back," she said as they went outside.

"Can't a guy want to watch the sun come up with my wife?" he asked as he put his arms around her.

"I'm sorry for doubting you baby it's just with everything that has happened this year, I'm afraid that I'll wake up to have Sam telling me that you lied to me about not selling your soul and find out that you did sell your soul," she said as they waited for the sun.

Dean wrapped his arms around her and held her to him, "I promise you it'll all be okay, in the end everything will be fine,"

"But things won't be okay until you come through excited that Lilith is dead and exclaiming that you are no longer hunting. I will not let you die on me Dean," she said.

Dean couldn't say anything as he held her with the hope that she couldn't tell that he was keeping something from her. The silence was more than he could take as he finally broke down into a tearful confession, "I'm sorry, I had to do it," he choked out as the sun rose and he could feel Cassie going stiff in his embrace, "I had to save this family and I couldn't allow Sammy to die. I also couldn't let Azazel come after you or our kids I know that you hate me for it, but I had to do it, it was my only way to keep you all safe." He had given his all for those he loved but he only wanted to live.

Cassie turned around after prying herself from Dean's arms, "How long do you have?" she asked as her face mirrored his which was sad and forlorn.

"I have till midnight tonight," he said not meeting her eyes, "I'm sorry baby and I know that you wanted more kids and that I promised you that I'd never do something stupid and that I would be here to protect our family, but I screwed up," he looked at her, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Cassie wanted badly to hit him or something, but all she could do was hug him and cry with him. "I should let Bobby take you out and kick your ass for this," she said before she wiped his eyes.

"He already threatened that," Dean said with a sad laugh, "I'm so sorry, baby."

"I should have known you did it. The minute you told me I saw the sadness in your eyes, the same sadness that is there now, come on," she said taking his hand and leading him back inside toward the bedroom.

"Cas, you don't have to I'll understand, after all I betrayed you and our family."

"Dean stop talking like that, I wish I could hate you and think that it was stupid, but I know that in your heart you were thinking that you did the right thing."

"Not anymore, now I'm scared to death Cassie, I don't want to die, I don't want to leave our three children alone without a dad, I don't want to do what my father did to me and Sam."

Cassie held him and for the first time ever watched as her husband cried. She'd never seen this side of him and they'd been together for three years.

"It's okay," she said letting him let the pain out. She did the same, but for the different reasons. She grieved for the husband that she'd soon lose and for the two children she carried that would never meet their father, it killed her to think about this.