‘He’s a total prat,’ said Loki with the glee of someone who had just found ammunition to tease their best friend with for the next few hundred years at least. ‘When do they think he last visited Midgard, fifteen-hundred? When does this come out on DVD?’
Sigyn grabbed a handful of popcorn from a bucket which was mysteriously almost empty despite the movie just having started. ‘Thor doesn’t have a DVD player. It’s still VHS.’
‘So maybe they’re right about him being behind the times.’ They watched in silence for a while and then, ‘Laufey’s King of the Frost Giants?’
‘Maybe they just picked a random name? Shhh, other people are trying to watch.’
Another pause while Loki finished up the popcorn.
‘Oh, I’m his son. They just got my parents muddled up. I’m not a frost giant though.’
‘Don’t you think I’m- he’s overreacting a bit? Okay, it sucks finding out you’ve thought you were the wrong species all your life, but it’s not that bad being a giant. Thor’s half giant-’
‘Not in this movie.’
‘-and Heimdall’s nine-tenths giant.’
‘Probably not in this movie.’
‘That’s racist then.’
‘Writing out all the half-blooded jotuns so it’s all good Aesir against villainous frost giants. I’ve a good mind to complain to the MPAA.’
‘They don’t think you exist.’
‘It’ll give them a good laugh then, won’t it?’
Sigyn shook her head and gave up. As the screen showed a parade of people attempting to dislodge the hammer Loki started snickering. ‘What?’ she asked.
‘All those people tugging Thor’s hammer and they still can’t get it to come.’ Sigyn looked at him and they both dissolved into giggles.
‘Thor probably would believe that, too,’ said Loki a while later, watching his character tell Thor that Odin was dead. ‘Odin told him his mother was dead once and he believed it.’
‘Why say it?’
‘Dunno. Odin was trying to distract him or piss him off or something. Frankly, neither of us would be in the running for favourite son.’
Sigyn bit down the obvious remark; that in some ways Loki was in character here, at least if Thor had been the favourite instead of Baldur.
‘Heh. That’s right, tell a bunch of lies to Thor and then see if you’re worthy to lift the hammer,’ said Loki. ‘Even I’m not that fucking self-centred.’
‘Have you ever tried to lift Thor’s hammer?’
‘Yeah, and I couldn’t. But it’s got nothing to do with being worthy, it’s fucking heavy.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Try and lift it when you get back. See how far you get.’
‘That might just mean I’m not worthy either.’
‘Why wouldn’t you be? You’re nice.’
‘Is that what you think it would take to be worthy? Being nice?’
‘What else?’ Loki looked away from the movie and, even with his eyes hidden behind 3D-glasses, Sigyn could tell he was genuinely puzzled. He doesn’t really understand good and evil, she reminded herself, nice and nasty is as close as it gets.
‘I’m sure at least some of the people trying to lift it were nice,’ she said. ‘It must take more than that.’
Loki shrugged and turned back to the movie.
‘Oh, oh yes. I wish I could do that,’ said Loki, staring at the frost covered Heimdall on screen.
‘Just as well for everyone that you can’t,’ said Sigyn.
‘I get to threaten Thor with animate armour too. At least I get awesome powers in this movie.’
‘I think it’s a bit of a cop out. They could have included something vaguely relevant. Vaguely Norse, even,’ said Sigyn.
Loki actually shut up during the climax, leaning forward to stare at the screen. Sigyn found herself watching him as much as the movie, trying to read his expression and failing. When the credits rolled he stood up and dropped his glasses onto the chair. Sigyn dropped hers into her handbag and followed him as he walked out. His expression said something was about to explode and she just hoped that stayed figurative.
Outside the theatre he stopped abruptly. ‘I think that was a bit melodramatic. The ending.’
‘You certainly wouldn’t shout your motivations at people,’ Sigyn said and he spun on his heel to glare at her.
‘I don’t care what anyone thinks. Not Odin, not Thor, not any of them.’ He turned around again and stalked off with Sigyn following a little way behind. She waited until they were nearly at the tube station to go back to the hotel before she spoke.
‘You know who should have been in that movie? Me.’
‘Wanted to see yourself on the big screen, did you? They’d only have mangled you.’
‘I just thought your character could have used someone to talk to.’
Loki stopped and looked over his shoulder at her, lips twitching into a smile. ‘It would have been a completely different movie.’ He reached back and took her hand, pulling her alongside him, and they walked together into the station.