Never Second Best

by chicafrom3

Summary:

I know, I know, you're stunned by how amazingly perfect I am, but please, keep it moving.

#01 – Speak
Even from a young age, he felt the need to talk, to fill up empty spaces and silences with ramblings and chatter and gossip and brag.

#02 – Touch
It never fails to delight him, the little shock that he gets when he touches another practitioner; it makes him feel important, and not so alone.

#03 – Memory
He remembers his baby sister calling him 'Los and his mama baking all day; he tries not to remember his father's disappointment and anger at discovering his talent for magic.

#04 – Vanilla
She smelled like vanilla and bread baking and warm, homey things; he has not seen her in years, but when he needs to believe in something, he focuses on those smells.

#05 – Chocolate
The guy at the local specialty shop laughs when he sees Carlos Ramirez striding in through the doors, and always has a block of the finest dark chocolate set aside for him.

#06 - Ways and Means
Ramirez's own brand of magic is widely considered seriously untraditional, a mix of LA sensibility and sheer style, showy and effective.

#07 – Belief
At his first Council meeting, nervous and feeling disquietingly anonymous in his apprentice's robes, Carlos first saw Harry Dresden mouth off to the gathered wizards, impatient with their stalling, and he found something—or rather, someone—to believe in.

#08 – Linger
The night of the necromancers lingers; he dreams of dinosaurs and drumbeats and death for a long time afterwards.

#09 – Illuminance
The folks in the apartment next to his string lights for Halloween, yellow orange red, and give out candy to the neighborhood kids; he goes out and nearly gets himself killed being a hero.

#10 – Ornament
The heavy gray cloak of the Wardens is not flattering, even to Carlos Ramirez's build, but he wears it anyway and consoles himself with the thought that nobody has ever looked better in it.

#11 - Coup de foudre
He fell in love with magic the very moment he first felt it thrumming through his whole body, powerful and eager and right.

#12 – Archway
He never wanted to be a Warden, but he had to be, and taking up that duty felt like the first step through an archway to something terrible.

#13 – Fate
"I don't believe in fate; I believe in me," he said, and summoned up his magic.

#14 – Pulse
Chicago pulses with energy, dark and light alike, and makes Ramirez's skin itch; he's happy to go back to LA, where the energy pulse is subtler and familiar.

#15 – Envelope
There is an envelope in his hand, and a name inside the envelope, and it means, somewhere, a death; Carlos stares at it and hates being a Warden a little more.

#16 – Cold
He hates being cold, and it is warmth that he reaches to for his magic.

#17 – Need
"We need you, Carlos," Luccio said quietly, "Or we are going to lose this war."

#18 – Drunk
He got falling-down drunk the day after the Halloween battle against the Kremmlar disciples, and refused to regret a minute of it.

#19 – Mask
The brag, the self-assuredness, the confident (some would say overconfident) appraisals of his skills and his strengths and his good looks—they aren't exactly a mask, aren't exactly faked; they aren't exactly real, either.

#20 – Rose
He rose from the poorer streets of Los Angeles to a position of power among the White Council; when he stared at bloodstains on the heavy gray cloak, he was not convinced this was a positive change.

#21 – Two
The twin scars on his wrists never let Ramirez forget the price of wizardry.

#22 – Fresh
"Sweetheart, I've seen things you couldn't even dream about," he said dryly, and walked away from the tiny Goth girl.

#23 – Bribe
A tall, gorgeous blonde smiles at him and asks in soft tones if he can't overlook the werewolf attacks on Hollywood Blvd.; he laughs and tells her that nobody bribes Carlos Ramirez, and the werewolves are going down.

#24 – Error
It is one stupid error that almost gets him killed; it is Harry's good luck and quick thinking that saves his life; he idolizes the Chicagoan wizard a little more.

#25 – Appetite
"Bartender, you keep feeding me steaks like these, you might convince me to stay in Illinois."

#26 – Refrain
"Warden Morgan, kindly refrain from fucking with the citizens in my state."

#27 – Family
When his baby sister walks up to him one day in a grocery store, he doesn't recognize her for a moment; it's been way too long.

#28 – Grieve
He grieves for everyone who falls to the Wardens, even when he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that they deserved it.

#29 – Vapor
When the necromancy ended and the dead died again, he remembers vapor and light and insubstantial feelings on the air, but not much else.

#30 – Tea
"I knew you'd be by to see me, Carlos," Annie said, and he knew she wasn't lying; the tea was already boiling away behind her.

#31 – Medicine
"Laughter is the best medicine," he admonished the younger wizard, and walked on, whistling.

#32 – Moth
Ramirez was drawn to adventure and danger like a moth to a flame, and never stopped moving for fear that he'd get just as burned by it.

#33 – Perfect
"I know, I know, you're stunned by how amazingly perfect I am, but please, keep it moving."

#34 – Rope
"Apprentice Holland, always carry a good supply of rope," Carlos said, pulling his own coil out of his bag.

#35 – Wind
The Chicago night is full of wind and rain and Ramirez shivers, wishing for the heat and humidity of California.

#36 – Crossroads
There is a gray cloak sitting in his apartment; there is his car sitting on the curb; there is Carlos Ramirez sitting in a bar, struggling to come to a decision between the two.

#37 – Summer
Okay, so he admires Harry's balls for getting the Summer Lady to stand up for him at Miss Carpenter's trial; it has almost enough style to have been something he himself pulled off.

#38 – Candy
He bought Molly Carpenter a chocolate caramel bar when she made it out of the trial alive; he figured it was the least he could do, really.

#39 – Photograph
He doesn't keep photographs in his apartment, anymore, because they carry too many memories that hurt.

#40 – Spoon
"Well, damn, Harry, I know that I'm sexy and devastatingly gorgeous, but is it really necessary to spoon me?"

#41 – Forest
He quotes that bit from Phenomenon, about the forest that's really all one tree, and Luccio just rolls her eyes at him for the trouble.

#42 – Mirror
He's not vain, he just likes the face that looks back at him out of the mirror.

#43 – Smoke
He coughed and waved the thick black smoke away from his face, muttering words under his breath in a desperate attempt to get everyone out safely.

#44 – Shine
As a child, 'Los was the brightest spot in the neighborhood; but as an adult, he simply shines, because he refuses to do any less.

#45 – Balloon
The next time Carlos is in Chicago, Harry and Molly's dad rope him into helping with Molly's little siblings on a day out; he spends the time with Alicia, blowing up balloons and letting them sail out into the sky.

#46 – Vine
The spell creeps out from him like a climbing vine, farther and farther, and he revels in the feeling.

#47 – Butterfly
When Harry introduced him to Karrin Murphy, his first thought was that she looked like a butterfly in human form; his second was that she would be rough to handle in a fight.

#48 – Gloves
"People might die because I screwed up," Ramirez said dully, and Dresden didn't say anything, just laid a heavy gloved hand on his shoulder in an almost reassuring gesture.

#49 – Venom
"Wait, was that supposed to be venomous, because I could probably be a lot more vicious than that if you'd like pointers."

#50 – Remain
Life goes on, people die, things change, but Carlos Ramirez remains.