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It started, simply enough, with a game of Guitar Hero.
Ryan had run and hidden the minute the he heard the clacking of the fake plastic guitars. Spencer stormed off in disgust after round 26 or so, but Jon? Jon was determined to take Brendon down. So as the next round was getting intense Jon leaned in close and said, "So how long have you been in love with Ryan?"
"Almost from the moment I first saw him...Wait, what?!" Brendon totally lost his place in the game, but Jon's triumph was short lived when he saw the stricken look on his best friend’s face.
"I don't...I mean...what?" Brendon started to protest but then, recognizing a lost cause, sighed and dropped his head into his hands dejectedly. "How did you know?"
"What? Really? Oh wow. I was just joking Bren -- trying to throw you off your game." Jon looked a little sheepish.
"Oh God." Brendon slumped to the floor, back against the couch, head still in his hands. "It's not that obvious is it? I mean, I know we joke and all, but I thought I'd..."
" No! No, it's not so obvious. I mean, I don't know, now that I think about it there are signs..." Seeing the horrified expression on Brendon's face, Jon felt bad for opening this particular can of worms. Especially since he could empathize so very well. He figured the least he could do was give Brendon something back.
"Don't worry, I can't say anything. I know exactly how you feel."
"Oh yeah?" Brendon's sneer was skeptical at best. "And just how is that?"
"Well -- just between you and me -- I've been pretty infatuated with Ryan for quite awhile, too."
Brendon's eyes might actually have popped out of his head if he hadn't been wearing his glasses as he stared at Jon in shock. "You?...What?"
"Yeah, I mean, he has that affect doesn't he? He's just beautiful and so...Ryan. I'd never tell him or anything but..."
"Well, why not?"
"Are you kidding?" Jon shot Brendon his best ‘you must be insane’ face. "I'm sure he'd either laugh at me or run screaming from the room, and I'm not sure which would be more humiliating. Besides, I've seen the way he looks at you. If anyone had a chance..."
"Oh please. I've been throwing myself at him for years. He obviously isn't interested in me." Brendon’s pout was monumental.
"Maybe he thinks you're just joking.” Jon looked at Brendon levelly. “Have you ever really told him how you feel?"
"Well no, but..."
"Then how do you know?" Jon asked softly as he reached over and pulled Brendon's chin up so he was looking into his eyes.
"How do you know? Do you not know how he goes on about you since you joined the band?" Brendon's eyes were sparkly and thoughtful. "It's all 'Jon did this' and 'Jon said that' all the time. It's almost nauseating."
"Whatever dude." Jon rolled his eyes. Ryan does not talk about me that much....does he? "You should really just tell him how you feel."
"Yeah, and you should take your own advice, Socrates."
"All right, how's this? I will if you will!"
"Oh right, how's that gonna work?" Now it was Brendon's turn to roll his eyes. "Hey Ryan! Jon and I are in love with you -- whaddya think of that?"
"No, no. We don't want to overwhelm the guy, but we could...We could woo him, perhaps?" Jon waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"You're saying we should try to seduce him?" Brendon looked less than convinced.
"Sure. We can have a little friendly competition even..."
"But Jon." Brendon looked almost hopeful. "What if one of us wins?"
"Then we'll be happy that one of us could make Ryan happy, and we'll leave it at that."
Brendon pondered for moment. "Yeah, ok, I could live with that. I mean if he doesn't love me at least I know you would be good to him."
"Exactly, and I feel the same. You're my best friend B. If you guys are meant to be then fine. But we'll never know if we don't try, and if someone else were to come along and steal his heart...?"
"Oh! Don't even think it J." Brendon almost choked at the very idea. "You're on!"
Operation: Seduce Ryan Ross begins today
Ryan was baffled. It was just a local club gig. Something to keep them on their toes and please the local fans. So why was Brendon being so over the top?
They would have usually done a pretty straightforward set -- minus the theatrics -- but every time he turned around tonight Brendon was in his face, touching him, almost kissing him, pressing against him. He tried to ignore it, but he was starting to get flustered.
He usually liked the exchange between them, more than he'd ever admit, but he'd never had this much trouble staying focused on the music instead of Brendon's hands, Brendon's hips, or, Oh God, Brendon's lips.
When Brendon walked up and gazed into his eyes and sang directly to him Ryan nearly swooned. Get a hold of yourself Ross. He's just playing for the crowd. Don't cream your jeans.
Brendon turned and addressed the crowd: "Thank you guys. We're gonna take a short break." Oh thank God. "Be right back.”
Ryan couldn't get offstage fast enough.
Once backstage he immediately turned on the source of his frustration. "Brendon what the fuck!?”
Brendon blinked at him, confused.
"It's just a club gig, Bren. You can lay off the antics for the fangirls!"
"Who says I'm doing it for the fangirls?" Brendon's heart was racing. He was afraid of putting himself out there, but he knew he had to take a chance. "Have you ever thought that maybe I just like being close to you? That maybe I'll use any excuse I can to touch you?"
Ryan's eyes flew wide before he caught himself and slipped back into a mask of cool. “Yeah whatever Bren," he snorted. "Can't you get your jollies on Jon tonight?'
Ryan turned, willing himself not to see the hurt that passed across Brendon's face, and walked off towards the stage. His heart most definitely was not in his throat when he heard the whispered, “Won't stop me from wanting you," that fell from Brendon's lips.
For the rest of the show Brendon kept his distance -- though whenever their eyes met Ryan felt like his heart was being pulled out of his chest. Brendon didn't distract him with his touching and groping. He leaned into Jon a few times and even laid his head on his shoulder once. Why was it that something that always seemed to sexual to Ryan only looked like camaraderie with Jon?
At least now Ryan was able to concentrate on his playing and stay calm and collected. So why did he feel like he'd lost something?
Jon was more subtle, more suave, and Ryan was caught off guard. They were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, complaining about their lack of "normal" social lives.
Ryan sighed, "I don't know when I last had a good night out -- minus paparazzi and autograph hounds and wondering what would be on Buzznet the next day."
"I'm DJ’ing that private party at Club Indigo tonight. Invitation only. No media freaks. You should come out with me Ry. I'll totally show you a good time." Jon smiled that fabulous Jon Walker smile and Ryan blinked.
"Yeah, that could be fun man."
"Really?"
"Sure why not?" Ryan dumped his cup in the sink and watched Jon stand up and head for the door.
"Great! I have to be there early for set up because Tom always fucks it up by himself, but I'll put you on the VIP list and you can meet me there."
It wasn't until he saw the joy that lit up Jon's eyes that he realized he'd just agreed to a date with Jon. Oh fuck.
He'd been thinking about Brendon, who he'd always thought was some unattainable dream, always teasing but never serious. Only now he was acting like it wasn't just a joke. Not just the show the other night but little things. The way he gazed at Ryan across the room. The way he turned off Guitar Hero when Ryan got a headache. He wouldn't do that for just anybody. He'd almost been ready to go talk to Bren, see if there was a chance...
But now, Jon was asking him out? What the hell? Jon was the definition of awesome. So cool and yet so hot. Did Jon have feelings for him? Oh shit! He couldn't choose between them! Jon and Brendon were best friends. He couldn't break that up. Not to mention the band. Ryan would never do anything to jeopardize his band. Besides no matter who he chose it would hurt someone he cared very much about.
He had to think of a way to get out of this without hurting Jon's feelings too much.
Jon couldn't believe it had been that easy. Ryan had said yes without even hesitating. Maybe he really did like him. He was almost giddy with anticipation and had to remind himself to breathe a few times during setup. As the doors opened and the first guests started to trickle in he couldn't help but watch for that familiar face. He told himself not to be too nervous. It was just Ryan, one of his closest friends. Hell, they lived together for crying out loud.
Twenty-five minutes later he was starting to go a little crazy, but then he looked up and saw that face he adored...followed by Keltie? Jon's heart sank as his earlier euphoria vanished. Ryan had brought a date to their date.
As they approached him Jon put on a happy face.
" Hey Jon! Look who I found outside!" Ryan left out the part where he'd called and begged her to be there.
"Wow, Keltie. Nice to see you." Jon thought that didn't sound forced at all.
Jon had had a bottle of wine and food brought to the booth, thinking he'd wine and dine Ryan while impressing him with his mad DJ skills -- maybe dance a little, talk a little. But with Keltie there it was just awkward. So he handed the bottle to Ryan and shooed them off towards the dance floor saying, "Go. Party. I told you I'd show you a good time."
Ryan grabbed Keltie's hand and went happily feeling he'd dodged a bullet. He'd seen how intimate the DJ booth could be. He’d seen the wine and food and just knew what Jon had planned. Oh my god he is serious about this. Shit. Fuck. Damn.
There was wine, there was music, there was Keltie, who was sympathetic to his cause, so Ryan figured he might as well make the most of the night out. After downing a glass of wine he dragged Keltie out on the floor and began moving to the music. No worries Ross, just a night out with your girlfriend. He hadn't been able to go into a club and just dance and hang out much at all since they'd made it big. Not without an entourage and bodyguards. It was nice to just let go and enjoy himself. Or it would have been if not for the feel of Jon's eyes following him.
After his fifth glass of wine Ryan felt the urge to make room for more and slipped into the bathroom. A few minutes later as he was washing his hands he felt a presence behind him and looked up to meet Jon's eyes in the mirror.
"You look really sexy out there." Jon's voice was husky, barely above a whisper in his ear. His warm breath sent a chill through Ryan's body.
"Uhm, thank you." Ryan turned around to leave, but Jon held his ground and now he was trapped between Jon and the sink. His heart was racing between the wine and Jon's closeness. He was only human and just look at him for chrissakes. He was brought out of his reverie by the feather light touch of Jon's fingers on his cheek.
"Was it selfish of me to want you to myself tonight?" Jon's eyes were soft with emotion.
"What? No, I..." Ryan didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter because suddenly Jon's lips were on his own, kissing him. It was soft at first but steadily more insistent, tongue teasing and begging for entrance.
Ryan's wine fuzzed mind betrayed him and shut down as his mouth opened for Jon. For a moment there was nothing but this. No one in the world but JonandRyan, and the delicious taste of Jon's lips on his own and the butterflies in his stomach.
But somewhere some speck of Ryan's sense remained and fought to the surface as he pushed away and fled the bathroom leaving a dazed Jon behind. He grabbed Keltie's arm and said, "Come on we're leaving -- bring the wine."
Brendon woke, confused, to the sound of retching in the bathroom. Spencer was sleeping at Haley's. Jon and Ryan were out for the night so who the hell was worshipping the porcelain god? He stumbled blearily down the hall to find a somewhat green looking Ryan collapsed on the floor.
"Ryan!" Brendon rushed forward and gathered him up into his arms. “Where's Jon? God. Ryan?"
"Wha..." Ryan's head was swimming though he wasn't quite as drunk as he had been before throwing up what he was certain was most of his vital organs "Jon's not...I didn't...no Jon...here... no..." Brendon felt warm and soft and Ryan leaned his head into Brendon's chest and prayed for the room to stop spinning. Keltie had made sure he got home alright, and he had been fine -- really, he had. Right up until he wasn't.
"What the hell Ry. Are you drunk?" Brendon was incredulous. Ryan rarely ever drank and never like this. Something must have happened, but he knew he'd never get it out of Ryan in the state he was in.
"Come on Ryan. Lets get you to bed." With something of an effort he managed to get to a standing position, pulling Ryan up with him. Together they stumbled to Ryan's room. As soon as Brendon let go Ryan flopped back onto the bed -- content to pass out where he fell.
"You really can't sleep in those clothes Ry. They reek." Brendon sighed as Ryan groaned. He leaned over and began to wrestle his shirt off.
Being jostled around sobered Ryan enough to take over the job.
"Thanks Bren," he mumbled as he pushed out of his jeans and crawled under the blankets.
"Yeah, no problem Ry." Anything for you. “I'll be right back."
Brendon stepped out the door and Ryan stared after him, feeling guilty for being such a bother. Just as he was starting to wonder what he was up to Brendon appeared in the door with a bottle of water and some aspirin.
"Here, take these and drink up. You'll feel it less in the morning if you're not dehydrated."
"You're too good to me Bren." Ryan did as he was told then lay forward on the bed, wincing as his head squealed in protest. Brendon, having been in his shoes before, rubbed slow circles on his back, urging his body to relax and let go.
"Nothing's too good for you."
"You are...Jon is." Brendon froze at the mention of Jon. What the hell happened anyway? "Why did I never realize you cared? Have I been oblivious Brendon?"
"No, I don't know Ryan. I've been too scared to tell you how I really feel."
"How you feel?" Ryan's heart was in his throat again. Apparently he hadn't vomited up all his vital organs.
Brendon decided he was through holding back, through hiding his true feelings. "I love you Ryan. I always have. I was so afraid to show you so I just made light of it, but you... you mean everything to me."
No reply.
Oh shit! I blew it didn't I? Brendon was afraid to look at Ryan, certain to see a look of horror or disgust. So he doesn't love me like that, but he could say something. When he finally looked down all he saw was a sleeping angel. Of course Ryan. Pass out while I hand you my heart. Sighing, he eased himself off the bed and slipped out, whispering, "Sweet dreams," before closing the door.
As soon as the door clicked shut Ryan opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Fuck! What am I going to do? His dreams would not be sweet tonight. If he slept at all.
Jon spent the night at Tom's. He really didn't know how he was going to face Ryan. He knew he had gone too far. He just hoped he hadn't blown the whole friendship. He usually had way more control than that, but Ryan had just looked so beautiful, so tempting.
And he had kissed back! For one heart stopping moment it had been pure bliss, and Jon had been sure they were on the same page. Maybe Keltie showing up was a coincidence after all. But then Ryan had pushed away, and he had looked so stricken, so disgusted. By the time Jon had recovered his wits enough to follow him he'd already fled the club.
When he went home the next morning he found Brendon waiting for him.
"Where the hell have you been?" Brendon's voice was laced with frustration.
"I spent the night at Tom's -- just couldn't face Ryan." Jon couldn't even look Brendon in the eye at the moment.
"What the fuck happened Jon?"
"He didn't tell you?" No wonder I'm still standing.
"No, he was too out of it."
"What do you mean 'out of it'?" Jon was puzzled.
"He got completely wasted. I found him redecorating the bathroom." Brendon grimaced at the memory.
"Oh god."
"Tell me."
"I kissed him."
"And..." Brendon's eyes were wide.
"And that's it. I kissed him. He kissed me back. Then he ran away."
"Why didn't you go after him?" Brendon snapped. "He was drinking and you left him alone
"He had Keltie."
"Keltie was there?"
"Yeah, Ryan brought her."
"He brought Keltie. On your date."
"Yeah."
"Subtle," Brendon snorted.
"Don't gloat Brendon."
"But you still kissed him."
"Yes, it was stupid. I know, but he was just so.." Jon's voice trailed off.
"Yeah." I get it. "You said he kissed you back."
"He did. Oh god he did." Jon's eyes glazed over at the thought of Ryan's lips on his.
"Well, so maybe he just freaked a little. You should talk to him."
"Where is he anyway?"
"He's still in bed. I made him a hangover breakfast." Brendon nodded to a tray with toast, black coffee, and a bottle of aspirin. "You should take it in. Talk to him."
Ryan groaned when his bedroom door creaked open. He'd already buried his head in the pillows when the sun creeped in. "Brendon, go away. Sleeping now."
"Brendon thought you could use a little, er, breakfast." Jon carefully slipped around the door and nudged it shut.
Oh fuck. Ryan peered out at Jon. "Hey."
"Hey. Rough night?"
"You could say that." Ryan sat up and groaned as the vice around his head tightened.
"God Ry. I'm so sorry." He wanted to go to Ryan offer him some comfort, but he figured he'd done enough damage already.
"Jon, I...”
"I shouldn't have kissed you like that -- I know. I usually have more control than that. I'm so, so sorry."
"It's okay. You just took me by surprise, that's all." Ryan pulled his knees up to his chest. He still didn't want to look Jon in the eye -- didn't want to see what kind of pain he had caused.
"I just...I really like you Ry. I wish you could just give me a chance." Jon hadn't planned to say that, hadn't planned to do anything really but apologize, but Ryan was right there, and he seemed so fragile and vulnerable. Jon just wanted to wrap him in his arms and shield him from everything bad in the world. "I could be so good to you."
"No Jon. I can't. You're not...I just can't." Ryan still refused to look up, afraid that Jon would see the hesitation in his eyes.
"I...okay." Jon set the tray down and slipped out the door before Ryan could see the despair in his.
Ryan finally got his headache under control around three in the afternoon. Brendon had come in for the breakfast tray, taken one look at his red-rimmed eyes and told him to go back to sleep. Ryan had done so gratefully, not wanting to think about Jon or Brendon...or what he might be turning his back on.
He would have definitely stayed hidden in his room if his stomach hadn't cried out for food. After what the traitorous thing did to this morning's toast he wasn't sure it could be trusted, but it was certainly demanding. He walked into the kitchen to find Brendon already heating up some soup.
"Hey sleepy head. Hungry?" Brendon gestured to the soup.
"Yeah actually. What? Are you psychic now?"
"Not really." Brendon grinned. “I heard you moving around in there and figured since you weren't dead you'd be starving by now."
"This for me?" Ryan eyed the bowl.
"Yep." Ryan smiled and Brendon's heart lurched. "Listen, Ryan..."
"Yeah?"
"We need to talk."
Oh crap. "About?"
"Well last night... I tried to tell you some things, and you were too out of it..."
Ryan groaned. "Oh God, Bren. Could we NOT talk about last night?”
"But I really need to tell you..."
"Not now Bren." Ryan cut him off. "Please?"
"It's not about the drinking Ryan or..."
Ryan sent him a death glare. "I said not now Brendon. Can't you just drop it?" Ryan knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't let him, couldn't bear to hear it again.
“Ryan, I really need..." Brendon's voice sounded desperate.
"Brendon! For once could you please just shut up!"
Brendon's eyes flew wide in shock. "I'm sorry...I. I..." He put a hand on Ryan's shoulder in an attempt to calm him, but he just brushed it off as he stood up.
"I can't deal with you now Bren." Ryan stormed out the front door.
"But..." Brendon called after him. "What about your soup?"
"You eat it. I'll get something...somewhere...out." Ryan slammed the door behind him. He knew he was being an asshole. Knew it for certain. But he'd done it with intent.
Maybe now Brendon would change his mind about loving him.
He tried not to think about how much that possibility hurt.
Jon heard yelling and doors slamming so he came out of his room to find Brendon staring into a bowl of soup looking like he had been kicked.
"What the hell was that? It sounded like a storm blew through here."
"Yeah - Hurricane Ryan." Brendon smirked humorlessly.
"What did you do to set that off?"
"Nothing...I mean, I don't know...I was trying to tell him the truth...you know, about how I feel and..."
"He freaked?"
"Well sort of -- he never let me get it out. He didn't even know what I was going to say. He couldn't have unless..." Realization dawned on Brendon's face.
"Unless?"
"Unless he heard me last night."
"Heard what?"
"I told him last night. Spilled out my heart, but when I looked at him he was asleep -- or so I thought." Brendon started to become frantic. "Oh God! He knows. He knows but he doesn't want to. Oh shit! What have I done? Oh fuck...”
"Hey, hey. Not any worse than me." Jon put his arm around Brendon and pulled him close to his side. "I planted one on him remember? I spilled my heart, too, and he told me no way. At least he spared you that."
"Yeah, I guess." Brendon didn't sound convinced.
"So, Spence not back yet?"
"Nope. Date night you know."
"Well, I've got an idea."
"Uhm, oooookay." Jon's last 'idea' had him humiliating himself in front of Ryan.
"You, me, a bottle of Tequila, bag of limes, and drunken Guitar Hero. Last man standing declared Ultimate Champion."
"Heh -- Bring it. I’m gonna make you my bitch, dude."
Maybe drunken Guitar Hero hadn't been the best idea ever. After half the bottle was gone, and they had lost the joy of being upright, the night had taken a turn. Side by side on the floor, backs against the couch, they decided this was where they should stay, toasting to Ryan (the bitch) and drowning their sorrows.
"I should have known better," Brendon whined. “I should know he wouldn't want me."
"What? Don't be silly. I'm surprised he doesn't. He must be in denial. What...with all the looks between you, and the sexual tension...really, I'm the deluded one here." Jon grimaced as he threw back another shot.
"Yeah right. You're the great Jon Walker -- the ‘savior of the band.’ You're so cool and great, and you actually understand half of the stuff he rambles on about. What the hell am I? The band spaz. The dork everyone tolerates because he makes them laugh occasionally. What do I have to offer Ryan?”
"Are you serious, Brendon?” Jon paused and shook his head incredulously. “Well, other than being the most fucking amazing musician I know? You're funny and sweet and caring and drop dead gorgeous. Look at yourself then look at me."
"I am looking at you." Brendon's gaze was suddenly soft and focused only on Jon.
"Yeah exactly. You see what I mean -- plain, ordinary, boring even. I'm not..."
Jon was suddenly cut off by Brendon's lips. Soft and tasting of limes and aggressively attacking his own. He had a moment of what the fuck and then his body took over. He was kissing back and tasting Brendon, and wow...who knew? Jon always knew Brendon's mouth was sinful, but he'd never actually thought about what that meant.
Brendon didn't know what had come over him. Jon said look at him. So he looked. Really looked. Tousled sex hair -- check, warm, soulful brown eyes -- check, sexy bad-boy scruff -- check...and then he got caught on the mouth. Soft, sensual lips that he'd never really noticed before, and they just looked so fucking delicious. He just wanted a taste, really. But suddenly he was straddling Jon's lap and leaning him back into the couch and thinking this...this is what Ryan ran away from? Is he insane?
My best friend is in my lap, kissing the shit out of me. Any thoughts Jon had of protesting flew out the window when Brendon's kisses moved to his throat, and he found his hands on Brendon's perfect ass. He was suddenly so hard it would have been embarrassing if Brendon wasn't obviously in the same predicament. His hands, now anchored on Brendon's hips, pulled down as his own hips arched up, grinding them together in just the best way, and a gasp escaped from his lips.
Brendon's hands had found their way under Jon's shirt and now he sat back to tug it over his head. "Jesus, you taste good." He leaned in again, and his mouth sought out the spot on Jon's throat that would make him moan and arch up like that again.
"I think uhhhhm...we need mmmmmnnggh...naked." Another great Jon Walker idea!
Brendon stood up and pulled his shirt off then looked down at Jon who was watching intently as he undid his pants and slid them off, too.
"God. You're beautiful, B." Jon sounded awestruck, and he reached out and pulled Brendon down -- his own pants open forgotten. He ran his hands worshipfully across Brendon's chest, the hard planes of his stomach, and oh! He just couldn't help himself...it was right there!
“Holy shit!" Brendon cried out as Jon's mouth wrapped around the head of his cock and slowly sucked him in. Jon's tongue was doing wonderful things along his shaft, and it was all he could do to keep from bucking forward. But then Jon's hands were on his ass, pulling him forward, and taking him all...the way...into his hot, wet, sucking mouth. Jesus! He was going to cum in 30 seconds if he didn't do something.
"Jon...ahh, Jon?"
"Hmmmm?" Jon looked up without missing a beat.
"C'mere." Brendon pulled him up to his feet and kissed him hard. "I thought you wanted to be naked." He slipped his hands into Jon's pants and shoved them down. Jon stepped out of them and kicked them aside. Brendon just stood there for a minute, taking him in.
"What?" Jon blushed under his scrutiny.
"How can you not know how hot you are?"
Then they were kissing again. Mouth to mouth, skin to skin, tongues entwined and cocks sliding together in the most tantalizing way, and Jon never even thought that he might regret it later. He knew what he wanted.
"Wanna fuck you, B,” he muttered into Brendon's mouth. "I want to take you. Right here, right now."
"Oh JesusGodFuck yes." Brendon sank back onto the couch before his trembling legs betrayed him.
Ryan slipped in the door quietly hoping to make it to his room without confrontation. He almost didn't see the bodies on the couch, and he almost kept walking when he did. But his curiosity got the better of him. His breath caught as he saw Jon and Brendon, naked, totally wrapped in each other, looks of bliss on both of their faces. They looked so beautiful. If he felt the stab of pain he ignored it. This solved his problem didn't it? Besides, he thought they both deserved better than him. They would be good together. They had always been so close. It made sense.
Gently, so as not to wake them, he placed a kiss on each of their heads then went to his room, alone.
No one had heard Spencer come home and slip into the dark kitchen. No one saw him sitting in the dark, contemplating. Brendon and Jon had been too caught up in each other. Ryan too intent on sneaking in, and then fixated on the pair on the couch.
But Spencer? Spencer saw -- and heard -- everything.
It should have been awkward waking up naked and sticky with your best friend. It should have been..but it wasn't. It felt like any other night they'd fallen asleep together after a night of drinking or a video game marathon. The mess was actually smaller than usual. They didn't feel up to jumping jacks, but, still, they weren't hungover. After the night's "festivities" were over they hadn't been very drunk anymore.
Jon started to pull himself up, but was stopped by a strong arm around his waist.
"No move. Warm," came a voice from somewhere at the other end of said arm.
"We have to shower B, or we're gonna be stuck to the couch forever."
"Mmmmhmmm. Couch. Forever. Stay Walker...Jon Walker."
"Come on...up! Upupup." Jon pulled free and began tugging on Brendon's arm to get him up, too.
"What's in it for me?"
"Shower, clean clothes -- breakfast?"
"Ugh -- how about a toothbrush? My mouth tastes like Spencer's socks."
"Why do you know what Spencer's socks taste like?"
"Uhm, he might have gagged me with them to keep me from singing High School Musical again."
Snort
Two showers and a lot of toothpaste later the two of them were sitting at the kitchen table. Jon contemplating his coffee, Brendon reading his Red Bull can, when Jon looked up suddenly.
"I think he's scared."
"What?" Brendon blinked. "Who?"
"Ryan. I think he's scared."
"Of what?"
"I don't know, getting hurt? Ruining the band? Losing his friends?"
Brendon sighed. "Yeah. Makes sense I guess. So how are we gonna fix this? We can't have Ryan running away from us all the time."
"We have to let him know that we're serious about this -- about him. That we wouldn't let anything hurt him or the band or..."
"You know, you guys, even if he does want one of you you'll never know." Brendon and Jon both jumped at the sound of Spencer's voice. We seriously need to put a bell on him!
"Wh-what are you talking about?" Brendon felt like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar or something. Spencer could be fierce when it came to Ryan.
"Ryan. He knows you both want him and it's killing him. He'll never choose one of you over the other." Spencer gave them an exasperated look. "Think about it. The band is his life. He'd never do anything to jeopardize it or your friendships."
"He has to know we wouldn't either!" Jon began. "We have to make him see..."
"Guys, guys. What if he does go for one of you? What are you planning to do about each other? What's it gonna do to your relationship?"
"Wha... " Brendon looked confused. Jon looked down at his hands.
"I'm not blind you know. Neither is Ryan. Next time don't do it on the couch if you don't want the whole world to know." Spencer winked.
"I don't..." Brendon began. "I mean... we're not... we just..." He looked to Jon, but Jon wasn't meeting his eyes. What the hell?
"Relax Bren. There's a solution to your problem. It's simple really." Spencer said this with a knowing smirk.
"Yeah? And just what would that be Mr. All-Knowing?"
"Three is a magic number." Spencer grabbed a donut off the counter and waltzed out the door, calling back over his shoulder, "Think about it."
Brendon looked over at Jon who was still studying his hands like he'd never seen them before. "Jon." Nothing. "Jon, please?"
Jon looked up and his eyes were sad. "I never wanted to be anyone's regret." His voice was quiet but heavy with emotion.
"What?...No! ...Oh J no. You're not... not ever. Last night was amazing -- you're amazing. I could never regret you!" But maybe that's not what this is about. "Do you? Regret?"
"No, that's just it. I don't. I feel like I found something precious."
"Yeah, me too. Something I didn't know I could have."
Jon reached over and took Brendon's hand. "It should have been yours from the beginning."
"I'm sorry." Brendon's heart was in his eyes. Please let him see.
"For what?"
"For being so focused on Ryan that I didn't see you right in front of me."
Jon leaned in and kissed Brendon, softly, chastely, with love. "You see me now."
"Yeah."
"So what do we do now?"
"Well, let's think about this. Like Spence said, Ryan doesn't want to choose between us."
"Right..."
"And now we're not too happy about choosing either are we?"
"No, definitely not."
"So, Spencer Smith is a genius."
"Huh?"
"Three is a magic number. Three. You. Me. Ryan. If he doesn't have to choose, we don't either! It's win/win/win."
Jon's face lit up like Christmas. "Spencer Smith is a genius."
"Yes! Now we just have to convince Ryan."
Later that day Ryan found a note stuck to his door.
Ryan,
We're sorry. We never meant to bombard you like that.
We never thought that maybe you wouldn't want to choose.
Now we understand more than you know.
We know we've been going about this all wrong...forgive us?
We realize we shouldn't divide our love -- we should share it.
We are yours,
B and J
Upon reading their note, Ryan relaxed a little. Now they seemed to be getting his reasons for putting them off. He was a little confused by that last line, but then Brendon often confused him.
He'd gone to Spencer's room and tried to talk to him about it, but all Spencer had said was "Ryan, you shouldn't be so afraid. Just follow your heart."
"What?"
"Seriously, if only I were into boys -- I'd kill to be in your shoes."
Snort. "Haley would kill you.”
Spencer jumped. "Speaking of..." he said, pulling his phone from his pocket. "Hey baby." He looked pointedly from Ryan to the door. "Talking to Ryan, but he was just leaving."
Sighing, Ryan headed for the bathroom. Maybe a nice hot shower would clear his brain.
Ryan was about four steps away from the shower when Brendon pushed past him pulling his shirt over his head.
“Brendon, what the fuck --”
“He who hesitates...” Brendon winked then leaned in close even as he was undoing his pants. “We can share if you want.”
Ryan froze as Brendon dropped his jeans and boxers in one fell swoop and stepped into the shower, not bothering to shut the curtain completely.
Oh My God -- he did not just strip down in front of me AND offer to shower together?
Ryan wanted to close his eyes. Really he did. He wanted to run away. But it was Brendon, and he was naked and wet and oh shit, shit, shit!
He started to back out of the bathroom, but was stopped by a hand on the small of his back. Before he could turn to see who it was he felt hot breath on his neck and Jon’s voice husky and heavy in his ear.
“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Ryan couldn’t help but stare as Brendon lathered up, rubbing lazy circles over his chest...his stomach... and trailing down between his legs where Ryan couldn’t quite see... and stroking...stroking.
“I bet he’s thinking of you,” came Jon’s hot whisper as Brendon leaned his head back into the spray, hands still stroking lazily. “Your hands touching...your mouth kissing...licking...”
The room was filling with steam and God it is so HOT in here. Ryan was so hard it hurt.
“You should join him. He’d let you take him you know -- right there in the shower...against the wall. Hard. And...”
Jon’s voice trailed off as Ryan shoved him aside and ran down the hall slamming the door to his room.
Brendon chuckled. “I’d say that went well. You coming in?”
“Of course!” Jon quickly shed his clothes and stepped in, wrapping his arms around Brendon. He pulled him in tight and pressed his growing erection into his backside.
Brendon, already hard and needy from the attention he’d been giving himself, and the thrill of teasing Ryan moaned softly and pressed back.
Ryan had run away, but he hadn’t escaped. Unfortunately for him his bedroom shared a wall with the bathroom, and as he lay panting on his bed, trying desperately to will away his painful erection, he heard quite clearly the soft moans coming from the shower. He tried to ignore it, but soon his hand found it’s way down inside the waistband of his pants. He had to get some relief somehow and the sounds from behind the wall were just so...
“Fuck me, Jon, please,” came Brendon’s strangled cry and Ryan gasped out loud, tightening his grip on his straining cock. With his eyes tightly closed all he could see was the image of Brendon, naked and dripping wet, leaning against the shower wall as Jon slid into him again and again.
And Brendon was indeed pressed against the wall in bliss as Jon rocked into him, and he felt himself getting close, so close, when Jon reached around and began stroking him with a steady pace.
“You want to come, B?”
“Yes, yes. Please, I need...”
“Come for us, B. Come for me, come for Ryan.”
“Oh God, Ryyyyaaaaan...” Brendon’s moan was strangled as he came, striping the shower walls.
Jon came just seconds after, and in their bliss they almost didn’t hear Ryan’s grunt of “fuck!” as he came over his hand and across his stomach.
Toweling off, Brendon leaned over to press a slow kiss on Jon’s lips. “That was amazing.”
“Yes, yes it was."
Ryan was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels, trying to find something he and Spencer could agree on when Jon sat beside him.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself."
"So, uhm, I know I kinda ruined your night out the other night and..."
"What?...no...I mean..."
"No, I know, I totally did, and I'm sorry. I wanna make it up to you." Jon took a deep breath. "So there's another private party tonight..."
"You're doing another appearance?"
"Wha...no. This one is just Tom, but we're on the guest list. That is if you want to..."
"I don't know." Ryan looked wary.
'It's not a date. I mean Bren's coming and..."
"Hey." Spencer piped up. "It sounds fun. We'll all go! And the boys will promise...” He grabbed Brendon's arm as he walked by. "To behave."
"Right! Solemnly swear." Brendon put his hand over his heart. "No come-ons, no kissing, no declarations of love."
"Just us having fun like the best friends we are." Spencer looked at Ryan pointedly.
"Well...when you put it that way..." Ryan couldn't think of any reason not to go. "I guess it's a plan."
So that is how Ryan found himself, dancing once again, on a somewhat crowded dance floor. Jon and Brendon were dancing close, laughing, looking into each other's eyes like they shared some profound secret. They look like they're in love. They surrounded Ryan and danced with him in the circle of their arms.
"Having fun?" Jon leaned in behind him and spoke into his ear.
"Yeah, I am actually." He leaned back into Jon and, with Brendon's hands on his hips, let them lead him in their dance, swaying to the music.
For a moment Ryan let himself enjoy how good it felt to be in their arms like this -- how right.
Then it happened.
Jon and Brendon's eyes met, and they leaned in and kissed over Ryan's shoulder. Nothing obscene, just a soft lingering touch of their lips, and then they pulled back, eyes shining and danced quickly out of his personal space.
Ryan blinked. They had barely even touched him yet he felt as if he'd been thoroughly kissed. He stood still in the midst of all the dancing bodies until he was snapped out of his daze by a quizzical look from Brendon.
"You getting tired?” He sounded concerned, almost guilty.
"Maybe a bit, just spacing out really." Ryan still felt flushed from the feel of their lips meeting just beside his ear, the feel of their breath on his cheek.
"How 'bout you sit -- and I'll go have them make you a drink. Something fabulous." Brendon grinned
"You trying to get me drunk?" Ryan grinned back.
“Are you kidding? After last time? If you get drunk this time Walker can clean up the bathroom!"
"Ugh." Ryan cringed. "No thanks. I think I'll pass."
"Yeah. Me, too. No worries, I'll get us some sodas."
"Awesome."
The rest of the night was filled with laughter. Brendon and ‘Hips Don't Lie’ had Jon Walker on the floor in near tears, and Ryan only slightly red-faced from watching the speed those hips could move. Brendon even got Spencer to shake his hips -- while Haley looked on amazed.
There was more dancing. There was food. There were drinks, though, true to his word, Ryan stayed away from the alcohol. He really couldn't remember when he'd had a better time. Ryan was almost disappointed when the party was over, but their high followed them home, and they stayed up talking and laughing, trying to convince Spencer to let them video him shaking his hips Shakira style.
Spencer's death glare finally put an end to that, and he and Haley turned in for the night -- Haley with a remark about putting his hips to better use.
Ryan was curled up on one end of the couch. Brendon was sitting at the other end. Jon sat at Brendon's feet with his head resting on Brendon's knee, facing Ryan.
They sat for a minute in silence and then Ryan spoke up. "So, uhm, are you guys, like, 'together' now?"
Jon and Brendon looked at each other and something seemed to pass between them. Then Jon sighed softly. "Yeah, yeah we are but...”
"But we're not complete yet," Brendon finished with a longing look at Ryan.
"How is that?" Ryan tried to make light of the implication. "Not enough for each other?" He smirked.
"No, it's not that." Jon looked Ryan right in the eye. "This sex thing is new between us. I think you know that."
Ryan nodded.
"But I think you also know what we've meant to each other since almost day one."
"Yeah," Ryan looked at them with soft eyes.
"It's what kept you from taking us up on our earlier 'offers' isn't it?" Brendon added.
"Yes."
"Well, what we have is real and it's solid." Jon was sitting up now. "You're not gonna take it from us no matter what you do."
"At the risk of sounding cheesy." Brendon smiled his dorkiest but most endearing smile. "We're enough for each other -- more than enough, and we want to share it with you. We want to love you. Hell, we already do. You can't change that."
"But we want you to love us, too." Jon spoke so softly. Ryan's heart almost broke thinking of how he'd treated him.
"Why me?" Ryan knew he couldn't deserve them.
"Because you're beautiful, and you don't even know it." Jon's voice was barely above a whisper now.
Brendon snorted. "Because you hide the Pop-tarts so you can have the last one."
"Because you have the soul of a poet." Jon was gazing into Ryan's eyes, and he couldn't look away.
"Because your eyes light up when you smile," Brendon said.
"Because you put taking care of us before your own happiness."
"Because you suck at Guitar Hero." Ryan rolled his eyes.
"Because you blush when we tease you." Jon winked.
"Because you're the only guy we know who can dress like a gay cowboy and still look like a rock star." Brendon ducked as a pillow came flying for his head.
"Because you're always trying to better yourself." Jon's voice was serious again.
"Because you crawl in my bed and hold me when I have nightmares." Brendon's eyes softened.
"Because you never made me feel like anything less than a full member of the band."
"Because you deserve it."
"Oh guys." Ryan's heart was racing, and he was seriously on the verge of tears. "I think I need to go to bed." He stood up and walked to his room, but not before seeing the look of disappointment that passed between Brendon and Jon.
"Yeah." Jon said softly. "We should, too. It's late."
Ryan lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking about everything they had said. More than what they'd said, too -- the way they'd looked at him when they said it, like he was the most precious prize in the world. He thought about how his heart raced whenever one of them was near, and how good it had felt to be in their arms for even just a moment. He lay there for what seemed like hours before he decided taking a chance be better than missing an opportunity.
He found them in Jon's room curled up together but not quite asleep.
"Guys?" Ryan's voice was tentative.
"Ryan?"
“Uhm...I...I don't want to sleep alone tonight.”
Ryan had expected teasing when he admitted not wanting to sleep alone. He thought they would laugh -- or make lewd comments. Something. But Brendon and Jon had simply pulled back the covers and made room for him between them. They wrapped him in their arms and held him until he fell asleep.
Ryan woke up several hours later confused as he seemed to have sprouted an extra leg in the night. Then as he remembered where he was. He smiled as he realized it was Brendon's leg entwined with his own. Brendon's arm was wrapped around his waist, and he could feel warm breath on the back of his neck. Not to mention Brendon's Oh hello there! erection pressing into his backside.
He shifted a little only to find that he had the same, er...problem. Ryan looked up to see Jon sleeping peacefully just a few inches from his face. Slowly, so as not to disturb Jon, he raised his hips and slid back, pressing into Brendon. He heard a sharp intake of breath then felt Brendon start to pull away.
"No. Stay," Ryan said quietly."Please."
"I have to go...uhm.. take care of something."
Ryan reached back and grabbed Brendon's hand and pulled it over, placing it on his own erection. "Something like this?"
"Yeah, exactly like that." Brendon tentatively rubbed at the bulge in Ryan's pants then hissed when Ryan ground back against him. "You want me to...?" Brendon slid his hand just under Ryan's waistband.
"Yes, please...touch me Bren." Ryan's voice was full of need.
Brendon slid his hand down around Ryan's cock and slowly started to stroke, leaning in at the same time to press kisses along the back of his neck.
Ryan let out a low moan and pressed back into Brendon again then whispered, "What about Jon?"
Brendon looked up and stretched his leg over Ryan and nudged Jon with his foot. Jon stirred a little but didn't open his eyes.
"Jon. Jon! Wake up."
"Hmmm? Wha...B, I'm trying to..."
"Ryan has a problem."
Jon's eyes opened and he looked at Ryan. "What is it? What's wrong Ry?"
Ryan's eyes were glassy, his head thrown back against Brendon. Jon looked confused until Brendon looked at him pointedly, and he looked down and saw Brendon's hand moving beneath the fabric of Ryan's pants.
"Oh." A slow smile spread across Jon's face. He reached over and cupped Ryan's face turning him to look in his eyes. "What do you want Ryan?"
"You," Ryan breathed. "I want...ohhhh...you...both of you."
Jon reached down and slid Ryan's pants off, tossing them aside. His breath hitched at the sight of him, hard and straining in Brendon's hand, as he leaned in and kissed him, hard and deep.
Ryan put a hand on Jon's chest and pushed him back. "Bren, too," he panted. "Take off Bren's too."
Jon did as he was told and kissed his way down Brendon's thighs as he pulled them off.
"Oh fuck!" Brendon groaned as Ryan pressed back against him.
Ryan turned to face Brendon to pull him in for a kiss and pressed against him so their cocks slid together with perfect friction. It was then he had to slow seeing as he was getting close, so close, and he could tell Brendon was, too. He couldn’t let this end so quickly.
"Jon." Ryan looked into his eyes. "I want you."
"Yeah, I'm here." He leaned in and kissed Ryan's hipbone, gradually increasing the pressure to mark his skin.
"Ahhhhh s-shit ohhhh n-no," Ryan stuttered. “I mean... Jon. I want you... inside...n-now."
"Oh jesus," Brendon gasped.
"Yes, oh yes, uhhhm..." Jon reached under the bed where he'd last thrown the lube. He slicked himself up quickly, and then he was there pressing in. "Ohhhhhgod..." Ryan was so fucking tight and hot and, "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck...."
Ryan cried out and came, bucking into Brendon.
Brendon, who'd been biting the inside of his cheek to keep from coming, lost control when he felt the hot wetness on his stomach, his cock -- OhGod -- and fell to pieces.
Jon thrust hard and rode Ryan through his orgasm then came deep inside as he watched Brendon, pupils blown and mouth open, ride out his own.
They collapsed into a sticky, but blissed out, heap.
After several minutes Ryan grabbed Jon's hand then Brendon's and clasped them together over his heart.
"So," Ryan spoke up. "We're doing this."
Brendon's grin lit up the room as Jon said, "Yeah, yeah. We're doing this.”
From somewhere down the hall came a voice."It's about Goddamn time!"