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When being on the inside looking out is the same as being on the outside looking in.
The thing is, they have it good, the two of them, but Neil's under no illusions. Any he may have harbored when they first started dating had long been shattered; getting John to talk about stuff during his waking hours may be like getting blood out of a stone – with a dull spoon – but he talks enough in his sleep for Neil to know that his tales of years in Antarctica are as much a lie as that Rodney is his close friend, nothing more.
I love stories like this, the ones that take the original characters and refract an universe through them so that we see it broken apart in a totally new way; John is such an asshole and it is so understandable and understated and ♥