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In Just Seven Fics, I Can Make You A Man

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A weakling, weighing ninety-eight pounds
Will get sand in his face when the ground


1. Drabble

"Dude," said Blue Guy, "you can't do sex in a hundred words. It's like, not enough."

"You'd only need twenty-five," Pink Dude muttered resentfully.


2. WiP

"So..." Pink Dude rubbed his hair nervously. "You wanna, like, hang out? Get drunk, play manly games, do manly stuff?"

"And then have manly buttsex?"

"Uh ... maybe?"

"Hey, I've got nothing better to do."

to be continued...


3. PWP

"Unf unf unf -- YES!" said Blue Guy.


4. Angst

Blue Guy sat in a dark room, brooding. Sometimes it was so damn hard, to maintain his sober masculine facade. It wasn't Pink Dude's fault. He just didn't understand. Blue Guy had spent his entire life trying to conform to unrealistic standards of masculinity. He didn't cry. He didn't laugh. He drank milk straight from the bottle, read nothing but girlie magazines, and only watched macho shows, like Supernatural, Smallville and the Mister Universe contest.

Blue Guy stared at the bottle of steroids in his hand, and hoped the tales of testicular shrinkage were exaggerrated.


5. Macros






6. Fluff

"I like the pink curtains," said Pink Dude, predictably.

"They'll go with the blue crockery," said Blue Guy.

"You guys make me sick," said Mexican Wrestling Mask Guy.


7. Woke Up Gay

One morning, Blue Guy woke up gay.

"Pink Dude!" he cried. "I'm gay!"

"Well, duh," said Pink Dude. "And you're always stealing the blankets."


He'll do press-ups and chin-ups
Do the snatch, clean and jerk
He thinks dynamic tension
Must be hard work...