"Go away." Sam doesn't even bother turning around. Because there's only one person that gives off an air of chocolate and sarcasm, and doesn't need to open doors.
"You're rude, did anyone ever tell you that?" Gabriel leans on his back, forcing Sam to push the laptop shut and sigh.
"Maybe because I've learnt that the world has a tendency to go to hell when you show up."
Gabriel breathes chocolate flavoured laughter.
"I'm working on my boredom threshold," he protests, patting Sam's shoulder. "It's good for me."
Sam shrugs him off and swivels around - ends up close enough to tug an unopened candy bar out of his hand. He doesn't recognise the name.
"This...this is a Trickster thing. Why are you eating it if you're an Archangel?" Because he's been wondering that for a while now.
Gabriel snatches it back out of his fingers. "Because it tastes awesome."
"Or because you got addicted to it the moment they worked out how to make it?"
"That too," Gabriel says without shame. "Why, want to share? My candy bars are yours, Sam. All you have to do is ask."
Sam ignore him, he ignores him right up until he reaches over and opens Sam's laptop again.
"What are you doing, anyway?"
Sam lifts a hand and pushes it shut again.
"What you're not even going to ask me for help?"
Sam shakes his head.
"No." He shrugs him off his back again, which Gabriel seems to find amusing.
The Archangel pulls a face that's probably supposed to be hurt.
"You'd ask Castiel for help."
Sam frowns disbelief at him.
"You just want to help, out of the goodness of your heart?"
"Well you could say please, I hear that works." Gabriel shakes his head. "You Winchesters, no manners at all."
"Castiel's here you know. I could ask him."
"Castiel's busy worshipping your brother," Gabriel says, unwrapping the curious candy bar and eating it. "I wouldn't bother him right now."
For a moment Sam thinks he's joking, and then it becomes clear that he's really, really not.
"I can't hear a thing," Sam argues. "You don't think maybe they'd be making noise in there."
"Oh, I guarantee they're making noise in there. You don't think my little brother's learned how to make sure you don't hear about it. They would have woken up the neighbourhood if he didn't. Angels are loud, loud." Gabriel nods, then does something indecent with his eyebrows.
"That's insane. There's no way they're..." Sam gets up and strides across to the adjoining door.
Gabriel sucks a breath and shakes his head.
"They barely stop arguing and brooding at each other long enough to fuck anyway. Interrupting them would just be cruel and unnecessary."
"I know you're messing with me," Sam says stiffly, because he has more than enough experience with being the butt of a joke, thank you very much. He wraps his hand around the door knob.
Gabriel's mouth is now full of chocolate but his eyes are still promising a lifetime of mental images he doesn't want, if he opens the door.
Sam can't quite bring himself to turn it. Because even if he is ninety percent sure that Gabriel's lying - the possibility that he's not. There's absolutely no way he needs to see that.