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Buried hearts

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Title: Buried hearts
Pairing: Gerard/Mikey
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes Mikey isn’t sure what is real and what is not. His brother’s face in the mirror might be both.
Warning(s): Character death, disturbing imagery, creepy, incest…also AU (somehow).
Author’s Notes: That’s the kind of thing I really like to write…also, it might make you sad, fuck with your mind and maybe make you look under your bed before going to sleep with the lights on. Have fun! Sequel: Reborn
Word Count: 711
Beta: tygermine
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.

--+--
“Sometimes when I press my ear really hard to the ground I can hear them.

“Who?”

“The hearts,” Gerard says and looks at him.

Mikey blinks once, twice and says: “Bullshit!”

“Really, I can hear them. They’re tied to the roots and they’re beating, really quietly.”

“They’re not!” Mikey says, but isn’t that sure anymore. “I don’t believe you,” he adds firmly.

Gerard shrugs, getting up from the ground he was sitting on. “It’s the truth nevertheless.”

“I still don’t believe you”, says Mikey again. Gerard laughs and grabs his hand, pulling him up from the dying grass. The autumn wind is cold and he shivers.

“But it’s the truth,” Gerard whispers in his ear before he runs ahead. Mikey shakes his head, and follows.


~+~
Sometimes he thinks he can hear Gerard’s voice in the wind. In the autumn leaves, but that’s just his imagination. After all he never could hear the hearts under the old tree. He tried until he was fifteen and Gerard…not.

“Mikey?” she asks, her voice is soft and careful. He shakes his head.

“It’s nothing,” he answers, turns to look at her and smiles. He can’t help it that Gerard is haunting him.

“Okay,” she replies. She’s cute, he thinks, but she’s not him.

And that isn’t his fault, or hers. He just can’t help it that he compares every single woman he is with or he sleeps with to his older brother. Even if Gerard never was a girl…he was just the most important person in his life. And that’s why.
He remembers Gerard every single day of his life. Most painfully on quiet autumn days. He remembers the wind, the leaves grazing his skin, Gerard’s hot breath on his skin as he whispered into Mikey’s ear. His laugh as he run ahead.


~+~
Sometimes when he gets up in the middle of the night, he can see Gerard’s face in the mirror. Just for a second. Out of the corner of his eye. It could be imagination due to not enough sleep, too much work…just shadows and darkness in the corners. Imagination.


~+~
“So, why are they there?” Mikey wants to know.

It’s dark and Gerard looks a bit creepy in the light of the single candle. But that’s the mood he was aiming for.

“Who?” Gerard asks as if he doesn’t know exactly what Mikey is asking. Mikey rolls his eyes at him. His brother does it every time, just to piss him off. And if his mom knew he’s using the bad words again…

“The hearts,” he huffs with all the irritation a seven year old can muster. Gerard smiles.

“You don’t even believe they are there…”

“But if they are…why are they there? Buried under the tree?” Mikey asks putting another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

“Well…”

“Tell me!”

“But you aren’t allowed to tell anyone else!” Gerard says. Mikey nods.

“You have to swear it.”

“I swear.”

“Okay.”


~+~
It’s the end of autumn when she leaves him. He isn’t surprised. They all leave him sooner or later. Mostly in the last days of autumn. But he can’t deal with the guilt and the shame and the anger…


~+~
He’s smiling in the mirror, and he looks young. Sixteen maybe. His hair is a mess and there is dirt on his cheek, on his hands too. He has soil on his clothes and leaves in his hair.

“Gerard…” Mikey whispers and closes his eyes. He doesn’t know if Gerard is really there.
Sometimes he isn’t sure if he himself is really there.

“Mikey…” he whispers back. There is laughter in his voice; lost summers and early autumns.

“I miss you…” Mikey says and Gerard smiles.


~+~
“If you bury thirty-three of them, you can bring someone back.” Gerard says, Mikey knows he’s just stopping for dramatic effect, even if he doesn’t really know the term ‘dramatic effect’. “From the dead.” Gerard whispers the last words and Mikey shivers.

“How many are there? What do you think?” he asks anyway. He is brave. Gerard smiles at him.

“I have no idea!” he answers laughing and throws some candy at him.


~+~
“How many did you bury, Mikey?” Gerard wants to know.

“Thirty-two,” he answers quietly.
Gerard laughs softly.

~end~