Rose crossed her arms and decided she was going to hold her ground. Her adversary stood only feet away with an equally defiant look. Fortunately, they were alone so there wouldn’t be any innocents caught in the crossfire.
“I told you we only came for the essentials,” Rose stated.
“These are essential,” the Doctor returned. “The marshmallow center in these chocolates could neutralize a…”
“No,” Rose said.
“But the caramel could…”
“The mint is…”
“I told you no,” Rose replied. “You can have one box to snack on. Only one. You don’t need all that sugar. You’re as bad as Tony when you start eating sweets.”
“I am not!”
“Doctor, most people start stripping after they’ve had too much to drink. You tore off your trousers after nearly eating a whole cake because you wanted to see if you could fashion a kite out of them.”
“I was successful,” the Doctor pointed out.
“For about three seconds and that’s only because you had thrown them in the air,” Rose returned. “You are getting one box, Doctor. And stop making me feel like your mother. I’m your wife. I shouldn’t have to set limits.”
“Then don’t. I’m a grown man. I know my limits.”
Rose let out a snort.
“Did you just snort in derision?” The Doctor asked. “You know I hate when you snort in derision. Just because I’m not a full Time Lord anymore doesn’t mean you need to snort in derision at every turn because I say something you construe as daft.”
“Then stop being daft.”
“I’m not doing it on purpose,” the Doctor responded. “I’m not even aware it’s happening. I just do something and you call me daft. I rather think you’re not even impartial enough to make that sort of judgment. We should really have someone who doesn’t know either of us make that decision.”
“So, you want all our future rows monitored by a stranger?”
“Maybe,” the Doctor answered with a suspicious look.
“Fine,” Rose said. She looked at something off to his right and the Doctor turned to find a young woman in a black hoodie and jeans attempting to grab a box of Whoppers. “Excuse me, miss, but can you do us a favor?”
The young woman stared at Rose with wide eyes.
“Rose,” the Doctor murmured.
“No, Doctor. You wanted a stranger to judge impartially. Here’s our stranger.”
“I didn’t… You can’t…” He stumbled over the words then deflated. “Rose, please.”
“One box,” Rose told him.
Rose nodded at the young woman who was still frozen in place and the girl took off with her box of candy. The Doctor was putting back the boxes that he had piled into his arms then glared at the rows of sweets.
“Come on,” Rose said as she moved next to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. “It can’t be that hard.”
“You might as well ask me to cut off my hand,” the Doctor muttered.
“Been there, done that,” Rose retorted. “I only wish I had a t-shirt.”
“We could get one,” the Doctor informed her with a grin. “They have a t-shirt place in the mall. Americans do love their nonsensical slogans and pop culture references.”
“You say that like England is filled with boring, stuffy people that don’t get overly giddy about a new superhero movie or some such. We do have our own version of Comic-Con. Mickey dragged me to one just in hopes I might forget about you for a day.”
“No,” Rose answered. “All I could think about was how much fun you’d have there. I nearly caused a scene when a couple of kids had a lightsaber battle because I could remember how much you loved those bloody movies.”
“I always wanted my own lightsaber. I love the noises it makes when it whooshes through the air. Seems like fun. Minus the dying bit.”
“Yeah,” Rose murmured.
“Maybe we should go.”
“Go where?” Rose inquired as she peered up.
“To one of those conventions. I could be Han Solo because I am dashingly handsome and quite heroic and you could be Princess Leia since you are honestly the strongest, smartest and most beautiful woman I have ever known.”
“You just want me to wear the gold bikini,” Rose replied.
“Only if you insist,” the Doctor responded with an indifferent shrug.
Rose smiled then pulled him down for a kiss. He returned it eagerly, but as his fingers began to trail where they shouldn’t as they stood in a public place she broke it off. A disappointed look crossed his features and she felt strangely guilty then sighed.
“Get as many as you want.”
Rose waved her hand towards the candy.
“Get as many as you want,” Rose repeated.
“But you said…”
“Yes, I know what I said, but we are on vacation and you haven’t done anything spectacularly daft since we left home.”
The Doctor frowned.
“I really don’t understand how I’m so daft. Nobody ever told me I was daft until I met you. I’ve always been clever, Rose. Clever.”
“You can be both.”
“Is this one of those things I’m never going to understand because you’re Rose Tyler and I’m the Doctor and you make statements that despite hours of explanation will never make sense?”
He nodded sagely.
“Well, just as long as we’re clear,” he said.