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Never Mine

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He took from me my brother, and then her, but I find I can't hate him anymore even so. One was an accident. The other-- even I can't blame a man for stealing something that was never mine.

What she and I have is entirely Peacekeeper. Shared danger creates tension, which needs release for optimum fighting efficiency. Nothing more.

Father loved Mother.

I loved my brother.

She loved him.

She will never love me.

Unlike most trained to the Peacekeepers, I know what I'm missing. But I see what losing him, twice, did to her; remember what losing Tauvo did to me. If she loved me, I'd fall, and then if she died?... Madness. Better this way.

So I tell myself.

I can't hate him. But I wonder if I'd have switched lives with him, to have had her love, if only briefly.

Madness, yes. Perhaps they have it right, not to let us love.