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It wasn’t that Jensen was jealous or followed one of those monogamous religions. He came from a three parent home himself and had always imagined that one or two parent families must have been so lonely and quiet.
He’d married Jeff expecting that someday they’d marry another spouse or two. Jeff had made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t want to have children, so the only way for their family to grow was by marrying.
Except, then he’d met Jared, twenty five, six feet four with a body to die for and Jensen had spent the whole evening at the restaurant watching Jeff smile adoringly at Jared while he fought to smile and keep his food down.
He’d felt lost. Rejected. Replaced.
Jeff had even talked about Jared that night while they’d been fucking—without Jared because Jeff was still stupidly traditional about some things—about how Jared was so big he’d be able to hold Jensen down for them both to fuck and Jensen, well, Jensen doesn’t lie to himself well enough to deny he’d been turned on, or that he’d felt somehow inadequate for Jeff.
They’d met with Jared again, dated, gone to clubs and movies and a fucking circus and Jensen had at some drunken point climbed into Jared’s lap and made out with him, which was apparently not the smartest thing to do because the next morning Jeff had dragged Jensen from one jewellery store to the next looking for the perfect ring.
Jensen’s ring is a simple thick band of gold, a little scratched from six years of wear. Jeff’s ring is similar with love, Jensen engraved on the inside.
The ring they pick out for Jared is thick with three diamonds and three joined Js engraved inside.
And now, a week later, Jensen’s sitting in his office writing up a marriage contract for Jared based on Jeff’s requests because Jared was never going to say no to their proposal (and yes, Jensen had been there, down on one knee with Jeff). Jensen’s pretty sure that it was an exercise is masochism that he’d offered to do that.
It was ridiculously simple, just an agreement that in the case of a mutually agreed upon divorce with no one at fault Jared would receive one third of their joint assets. Jensen’s marriage contract was 54 pages long and came down to Jensen receiving twenty thousand dollars for every year of his marriage to Jeff, even the case of his filing for divorce because of abuse.
Jensen had been twenty one, hoping to get into law school and so damn in love with Jeff he hadn’t seen anything else. He had shrugged off his parents’ disapproval and the eight year age difference and the whispers that he was a gold digger because all that had mattered was that he loved Jeff and that Jeff loved him back. Or so he’d thought at the time because this new contract, the shotgun wedding being planned for next week and the way Jeff can’t stop smiling at or touching Jared is beginning to make a few truths clear to Jensen.
He printed out the documents and had Chris witness his signature while they were at lunch. Chris congratulates him and Jensen smiles and hopes it doesn’t look fake.
*
Jared had unofficially moved into the mansion with them. His clothes were in the master bedroom and they had converted one of the spare rooms into another study and Jared’s two big dogs ran around slobbering one everything.
Jeff and Jensen were in the kitchen cooking when Jensen came in. Jeff whispered something and Jared laughed and then there was a quick kiss over a pot of what smelled like Jeff’s pasta sauce, both of them oblivious to Jensen’s presence.
“Hey,” He said, walking in and sitting on one of the stools.
“Hey,” Jared said cheerfully, leaning over the counter and kissing Jensen. It was sweet and affectionate, the kind of kiss that would have made all the doubts and worries in Jensen’s head disappear if it wasn’t for the fact that Jeff was still standing by the stove stirring the sauce, smiling. “We missed you.”
Jensen licked his lips. “Stayed back a little longer to finish your contract.” He opened his briefcase and brought out the three sets of the contract. “I’ve already signed. Just needs your signatures.”
“Thanks for that,” Jeff said. “Just leave them in my study.”
Jared grinned, “It’s so hot that you’re smart.”
“You’re not so bad yourself,” Jensen flirted easily. Jensen actually liked Jared. He was fun to hang out with, he was hot and smart and under different circumstances Jensen’s pretty sure he would have enjoyed his marriage into the family a lot more if he wasn’t busy angsting about the way Jeff had been acting lately.
Not that Jensen can even fault Jeff for falling in love with Jared, not when Jared’s so damn perfect that he deserves a wedding ring that’s a few times more expensive than Jensen’s and a wedding ceremony that by all indications is going to be epic.
“Not that I mind, but, why are you using the big pot to make sauce?”
“Oh, damn,” Jeff cursed, “My parents called, they’re back early and they couldn’t wait to meet Jared, but we’d already given the staff the night off.”
“Your parents?” Jensen felt the blood draining from his face.
Jared bit his lip, “What’s wrong? Are they mean or something?”
Or something. Jeff’s parents, all four of them were absolutely aweful.
“Don’t worry sweetheart,” Jeff said, coming over to rub a hand over Jared’s shoulder, “They’ll love you.”
*
And they did.
Jeff’s mother’s cooed at Jared and his fathers shook his hand and pat him on the back. The first time Jensen had met Jeff’s parents one of his mothers had pulled Jensen apart and told him that he was a gold digging twink that she wanted away from her son as soon as possible.
Jared’s not getting any of the cold shoulders Jensen’s been getting for seven years. They’re not calling him a gold digging anything even though Jared is one of the engineers working at Jeff’s construction company and is technically fucking his boss.
Jensen didn’t say more than a dozen words all night while Jared kept everyone entertained with his stories. Even now Jeff’s parents were so chilly towards Jensen it was still a surprise he didn’t come away from each encounter with frost bite, and they didn’t seem to get that they were being hypocritical. Jensen imagined that they were happy Jeff finally had someone better than Jensen in his life, because Jensen was so obviously lacking in their eyes.
He helped Jeff clean up and put the dishes into the dishwasher while Jared took the dogs for a run.
Jeff asked Jensen to hand him dishes a few times and Jensen asked for the sponge, but other than that, they didn’t speak.
“Come to bed,” Jeff said, holding his hand out.
Jensen cringed at the cool tone. Imagined the silence following them into the bedroom like Jeff’s parents’ cool disapproval, the one place where Jensen thought Jeff wanted him and felt a wave of nausea.
“I’ve got papers to go though before tomorrow. I’ll be up in a couple of hours.” He said instead and locked himself in his study and crashed on his couch.
*
The wedding is every bit the extravagant affair Jensen had been suspecting but at least it’s tasteful and not comical like some weddings where the vows have to be repeated eight times—and they’re all free to begin celebrating. Jared changing his name to Morgan was a surprise Jensen hadn’t seen coming.
Jensen celebrated with enough champagne to keep himself politely numb against everything. He met Jared’s family, introduced them to his own parents and avoided the Morgans as much as possible without being rude. He shook hands with too many people, accepted their congratulations, danced with Jared and Jared’s sister and sat down to enjoy the rest of the evening as a spectator.
Jeff was beaming like a proud husband, introducing Jared around, hand on his back.
Jensen hated to compare, hated to be that sort of spouse, but this wedding was such a far cry Jeff and Jensen’s wedding; in front of a judge, Jensen in jeans and a dress shirt with a class two hours later and Jeff with a conference half an hour later, rushing through everything and separating with a kiss goodbye.
There had been no honeymoon, just the notion that at some point in the future they would take a weekend and spend it together. That weekend had never come of course, not between Jensen’s studies and Jeff’s schedule, nothing but two photos and the rings to remind Jensen the whole thing actually happened.
Now they were booked on the 11 AM flight to Spain for two weeks of marital bliss, because Jared had taken a few semesters of Spanish and wanted to try it on the locals.
Yeah. Jensen really hates being that spouse, but with enough champagne and too little food he decides it’s alright to indulge in self pit once in a while.
*
“God,” Jared groaned, “I’ve been dying for this.”
Jensen would have agreed—he’d spent the part of the evening not dedicated to feeling sorry for himself admiring how good his husbands looked in their suits—except for how his mouth was full of Jared’s cock.
The last time Jensen had so much as made out with more than one person had been the summer before he left home for college. He’d forgotten just how good it felt, how everyone was just a little more greedy and how you got to have fingers in your arse and big hands tight in your hair forcing you to open up all at the same time.
Jensen knows how he wants this to go, wants to be on his back with Jared pushing into him and Jeff taking Jared, the weight of them both pressing Jensen down, blanketing him in want and love however temporary. He wants to see Jared’s face when Jeff sinks into him—too slowly to be anything but teasing pleasure that drives Jensen mad—and wants to hear Jeff’s breathing shallow when he finally gives in and gives up control.
He wants to have them both, to savour them. Jensen isn’t tragic, he isn’t helpless or abused or self-deprecating. But he isn’t so sure that everything is going to work itself out. And if it doesn’t, Jensen’s too proud to stay in a household where he’s not wanted.
*
Jensen loves the villa they’re staying at for their honeymoon.
He wakes up every morning at dawn, climbs through the tangle of limbs, rinses off the various fluids that might have dried off on him and heads to the private beach.
The water’s clear and a little too cold first thing in the morning, but Jensen still indulges in an hour of quiet, just floating around in the water, still feeling fucked out and happily satisfied, nothing but two beautiful husbands waiting for him and nothing to do but fuck all over the place and occasionally venture out into town to eat good food and be felt up by drunk grabby husbands (and okay maybe they all had sex behind the bar that one time).
When Jensen heads back inside he finds Jared leaning over the breakfast counter watching Mia make breakfast and trying to steal bits of cooked bacon. Jensen smiles because Jared’s done the same thing every morning and Mia’s getting better at catching him and smacking him with a big wooden spoon.
When Jared hears Jensen he perks up. Every morning so far he’s tackled Jensen to the ground and licked every bit of skin he could reach. This morning was no exception and after a few moments of futile struggling Jensen was down on a couch—which is a relief because after last night Jensen isn’t sure his body could have handled the hard stone floor.
“Hmm, salty,” Jared says, licking up Jensen’s neck and across his collar bone.
Jensen tries to smack him away. “I taste disgusting.”
“You taste awesome,” Jared insists and tries to pull Jensen’s shirt away and lick at his belly. “Mmm, makes me think about last night, how you just spread your legs and let me lick Jeff’s come out of your arse—”
“Ngh—”
“Not before breakfast,” Mia yells which has Jared rolling away laughing and Jensen caught somewhere between aroused and mortifyingly embarrassed.
“Stay there,” Jared says, “I’ll get you a plate and we can eat here.”
*
Jeff doesn’t get out of bed till noon and then locks himself in his makeshift study so he can yell at people without disturbing his husbands. Jared and Jensen spend most of their time by the pool and occasionally Jeff wonders out and they can entice him to stay for a swim and a blowjob, maybe more if Jared talks dirty enough (because Jeff might have the sort of rough gravelly voice that makes come here sweetheart sound like filth and porn, but Jared has words that really are absolute filth).
But Jeff always makes time for them in the afternoon and at night before he disappears into the study again to yell at more people in a different time zone.
In all, it’s the best damn ten days Jensen’s had in a long time, warm clean air, good food and so much sex Jensen’s sure his bones have been permanently liquefied.
Which is why it all goes terribly wrong and Jensen ends up with some sort of stomach bug that has him throwing up every day for the last four days of their trip. He spends most of the flight home hopping one of the toilets with Jeff and Jared fussing outside and the flight attendants bringing him wet towels and ginger ale and smiling at him.
Jeff calls Jensen’s doctor and makes him an appointment the moment they’re through the airport.
“I can go see the doctor by myself. You two should take the luggage home and go to work.”
Jeff looked unhappy, but he’s never been one to really force something. “Promise to go straight home afterwards?”
Jensen considered lying. “No. If there’s nothing wrong I’m going into the office to pick up a few files. Then I’ll go home. How’s that?”
“And if something’s wrong?”
Jensen sighed, but he was smiling. “Then I’ll go home and roll around in my soft bed while you two work.”
“Newly weds?” The taxi driver asks when Jensen can finally close the door without Jeff or Jared trying for one last kiss.
Jensen smiles and waves as the taxi pulls away. He’s so damn happy his heart might just burst.
*
Jensen looks at his doctor blankly because what he’s saying just can’t be right.
“I was tested. When I was fourteen I was tested and it was pretty conclusive. I have all the parts, but I’m infertile.”
“Jensen,” Doctor Lee tried again, “Sometimes the tests can be wrong. They’re still not a hundred percent, even with today’s technology.”
“But—How far?”
“Eight weeks. Nine maybe.”
Oh God. Jensen couldn’t. He couldn’t be pregnant. Not now, when everything had been going so well. Why the fuck did he have to go and screw everything up. It was like he was sabotaging himself on purpose.
“So I still have time for an abortion?”
The question surprised the Doctor. It surprised Jensen. He hadn’t even thought about that yet, hadn’t even begun to consider all the myriad of options, but obviously an abortion was the only solution.
Dr. Lee looked shocked. Jensen really hoped he wasn’t secretly one of those closet hippies all about mother nature’s will or worse. “Jensen, are you sure that’s the only option—”
“Obviously not, but it’s the best option. It’s the option I want to take.”
“Maybe you should discuss the matter with your husbands first.”
Jensen wanted to growl a little at that. “My husbands don’t need to fucking know about this. It’s my baby, I get to choose whether I want it or not. And I don’t.”
“That’s not what I meant at all Jensen.” Dr. Lee insisted. “Have you even considered the health risks you might be dealing with? Just the fact that the screening system didn’t pick up your fertility could point to complications. You could be endangering your life going through an abortion.
Look, Jensen, you’ve been my patient for years, and I don’t mean to overstep any boundaries but you have two husbands and the financial ability to provide for a child.”
“You’re right. You shouldn’t overstep any boundaries.” Jensen hissed. “I want to have an abortion. You can introduce me to a doctor, or, I can find another doctor.”
“Alright, I’ll introduce you to a clinic. But first I want you to meet with a doctor Howard. He’s something of a specialist when it comes to terminating pregnancies for at risk men. He’ll make sure it’s all handled safely and he has the experience ensure it’s safe for you to go through with the procedure.”
“Good.” Jensen says, takes the card and letter Dr. Lee hands him. He’s dialling Dr. Howard’s number before he’s out of the clinic.
*
Jensen doesn’t get any sleep that night. He pleads jet lag and gets out of bed. Jared looks like he wants to protest and Jeff looks unhappy, but Jensen smiles and tells them to go to sleep. It doesn’t help his cause that the morning sickness had turned into evening sickness and he’d forgone dinner in favour of clutching the toilet bowel and praying for some respite just so he could have a minute to deal with the fact that he was a ticking time bomb, pregnant—after making a big deal of telling Jeff he couldn’t get pregnant—and married to a man who’d made it absolutely clear to Jensen six years ago that he had no interest in ever having children. Jeff had never brought the matter up again or said anything to suggest that he’d changed his mind.
Jeff had dealt with Jensen with Jensen’s studies, late nights and exams and stumbling home drunk at three A.M. when Jeff had had five A.M. conference calls. He’d dealt with Jensen through applications to law schools and then through law school. He’d paid for everything so Jensen hadn’t had to worry about anything but his studies.
He’d been perfect and wonderful and doting and yeah, maybe sometimes Jensen had watched other people his age with their toddlers at the park and imagined what it would be like, but it had all been fleeting.
Besides, Jensen had siblings who were sure to have children and those children would need a cool uncle to spoil them rotten.
Jensen didn’t want to fuck things up. Not when just a few weeks ago he’d made himself sick with worry over their marriage to Jared. He couldn’t go through that again. All Jensen wanted was to get rid of the baby and have things go back to normal.
And hell, if Jeff never found out about the baby, then there would never be anything to worry about. And afterwards, Jensen was going to go on two different types of contraceptives to make sure he was fucking sterile.
*
The wait is excruciating.
The earliest appointment available with Dr. Howard had been at the end of the week and while he’d promised a fussing Jared and tight lipped Jeff that he’d look after himself, Jensen wasn’t about to spend three days at home, alone biting his nails and worrying.
He did what any young driven professional did to deal with stress when drowning in alcohol wasn’t an option—he went into work and took on as many cases as he could.
He called Jared at lunch to let him know he’d gone in to work and that he was fine. He got Jared’s voicemail and left him a message which was actually safer than talking to Jared and spent the afternoon pouring through contracts.
He was home in time for dinner, and found Jeff’s mothers sitting with Jared and playing with the dogs.
“Oh, hello Jensen,” Hannah said, smiling dryly. “Don’t worry about us, we’ve had Jared and his dogs to keep us company.”
Jensen blinked at the two women petting and cooing at Jared’s dogs.
“Well,” Helen huffed, “At least the dogs are polite enough to greet a guest.”
“I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you.”
“Obviously,” Hanna said dryly. “If it were you we’d never be invited over.”
“Um, right. I’m going to go freshen up and see about dinner.”
“Oh don’t worry. Jared’s already instructed the cook.”
Jensen blinked. Jared shrugged, smiling and showing off his dimples. Right.
“Excuse me.” Jensen said and despite what it might have looked like did not run away upstairs.
Jeff was coming out of his study when Jensen ran into him.
“Really,” Jensen snapped, “You couldn’t have given me a fucking heads up?”
“I tried to call you. Twice. You sent me to voicemail.” Jeff said. He didn’t look angry but his mouth was a tight line and Jensen didn’t really give a fuck. It was so angry he had to be shaking with it.
“When your parents show up you don’t just call twice. You call a hundred times to let me know they’re here and waiting. You always do. Last time they showed up like this you called me thirteen times and then started texting. You fucking called Chris and told him to tell me to head home.”
“Jared was here this time,” Jeff said, “He had things under control.”
“Not the fucking point,” Jensen hissed. “Keeping things under control here wasn’t my concern. You could have warned me. Could have told me what I was walking into.”
“Woah,” Jeff said, angry, “What you’re walking into? They’re my parents Jensen, not the minions of hell.”
“Yeah, you’d think that,” Jensen snapped without thinking.
“What?”
“You know what Jeff, just let it go.”
Jeff grabbed Jensen’s wrist. “We’re not done here.”
Jensen shook him loose without any trouble. “Yeah, we are.”
*
Dinner was the tortured event all occasions involving Jeff’s parents had been for the last seven years. With exception that this time Jeff’s mothers were too busy cooing over Jared to send too many scathing comments Jensen’s way (not that they didn’t manage to get a couple in there—they’d had years to practice the art of making their insults sound like observations).
The dinner was apparently the most spectacular their cook Blair had ever made—and wasn’t it lovely that someone was finally seeing to the household and making sure they had the right sort of wine in the cellar.
That wasn’t even the worst of it. No matter what he did Jensen couldn’t ignore the dark look Jeff was sending his way. Usually, Jeff tried to at least include Jensen in the conversation. Tonight, they started talking about the company and the new technology they were developing and how Jared was helping (and isn’t it nice to have a spouse who truly understands and appreciates the work you do) and Jensen who didn’t work in construction and couldn’t appreciate whatever it was Jared’s engineering team were putting together kept his mouth shut.
Until the evening sickness set in. Because Jensen just couldn’t catch a break.
*
It was sort of sad; Jensen had spent so much time clutching the toilet bowel he’d figured out which position he’d be more comfortable in. Usually, the nausea passed after a few minutes of dry heaving. Tonight, Jensen’s body had other plans and tried to bring up everything Jensen had eaten over the last three days.
He could still hear everyone in the dining room; he could hear Jeff saying “Just leave him alone” and Helen’s “Really Jared I’m sure he’s alright. Just wanting a little attention. Jensen likes to be the centre of attention.”
Jensen doesn’t bother going back to the table. He didn’t care if it was rude or not. Didn’t really worry about the bullshit Helen and Hannah were going to put him through next time.
He washed his mouth and headed upstairs. Contemplated sleeping in the master bedroom then thought better of it, grabbed a suit and his toiletries from the bathroom and went to sleep in his study.
He’d shower in a guest bedroom tomorrow morning and head out to work as early as he could.
One night down, two still to go.
*
Dr. Howard wasn’t the sort of doctor Jensen had expected. He was all smiles and cheer and not some sleazy little man with beady judging eyes.
He was still smiling and cheerful when he told Jensen that based on all the tests he’d run, having an abortion was pretty much suicidal.
*
Jensen allows himself a weekend to wallow in self-pity and pulls himself together for his nine A.M. on Monday morning. He hasn’t really spoken to Jared or Jeff and just the thought of sleeping in the same bed with them is enough to have Jensen hyperventilating.
Anyway, it’s not like Jensen in on great terms with Jeff who still hasn’t forgiven Jensen for calling his mothers—what exactly? Jensen hadn’t called Jeff’s mothers anything. It’s a little odd because Jensen has never really fought with Jeff. He isn’t sure if there’s a certain ten step program towards reconciliation or if people just have sex and pretend that the argument never happened.
Jensen spends most of the next week in the study. Actually, he spends most of the week at the office, but when he’s not at the office he tries to be in the study. He still eats with his husbands sometimes but the conversation is angry and stilted.
Two weeks later Jeff calls Jensen at work and makes a point of letting him know all of Jeff’s parents are coming over for dinner.
Jensen doesn’t go home until one A.M. It’s not a surprise that no one’s waiting up for him.
*
“Just so you know,” Jensen says to his stomach, “You’re sort of fucking things up for me here.”
His stomach doesn’t reply which was sort of what Jensen was expecting, but he feels better now that he has some dialogue going with the enemy. For a week Jensen’s been sleeping in the study and avoiding his husbands wherever he can. Jeff’s a sulky bitch right back and Jensen’s probably not hallucinating the fact that Jeff’s parents seem to be coming over every other night—because yes, apparently Jensen’s perfect sweet husband had a mean vindictive streak a mile wide. Jared mopes, walks his dogs and works out at all hours of the morning or night.
He tries to coax Jensen out of his room a few times, but Jensen tells him to fuck off then yells at the damn dogs for getting into his study and Jared backs down.
Jensen feels like he’s in limbo. He knows that his time in Jeff’s house is limited. Even if he were to get down on his knees and beg Jeff and Jared for forgives and spend the rest of his life taking shit from the Morgans and not saying a word in retaliation, Jeff is eventually going to get rid of him.
In fact, there’s a whole paragraph about pregnancy and its consequences in Jensen’s marriage contract. It’s grounds for a divorce and Jensen walks away with a hundred and twenty thousand dollars after signing documents releasing Jeff and Jared of any future emotional and financial responsibility for the child.
After Jeff finds out about the pregnancy it’ll only be a matter of time before Jensen finds himself served with papers and no home to go to.
Jensen hates his twenty one year old self for being so stupid and so sure of things like Jeff’s love or his own sterility.
Jensen sighs. Flips through the documents he’s been drawing up. Somewhere in between all the cases he’s handling are drafts of his own divorce worked out with one of the divorce attorneys at the firm and worked over with the in-house accountant. Jensen tries not to think too hard about what he’s doing, or how that suicidal abortion is still an option if he wants to try and hope he’s in the ten percent who survive. “You better appreciate all this shit when you’re fifteen and hating authority figures.”
*
The mansion has been awkward and uncomfortable for weeks now, but tonight it’s also silent. The whole structure seems to loom, dark and uninviting and Jensen wants to get back into his car and maybe spend the night with Chris or in a hotel.
But he’s finally sorted out his affairs, spent a gruelling afternoon with his accountant working out the numbers and putting the final touches to his papers and now he was ready to face his husbands. Jensen had to get through this and move on and out. All this angsting was playing with Jensen’s digestive system and that couldn’t have been good for the baby.
Inside the house is painfully quiet. No dog, no staff (no chance of a hot dinner to distract Jensen of the impending doom).
He finds Jeff sitting alone in one the living rooms, bottle of whiskey on the table in front of him and a glass in his hand. He looks tiered and resigned and Jensen’s almost across the room and offering comfort before he remembers that he doesn’t get to do that anymore.
Jensen knows he’s been a bitch the last couple of weeks, understands that Jared and Jeff—and even Jared’s dogs—didn’t deserve any of it. Jensen had been hurting and confused and as a result he’d hurt everyone else, pulled the household apart, made their staff unhappy and now this: Jeff looking more exhausted than Jensen’s ever seen him. His cloths are wrinkled, the lines on his face look suddenly more defined and his hair looks like it’s been brushed out of shape by fidgety, frustrated fingers.
Jensen might be angry but the least he can do is end this mess so that people can get back to their lives.
“Jeff?”
Jeff doesn’t look away from the glass in his hand.
“Jeff,” Jensen tries again, “I need to talk to you.”
“I called Dr. Lee today.” Jeff says, and Jensen’s stomach drops. “Wanted to make you an appointment. Thought you might be sick. Was worried about you.”
“Where’s Jared?” Jensen asks. If everything is going to come out Jared needs to be here for it.”
Jeff snorted, possibly a little further on his way to drunk than Jensen had anticipated. “Not here. Wanted to talk to you alone first. Lee’s secretary said you were seeing some other doctor now. Gave me his number and I called around a bit. Found out he’s a specialist in terminating pregnancies in at risk men.”
“Jeff,” Jensen tried, but Jeff cut him off.
“Did you have an abortion Jen?”
“I tried to,” Jensen says and can’t seem to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “But there’s a ninety percent mortality rate and I’m not willing to die Jeff.”
“You’re still pregnant?” Jeff asks. There’s isn’t the slightest bit of anticipation there, no excitement, just wide-eyed dread. A tiny spark of hope Jensen hadn’t even been aware of snuffs out. He hadn’t really expected Jeff to suddenly declare his joy and—and what? What exactly had Jensen been hoping for?
“That’s not your problem, not if you sign these.” Jensen says icily. His hands are shaking as he opens his briefcase and pulls out the file he’s prepared and drops it down on the table in front of Jeff. “I’m divorcing you.”
“You’re what?”
“Getting a divorce Jeff. Leaving. Not getting you involved. Tell me you’re not too fucking drunk to understand.”
“Really? All this for an extra hundred grand?”
Jensen doesn’t flinch. Jeff might as well have slapped him and called him a gold digging whore the way his chest blooms with pain.
“Change in familial circumstance.” He says as steadily as he can. “As the spouse who is unable to deal with the new arrangements, I’m divorcing. You’re not required to pay anything.”
Jeff blinks. “What about Jared?”
“He’ll receive one third of everything I have. In addition to that and in order to pre-emptively address any further problems, I’m reimbursing you for all monetary contributions made on my behalf.”
“You’re paying me back for law school?”
“And my share of the living expenses. Half of all the bills since I moved in. And my car.”
Jeff runs a hand through his hair before draining his glass. “Jen. Even if you empty out your accounts you’re still going to be three hundred and fifty grand short.”
Obviously Jensen’s not the only one who’s been talking to their accountant. “Three hundred and fifty two thousand eight hundred, actually. Had the number rounded up. Of course I shouldn’t be surprised. Took me two days to work out the number. Funny how you just happen to have it handy.”
“Jensen, don’t—.”
“My parents are lending me the difference.”
“Yeah, I bet they’re over the moon. Never fucking liked me.”
Jensen shrugged. “Don’t’ pretend your parents won’t be just as happy. They’ve been itching to get rid of me since the moment we met.”
“Jensen my parents don’t want to get rid of you. That’s insane.”
“No, it’s insane that I’ve had to deal with their belittling and prodding for so long without you so much as noticing. At first I thought it was just their way, rich over protective parents with a complex so damn sure no one was ever going to be good enough for their boy—”
“Jensen,” Jeff warned. “Those are my parents you’re talking about.”
“And I was your fucking husband.” Jensen yelled. “I mean, I totally get it now. Compared to Jared I’ve got a lot of short comings but I always thought they were just fucking nasty. But then Jared shows up and they’re fucking swooning over him and how Jared’s perfect and couldn’t do a fucking thing wrong if he tried.”
“I don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about Jensen. And leave Jared out of it. He’s got nothing to do with this.”
It hurts Jensen to hear that. To see Jeff jump up and protect Jared when in six years he’s never said a word in Jensen’s defence. Jensen feels so stupid for not figuring it out earlier. He really was just a trophy wife. Just a pretty young thing to hang off of Jeff’s arm and make his competitors jealous. No wonder no one had expected Jensen to actually finish school and find a job that wasn’t in some way controlled by the Morgan group.
They were probably still coming to terms with the fact that Jensen had a functioning brain.
And an expiry date, apparently.
*
Chris looks Jensen up and down, eyes lingering on the bruised knuckles of Jensen’s right hand and just says “Come on in.”
“I was going to get a hotel—”
“Don’t be an idiot Jen.” Chris says, pulling Jensen inside and shutting the door. Jensen doesn’t really know what to do with himself so he lets Chris move him to the couch and hand him a bottle of beer. Jensen doesn’t bother pointing out that it’s past two A.M. “You got anything stronger?”
“That’s all you’re getting tonight. You don’t want to wake up tomorrow miserable and have to deal with a hangover. Trust me.”
“Steve not around?”
“You wanna tell me what happened or are you going to try and make small talk?”
Jensen rubbed his eyes.
Chris shrugged. “Just asking because you’re really bad at small talk.”
“I just punched Jeff. After I gave him divorce papers. And I’m pregnant.”
“Okay,” Chris says calmly before snatching the beer out of Jensen’s loose grip. “How about you start from the beginning and try to make sense while I find something stronger for myself.”
*
Chris offers to go over to Jeff and Jared’s and pick up everything Jensen’s left behind and might need for Monday, but it’s five A.M. and Chris is just on the wrong side of tipsy so Jensen helps Chris to bed and passes out in the spare room.
He’s woken up a few hours later to banging on the front door and someone calling his name, but it’s just past seven and Jensen has no desire to deal with the world so he rolls over, pulls the comforter over his head and drifts back off to sleep.
Eventually, the banging disappears and Jensen sighs happily into the pillow, making vague plans about spending the rest of the weekend in bed.
He’s really not expecting Jared to barge unceremoniously into the room a few minutes later.
Jared’s on him in an instant, pushing the covers away and patting Jensen down like he’s trying to make sure Jensen’s all there. “Christ Jen. Fucking worried out of my mind.”
“Jared, calm down.” Jensen says sleepily, trying to wake up and slap away Jared’s fussing at the same time
Jared pulled away, “Calm down? How am I supposed to calm the fuck down Jensen?” Jared yelled, “I got home to one drunk husband, one missing husband and fucking divorce papers Jen. I left Jeff in the toilet mumbling about you having a baby and hating his parents. Don’t you fucking tell me to calm down.”
“Okay,” Jensen tries and rubs his eyes until he can focus.
You look terrible, is the first thing he wants to say when he looks Jared over. It’s true. Jared’s a mess. His cloths are wrinkled, his hair resembles a bird’s nest and he could use a shave. He looks exhausted, and Jensen feels a little twinge in his heart before he remembers that Jared’s the source of at least half of his current problems.
“What do you want?” He snaps and stands up. “It’s too fucking early and your yelling is gonna get Chris kicked out of his apartment.”
“I don’t really care about Chris. Or his apartment. I care about you not being at home and ignoring everyone when you are and being so unhappy you’re drawing up divorce papers." His says, then takes Jensen's hand. "I care about you being pregnant and not telling me. Us.”
“It’s none of your business Jared. It doesn’t concern you.” Jensen snaps and tries to pull his hand away.
“Yeah, see funny thing about being married to you is that it does concern me.” Jared says dangerously and Jensen’s heart skips a beat.
Jensen’s sure that during their time together he’s never seen Jared angry. Even when Jensen had yelled at the dogs Jared had only been resigned and a little sad.
But right now, Jared looks angry. He looks taller, looming over Jensen with narrowed eyes and thinned lips. It’s entirely possible that his voice has also dropped an octave because Jensen has shivers running down his spine that have nothing to do with being naked under the blankets he’s clutching.
“You had no right to hide it from me.” Jared hisses. “Or Jeff. I can’t even figure out what you’re thinking or doing.”
“What I’m doing,” Jensen snapped, “Is exactly what Jeff wants. He doesn’t want children Jared. Made a big show if it in front of my parents. His lawyers put a nice little clause in our contract. Extra twenty grand for each year of marriage if I divorced him while I was aware of my pregnancy. You’ve only been around for a few months, you don’t know fuck all. I’m getting out before he throws me out.”
“Why would he do that? There’s nothing like that in my contract.”
“You had the whirlwind romance version of marriage Jared. No one’s calling you an opportunistic whore and Jeff’s parents didn’t spend hours trying to talk him out of marrying you. They sent Jeff prostitutes the night before the wedding. That was after they tried to pay me to leave him. You’re fucking perfect and Jeff loves you. That’s why there aren’t two dozen clauses in your contract. Because no one thinks you’re a gold digging whore.”
Jared looks shocked and Jensen feels a tendril of pride for putting that look on his face, for getting him to see that not everyone has it so easy.
“I can’t take it anymore.” Jensen whispers, I can’t take being second best to you anymore. It hurts and I can’t keep pretending it’s alright.”
The words aren’t even out of Jensen’s mouth before he’s being tackled back onto the bed, bouncing back precariously with two hundred and fifty pounds pressing him down onto the bed.
“Don’t say that,” Jared says, mouth against Jensen’s neck. Jensen wants to kick him off and start yelling but Jared’s holding on, clutching even, desperate and tight, his body curling around Jensen’s and seeping warmth when Jensen hadn’t even known he’d been cold. “You’re so smart and perfect most days I can barely keep up. You make me want to be better, be the kind of person you can look at and be proud of.” Jared’s hand curls protectively over Jensen’s belly.
“Jared,” Jensen tries, Jared don’t, but all the things he wants to say sound so stupid. Jared doesn’t give him the chance anyway, shooshing Jensen rubbing his big hand all over Jensen’s belly, carful and possessive and very close to Jensen’s naked dick. It’s the first time anyone other than a doctor has touched Jensen’s stomach. It’s certainly the first time it’s been touched in anyway other than clinically. But there’s a warmth and tenderness to Jared’s touch that Jensen hadn’t known he’d been craving.
“You’re sort of ridiculously perfect and the fact that you don’t see it just makes it worse. You’re sweet and funny and Jeff worships the ground you walk on—current stupidity aside. And without sounding like a creepy stalker I was probably in love with you before you even knew my name.”
“Really?”
Jared laughs, “Yeah. Office Christmas party, two years ago. I’d been with the company for a few weeks and I was miserable so I was hanging out alone and trying to drink my insecurities away and suddenly this gorgeous drunk guy comes up next to me and asks me what’s wrong. Then, before I can answer he pats me on the back and says You know what, it doesn’t even matter. Don’t let the fuckers put you down, you’re probably smarter than them.”
“How eloquent,” Jensen says because he’s got vague memories of that Christmas party buried under the workload of a junior associate and still making time to hang off of Jeff’s arm. And yeah, he might have had enough drinks to work up the courage to talk to complete strangers like that.
“Yeah, he was. Of course before I could hit on him and take advantage of his drunken state he walks off and heads right for the big boss and plants a sloppy kiss on him. Turned out he was the boss’ husband, recent graduate from law school with honours and way out of my league.”
Jensen can’t help but snort. “Nice story.”
“Not a story,” Jared insists, “Waited two damn years to jump your bones. In fact this is a nice big comfy bed. Let me show you just what I was thinking about—”
It’s so easy to let Jared roll him this way and that until he’s spread out on the bed with Jared between his legs and cupping Jensen’s belly in both hands. There isn’t really anything there yet, just the beginnings of a bump, but Jared is grinning and Jensen’s too exhausted from the fight with Jeff and the lack of sleep to deny himself something that felt so good.
And after weeks of nothing it feels really good. Jared’s hands are a revelation and his mouth on Jensen’s throat and collar feels fucking magical and by the time Jared make his way down to Jensen’s naval, Jensen has both hands in Jared’s hair and not an ounce of shame for the way his pushing Jared down towards his dick. It feels so decadent, just lying back with Jared practically servicing him.
“Tell me I’m not the one making you unhappy,” Jared begs, “Tell me it’s not because of me.”
“It’s not you,” Jensen lies because he can’t bear to see that look of devastation of Jared’s face. “It’s not you Jared, please—”
Jared grins, happy enough to believe Jensen “Well, okay, since you ask so nicely,” and goes down on Jensen with enthusiasm.
*
Chris was giving Jared the stink eye for apparently picking the lock to let himself in, even when Jared conveyed his apology through a big cup of coffee and a greasy takeout bag.
It didn’t help that both Jared and Jensen looked happy and well fucked while Chris was hung over and cranky about his door.
“Stop making eyes at each other,” Chris growled. “Just take your husband home and sort this mess out.”
Which was all good and well for Chris to say, but Jensen felt some of his good mood dissipate and Jared’s hand tightened around Jensen’s under the table.
“He’s right,” Jared says, “We need to go home. Sort this all out.”
*
Somewhere deep down, Jensen hates confrontation. It’s ironic, given his choice of career and the way he can talk other lawyers down when he needs to, but when it comes to his personal life Jensen has never bothered to stand his ground and kick and yell until he gets his way.
It was a mistake on Jensen’s part of course, because he never bothered to tell Jeff about all the things that were making him unhappy, and Jensen’s never regretted that as much as he does on the drive back home when he has the chance to think things through with the comfort of Jared’s presence and support backing him.
“So,” Jared said, “You never bothered to tell him you were unhappy about the clauses. You just signed.”
Jensen shrugged. “I was in love. My parents were telling me that it was a bad idea. Jeff’s parents were saying worse. I just wanted Jeff. Signing those papers didn’t seem like such a big deal.”
“It was a big deal,” Jared says, “You were unhappy. All these years and you didn’t say a thing.”
“Wasn’t really an issue—” Jensen says, but that’s not right. It had been issue, feeding every insecurity Jensen had had, but he’d pushed them away and just moved on. He’d never tried to talk to Jeff about anything in six years.
It was no wonder Jeff had looked confused and stupefied when Jensen had finally confronted him.
“Just learnt to get over it,” he says honestly. “Thought it was alright. And it was, until it wasn’t.
*
Jared holds Jensen’s hand when they walk through the mansion that Jensen has never liked. He’s all smiles and warm reassurance that Jensen would like to pretend he doesn’t need, but might actually be the only thing stopping him from bolting and running away again.
Jeff’s in the dining room curled over a spread of papers. Misha, Jeff’s lawyer is there with him, pointing to the papers with a pen and speaking. A few steps closer and Jensen can tell that the divorce papers Jensen had drawn up are there too.
Jensen’s heart skips a beat and actual pain blooms in his chest. He must make a sound of some sort because Jared is pulling him in close, making escape impossible, not that there’s any point now, not when Jeff’s already spotted them. He’s halfway out of his seat, arm stretched in front of him like he’s trying to reach out.
“Jen,” Jeff says desperately, “It’s not what you think,” and then he’s across the room right in front of Jensen, reaching out until his fingers brush against Jensen’s hand. Jensen doesn’t know what he could possibly want but he pulls away from the touch.
There’s a bruise on Jeff’s face, nasty looking red purple mess that’s probably going to get a lot worse before it gets any better and Jensen’s a little stunned to see it, such a physical reminder of all the hurt and rage he hadn’t been able to contain the night before.
Misha’s probably photographed and documented the whole thing.
“Jesus Jeff,” Jared swears, pushing himself in front of Jensen and growling menacingly, “I’ve only been gone a couple of hours, think you could have at least waited a fucking day before you went all—”
“If you’d just give me a minute,” Jeff hissed, “You’re all so good at jumping to fucking conclusions—”
“You have your lawyer here, Jeff, looking over divorce papers.” Jensen said quietly. His voice is shaky, worse than his first day in court, but he wasn’t going to just stand there and let Jeff and Jared argue over his head. “Not a lot of different conclusions you could draw from that.”
“I’m trying to make things right,” Jeff said, “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” Jared snorted at that but Jeff went on, “Misha is here so we can work out a way to dissolve the marriage contracts.”
Hot anger sizzled through Jensen and his fist clenched with the urge to strike out again. It’s insane, the sudden rage. Jensen has no reference point for it, doesn’t know what to do with it if he doesn’t use it to physically hurt something the way he’s hurting inside, all hot pain in his chest and ache over his heart. So he makes his voice as hard as possible when he says, “What the hell are you trying to do Jeff, if this is some sick little game you’re trying to play—.”
“I’m not!” Jeff insists sincerely. He’s begging, like he’d be down on his knees if he could be. “I’m trying to make things right because I was too stupid to do things the right way from the beginning. You never told me you were hurting and I didn’t see it. You’re so unhappy you’re leaving and I’m just trying to fix things so you won’t hate me, and maybe give me a little time to set things right. Please Jen, give me a chance.”
It’s shocking, to see Jeff beg for anything, let alone for Jensen to stay or forgive him. Jensen’s never had easy with Jeff, never had everything he’s wanted and craved handed to him just like that.
“Baby!” Jensen says, a little stupidly, because Jeff’s near tears and begging Jensen not to go and Jensen really wasn’t expecting any of this when he walked in the door. “You don’t want the baby.”
Jeff steps in even closer, so close they’re breathing the same air. His hand hesitates, hovering over Jensen’s stomach, eyes flicking over Jensen’s shoulder, to Jared maybe, before pressing his hand firmly to Jensen’s stomach. “You have no idea,” he said, just as Jensen squeaked at the contact. “You have no idea how badly I want this baby.”
“You want the baby,” Jensen repeated.
“Yes,” Jeff said, leaning in for a kiss that Jensen allowed. “A lot.”
“Doesn’t mean I forgive you.” Jensen said, “I don’t know if I can, but I’m not just going to run away. And if you want the baby, well, that’s great and I won’t keep you out of its life, but I won’t let you use it as an excuse to tie me down to you.”
Jeff looked disappointed, “That’s fair enough. But you know, I never would. Use the baby. To make you stay I mean. I wouldn’t do that.”
Jensen nodded. He knew that Jeff wouldn’t, but Jeff’s parents had a way of doing just that sort of thing. And Jeff might not have been able to see it, but Jensen wasn’t blind enough to ignore how desperate Jeff’s parents were for grand-children and heirs.
“But I think I need space. Away from you and your parents and this house.”
“Jensen—” Jeff began, but Jensen held up his hand.
“No, listen. I’ve been looking at apartments closer to the business district. Easier for me to get to work and I’ll get some breathing space. You and Jared are welcome to be there whenever you want and to stay the night. We really need to talk and sort a few things out, but,” Jensen bit his lip, “I think I’ve fought too hard all these years to keep you Jeff, and I’m not just going to give you up now.”
*
“So,” Jeff said, grinning, “What do you think?”
Jensen wasn’t really sure what he should have been thinking about the house Jeff was showing him. It was a huge terrace house, six bedrooms, big kitchen, and very close to the apartment Jensen had picked for himself. It was a far cry for the mansion an hour drive away and Jensen could admit that he liked it.
“What does Jared think?”
Jeff snorted, “Jared wants to know what you think. He’s just glad there’s a park a five minute walk away.”
“It’s nice. I like it. Now are you going to tell me what it’s for?”
“Jared and I, we decided to sell the mansion. Move closer to where you want to be. There won’t be any staff. My parents will never just walk in and Jared’s already picked out a colour scheme for the nursery.”
Jensen’s heart swells in his chest, warm and happy. Things had been touch and go for a while. Even if Jeff had agreed to let Jensen move out it didn’t mean that he wasn’t hurt. It hadn’t helped that Jared had spent more time with Jensen, making him dinner and rubbing his ankles, even when Jensen had insisted that his ankles didn’t actually hurt. Jeff had just shown up to dinner one night and kept on showing up, commandeering the couch as his bed for a few nights until Jensen found him half on the floor, called him an idiot and dragged him back to the bedroom.
“You know it was your parents who insisted on the pregnancy clause, right?” Jeff had said, when they finally sat down to talk things through and Jensen had gone from shocked to outraged to trying to call his parents and possibly yell at them, until Jeff had taken his phone and held him until he’d calmed down while Jared fussed and made the foul little herbal tea that was supposed to make Jensen feel better.
“Why would they—fuck, I thought it was your parents.”
Jeff had looked adorably confused. “My parents have been not so subtly pushing me at adoption agencies for years. Why would they—actually, nevermind. Your parents were worried that I was going to get you pregnant and tie you down and I don’t know, stop you from going to school.”
“But you said—you said you didn’t want children—”
“So you wouldn’t feel pressured!”
After the subsequent tears and yelling, Jared handed Jensen a big cup of tea and rubbed his belly. “So, you two should probably talk things out more often.” Jensen had sniffled and Jeff had looked wrecked, but everything was a little better.
And now, this.
“Come on Jensen. What do you say?”
Just as Jensen’s about to embarrass himself and say or do something sappy and stupid, there’s an excited bark from the second floor and a moment later, two big dogs are running down the stairs, a dishevelled Jared chasing after them.
“Um,” Jared says, once the dogs have calmed down. “Have you asked him yet? Did he say yes?”
Jeff looks petulant “Was just about to.”
“Well, come on. A big house, city views, easy walk to the office, the dogs and your husbands. What’s it gonna be Jensen?”
“Yeah.” Jensen says, “Okay. Yes.”
*
Epilogue
“You know, I think I’m actually going to miss this place.” Jensen’s looking through the kitchen draws, making sure they’re empty. The movers had been through a few days earlier and without any furniture, the house looked oddly sad.
“We could always keep it.” Jeff offers quickly. He’s been like that for weeks. Jumping to provide anything he thinks Jensen might want. It probably has something to do with Jensen’s protruding belly and that since the nursery was completed so quickly, there really is nothing else for Jensen’s husbands occupy themselves with, other than random acts of craziness.
“Ah, no. That’s okay. Just having little moment of nostalgia. Spent a lot of time christening this place, is all.”
Jeff hummed, grinning happily.
Jared pouted, “Not fair. I never got to christen the place.”
“You’re right,” Jensen said, seriously. “This could cause terrible, unresolvable tension is our relationship. And obviously, the only way to solve it is to fuck all over the place until Jared’s satisfied.”
Which is why, fifteen minutes later, Jeff’s parents walk in on their son and son-in-laws making out very enthusiastically in an otherwise empty kitchen.
The next few hours are hysterical.