"Yo Karofsky, everyone's favorite fairy is hangin' round for that glee club thing."
I have mastered the ability to keep my face clear, not to show any expression. I turn around and put on a show. "Great, just what we need. He's like a disease that keeps coming back." All I can think is oh god, Kurt's back. Nobody can understand how badly it's hurt knowing that he's gone and knowing that I did it. I never meant to threaten Hummel, scare him away. I was just so fucking scared that he'd open his mouth and take everything from me. Being gay might not be the end of the world for him, but it'd be the end of my world right now.
"I gotta go dude."
"Alright, make sure you don't catch fag disease." Oh god, I literally sound like a ten year old. Dad's right, I have become stupid, but to save my own sorry ass.
I wait for him to leave and then I realize that this, this is a golden opportunity for me. I don't know what the hell I'm going to say but I've wanted to talk to Kurt for a really long time. I mean, it's not like I can make things sunshine and rainbows but at least I can explain to him that I'm not going to hurt him. Nobody's here now. The school's emptying out except for the zero people who are going to that loser benefit. I clean up the weights and go for it.
Finding him isn't hard. I run right into him. Oh my god. Prep school is there. Kurt's little prep school boyfriend who preaches the whole "gay is okay" thing and walks around singing about how "you're not alone" and he was "born this way." He's so perfect for Kurt that it absolutely burns.
It's over fast. It hurts. I've been living a lie and those goddamned queers are right. They know the truth. They know how it is. I'm just glad that stupid, stupid Lopez and her big mouth got in the way. I could have literally punched Kurt's stupid boyfriend in the face for what he did. I could have hurt him. I could have sunk deeper into the hole if ghetto Barbie didn't shove her way into the picture. I'm such a failure.
All I wanted to do was talk. All I wanted to do was fix things.