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Just The Way I'm Not

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I am a student at Shirewood Academy. My friend Harry and my brother Gandalf are my best friends. Most of the kids there are losers and they're barely any scene people there apart from me Harry and some other scene but Gondalf is "normal". (He likes katy perry omg ew). Oh what's my name you ask? Lindley Skullringz.

I heard my alarm clock and opened my eyes. I turned it off and closed my eyes. I closed my eyes and then I sat up. I smiled because even through it was monday I was happy because I WOULD SEE MY CRUSH TODAY AT SCHOOL. His name is Bilbbo Baggins and he has AMAZING dyed red hair with green bangs. he has a The Wanted (best band EVER xDDDDDD!) hoodie that he always wears and it smells SO GOOD. he has the coolest tumblr (I f*cking LOVE it even tho i'm new to it) in school!

I went onto the bus and rolled my eyes at the bus driver who always eyed me weirdly cause i'm a scene then I walked to the back of the bus where Harry was saving a spot for me. But Bilbo was sitting in the middle of the bus with a stupid popular girl and i was so frustrated so instead of sitting down with Harry I went to see bilbo and the bitch sitting next to him.

"Hi billbo" i frilted

"Hi Lindley" he replied silently holding that naturally blond bitch's hand tightly glaring up at me.

"OMG WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH!" I screamed

"I don't hate you…" he mumbled and frowned up at me as if I were a little green man.

The loser sitting next tp him raised an eyebrow and grimaced at me then flipped her hair. "You fucking bitch.." I muttered loudly and then turned around forcing myself not to kick her in the crotch.

Some stupid goths and popular kids snickered and shook their head. I cried angrily and sat down next to Harriet.

"Why doesn't he like me…" i sighed unhappily.

Harry blushed and looked away just like there was sumething he wasn't tellling me.
"Whaat's wrong?" i tilted my head.

"Nothing" he answered and looked out of the window sadly.

"Tell me.." I attempted at comforting him with a pat on his shoulder.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" he sobbed and went to sit somewhere else. I wondered what i did wrong.

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When we got out of the bus that idiot goth girl was walking with Bilboo of course but i tried to walk to Harry but he was already walking fast to the campus. I frowned.

Bilbo and whatever-her-name-is got into a fight and Bilbo started crying but the goth girl slapped him in the face mercilessly and waked away from him and smiled at her girlfriend (omg not in that way hahaha ew)

I got next to Dilbo and smiled at him. "What's wrong? "
"God she's such a bitch i never want to talk with her again!"

"Ughhh i know right! she doesnt even wear hair extensions!"

"Yeah."

SUddenly ron (a cool scene bi guy who always talks to bilbo and never me) ran up to us exitedly

"Hai gaiiiiis! Im having a partay tonite! Wanna cum?"

I gasped

I've never been invited to ron's parties before

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"SURE OMG!" i screamed passionly.

"Yeah sure man" Bilbo nodded.

"cool! invite cool peeps!" Ron said unpretetiusly

"omg i heard that ron's parties are the best!" i said once ron was gone.

"yeah theyre gr9!" Ron assured me.

I couldnt beliegve it

Bilbo was actually talking to me for once!

"Are you bringing a date?" i said sadly, hoping if he waz it wusn't the popular gilr.

"Well i was hoping that you could be my date" he said to me beriefly.

"OMFG OF COURSE" I breathed out deeply and happily.

This was the best moment of my life! But there was sum thing I didn't know : were the gothic gurl snd Bilbo broken up? Cause if they are then I would totally have a chance with Bildo !

"Du you think Hermoinee will be eajlus? he asked me concernedly .

"Wait who's Hermoieer?" I asked him confuesed.

"My fuxking girlfriend Lindley! WAKE UP" the way mx name rolled off his tongue was so fucking sexu

"Oh I'm sorry but no she slapped you babe I think she is pretty over yu now don't you fingk?" I questioned. I was hurt that he was still considering 'Hermoinee' as his gf she's such a loser ughhh.

"Yes but tbh I'm scarred of her she is so creepy and she pays me money so that we stay together I don't care you know what? Let's go out and she will ne jelly but that is her problem not our ok."

I frowned seductively. So Bilbe actually did t like Hermoinee then… (AN (author's note): hermoinee is hot but Bildo is hootter (and so is martin freeman hehe)!ican say dat cause im bisexyal olay?!)

So I grinned up to Bikbo and nodded "Ok so let's go to Ronny's party togetha!""

"OMG suivre" he said to me aS we walked In the corridor of our school.

Some weird hipsters stared at me and I hit one it the face with fury and depression. Some people laughed but soe cried understandding my sadness. Soem even smild, not nowing wut 2 do part frm ignoRING (AN (author's note): do u get it because lord of the RINGs)

Harry didn't even look at me he was probably mad at me for being wit Billy but I mean weare totally just friends he should not be frustrated if I date Dibly right? Omg so I walked to my locker (that was right next to Tom Bombadils a cool scene guy from my goemetric glass) even if I felt like slutting my wrasts and opened it depressingly.

In it was...A LOVE NOTE!

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"Dear Lindley

Ur eyes are like gErard's Way but 10x sexier

i luve the way you walk and the way you smile

i wanna hold ur hand kiss ur lipz

will u let me be the one to wear ur eyes I want them so XD

With love from th guy who loves u Moist

-H"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" i squealed excited ly while fiercley weggling my eyebrow

someone…...LIKE LIKED ME! maybe it was...Tom Bombodel! (Ever1 calls him Cherry Bomb now) but if he liked me why hasn't he said a word to me yat? Like we haven't even. Like talked once.

"What's that?" Harry came up to me I'm my locker and frowned down AT&T the love note in a way that was f he aked curiosity and confusion staring at it seductively.

"Nun off yure busiwaxzz!" I screamed sex like

"OH COME ON LINDLEY LEMME SEA" he whined like a

sexey god.

"fiiiiiiiiiiineeeee" I moaned seductiv e

He smuled finelly and grabbed the note really sexely then read it. God i never noticed how sexy he was b4 also I have a thang for guys with yellow eyes but still i love Bibloo more but Harry is still hot 2 me.

"Someone likes you? Their name stars with an H… do you think its Halmir? He's so small and not hot thouugh.. (AN (authors note): yeah coz Harry is gray if you have a problem wifh grays get the f*ck out of here!) I don't know but… do you know anyone who's name starts with H? mine does but im totes gray" Harry asked

"Um….not really and who is Halmir? ? ? ? ? ?" i asked

"he's This dude that does stuff i think." i said said

"Oh yeah that guy!" i shouted excitedly "But hes too ugly to have a crush on me." suddenly it dawned at me! "OMFG WHAT IF I GET SHELLROCK HOMES (AN (authors note): i wish i could be f*cked by Benneic Comberbutch) TO RESEARCH THISFOR ME!" i screamed grimmly.

"SHELLRLOCK ID THE SMARTEST (and hUttest) GUY IN SCHOOL (besides bibko also hes gray i think i)!" Harry Potter screamed ok an authors notte the teachhurs doont care fi students sceatm at woodshire high ok shut up)

It so happened that shellrock was walking by at that moment.

"SHERLOCK SHERLOCK SHERLOCK" we whimpered at him seductvely an(authors note)(but hes gray so it doesnt really matter)

"What" he said as he brushes his AMAyZING dyed green bangs out of his eyes but they fall back on it and its so sexy omg. "I'm busy callculating 2x5x678x821986969-73243:)!"

"I need you to solve some thing for us" I told him grumbeyly.

"Whaaaat isss itttt" he hissed in annoyance atd rolled his eyes. I think he doesn't like Harry very much because he is not a Muggle he is a wizzaared and really not as smart as Shercock is.

"There's this love letter I got and well like it's signed 'H' so me and Harry are trying to figure out who it is!" I explained and handed him the letter written in text slang and bad handwritting and he scoffed.
"Sure I guess…" he flipped his teesed hair and grinned at his boyfriend that walked by (AN (authors note) : like i said if u have a problemo with grays gtfo also MARTIN FREEMANE 3 "Isn't he so effing hot OMEG"

I snickered shortly and squealed afterwords "So… your gonna solve the H case? " I screamed unable to hide my exitment from him. Harry looked bored and so he stated to sex up some other scene dudes and made Converse (AN(AN): XDXD XD XD) )with them.

"I think so…? I–I'll try maibe…" he sighed emo. (AN (authors note): alright so Sherlocko is emo but he is still really nice but he isn't scene so it's not the suaem think duh (if you have a prblm with emo ppl gtfio cuz sherlock s nice) also he's grray) "Have you tried Halmir?" he said abortinably as he pursed his lips hotly.

"Yess but he is not attractive adn I would be too hot for him so let's fourget Halmir! Try something else your smart u'll figure it out!" I insisted insistently.

He groaned. "you're right i am really smart" he said modestly. "but I can try helping you with this case…...I think" tearingly he said

"YAAAY!" I yelled petpendicularly (AN (ahthorss naute): i love that noun) as I hugged him but he pushed me away with the excuse that he had a bae and also he was gray so he didn't like to hug gills.

He smiled sadly and sat down crossleggedly on the floor closing his eyes and being in his mind palace

"What are you doing?" Harry I asked abruptly as he sat don in the ground to look at Sherlock in the eyes.

"imm in my mind place... I...need...to...concentrate...now shuttup."

I shurgged but sat down as well not giving a shit about the people that wanted to pass in the halleyways and waiting for John to give me a name.

I straightforwardly had no clue.

"Hagrid."

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"Hagrid?" I repeated stonily.

"Hargird" Sherlock sWuelchily replied.

We stared at each other in awkward silence for a monet. B

"how do u know its hagrid" Harry potter piped in

"I dunno I just do" Sherlock Holmes popped out

"oh ok makes sense now!" I squealed really hot like cause im the hottest girl in scol.

"But that means he is a pedo file coz he is like 60 or something! And he is the fucking Janetor!" I panted. "this is so scarey oh god"
Harry scratched his elbow awkwardly and leaned against a locker as he looked lovingly at me.

"We shuld still talk wit him also harriet why r u starin at me lyk that ur gray"

"is he even HERE RIGHT NOW?" Sherlock ALMOST screamed.

I and harry tilted our heads to the lefty. "We can ask if som1 hass seen him round"

Suddenly Legolas this guy that looks like Patrick Stump (AN (author's note): isnt MCR just perf) except in less hott listened in 2 hour convo. "What are you guyz talking bout?"

"Some guy that did a thing…" I sighed tiredly.

"Who is the guyy?" Legolas asked depressingly. He was also a scene dude so I really lked him but sometimes he was just really boring and has a strange vioce.

"Harghrid" Sherlock ran a sex like hand in his hot maessy hair.

"Oh I saw him in the boiloigy class like five secs agoo!" Lego told us while polishing his nail black and green and yhello.

"QUiCK!" Harry shouted exhautedly and pushed Legos away frum os so we coud running to the biOlogy glassroom.

sherlock ran after us sighing exhausteldy.

"u guys r absolete p-nuts"b he whispered loudly. a bunch of ewhipster loosers stared at us.

LATER THAT DAY

i showed up 2 Ronn's partie wearing a bright red sexy dress with clits on the side that showd of my curves and black fishnets and brawn heills nd a neon green lace bar, a matching thong, rlly intense smokey eys, bright brightred lipstic. I wad with Bilbo and Harry was with Shellrock and Her moinee was not hre (proably cuz she didnt find any1 to go wit and didnt wanna go alone). I couldnt dee Ronn anywhere but i penetrated the house with Bildo by my sid and moaned as they put a verry good scene sung.

IT WAS MY FAVORITE ALL TIME LOW SONG (Weightless) !

"OMG DANCE WITH ME," I grumble and forced Ciblo to dance with me and he smiled bcuase he liked the song as well.

Some people booed to the song and i punched them in the face.

Shellrock was adncing with Harry kissing his ear hotly.

(AN (authors note9: oh my god arent they so fkcng howd!)

Bilbo leaned closed to me and hugged me as he sexyli denced ground againt me. I felt so aroused and moaned harshly singing to the song.

"I wanna feel weightless 'cuse that woold be enof..!" me and Dbilbo sang it in unison

Other cool scene kids sang as well but some sighed and 1 even trid to kick the speaker

I was so frustratted cuz it was such a god song

"LINDLEY I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING 2 YOU." viblo blurted ut.

"SAY IT!" I screamed cause the music was rlly lawd.

"I LOVE YOU, KATHEY" he scorffed and shook his head.

I"LOVE YUO TOO" i i said but then took his haend and headed to the couch. He blushed and tried to hide it but we both giggled and i kissed him on the cheek as i penetrated through thr vrowd and we both sat down on rons cuch with BIblo.

He shoved me in the chouch and kissed me hard andi breathed out wildly. "Bilbo…."

he toock of my bar a nd my dress. I moaned as i touched his member. he was so hard, so i took his shirt off. i was so f*cking wet.. he touched my p*ssy thrugh my thong. i moaned, causing the ssscene guys & girls (theyre bisexya) to ,asturbate to me…

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bilboo touched my p*ssy again, and it wuz so moist omg. i moaned louder (it felt so god) and the mastubatag people moved closer. Shellrock came over with his bae, John, and they started making out on the couch wth us. Harry came over with Hermainee and wee all made out 2 gethr , Jon kissD Bible and liked hIS earlobe "Oooh baby ur so howt"

"HE IS MINE YOU MUMMYFUCKING SUN UF A BIATCH" I screamed dresppresing ly at DR. Whatsun

Ever1 gasped and shook their h ead in disapointmnt at John and Sherlokc kissed John's mouth then thrusted into him lubelessly.

"DAMON FUCK FCK FUCKK" Stefan shooted frm the guyz bathroum. Elene frownd and ran ther 3 see what wuz guing on

(she was probably worried chuz she didn't no that Demon and Stef were having sexy and throught fromthing waz rong.)

Biblo wasd so friking hut! he kissed me hashly and put his hard penis in my p*ssy and fucked me hart untl i cryed his name ovr eand over fgagain

Some ther ppl were having sex as well, and tere were bearly anyuno dansing.

"SAAAAAM" I herd Deen frm SPN scream frum the othr couch next 2 hours.

Casteeal and Crawrey from SPN wer ALSO having sex and they were write ntx too us. I wuz so distracted dat i dont nptice hm grabbing my p*ssy and slicking me fast

"Ohhhhhh BILBO! MORE PLZ" i screamed

Deen and Sam from SN stopped havin sex and cum

Demon and Steg also

Billdo leaned down to kiss me and i suddenly cum

"BILDO! ! " icecreamed (AN (Aouthors Notw): im so random XDXDXDXDXDXXX)

Bolbi also came and so did everyone in the rom.

I duddenly locked down at my tummy

"FUCK!" i telled loudly

I was..

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!PREGO!

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"I shuldve used lube DAMMIT"Vilbo shot.

I scried and cried until my eyes heart. "I am 2 young for thiss!"

Some people laughed and some went to pet my hair and my belly and i puched them away frustrardedly.

"GET OFF YOU Fç'CKERS" I stood up and ran out cesrimming, pumching Deen on my waz o ut

(my parents wer dead so i loved on my own si i didnt hav 2 worry aboot what my parent s would thank)

I grabd a bottl ov been from the frige and sat down at mi computear and looked at BIelboos Tumblr blpg.

I wens on his asK and wrote a questiun "I WISH U WOULD DIE I HATE U " and forgot to put anonymus

"SHIT" I cri ed even mor cuz if Biblo lookd at his s Tamblr he would cry becuz he loved me

"rE u ok?" my my mom called frum dounstars

"NO!" icecreamed (looll xDXDXD ICECREAM!) "MY LIFE IS RUINED!

"OMG WUTZ WRONG"

i froze

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i coudnt let my pa rents find ozt i wuz pregny!

 

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I queckly run aout of the window and spalshed on he groud fastely. i needt to see bilbo b4 he sew the messge

I knowed he cjecked is tumblrawrrrr off 10 so i would B lockey if he ahdn't sen it yat.

I flew on my bick and bicked all th wayy 2 BilbO's housee (AN (authors noteeee/) : I know his huse cuz ov the sutobus school cuz he getz out b3 me and so i cann see wher he livess)

V'''''' ''''''''' '''''''''' ''''''''''' '''''''''''' '''''''V

RAWRXDDDDD

"BILBO" I whispred as i rung the doorball.

I wayted untal he opened the door an i smiled tensly.

"heeyy!" he grims and t I walk in.

he frowns sincerily. "Is smth wrong?"

I laugh "WHAT DU U THINK? . I AM PREGNAT" I cry wimply.

Bilbo looks dawn. "I really shuld ove used lube…..." he sighs.

i sit dawn on the floor nxt 2 the dior. "whut's lube?" i frown desppresspingly.

"some stuff that makes u not prego."

I nod in undrstading. it made sense now.

"Anyway my dad touk my computrl away fm me so i cant use TUmblr…do u mind if i use urs?"
"no us go ahead" he replied sexily.

I smiled and opn is laptop and deleted the question quickly. "Thanks" and i closed the laptop and sighed hoppily.


DAYS LATER

I wuz walking in the hallway of Shorewood & sum point Brittany S pears came up 2 me hlding crayonz in her hands and waved. "Haiiiiiii… is it tru ur pregnat?"

I lookd dawn and punched her hottly. "I DDN'T USE LOBE AND NOW I HAVE A BBY. Anyway u have nice hair can i have it"

(aN (authord notes): HAHAH LOWL IM SO RANDOM XDDDDDDD sorry)

She cried sadly and walked away slowly .

Some cold kids came u p to me and smiled and HI Fived me sevral tames.

Idk why maybe the just thank bieng prengat is rlly cool. it isnt such a bad than g after all tright?

I met some prengant gurls maybe pprbly copying me cuz hvaving a bby is the new cool 8). "HELLO" sme pply told me.

I went to my locker and Bilbo :)

I winged fu*king sexily and laughed." Every1 thinks im cool now omg this will B the best year!" I singseng.

Some rlly h0t guyz frm spn sat nxt to me, Dilf o, Sherllock, Joan, DNA Ronard lunch.

There was Crowlay, Same, Cas, Deen (who looked rlly pissed me prbbly 4 pushing in3 him), a dude that haz a grush on me called Metatron he is so f*CKING EW, mish, & alsopropular kids…

everything was going the way a wanted it 2.

I had Bibloo' s babe, I was with the popular ppl (mos t uf them R goff but i can deal with it DEan is a f*cking hottie he is like d so hot that the walls burn haahHAHHAH but still he is scene YES)

(an (arthur's notes): I love janson Ashley)

so we ate chips and fish omelette with cranberrz juice ad Dean was such a pig lol he ate so much pie & all that he kept eatign wuz cake and i took a monet to speak with him.

"You like cake?" i said grossd out

"Yeah duuhi is like the best fooD.."

I nodded hot. "i dont rly like it sorry"
He gap ed and his face fell on the top of the cake.

He didnt move.

i graped and took my fone out od my povcket.. "Im calling an anbullence!"

every1 looked at me dramaticaly.

i dielled nine one on and cried.

"91q, whats ur emernancy?&"

"Deen Wunchester fainted on hi cake!" i shouted. " Idk but i think he isnt breathing we need a ambuleance at Shirewud Acadmey!"

"Ok well b there in a monet!….."

I hun up n then stroked Dean's hair lovingly.

Some ppl wer panticking but some jus jept on eating theyre foo

I walke in Dena's hopital room & kissd his forehead he had cake iceing all ofver his feces.

"Hi how r ur dong?" i asked him sexily. Shelrock huged Deena and cried all over his hot body.

Deen nodded hotly "yeah they gave me drugs omg"

"lol" i repiled "lcukey"

"ikr!" he lauffed. "Dey make me hurny"

Sherlock kissed jon and walked out of the hspotial rool to leave me &Deen aline.

"so i heard ur baby is a dude..."Is he gray? ?

"yeah" i nodded sadly "idk how to name him..u have eny ideas?"

"Em u coul d call him Deen? m?ay be…?" Deen proposed sexlikely.

"omg best idea thank u" i told him trankfilly. sudenly

he leaned furward n kissed me I kissed himnback. I clamed n top of him abd wwe made outie

wen me and Harry wer o ut of the hopsitel he looked

"wuts wrong?" i was so cunfuddled.

"emmmm well i need 2 say sumthang…"

"ok sure tell mee.." i insisted seducavely. larry steppd forweard & smiled ten steped frowad quickely and b4 i new it he was sexaly kissing me and we where making out and he drapped me 2 the wall.

Suddanly he bressed his and & stroke my belly groughyl. I gasped enjoyang but pushed away still

"wait garry ur grey!" i shouted in confusino.

lindley dont u fet it!" he screamed seductive "u

make me str8

"omsg rly! ! I didn't know I had that affect on people lol" I lied

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I DID KNOW I HAD THAT AFFECT ON PEOPLE!

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He frowned sadly at me and i kissed him “barry harry “ i panted and kissed him

“i lick u, lindlay,” he whiskered sexily.

“i lik U2!!!!!!!!” ((AN avatars notes:) HAHA OMG BC U2!!!!!)

hE stated 2 ake off my shirt and i took off his plad jacket. I then grabbed my bra and throw it on the metric floor. He took his shirt and pantts off and i kissed his arm whilst he licked my belly, and took off the rest of my  clothers…

…..”fu*ck omfg lindlay i think im in luv wif u s”

“mee too Martin freeeman"

“did u just call me-”

“OMFG YES YES YES” I CRied as he put his ******** in my ******* and i cry out loud.

“....LINDLEEEYYY” He mourns. His throbbing d*ck felt so fuc*ing good in my moist vag*na

Suddenly he kried out "NIKBO! !!!!!!!" AND CAME ON ME

"WHAT THE FUCK" ICECREAMED (LOLOLOLOL ICE CREAM)  BCAUAE THAY WAS NOT MY FUVKING MANE

“OMFG I M SO SIRI “ HE ICECREAMED BACK

“U LOVE..LIBLOB??????” I CRIED CAREFULLY

“OK I DO IM SORRY LINDLAY BUT I LIKE U TOO”

“WTH IS GOING ON??????????????” BILBO POPPED OUT OF THE WALL AND SOBED.

“I WUZ DOING IT WIT LARRY AND..HE SAID UR NAME “ LINDALY CRIED.

THIS WAS TOO MUCH I WENTED 2 CRY SO BAD BUT I HOLD UP MY TEARZ CUZ I DIDNT WANNA CRY IN FRONT OG BIELBO.

“Y ERE U DOING IT WITH HERRY?? I THROUGHT WE WHERE 2GETHER…! UR MY  BBY MMOMMY LINDALEY.”
“I KNOW BUT HE KISSED ME IM SORRY BILBO.”

 

“SHE KISSED MEEE!!!!!!!” HARRY SEID DEFFENSSIVELY.

“NO I DDINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I SHOUTED THRUGH DA SUOND OF BEES.

BILBO STARTED 2 DRY HARD. “I HATE U2 SO MUCH” AND HE WALKED OFF. (AU:(AUTHARS NOZE) : OMG HE HATES U2 :OOOOOOOOOO)

"HJUST STOP OT U DICKS! !!!!!" I SCREAMED LOKE SHIT" I LOVE U BOTH"

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AM (athors name): THX 4 the comment Xx enoby darkmess xC on archiev ov ur own Ur awesum xx im so hppy that ppl finaely like this dstory haha the stupd bitchez that said it was stupid r so f*ckin anoyang no 1 eveiwed on fanfactor . net xxxx

luv u all life sucks1

-kathryn Harmon


 

Dilbi cries sadly

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~~~~~X.X.X.X.X.X.X._.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X>X.X.~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MEANWHILE IN DEAN;S ROOM

 

Castial walked into Dean;s hopitale room Dean was lying there peaceful and sleeping Cas was Deans brother so they;re not like together..…

«Oh hey Castial!» said Dean

«Hey Dean Winchester:» said Dean

«Longtime no see:» said Dean

«How our you?»

«Lindley, the girl that i;m love with said she doesn;t like pie so I fainted and now I;m in here lol»

 

BACK WITH BILBO, HARRY AND LINDLEY

 

«Wtf??» Bimbo and Harry explained surprisingly

«I love both of you! You;re both tall and handsom, I love you both so much. Lets stop fighting and cum (AN(AUTHRS NOTE) lol alex is punnyxdxd KAWAI im sp random lololol) back to my place and have bi:sexy?»

Suddenly the school principal, Dumbeldore, appeared out of a corner.

«I heard that?» He exclaimed calmly. «Students are not allowed to have sexy with each other! 2 weeks detention?»

«F*CK!!!!?» we all screamed. My parents are gonna kill me once they find out.

 

《《《《《《÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷》》》》》》

 

«YOU GOT WHAT?????!!?» my mom, Mcgonnagol Potter, screamed.

«Its not a big deal!!!?» I screamed back at her.

«YES IT IS!!!!?» My dad Smaug screamed

«Oh my god I hate you I wish you weren;t my parents?» I screamed and ran upstalrs Smeug, fisted frustradingly.

«What the f*ck is wrong with you loser?!!!?» They screamed after me

«I hate my life so much»I whispered as I turned away slammed the door here I stand here I stay let the storm rage on the cold never bothered me anyway (authors note i,m really random lol sorry)

 

«Im sorry okay but Dumbledore is a Mean Girl?» (AM (author;s monday (an: Authors note) It;s monday DDD: i h7 nun day skewl sucked :( ew ew eweweweweweww (an (aturthors noteception xdxdxdxdxdxd))) zomg Mean Gurl XDXDXD bast mova ever (an: authors note) but i don;t rlly geet it /:/: )

«OMFG I H9 YOU PARENTS!!!!!!!» I screamed.

«GO TO YOUR FUCK*NG ROOM!» my parents unison-screamed ruthlessly.

«nO?» I lied

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I amwas going to my bedroom..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!£!!!!!!!!!!!!!£`p!!!!!!!

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☀☼☽☾☁☂☔☃★☆☇☈♠♣♛♜♝♞♟♔♕♖♗♘♙⚁⚀♋☯☯☯☖⚉☊♃~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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5 Seconds (of Sumer)later(AN(XDAUTHORS NORTH) zOmfg lol xdxd 5sos is so guud <3y3 PICKACHOOSE U!!!!!! SO RANDOM ROAWRxdxdxdxdxdxdxdxdxdxdx«)

 

i ran up the stairs

«I hate my life so much» i whispered as I turned away slammed the door here I stand and here I stay let the storm rage on never cold bothered me anyway. ((I LUV FROZEN (ATHEIST;S NOTES) i;m so  random hahahahahhahaha=)

I picked up my rasor and begun cutting my wrists then licking the blood off because I wanted to commit suicide.

 

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1 hour of summer later (AN) (authors notifications)(XDDDDDDDDDzomeg))

 

I was lying in my bed crying because I couldn;t commit suicide.

Suddenly I heard a rock being thrown at my window. I walked out and saw Bilbo standing under my window with a super pretty guitar.

Oh my god he is so cute!!!!!!!!!, I thought scenely.

«Lindley, I love you!:« He yelled from my backyard. He started playing a beautiful song in French (an(AUTHORS note): ALEXXXXXXXXXXX <3 <3 hes from the french so he speeks it <3 <3 ITS SO sExE LOL UR SEXE loljk jkjk or am i <3 anyway hes a poet so he wrote dis <3)

«mec cette conne pense que je suis un poète mais en fait je suis seulement en train de parler à propos de fesses. fesses. fesses. fesses. je hai ma vie. fesses. kathey (AN(authores note) LOL DAT ME NAME) est vraiment stupide litérallement, mon dieu..»

«Oh my god Bilbo?» I moaned.

«I wrote that for you <3« He replied.

«That was beautiful! I can;t believe you wrote that?»

«Your eyes inspirated me.»

«I;m grounded.»

«Why?»

«Because we got detention.»
«Ah. My parents don;t care¨¨»

«Mine do. So I;m grounded.»

«Can you sneak out? I actually came here to tell you that Ron;s having a party tonight, and maybe you;d like to go with me?»

«Oh my god of course!?»

I put on my sexiest dress EVER. We went out and had fun

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~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(divisions will be our okay, Alex!!!!!!!!!! (lol da fault in our stars))~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE NEXT DAY~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I woke up in my bed and I was having contractions. I was giving birth to the baby!

«AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!?» I screamed (AN(AUTHORS NOAT): alex said «icecreamed« is stupid :(:(:( its ok i still like u <3)

«Is everything ok?» My parents ran into my room.

«I;m giving birth?» I screamed (AN(authoes nore) icecream though ::()

My parents drove me to the emergency hopital, where I gave birth to Harry;s baby.

Bilbo came to see his son. «Oh my god he;s beautiful?» what;s his name?»

«Alex, after my first love« (AnAUTHOUTSNOTE): ALExXXXXxXXXxXxxxxxxxxx gassgarthhhhhhHHHx<3 ALL TIME LOW!!!!)

«That;s a beautiful name?» Bilbo awwwed. Everyone in the city came to see the baby since I was the first teenaged to get pregnant in my town. Bilbo kissed the baby and me on the forehead. I looked around the room and there was one face that was frowning. Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony!!!! (anauthorsnote pinkie pie is liek a human in my stor okokokokkok???? ALEX ILIKEYOU)

*Why the fuc* is Pinkie Pie mad at me?* I thought.

======================+++++++++++++++++==============+++++++++++&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=============++++++++++++++++++++++===================================+++++++++++++++++==============+++++++++++&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=============++++++++++++++++++++++===================================+++++++++++++++++==============+++++++++++&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=============++++++++++++++++++++++===================================+++++++++++++++++==============+++++++++++&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=============++++++++++++++++++++++===================================+++++++++++++++++==============+++++++++++&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=============++++++++++++++++++++++===================================+++++++++++++++++==============+++++++++++&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=============++++++++++++++++++++++===================================+++++++++++++++++==============+++++++++++&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&=============++++++++++++++++++++++============= LATEEEEEER DAT DAY

 

I walked out of the hospital with Bilbo and Harry and Alex (An Author;s Anotation!: ALL TIEM LOEW <3<3<3Y3<3<3ILY9) in my arms and walked to the school with them. (an:(atuhor;s nobles) A lot of kidz in the town hadv childran so they let bbys in HishireWood Ac.)

I went to French class (AN (authors noses) HAHA ZOMG ALEc U ARE SO GOOD AIN THE FRENCH GLASS!!!!) with Harry Sherllrock, John, Harry, Alex, Dean, Biglo, Gandalf, Pie Pink, Castial, Crowrey, Kanye West, and so many wizards.

We learned stuff and Bilbo was bored cause he is so good in french (ALEX<3) so he watched Batman.

Alex cried in the middle of the class so we got to leave b4 the other wizards. Me and Dean and John and Alex and Harry and Bigolo hopped back to my house.

I breast bed Alex as we trotted up the stairs, and Bivlo was singing Fal out boy songs(an authors:nope) <3333)

Harry was practising spells for his OWELS exams and we got in my room (AM(author’s vogue): zemg stup thfinking so dritily hahahahaha)

I sat down on my bed and Gandalf went two his room whilst Pink Piè, Cestial, Growrey, Alex, John, Sheralock, Harry, Keny, Sam sat on the ground in front of me and smiled up.

Chapter Text

I, Lindley Skullringz, walked down the stairs to get a coffe. It was dark & scary and i humed up to do my coffe quickly and fastly. Suddenly, out of the darc someone grabbed me frm behind and I moaned “What du un what with me?!!!!”

The attaker laughed scenely. I wanted 2 kiss him. “Katherine I want you!!”

I screamed for Gidlo’s help.

No one came (an(notes):hahahahahahaha lel came ged it) “I am lord Voldemorte and I am here 2 fgive you the Dark Stain!”

“No pls I’ll do anything you want!!!!”

He was so fu*cking hut.

“WHAT IS GOING ON???!!!!” screamed Harry with a big gasp. He was really attractive in that moment. “Avada…:” began Voldemor

“No!!” Bigolo came in and knocked the Dark lord out!!!!!

 

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(i luv u alex n)

We tied the noseless monster on the wall and Harry kicked him as his scar hurt bad.

“Why ME????!!” I screamed wif hotness and bad*ssness.
“Because your the chosen 1 lindley.”

We all glared at him in sorrow.

EVERYone wuzZ DSO HOT I CNAT

get away frum hur harrie screemed

Lindley doesn’t even read my edits, I can write whatever I want! Hi world, I hate my life. And I hate this story tbh. -Alex

“SHE CNAT LIVE WHile I LIvE” vodlemoret screameed

sUddenly, Harry kiss vodle!!!!!!!!!!! it was hot and passionant

“OMFG U GUYZ ARE In LOVE!!!!!” Lindley screamed.

Bidle crid bc he wuz inluv wif me & harrie & harrie thrusted is pELVIS (an_(author’s notess): ELVis presley XDDd my mom lieds him) in2 voldemrote’s hotly.

i started mastubatang. golly my ************ was so moisted

This wuz so fçcking huwt.t

dena joined in wif Crowrey and Caestiel & we all kissed and bildo & hairry hugged hottttly. (AN(arthur’s sword) THERE R SO MENy TS BECUZ DEYR HOTTTTTTTER DEN HOT)

Deen toko Caseitl’s hend & LOL JK GRAYS R GROSS (AN(AUTHORS F**** NOTE) OMG OMG OMG LIKE TOYS R US) -Alex

sudnexpectadly, castiel kissedme &.......……..................................

i came so f&(()*cking hurd as he thrust his willy into my hoo haa billyio kissed Dean (an(uauthors notes:) :) NO HOMOO lol bcuz cows xdxdxdxdxdxdxdxd) passieanonately as he berked of quiackly.

Larry gasped

he grabbed his HUGE MASSIVE willy wonka (ac/authors’cnotes) WILL WOKA zomg lel charly @ the choclate factry is da best timmy borat movie (after nightemare b4 crhsitmas) and acccidentaly fapped (AANN(lol liek cnn)lol i jst found uot what it meens frum alex) it so hard it fell of!!!?!!!!!!

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XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bilbo Baggins frm hobbilitown thirst his wonker into my twat

suddenly batman

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX1 HOUR OF SUMMER LATERXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

i wuz dreaming

kanye west (an(AUTHORTS NOTE) HES SO HOT OMG ALEX IS BI SEX Y’ALL TOO BUT HE DOESNT THANK KANYE EAST IS HOT :((((((( WTF) wuz dere and i was liek omg KANYE WEEsT

kim k was dere 2 and we were all havin a 3sum and n

 

orth east wuz watchin (an) alex dunt kno who she iz ::((( wtf)

my friend emily suddenly came into da room

“OMG WTF YOURE HAVING A 3sum WITH KANYE AND KIM K AND DIDNT TELL MEE???????!!!!!” she screamed (my friend emily is frum skool she lieks disstory (HURRHURRHURRHURRHURR LOL GET IT CUZ DISS AND STORY) shes also a scene and she like kanye F:)

Hey guys it’s Alex. Kathey still doesn’t read my edits, so I kinda gave up and I’m just gonna add stuff like this. Butts. Are. So. Mother. Fucking. Great. lol

we all had sex roflcopter lmfao :p

 

Chapter Text

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it wuz xmas!!!!

Wee all work up & Diego held me statistically. He wuz so hut. I wentd 2 kiss & make OUAT wig him and sexy him

Seen wuz touching his necklace by Castirl & looking in2 the fire cenly

We were beutigul

Den suddenly............ SATAN

--

lol Santa cummed and we spoke 2 him. We stole all his GIFs (lel). He cried and pushed up da chimneyy. I gasped

"Santa is so Gr9" said a bilbo

"Hahahzhsh yus l" Harry responded with proundress

A duck passed by and we gazed hotly

Goodnight &emery little xxxmas (an:(:airheads nothing) looooollll xxx hahahahehdhd)

Suddenli i hurd a nock at da dooor. i went to open it. it was dylan and coal spouse!

“OH MI GAWD WHATCHA DOIN HUR” I SCREAMED

“Were satna’s elfs! adn we have a presant 4 you dat satin forgot 2 give u.”

“omg omg omg what is it”

den dey both leened in n kissed me!!!!!!!
“dats ur presant” dey sed at the same tiem

“I LOVE IT” then i fainted bc THEYRE SO HOT

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5 minutes of summer later

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Hey it’s Alex. I would like to apologize for the stupidity of this fanfiction. You’re all probably wondering why I, such an old and whise soul, am with such a moron. Well, my fellow emo mens rights activists (I’m gonna piss off so many feminazis lol), Katherine (That’s right, that’s her real name. Not “Kathey”) is young, but she has already developed an ass that won’t quit, and titties that are perfect. I just hope she lets me bury my bone in her.

With best regards,

Alex

P.S. Don’t comment anything about this. I don’t want this absolute idiot to find out I’m only with her to fuck her. Onwards with this horrendous story:

 

i wuk up wit balbo standing ovar mi.

“oh golly r u okey dokey?” he shouted

“NO!!” I HOLLERED “COOLE AND DILAN SPICE WRAPPED (lel cuz xmas)ME!!!!!”

Jesus appeared sexily

“Lindley u r sinner!” he hollered

“JESAS NO!” I SCREAMED AS HE SHINED A LIGHT AT ME AND SUDDENLY I WUZ IN HEAVAN

Obama wuz dere

He wulked up 2 mi

“Hullo Lindley”

“OMG HOW DO U KNO MI NAME”

“I know everthang”

“BUT WATE Y R U IN HAVAN UR ALIFE”
“Im god”

“Woah”

“Anway uve sinned.” he sighed “uve let alex tuch ur boob”

“yea it felt good 2 him”

“TIS A SIN!” he hollered “AND 4 DATU SHELL B PUNNISED”

“OBMANA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOboop hey it’s AlexOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOThis is a lot of OsOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOfeminists should dieOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOmen’s rights are important toooooo0000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOmeninism is lifeOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOmy hair matches my soulOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOspoiler it’s blackOOOOOOOOOOOOfeminazis should suck my dickOOOOOOOlmao that’s right, be mad, Tumblr feministsOO!”

Chapter Text

obma sed “repent fur ur ways (lol obama is a furry)! ur a yung preson and yung preson shuldnt hav a childe. u hav 2 klli ur bebeh”

suddenly everthang went black n den white n den normal. i wuz bak in mi living room n biglboni wys stall sitting ovr me,

“oMG LINDLEY UR ALIVE TIS A XMAS MIRAKAL”

“um wut happen”

“u were out 4 like 5ever” baggins bilbo said

“wowb i had a dreem. Dat obnana brock (lelelelel pokēęmon)) wuz guud and dat I haed been punishing!!!!!!!! he sed i need 2 kill me bebeh”

“wtf but u just gave girth!!!!” my mummy screeemd 4rom upstars

"NO1 ASSED U MUMMY!" I shouted pointlessly back with a pittyfull sogh.

"May be u should weight a bit n see cuz it's Xmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yes ur toright Harry pot (an:(autuhors notes) lolhzahaha xdxd alexx told me wut it wuz 2day i want sum pot)" I responded breifly.

***** *****

 

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***** *****

 

***** *****

 

We wer in da dying rumm (anu) authuf s notes)) git it because living room is 2 mAinstreem) I'm funny)) and Harry and dean were xchenching Xmas GIFgfs. We laffed quikly and Harry opened his goff

It was...an invincibility croack!

We all gasped darmatical like

"Dats a cooak dad marks u invinncible!!!! Hahah wow www ", we said all ladylike

Harryet trith it jon and he Bcam invinsible!

Rock Grimes (my cousin dats 1 ov da most popular scene kids in da county) walked in2 dje room with a sigh "wattpad (lelelelelel wattpad)r u all doing?? Ur supposed to open the gigs downstairs!! " he rolled his eyes and joined us anyways. He is hot and made me want 2 share incects with him. He had a rlly scene & dyed nion beard and it was *fuc*cking hot!

I sighed deprezzing-like as i rmembered my convo wif Alabama.

sudennelly hanna montana wulk in!!!!!!!!!! (i neva seen hanna montana but mile cirys is hut as f***ck but not in a lebaneese way)

she haed y lang hair donw 2 her SUPPLE BUTTOCKS she wulked ovre 2 ricky grims n made outie w him

Katherine is so fucking stupid. We should all kill her morbidly. - Alex (not the stupid baby ‘Lindley’ had)

suddenely hte rock dwaiyn jonhssonn walked in (he my new celeb crush!!!!!!!!!! fuck off martin freema u short angry imbecile)

snata came down da cchimey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!he gave me a gift ov tru luv ok bai i need to sleepy now it’s xmas tomorow as im wratnig dis but ill psot it tamari!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 < 3 <3 <3 <3 <3 < 3<3 ,,<3 lots ov love and hoep 4 ur xmas holi2weeks (an: authors note) buecase it isn’t 1 day it’s 2 weeks of holy2weeks hahahahah lolroflol i’m tired goodnighty)

 

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it wuz 2015 OMG OMG OMGOMG aftr da xmas incadent & every1 wuz enjoing deir xmas giffs. I was sad bcuz i had 2 kill alex <3. i didnt nut wut 2 do so i preid 2 onbama again.

hE unEXpectadly caem in2 my rooom & laughed darmatically.

sUDenlly he grabed the corna of hiz face AND LIFTED IT OFF AND IT WUZ A MASK AND UNDERNEATH WAS………………………………………………

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KIRSTEN STUART

 

 

 

 

 

––––««…»»––––––––««…»»––––––––««…»»––––––––««…»»––––

 

“christeen” I moaned to her.

“omg ur so hot lindley” kirstenn replied hotly. She wuz wearing a black dress dat feel 2 her anklez &&. had high platphorm shoos. She wuz also wearing light pink(ie PIE HAHAHAHAHA) lipspock and pale founding. Her hair wuz up in a pony (an:Authors notes) : MY LITTEL PONY!!!) tale and she had green and weight hair extenshions.

lol jk no homo

 

sudennly nimbus vagings appreared

“BEGONE U EVIL WATCH” he screemed @ kartsten steviert n thru water @ her

“NEEEOOOOO IM METLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she screemed

omfg wtf” i whistered orgasmically

Chapter Text

thank you 2 Snakecharmed79. dis fanfoc was on an artizle abt bad fanfic, and im rlly mad tbhhhhh. i fucking put effart (fart) in this fanfiction. i fucking work on this, adn fuck pretentious assholes who think they’re on a high horse just because my writing style is different from others’, because im A FUCKING TEEN. Im only 12, why do grown ups always feel the need to act so condescending?
to answer some questions:
IM FUCKIGN TIRED of people asking if this is seriousl or not. go back 2 ur nest of hatred and hatred for TEENS liek ME. I’m sorry that you think my writing style sucks, but I genuinely LOVE writing this way, and if you have a problem with this then dont fucking read it. I originally started writing this so that people who love the same stuffz as me could enjoy this.
Yes, im mad that this was on that artizle. I dnot consider my fanfoc bad, and I cryed for an hour last night because everyone in my life seems to hate me - Alex is making me change just so that he likes me, my parents think im a disappointment, im failing all of my classes, and i barel y ahve friends. why do u think that making fun of me would solve anyting? fuck you, fuck my praents, fuck alex, fuck school, fuck empire magazine. fuck off. i thot people liked dis fanfic, i thot it would be different and good. i feel bad for evern tryihn.
epmire can keep da artizle up, andn my fanfic can stah there. but i hoap whuever wroat da artizle nows dat becuz of dem a 12 yer old (me) will cut tonigt.
fuck everyone,
-Katherine Alexandra Harmon
P.S. RAWR XD :( fuck off

Chapter Text

AN(aviators nathan): NYAH!!!!!! XD ok guiz sooO!!!!!!! i tlaked 2 Alex (babebabebabebabebabebabebabeba) n he mad me reelize how gross bein happy is. so ya. im emo now. i h9 my live. i h9 ever2 & u should all die. expasanly da ones whu sed my fan function sucks d*ck.
lelel alax told me what d*ck maenz
Plas can sum1 explain wthh is their immortal¿¿? Lel I dunt geddit bcuz ever1 talks bout it in da comments. N rediews. Alex tat me how 2 kill sum1 2day. We only did it on a mannequween so don't areasta me lolmeao.

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I wuz sad CHRIST swetard was gone. So I cried. But not in a gay way bc dat meanz happy. And I'm not happeh. clapeh alang if u dnot feel liek happehnes iz da truth. cauze im not happeh lalalalalala i h9 dat song i h9 my laife.

the next dey i wuz in belbos bed. he wuz seeping but i wuz lookin up @ him sexilt.
suddanlyy…………. DA FORTEENTH DOCTER WALKED OU T OF DA TARDIS WITH A EMO FACE. IT WUZ BRENDUN URIE FRM PANIC & DA DISCO!!!!!!!!!!!
“I wright sinz not tragediz” he said punk. very punk
“BRENDAN I lUV U” bieblo shouted. i didn’t no he wuz a pA!td fan.
he toook his sunic screwwdrivr out ov his pocket n frowned heavily. “Who is brendan wut my naem is the dr.!”
I cried sexually. yeah
binbrunolo mars*erbuted 2 brendn frm panack @ the dancefloor. i joined in. we had an orgy and den brittany s pears startead singing whiel blowing up brundon. i squeezd my peech loudly. n den i cammed. brendun was so hot. when i opend my eyes he wuz kissing me emoly and his handz wer on his thang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also liek i h9 my life just sayian but nut brendun urie nn gerald way (lel mcr is da best bc dey r so emo)

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MILKY WAY joined uz nd martubuted to p!atd nd mcr!+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (an : (author z notez) : i fcKING loVE milky way (GeRARD wayz bro!). Den the em and am joined. Den SKITTLES

(auto(atari knob): im warrant this on my BRBROTHAS IPHONE. So autocorrect is a batch)

btw im kinda out of ideas for da plot? ?????? So of any of u have ideas comments pls

okay so Lindsey was in her bathroom bleeding her hair ok.

Bibloo and alex ran in and smild circularly.

bablos said.. “h ellO LINDELY!”

alex sarted 2 cri. suddenly…………………………………………………………………….DOCTAR BROAW N ARRIVED OUT V DA DELOREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“elindly u hav 2 go bak 2 da futuer!!”

i died my hair Greene  (lel jahn grren) lolol

AHAHAHA APRIL FOOLZ U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i died mah hair red (liek gerard’s wheys.)

 

nd den marti mclaf walkd oot ov da car wif einstien (lal da dog nut da actor ably ainsten)

i cried “WaT y!!!???? wat happens in da futuer.”

Alex smiled diagonically.

DOCatr emmit brownies sighd passinatically. “itz nut u!! itz bigolo!! letz go!! lev alx nd dilgo hear!!!”

“n0 wey!! (lel gerrald wey!!) i’m nut leving w/o/ biablo nd my bae alex.letz go wif dem!” i screamd. (ice cream xdxd) (skye)

marti mclyf cried but nodded. so did doc bows. “okie dokey!!!!! go go go!”
i landed in2 da tiem travel deeloran n we left by filing.

lemao gudbye cruel wolrd.