Fandom: High School Musical
Word Count: 3,266
Warnings: AU crack that's mildly sexual with allusions to OCs taking drugs
Author's Note: I actually have nothing to say about this fic other than that it's for , where we were challenged to combine/crossover/create an AU with HSM and an assigned musical. I had Aladdin. Beta by , who suggested the carpet.
Disclaimer: HSM is that of Ortega and Disney. The Aladdin used in this story is also that of Disney - not of 1001 Arabian Nights. In case there was confusion.
Disclaimer 2: I do not condone the use of any conjugation of the verb "to get" in place of any conjugation of the verb "to be."
Summary: Chad finds the antique in the attic when he's searching for the Christmas decorations.
Chad finds the antique in the attic when he's searching for the Christmas decorations. It looks like a gravy boat, and it would be great for his mother. She's been freaking out about her in-laws coming in from California for the holidays. Maybe fancy silverware will calm her down. It's in desperate need of silver polish. Luckily, Chad knows where his mother keeps the polish.
Not so luckily, it's at the bottom of her jewelry box.
Chad worries that he'll lose the jewelry, which would land him in a ridiculous amount of trouble. The logical decision is to put the jewelry on and hope his mother doesn't walk in on him. That's a conversation he really doesn't want to have. She's at work now, Chad's older sister is at college for another week, and his father is on a business trip until tomorrow evening. So Chad, whose first semester at college ended three days ago, is in charge of setting up the Christmas decorations.
He digs out the silver polish only to discover that there's no rag with it, so he goes in search of a washcloth.
When he opens the dish of polish, he somehow ends up with half of it over his hands.
By the time he's actually able to polish the gravy boat, Chad looks like a drag queen who jerked off the local mechanic. He's going to need a like five showers after he finishes cleaning up.
He takes one swipe with the polish along the gravy boat, and it heats up, so much so that Chad drops it on the carpet, smearing it with polish too. Chad's going to be in so much trouble. Then, to make matters worse, sparks start shooting out of the spout, singeing the carpet.
So. Much. Trouble.
There's a blinding light, and Chad falls to the floor and throws his hands over his eyes, smearing his face with the polish. Now Chad looks like a drag queen who banged the local mechanic.
When he pulls his hands away from his face and the spots clear from his vision, there's a person standing in front of him. A blond boy, naked from the waist up save a hat. If Chip'n'Dales wore hats, that's the kind of hat they would wear. Chad doesn't know the name of the type of hat, and the boy looks a little too lithe to be a Chip'n'Dale or whatever, not that Chad knows what Chip'n'Dales look like. The boy has gold wrist cuffs, an earring in one ear, and a bewildered expression.
"Um," Chad says. "What?"
"I'm out," the boy states. He can't be older than Chad is, and Chad has no idea where he came from.
"You have puffy pants," Chad says, for lack of anything else to say. "Are - are those parachute pants?"
The boy looks down and smiles. "I'm out!"
"Uh," Chad says. "Why're you telling me you're gay? Can't you tell me how you got into my house?"
The boy frowns, looking down at Chad. "Gay? I'm out of the lamp."
"The lamp?" Chad echoes. "You mean the gravy boat?"
"The gravy - No, that's a lamp," the boy explains. "It's an old oil lamp from well before the idea of electricity could be conceived." He looks horribly put-upon explaining this to Chad.
"Old? Wait - you came from the gravy lamp?" Chad asks skeptically, pulling himself to his feet.
"When you rub the lamp, the djinn inside will be released," the boy explains seriously.
Chad presses his lips together to keep from laughing. "Dude, that sounds pretty gay. And really dirty."
The boy gives him a critical look. "I suppose you're the foremost authority on what is gay," he says disdainfully. "Does your mother know that you use her jewelry?"
"Leave my mother out of this!" Chad barks.
"Look," the boy says. "What's your name?"
"Chad," Chad responds reflexively.
"Look, Chad, I'm a djinn. I will grant you three wishes, and then I'll go back into the lamp and leave you alone," the boy explains long-sufferingly.
"A gin?" Chad asks skeptically. "Like a genie?"
"Exactly." The boy nods.
"And you grant me three wishes?" Chad continues skeptically.
"Exactly." The boy nods again. "There are a few exceptions: no wishing for more wishes, no wishing to kill anyone, no wishing anyone back from the dead, and no wishing for anyone to fall in love with anyone else - that includes you." He ticks off the rules on his fingers.
"Like in Aladdin?" Chad asks, pointing the gravy boat on the floor. "So that's not a gravy boat?"
"I'm a bit too highbrow to live in a gravy boat," the boy - genie says distastefully.
"But not highbrow enough to live in something fancier or larger than an old oil lap?" Chad asks wryly.
The boy scowls at Chad. "Are you going to continue to be this obtuse? Just make your wishes, and I'll be on my way."
"On your way where? Back into that lamp?" Chad asks. "You were totally excited to be out, and you want to go back in?"
"Ah, well. No," the boy admits in a small voice. "I'd rather never go back in there again."
"Like Aladdin," Chad confirms with a nod. Then, "How do I know you're some magical being instead of some kook who wants to rob me?"
The boy rolls his eyes. "Nice try. I'll give you a free pass, though." He points his forefinger at Chad's face. "There. You're clean."
Chad blinks, then looks at his hands and then his face in the mirror. He's clean.
"Huh," he says. "Cool. You have a name?"
The boy looks at him critically. "No," he says slowly.
"Well, I just can't call you 'genie' or 'that boy,' you know?" Chad says.
"Why not?" the boy says, clearly confused.
"It's kinda demeaning," Chad explains with a shrug.
"I've gone close to five thousand years without a name, I doubt another five minutes is going to make a difference," the boy counters.
"What makes you think it's going to be five more minutes?" Chad challenges.
"Because you're going to make your wishes and let me on my way," the boy says slowly as if Chad were the one who were slow.
"Fine," Chad mutters. He doesn't know what to wish for, but he does know how he ended up in this situation. "I wish everything goes well for my mother this holiday season."
The boy stares at him. "Not wealth or fame or power. You want everything to go well for your mother?"
"I can wish for that, right? I mean, I don't think that involves anyone dying or falling in love," Chad says with a frown.
"No, you can wish for that. It's just not the usual repertoire," the boy says after a moment studying Chad's face.
"Cool," Chad says in relief. "That will make everyone's life a fuckton more bearable."
"Fuckton?" the boy repeats. "That's new slang since the last time I had a Master."
"When was that?" Chad asks, curious. He begins the arduous task of removing all of his mother's jewelry and putting it back from whence it came.
The boy shrugs. "There was a whole lot of neon and hair crimping."
"The 80's?" Chad says. "That's over twenty years ago."
"Oh. That's not that bad," the boy says.
"Not - not bad?" Chad's down to his mom's last bracelet and pauses midway to the box. "Dude, I'm not even twenty years old."
The boy shrugs.
"Whatever," Chad says with a shake of his head. He puts the last bracelet in the box and closes it up. "Let me show you what she wants."
Chad named his genie Ryan. Chad had tried out many names with which to call his genie, but the only one that stuck was Ryan. And to not give his genie a name was just demeaning.
Ryan lounges on Chad's roommate's (Josh's) dorm bed, looking very much like someone out of a very, very bad - but very, very pretty - porno. Chad's seen his share of both.
Most of all, Chad likes having someone to talk to about anything. It doesn't hurt that Ryan is very pretty, and his sassy attitude is kind of a turn on, not that Chad would admit that aloud. It also doesn't hurt that Ryan has a nice, rounded ass, and his baggy pants are riding down his hips as he lies.
Ryan has taken to doing little things just to annoy Chad. For example, he magicked the carpet in his dorm room to fly. And to slap Chad on the ass whenever he bends over.
But mostly Ryan wants Chad to make his fucking wishes already.
"How about infinite knowledge?" Ryan offers.
Chad's halfway through a paper for his English core class. It's on the importance of the Epic throughout history, and it's the driest fucking thing he's ever forced from his brain. Therefore, he's half tempted to take Ryan up on the offer.
Chad turns around in his chair to stare at Ryan. "Dude, you really want to go back into that lamp?"
Ryan sighs dramatically. "I'm there every time your roommate's around."
"By your own decision," Chad reminds him.
"Josh is an air-headed halfwit," Ryan says airily. He waves his hand through the air, and it shimmers, like a ripple of water.
"Did - did you just make the air glitter?" Chad asks incredulously. "Because if not, I seriously need a study break."
"Do you wish you had a study break?" Ryan asks eagerly.
"No," Chad says firmly. "I'm going to take one on my own."
"Why won't you just make a wish?" Ryan demands.
Chad walks over to the bed and stares down at Ryan. "I like having you around," Chad admits with a shrug.
Ryan cranes his neck up to look at Chad. "Let me put this in small words," he says slowly. "I was created to grant wishes for my Masters. If my Master does not make a wish, I become anxious and feel unfulfilled."
Chad sniggers. "That sounds really dirty."
Ryan snorts and flops around into his back.
"Huh," Chad says. A week ago, Ryan would have just magicked himself around.
"What?" Ryan demands. He's very good at making demands for someone who's supposed to be taking them.
"You turned around… without magic," Chad says sheepishly.
Ryan bolts upwards into the air. Literally. He's standing in the air, his feet on nothing and his head inches away from the ceiling.
The carpet perks up, interested in what is going on in the air and why it hadn't been invited.
"Allah!" Ryan exclaims. "I'm going native! Quickly, Chad, make a wish!"
The carpet circles Ryan in excitement. As much excitement as a carpet can show, Chad supposes.
Chad makes a face. "For what?"
"Anything! I need to know I'm not losing my magic!" Ryan says desperately.
"Ryan, you're in midair. I don't think you're losing your magic, but nice try," Chad says dryly.
Ryan sinks back down to the bed, and the carpet sinks back down to the floor. "Oh." He crosses his legs and props his chin on his hands.
"Would it really be that bad if you lost your magic?" Chad asks curiously.
"How would I grant wishes?" Ryan wonders.
"What if you didn't have to?" Chad counters.
"Grant wishes?" Ryan asks incredulously.
"Yeah," Chad says.
They stare at each other intently.
"You're wondering what it would be like to be something I'm not. You want me to go against thousands of years of hardwiring. It's like me asking you not to be human. You can't do it," Ryan says sadly.
"What if I wish for it?" Chad asks slyly.
"It would be like wishing for the death of someone," Ryan says. "At least I think so."
"It's never been tried?" Chad presses.
"No," Ryan says with a shake of his head.
"Huh," Chad says. He then moves to stand right in Ryan's face. "I wish you were free."
Ryan stares at him in shock. Then slowly says, "Okay."
He closes his eyes and nothing happens.
A moment later, he opens them back up, "That didn't work." He says it as if he really doesn't exactly believe it.
"Well, that sucks," Chad says. "Damn it. It worked in Aladdin."
He returns to his computer to finish up his paper. Ryan sighs, and shrinks himself, poofing himself to sit on top of the screen. He kicks at it with the heels of his tiny, bare feet.
"Are you going to need pizza after this?" Ryan asks.
"Probably," Chad says distractedly. He only has his conclusion to write, but he's completely forgotten everything he's written for the past five pages. "Beer would be awesome, too," Chad adds.
"I'm not giving minors alcohol," Ryan says. "I know your laws just as well as I know my own."
Chad snorts. "What if I wish for it?"
"I wish I had - Nah, that's a stupid wish," Chad says halfway through.
Ryan looks ready to murder him. Which is really funny, because Ryan's the size of those little, plastic army men.
"Just fucking make a wish. That way you can make real friends instead of spending all your time with me," Ryan says moodily.
"I have real friends," Chad shoots back. "I'm friends with my roommate. And you're a friend."
"I'm a servant," Ryan says self-deprecatingly.
"When was the last time you waited on me?" Chad asks. He frowns at the words on his screen.
After a blink, Ryan is on the screen of his computer, in a little two dimensional version of himself.
"What are you doing?" Chad asks suspiciously.
Ryan climbs the lines of words like a ladder.
"Dude, what the hell?" Chad demands.
The words "I'm bored" appear in large pink script in the middle of the page, which also happens to be in the middle of the word "provocative."
"Get the hell out of there," Chad orders. "You don't wait on me, either. I mean it's not like I've said 'I wish I had a pizza and some pop.'"
Chad blinks and Ryan's right next to him, full-sized, with a pizza in one hand and a six-pack of Pepsi in the other.
"Fuck!" Chad says succinctly.
Ryan gives him a shit-eating grin.
"That at least had better be Hawaiian," Chad says resignedly.
Chad is on a date, like a real date. The first real date he's had. Ever. Her name is Maxine - Max for short, and she's a knockout. And all he can think about is how guilty he feels about leaving Ryan behind.
Max seems to sense this. Well, not the guilt but that there's something keeping his mind occupied that's not her. He's grateful that she doesn't pull a disappearing act on him, but he's still disappointed when she says, "You're in love with him, aren't you?"
That shocks Chad.
"What?" Chad chokes out.
"All night you've said three things to me: that you like my dress, that your best friend Troy lives in California, and that your new friend Ryan is who you spend all your time with," Max points out.
Chad stares at her blankly.
"Your voice softens when you talk about him," she points out. "You love him."
"Uh?" Chad says.
"Don't worry about it, Chad," she says. "I'll see you around campus."
She leaves him with the bill, which Chad supposes is fair, considering she thinks he's gay and kinda dumped her - or she dumped him. Whatever.
Chad's not gay and not in love with his genie of all things. That would be awkward, and Chad has never felt awkward around Ryan, even when he was covered in silver polish and wearing his mother's jewelry.
His dorm room is empty when he returns. His roommate is elsewhere, probably with his stoner friends. The carpet is… sleeping? Chad can't tell, but it's on the floor, where rugs belong. And Ryan is - probably in his lamp.
"Ryan?" Chad calls out.
The carpet perks up, and Ryan appears in front of him, looking mildly put off.
"You're supposed to be on a date," he says crossly. He crosses his arms and doesn't look Chad directly in the eye.
"Calm down, dude," Chad says, putting his hands up to placate Ryan. "The date didn't end as I had planned."
"Do you want a wish or something?" Ryan grumbles.
"Uh, yeah, but I - I kinda want things to be okay between us before I make it," Chad says, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
Ryan gives him a superior look. "I can't make anyone fall in love," he says snottily. He finally looks Chad in the eyes. It's a defiant look.
"I don't - " Chad cuts himself off. "But you have!"
Ryan stares at him in alarm. "I have not."
"No, you really have," Chad protests. "Me. I've - I'm in love with you, and I have no idea how this works, 'cause, like, you're not exactly human, and I am, and I'm your Master or whatever, and I don't know how you feel, because you're constantly ordering me to use up my wishes, and as soon as I make this wish, you won't - I don't know what will happen."
"Chad," Ryan says haltingly. "I - You're not making any sense. It doesn't work that way." His arms fall to his side.
The carpet looks between the two of them. Well, as much as a carpet can look. It doesn't exactly have eyes.
"What doesn't work what way?" Chad asks, feeling dejected even if he hasn't been rejected yet. He knows it's coming.
"I am bound to my lamp; my personal feelings cannot change that," Ryan says. His voice sounds a little off.
"That's not an answer," Chad says with a frown. "You must have some opinion on the matter."
"My opinion doesn't matter," Ryan says. There's no emotion to it.
"But what if it did?" Chad presses.
"But it doesn't," Ryan argues.
"But it could," Chad counters.
"But it d- "
"I wish you were human and would stay with me as long as you would like but would love if that was for the rest of our lives," Chad interrupts.
Ryan stares at him with his mouth slightly ajar.
"That's possible, right?" Chad asks eagerly.
"I - uh. Yes," Ryan says vehemently.
There's a bright light, and when the spots behind Chad's eyes clear, Ryan is still standing in front of him. He's no longer wearing his wrist cuffs.
"Did - uh, did that work?" Chad asks.
Ryan smiles at him before jumping and slinging his arms around Chad's neck.
"Awesome!" Chad enthuses.
Ryan kisses him quickly on the lips.
Josh returns, pushing open the door, causing Ryan and Chad to spring apart.
He looks from Chad to Ryan and back again.
"I'll go spend the night at Ashley's," Josh says, quickly closing the door behind him.
Chad smiles at Ryan. "We have all night."
Ryan starts humming.
"Uh, dude? Are you humming 'A Whole New World'?"
Ryan grins and kisses Chad again.
"Uh," Chad says. "I'd rather not do this with an audience."
"You didn't unmagic the carpet," Chad says.
"Oops?" Ryan says. He kisses Chad again. "We could ask it to leave."
"You want me to sexile a carpet?" Chad asks incredulously. He had never thought he would ever say those words together in a sentence.
The carpet seems to sense what is going on and flies out of the window.
Chad dimly wonders if the carpet will return, but then Ryan is kissing him, and it's amazing.