You know he's looking. He's always looking for you. Maybe not to destroy you, of course, because even as much as he hates you, he's not that foolish. But he still wants to try and find a way to get the upper hand. Even before you both became exiles, playing your part in the cosmic game, he loathed you with everything he was, and you delighted in seeing him squirm.
Not much has changed, really. He leads his Crew, you quietly work behind the scenes with the Felt. Taking orders from Lord English, collaborating with Doc Scratch, and devising your own plans. Whatever it takes to see him keep raging. Wanting something that could never be, and only really ever angry at himself about it.
He could have been your Sinister Sovereign, but instead he chose to be a coward. He still had a chance to be a paramour, a lover, but he still feared your husband's wrath. And even now, despite his supposed bravery in leading a gang, he's too wrapped up in his own self-loathing, masquerading as hatred for you, to do anything more.
You'll never be able to forgive him for that. And so, for as long as he keeps resisting himself, you torment him. Remind him of what could have been, but never was. All because it was his fault. His fault for being too much of a coward to step up and claim what should have been his.
Maybe one day, he'll overcome his cowardice and actually work up the courage to kill you. When he does, you'll be waiting for him.