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Never the Hero

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TG: im not john remember
GC: 1 4M NOT FOLLOW1NG
TG: im not a hero

You were never the one in control. Surrender wasn't the only option, he trained you, guided you, cultured within you the ability to stand up and take hold of any situation. Surrender, however, was the comfortable option. Surrender, to he who was wiser, older, more powerful than you.

He gave you the tools to protect yourself. Furious fists for those who seeked to cause you harm. Serious shades to gaurd one more reason they could mock you. Concrete constitution to protect your fragile child's heart.

It was your fault. He taught you how to say no. Practically begged for you to save yourself. You didn't. Never even tried. Which must mean that all along, you wanted it.
Hungered for it.

Ravenous for hands rough from triple shifts at odd jobs. Thirsty for saliva from a tongue well-acquainted with other partners. Full of soul-pulling desire for a lithe but muscled frame, so much stronger than your wiry, tiny, weak body.

He was talented. The first time was full of experimentation. Thereafter, he knew every tender button, every trigger that drove you wild. Of course, he did it for you. He cared for you, provided for you, pleasured you... maybe even loved you. Because that's how people who love treat one another, right?

It was only after you met John that you started to think otherwise.

Only after you met John did you realize your cool is fake. That whatever you may say, John is the real coolkid, because he loves what he loves and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. You cover your eyes with shades out of fear, and slink away from any and all social obligation. John sports buck teeth, too-high socks, and tucks his tee into shorts, but presents himself proudly to all the world. While nervous, and with a tendency to second guess his decisions, John's can-do attitude and radiant personality always won out in the end.

So no, you are not a hero. You are a sham of a person, a hash of cliches shrouded in bullshit "irony". You are fit to be a goodguy, but only as a sidekick.

Heroes are righteous. Heroes are pure. Heroes are real.

And you are just a sick, tainted, fake child who loved it when his brother fucked him.

TG: im not a hero
TG: my bro was
TG: john is
TG: im not
GC: Y3S YOU 4R3!
TG: no