He slowly guided her upper body towards him, her back finding its way to his chest. He felt how Charlie almost collapsed as her knees were giving up from under her and he moved one of his arms to and around her waist. He waited again, while his heart rate quickened. And then something happened Bass never saw coming. Instead of fighting him, instead of pushing him away she just let herself sink into his chest. He instinctively pulled her closer, his arms firmly around her, the weight of her body against his own.
Miles was still missing, and Charlie had woken up to yet another day with no sign of him. Charlie felt nauseating worry as she grabbed her stuff and weapons, as she literally felt felt sick to her stomach at the possibility of losing another piece of herself. That feeling was keeping her company as a dark cloud over her head every step she took this grey cold morning in an abondoned landscape. They had walked and had searched for Miles for hours now. Monroe had barely looked at her when they had walked out of camp hours before sunrise as he had joined them.
The sky was grey while a cold wind was beating straight through her leather jacket. It was not even noon when they reached a crossing and because of the start of the pavement of the road before them, she was not able to track anymore. She had no idea where to go next.
Monroe was his giant asshole self as he made an insulting comment filled with bitter sarcasm about her tracking skills. She noticed he was not being a jerk on purpose, and that he was probably just as worried as she was, but it made her feel like punching him right in the face if she wasn't feeling so exhausted. So maybe not on purpose, but still a jerk. Did he really expect her to track over pavement?
Monroe took the lead and decided they had to split up, each of them taking a road. She knew she was taking a risk going out there on her own, but she knew they had to. She had to for Miles. And it was not like she had never been on her own, there where it had been just the road and her. Her mother and Monroe did not seem to protest very much either. In fact, her mother did not protest at all. Her mind, no doubt, with Miles.
But instead of finding Miles, Neville found her within thrity minutes. And when he ordered her to move her ass back to their camp because he was convinced Jason was there, it was Jason's dead face, that kept her company for every agonizing step of the way,
One hour later and Charlie was trembling as she pushed herself to keep on going and to leave the safe house and Tom Neville in it behind her As she stumbled through the forest, flashes of what happened after he had found her, were filling her head. She relived them over and over again.
The safe house. Neville's gun. The shots he had fired over her head. His bullets in the wall behind her. Guilt, pain, Jason's body in her arms, bleeding out. Charlie felt unfocused when she had walked away from a broken Neville while her whole body had been termbling. Unfocused and sharp at the same time. Not believing herself that she was able to walk away alive from this. From him. After what she did in Austin. She did not think she deserved it, but somehow she had gotten a second change. She was alive, after he pulled the trigger. An empty clip saving her life. The sound still resounding in her head. The shock on Neville's face and the numbdness of his grieve her escape route.
She kept on walking as far as her feet could take her. Searching for her mother and Monroe, to warn them and their camp for the threat that was Neville still out there. She heard them before she saw them, their voices filled with cold and hate.
'If I am that bad, and you are that good, please explain to me that night in Philly,' It was Monroe's voice. Charlie took one more step as she could see the both of them standing near a small creeck. He was standing so close to her mother, his face filled with harsh lines, his eyes filled with rage and hurt at the same time.
'I was your prisoner,' It was her mother's voice, as Rachel's eyes were filled with intense loathing.
Charlie felt how her veins were filling with ice. She heard the words, as her mind was slowly understanding them. It somehow felt like it had nothing to do with her, with her life, like it was not real.
'Nobody forced you,' Monroe's voice sounded on edge.
Her mother and Monroe did not know she was there, they had not noticed her, and Charlie felt the intense need to keep it this way. She was not able to watch them, to listen to another word that came from their mouths. She vaguely registered the sound of a hand slapping bare skin. She did not have to look anymore to know her mother just hit Monroe. She felt exhausted, her legs felt numb. The words, still there in the bitter cold and grey air around her, slowly turned to unwanted images in her head.
Philly. Her mother. Monroe.
The woman who invested all her time in hate for this man. The woman who switched between missing Danny, revenging Danny and hating Monroe even more until the point where Charlie felt like she did not matter any more. Everything had been about Danny so many times. But she was still alive and here, needing her mother. Charlie loved Danny, and understood why he had been the main focus of her partens for so many times. She would have done anything for him. But she still was a daughter, in need of her mother.
The woman who did not wanted to listen to her when she came back to Willoughby after Vegas and the Tower, together with Monroe. The woman who was not willing to listen to what it did to her, when she was almost raped on that horrible night in that the bar when he had saved her life.
The woman who left her and her family without an explanation when she was still so young. The woman who almost never mentioned her father again, like he had never even existed. Letting him fade away, memories getting lost more and more.
Her mother. Monroe. Philly. Charlie had reached a point where she felt the impossible weight of so many things. Miles missing, Jason gone, Neville somewhere out there. Her whole body went numb slowly. The only thing left was the intense feeling of complete abandonment. The only thing left was a chest full of tears.
She did not know how she got back to their camp, she had just turned around and had started to walk. Putting distance between her and her mother. Putting distance between her and bitter dissapointment and not knowing what to do next. Putting distance between images in her mind of her mother, with Monroe. Putting distance between her and the intense sense of betrayal. The words from her mother and Monroe were echoing around her.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading the start of this story. I love knowing you are there, loving Revolution as much as I do. More soon! Love from Love