And I cannot guess what we'll discover
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another’s
And not one speck will remain
-Death Cab For Cutie 'When Soul Meets Body'
“It’s nice to begin again.” Fai said as he smiled, his eyes trained to the sky and the rolling hills in front of them. Kurogane only glances over to him and Fai accepts the silent reply with a soft laugh.
Yuui had always expected to die separated from Fai. Yuui had always thought such a thing was deserving of him after he was rescued and Fai was not.
It’s on another world that has resulted in another fruitless search for a way to free Syaoran that they are left alone. This world is quaint and cozy, a world that reminds them of what a home would feel like.
It isn’t often that they find themselves like this, since they must constantly move onward in their hunt. Fai smiles warmly at Kurogane as he feels their shoulders gently resting against each other. He notes the light blush on the taller man’s cheeks and his smile widens.
A lifetime ago he had tried to reconnect with his brother, when bodies fell like the snow around him and his blood caked the high walls of the pit in his attempt to free them both.
A lifetime ago he was a prince again running away, because he had been haunted by the mistake he had made before and the dreaming king beneath the water.
But this lifetime, he’s found just where he wants to be.
It’s in the middle of the day that Fai and Kurogane find themselves together. The room is open and airy, sun-filled and white. It is here that they finally cross that threshold. It’s not what either of them had ever thought it would be like. Playfully, and it is a term that cannot be given to Kurogane easily, both of them tumble and wrestle on the bed until they’re breathless. Time seemed to slow for them as they let everything from before be said in silent trails of kisses and the ghosting of fingers over skin.
It is new for both of them to be so free with the other or with anyone for that matter, but as they continue and rock gently against each other, they each know that this is what was needed to break that final hold on what once was between them.
When it’s over and both are winded and sated, Kurogane reaches over to bring the other into his arms. It an unwavering action as he takes that step forward. He smiles when Fai turns into him, glad for the answer he had wanted to know.
He knows things can never be as they once were when they first knew each other. He knows they can never be that light hearted again, knows the both of them can never pretend there isn’t anything going on again.
Kurogane knows that as well. But as Fai calls out a nickname and sets down a drink, he thinks he can live with that.
They’ve come to an understanding. The first time it happened back when Fai had lost his eye. Back then Fai had been unwilling to read between the lines. His resentfulness ran on to Infinity. It was a rude awakening to know that he had failed at keeping the other man at bay.
It wasn’t until he had been willing to sacrifice himself for his family that he was finally willing to take Kurogane’s offer. And then he had been pulled out of Celes by a half dead Kurogane. Fai had left a part of himself back in that sphere to watch over what was left of his past, of the prices he and Kurogane had to pay to stay together and move forward.
It had taken Kurogane’s blood and his own tears at the thought of loosing the other man, for Fai to accept his offer. They’ve come to an understanding that some things don’t need to be spoken.
Fai smiles softly and gently whenever he remembers while Kurogane simply folds his arms and looks away.
Of all the people Fai carries in his heart, he remembers his mother the most (that is aside from the real Fai). He remembers how ethereal she was, how sad she looked even to his young eyes. But he remembers most her singing. Even now he catches himself singing for her and he wonders if she is somewhere happy on another world without him.
Fai has kissed many people before. He has kissed aggressively in the heat of passion. He has kissed slowly and tenderly. He has kissed friends and family. But he has never been kissed.
It’s when they’re together and Syaoran and Mokona are busy in front of them looking over maps and books that Fai feels Kurogane lean into him. With a slight turn of his head he is kissed pleasantly and quick so as not to draw the stares from their companions. Fai thinks he rather likes being on the receiving end of such a kiss.
It’s a lazy afternoon, something they haven’t had the luxury for in a while. Fai is still asleep when Kurogane wakes. It is still something he has to get used to, seeing the blonde like he is now. Sunlight pools in from the shuttered window on the opposite side of their room and if he concentrates he can hear Syaoran and Mokona moving around.
Since they left on this second journey, Kurogane has found a new hobby. He has found that he rather likes watching Fai sleep. He likes the way the blonde’s hair looks when the light hits it a certain way, likes how it fans out over the pillow just as tousled looking as it does in the wizards waking hours. He likes watching Fai’s chest, either clothed or bare, rise and fall with each short intake of breath. Then there’s the way Fai curls his fingers into the sheets or against his lips.
Kurogane has never been one to sleep in, has never really liked the idea of resting because he could. Now though as he studies Fai and can see the peace in the other’s features he simply sighs and pulls Fai closer. After all it won’t be so bad to sleep in just this once.
One million times I’ve talked to you and one million times you’ve given chase.
One thousand times I’ve known you and one thousand times you have understood me.
One hundred times I’ve learned what it is to be alive from you and in return one hundred times you’ve learned to be strong because of me.
But only once have I shared a life with you. Though, maybe if I am lucky I could do it all over again.
“Here.” Kurogane sets down a small toy in front of the blonde who simply looks at the object in question. Button eyes stare at him, a small red felt tongue sticks out of the barely palm sized toy. Fai knows where this came from, he had teased Kurogane about the strange resemblance the man had with the stuffed toy.
He looks up and Kurogane is gone, presumably to join Syaoran and Mokona in the living room. He smiles gently and lifts the small dog to inspect it better. It’s something he will carry close to him from now on, because it is one of the many gifts Kurogane had given him and it would be a shame to not tease the ninja for it.
Fai is surprised to have a happy beginning. Fai would have never dreamed he would have a family to call his own a third time.
He thinks this is the perfect life for him now. To travel to a million worlds with his new family, to travel a million worlds with Kurogane. Fai thinks it is a bit romantic to think that he will share a thousand lives worth of adventures and smiles and tears all condensed into one with the other.
They sit together; their conversations are relaxed without any hidden agendas and motives. Stories of their youth flow freely and without question. Fai smiles as he warms his hands with still untouched tea while Kurogane smirks and leans back into his chair. It’s simple and peaceful, something that has always been foreign to them, but is now a welcome reprise.
It’s comforting to know that they can be like this together without being afraid of what to say, of what might be revealed. They would have it no other way.