He wakes up in the comfortable embrace of being spooned and it takes him a minute to even register the fact that there is someone’s erection poking into his back. How drunk was he last night? Eli Navarro has had a couple drunken honoerotic adventures, but only a few and not in a long time. The night before is a haze and he doesn’t really remember a lot other than that he and Veronica decided to go out for a drink after wrapping up a case… after that everything is a little hazy. He decides to rotate a little and see who he’s ended up in bed with, but something goes wrong as he twists to the side and his breasts get smashed into the… wait what?
Eli looks down under the blankets and holy shit that is not his body. For one thing it is a woman’s body. For another thing… well it is a white woman’s body. In fact, he doesn’t want to admit it, but he is pretty damned sure he knows whose body it is… he’s spent enough time surreptitiously eyeing Veronica Mars to be all too aware of her proportions. Which means… He is probably naked in bed with Logan Fucking Echolls. He cranes his head back and yep... that sure is Echolls pressing his cock up against his (well Veronica’s) ass cheeks.
This has got to be some weird ass dream, he thinks, as Logan presses closer against him and cups… his breast? He doesn’t even want to begin to psychoanalyze this shit. Wake the fuck up! He wills himself. This moment remains solid though, no fade out to black or something else or abruptly waking up in a cold sweat. Logan is stirring, kissing his shoulder blades and a look back reveals him, all languid lean long limbs and taut stomach muscles. Dream or not, he’s definitely got to get out of here, before he has a wet dream about using a friend who he’s way too attracted too’s body to sleep with one of the biggest assholes he knows. Eli knows he’s not being fair, but old habits die hard. There’s something sexual about the hostility between them, even now that it’s faded in the decade after high school. He gets that now, but he doesn’t want to process it like this.
So he slides over to the side of the bed, ignoring Logan’s sleeping mumbles of complaint, with a gentle strokes of his messy bed hair to settle him back down. Somehow he knew that would work and he doesn’t want to know why. Better to just assume it is because it is his fucking subconscious.
He slides on Veronica’s outfit from last, which has been left tossed by the side of the bed, trying not to run his hands too intimately along her bare skin. Now that he’s single again it has been hard not to think about her in a more than friendly way, if he ever really stopped. Again, he wills himself to wake up, but it doesn’t happen. He stumbles out into the living room, clumsy in this body that is so much smaller and differently balanced than his own.
He is not prepared for what he finds on the couch: himself sleeping. As if this dream needed to get any more fucking surreal. Watching himself from a third person perspective is weird to say the least and he feels a weird sort of surge of attraction towards the figure lying there. He generally doesn’t think he’s half bad looking, but it is weird to have the urge to lean over and taste yourself.
His eyes open and sleepiness shifts to confusion across his face as he looks at himself.
“What the…” His body starts but then looks down at itself in shock, an expression of his face that is not his own but all too familiar.
“Veronica?” He gasps, not sure how he knows it but he does. His voice comes out weird, her voice not his.
“Weev-” He silences her, gesturing towards the bedroom where Logan is still sleeping. He has no idea what is going on, but he’s pretty sure Logan doesn’t need to be involved at this moment.
She sits up awkwardly in his body, obviously just as off balance as he is, and points towards the porch door. They both remain silent until safely outside.
“What the hell?” She exclaims, perusing her appearance in the reflection of the sliding door.
“I was hoping you could tell me, V.” He replies, unnerved to hear her voice when he speaks.
“What do you remember about last night?” She asks cautiously, as if she doesn’t trust his voice.
“Not much.” He admits.
“Me either.” She sighs, her stance odd on his frame, “We went to that Japanese place with the full bar, right?”
He rubs his forehead, unnerved by how wrong it feels, “That sounds right. I don’t remember drinking enough to cause a blackout… let alone whatever this is.”
“I guess we’d better investigate it.” She suggests
“This is some Freaky Friday shit.”
“Can we go over to your place to figure out our next course of action?” She asks, “I don’t really want to have Logan involved in this and I don’t think either of us want to try explaining it to my dad.”
“Sure…” He agrees, “The keys should be in my… your jeans.”
It is hard not to this about the body he’s in and he’s pretty sure Veronica is having a similar problem. He keeps catching her looking in the rearview mirror in the car and watches her start to trace her hands across his body only to realize what she’s doing and draw back. He’s overly aware of the feeling of lace against sensitive skin and jeans hugging his curves. He looks over across the car and notices Veronica sitting awkwardly, legs at a weird angle. They get back to his place and he offers her a change of clothes and a shower, both of which she accepts before blushing as she realizes what that is going to entail. He feels equally awkward.
“This is weird.”
“You can say that again. Look, until we figure whatever this is out, we are trapped in each other’s bodies… let’s try to stop being embarrassed about what that entails and just call it even.”
“Does that mean I am supposed to give Logan a little bedroom action if he wants it?” Weevil can’t help but joke.
“I always knew you two were hot for each other but leave me out of it.” Veronica teases, trying to lighten the mood. She doesn’t realize the undercurrent of truth to that statement.
“Take the shower, Veronica. I’ll see about calling the restaurant.”
Eli tries not to think about what Veronica is doing in the shower with his body. He needs not to because when he does he feels a tightness between his legs and the sudden urge to go in there and suck his own cock with Veronica’s mouth while she’s wearing his body. He doesn’t want to think about that though, so he looks up the number and calls, only to discover that they are closed Sunday and Monday, so they won’t be able to get ahold of anyone for another two days. He’s not even sure what they are looking for. For all that shit is weird in Neptune, he’s not exactly someone who believes in the paranormal. Maybe he’s just going crazy, finally losing touch with reality. Veronica’s taking an awfully long time in the shower and he almost knocks on the door to see if she’s okay before he hears a moan on the other side, through the sound of the running water. For a minute he thinks she’s crying and he wants to comfort her, but then he recognizes the tone of his own voice and it dawns on him that she’s jacking off. He feels bad for invading her privacy but hey it is his body and it was an accident anyway. Besides, it makes him feel better about the sexual urges he’s feeling.
He’s making breakfast when she emerges from the bathroom, discovering just how many things in his kitchen he can’t reach with Veronica’s tiny frame.
“Let me get that for you.” He hears his voice say, and then Veronica’s standing behind him, pressing him gently against the counter as she reaches over him to reach.
He explains the situation to her while he’s finishing up the eggs and they agree that, until they can retrace their steps, researching the internet is probably the best thing they can do. Veronica’s phone starts to ring and she curses.
“What?” he asks.
“Logan and I were supposed to have lunch. I guess I will have to cancel it but he’s going to be so mad… it’s the third time this week.”
He wants to ask if there is trouble in paradise, but he doesn’t. He’s sure she’s feeling exposed enough as it is.
“Fine. I will go on your date for you. We wouldn’t want Logan getting all suspicious and paranoid and snooping around right now.”
“But what about…”
“Come on, V. I think I know you well enough to pretend for an hour.”
“Thanks, Eli. I really appreciate it.”
He’s pretty sure he’s going to regret this, but he lets her grab some spare clothes out of her trunk to dress up in. Locked in the shower stall, he can’t resist rubbing his hands up and down the hot naked body he’s spent all these years trying and failing not to fantasize about. Her skin feels so good against these hands and he has a hard time not following her example and masturbating, but he doesn’t have the time. She’s waiting for him when he gets out, and she does his hair and makeup before sending him on his way, with promises that she’ll do some research while he’s gone.
Logan meets him at the beachside restaurant and before Eli can think of avoiding it, he’s moving in for a kiss. Eli tells himself it is for Veronica and gives in to Logan’s greedy mouth, mouth parting in his best guess approximation of how Veronica would respond. If it were him kissing Logan it would be a battle for dominance, sharp teeth and rough tongues. Logan seems pleased enough with Eli’s performance and they sit down to order. The food hasn’t even arrived when Veronica’s phone rings, his caller ID on the screen. Logan frowns but Eli answers it anyway, maybe she’s found something. It turns out she’s just giving him an out so he tells Logan that Weevil needs his help on something work related.
“I swear you spend more time with him than me.” Logan sulks, “Come on, Veronica… he can wait a couple of hours. I’ve barely seen you these last few months… I was thinking that after lunch we could…It’s been almost a month.”
Logan’s giving him the bedroom eyes, and Weevil knows he’s not going to take no for an answer without creating a big scene. He makes a decision.
“I’ve really got to go.” He laments, “But we could skip the lunch and take a quick stop home first…”
Logan’s eyes light up and they are out of there almost instantly. Back at Logan’s, Eli finds himself being devoured by Veronica’s overeager boyfriend. He forgets he is supposed to be loving and gentle with Logan and instead his kisses are rough, but that only seems to turn Logan on more. Weevil sinks to his knees on the floor and unbuttons Logan’s pants, dragging his boxer briefs down with them and proceeds to go down on him so enthusiastically that he hopes Logan will be too distracted to notice the difference. It doesn’t take long before Logan is shooting into his mouth, hot cum hitting his throat. He looks surprised, like he didn’t expect Veronica to do what she’s just done. Then he seems to remember that he hasn’t done anything for her yet, and he presses Eli against the wall, one hand up Veronica’s shirt and the other down her pants. Eli realizes he’s panting and wet, the nipple Logan is rubbing through the lace bra is painfully stiff. Logan crooks his finger inside and it only takes a few strokes before Eli is spasming around his finger, experiencing the differences in the way Veronica’s body climaxes compared to his own.
“That was…” Logan breathes, kissing him gently now.
“I’m sorry I’ve been busy.” Eli tells him, “I’ll see you later, okay.”
Then he straightens Veronica’s clothing and walks right out the door, ignoring his shaking legs. He hopes that Veronica would appreciate what he’s done, rather than be angry. He tells himself that it was for her. He was trying to save her relationship, which is doesn’t seem like is doing very well. He’s pretty sure that Logan implied they haven’t had sex in a month. Of course he’s not going to tell Veronica Logan said that. The fact remains that he got off on that little adventure with Logan. The fact remains that it has obviously been a while and this whole situation is making him lose all the ground he’s made since a few angry shame filled make outs back in high school, the cool tile of the Neptune High bathroom against their skin as aggression took an unexpected turn. That’s not even mentioning Veronica.
He finds Veronica passed out on his couch over her laptop and he shrugs and goes to do the same on top of his bed.
The next couple days are uneventful, both Veronica and he call out sick to work. Veronica tells Logan she is going out of town for a couple days on a case. They hide out in his apartment, ordering takeout when food supplies run low. They end up sharing the bed, clothed of course… not that it isn’t like they each know the body beside them since it is their own.
Tuesday comes and they head out to see what they can find out from the restaurant. The internet doesn’t seem to be finding anything remotely useful. It seems like this is going to be a bust too, until a little old woman runs out onto the street after them.
“I know what you seek.” She tells them, “You have drunk from the spirit possessed sake and now your bodies and souls are misaligned.”
She’d sound crazy except that they are living it.
“What can we do?” He asks.
“It cannot be resolved until you love yourself.” She tells them and then walks away.
They spend the next couple days trying to figure out what the fuck she means. It doesn’t look like it is self love in the sense of masturbation, or they’d move already be there. he reflects. It doesn’t seem to be about self esteem either. By Friday night they are both starting to freak out. They order in pasta and drink a bottle and a half of wine before passing out.
It takes a moment for him to recognize the figure in his dream. It has been so long, and she doesn’t look quite like the girl he remembers. She looks like the woman she might have become.
“Hey there, lover.” Lilly’s tone is sexual as ever, as she straddles his lap, here in the dream world he has his own back.
“Who else would I be, Weevil?” She laughs, rubbing her breasts up against his chest, as she wraps her arms around his neck.
“I haven’t dreamed about you in years.”
Almost as long as it has been since I hallucinated you, thank god.
“You didn’t need me, I guess. Except apparently you did. I mean look at the mess you have ended up in.”
“Does that mean you have some advice?” He asks.
“ Duh!” She rolls her eyes, “I did this so you and Veronica would get your act together. Like, I can’t believe I had to resort to extreme measures and you two still aren’t boning! Although, I’ll admit I dig the little interlude you had with Logan… HOT.”
“Are you saying that the whole point of this is for Veronica and I to hook up?”
“Yeah… What else would it be about… honestly Weev… I don’t know what you guys would do without me. I have been trying to push you together since high school! It is like SO obvious, that you two are supposed to be together, but no you are being all noble and not saying anything when you clearly want to jump her bones and she’s sticking it out with Logan… who was boring… even when I was sixteen fucking years old.”
Eli wakes and sits upright in bed, next to him Veronica does the same.
“Lilly…” She whispers.
“Did you have the same dream?” He asks.
“The one where she told me she did this to us… so that…”
“We’d sleep together?” He finishes.
They both look at each other, stunned.
“I suppose it is worth a try…” Veronica shrugs, and then she leans in. Eli remembers the old woman’s advice about loving yourself and realizes that he knows exactly what his body is responsive to. From there it is easy to suck on just the right bit of skin, to grind Veronica’s sexy hips down at just the right angle, to circle his familiar cock with just the right motion. Veronica seems to have realized the same thing, because he is keenly aware of how much this body is responding to being pushed back into the pillow, to the light rake of nails across the nipples, to the way that she angles his tongue up inside of her. Eli has no idea if Veronica’s body is just a lot more responsive than his own, or whether this is the best hookup of his life because the person going down on him knows exactly what this body liked best.
The way Veronica’s eyes rolls back in his head, when he finally climbs onto her and slides down onto his own hard cock, riding with great abandon, makes him suspect the latter.
They both pass out in each other’s arms, and awake in their own bodies. The first thing Eli becomes aware of is Veronica wrapped around his back, hands reaching around to slowly stroke his cock, which is part of the body he is in once more. He rolls onto his back and she crawls on top of him, kissing him exactly the way he’s always dreamed she would and rubbing herself against his growing erection. He reaches up to cup her breasts, rubbing her nipples the way she did the night before and realizing that she is circling her hips just the way he did. This encounter is strange in its own way, as they get used to their own bodies again, but every bit as intense and impossibly good as the night before.
Lying there in the afterglow, Eli buries his face in Veronica’s hair, one arm wrapped around her waist, “What are we going to tell Logan?” He finally asks.
“I thought maybe the truth: Lilly came to me in a dream and told me to break up with him for you.”
They both collapse into laughter for a moment but all he can think is that the fact that she’s choosing him is the best thing that’s happened to him in a very long time.