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meet me on the equinox

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harry sipped his jelly baby, green eyes checking out the scene. the club was a swirl of colours, lights bouncing off the mirror balls with too many people packed inside, dancing on poles in the middle of the floor. the music was loud and rattled his chest cavity just right to make him feel alive

his eyes caught sight of a curvy, short guy with caramel hair standing at the bar, drink in hand and if harry was a betting man, he would bet that he hadn’t bought a single drink all night. he had a pretty face, one harry hadn’t got acquainted with, but tonight that would change.

he saw the guy finish off his cosmopolitan, he could see a tattoo wrapped around his wrist when he pointed to the loo and that was harry’s cue.

harry drained his drink, kissed cara on the cheek before announcing he was going to the loo. the toilets were in the far back, a burnt out sign above the entrance, arrows pointing to boys on the left and girls on the right. harry followed the guy in and he couldn’t be that much older than himself. the club lights, an array of pinks and yellows, danced across his features at the right angle, making his cheekbones the highlight; sharp enough to cut a diamond.

the guy went straight to the urinals, harry moved up behind him like a ghost causing the guy to dribble on the floor. “oops.” he gave a giggle, it echoing off the walls.

“hi.” the guy answered in return as he stuffed himself back into his tight jeans, harry leaned against the cold cement wall by the sink as the guy washed his hands, with his eyes the size of cherry pies, no doubt from the uppers, his mouth bubble gum pink.

harry began rattling off prices with the corresponding service, the price going down every second the guy didn’t respond as he caught on.”wait, you’re a prostitute?”

harry pulled his lip between his teeth, gave a curt nod.”yeah.” he looked around the bathroom with shifty eyes.”you’re here and alone, right? i just thought maybe you would be interested?”

“you’ve been watching me?”

harry said nothing as he noticed how blue in the fluorescent lights the guy’s eyes were. ”i’ll even go raw for you.”

“i’m louis.”

harry smiled big enough that his dimples indented into his cheeks.”harry.” he grabbed louis’ damp hand.”c’mon, i know a place down the street.”


the hotel was just off of queensborough terence, its exterior was weather worn and a few of the windows were boarded up. it smelled like stale body odour and piss and probably a mixture of other bodily fluids. harry grabbed a key from the man behind the desk before leading louis to a room.

the bedspread was stained with several burn holes. the wallpaper was peeling in corners with water damage. harry turned to louis, shucked off his shirt. an aeroplane pendant hung between his collarbones.”so, uh, there are no rules. i’ll agree to do whatever but-”

“are you even legal?”

harry nodded.”yeah. ‘m nineteen.”

louis seemed to think a minute before spanning his hand across harry’s chest, plucking the thin, silver chain between his fingers.”i don’t do raw.”

harry produced a condom from his back pocket, louis took it and tossed it on the bed before sitting on the squeaky mattress, pulling his shirt over his head. harry was quick on his knees between louis’ legs, his fingers undoing louis’ jeans, pulling out his semi-hard cock which was thick and uncut and harry wasted no time in taking him into his mouth, his hand held firmly at the base as he swirled his tongue around the head, dipping into the slit, gathering the blurb of stringy pre-come.

louis’ hand found its way into harry’s curly hair, giving a gentle tug and harry pulled off with a pop, wiping at the spit on his mouth and chin. louis held up the foil packet, looking at harry with a raise of his eyebrows. harry ripped the packet open and rolled the latex over louis’ cock.

“do you need-”

”no, i’m good.” harry shook his head as he stood up and stepped out of his jeans before lying on the bed.”how do you want me?”

louis jerked his cock through his fist a few times.”whichever way works for you.”

harry scooted upwards, louis grabbed a hold of his calves, running his hand up his thigh before guiding his cock to harry’s rim. harry could feel the head of louis’ cock pressing into him, his hole fluttering against the intrusion. his fingers gripped the bedspread as he threw his head back, his fattened cock lying forgotten against his belly, and louis stilled, getting comfortable before moving.

and then it was nothing but the sound of the mattress making an awful squeaking noise and the bed hitting the cheap wall. surprisingly without any plaster falling.

louis was so beautiful above him, the tanned column of his throat exposed and harry wanted to sink his teeth into his pulse point, wanted everyone to know he could. louis’ hair was no longer in a quiff, falling across his forehead in feathery layers. harry wanted to run his fingers through his hair and maybe even smell what shampoo he used.

harry could feel sweat plastering his hair to the back of his neck, his toes curling and he could feel his orgasm budding, the white heat touching all his nerve endings before the euphoria hit and he was coming untouched between louis and himself. he screwed his eyes shut, arched his back as the last droplets rolled down his spent cock.

he opened his eyes, met louis’ and could feel the flush on his face.”fuck. i’m sorry. jesus. i’m really-”

louis smiled down at him, ran his fingers through harry’s sweat-damp hair.”it’s really alright.” he pulled out of harry, tied off the condom and pulled his jeans up, smearing harry’s come into his skin.

harry quickly tugged the black vest top on over his head before walking out with louis. harry rocked on his heels on the kerb as louis unlocked his jeep.

“can i see you again?”

harry leaned forward and pressed his mouth to louis’.”if you can find me.”


harry rocked his body against luke hemmings, he was years younger than harry but reminded him a lot of himself, being young and impressionable and eager for the money that came with the job. luke nosed at the skin of harry’s neck and harry held tightly onto his thin tee shirt, he was rolling on ecstasy to the max.

harry’s eyes roamed the vast crowd, a few faces stuck out. he spotted matty doing bumps off the fingers of a bloke called george which surprised harry that matty was even here, his usual spot was down in soho, but then his eyes caught sight of louis just as louis’ eyes landed on him.

harry saw a another man beside louis, his black hair styled in an immaculate quiff with cheekbones that rivaled louis’ own. louis leaned back, his lips moving in words that harry couldn’t make out, the black haired guy’s eyes landing on him and harry felt like he was on show and whether the guy knew he was a hooker or not, harry wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

harry grabbed the arm of another person dancing behind him, he pawned luke into their arms before heading over to louis with a smile.”surprised to see you here.” he leaned in louis so he could hear him over the music, louis grabbed his upper arm and pointed to the other guy.

“my mate, zayn.” and louis must have seen the flare in harry’s eyes because louis shook his head.”he told me about this place. it’s why i came the first time.” he gave harry’s arm a squeeze. zayn clapped louis on the shoulder.

“i’m going for a drink. you want?”

louis shook his head, still looking at harry.”go ahead.”

harry gripped at louis’ arm at the crook of his elbow.”you wanna go to the loo?”

louis looked to the bar, saw zayn flirting with some pretty girl with dipped dyed pink hair and dark lipstick.”yeah, sure.”

harry’s lips stretched into a grin, grabbing louis’ fingers before weaving them through the crowd and into the dimly lit toilet, several people were in there, whether it was making out in the corners or getting even more fucked up on the sink.

harry shoved louis against the cement wall, sunk to his knees as his fingers went to louis’ zip. harry pulled louis’ cock out, bobbing free of his jeans and harry ran his tongue over the underside, feeling out the thick vein before swirling his tongue around the crown before swallowing louis down, his hands skimming up louis’ shirt, grabbing his hip. he glanced up through heavy-hooded eyes, louis looked down at him, his mouth slightly parted and his eyes dark.

louis’ hand gripped at the hinge of harry’s jaw, harry bobbed his head faster, spit-strings seeped from the corners of his mouth.

louis threw his head back, his chest heaved, his hand moved to the back of harry’s head, his fingers tangling in the curls.”oh, fuck. keep going.”

harry sucked louis until he was nearly gagging on his cock and with a low moan of harry’s name rolling off of louis’ lips, harry felt the first spurts of warm come hit his throat and he welcomed every drop.

harry pulled himself up, wiped at his mouth as louis grabbed him by the shirt and kissed him.”let me return the favor.”

harry finished pulling louis’ zip up.”maybe another time.” he pecked louis’ mouth quickly before throwing him a smile, pulling open the bathroom door, letting the heavy music in, before leaving.


when it rained, harry liked to take the bus throughout london and back for no other reason than seeing people with umbrellas and wellies, children stomping in puddles and it reminded him of home and his sister. the air smelled differently with the rain, such a simpler time. almost like he could transpire back to being a gangly fourteen year old lying outside on a trampoline, waiting for autumn to hit. letting leaves rustling in the wind and he could already hear the bonfire crackle.

he got off at brixton, carrying a box of fresh glazed doughnuts, he headed up to his flat, matty looked fresh from a shower, hair pushed back with the ends curled. walked around in a floral shirt, completely open.

matty smoothed harry’s soaked hair back from his face, taking the box from harry’s hands, kissing his forehead.”you alright, darlin’?”

harry nodded as he opened the doughnut box, grabbed one and took a bite. he shrugged as he flopped on the sofa.”do you ever wanna get out?”

matt sunk down next to him, their elbows brushing.”i think more than anything, i want you out. you’re way too good to be doing this shit. you have so much potential, you’re young and you’re out in fucking brixton sharing a one bedroom flat with me.” he tore a chunk of his doughnut off, shoving it into his mouth.”i didn’t think the rain made you all weepy?”

“cheshire was so picturesque when it rained.”

“you wanna talk about it?” matty asked, licking the stickiness from his fingers. harry shook his head as he concentrated on the last bite of his own doughnut.”i have high hopes for you, young grasshopper.”

harry might have smiled into his donut.


harry stumbled out of the club, the summer air was chilly on his warm skin. his throat raw and dry as his mouth tasted like come from one guy or another. he began to walk down the pavement when running footsteps were behind him and then a body was on his back and harry knew right away it was matty.

matty hooked his arm around harry’s neck, pulling the boy close.”fancy a fry up?”

but before harry could answer, headlights came across them, a jeep pulled to the kerb. harry and matty stopping in their tracks and the window rolled down, it was louis. and harry stepped closer to the jeep, leaning into the window.”looking for a date?” he beamed at louis

louis rolled his eyes at the cheesy, cliched line but he couldn’t help but smile at harry.”i’m not into double teaming.” his eyes shot to matty.

harry tsked.”that’s too bad. we work extremely well together.”

matty opened the rear door and climbed in, harry got into the passenger side. matty leaned between the seats and introduced himself.”matty.”

“louis.” louis took his offered hand.”where were you two heading?”


they ended up at some little caff just outside of central london but matty insisted the food was super greasy and cheap. louis insisted on paying and well, harry nor matty were to turn down free food.

after matty polished off his burger, he shook a cigarette from his packet, threw some notes on the table and kissed harry’s head.”it was nice meeting you, louis. thanks for the grub.” he threw a wink to louis before climbing over the booth and out the cafe’s door with a bell chime.

louis sipped at his milkshake.”so, uh-” he started but harry’s foot slipped up into the v of his crotch, harry’s converse grazing his cock lying flat against his thigh.

harry gently applied pressure with the tip of his shoe as he scooted down into the booth.”you wanna go somewhere?”

louis threw money down on the table, enough to cover the bill and tip before grabbing harry’s hand and leading him out to his jeep.


as soon as harry stepped up to the check-in desk, a key was being slid across the fake marble and he looked to louis sheepishly as he grabbed louis’ hand leading him to a room on the second floor.

the room smelled heavily of cheap perfume and air freshener but the room looked a lot nicer than the others they had gotten.
harry pulled his thin top over his head, letting it fall to the floor before he was slipping his hands under louis’ jawline and kissing his mouth softly. louis’ hands slipped around harry’s back, settling on his hips which still carried a layer of baby fat.

harry pulled back, his hands going for louis’ zip and louis shoved his jeans and briefs down his thighs and stepped out of them, his cock already hard as it bobbed against his thigh. harry discarded his own jeans but just as he was sinking down to his knees, louis put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him and harry’s breath caught in his throat as he was afraid louis was going to change his mind but instead, louis pulled him up and spun him around before pressing him down toward the mattress.

harry’s cock twitched as he got the hint and got comfortable on the bed, raising his ass in the air. the mattress dipped, louis spread his hands on the globes of harry’s cheeks, pulling them apart slowly before pressing a kiss to his right cheek and nosing at the cleft of his ass before giving his rim a long lick that had harry squirming forward.

“is this alright?”

harry hung his head for a second, looked over his shoulder at louis and nodded frantically.”yeah. yeah, keep going.”

louis ran his thumb over harry’s hole before diving his face back between his cheeks, running his tongue over harry’s fluttering hole. harry shifted, pressing his forehead onto his forearm, swearing into the sheets with his cock hanging heavy between his thighs.

harry pressed his hips downward, the tip of his cock rubbing against the sheets, louis slurped open-mouth against his hole, his tongue dipping in as he spread harry open. his hand snaking around the outside of harry’s thigh, grabbing his bicep, his thumb pressing into the handshake tattoo.

“c’mon, harry. touch yourself.” louis nipped at harry’s left cheek, harry hesitated, looking at louis with a crease between his brow, this was not how things worked.

louis nudged harry to turn over, pulling him down the bed until his ass was hanging off the edge, pushing harry’s legs up until his knees were at his chest.”go on, touch your cock.”

harry gripped at the back of his own thigh, as his left hand wrapped around his cock, precome already bubbling at the slit, he watched as louis’ head disappeared between his legs, he involuntarily spread his legs even wider as louis’ tongue lapped over his hole, he tossed his head back, working his cock through his fist at a vigorous pace.

“louis.” harry drew out, his chest tight with his back bowed from the bed, louis’ hand skimmed up his belly to his chest, pinching a hard nub between his thumb and index. harry choked out a moan as louis hummed against him, tugging hard at his cock, his balls tightening.

“louis. im gonna. fuck.” harry gasped out, he let go of his thigh, his hand slipping down between his legs, his fingers tangling in louis’ hair, pressing his face into his ass as he pumped his cock until he was spilling all over his belly and chest, coating the swallows on his chest.

he let his legs fall to the mattress, bracketing on each side of louis as he wiped his soiled hand on the sheets as closed his eyes, letting his breathing get back to normal. louis crawled over him, hovering over harry’s face, his nose bumping against harry’s.

he cracked his eyes open, his hand coming up to rest at louis’ hip, his thumb rubbing over the sharp bone.”fuck. you didn’t have to do that.i could-”

louis cut him off with a deep kiss, pulling back and shaking his head.”i wanted too.”

harry nodded, pulling louis down flush against him, could feel his soft cock against his thigh.”did you-” he hand curved over the dip of louis’ back.

“c’mon, i’ll give you a lift.” louis pushed himself off of harry, tossing harry’s top to him. harry stared down at it before louis was shoving money at him. harry shook his head, pulled his top over his head and looked at louis with stood with his hip cocked out, eyebrow quirked.

“i can’t take it. i didn’t do my job.”

louis snorted, moving closer to him.”my cock says otherwise, love.”


louis threw his hands up in surrender and both finished redressing in silence. walking out together and louis nodded toward his jeep.”where you need to go?”

harry pushed his hair from his face, pursed his mouth and shook his head.”i can manage.”

“okay.” louis slid into his car but not before harry was leaning inside.

“can i see your phone?”

louis leaned back, digging into his pocket and handing his phone over to harry’s eager hands and when harry gave it back, louis saw harry had stored his number under the name hooker harry

“for whenever you wanna give me a go.”


harry lied in bed with matty, holding a bag of frozen peas on matty’s face, he winced every so often at the bitter cold numbing his face. his dirty fingers holding a cigarette, already smoked down to the filter.

“such a fucking idiot.” harry scolded, applying too much pressure deliberately but before matty could say anything, harry’s phone chimed. harry sat up and dug his phone from his pocket, it was a text from a number he didn’t know.

if you’re free, i would like to see you

it’s louis btw

matty squinted over harry’s knee.”louis with the nice jeep?”

harry nodded as he closed out of the text and tossed it on the bed. matty swiped up his phone up and replied for him. harry snatched his phone from matty’s hands.

“i would never say that.”

matty shrugged, the phone chimed again and matty pushed harry over.”go on. i can handle my face.”

harry climbed from the bed, tossed the almost thawed peas at matty before firing off another text to louis, directions of where he would be.


harry headed down the street, a petrol station on the corner and he leaned against the wall until he saw louis’ jeep pull to the kerb, he climbed in and louis pulled away.


harry shrugged, picking at a hangnail .”i’ve lived in brixton since i met matty.”

louis hummed as he maneuvered through the streets of central london.”where before that?”

harry ignored the question, twisting in his seat, not dare rehashing the tale of being holed up in fucking ben winston’s attic until he was thrown out on his ass.”you’re not going to the hotel?”

“i thought we could go to mine?”

harry made an O with his mouth but nodded.”yeah. sure.”


louis’ flat was spacious and bright with a small manicured garden out front, complete with a balcony that overlooked regent’s park.

harry let out a low whistle when he stepped inside.

“it’s not much. yet anyway. but i always dreamed of living in the area.” louis shrugged as he followed behind harry.

“not a native londoner?”

louis laughed.”no. doncaster.”

“very own donny soldier.”

“what about yourself?”

“a tiny village in cheshire.” harry moved closer to louis.”you didn’t bring me here to talk about my life.”

“no. i didn’t but that doesn’t mean i don’t wanna know.”

harry worried his bottom lip between his teeth.”you don’t.” he jerked his top over his head, his necklace tangling with the fabric and louis laughed, helping harry untangle himself from the top.

“are you hungry? i was thinking about chinese tonight.”

harry gave a nervous cough, shrugged and louis smiled at him.

“good then.”

harry watched as louis pulled his phone out and made the call for takeaway, harry put his shirt back on.


they sat crowded on the sofa, louis’ feet tucked under harry’s thighs as louis’ hand rested on harry’s ankle, his thumb rubbing over dance again. takeaway boxes were scattered about on the coffee table while mad men played on netflix.

louis leaned up and clicked the tv off with the remote, harry stretched a bit as he rubbed at his eyes.”if you want, now we can-”

louis stood up, grabbing for harry’s hand and harry threw his hand into louis’, letting louis lead him down the hall into his bedroom, a dark navy duvet was half hanging off a queen size bed, some dirty clothes were on the floor. a few photos were on the chest of drawers, family and friends, harry would presume. a man-u flag was hung above the bed.

“ever been to a game?”

“who? united?” louis nodded.”yeah, a few times. but my heart belongs to the rovers.”

“i’ve only been to one game, when i was fourteen. united versus arsenal.”

“and how long ago was that?”

“like five years ago.”

louis hummed.”at the emirates?”

“united beat arsenal. it was my first trip to london with just me and robin. my step-dad.”

“it was a lads weekend. the weekend after my second year of uni.”

“small world. who would have ever guessed that the hooker you pick up just happened to be in the same stadium for the same game years earlier.” harry smiled brightly, his dimples deep in his cheeks. he took his top off, louis moved closer to him, curling a hand around harry’s tiny hip.

“i’m quite sure you picked me up.”


louis pressed upwards, catching harry’s mouth and kissed him so filthy until they were stumbling backwards, harry’s knees buckling once they hit the bed frame.


harry rolled over, expecting to feel another body but instead it was cold sheets, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes before throwing the sheets off, padding down the dim hallway until he saw louis hunched over a desk. he moved behind louis, tangled his arms around his neck and hooking his chin on louis’ shoulder.”what’s all this?”


harry hummed as he moved to the balcony doors, the streets below paved in little lights and he glanced to louis, his desk work lamp shadowed louis just perfectly with his black, plastic frames sat on his nose and a flutter ravaged through harry.”what do you do? for work?”

louis twisted a pencil between his fingers.”advertising executive.”

harry wrinkled his nose a bit.”suit.”

louis laughed and shrugged.”it pays the bills.”

“dream job then?”

louis shuffled some papers before standing up, wrapping his arms around harry’s thin waist.”i always wanted to be an actor or a footballer.” he nosed at the span of skin between harry’s shoulder blades.”what about you?”

harry turned around, grabbing ahold of louis’ wrist and pulling them up and away from his waist.”how about you take me back to bed and fuck me?”


“can i give you a lift?” louis asked the next morning as they stood on the entrance of louis’ block of flats

“i can take the tube.” harry threw his thumb in the direction of baker street station.

“i’m not like. i’m not gonna care where you live, harry.”

louis ended up dropping harry off before work, not even giving him a look about his flat’ building or the neighborhood which harry knew was a far cry from louis’ lavish area and much nicer flat.

harry’s flat was a split level, shared between three other tenants, nestled between two cobblestone terraces in the heart of brixton. all the doors squeaked and the floorboards were loose and the walls paper thin but it was the first thing he and matty could afford together and harry might have been a bit sentimental about it; enough to move anyway.

harry hopped into the shower and was just shampooing his hair when the curtain was jerked back, dripping water all over the cheap linoleum floor. matty stood there, shoveling cocoa pops into his mouth, milk dripping down his chin.

“you went to his house, yeah?”

harry rinsed his hair before shutting the shower off, grabbing the towel from the rack.”he has a balcony.” he reasoned, shaking his wet hair at matty.

“pathetic, you are.” matty threw a soggy chocolate pop at harry.

“he paid me extra. i’ll buy you a churro.”



ordered pizza. wanna come help eat it? x

harry read over the text and in less than a minute typed out a reply.

never turn down pizza xx

emile bleu leaned against the doorway, his neck tattoo moved under the tendons as he stared down at harry, his hand held out and harry quickly put the few hundred in notes into his palm, he counted it out and then pocketed it.”tell that little fuck healy he owes me 50 quid.” he gave harry a once over and harry could feel his skin crawl already.”unless you wanna bend over and settle that for the little shit.”

harry backed down the front steps.”i think i’ll pass, emmy.”

“yeah, yeah, yeah. you won’t be saying that when i raise your rent you slag.”

harry waved him off as he turned the brim of his snapback to the back. his phone went off and he dug into his pocket, seeing a message from louis.

can’t wait xxx


when louis let harry in, his eyes only focused on the litter of bruises along his neck, some darker than others and louis wondered what other marks did harry wear on his skin that wasn’t from him.

they ate pizza on the sofa, their feet propped up on the coffee table, interlooping, and watching great british bake off and after six glasses of wine and a belly full of greasy pepperoni, harry climbed into louis’ lap, his face flushed and eyes shiny and he bent down and kissed louis.

“i didn’t invite you over for anything. i really can’t tonight anyway. i gotta finish up the ad before deadline next week.”

harry swallowed the rejection as he climbed off of louis’ lap but louis was quick to tug at his shirt.”that doesn’t mean i want you to go. stay here. go grab a bath and i’ll come cuddle.”

harry pecked louis’ mouth before going into the master bath, the tub twice as big as his own with nice chrome fixtures and sparkling tiles, not a sight of hard water.

and as harry was undressing, the bruises on his thighs sharp against his milky white skin, an array of colours, louis opened the door and harry saw the look cross on louis’ face.

“jesus. harry. what happened?” he knelt down, his hands grabbing the side of his leg, harry pushed him away before wrapping a towel around his waist. suddenly, shame washed over him.

“i, uh. this one guy likes flogging? he doesn’t know quite how to handle it. but small price for the pay.”

“does this happen often?” louis looked up at harry, already knowing the answer.”you know you don’t have to keep doing this-” louis gestured toward harry’s leg but the bigger meaning went unsaid.”you know i could take care of you.”

“look, louis. i like you but this-” he made a hand gesture in the space between them.”isn’t some pretty woman bullshit. i like what i do. i like the money. i’m not some damsel in distress with selling my arse.” harry abruptly grabbed his clothes and pushed passed louis, almost knocking him backwards.

“harry.” louis was quick on his heels, grabbing his arm before he even got halfway down the hallway.”i just. i’m sorry, alright? it’s not my business who you see or whatever but you’re on my time now so you’ll stay.”

harry hugged his clothes to his chest as he passed louis toward the bathroom, feeling so much like a hooker at louis’ words. he turned back around.”don’t ever look at me like i’m some charity case.” he shut the door and filled the tub with as much water as it could hold.


harry’s hair was still damp and sticking to the back of his neck when louis slid into bed behind him, nosing at his hair and curling a hand around his belly. harry didn’t make a move, lying still as louis pressed open mouthed kisses to harry’s neck and across his shoulder blade.

“i’m sorry about what i said. when we’re together just because i might be paying you doesn’t make you mine or anything. you’re here on your own free will. you’re an equal here.” one of his hands smoothed back harry’s fringe.”i hope if we would have met under other circumstances, you would feel the same about me.” he mumbled against harry’s back before giving harry’s body a squeeze.

harry wished they had met under other circumstances.


harry met matty outside of federation coffee in the brixton village, the union jack flag hung proudly in the entrance and the village was sprawling with chatter, echoing off the high walls as people shopped about, finishing their weekend.

he pushed lukewarm tea and a raspberry scone toward him as his plate had the crumbs from his banana muffin as he sipped his tea. “rough night?”

matty tore apart the scone, shrugging.”some new little shit is working my track.”

“bummer. your monopoly has been jeopardized.” harry’s phone chimed on the table, he grabbed it and read over the new text.

“louis with the nice jeep?”

harry rolled his eyes but nodded anyway.”he’s picking up thai.”

“a bit domesticated.” he sipped his tea obnoxiously.”how is the boyfriend?”

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

“right. you’ve just been fucking the dude for weeks and now he’s waiting at home for you with takeaway.”

“don’t make this into something it’s not. he’s work. he pays me for all of it. and well, might i add.” he stood up, tucking his phone into his pocket.”i’ll see you tonight. don’t forget to close the window. it’s suppose to rain.”

“tell louis with the nice jeep i said hi.”

harry threw up a v.


simon & walsh was in central london, could see the tip of tower bridge as he stepped inside, the cool air hitting him and causing goosepimples to rise on his skin. he grabbed the lift, going up to louis’ floor and when it dinged, he walked down the carpeted corridor, could practically feel everyone’s eyes on him.

he felt underdressed, his plain white tee shirt had tiny holes around the neck, hanging low off his collarbones, peaks of tattoos on display as he saw louis tomlinson on the plaque on the oak door.

he rapped on the door, it swung open and louis stood there in a lilac shirt, deep purple tie loose around his neck and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

harry stepped inside the office, it was much bigger than he expected, the entire outer wall was glass, he pressed his nose against it, fogging a section up with his breath, the height giving him slight vertigo. he stepped back, wiping at the circular breath mark and made a face when it just smeared his hand print.

harry sat on the edge of the desk, louis sitting in his black, leather swirling chair, his e-mail up and also skype. harry saw framed degrees on the bookshelf in the corner behind louis.”how long have you worked here?”

louis leaned back in the leather chair, hummed.”this is my first year as an employee. i spent two summers interning and they didn’t wanna let me go so i stuck around.” he pulled harry’s legs onto the side of his thighs, his hand slipped up harry’s jeans, feeling leg hair under his palm.

harry picked up a picture frame behind himself, seven other faces stared back him, louis in the middle. all girls except one boy. everyone in the photo had the same color shade of eyes as louis. harry had seen some of these faces in pictures from louis’ flat.”big family.”

louis took the frame from harry’s hand, sat it face down.”chaotic, you mean.” louis pulled harry into his lap, folding his legs underneath him.

“i have a sister. gemma.” harry caressed louis’ cheek, feeling the scruff beneath his palm and before louis ask anything, he was licking into louis’ mouth with his hand gripping at the dark purple tie, pulling louis into him more, feeling his hard cock through his gray trousers. he grounded his hips down, eliciting a moan from louis as he nipped at harry’s bottom lip.

“congratulations, by the way.”

louis said nothing before scooping his hands under harry’s jaw and pulling his mouth back to his, harry felt a swish in his stomach, his cock feeling heavy in his jeans as his hands worked on undoing louis’ trousers , louis leaned up just a bit to help pulled them down, his briefs going too. harry jerked his shirt over his head, leaned up on his knees, peeling his jeans off, louis’ mouth found his belly, kissing and sucking at the skin, nosing at the smooth skin.

harry reached in between his legs, palming louis’ cock and giving him a few tugs before he was guiding his cock to his hole.”i prepped myself.” he nodded with a smile as he sunk down slowly onto louis’ cock, feeling the light stretch as his body accommodated louis’ size.

louis’ hand slid up harry’s ribcage, feeling the slots between his fingers as harry began to lightly bounce on louis’ cock with his head thrown back, his hands gripping the back of the chair and his cock gently slapping his belly, precome blurbing from the slit.

louis pulled harry’s face toward his mouth, licking and panting into each others mouths. harry fell forward, chest heaving as he kissed louis’ forehead and then louis’ hand gripped at harry’s hips, rocking his body back and forth until harry was a wrecked mess, his chest and cheeks flushed, his lips red raw and his eyes just tiny little rings of green.”you’re so goddamn gorgeous if only you could see yourself.”

harry mewled, his back arching as his hand rested behind him on louis’ right knee, louis fucking into him.”jerk yourself while i fill your ass up with my come.”

harry didn’t need to be told twice, his hand gripping around his own cock, now a light shade of purple, pumping it through his fist. and with only a few more bounces to louis’ cock, louis was spilling inside of harry’s ass with harry’s name rolling off his tongue through gritted teeth, his eyes squeezing shut.

harry could feel his orgasm bubbling around in his lower belly.”louis.” he panted out, rutting upwards into louis.”fuck. fuck. ‘m coming.” he choked out a moan as come spurted onto his chest, the back of the leather chair just above louis’ shoulder. harry slumped forward, still pumping his cock, the last strings of come rolling over his knuckles.

they kissed lazily, harry’s forehead leaning on louis’ shoulder, eyes shut.

”come get drinks with me tonight.” louis mumbled against harry’s hair.

harry climbed from louis’ lap, grabbed his shirt from the floor pulling it over his head and zipped his jeans, could already feel bruises forming on his skin. “what?”

louis still sat in his chair, his trousers down, his dick soft against his thigh. he nudged harry’s thigh with his shoe.”come with me and have some drinks. it’ll be fun. and i deserve to have you there. i did get my first major ad this morning.”


harry could see matty in the very back on the pinball machine. he gave a small wave to the irish barman called niall before slipping in the back of the pub.”louis asked me to drinks.”

matty sunk the metal ball in the pit before taking a sip of his beer and turning around, leaning against the machine.”date?”

harry’s brows furrowed.”’m not really sure.”

“knock’em dead, princess.”

harry rifled through his clothes, nothing but old tee shirts and ripped jeans hung in his tiny wardrobe . he settled on a plain grey shirt and his black skinnies. black boots finished off the look before matty was standing in the his doorway, stuffing pot noodles into his mouth.

“dashing young lad, you are.”

“too late to cancel, you think?”

matty sat his noodles on their chest of drawers, grabbing a dark red scarf from the wardrobe and tied it through harry’s hair, his fringe off his face.”i think you don’t wanna hurt that poor sod’s feelings. go on, now.”


harry entered bar soho, it was very chic with rich dark walls, victorian style sofas here and there with tiny televisions displayed over the bar. he spotted louis, his face was blotchy, probably from all the drinks he already had. he enveloped harry in a hug, pulling the empty pink-back chair next to his out and harry gave a timid smile as he sat.”this is my, uh, this is harry.” louis introduced him as he reclaimed his seat, his left hand seeking harry’s knee under the table. the only other face harry recognized was zayn’s, he gave harry a friendly smile and harry relaxed into his chair.

conversation went around just as much as the drinks and harry was included as if he was one of them but the guy sitting across from him, was called aiden, his eyes seemed to never leave harry, his polished shoes nudging against harry’s scuffed boots under the table.

harry excused himself to go to the toilet, louis’ face softened as he looked up at harry, harry touched his shoulder with a smile.”i won’t be long.”

harry was flushing the open mouthed urinal when the bathroom door swung open, he expected it to be louis but aiden walked in. harry stood at the sink, washing his hands when aiden spoke.

“just how much is tommo paying you? too much if you ask me.”

harry turned around, leaning against the ceramic sink and aiden took the half step to stand in front him, he reached out and plucked at the fabric of harry’s top. harry’s breath stilled, aiden leaned into him, his nose grazing harry’s ear.

“how much would it cost me for you to get on your knees right here and suck my dick?”

harry’s eyes jerked up, could feel every hair on his body stand on edge, wondered if louis had told everyone at the table. aiden grasped harry’s chin between his fingers.

before aiden could press into harry against the sink anymore, the bathroom door opened and aiden stepped back, dropping his hand from harry’s face. he cleared his throat and clapped louis on the back before squeezing by him.

harry bowed his head as louis’ shoes came into view.

“tortillas are waiting.”

harry could feel the tension in the air, could see the hardness in louis’ blue eyes with his jaw set. harry pushed away from the sink, opened his mouth to say something but louis stopped him.

“food. it’s waiting. c’mon.” louis opened the door, harry stepped out feeling like a scolded child before rejoining the table. tortillas and de pico de gallo sat on the table in front of his chair. smiles and laughter floated around the table as he silently polished off the crisps.


louis pulled up to harry’s flat, a soft golden glow in the windows, he had been silent the entire journey over. harry’s hand lingered on the handle. he shifted on the leather interior, his fingers running over the locks, looking to louis.”nothing happened. nothing would ever happen with him. i wouldn’t do that. not to you”

louis’ hand gripped the wheel, his head downcast and he finally nodded.”i know. i didn’t think anything would have or anything. it’s just. i can’t believe he would though.” his eyes shot to harry, his face softening.”and i’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

“aiden isn’t the first nor will he be the last to make a go at me.”

louis snorted, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel.”that’s reassuring.”

harry placed his hand on louis’ arm before surging forward and closing the space between them, pressing his mouth to louis’.”don’t, alright?” he opened the door and stepped out.”i had a nice time tonight.” he shut the door and headed inside his flat.


a peace offering came the text with six ice cream emojis. and harry fought himself not to reply, shoving his phone down into his pocket before sinking to his knees, the tiles uncomfortable under his boney kneecaps as he pulled down the zip of the guy’s jeans, his dark eyes staring intently down at harry.

harry quickly stuffed his mouth full of cock.


harry didn’t know why he was here, standing at louis’ flat door past midnight. he raised his hand, knuckles rapping on the door and as soon as louis pulled the door open, he pushed louis inside, closed the door with his foot and pressed his mouth to louis’ until he was out of breath.

louis’ hand gripped at harry’s vest top, steadying them both as he pulled back, could see the glassiness of harry’s green eyes, like tiny, shiny emeralds.

“i didn’t hear back from you.”

harry nodded against louis’ neck as he sucked at the column of his throat.”this is me. here right now. for you. me. alright, lou?”

louis tugged harry’s top over his head, pulled him down to his bedroom as they both fumbled to get the other’s clothes off and louis finally pressed harry down into his sheets. harry pawed at louis’ thighs, pulling him closer, wanting to feel him and then the heard of louis’ cock was nudging at his rim.

“did you go to the club tonight? hm?” louis asked, nipping at harry’s adam apple that bobbed under his mouth, giving him his answer.”you came here because none of them can give it to you like i can, is that it?”

harry was panting and writhing beneath him, gripping for any leverage as louis held his legs up, rolled his hips forward over and over, angling just the right way, hitting his prostate.

harry was coming without warning and without being touched, shooting everywhere, hitting the bed frame as louis quickly pulled out without warning, a low moan fell from harry’s mouth for the loss of fullness and louis was straddling his chest, pumping his cock through his fist, harry’s name coming out like a curse as he was coming on harry’s face, come dripping down his cheek and stray droplets landing on his bottom lip.

harry pulled louis down, rolling them over as harry pressed his soiled mouth to louis and louis accept the taste of his own come, his fingers wiping at harry’s face; slipping them past harry’s lips. harry sucked them clean.

louis wrapped them both in his duvet, snuggling close to harry’s back.


“so hey, what are you doing next weekend?” louis asked, both standing naked on his balcony way past two, louis offered the smouldering joint back to harry.

harry brought it to his lips, inhaling until his lungs were full before letting out a tiny cough on the exhale, smoke drifted into the air.”working.”

“anything you can cancel?”

harry’s head lolled to the side, his eyes still with sleep in the corners, his curly hair all over the place, looking at louis.”you know i can’t do that.”

louis snorted.”you’re a hooker.”

harry pushed away from the balcony, a crease between eyes.”yeah. thanks for the observation.”

louis reached out, gently grasping harry’s forearm.”that’s not what i meant. you can cancel and i’ll pay you whatever wages you’re losing. just. my family’s going to spain for holiday, they asked if i could come along. i think you would love spain. swimming in the mediterranean sea. all the kiosks and incredible food.”

harry kept his eyes trained down, where louis held his arm before looking up at louis.”have a good time with your family, louis.” he jerked his arm free from louis before stalking inside, louis calling after him.

“are you really leaving right now? you don’t have to go to fucking barcelona with me. just stay. i’ll drop it.”

harry managed to get his boots on without falling and pushed his hair from his face. he let out a huff, his hands resting at his hips before looking to louis.”i think i need to go anyway.” he spit out before by passing louis and letting the door slam a little bit too hard.


"i think you're the biggest goddamn idiot, h."

harry grabbed for the peach flavoured spliff from matty's fingers, taking a long inhale, closing his eyes and waiting for the fuzziness to cover his head."he wanted me to go on holiday with his family." he had seen on louis’ instagram a photo taken of england from thirty thousand feet last night.

matty ran his fingers through harry's messy hair."oh no, what a terrible idea."

harry shoved matty over, knocking ash onto the sofa."i'm not some-"

"kept boy?" matty quirked his eyebrows in harry's direction."look, maybe he loves you and who are you to turn something like that down? you know it's more than just some trick you've been turning for the last few months."

harry wanted to tell matty that he was wrong but they both knew it would be a lie. harry’s shoulders sagged as he nodded and he brought his hands up to his eyes, feeling the prickles of warm tears and he couldn’t cry over this. this was his job. what he did and he couldn’t let someone like louis tomlinson get in the way of that.

matty took the spliff from harry, petting harry’s hair.”don’t worry, darlin’. matty’s gotcha.”


everything for harry was off kilter, an assembly of colours. his skin was hot and he felt he could claw out of his skin. he was light and air and everything in between the elements. matty’s hands skirted up his neck, gripping just under his jawbone, bringing their lips together in a rough kiss, harry reveled in the kiss, tipping his head back, eyes closed as matty licked into his mouth.

matty’s hands unzipped harry’s jeans, harry pulled back from matty, pushing his jeans down his legs before tugging off his shirt and began to unfasten the trousers of the guy in front of him.

the rest of the night was in kaleidoscope slo-mo.

hands steadying him, marking his skin up, whispering words he couldn’t even understand, sounded all foreign and raspy, nothing like louis.

all wrong.

his nostrils burned, his throat was on fire, his belly queasy as he twisted his fingers into the thousand count bed sheets. he lifted his head, glancing over his shoulder at the man behind him, his face beet red with a receding hairline.

harry’s eyes darted to matty, his hands using the tie as leverage as he rode the guy on the sofa. harry turned his back toward the headboard, bowing his head and closing his eyes.


when harry woke up, his eyelids were so heavy they burned. matty stood over him, tapping at his cheek.”c’mon, princess. check-out’s in twenty.”

harry’s eyes focused as he pulled himself up and he was sure every muscle in his body hurt. he was lying on bank notes, some covered in come and sticking to everything. his mouth tasted stale and furry and he blinked up at matty.

matty threw his clothes at him.”seriously, h. let’s go.”

harry quickly shrugged his clothes on, the clothing itchy on his skin as he scooped up every last note on the bed. and once they were out of the hotel, dirty looks thrown their way.

they grabbed the bus, harry rested his head on matty’s shoulder, felt matty’s fingers twirl around the longest curls at harry’s neck.

harry felt knots in his belly, he could almost taste the bile in his throat and he was unsure if it was because of what he had done or that it wasn’t louis.


harry scrolled through louis’ instagram, he was tanned and curvy next to his siblings, arms tangled around another. selfies with each of his seven siblings, his mum and her husband flooded the feed. the beautiful skyline and all delicious delicacies too.

harry wished he could be a part of that life with louis too.


matty found harry with his hands clenched around the bathroom sink, his chest concaving with each breath. matty ran his knuckles over the knobs of harry’s spine.”where’s your inhaler?” matty asked, opening the medicine cabinet over the sink. he pried harry’s hand from the sink, pressed the plastic puffer into his palm and harry brought it to his lips.”c’mon, darlin’.”

matty spooned harry into the wall, petting his hair and reassuring him that he was alright. he brushed his nose against the back of harry’s neck, ringlets curled around the tip of his nose as he splashed kisses between his shoulder blades.

“i’m alright, i think.” harry finally croaked out, his voice raspy and slurred almost like he was half asleep. matty’s arm settled across his chest, harry’s hand wrapping around his forearm.


“harry. harry. h.” matty poked harry in the ribs, harry rolled over, rubbing at his eyes as he looked to matty.”door.” he crawled back over harry, burrowing in the blankets.

when harry stumbled out from the bedroom, he stopped in his tracks, pushing his fringe from his face as louis was standing in the doorway."when did you get back?" he took note of the top falling off of louis’ frame, it was his threadbare rolling stones band shirt.

"oh. uh, last night. i was gonna call or something but i didn't think you would answer my call or text me back so."

"good time? family alright?"

"is that really what you wanna start this off with?”

harry shrugged, the sun had done louis right. his skin a golden brown, his eyes bluer than harry remembered and days worth of scruff on his jaw and harry wanted nothing more than to feel that burn between his ass cheeks. “i. uh. i haven’t been working. turning tricks or whatever.”

“oh. why not?” louis asked as he followed harry into the kitchen, harry switched the kettle on, turning around and crossing his ankles.

“mary? she lives on the floor below us, she got me part-time stacking shelves at tesco.”

“that’s. that’s really good.”

“i think i owe you an apology? i was a right twat to you about going to spain. and maybe the entire time we’ve been seeing each other.” harry poured them both a cup, no sugar for louis.”it’s just that i’ve never had anyone that i’ve worked treat me like actual equal but you always did and i think maybe i didn’t like that you saw me as person.”

“that makes absolutely no sense, harold.” louis’ mouth turned into a smile as he sipped the warm tea. harry shrugged with a smile playing on his lips too.

“it was all an excuse to push the fact away that i wanted so much more with you.”

louis sat his mug down, took harry’s from his hand, putting it next to his before cupping his face and kissing the fuck out of him and harry reveled in the feel of the warmth of his mouth, his hand shooting back to hold on the side, possibly knocking their mugs over.


harry finished packing up his room, it wasn’t much and it all fit into one box but it had taken him and matty nearly the whole night between pizza and smoke breaks and rounds of fifa.

“who’re you gonna replace me with?”

“that kid ashton, i think. i think he’s staying over at st.matthew’s.”

harry nodded before lunging toward matty, almost knocking the two to the ground.”tell me this isn’t a mistake. tell me i’m making the right choice. tell me. tell me, matty.”

“i think you know that answer yourself, love.” matty held onto harry tighter than ever before, pulled back and gave harry a smile.”so proud of you, bro.”


harry opted to take the tube to louis’, getting off at baker street station with his heart in his throat the entire walk to his new flat building. the door was cracked once he got up to the flat, he could smell something delicious wafting through the air.

louis was standing at the oven when he stepped inside, louis glanced over his shoulder at him.”why don’t you go find places for your stuff. i cleaned out some drawers and wardrobe space for you.”

harry nodded, padded down the hallway and into his new bedroom, the bed was made surprisingly and he pulled open the drawers, and folded his clothing neatly before putting them the drawers, running his fingers over the fabrics, his heart so full that his clothes were next to louis’, mingling in like they belonged.

he grabbed some empty hangers from the wardrobe and added his clothes inside. and tossed his little miscellaneous items and knick knacks on the side table.

he made it back to the kitchen, wrapping his arms around louis’ waist, kissing his temple.”smells really good.”

“it’s chicken stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash. which if you could be so kind to finish up, yeah?”

harry grinned as he moved to the bowl of boiled potatoes on the counter, grabbing the metal masher.”i thought you couldn’t cook?”

louis shrugged. pulling the chicken from the oven.”first experience. thought it would be something nice for your first night home.”


harry added milk and butter to the potatoes and continue working them until they were rich and creamy.”i wouldn’t have mind takeaway.”

louis just smiled, plating the wrapped chicken, oozing with melted mozzarella and giving the plates a nice size dollop of potatoes before pushing a bottle of merlot toward harry.”let’s eat.”


harry was starting the washing up when louis brought the last of the dishes into the kitchen, throwing them into the sink, he turned the water off and harry turned to him but before he could get a word out, louis kissed him, slipping his hands to cup his face, harry could taste the chicken and merlot still on his tongue and it was so intoxicating, breathtaking.

they fucked so languidly, with nervous giggles when harry almost kneed louis in the face. louis kissed harry’s knees, and harry couldn’t believe louis was all his now and that this was his end game.

and in the morning, louis was in the kitchen, dressed for work, making them both tea when harry finally awoke, louis handed him a warm mug and harry took it between his hands, blowing across the top.
“you didn’t need to get up on my account.” louis kissed just below the freckle on harry’s face.“you got a shift today?”

harry nodded, sipping his tea, just made the way he liked it.”at three.” it had been quite an adjustment working at tesco, he often forgot to punch in and out, forgot he was even allowed breaks and the instant money was also different but he liked getting to know his new co-workers and often seeing the same faces in his line. he sat his mug down, leaned on the side and bit at his bottom lip.”i’m from holmes chapel.”

louis nodded, turning to face harry, pressing his palms flat against harry’s chest.”sounds like a lovely place, maybe you can tell me more about it if you want. but like, you don’t have to confess to me anything that you don’t wanna tell me. like it’s not gonna change anything between us if you really don’t want me in on that part of your life.” he pressed his lips against harry’s forehead.”take a nap before work.”


harry and louis texted most of the day, until harry was taking the tube to tesco getting off at the victoria station, clocking in and pulling on his blue uniform fleece. liam payne was at his till, he gave harry a friendly wave, reminding him they would be going on break together.

and on his lunch break, liam sat on the kerb out back smoking a cigarette while harry ate a cheese and pickle sandwich, harry learned that liam was going to uni in the fall and that tesco was just a summer job to save up cash. he asked harry what he was doing after the summer and harry didn't have an answer, stuttered out that he left school after his gcses.

“you can always take your a-levels and get into a great uni.” liam finished up his cigarette while that thought lingered in harry’s head. and before break was over he texted louis.

think i might go back to school

harry pocketed his phone before he got a response and went to finish up his shift.


when harry entered the flat, matty was sprawled out on the sofa, watching a footie match. louis came out of the kitchen with two green bottles in his hands, saw harry and harry pulled louis in by the back of the neck and kissed him.

“oi! you’re making me sick over here.” matty used a throw pillow and hit harry in the leg with it over the back of the sofa, harry pulled back from louis with a light blush to his cheeks.

louis handed matty his beer before sitting on the beanbag, pulling harry into his lap.

“so you really think it’s a good idea?” harry asked, running a finger up louis’ neck, louis nodded as he took a sip from his bottle.

“i think it’s such a great idea but only if it’s something you wanna do.”

“might study law or business or sociology or something.” harry shrugged, smiling as he never thought he would ever do anything aside from the odd job and being a hooker, never had a real reason too either.

matty must have been giving louis a look behind harry because louis spoke. “our young harold here wants to go take his a-levels and go to uni.”

matty looked to harry with a smile, sitting his beer on the coffee table before glomping on him, crowding louis into the beanbag.”knew you were always made for greatness.”

matty left after the match and several beers fuller, harry and louis brushed their teeth side by side in the bathroom, this was truly where harry belonged.