No one else had ever made Louis feel safe like Liam did.
Even in the beginning, when Louis couldn't even breathe without feeling like Liam wanted him to do it better, Liam was still the rock for them all. It didn't matter how nervous Zayn or Harry were, or how overwhelmed Niall looked, or how certain Louis was that this was the week he would be found out and chucked from a band he had never deserved to be a part of in the first place. All it took was one look at Liam on stage, brimming over with confidence and determination, to make Louis feel like he was going to be okay. And that was still true four years later, a glance or a touch enough to center Louis both on stage and off.
But all of that was nothing compared with what it felt like to be sat between Liam's legs, completely starkers, his legs spread obscenely wide with his feet hooked around the outside of Liam's calves, and Liam's palm cupping his dick. Even exposed like that, Louis felt so safe he kept forgetting to breathe, gulping in big breaths.
"Shhhh," Liam hushed against his ear, one hand stroking lightly over Louis's belly. "It's okay, baby." And slowly, slowly, he pressed his other hand down against Louis's dick, the pads of his fingers caressing his balls and pressing up against his taint.
Louis moaned, still feeling like he couldn't get enough air, his face and chest flushing hot. His back was sweaty, Liam's chest hair rubbing against his skin, and he could feel Liam's dick hard against his arse, like a promise.
"I've got you," Liam murmured, pressing a kiss to Louis's head and stroking his fingers up over Louis's cock. Louis loved Liam's hands, loved how big and strong they were, the way Liam could grip both of his wrists in one hand, or hold Louis down while he fucked him, palms spreading his arse open. But most of all he loved the way Liam could hold Louis's entire dick and balls in his hand.
Liam's hands were large enough that they matched his own above-average dick. Louis needed both hands to jerk Liam off, and he still hadn't quite mastered deep throating. But Liam's hands dwarfed Louis's dick, made him look and feel even smaller than he actually was, and Louis had never hated and loved something so fiercely in equal measure.
He looked down at where Liam's hand was wrapped around his dick, the head just barely visible above Liam's thumb and forefinger.
"There you are," Liam said softly, swiping his thumb over the wet slit of Louis's dick, the rest of his hand not moving at all. "Look at how little you are."
Somehow Louis flushed even hotter, the embarrassment at hearing Liam talk about him like that filling his body. He wanted to tell him to shut up, to insist that he never stop talking. Instead, Louis squirmed against him, pressing his hips up into Liam's hand.
"Stop that," Liam said immediately, letting go of Louis's dick and slapping his inner thigh hard. Louis let out a ragged gasp as Liam dragged his other hand up Louis's belly and chest and then pinched his nipple, pulling and twisting and not letting go. "Are you going to be my good little boy?"
"Yes," Louis sobbed. He would be good for Liam.
"My good boy," Liam repeated softly, one hand slowly sweeping up Louis's thigh until he was touching him again, running two fingers along the underside of his dick. Louis twitched up against Liam's hand, keening low in his chest when Liam began to wank him so, so slowly with just two fingers and his thumb. "Love looking at you," Liam continued, his hand so steady and smooth that Louis felt like he would break apart. "Love your dick."
Louis knew that it was true, even though he didn't know why and would never understand what Liam saw in him. Liam had always watched him, his gaze hot on Louis's body, surely full of judgement and scorn and frustration. It had made Louis want to lash out at the beginning, and he did, always giving Liam something to look at. Any attention, good or bad, was better than being ignored.
But that was before Liam had caught Louis in the middle of a wank. Louis had survived for years in locker rooms, loudly boasting that he was a grower, lads, and besides which he'd never had any complaints from the ladies. It was different, though, when Liam saw what he looked like fully hard, no way to hide how small he really was. He had thought he'd die at the look on Liam's face, the way he'd stammered out an apology and backed out of the room, his eyes never leaving Louis's crotch.
Even more mortifying was how hard Louis had come after Liam closed the door, the shame and humiliation that rolled through his belly as he stroked off, thinking about Liam watching him.
He hadn't let Liam get the upper hand after that. The best defence was a good offence and all that; if Liam thought he could make fun of Louis and his small dick, Louis would show him what he could expect in return. Except Liam never mentioned it at all, only watched him when he thought Louis wouldn't notice, like Louis ever wasn't aware of exactly where Liam was.
Louis had kept poking and prodding Liam long after he'd accepted that Liam wasn't going to use what he'd seen against him. It was unfair, really, that Liam could be so nice all the time. There had to be a breaking point; everyone had a limit for how much of Louis they were willing to deal with. Louis had been determined that he wouldn't be caught off-guard when Liam inevitably snapped.
He should have known better, should have known that Liam would surprise him. But he couldn't have anticipated Liam knocking on his door six months after he hadn't knocked at all, walking in and sliding to his knees in front of Louis.
"I can't stop thinking about you," he had said, staring up at Louis. "I just--can I see?"
Are you taking the piss, Louis had wanted to ask, but he couldn't. He knew Liam too well, knew that he would never treat Louis like Louis treated him all the time. He was simply being braver and more open than Louis could even conceive of, and all Louis knew was that he was already half-hard just from watching Liam get on his knees for him.
Maybe, just maybe, he could match Liam's courage if he tried. He swallowed hard and finally met Liam's eyes, not looking away as he undid his flies with shaking hands. He pushed his pants down, keeping his gaze on Liam's face, so he saw as well as heard it when Liam gasped at the sight of his mostly hard dick. He had let his eyes slip shut only once Liam had leaned in so carefully and taken Louis in his mouth.
Three years and countless blowjobs later, Louis's eyes were shut now as well, all of his focus on how Liam's hand felt on his dick and what he was saying to him. "So beautiful," Liam whispered, the words ringing loudly in Louis's ears.
It took all of the self-control Louis still possessed not to squirm at the words, but he didn’t want Liam to take his hand away. He exhaled sharply, though, not quite able to stay quiet. Even now, he still didn’t entirely believe that Liam actually loved his dick as much as he said. His strategy before Liam had been to be so good with his hands and mouth that his partners wouldn’t have the energy to be disappointed by how little he was packing. And he’d truly had no complaints; he took pride in his ability to give head to girls and guys, and foreplay was the main course in all of his hook-ups. It came naturally to him, making people focus on what he could do well to make up for what he couldn’t give them. He'd always been okay with that.
But then there was Liam, who couldn’t keep himself from touching Louis all the time, onstage and off. Louis had thought the novelty might wear off, or that Liam was such a top he genuinely didn’t care, the size of Louis’s penis irrelevant to him. But Liam begged to be fucked with such desperation and sincerity that Louis couldn’t doubt his interest. Liam loved his small dick, apparently, whether out of some kind of unusual size kink fetish Louis had certainly never encountered in porn, or simply because it was Louis’s dick in particular that Liam loved, regardless of the size. He wasn’t quite sure which explanation was worse.
Right now it didn’t much matter, because either way Liam was driving Louis completely mad, his big hand giving Louis almost enough friction but not quite. He felt completely helpless, giving his body over to Liam to play with. Someday Liam would surely get bored of wanking a dick he could cover with one hand, but for now Louis just tried to hold on.
Liam’s hand started to speed up on Louis’s dick, his other hand over Louis’s belly, pressing him back against Liam’s hips. Louis whined, couldn’t help the noises he was making, and Liam kissed his cheek.
“You’re being so good, Louis,” Liam said, his entire fist finally closing around Louis’s dick. Louis sobbed and thrust his hips up into the tight grip. “Such a good little boy.”
He was going to come; he was too close, after so much teasing, to hold out now that Liam was letting him thrust up into his hand. His nails were digging into Liam’s thighs, head arching back over Liam’s shoulder, when suddenly Liam’s hand was gone and his hips were being held still.
“Liam, I can’t,” he gasped, opening his eyes and turning his head toward Liam.
Liam shushed him and then kissed him, tongue sliding into his mouth. Louis was shaking, still so close but unable to move or get any friction; he knew better than to try to touch his own dick.
“Just a little more, darling,” Liam finally said against his mouth, and Louis nodded, willing to at least try. He regretted it instantly when Liam opened the lube and got his hand slick before cupping Louis’s dick again, not moving at all for a moment.
“Please,” Louis begged. “Please, I want to come.” Liam pressed his hand down over Louis’s dick, his fingertips curving under Louis’s balls, and Louis groaned and tried so hard not to move.
“Good boy,” Liam breathed, and Louis got impossibly harder at the praise, his entire body flushed and trembling.
Liam started to press down on the head of Louis’s dick with the heel of his hand. His fingers were still curled under Louis’s bollocks, making him feel trapped and held together. The slick of the lube made Liam’s touch even more unbearable, Louis's hips rocking up into his hand no matter how hard he tried to stay still.
He couldn’t possibly keep from coming and stay quiet at the same time, though; every slight movement of Liam’s hand against his dick and balls dragged a groan or a whimper out of him. But that just made Liam praise him more.
“You’re doing so well, Lou,” he said against his ear, pressing a kiss to Louis’s cheek when Louis sobbed at the feeling of Liam’s fingers stroking up over his dick. “Doing just what I want.”
Louis shook his head, crying out wordlessly when Liam stopped moving his hand completely, giving him a moment to pant through it before carefully wrapping his whole hand round Louis’s dick.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard after you’ve come,” Liam whispered into his ear, and Louis choked at the promise. “After you’ve made a mess all over yourself.” Louis was actually crying now, the tears leaking out of his eyes as he tried so, so hard to hold on just a little longer, to make Liam proud of him. “Come for me now, baby.”
That was it; Louis let go, his hips thrusting up into Liam’s hand as he came, his entire body shaking through it. He felt his come dripping down his belly and over his thighs, and he pressed himself back against Liam’s chest, head tipped back over Liam’s shoulder. One of Liam’s hands was still wanking his dick, fingers and thumb tight over the head; his other hand was gripping Louis's thigh, holding his legs wide.
“Such a good boy,” Liam breathed. Louis didn’t know how he could just say things like that, how he could make it feel good and safe and not like the most shameful secret he’d ever had. “My good boy,” he added, a note of possessiveness threading through his voice, and Louis spread his legs even wider, wanting so much to be that for him.
Liam laughed a little, but Louis’s need to make him happy outweighed any possible embarrassment. As long as he was still being Liam’s good boy, nothing else in Louis’s head mattered. “Please,” Louis asked, wanting to deserve it.
Luckily there was no one who spoiled him as much as Liam did. “Okay, let’s get you turned around,” Liam said, his big hands lifting Louis up and turning him around until he was facing Liam, still straddling his lap. Liam guided Louis’s arms until they were wrapped around his neck, kissing him gently. “You tell me if it’s too much, all right?”
Louis nodded and kissed him back while Liam slicked up his fingers with lube. His entire body was over-sensitised, even the gentle stroke of Liam’s fingers over his arse enough to make him shudder. But it was exactly what he wanted, Liam holding him close and opening him up.
He could barely lift himself up, his legs shaking from the effort, but Liam held him steady, taking his weight while he fingered him. Liam was always so strong and patient and could wait for ages when Louis felt like stomping his foot over a delay of thirty seconds. But Liam's voice was tight and desperate when he finally asked, “Lou, you ready?”
Louis would have said no if he could have possibly waited a second longer, just to make Liam feel like he had earlier, desperate and out of control. But he was never very good at denying himself something just to punish Liam, and he was nodding and kneeling up immediately so that Liam could slick up his cock and position Louis over him.
Even with Liam’s hands holding him up, Louis took him in as fast as he could, just needing to be fucked. His dick was already hard again, the head rubbing against the soft hair on Liam’s belly, that slight friction almost too much so soon after coming. But mostly he focused on how hard Liam was gripping his hips, the short gasps he made into Louis’s ear. Louis smiled and ground down on his dick, rolling his hips.
Liam moaned and then shook his head. “Let me,” he said, lifting Louis up slightly and then bringing him back down, not letting Louis control the pace at all. It was so good, Liam’s arms supporting him completely, and Louis just gave himself over to it. He had a hair trigger after the first time he came, but he wanted to hold out, wanted to make it as good for Liam.
Of course, that would be easier if Liam cooperated at all. "Come on, I want to feel you," he said, biting down hard on Louis's shoulder. The friction against his dick every time Liam rocked him up and down was so intense it almost hurt. It made Louis even more desperate, made him feel like Liam could do anything he wanted to Louis and he'd love it, like there was no limit he wouldn't break for him.
It was on that thought that he came again, his voice cracking on a sob as he shuddered in Liam's arms. He heard Liam say, "Oh fuck, Louis," but he couldn't say anything in response, could only breathe and hold on as Liam thrust up into him, his fingers digging into his arse. Liam held him perfectly still when he finally came, biting down on Louis's shoulder again and clutching him against his chest.
He kept holding him like that until it became too much, Louis's hips protesting from the stretch, and he started to wiggle impatiently. Liam huffed out a laugh. "Sorry, sorry," he said, kissing Louis's shoulder where he'd bitten him, and tipping them both over onto their sides on the bed. He got himself untangled from Louis and slid off the bed, walking out of their bedroom while Louis tried to get his breathing back under control.
Liam came back a second later, chanting, "Messy, messy, messy," to himself and holding a wet flannel.
"You're such a dork," Louis said. Dork or not, he still let Liam clean up his belly and arse.
He almost regretted it a second later when Liam gave him a brilliant smile. He had to stop trying to insult Liam, if that was how he was going to respond every time now. "You like it when I sing to myself," Liam said confidently.
"Don't," Louis protested, rolling away from Liam and waiting for him to spoon up behind him.
"You do," Liam said against his ear, one hand sweeping over Louis's hip and cupping Louis's soft dick gently, which was a pretty compelling argument.
Louis decided it would be best to continue this debate after a nap.