Contrary to popular belief, Reborn had once believed that Lambo might have been the more suitable one between them to top in the relationship, on merit of the Vongola Thunder Guardian’s admirable size and boundless amount of energy. There was also the fact that there was a certain amount of beautiful poetic irony in allowing Lambo to ‘top’ him in at least one arena among the many that Lambo appeared to harbor a one-sided rivalry with him in. He had the misfortune of disproving that notion even before anything actually took place.
“This,” Reborn said to him with utmost gravity, “is lubricant. And this is a condom. Are you following me so far?”
“Lambo is following you!”
In more ways than one. Reborn coughed in a fashion more suited to the adult that he was and not the fifteen-year-old than he currently appeared to be, and returned to the items on the desk. “I am sure you remember the sort of motions we go through when I top you,” he said. From the way he was speaking, one would think that he was talking about the weather. “You need an erection before you can even consider entering anybody, and when you do so, it isn’t just a matter of Tab A to Slot B. You have to be—”
“Lambo has a question!”
“What is it now?”
“What do you mean by Tab A to Slot B?”
“…It’s a figure of speech.”
“Um! I don’t get it.”
Reborn’s hand twitched over the gun holstered at his side. He ran through the first chapter of the Vongola Family History (he had all nine tomes memorized) in his head before opting to speak again, to ensure that he did not attempt to shoot the puffy-haired idiot in front of him. “Now,” he said, once he was sure that all murderous instincts were properly reigned in. “Once we’ve assumed positions, I will leave you in charge of loosening my asshole with your fingers.”
“But Lambo wishes to stick it in!”
“And you will get to stick it in, but these things must be done carefully, with all the necessary precautions.”
“…But Lambo really, really wishes to stick it in!”
Reborn stared. Lambo pouted. Fifteen seconds later, Reborn picked the other boy up by the collar, tossed him into bed and showed him how it ought to be done.