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Add It Up

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Why can't I get just one kiss?
Why can't I get just one kiss?
There may be some things that I wouldn't miss
But I look at your pants and I need a kiss
-Violent Femmes, Add It Up

Darcy can’t say it wasn’t building to this all along. I mean, seriously, what the actual fuck was Nick Fury thinking, pairing her with the God of Mischief and Lies? How did he not see that she was a total sucker for the whole misunderstood bad boy schtick that Loki constantly projected like a homing beacon straight to her highly receptive ladyparts? And she wouldn’t even get into what his armor did to her libido. Darcy had some very well-developed fantasies involving him wearing the helmet that would make even Aphrodite herself blush.

They were total trouble together too. It was like mixing gasoline and dynamite. The constant pranking that was now going on at Shield was quickly becoming the stuff of legend. It started with them changing the main conference room into a massive ball pit just before a meeting, and sort of spiraled out of control from there. In truth, Darcy was surprised that hadn’t both been unceremoniously ejected from the deck of the helicarrier, but so far everyone had seemed more amused than homicidal.

Their current pièce de résistance was turning everything in Nick’s private office pink. Carpet, desk, curtains, all of them looking like a giant cotton candy explosion had gone off. It was mostly Loki, but Darcy bought the pepto colored m&m’s and the candy dish that looked like it possibly came from Dolores Umbridge’s private stash. The My Little Pony emblem on Nick’s eyepatch was her idea as well, but Loki was the one with the magical chops to make it happen. It had Pinkie Pie surrounded by swirly script reading ‘Brony 4 Life’. Nick almost looked pretty with it on. Almost.

Imagine their surprise when Fury’s response was cool indifference followed by a wry smile and him saying, “Haha, motherfuckers. The joke’s on you. Pink’s my favorite color.”

And then he kept his office like that. Seriously. For all Darcy knew, it was still fifty shades of Disney princess up in there. He didn’t keep the eyepatch though. Much to her disappointment.

So really, Darcy was not to blame for the fact that things had gotten this out of control. She’d tried. She really had. But then there was that whole situation a month ago with the not-exactly-lizard people in San Francisco, where she and Loki shared a very intense celebratory hug. Well, whatever. I mean, they’d won, and she had nearly died falling off the Golden Gate Bridge before Loki teleported her back to safety. So, you know. She had to hug him. For five full minutes. With some minor grinding and eye-fucking. Dammit. Stop judging, he smelled really, really good, and she was totally buzzing with adrenaline and relief. Not. Her. Fault.

And then there was the incredible victory kiss last week after they managed to stave off a full-scale killer alien blob attack in Paris. This time she saved him. With the taser, thank you very much. Ever see a sentient blob of jelly laid out flat in front of the Eiffel Tower in a dead faint? It’s a fucking heady thing. Loki was pretty grateful. So he may have sort of kissed her. And she may have sort of let him. And possibly, possibly, there was a bit more tongue than is strictly necessary in a ‘Hey, you saved my life, thanks for that’ kiss, but whatever. It was Paris. French kissing at the top of the Eiffel Tower was practically law there. Besides, she didn’t see anyone complaining.

Ok, Tony made a comment. Two comments. Fine, three. Three comments, mostly of the ‘Get a room’ variety. However, it was Tony Stark, so that was kind of to be expected. It would have been weird if he hadn’t.

Incidentally, no one was more impressed by the pink office stunt than Tony. He was also profoundly offended that they hadn’t included him. They literally had to promise that if they ever decided to prank Fury again, Stark would be in on it, or he would put a very incriminating iPhone video of the victory kiss with tongue up as the official Shield screensaver.

So, to add it up, one hug, one kiss… Had she mentioned what an amazing tongue Loki has? Like really, sinfully, Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down amazing. No wonder they put a muzzle on him that one time. Darcy was just surprised the Asgardian women didn’t riot over the fact that it was locked up.

Anyway…where was she? Oh yeah, the hug, the kiss, and more than a little highly inappropriate and extremely suggestive flirting had sort of brought them to a point where things were either going to boil over, or she was going to need to find a new partner before her frilly bits caught fire from the lusting.

The breaking point came in the form of yet another invasion in New York. Could Darcy just take a minute to point out that ever since the Chitauri, most of the galaxy was apparently dying to take over New York? Literally dying, because not a single group had managed it yet. Everyone at Shield seemed to think it was because New York was so populated and vital, but Darcy suspected it was actually because you could get sushi delivered at 2am. Who wouldn’t try to take over the biggest city on the Eastern seaboard for that? It was awesome.

In fact, it was so awesome that after they’d defeated the latest threat, she and Loki had decided to order some to celebrate. And yes, okay, he’d suggested they eat it in his apartment and she’d agreed, but that was mostly because she was dying to see what his place was like, and it was much closer to where they were than her tiny place in Brooklyn...and...shut up.

So they’d ridden the elevator up to his insanely-posh-in-an-extremely-modern-way apartment while she buzzed and fizzed with nervous excitement. He’d immediately done that cool trick where he trades his dirt smudges and battle-stained armor for clean skin and clothes with a flick of his fingers. Darcy, however, had zero convenient clothes changing magic at her command. Plus she was totally filthy. So she did what any completely insane girl would do at that point. She asked the God of Mischief and Lies if she could use his shower.

He said yes. In fact, he said it pretty damn quickly, with this licentious perusal of her person that made her wonder if he had x-ray vision. An annoyingly prudish part of her pointed out that she should have minded that, and she told that annoyingly prudish part of her to shut the hell up.

The end result of this was that she was currently in Loki’s bathroom, stripping off her gross Shield issue black fatigues, when she noticed the iPod dock sitting on the granite vanity. Oh hells yeah. Darcy plucked her iPod out of one of the lower pockets in her cargo pants and slid it into the dock, scrolling quickly through until she found just the playlist she wanted. Then she kicked off the rest of her clothes, turned on the water, and stepped inside.

The shower stall was all travertine tile with more jets than she’d ever seen, and a massive drenching showerhead. Darcy was totally going to have a little conversation with Nick on Monday about feminism, and how if she were going to be killing baddies alongside an ex-supervillain Asgardian Princeling then she sure as hell should be getting the same perks he was. If he got an apartment in Stark Tower, then she wanted one too. And it had better have twice as many jets in the shower as Loki’s. Goddammit, she’d earned that, babysitting his quasi-reformed ass the way she had the past few months. No one even knew the trouble she’d kept him out of.

For instance, just last week she’d convinced him to not to turn that guy who’d cut them off in traffic into a toad. Well...okay, that might be a teensy, tiny fib. She had let him turn the guy into a toad, but only for like, twenty minutes, half an hour, tops. Frankly, they were probably doing the world a service by curbing his tendency to be an rampant asshat on the road. The dude was totally apologetic once Loki had de-amphibianized him. In Darcy’s eyes that was an all around win/win for everyone.

She was still giggling over the memory when the strains of the Violent Femmes’ Add It Up washed over her like a high energy bolt of awesome. Darcy just couldn’t help it, she started singing. And maybe…maybe dancing. Just a little. The shower stall was just so damn big, it would have been a crime not to take advantage of all that space.

So there Darcy was, singing, and you know…dancing...when she was suddenly confronted with a tall, green and black silhouette standing on the other side of the fogged up glass partition. She took her hand and swiped it across the glass at eye level and there was Loki, staring at her with one elegant eyebrow arched.

Now, as she saw it, Darcy had two options. Option number one: freak out. Tell him to get the hell out of the bathroom and go back to rinsing the mint-scented bodywash off her highly naked skin. Or, and this seemed ever so much more fun, option number two: act like it was no big deal and keep up her sudsy song and dance routine.

Just then the playlist switched into the next song, and Kiss Off started blaring over the speakers.
The thing was, Darcy really loved this playlist, like, a lot. And it wasn’t her fault if she was shamelessly enjoying it in his huge, gorgeous shower when Loki walked in like he owned the place. Which, technically, he did. See? She was totally absolved from guilt over this. The circumstances were extenuating to say the least.

Decision made, Darcy peered out through the tiny clear space she’d made with her hand and grinned wickedly at Loki. Then she went right back to what she was doing before he walked in. There was a pause, a beat where he stood there unmoving, just staring coolly at her through the little clear patch of glass. Then she watched in exhilaration as his face disappeared and the Loki-shaped mass rapidly flowed towards the end of the partition separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom.

Seconds later a decidedly more in-focus Loki appeared in the open threshold, and he leaned back against the travertine wall smirking sexily at her. “Is impromptu bathroom cabaret something you indulge in often?”

“Is walking in on your guests while they’re showering something you indulge in often?” she countered, refusing the urge to cover anything up and brazenly putting her hand on her hip instead.

He gave a small nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. “As you are my first guest, then I must assume the answer is yes. However…” Loki’s eyes traveled over her from head to toe and his gaze turned heated. “...I suspect for a conclusive result, it would require more testing. It is possible that you are the only guest who piques my interest in this manner.”

Darcy cast an impish glance at where his arousal was becoming clearly evident under his leather pants. “Oh yeah? Looks like your interest isn’t the only thing that’s piqued.”

“Indeed,” he replied, smirk deepening.

“So,” she said, knowing that she was about to change all the rules forever, “were you planning on using that, or just standing there like some fucking creeper while I condition my hair?”

His reaction was breathtaking in its immediacy. Almost faster than she could follow, he stepped towards her, clothes shimmering away into nothing. By the time he reached her, he was completely nude and completely aroused, and she was pretty sure her brain short-circuited entirely when she saw how ridiculously well-endowed he was.

“Jesus,” she whispered.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Hardly. Although I’ll take it as a compliment that you cannot even manage the correct deity at the moment.”

Darcy dragged her eyes upwards to give him a sly smile. “If I’d known what was under your armor, I’d have been praying to you all along. Trust me. In fact, I think I just became a convert.”

Chuckling, Loki began backing her up against the wall, his chest pressed against hers and his cock brushing the skin just above her hip with every step. She felt the cool tile behind her shoulders in sharp contrast with the heat of the man in front of her. Which was...well...actually it was sort of unusual. Loki generally ran a bit cold. She just assumed it was due to his Frost Giant heritage and didn’t ask questions because it was clear he was a little reticent to discuss that aspect of his life.

She’d only seen his frosty side once. Shield ran across some Jötunn relic hidden in the basement of old military bunker and they called in Loki to retrieve it because he was the only one who could touch the damn thing without getting life-threatening frostbite. Since she was his partner, Darcy was alone with him in bunker when he located and removed it. The moment he touched it, his skin tone rapidly changed from his normal pallor to an icy blue.

The color started at his fingertips and washed upwards until it covered his whole body. Weeeell, she could only assume it covered everything. He was wearing his full armor at the time. For all she knew, while he was in his Jötunn form he was striped like an electric blue zebra, and only the parts she could see were solid cerulean.

Anyway, the point of the whole thing was that the man currently eye-fucking her was warm. Really warm. The sort of warm you associated with the term hot-blooded. And it wasn’t that she didn’t like it, because any naked Loki was good naked Loki, but she was starting to wonder if he was doing the hot-blooded thing for her. And if he was, wasn’t necessary. If Darcy was being completely honest, the whole temperature thing was sort of a turn-on. She wasn’t going to say that she’d gotten off to the thought of his cold tongue doing things to a very not-cold bit of her anatomy but...yeah, ok, she totally had. So sue her.

“Um, Loki…” she began, struggling to keep her train of thought as his breath wafted hotly over her lips.


His hands began drifting down the sides of her body, and she realized that she had about three seconds left before they started touching places that would rob her coherent thought. It took all the willpower she had, but she forced herself put both palms flat on his shoulders and push him back enough to put some space between them.

The look of absolute confusion on his face almost made her laugh. “What? Did I do something wrong?” Then his expression went from confused to guarded. “Do not tell me you have suddenly changed your mind.”

“Oh, oh no. Nothing like that. Really. I’m totally on board with this. Trust me. But, um…” She paused, trying to think of a good way to broach the subject.

Ask, Darcy. I too am on board. In fact, I would very much like to get back on board,” he declared impatiently.

“Right. Yeah, me too. It’s just...your skin.... Isn’t it usually colder?”

An emotion flickered across his face so quickly she couldn’t quite place it. “I thought perhaps you would appreciate it if my body felt closer to that of a Midgardian. Do you not like it? ”

“Yeah, I get that, and it’s sweet…” He scowled at her choice of words. “...but it’s really sort of not necessary. I mean, if we’re gonna do this, I kinda want the full Loki experience...if you catch my drift.”

He was still giving her that curious look which she couldn’t quite define, but he stepped forward so they were flush again, she could feel his body gradually cooling where his skin touched hers.

“Better?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“Mmmm, yes. So much yes,” she replied, squirming against him and making him chuckle.

“Was there anything else you needed, or may I continue pleasuring your person now?”

Pleasuring her person? Yeah, her knees almost went out from under her. “Nope, I’m good.”

“I suspect you will need to find a better adjective in just a few moments.”

“Lucky for you, I’ve got an extensive vocabulary.”

I look forward to hearing it,” he said, expression totally filthy.

“Did you just come in here to talk? Because we could have done that in the living room. I mean, I could get dried off, and…” Darcy acted like she was going to duck under his arm and he promptly caught both her wrists in his hands and pulled them up over her head.

“I came in here to fuck you, Darcy. But I think you know that.” He punctuated his statement with a slow grind of his hips against hers that sent heat rushing to pool low in her abdomen.

“Then shut up and fuck me, Loki,” she countered, “because I’ve been wanting this for weeks.”

At her words, he practically attacked her mouth, tongue sliding between her lips and thrusting along hers. She kissed him back enthusiastically, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth so she could suck on it. He moaned, eyes snapping open, and she had a moment where they gazed straight into hers, pupils fully dilated, before his head ducked down so he could press open-mouthed kisses over the line of her jaw and neck.

Loki worked his way over her shoulder and down her chest, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting slightly so that her back curved enough to give him better access to her breasts. The first time he took her nipple in his cool mouth she gasped. He glanced wickedly up at her and nipped it lightly with his teeth before laving it with his tongue. Then he switched sides, tracing over her nipple with his tongue before blowing on it, sending a shiver all over body.

While he continued his gorgeous torture on her breasts, she writhed against the wall trying to create a little more friction lower down. Seeming to guess what she needed, Loki trailed his hand up the inside of her thigh, fingers circling nearer and nearer until they grazed over her centre. Darcy made a half-choked groan as he slid those talented fingers straight into her slick folds, alternately dipping inside her entrance and rubbing over her clit.

“God, Loki!” she gasped out, hips rocking helplessly against his hand.

He looked up at her, smirked devilishly and promptly removed his fingers. She had just begun to protest, when he dropped to his knees before her and deftly lifted her thigh up onto his shoulder.
Darcy gulped, balancing precariously on one foot and staring down into his burning green eyes.

“Don’t drop me.”

Loki brought his hands up to cup her firmly cup her bottom. “I was thinking more along the lines of making you scream my name actually. Unless you have any objections?”

“Nope,” she replied so quickly it made him laugh.

“Well then…” And he leaned forward, placing an open-mouthed kiss over her clit, eyes fixed on hers the entire time.

Darcy drew in a shaky breath and leaned her head back against the wall. “You’re making a good start,” she said, and could feel Loki’s answering smile against her skin.

Within seconds, she realized all her fantasies about his cool tongue over her hot flesh fell far short of the reality. She found herself arching into his mouth, fingers scrabbling for purchase on the travertine tiles behind her while he very slowly and deliberately teased her to the point of begging.


He glanced up at her and lazily stroked over her clit with his tongue. “Please what?”

She shuddered in his hands. “You know what I want. Stop being such a tease.”

“And you know what I want. Say it.” He slid one hand forward and slipped the tip of a finger just inside her, moving it in and out with measured precision.

“Loki,” she all but whispered.

“Louder.” The finger was joined by a second.

“Loki,” Darcy said, with a bit more volume.

“I said louder.” He curled his fingers, stroking her inner walls and making her grind down on his hand as he lapped against her clit again.

“Fuck! Loki! Loki, please!!!” she cried out, burying her hands in his hair and fighting to pull him closer.

“Mmm, that’s what I wanted to hear.” Then he dove for her, tongue and fingers moving in sync as he relentlessly pushed her towards orgasm.

Ok, so this is what all that Silvertongue stuff was about, Darcy thought as he closed his lips around her clit and roughly sucked. She bucked against his mouth, fingers still wrapped in the silky strands of his hair, as she felt spiraling heat of her climax winding tighter and tighter inside her. Oh God, any second now… Any fucking second and…

Loki was right. She totally screamed his name. With absolute abandon. Like, twenty times. In fact, it was possible that Tony could hear her all the way up in his soundproofed penthouse apartment. Had Loki not been holding her up, she would have been on the floor, because her legs were shaking so hard that she was pretty sure all the bones had dissolved.

It went on for-fucking-ever too. Wave after wave of orgasmic bliss, cresting over her, and only building higher each time. It was then that she realized, for the first time in her life, she was have multiple orgasms and what a truly fantastic thing that was. She was totally renaming him the God of Oral and Orgasms, like...immediately.

Finally he coaxed her back down, tongue and fingers slowing to a stop, and then he grinned up at her like the smug bastard he was. Oh well. He’d certainly earned it. I mean, you can’t fault a guy for knowing when he’s absolutely stellar at something. Seriously, if they ever muzzled him again, Darcy was going to bring about Ragnarok herself.

Besides, despite the smug smile it was pretty clear Loki was totally affected right now. He stood up, pupils so dark they’d practically swallowed every centimeter of his normally green eyes, and hitched her legs around his hips with lightening speed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lowered her head to kiss him, tasting herself on his tongue as he enthusiastically responded.

Loki reached down between them, and ran his cock through the wetness at the junction of her thighs. She was just about to sink down on him when the doorbell rang. They both froze, then Loki dropped his head down onto her shoulder and rocked it back and forth in annoyed denial.

“Fuck,” she succinctly proclaimed.

“No,” he replied firmly. “Or rather, yes. One moment.”

And, to her great relief, he promptly conjured up a double and sent it answer the door.

“Best trick ever,” she said, and he gave her a slow-blooming smile that sent glorious tingles shivering out all across her skin. Hot damn the man was beautiful. Even more so when he was naked and unguarded in her arms. Darcy resolved then and there to do everything she could to bring about that smile every single day going forward.

She rocked a little against him, gasping as the tip of his cock slid over her clit and then back down to her entrance. He locked eyes with her and she watched his face as he finally pushed inside her, going slow to give her body time to adjust. At the last moment he closed his eyes, lips parted a tiny bit, and she was struck by the near innocence of his expression. Then his lashes flickered open again, and he began to move.

In seconds, her entire world focused down on the thick slide of him inside her, the concentrated, unhurried thrusting already causing the tense coil of arousal to build in her again.

“You’re ridiculously good that this. You know that right?”

He smiled at her, look of concentration slipping onto one of affectionate amusement. “I might have been told that once or twice.”

“Fucker,” she said, and swatted his shoulder.

Loki retaliated by increasing his pace, pulling her hips down hard against him with each upward thrust. Darcy raked her nails down his back, and he hissed in pleasure. Just the sound of it caused twinges of heat to start low in her belly.

“Loki, please...I’m so close. So…so close.”

“How close, Darcy? Tell me what you need,” he gasped urgently, as his thrusts became more erratic.

She placed her palms flat on his shoulders and used them for leverage to tip her pelvis towards his. “Just...I just need…”

He slid his hands around her lower back and tipped her even further, each stroke causing him to grind against her clit.

Darcy gasped and cried out. “FUCK, yes! Just like that. Don’t stop, don’t, stop, don’t stop...”

Loki thrust up, once, twice more and she was shattering in his arms, muscles spasming wildly around his cock. He groaned as the sensation triggered his own release. Darcy felt him manage a few more frantic thrusts before his body went taut and then began to shudder. He lifted his head, eyes seeking hers as he spilled himself out inside her.

Afterwards, she clung to him, waiting for the aftershocks and her pounding heart to slow. His body still held her pinned to the wall, and the water pelted down on them, dripping off their skin in rivulets to the floor. Loki’s head was resting against her neck and she could feel the alternating warm and cold of his breath on her collar bone.

Darcy shifted, attempting to unwind her trembling legs from around his waist. “That was really, really...”

“Yes. It was.” He lifted her slightly, withdrawing from her body, so she could stand.

“Ouch.” She winced, and gingerly stretched up on her toes. “I’m not gonna be able to walk tomorrow, am I?”

He didn’t even attempt to hide his self-satisfied smirk. “I wouldn’t let that worry you, since I have no intention of letting you out of my bed for the foreseeable future.”

With that, he strolled out of the shower, jeans and a fitted t-shirt shimmering into place over his frame as he walked away. She stared after him, wide-eyed. Well, that answered her question over whether or not this was a one-time thing. Darcy found herself fighting down the urge to dance around and squee like a thirteen year old girl.

That was until she stepped out of the shower and realized all her clothes were missing. And her taser. She was going to kill him. Slowly. Without mercy.

“Oh, by the way, Darcy, as your clothes were less than pristine, I’ve left something for you to wear on the vanity.” His voice wafted in to her from somewhere in the living room.

Okay. So maybe she wouldn’t kill him. Yet. A quick search of the vanity turned up one light green oxford shirt and nothing else. No, he was pretty much dead.

She quickly dried off and pulled on the shirt, rolling the overlong sleeves up midway to her elbows. All thoughts of killing him over it died the minute she stepped into the living room and saw the raw desire and satisfaction on Loki's face.

He swallowed hard, gaze making a slow circuit of her body. “It suits you.”

Darcy made her way over to the couch, sliding straight into his lap and pinching a bit of the oxford between her thumb and forefinger. “Your shirt, hm? Possessive much, Loki?”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “You have no idea.”

“Oh, I think I could probably guess. So, where’s the food?”

All it took was a single flick of his fingers at the coffee table and it was promptly set with their takeout plus chopsticks, cups and a little ceramic pitcher full of sake.

“A girl could seriously get used to all this awesome hocus-pocus, you know that right? It’s like dating the super-sexy, badass version of Harry Potter.’re probably more of a Sirius Black than a Harry Potter,” she mused.

It took her a second to realize he was staring curiously at her and then she went back over her previous words with a groan. Crap. Crap, crap, crap. She’d totally just implied that they were dating.

“I um… Not that we’re exactly, uh...well, you never said. Which I’m totally cool with because labels are just that. They aren’t important or anything, and…”

Loki reached up and laid a slender finger over her lips. “Relax, Darcy. I already told you that I intended to keep you in my bed for the foreseeable future. Also, we are sharing a meal at my apartment, which I paid for, after making love. I believe all of this more than meets the Midgardian requirements for dating.”

“Yeah?” she asked, excitement sparkling in her eyes as she bounced happily in his lap.

He smiled indulgently. “Yes, mortal, but be warned. If you start calling me your boyfriend, the deal is off. I am certainly no boy.”

“No,” she said, thinking of what just transpired in his shower. “you sure aren’t. So what do you want me to call you then?”

“I found the God of Oral and Orgasms to be rather appealing,” he replied, lips twitching.

Her jaw dropped. No. Nooooooo. “Loki Odinson, were you reading my mind in there? That is some serious dirty pool. You can’t just do that.”

“I think you’ll find I can and I will. Get used to it. Dragon roll?” he asked, holding up a bite of sushi between two chopsticks.

She warred between the need to snark, and the need to eat. In the end, her stomach won out and she let him place the food in her mouth. “Look,” she said, once she’d swallowed, “I get that you have the ability to do it, and sometimes that is probably pretty advantageous, but a girl likes to think what’s going on in her head is private.”

Loki appeared to seriously consider her words. “Fine. From now on I’ll get your permission before delving into your mind. Truly though, it’s so utterly cluttered with nonsense that it was a wonder I could read anything at all. Fortunately, during sex you seem to be a bit more...focused.”

Darcy figured that was as good a promise as any she would ever get from Loki. Although she made a mental note to have less sexual fantasies of him at work. Or maybe more, if that meant it would lead to him getting frisky in broom closet or something. Mmm, getting frisky in a broom closet. Oh Loki.

“There is a very sizable coat closet just through there if you would like to practice,” he interjected dryly, nodding towards the entryway of his apartment.

“Oh my God, Loki! Knock it off!” She swatted his arm in exasperation.

He chuckled and brought the knuckles of the hand she’d just hit him with up to his mouth so he could brush a kiss over them. “Darcy, I am a god. Do not invoke my name in your little fantasies unless you wish me to see them. It is that simple. Although I will miss them. The one you had last Thursday during that tedious training session was quite intriguing.”

She started to turn bright red all over and then realized there was no point. “How intriguing?”

“The very next time we are in France, I intend to show you,” he said in a low voice that promised all sorts of deliciously naughty things.

Darcy suspected the citizens of Paris would never be the same.

Which gave her an idea.

She pulled herself up, looked him straight in the eye, and thought very, very hard.

It only took a second.

Loki sucked in a harsh breath, pupils rapidly dilating. “Darcy,” he whispered.

“I’m not going to get to finish eating, am I?” she asked, lungs hitching at the look on his face.

He licked his lips. “I’ll order more.”



An hour later, Darcy lay on Loki’s chest in the wreckage that had once been his bedroom. He was idly curling a lock of her hair around his fingers. She tilted her head up and bit his chin.

“You aren’t going to start saying ‘mischief managed’ after every single time we have sex, I hope?” He asked, running his fingers over her ribs and making her squirm and giggle.

“Possibly,” she replied, “but only if it’s really, really fucking good.”

Loki pulled himself up on his elbows so he could look her in the eye. “Darcy, it will always be really, really fucking good.”

“Then yes. I’m gonna say it.”

He gave a sigh of resignation. “Fine. Although, I do not understand why I tolerate such impudence from you, mortal.”

She smiled wickedly. “I think it’s because I did that swirly thing with my tongue.”

His chest rumbled underneath her as he laughed.

“Hey, it’s a valid point and you know it,” she said, and then rolled up to face him as another thought grabbed her. “What are we going to tell them at work?”

Loki pondered that a moment. “Whatever you wish. Tony will be pleased. I believe he had several bets running in the office pool as to whether or not we would crack before the next mission.”

“Really?” She stared at him, wide-eyed. “He would, that fucker. It seems wrong somehow, he gets all the money and we did all the work.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that,” he replied nonchalantly.

Darcy peered at him suspiciously. “Wouldn’t say what?”

“I entered,” Loki said with a shrug.

“You WHAT?” Her jaw dropped in disbelief.

“I entered the betting pool. In fact,” he declared with a smug smile, “I even got the exact date.”

She just stared at him, feeling like she should probably get really mad. Any minute now. Except… “Why would anyone bet against you? I mean, that makes no sense.”

“I disguised myself, of course. As far as any of those imbeciles are aware, I am Steven Brewster, from Logistics.”

“Steven Brewster.”


“From Logistics.”


“I don’t even know what to say. Wait. Yes I do. This had better not have been all for a bet, because god or not, I will fucking toss you out the nearest window,” she threatened, drawing herself up on the bed and wondering where the hell he’d put her taser.

Loki sat up and pulled her into his lap. “I assure you, Darcy, this had nothing to do with the bet. I had no idea when I chose that particular date that it would be accurate. However, I will not lie and say that I didn’t want this very, very much, or that I did not suspect that you wanted it as well. Besides, I fully intend to split the winnings with you.”

“Really?” she asked, feeling a bit mollified.

“Really,” he said firmly. “Now, do you think we could actually eat this time, or do you have more wicked fantasies that you would like to loudly broadcast at me from that naughty little mind of yours?”

“Maybe later. I’m starving.”

He gave a highly suggestive look. “Definitely later, and you order.”

Darcy quirked an eyebrow at him. “If I order, will you wear the helmet in bed?”

His eyes glittered. “I’ll let you wear it.”