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Love is a Giant Battlefield 2: The In-Law Menace

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1's parents were two ordinary squares who were proud their son had gone off to serve the Minesweeper. That didn't mean they weren't afraid, though. Which is why Mom and Dad jumped for joy when they heard the front door.

"Mom? Dad?"

"Oh, 1 dear!" Mom exclaimed, bustling and fussing. "It's so good to see you home!"

"It's good to be home, Mom, Dad."

Dad nodded stoically, and Mom looked like she might cry.

"And I have someone I want you to meet."

The smile fell off Mom's face momentarily as 1 went back and called out the front door. "Come in already! They're going to love you!" 1 pulled a reluctant 7 inside.

"Hello," 7 said to the floor. "It's nice to meet you. I'm 7."

Mom heaved a loud sob and fled from the room.

1 looked hurt, and Dad just sighed. "Go after her, Son. She'll see reason."

1 did, which left Dad alone with 7.

"So," Dad said, not noticing 7's cringe, "How 'bout them Clicks?"

*****

"Mom. Mom!" 1 was hard-pressed to make himself heard over her wailing sobs. He tried leaning over the railing of the back porch to see her face, but it was difficult to balance. "Mom, stop crying!"

Amazingly, she did, toning it down to a smattering of sniffles.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

"It's not enough that you have to go off and risk your life on the minefield, but you had to bring home a 7? He's going to hurt you!"

"Mom," 1 said, trying to reassuring.

"Even if you're able to keep it together when you can be nowhere hear each other, you're going to end up a war widower! My little baby!" She started sobbing again, though not as loudly.

"You're right. Of course 7 could die. Or I could die. Or maybe we won't be able to last over the distance. But Mom, I love him, and I'm willing to give it a shot.

Mom cupped 1's cheek. After a moment she said, "When did you get to be so grown up?"

1 hugged her.

*****

7 was out of the olive green armchair so fast his emo bangs actually bounced up so you could see his other eye for a moment. "1!" he said in relief, glad to be saved from Dad's less than spectacular conversation skills by 1 and Mom's return.

Dad's mouth moved in the thin hint of a smile. "Told you she'd come around."

1 smiled. "Mom. this is 7. 7, this is my mom." 7 tried to smile, thought he was still a little shaky.

"You know, dear, you should really cut that hair and show the world your pretty eyes."

1 laughed and they all joined in.